Gninr  OF 
Miss   Sue   Dunbar 


1 


r<xr  V;  es    TVcxvx  c  es 


DOMESTIC  DUTIES; 

OE, 

INSTRUCTIONS 

TO 

YOUXG   MARRIED    LADIES, 

ON  THE 

MANAGEMENT   OF   THEIR   HOUSEHOLDS,   AND   THE    REGULATION 

OF   THEIR    CONDUCT    IN    THE    VARIOUS    RELATIONS 

AND    DUTIES    OF 

MARRIED    "LIFE, 

BY  MRS.  WILLIAM  PARKES. 


Every  wise  woman  buildeth  her  house ;  bnt  the  foolish  plucketh  it  dowj; 

with  her  hands Who  can  find  a  virtuous  woman  ?  for  her  price  is  far 

above  rubies Her  children  arise  up  and  call  her  blessed ;  her  husbam! 

also,  and  he  praiseth  her  —Proverbs. 


HIIRO    AMERICAN    FROM    THE    THIRD    LONDON    EDITION,   WITH 

NOTES    AND    ALTERATIONS    ADAPTED    TO    THE 

AMERICAN    READER. 


PRINTED  BY  J.  &•  J.  HARPER,  82  CLIFF-ST. 

jld  by  Collins  &  Hannay,  Collins  fc  Co.,  Wm.  B.  Gilley,  and  G.  &  L 
Carvill :— Boston,  Richardson  &  Lord,  Milliard,  Gray,  &  Co.,  Bowles  * 
Dearborn,  and  Crocker  &  Brewster ;— Hartford,  Cook  fc  Co.,  and  D,  P. 
Robinson  &  Co. 

1839. 


Southern  District  of  New-  York,  55. 

BE  IT  REMEMBERED,  That  on  the  25th  day  of  November,  A.  D.  1838, 
in  the  fifty-third  year  of  the  Independence  of  the  United  States  of  America, 
J.  &  J.  HARPER,  of  the  said  District,  have  deposited  in  this  office  the  title- 
of  a  Book,  the  right  whereof  they  claim  as  Proprietors,  in  the  words  follow- 
ing, to  wit : 

"  Domestic  Duties ;  or,  Instructions  to  young  married  Ladies,  on  the  man- 
agement of  their  households,  and  the  regulation  of  their  conduct  in  the  various 
relations  and  duties  of  Married  Life.  By  Mrs.  William  Parkes. 

"  '  Every  wise  woman  buildeth  her  house ;  hut  the  foolish  plucketh  it  down 

with  her  hands Who  can  find  a  virtuous  woman?  for  her  price  is  far 

above  rubies Her  children  arise  up  and  call  her  blessed;  her  hush  an-1 

also,  and  he  praiseth  her.'— Proverbs. 

"  First  American  from  the  third  London  edition,  with  notes  and  alterations 
adapted  to  the  American  reader." 

In  conformity  to  the  Act  of  the  Congress  of  the  United  States,  entitled  "An 
Act  for  the  encouragement  of  learning,  by  securing  the  copies  of  maps,  charts, 
and  books,  to  the  authors  and  proprietors  of  such  copies,  during  t\e  times 
therein  mentioned."  And  also  to  an  act,  entitled  ''An  Act,  supplementary 
to  an  act,  entitled  An  Act  for  the  encouragement  of  learning,  by  securing  tho 
copies  of  maps,  charts,  and  books,  to  the  authors  and  proprietors  of  such 
(  opies,  during  the  times  therein  mentioned,  and  extending  the  benefits  thereof 
to  flic  arts  of  fosignlnj,  engraving,  and  etching  historical  and  other  prints.". 

FRED.  J.  BETTS, 
Clerk  of  (he  Southern  District  of  JVeio-Yark. 


fla* 


n 


ADVERTISEMENT    TO    THE    THIRD    AMERICAN    EDITION. 


THE  "  Domestic  Duties'"  of  Mrs.  Parkes  are  addressed  to 
married  ladies,  and  particularly  those  who  have  recently  enter- 
ed upon  the  cares  of  a  family,  detailing  the  various  duties  of 
the  married  life.  These  are  all  embraced  under  the  several 
heads  of  Social  Relations,  Household  Concerns,  Regulation  of 
Time,  Moral  and  Religious  Duties,  each  of  which  forms  a  part 
or  grand  division  of  the  work,  branching  out  into  numerous 
minor  subdivisions.  The  author  appears  to  be  an  experi- 
enced matron,  who,  in  the  form  of  a  friendly  conversation  with 
her  young  married  friend,  gives  her  an  insight  into  all  the  du- 
ties of  housekeeping.  As  much  of  our  happiness  depends 
upon  our  domestic  comforts,  this  volume  cannot  be  otherwise 
than  interesting  to  all  young  people,  who  are,  or  who  intend 
to  be  married  ;  and  to  such  it  is  confidently  recommended. 

The  publishers  are  happy  to  state,  that  the  rapid  sale  of  the 
work  in  this  country,  clearly  evinces  that  its  merits  are  duly 
appreciated.  Notwithstanding  it  has  been  before  the  Ameri- 
can public  but  a  few  weeks,  two  editions  have  been  sold 
during  that  short  time,  and  this,  being  the  third,  is  now  called 
for. 

Were  any  other  evidence  required,  of  the  intrinsic  value  of 
the  work,  than  is  presented  by  its  rapid  and  extensive  sales, 
numerous  testimonials  in  its  favour  might  be  selected  from  the 
many  respectable  literary  journals  which  have  recommended 
it ;  but  these  are  deemed  unnecessary — and  only  one  or  two 
will  be  added. 

"  The  volume  before  us  is  one  of  those  practical  works, 
which  are  of  real  value  and  utility.  It  is  a  perfect  vade  mecum 
for  the  young  married  lady,  who  may  resort  to  it  on  all  qwes- 


IV  ADVERTISEMENT. 

tione  of  household  economy  and  etiquette.. ..There  is  nothing 

omitted  with  which  it  behooves  a  lady  to  be  acquainted." 

New  Monthly  Magazine. 

"  We  consider  '  Domestic  Duties'  a  very  valuable  work,  and 
well  calculated  to  promote  the  object  for  which  it  was  intended. 
It  is  one  that  we  most  cheerfully  recommend  to  all  young 
housewives,  and  to  all  who  intend  becoming  so.  There  are 
very  few  whose  education  has  been  so  complete  as  that  they 
will  not  find  much  both  novel  and  useful  in  this  volume,  written 
in  a  clear  and  agreeable  style,  and  luminously  arranged.  It 
ought  to  occupy  a  place  in  every  lady's  library." — The  Critic. 

"  This  book  contains  an  amount  of  useful  and  interesting 
information  rarely  to  be  met  with. ...It  ought  to  be  included  in 
the  marriage  portion  of  every  lady." — Chronicle  of  the  Times. 

"Among  the  many  intellectual  treats  which  have  recently 
been  spread  before  the  public,  there  has  been  none  combining 
so  many  useful  lessons  as  the  present  work  contains.  It  is 
the  ladies'  vade  mecum,  in  which  every  department  of  domestic 
duties,  of  manners,  temper,  accomplishments,  deportment,  the 
culinary  art,  visiting,  dress,  treatment  of  children,  &c.  &c. 
are  embodied  in  the  most  pleasing  manner,  and  in  the  most 
familiar  style." — Enquirer. 

Te  these  notices  might  be  added  many  more  equally  flatter- 
ing ;  but,  for  reasons  already  stated,  they  are  deemed  super- 
fluous. To  the  present  edition  is  added  a  copious  Index,  which 
materially  enchances  the  value  of  tho  work. 

J.&J.H. 

New- York,  January,  1829. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS. 

INTRODUCTORY  Remarks 9 

PART  I. 
SOCIAL  RELATIONS. 

CONVERSATION  I.  Preliminary  Sketch,  &c 13 

CONVERSATION  II.  On  the  conduct  to  be  observed  towards 
former  friends  ;  On  new  friendships  ;  Correspondence  ; 
Confidence,  £c 17 

CONVERSATION  III.  New  Acquaintances ;  Choice  of;  De- 
scription of  People  to  be  avoided ;  Gossiping ;  Scan- 
dal;  Flattery 33 

CONVERSATION  IV.  Conduct  to  Relations  ;  Advice  from ; 
when  and  how  to  be  received ;  wnen  to  be  rejected ; 
The  good  Opinion  of  Relations  essential  to  Happiness.  39 

CONVERSATION  V.  On  Temper,  as  connected  with  social 
Relationship  towards  a  Husband,  Children,  Servants, 
and  Society 46 

CONVERSATION  VI.  Forms  of  visiting ;  Morning  Calls ; 
Dinner  Parties  ;  Evening  Parties 52 

CONVERSATION  VII.  Economy ;  Dress  and  expensive 
Tastes  ;  Collections  of  Works  of  Art ;  Old  China ; 
Liberality  ;  Benevolence  ;  Presents  ;  Fashion  ...  89 

PART  II. 
HOUSEHOLD  CONCERNS. 

CONVERSATION  I.  Servants ;  Number ;  Choice  of;  Food 
of;  Management  of;  Conduct  to;  Indulgences  to; 
The  Importance  of  Example  in  fixing  their  moral  and 
religious  Habits  ;  Suitableness  of  Dress  in  Servants  ; 
Wages;  Gifts  from  Visitors ;  Qualifications  required  in 
a  House-keeper  ;  A  Cook  ;  A  Housemaid ;  A  Nursery 
Maid  ;  A  Laundress  ;  A  Footman  ;  A  Porter  ;  Method 
of  hiring  Servants,  whether  from  private  Families  or 
Register  Offices ;  Giving  and  receiving  Characters  .  .  107 


VI  CONTENTS. 

Page 

CONVERSATION  II.  The  Nursery 149 

CONVERSATION  III.  Clothes  and  Family  Linen   ....  157 

CONVERSATION  IV.  Furniture 16fc 

CONVERSATION  V.  Supply  of  Provisions ;  Marketing ; 
Personally;  by  Servants;  Books  to  be  kept  with  Trades- 
men ;  Provisions  which  are  not  of  a  perishable  Nature 
are  most  advantageously  purchased  in  large  Quantities; 
Stores;  Distribution  personally  or  under  a  Housekeeper; 
Confectionary ;  Preserves  ;  Pickles  ;  Comparative  Ad- 
vantage of  making  these  at  Home,  and  purchasing 
them  ;  Wine  Cellar ;  Fruit  Room ;  Cookery  Books  ; 
when  to  be  implicitly  followed,  when  modified  .  .  .191 
CONVERSATION  VI.  Health  and  Disease  ;  Management  of 
every  branch  of  the  Family  in  order  to  maintain  the 
former  ;  Personal  Sickness  ;  Sickness  of  Husband  ;  of 
Children ;  of  Servants  ;  Precautions  in  Contagions  ; 
Infectious  and  contagious  Diseases  ;  Medical  Attend- 
ants ;  Sick  Nurses  ;  Cookery  for  the  Sick  Room  ;  Pre- 
parations for  the  Lying-in  Room  ;  Monthly  Nurses ; 
Management  of  a  Child  in  the  Month  ;  Remarks  on 
Vaccination  .  .  .  ,  •."•••' 219 

PART  m. 

REGULATION  OF  TIME. 

CONVERSATION  I.  General  Remarks ;  Morning ;  Advan- 
tages of  Early  Rising  ;  Habit  makes  it  easy  and  agree- 
able; The  first  morning  Duty  private  Devotion;  Morn- 
ing the  best  time  for  Study  ;  for  the  Regulation  of 
Household  affairs ;  the  Settlement  of  Accounts ;  the 
Instruction  of  Children  ;  Much  Time  saved  by  sketch- 
ing out  a  regular  Plan  for  the  Business  of  the  Day  .  .  307 

CONVERSATION  II.    Afternoon  ;   Occupations  at  Home  ; 
Light  Reading ;  Drawing ;    Music ;   Light    and   orna- 
mental Needlework  ;  Folly  of  neglecting  these  Accom- 
plishments in  the  married  State ;  Occupations  out  of 
^  Doors  ;  Exercise  ;  Visiting ;  Seeing  Sights  ;  Shopping  318 

CONVERSATION  III.  Evening  at  Home  without  Company  ; 
Conversation;  Work;  Amusement;  At  Home  with 
Company;  Music;  Dancing;  Games;  Cards;  Chess, 
&c. ;  Abroad  ;  General  Conduct ;  Familiarities  ;  Ease 
of  Manner  ;  Bringing  out  Daughters 328 

CONVERSATION  IV.  On  the  Danger  and  Disappointment 
attending  a  mere  Pursuit  of  Pleasure  and  Amusement ; 
The  opposite  Extreme  to  be  also  avoided  ;  The  Claims 


CONTENTS.  Vll 

Pago 

of  Society  may  in  general  be  attended  to,  without  any 
Infringement  of  higher  Duties ...»  336 

PART  IV. 
MORAL  AND  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

CONVERSATION  I.  Principles  of  Conduct ;  Sincerity;  Ma- 
noeuvring ;  Precepts ;  Example ;  Suspicion  once  at- 
tached to  the  Female  Character,  irremediable  ;  Forti- 
tude under  Misfortune ;  Resignation  ;  Widowhood ;  Old 
Age  ;  Making  a  Will 3-49 

CONVERSATION  II.  Religious  Duties  ;  Private  Devotion ; 
Family  Worship ;  Attending  Church ;  Visiting  the  Sick; 
Charitable  Institutions ;  Death  Beds 381 


DOMESTIC    DUTIES, 


INTRODUCTORY  REMARKS. 

How  great  is  the  change  which  is  instantly  effected  in 
the  situation  of  a  woman,  by  the  few  solemn  words  pro- 
nounced at  the  altar !  She,  who  the  moment  before  was, 
without  authority  or  responsibility,  a  happy,  perhaps  a 
careless,  member  of  one  family,  finds  herself,  as  if  by 
magic,  at  the  head  of  another,  and  involved  in  duties  of 
the  highest  importance.  If  she  possess  good  sense,  her 
earnest  wish  will  be,  to  act  with  propriety  in  her  new 
sphere.  Many,  no  doubt,  by  previous  judicious  instruc- 
tion, assisted  by  their  own  observations,  are  well  prepared 
to  sustain  their  part  with  judgment  and  temper  ;  but  some 
there  are  whose  situations,  or  whose  dispositions,  have  led 
them  into  other  pursuits  ;  and  who,  consequently,  find 
themselves,  as  soon  as  they  are  married,  without  that  infor- 
mation and  those  principles  of  action  by  which  their  future 
conduct  ought  to  be  governed.  For  the  guidance  of  these 
the  following  pages  are  intended. 

The  married  and  single  state  equally  demand  the  ex- 
ercise and  improvement  of  the  best  qualities  of  the  heart 
and  the  mind.  Sincerity,  discretion,  a  well-governed 
temper,  forgetfulness  of  self,  charitable  allowance  for  the 
frailty  of  human  nature,  are  all  requisite  in  both  conditions. 
But  the  single  woman  being,  in  general,  responsible  for 


10  INTRODUCTORY    REMARKS 

her  own  conduct  solely,  is  chiefly  required  to  cultivate 
passive  qualities.  To  fall  easily  into  the  domestic  cur- 
rent of  regulations  and  habits  ;  to  guard  with  care  against 
those  attacks  of  caprice  and  ill  humour  which  might  dis- 
turb its  course  ;  to  assist,  rather  than  to  take  the  lead,  in 
all  family  arrangements,  are  among  her  duties  ;  while  the 
married  woman,  in  whose  hands  are  the  happiness  and 
welfare  of  others,  is  called  upon  to  lead,  to  regulate,  and 
to  command.  She  has  to  examine  every  point  in  the  new 
situation  into  which  she  is  transplanted  ;  to  cultivate  in 
herself,  and  to  encourage  in  her  husband,  rational  and 
domestic  tastes,  which  may  prove  sources  of  amusement 
in  every  stage  of  their  iives,  and  particularly  at  the  latter 
period,  when  other  resources  shall  have  lost  their  power 
to  charm.  She  has  to  proportion,  not  as  in  the  single 
state,  her  own  personal  expenses  merely,  but  the  whole 
expenditure  of  her  household  to  the  income  which  she  is 
now  to  command ;  and  in  this  part  of  her  duty  there  is 
often  exercise  for  self-denial  as  well  as  for  judgment. 
The  condition  of  her  husband  may  require  her  to  aban- 
don, not  only  habits  of  expense,  but  even  those  of  gene- 
rosity. It  may  demand  from  her  a  rigid  adherence  to 
economy,  neither  easy  nor  pleasant,  when  contrary  habits 
and  tastes  have,  under  more  liberal  circumstances,  been 
fixed  and  cultivated.  Such  alterations  in  habit  may  at 
first  be  regarded  as  sacrifices,  but,  in  the  end,  they  will 
meet  their  compensation  in  the  satisfaction  which  always 
results  from  the^onsciousness  of  acting  with  propriety 
and  consistency.  Sometimes,  however,  the  means  of  in- 
dulging liberal  and  generous  propensities  are  extended 
by  marriage.  Where  this  is  the  case,  that  extreme  atten- 
tion to  economy,  which  circumscribes  the  expenditure  very 
much  within  the  boundaries  of  the  income,  would  betray 
a  narrow  and  mean  spirit,  and  would  have  the  effect  to 
abridge  the  blessings  which  by  affluence  may  be  dispensed 
around. 


INTRODUCTORY   REMARKS.  11 

No  woman  should  place  herself  at  the  head  of  a  family 
without  feeling  the  importance  of  the  character  which  she 
has  to  sustain.  Her  example  alone  may  afford  better  in- 
struction than  either  precepts  or  admonitions,  both  to  her 
children  and  servants.  By  a  "  daily  beauty"  in  her  life, 
she  may  present  a  model  by  which  all  around  her  will 
insensibly  mould  themselves.  "Knowledge  is  power" 
only  when  it  fits  us  for  the  station  in  which  we  find  our- 
selves placed  ;  then  it  gives  decision  to  character ;  and 
every  varying  circumstance  of  life  is  met  with  calmness, 
for  the  principle  to  act  upon  is  at  hand  ;  then  we  are  pre- 
pared either  to  add  our  share  to  the  amusement  and  inte- 
rest of  general  society,  or  to  lend  our  strength,  on  the  de- 
mand of  our  nearest  ties,  to  support,  comfort,  or  instruct. 
Duty  will  not  be  an  appalling  word  to  those  whose  minds 
are  properly  framed.  Indeed,  they  who  have  made  it  the 
rule  of  their  lives,  have  found  it  also  the  source  of  their 
happiness  ;  while,  in  others,  the  consciousness  01  having 
neglected  its  precepts,  has  corroded  every  power  of  en- 
joyment. 

As  dialogue  admits  of  great  latitude  in  detail,  the  author 
has  taken  advantage  of  that  form  to  convey  the  following 
remarks  to  her  reader,  whom  she  supposes  to  be  a  young 
and  inexperienced  house-keeper,  and  uninformed  in  all  the 
minutiae  of  domestic  management.  To  such  only  she  ven- 
tures to  offer  her  work,  as  a  basis  upon  which  good  sense, 
when  aided  by  experience,  may  afterwards  establish  a 
more  complete  and  perfect  system  of  Domestic  Ditty. 


PART  L 

SOCIAL  RELATIONS 


CONVERSATION  I. 

PRELIMINARY   SKETCH   OF   THE   OBLIGATIONS   OF 
MARRIED   LIFE. 

MRS.  L. — Since  the  ceremony  which  you,  my  dear 
Madam,  lately  witnessed,  and  which  was  the  commence- 
ment of  a  new  era  in  my  life,  I  am  become  aware  of  my 
ignorance  in  regard  to  the  obligations  now  incumbent  on 
me  as  a  married  woman.  To  your  experience  I  refer  for 
instruction  regarding  the  extent  and  nature  of  my  new 
duties,  and  the  best  mode  of  discharging  them. 

MRS.  B. — It  may  be  well  to  give  you,  at  first,  a  sketch 
of  your  new  situation,  which  shall  include  a  range  oi 
duty,  belonging,  not  to  you  individually,  but  to  married 
women  in  the  great  bulk  of  society,  of  those  who  are  nol 
members  of  either  of  the  extreme  ranks  of  the  commu- 
nity, the  highest  and  the  lowest,  but  who  have  in  common 
certain  obligations  and  duties  to  discharge,  which  arr 
varied,  by  the  fortuitous  circumstances  of  rank  and  for- 
tune, more  in  degree  than  in  number.  For  instance,  and 
in  the  first  place,  every  woman  by  marriage  is  placed  at 
the  head  of  a  family,  and  in  some  degree  or  other  acquires 
importance  in  society.  This  circumstance,  alone,  imposes 
on  her  an  obligation  to  frame  her  conduct  so  as  to  render 
ij  at  least  irreproachable  in  the  eyes  of  others,  if  not  a 


OBLIGATIONS  OF   MARRIED  LIFE.  13 

model  for  imitation.  In  a  greater  or  less  number  she  has 
dependents  around  her,  not  only  expecting  to  derive  from 
her  comfort  and  prosperity,  but  unconsciously  regulating 
their  conduct  by  hers,  and  imbibing  from  her  precepts  and 
opinions  favourable  or  otherwise  to  their  morals.  She 
may  have,  in  the  course  of  time,  a  family  of  children 
around  her— to  them  she  ought  to  appear  as  an  infallible 
guide  and  example ;  untarnished  by  habits,  which,  in 
their  influence,  would  affect,  prejudicially,  the  character 
of  youth,  and  incapable  of  uttering  sentiments  in  any  way 
injurious  to  the  cause  of  virtue. 

In  the  next  place,  a  woman  increases,  by  her  marriage . 
her  family-ties  and  relationships.  These  give  her  new 
friendships  to  cultivate,  and  to  cement  with  esteem  and 
affection — while  those  previously  formed  are  still  to  be 
preserved  and  maintained.  This  is  by  no  means  an  un- 
important point  of  attention ;  for  the  happiness  of  many 
a  married  couple  has  been  materially  affected  by  injudi- 
cious conduct  towards  both  new  and  old  connections. 
Jealousies  and  petty  family-feuds  spring  from  this  source, 
and  diminish  the  respectability,  as  well  as  the  comfort  of 
domestic  life  ;  to  avert  them  needs  only  the  exercise  of 
good  sense  and  good  temper. 

The  mistress  of  a  family  has,  too,  the  power,  generally, 
of  being  the  spring  of  its  movements,  and  the  regulator 
of  its  habits.  Exerting  this  power  properly,  she  sees 
around  her  every  one  obedient  to  the  laws  of  order  and 
regularity.  The  laborious  parts  of  household  occupations 
are  all  performed  without  unnecessary  pressure,  and  the 
consequent  comfort  is  felt  by  the  whole  family,  and  espe- 
cially shown  in  the  satisfied  countenances  of  those  who 
perform  the  work.  They,  knowing  exactly  their  daily 
task,  can  by  diligence  earn  for  themselves  periods  of 
relaxation  and  rest,  which  would  be  completely  lost  but 
for  the  regularity  prevailing  throughout  the  family  ar- 
rangements. Where  this  is  neglected,  discontent  arid 


14  PRELIMINARY   SKETCH   OF   THE 

ill-humour  have  constant  exciting  causes  in  the  confusion 
and  discomfort  which  pervade  the  family. 

Another  point  of  duty,  which  usually  devolves  on  the 
married  woman,  and  which  demands  the  constant  exercise 
of  judgment  and  prudence,  is,  the  expenditure  of  that 
portion  of  income  allotted  to  household  exigences.  Here 
judgment  should  direct  and  determine  her  to  a  just  division 
of  that  sum  between  luxuries  and  essentials :  prudence 
should  secure  her  adherence  to  that  division,  and  should 
regulate  all  the  minutiae  of  her  expenditure.  Extravagance 
and  inattention  to  this  branch  of  domestic  management 
would  be  destructive  of  the  comfort  of  almost  every  fa- 
mily, and  perhaps  fatal  to  its  prosperity. 

The  married  woman  has  also  obligations  of  society  to 
discharge,  which  may  be  said  to  extend  beyond  the 
bounds  of  family  connections  and  relationship  : — she  has 
to  cultivate  suitable  acquaintance  ;  to  perform  the  various 
offices  of  good  neighbourhood  ;  to  be  social,  friendly,  and 
charitable. 

In  the  last  place,  the  married  woman  has  duties  to  hei- 
self  to  perform.  These  regard  the  government  of  herself 
in  temper ;  in  subjecting  her  mind  and  affections  to  her 
reason;  in  restraining  and  correcting  propensities  and 
habits  prejudicial  to  the  happiness  of  married  life  ;  in  the 
disposal  of  her  time,  the  improvement  of  her  mental 
powers,  the  cultivation  of  morality,  and  the  duties  of 
religion. 

Of  all  these  social,  domestic,  and  personal  obligations, 
her  husband  is  the  centre  :  when  they  are  properly  dis- 
charged, his  welfare  and  happiness  are  certainly  promoted ; 
and  his  esteem,  affection,  and  confidence  established  on  a 
permanent  basis.  In  neglecting  them,  he  is  neglected,  hi? 
respectability  diminished,  and  his  domestic  peace  and 
comfort  destroyed. 

MRS.  L. — This  is  not  a  more  enlarged  view  of  the  sub' 
ject  than  every  married  woman  ought,  I  think,  to  take,  and 


OBLIGATIONS   OP    MARRIED   LIFE.  15 

yet  how  many  pursue  a  plan  of  action  on  a  far  narrower 
scale.  Some  appear  to  enclose  themselves,  as  it  were, 
within  the  walls  of  their  dwellings,  and  are  scarcely  sen- 
sible of  any  cares  or  duties  beyond  them. 

MRS.  B. — So  limited  a  scope  of  action  has  a  tendency 
to  circumscribe  the -powers  of  the  mind,  and  even  to  con- 
tract the  affections.  «  The  mind,  likewise,  often  exercises 
itself  prejudicially,  when  not  sufficiently  employed  in  im- 
portant concerns.  .  Thus  you  may  sometimes  observe 
women  of  considerable  powers  occupied  with  needless 
anxieties;  destroying  health  by  solicitude  to  preserve  it; 
fretful  and  anxious  on  the  subject  ot  children,  servants, 
and  all  the  world  ;  and  oftentimes  self-willed  and  cap- 
tious, only  for  want  of  employment. 

MRS.  L. — There  can  be  no  doubt  that  home  should 
contain  the  strongest  affections  of  the  wife  and  parent, 
and  should  be  the  seat  of  her  vigilance  and  cares ;  but  I 
have  yet  to  learn  if  these  are  sufficient  to  engage,  exclu- 
sively, the  heart  and  mind,  and  to  close  them  against  a 
larger  field  for  their  exercise  and  employment. 

MRS.  B. — Any  extreme  in  conduct  can  rarely  be  neces- 
sary, and  can  as  seldom  be  pursued  without  some  injurious 
effect.  There  are  instances,  it  is  true,  in  which  circum- 
stances demand  devotedness  to  household  concerns,  and 
to  maternal  cares,  and  which  render  such  a  line  of  conduct 
highly  praiseworthy.  But  those  whose  station  and 
affluence  enable  them  to  command  the  service  of  others 
in  household  cares,  are  not  to  be  commended  if  they  tort 
through  the  duties  their  servants  ought  to  perform.  In 
doing  this,  they  are  led  to  neglect  the  more  varied  and 
extensive  claims  which  are  attached  to  their  sphere  of 
life,  and  thereby  to  diminish  their  value  in  society,  and  to 
render  their  characters,  as  a  whole,  imperfect. 

MRS.  L. — And  yet,  confined  and  unpleasing  as  such  a 
character  is,  is  it  not  preferable  to  one  that  pursues  an 
opposite  extreme  ? — one  who,  selfishly,  regardless  of 


16  OBLIGATIONS    OF   MARRIED   LIFE. 

family-duties,  leads  a  life  of  dissipation  and  amusement . 
whose  heart  and  soul  are  always  in  the  world,  and  never 
at  home  ? 

MRS.  B. — Such  a  wife  or  mother  is  worthless.  She 
neglects  the  chief  and  positive  duties  of  life,  without 
fulfilling  those  of  a  minor  character  with  any  good  effect. 
At  home  her  example  is  injurious,  a»d  if  abroad  she  pos- 
sess any  influence,  it  is  merely  of  a  temporary  nature, 
resting,  probably,  on  no  surer  ground  than  that  of  fashion. 
In  portraying  the  beau-idtal  of  a  married  woman,  I 
should  describe  one  not  absorbed  in  any  single  part,  but 
attentive  to  the  whole  of  life's  obligations ;  one  who 
neglects  nothing, — who  regulates  and  superintends  her 
household  concerns  ;  attends  to,  watches  over  and  guides 
her  children,  and  yet  is  ever  ready  to  consider,  in  mode- 
ration, the  demands  upon  her  tune,  which  the  numerous 
and  various  claims  of  society  may  make.  Such  appear? 
to  me  to  be  a  right  sketch  of  the  character  of  the  married 
woman. 

MRS.  L. — This  is  not  to  be  denied.  And  now  may  I 
repeat  my  request  that  you  will  enter  into  details  with  me. 
remembering  my  entire  ignorance  on  most  of  the  topics 
connected  with  the  duties  of  my  new  character  ? 

MRS.  B. — Willingly.  And  we  will  arrange  and  pursue 
our  conversations  by  a  regular  plan,  so  that,  considered 
together,  they  may  form  for  you  a  system  of  Domestic 
Duty. 

In  our^rs*  part,  the  claims  of  social  life  shall  be  dis- 
cussed. In  this  may  be  comprised  all  those  which  regard 
our  friends,  acquaintance,  relations,  husband,  children,  and 
servants. 

In  the  second  part,  we  will  treat  of  the  management  of 
the  house  and  household. 

The  third  part  may  contain  strictures  on  the  disposal 
of  time,— and  the  fourth  and  concluding  portion  of  our 
system  shall  be  confined  to  moral  and  religious  duties. 


17 


CONVERSATION  IL 

ON    THE    CONDUCT    TO   BE    OBSERVED    TOWARDS     FORMER 
FRIENDS    AND    CONNECTIONS. — ON    THE    FORMATION   OF 

NEW  FRIENDSHIPS. — CORRESPONDENCE. CONFIDENCE, 

&C. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  known  some  ladies  who,  after  mar- 
riage, have  abandoned  most  of  their  early  friendships,  and 
have  known  little  more,  through  life,  of  those  with  whom 
they  have  passed  the  happiest  and  most  innocent  period 
of  their  existence.  The  plea  in  their  extenuation  was, 
that  marriage,  having  placed  them  far  above  their  former 
connections,  rendered  the  continuance  of  such  intimacies 
incompatible  with  those  they  were  after  marriage  com- 
pelled to  form.  Under  such  circumstances,  the  nearest 
relations  have  in  some  instances  experienced  this  neglect, 
and  have  been  ungratefully  overlooked  by  those  on  whom 
they  had  formerly  bestowed  kindness  and  attention.  Can 
such  conduct  ever  be  expedient  or  necessary  ? 

MRS.  B. — To  give  up  ail  intercourse  with  old  friends 
merely  because  the  chances  of  life  have  raised  us  so  high 
as  to  make  us  ashamed  of  the  condition  to  which  they 
belong,  and  in  which  we  were  born,  is  indeed  contempti- 
ble :  such  conduct  proceeds  from  the  vice  of  a  low  mind, 
and  has  been  universally  reprobated  whenever  it  has  dis- 
played itself;  while  an  opposite  conduct,  because  it 
evinces  a  nobler  character,  has  always  been  as  much  the 
subject  of  general  approbation  and  esteem.  In  such  in- 
stances, the  world  has  forgotten  to  apply  the  stigmatising 
epithet  of  upstart,  the  elevation  of  mind  shown  by  the 
conduct  having  corresponded  with  the  rank  attained.  Yet 

I  can  imagine  considerable  difficulty  attending  the  effort  to 
2* 


18  CONDUCT   TO   BE   OBSERVED 

maintain  an  intimacy  with  both  new  and  former  connec- 
tions, where  great  inequality  of  rank  separates  them. 
This  must  be  regarded  as  one  of  the  inconveniences 
springing  from  an  unequal  marriage;  for  however  strongly 
disposed  any  one  who  has  formed  such  a  marriage  may  be 
to  show  undeviating  affection  and  respect  to  her  own  con- 
nections and  relatives,  she  cannot  compel  others  to  enter 
as  warmly  into  her  feelings,  and  to  act  in  unison  with  them. 
So  that  while  striving,  by  every  attention  in  her  power,  to 
prove  the  unchanged  state  of  her  feelings  towards  them, 
she  may  be  exposing  them  to  insult  and  humiliation  from 
those  over  whose  conduct  and  disposition  she  has  no 
control. 

Her  husband,  too,  may  be  desirous  of  loosening  the  ties 
of  her  youth,  and  of  drawing  her  completely  away  from 
her  former  rank  :  this  may  torment  and  distract  her  with 
opposing  duties  and  inclinations.  If  the  husband's  in- 
fluence, in  such  cases,  gains  the  day,  we  must  not  be  sur- 
prised nor  censure  severely.  Yet  it  must  be  confessed  that 
there  are  few  instances  in  which  a  woman  is  entirely 
deprived,  by  her  marriage,  of  the  power  of  proving  tc  her 
early  friends  the  continuance  of  her  attachmen*  to  them, 
and  that  forgetfulness  and  neglect  of  them  are  far  more 
common  than  occasion  can  justify. 

It  is  true,  that,  as  the  husband's  happiness  and  welfare 
ought  always  to  be,  by  the  wife,  primarily  considered,  she 
should  not  surround  him  with  persons  whose  society  is 
disagreeable  to  him,  or  whose  friendship  and  intimacy  he 
regards  as  injurious  to  his  prospects  and  plans  in  life. 

It  is  her  duty  to  conform  her  conduct  to  all  his  reason- 
able wishes :  he  has  raised  her  in  rank,  and  if  he  desire 
to  place  her  in  all  respects  on  an  equality  with  himself, 
she  cannot  judiciously  oppose  him.  She  must,  therefore, 
in  a  great  measure,  regulate  her  conduct,  in  regard  to  as- 
sociating with  her  former  friends,  by  his  wishes.  Suppose 
her,  however,  willing  to  relinquish  a  very  constant  social 


TOWARDS    FORMER   FRIENDS.  19 

intercourse  with  them,  to  enjoy  it  only  occasionally,  and 
at  those  times  most  convenient  and  least  annoying  to  her 
husband;  suppose  her,  also,  endeavouring  to  assimilate 
her  manners  as  much  as  possible  with  her  new  associates, 
and  cultivating  intimacies  agreeable  to  her  husband,  he  has 
certainly  reason  to  be  satisiied,  and  ought  not  to  demand 
any  greater  sacrifice,  such  as  that  of  entirely  abandoning 
former  friendships.  On  the  contrary,  it'  he  have  a  true 
regard  for  her,  and  for  her  estimation  in  the  world,  he  will 
rather  urge  her  to  preserve  her  name  from  the  odium 
which  the  charge  of  ungrateful  and  neglectful  behaviour 
towards  the  benefactors  ot  her  youth  would  attach  to  it. 
He  will  encourage  her  to  repay  past  kindness  by  every 
act  of  attention,  and  of  generosity  suitable  with  her  pre- 
sent station.  , 

MRS.  L. — But  supposing  her  husband  unreasonable, 
and  that  he  both  demands  and  expects  the  sacrifice  of  her 
old  friendships,  would  she  be  justified  in  yielding  to  his 
wisnes  ? 

MRS.  B. — To  one  warmly  attached  to  old  friends,  this 
would  be  most  painful,  and  yet,  if  the  husband  should  be 
peremptory  on  this  point,  there  would  be  no  alternative 
but  submission.  To  contend  with  him  on  the  subject 
would  prove  an  evil  precedent  in  the  matrimonial  annals, 
and  to  carry  on  concealed  intercourse  would,  in  the  event 
of  discovery,  be  a  death-blow  to  the  confidence  and  esteem 
of  the  husband.  However  painful  it  might  be  in  such  a 
case  to  yield,  it  would  entail  upon  her  fewer  evils  than 
any  other  line  of  conduct  that  can  be  suggested. 

MRS.  L. — There  is  another  case  in  which  an  unequal 
marriage  must  affect  former  friendships ; — I  mean,  when 
a  woman  marries  in  a  rank  beneath  her  own.  In  this 
case,  she  it  is  who  is  sometimes  forgotten,  neglected,  and 
deserted. 

MRS.  B. — This  is  an  evil  that  such  a  marriage  must 
always,  in  some  degree  or  other,  bring  upon  a  woman. 


20  CONDUCT    TO   BE   OBSERVED 

A  man  can  place  whom  he  marries  in  his  own  rank,  pro- 
vided) indeed,  that  her  general  conduct  be  irreproachable ; 
but  a  woman,  in  marrying  a  man  of  a  station  inferior  to 
her  own,  cannot  extend  to  him  a  similar  privilege.  She 
has  committed,  as  far  as  rank  is  concerned,  an  act  of  self- 
degradation,  by  marrying  into  a  lower  sphere.  Into  this 
she  cannot  reasonably  expect  her  friends  to  follow  her, 
and  to  submit  to  associate  with  those  whom  they  may 
consider  as  far  below  them,  not  only  in  rank,  but  in  man- 
ners, tastes,  and  information.  She  has  taken  a  step  in  life, 
not  perhaps  reparable,  but  of  which  the  inconveniences 
may  be  somewhat  averted  by  judicious  conduct ;  such  as 
conforming  her  mind  in  all  things  to  her  new  condition, 
and  rendering  her  habits  and  tastes  consistent  with  it ; 
enduring  without  useless  repining  any  deprivation  of  the 
luxuries  to  which  she  may  have  been  accustomed,  and 
which  her  present  situation  cannot  afford  her ;  and,  lastly, 
submitting  to  the  desertion  and  neglect  of  her  old  friends 
without  anger,  while  endeavouring  to  replace  them  with 
the  most  promising  of  those  she  may  now  have  it  in  her 
power  to  cultivate. 

Some  good  may  be  extracted  out  of  every  evil.  This 
abandonment  of  her  friends  may  give  her  a  useful  lesson. 
It  may  show  her,  that  she  was  not  valued  so  much  on  her 
own  account  as  for  outward  circumstances ;  and,  while 
this  consideration  must  lessen  in  her  estimation  the  magni- 
tude of  the  loss  of  friendship  she  has  sustained,  it  may 
also  lead  her  in  future  to  establish  her  intimacies  on  a  more 
secure  foundation — on  that  of  intrinsic  worth. 

It  were  happy  if  the  inconveniences  I  have  named  were 
all  that  a  woman  may  experience  by  an  inferior  marriage. 
But  very  seldom,  perhaps  never,  is  she  aware  of  the  sacri- 
fices she  may  have  to  make  in  completely  adapting  herself 
to  a  mode  of  life,  and  to  a  society  inferior  to  those  she  has 
quitted.  Personal  sacrifices  may  not  be  all :  her  taste, 
and  even  her  morality,  may  be  called  upon  to  descend  to 


TOWARDS   FORMER   FRIENDS.  21 

a  lower  standard  than  that  to  which  they  had  been  hitherto 
affixed : — she  may  never  again  associate  on  terms  of 
equality  with  any  but  the  low  in  mind  and  sentiment,  and 
the  unrefined  in  manners  and  habits. 

i  am  aware  that  I  am  digressing  from  the  main  subject 
of  our  present  conversation ;  but  I  have  been  led  on  by 
my  desire  to  point  out  to  you  some  of  the  grievous  results 
which  may,  and  have  often  occurred  in  such  a  marriage  as 
that  of  which  we  have  been  speaking. 

MRS.  L. — They  are  indeed  melancholy ;  but  in  such  a 
case  as  mine,  in  which  no  inequality  of  rank  exists,  there 
cannot,  I  hope,  be  any  just  reason  for  a  woman  relinquish- 
ing her  friends. 

MRS.  B. — No  reasonable  man  can  in  such  case  require 
his  wife  to  sacrifice  the  friendships  formed  under  the 
paternal  roof,  which  are  often  the  purest  interchange  of 
our  social  sympathies,  and  are  generally  linked  with  many 
of  the  liveliest  and  most  agreeable  recollections  of  early 
life.  None  but  an  ungenerous  spirit,  or  one  unworthy  of 
the  affections  which  he  thus  covets,  would  desire  such  a 
sacrifice,  unless  there  existed  something  peculiarly  ob- 
jectionable in  these  attachments ;  then,  indeed,  his  wish 
must  be  considered  reasonable,  and  the  compliance  of 
his  wife  proper.  But  if  no  such  objections  exist,  it  is 
more  probable  that  he  should  be  pleased  to  see  her  cherish 
the  attachments,  which  either  nature  or  habit  has  formed, 
without  suspecting,  as  a  consequence,  any  limitation  of 
affection  and  confidence  towards  himself. 

Subsequently,  indeed,  to  marriage,  intimacies  should 
never  be  formed  which  are  disagreeable  to  either  party ; 
but  as  men  mix  more  with  the  world,  and  acquire  a  greater 
facility  in  discriminating  character  than  women,  their 
judgments  should  have  great  weight  in  the  friendships 
which  their  wives  may  be  inclined  to  form.  An  ill-judged 
intimacy,  contracted  by  a  married  woman,  proves  no 
trifling  inconvenience  under  any  circumstances ;  but  if  it 


32  CONDUCT  TO  BE  OBSERVED,  &C. 

disturb  the  happiness  of  the  husband,  or  tempt  him  to  seek 
for  society  more  agreeable  to  him  than  that  which  his 
home  may  presen  .  it  then  becomes  an  evil  of  great  mag- 
nitude, which  would  have  been  more  easily  avoided  than 
removed.  Few  inconveniences  would  attend  our  inti- 
macies were  they  always  established  upon  proper  grounds ; 
upon  reason  rather  than  upon  fancy.  We  are  easily  caught 
by  agreeable  manners,  and  by  a  lively  intercourse  of  con- 
versation ;  and  our  inclinations,  too,  are  often  swayed,  in 
forming  our  friendships,  by  the  extrinsic  circumstances  of 
life.  Upon  such  grounds  we  frequently  connect  ourselves 
with  the  worthless  and  frivolous,  whose  value  for  us  in 
return  rests  upon  no  beuer  a  foundation.  When  we  lose 
any  of  these  outward  advantages,  our  "  summer  friends" 
prove  their  worthlessness,  and  we  then  rail  at  friendship, 
as  being  merely  '*  A  shade  that  follows  wealth  and  fame," 
when  we  ought  to  censure  oniy  the  misjudging  preference 
which  attached  us  chiefly  to  that  part  of  society  pleasing 
to  the  fancy  only,  and  not  sanctioned  by  the  judgment. 

MRS.  L. — Oblige  me  with  more  hints  on  this  subject, 
for  the  regulation  of  my  conduct.  As  we  cannot  cleanse 
society  of  all  its  worthless  particles,  nor,  without  becoming 
mere  ciphers,  withdraw  ourselves  out  of  it,  it  will  be  well 
to  learn,  if  possible,  to  mingle  with  it,  extracting  its  ad- 
vantages, without  imbibing  any  of  its  noxious  qualities. 

MRS.  B. — Instead  of  withdrawing  from  society,  if  may 
be  of  importance  to  you,  in  many  points  of  view,  to  main- 
tain in  it  an  extended  circle  of  acquaintance.  This  need 
not  preclude  a  proper  discrimination  in  the  choice  of  your 
friends.  The  forms  of  society  favour  our  independence 
in  this  respect,  allowing  us  to  be  acquainted  with  many 
(according  as  our  inclination  and  style  of  living  determine 
our  choice  in  this  matter,)  but  to  be  intimate  with  few. 

Sometimes,  it  is  true,  old  established  family  friendships 
oblige  the  young  married  woman  to  receive  on  terms  of 
intimacy  those  whom  she  might  not  otherwise  have  select 


ON  THE  CHOICE  OP  FRIENDS.  23 

for  her  friends  ;  but  we  will  put  aside  such  considerations 
for  those  which  regard  the  formation  of  friendships  de- 
pending chiefly  on  choice.  I  think  I  have  a  short  manu- 
script essay  on  this  very  subject,  which,  perhaps,  you  will 
favour  me  by  reading  aloud,  allowing  me  to  preface  it  by 
remarking  on  the  precipitancy  with  which  young  people 
often  rush  into  intimacies.  I  am  far  from  desiring  to  en- 
courage in  any  one  a  suspicious  disposition  towards 
strangers,  or  to  inculcate  the  necessity  of  suspecting  obli- 
quity of  character  beneath  a  pleasing  and  amiable  exte- 
rior: but  my  caution  is  directed  against  rashness  in 
judgment ;  nor  would  I  have  you  only  correct  its  decisions 
when  it  weighs  the  merits  of  the  agreeable  in  society. 
You  suffer  it  to  commit  an  injustice  of  equal  magnitude, 
if  you  decide  upon  the  total  absence  of  qualities  worthy 
of  your  esteem,  upon  no  other  grounds  than  perceiving 
awkward  and  rough  manners,  with  an  unpleasing  expression 
of  countenance. 

ON  THE  CHOICE  OF  FRIENDS. 

MRS.  L.— "  It  has  been  said,  *  Show  me  your  friends, 
and  I  will  tell  you  what  you  are.'  We  may  apply  this 
saying  to  our  own  use,  and,  by  the  qualities  which  we  seek 
in  our  friends,  we  may  unveil  to  ourselves  the  bearings  of 
our  own  characters.  If  their  conduct  deviate  generally 
from  the  rule  of  right ;  if  their  tastes  are  perverted  from 
what  is  pure  and  innocent,  and  they  find  pleasure  in  the 
breach  of  morality ;  if  their  sentiments,  as  well  as  their 
conduct,  betray  deficiency  of  principle,  and  their  tempers 
indifference  to  the  welfare  of  others  ;  if,  perceiving  these 
traits  and  qualities  in  them,  we  still  court  and  enjoy  their 
society,  repose  confidence  in  their  judgment,  and  rely  ou 
the  constancy  of  their  regard  for  us,  we  may  assure  our- 
selves that  our  tastes,  also,  are  neither  pure  nor  innocent : 
that  xve  are  neither  firm  in  principle,  nor  Tvise  in  our  deci- 


24  ON  THE  CHOICE  OF  FRIENDS. 

sions  ;  but  are  profaning  the  name  of  friendship,  and 
denying  ourselves  its  true  enjoyment.  Upright  and  vir- 
tuous characters,  and  persons  of  a  genuine  taste,  seek  con 
genial  qualities  in  their  associates,  and  having  found  them, 
their  mutual  esteem  and  regard  become  firmly  implanted ; 
and  as  long  as  they  continue  each  intrinsically  the  same, 
their  friendship  remains  unshaken  either  by  the  storms  of 
adversity,  or  by  those  minor  frailties  which  still  must 
cling  to  human  nature.  Such  friendships  are  our  joy  in 
prosperity,  and  our  solace  in  seasons  of  grief  and  misfor- 
tune. Intimacies,  misnamed  friendships,  when  founded  on 
a  less  worthy  basis,  may  please  the  fancy  for  a  time,  but 
can  afford  no  permanent  satisfaction ;  for  where  mutual 
esteem  and  confidence  cannot  subsist,  lasting  pleasure 
refuses  to  dwell. 

"A  true  friend  must  be  untarnished  by  vicious  pursuits, 
bis  soul  displayed  in  the  uprightness  of  his  actions,  and  in 
the  simplicity  of  his  demeanour.  His  benevolence  should 
not  consist  merely  in  acts  of  charity  or  beneficence,  but 
should  pervade  his  sentiments,  and  influence  his  judgment 
in  regarding  the  conduct  of  his  fellow-creatures.  If  he  is 
consistent  in  his  expectations,  and  ambitious  chiefly  of  dis- 
tinction in  virtue,  his  temper  will  be  untried  by  many  of 
the  mortifications  which  beset  the  misjudging  and  worldly 
minded.  If  he  is  willing  also  (not  inconsistently  with 
judgment  and  prudence)  to  stretch  forth  an  assisting  hand 
to  save  his  friends  when  sinking  under  the  trials  of  adver- 
sity, he  is  worthy  of  our  high  regard  ;  nor  should  we  deem 
the  sacrifice  of  every  uncongenial  propensity  in  ourselves 
as  too  great,  if  it  enable  us  to  form  with  him  a  compact  of 
mutual  esteem  and  regard. 

"  Such  are  the  qualities  and  characteristics  of  him  whom 
we  should  desire  for  our  friend.  That  friendships  are 
nften  interrupted  by  dissension,  sometimes  utterly  destroyed, 
must  be  attributed  to  the  disqualifications  and  imperfections 
of  the  parties  themselves.  Thus  it  is  in  many  things : 


ON  THE  CHOICE  OF  FRIENDS.  26 

Providence  supplies  us  with  blessings  and  the  means  of 
enjoyment,  which  our  frailties  alone  either  annul  or  diminish 
in  value. 

"  There  are,  however,  other  obstacles  to  the  permanent 
enjoyment  of  true  friendship,  which,  although  still  attribu- 
table to  human  imperfection,  are  such  as  we  cannot  reason- 
ably expect  to  surmount ;  and  which,  in  the  formation  of 
our  friendships,  we  should,  if  possible,  avoid  encountering. 
Of  these  impediments,  great  inequality  of  rank  and  fortune 
may  be  first  considered. 

"  It  is  true,  that  friendships,  apparently  sincere  in  their 
outset,  have  been  frequently  formed  between  those  of 
unequal  stations  in  society.  But  their  unbroken  continu- 
ance has  always  depended  upon  the  peculiar  excellence  of 
each  party.  It  can  rarely  happen  that  individuals,  whose 
earliest  years  have  been  under  directly  opposite  influ- 
ences, can  perfectly  assimilate  with  each  other  in  opinion, 
prejudice,  and  habit.  Each  having  different  spheres  of 
action  to  call  their  powers  into  play,  and  different  views 
and  objects  in  life,  can  scarcely  judge  accurately  of  the 
proprieties  which  belong  to  their  opposite  ranks,  so  as  to 
give  each  to  the  other  good  counsel  when  in  circumstances 
of  doubt  or  of  difficulty.  This  alone  would  touch  a  vital 
principle  of  true  friendship,  namely,  mutual  confidence  in 
each  other's  judgment 

"  Should  the  friend  of  superior  rank  betray  any  mark 
of  contempt  for  the  station  filled  by  the  other,  their  friend- 
ship would  certainly  be  shaken,  because  we  can  scarcely 
avoid  identifying  ourselves  with  the  rank  we  hold,  nor 
divest  our  minds  of  the  persuasion,  that  if  that  is  despised, 
we,  too,  share  a  similar  portion  of  contempt.  Resentment, 
and  subsequent  estrangement,  must  ensue.  Indeed,  the 
nature  of  his  friendship  would  be  equivocal,  who  could 
brook  contempt  from  one  whom  he  himself  held  in  esteem. 
Whatever  destroys  the  feeling  of  equality  between  friends, 
must  weaken  the  bonds  that  unite  them.  Even  the  muni- 
3 


26  ON  THE  CHOICE  OF  FRIENDS. 

ficence  of  a  friend  may  in  some  cases  have  this  effect. 
It  opens  a  debtor  and  creditor  account,  which,  perhaps, 
is  not  to  be  closed  until  the  debtor  has  relinquished  his 
independence  of  opinion  and  sentiment,  and  his  own  free 
agency  in  all  his  concerns.  The  obliged  friend  has  some- 
times no  alternative  but  to  be  termed  ungrateful,  or  to 
become  time-serving. 

"  Disproportion  in  age  is  not  always  a  favourable  cir- 
cumstance in  friendship.  It  is  desirable  that  the  young 
should  have  the  benefit  of  the  experience  of  age ;  yet, 
from  feelings  peculiar  to  each  of  these  stages  of  life,  great 
intimacy  seldom  subsists  between  them,  without  frequent 
interruptions  to  its  friendly  course.  The  aged  expect 
deference  from  the  young,  both  in  manners  and  opinions ; 
and  the  young,  presumptuous  and  inconsiderate,  are  not 
always  willing  to  show  it.  The  old  think  and  act  in 
unison  with  a  generation  passing  away,  and  the  young, 
although  reaping  much  from  the  wisdom  and  acquisitions 
in  knowledge  of  that  generation,  still  cannot,  nor  ought, 
to  tread  undeviatingly  in  the  paths  of  their  forefathers. 
Superior  light  appears  to  break  in  upon  them,  but,  in 
diffusing  this,  they  do  not  always  evince  sufficient  regard 
for  the  prejudices  of  older  minds.  The  declining  genera- 
tion consider  the  young  as  rash,  who,  in  return,  regard  the 
opinions  of  their  elders  as  mere  prejudice. 

"  Besides  these  points  of  difference,  the  pursuits  of  each 
naturally  separate  them.  The  one  takes  its  pleasures  from 
passive  circumstances,  and  in  rest  rather  than  in  active 
employments,  while  the  state  of  the  other  demands  the 
constant  exercise  of  its  energies  both  physical  and  mental. 

"  Inequality  of  mental  endowment  is  another  bar  to  the 
formation  of  friendship.  Commiseration  may  influence 
an  individual  of  superior  intellect  in  his  conduct  towards 
one  of  weaker  parts  and  judgment,  and  may  prompt  him 
to  perform  every  good  office  of  friendly  regard.  But  a 
free,  equal  intercourse  of  mind  cannot  subsist  between 


FRIENDSHIPS.  $7 

j 

them ;  the  one  would  be  perpetually  disappointed  by  the 
deficiency  in  the  apprehension  of  the  other,  who,  on  his 
part,  would  be  unable  to  appreciate  his  value,  or  to  enter 
into  his  pleasures. 

"  Such  are  among  the  hinderances  to  the  formation  and 
continuance  of  perfect  friendship  ;  and  their  enumeration 
leads  us  to  the  melancholy  conclusion,  that  it  is  a  blessing 
rarely,  to  be  enjoyed  while  we  wear  the  garb  of  mortality. 
That  which  will  partake  of  most  of  its  characteristics  must 
be  established  upon  the  rock  of  moral  worth ;  and,  as  far 
as  it  can  be,  secured,  upon  equality  in  rank  and  fortune, 
in  years  and  in  intellect." 

MRS.  L. — After  all  the  principles  we  may  lay  down  on 
this  important  subject,  it  requires  considerable  firmness  to 
adhere  to  them.  I  have  known  intimacies  contracted  in 
opposition  to  the  dictates  of  the  judgment,  merely  for  want 
of  the  spirit  of  resistance  to  petty  influences  and  circum- 
stances ;  which  is,  I  think,  frequently  the  reason  that  trifles 
turn  the  scale  against  judgment.  But  I  will  now  request 
you  to  tell  me  how  far  you  approve  of  friendships  formed 
between  married  women  and  the  opposite  sex  ? 

MRS.  B. — To  mark  the  degree  of  intimacy  which  may 
subsist  with  the  male  sex,  where  there  is  no  near  relation- 
ship, propriety  has  formed  a  boundary  which  no  woman, 
who  places  a  proper  value  on  her  own  good  report,  will 
attempt  to  pass.  It  is  true,  she  may  pique  herself  on  her 
innocence  and  purity  of  thought,  ai>d  commence  an  impru- 
dent war  against  appearances  ;  but  she  ought  to  be  aware 
that  the  knowledge  alone  of  acting  against  appearances 
must,  inevitably,  injure  that  very  purity  of  thought  which 
she  prides  herself  in  possessing.  If  female  intimacies  arc 
sometimes  objectionable  to  the  husband,  those  with  the 
other  sex  cannot  but  be  peculiarly  so,  because  there  is  a 
danger  in  them,  which  tends  to  deprive  him  of  the  ex- 
clusive preference  he  has  a  right  to  expect  from  his  wife. 
Such  intimacies,  then,  duty  and  propriety  both  forbid ; 


28  CORRESPONDENCE. 

and  many,  originally  well-intentioned  women,  would  have 
been  spared  degradation  from  happiness  and  honour,  had 
they  reposed  with  less  confidence  on  themselves,  and  not 
ventured  beyond  the  limits  sanctioned  by  the  world  ;  ex- 
perience having  often  demonstrated  that  their  extension 
is  productive  of  misery  to  individuals,  and  of  mischief  to 
society. 

MRS.  L. — But  are  all  previous  intimacies  with  the  other 
sex  to  be  finally  dropped,  the  moment  a  woman  bestows 
her  hand  at  the  altar  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly  not.  But  all  communications  with 
the  other  sex  must  be  carried  on  with  the  confidence  and 
full  approbation  of  the  husband.  A  married  lady  may 
even  continue  a  correspondence  with  an  unmarried  gentle- 
man, provided  her  husband  be  a  tacit  party  to  all  the  com- 
munications of  such  an  intercourse.  But  unless  a  peculiar 
tie  render  it  desirable  to  continue  such  a  correspondence, 
commenced  before  marriage,  I  cannot  but  recommend 
that  it  should  be  given  up  after  marriage,  lest  its  continu- 
ance should  engender  unpleasant  suspicions  in  the  hus- 
band's mind,  which  seldom  fail  to  create  herious  inconve- 
niences, and  mortify  and  degrade  a  woman  even  in  her 
own  eyes.  Perhaps  the  character  of  the  individual  with 
whom  she  corresponds,  and  the  circumstances  which  gave 
rise  to  the  friendship  which  subsists  between  him  and  her- 
self, may  render  it  difficult  to  adopt  more  distant  conduct 
towards  him.  In  this  case,  her  husband  should  also  be- 
come intimately  acquainted  with  the  causes  of  the  intimacy, 
that  his  mind  may  be  fortified  against  the  inroads  of  jeal- 
ousy by  entire  approbation  of  the  line  of  conduct  she 
pursues. 

MRS.  L.— Well  1  there  is  more  liberality  in  these  senti- 
ments than  I  was  led  to  expect ;  and,  as  such  is  the  case, 
surely  there  can  be  no  objection  to  the  continuance  of  the 
closest  correspondence  with  her  own  family  connections  ? 
]\fRS.  B.— Marriage  affords  no  reason  why  the  corres- 


CORRESPONDENCE.  29 

pondence  between  family-connections  should  be  suffered 
to  languish. 

MRS.  L. — But,  if  a  newly-married  lady  happens  to  be 
at  a  great  distance  from  her  family-connections,  how  far 
is  it  proper,  or  essential  in  reference  to  her  new  character, 
to  maintain  with  them  an  extensive  epistolary  correspond- 
ence ?  Would  it  not  very  much  interfere  with  her  do- 
mestic duties  ? 

MRS.  B. — After  marriage  various  may  be  the  impedi- 
ments in  the  way  of  personal  intercourse  with  relations  and 
friends,  and  but  for  the  communication  which  writing  affords, 
we  should  lose  a  source  of  happiness  arising  from  keeping 
up  an  interest  in  their  welfare.  Still,  an  extensive  corres- 
pondence cannot  be  continued  after  marriage,  consistently 
with  the  increased  duties  in  which  domestic  concerns  and 
good  neighbourhood  involve  many  married  women.  The 
constant  locomotion  these  require  tends  to  destroy  also  the 
relish  for  such  tacit  conversation,  and  for  the  still  life 
which,  in  idea,  an  absent  spot  presents,  and  which  are 
opposed  to  the  active  scenes  and  employments  in  which 
tb»-iqarried  woman  finds  herself  called  upon  to  take  her 
shaMr  It  may,  therefore,  seem  needless  to  guard  her 
against  ';he  attempt  to  carry  on  an  extensive  correspondence ; 
a  few  months  may,  perhaps,  see  it  gradually  diminished, 
and  her  letters  become,  "  like  angel  visits,  few  and  far 
between,"  until  they  cease  altogether.  As  it  is  not,  how- 
ever, pleasant  to  incur  the  charge  of  "  changeableness" 
and  "  forgetful  ness,"  to  which  this  natural  death  of  her 
correspondence  would  render  her  liable,  the  young  mar- 
ried woman  should  select  a  chosen  few  from  among  those 
friends,  whom  sterling  qualities  render  valuable,  and 
whose  friendship  she  may  hope  to  retain  to  the  end  of 
her  life. 

In  a  pecuniary  point  of  view,  also,  an  extensive  corres- 
pondence may  prove  a  serious  evil  in  the  marriage-state 
It  is  one  of  those  enjoyments  which,  however  agreeable, 


SO  CONFIDENCE. 

is  not  essential ;  and  a  wife  is  not  less  responsible  fof 
squandering  money,  under  certain  circumstances,  on  the 
trifling  gossiping  of  an  extensive  epistolary  correspond- 
ence, than  in  the  purchase  of  superfluous  ornaments.  No 
postage  can  be  regarded  as  extravagant,  when  it  is  the 
means  of  conveying  intelligence  of  the  welfare  of  our  re- 
lations and  friends  ;  but  to  a  man  of  limited  income  the 
expense  of  daily  packets  addressed  to  his  wife,  which 
contain  nothing  but  common-place  remarks,  or  every-day 
news,  is  both  an  oppressive  and  injurious  tax. 

MRS.  L. — Is  it  necessary  that  a  married  woman  should 
permit  her  letters  to  be  opened  by  her  husband  ? 

MRS.  B. — A  sensible  man,  who  hos  confidence  in  the 
prudence  of  his  wife,  will  have  no  desire  to  assume  that 
privilege  which  his  situation  as  a  husband  confers  upon 
him  ;  nor  to  infringe  on  the  sacredness  of  her  correspo  id- 
ence.  The  slightest  tincture  of  suspicion  is  incompatible 
with  the  mutual  happiness  of  a  husband  and  wife.  A 
married  woman,  therefore,  although  her  husband  may  not 
desire  it,  should  voluntarily  place  her  lettei-s  in  his  hards, 
feeling  that  in  so  doing  she  is  merely  sharing  with  lmiv..he 
pleasure  they  may  bestow,  or  alleviating  the  poiga*Jcy 
of  grief  their  intelligence  may  impart  to  her.  It  is  always 
preferable,  however,  for  both  parties  to  hold  the  corres- 
pondence of  the  other  sacred,  and  not  even  to  desire  to 
become  a  party  in  it. 

MRS.  L. — But  I  should  suppose  it  impossible  for  a 
married  woman  to  have  a  correspondence  which  should 
be  concealed,  under  any  circumstances,  from  her  husband  ? 
r  MRS.  B. — It  is  certainly  more  advisable  to  have  none 
which  he  cannot  inspect ;  but  circumstances  may  arise, 
in  the  progress  of  life,  to  involve  the  married  woman  in  a 
correspondence  in  which  it  might  not  be  proper  to  make 
her  husband  a  party.  A  letter  may  convey  to  her  commu- 
nications relative  to  an  early  friend  or  acquaintance,  which 
are  confidentially  imparted  to  her.  Under  these  circum- 


CONFIDENCE.  31 

stances,  though  she  might  not  be  willing  to  betray  the 
confidence  of  her  friend,  she  ought  to  satisfy  the  mind  of 
her  husband,  with  sufficient  reasons  for  not  being  more 
explicit  towards  him.  If  she  can  convince  him  that  the 
correspondence  has  no  reference  to  herself,  but  relates  to 
the  private  concerns  of  her  friend,  it  will  scarcely  be  suffi- 
cient to  excite  any  interest  in  his  mind,  or  to  create  the 
slightest  suspicion  unfavourable  towards  his  wife. 

MRS.  L. — But  should  a  husband  desire  to  read  a  confi- 
dential letter,  would  a  woman  be  justified  in  refusing  it? 

MRS.  B. — Not  at  all.  The  first  object  of  every  woman 
in  married  life  should  be  the  happiness  of  her  husband,  as 
connected  with  her  own  ;  therefore  any  concealment,  in 
which  he  does  not  concur,  should  be  avoided.  And  if 
there  be  a  proper  understanding  between  them,  it  can 
scarcely  be  considered  as  a  breach  of  trust,  should  the 
wife  think  fit  to  confide  the  secret  of  her  friend  to  her 
husband  ;  nor  should  any  one,  in  making  private  commu- 
nications to  a  married  friend,  expect  or  demand  more 
from  her  than  a  conditional  promise  of  silence  towards 
her  husband. 

MRS.  L. — I  perceive,  however,  that  the  comfort  of 
married  life  may  be  disturbed  by  any  reserve  towards  a 
husband,  even  though  on  subjects  that  have  no  connection 
with  the  family  circle. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  very  true  ;  and  yet  it  is  almost  impos- 
sible to  avoid  it  in  every  case.  But,  if  mutual  confidence 
subsisted  between  the  married,  its  inconveniences  would 
be  lessened :  neither  of  them  would  then  suspect  the  other 
of  sharing  any  confidence  of  an  injudicious  nature,  or  any 
that  would  be  likely  to  bring  trouble  into  the  family  circle. 
The  propriety  of  maintaining  such  a  reserve  towards  a 
husband,  depends  chiefly  upon  the  nature  of  the  confidence 
reposed  by  the  friend.  If  it  have  no  relation  to  her  own 
concerns,  and  if  she  is  merely  the  depositary  of  a  secret 
communication,  and  not  employed  as  an  active  agent  in  it, 


32  CHOICE  OP 

there  may  not  be  much  inconvenience  attending  it  But 
if  called  upon  to  act  and  assist,  reserve  towards  her  hus- 
band should  then  cease  ;  for  I  can  perceive  but  few  things 
in  which  she  could,  unknown  to  her  husband,  assist  her 
friend,  without  practising  some  degree  of  duplicity.  Let 
me  therefore  advise  you  to  decline  participating  in  the 
confidence  of  any  one  who  would  require  your  assistance 
unknown  to  your  husband. 


CONVERSATION   III. 

HEW  ACQUAINTANCES,  CHOICE  OF. — DESCRIPTION  OF  PEO- 
PLE TO  BE  AVOIDED. — GOSSIPING. — SCANDAL. — FLAT- 
TERY. 

MRS.  L. — How  is  a  lady  who  settles  at  a  distance  from 
tier  own  family-connections  to  select  her  acquaintance  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  are  not  many  women  who  have  the 
power  to  select  their  acquaintance  after  marriage.  Most 
commonly  they  must  enter,  without  much  discrimination, 
into  the  circle  in  which  marriage  places  them  ;  and  this  is 
particularly  the  case  with  the  wives  of  professional  men, 
whose  interest  it  is,  not  to  be  forgotten  by  those  from  whom 
they  expect  employment,  nor  to  remain  unknown  to  the 
public. 

MRS.  L. — But  are  there  not  some  points  to  be  observed 
in  the  formation  of  an  acquaintance,  which  should  always 
be  firmly  adhered  to? 

MRS.  B.— There  are  several.  Thus,  it  is  evident,  that 
those  whose  characters  and  conduct  stand  impeached  ot 
any  thing  dishonourable  should  never  be  adaiitted  into 
good  society.  This  should  be  a  rule  with  every  one,  of 


NEW  ACQUAINTANCES.  S3 

which  neither  interest,  policy,  nor  even  the  pleadings  of 
pity,  should  induce  the  neglect.  As  general  security  and 
good  order  require  that  the  transgressors  of  the  law  of  the 
land  should  pay  its  penalties,  so  the  purity  and  comfort  of 
society  depend  upon  the  banishment  of  those  who  have 
proved  themselves  unworthy  of  its  sanction.  It  is  true 
the  observance  of  this  rule  may,  sometimes,  deprive  our 
circles  of  wit  and  talents  equally  amusing  and  instructive  ; 
but  wit  and  talents,  unaccompanied  by  moral  worth,  allure 
to  danger.  If  the  young  view  the  vicious  with  approba- 
tion, half  the  barrier,  in  their  minds,  between  right  and 
wrong,  is  broken  down  •  and  an  inlet  made  to  more  serious 
attacks  on  innocence  and  on  virtuous  principles. 

MRS.  L. — Is  not  this  rule  of  exclusion  likely  to  check 
the  desire  of  many  to  quit  the  paths  of  vice  and  dishonour  ; 
or  to  throw  within  the  shade  of  melancholy  those  who, 
but  for  one  unfortunate  step,  might  have  ranked  with  the 
innocent  and  happy  ? 

MRS.  B. — Your  remark  is  just :  but,  still,  we  must  bear 
in  mind,  that  repentance  is  not  genuine  unless  it  have  a 
higher  aim  than  merely  to  be  restored  to  the  world's  ap- 
probation. The  world  has  no  power  to  heal  the  wounds 
of  the  mind,  therefore  its  acts  of  grace,  in  restoring  the 
fallen  to  his  place  in  society,  would  be  useless  as  well  as 
pernicious.  He  who  has  fallen  by  his  own  misdemean- 
ours, must  be  a  warning  to  others,  and  pay,  by  exclusion 
from  unspotted  society,  the  penalty  for  his  transgressions. 
Men  practise  this  exclusion,  in  the  most  rigid  manner, 
towards  individuals  of  their  own  sex  who  have  failed  in 
the  observance  of  those  principles  of  conduct  which,  in 
polite  society,  are  regarded  as  essential  to  constitute  the 
gentleman  and  man  of  honour ;  and,  this  being  the  case, 
how  much  more  necessary  is  it  for  virtuous  women  to 
refuse  to  admit  into  their  society  those  who  have  forfeited 
that  character !  Were  this  barrier  broken  down,  the  female 
world  would  lose  that  well-merited  homage  which  it  now 


34  CHOICE  OF 

receives  from  men ;  and,  like  fallen  angels,  become  more 
contemptible  by  a  comparison  between  their  degraded 
state  and  their  prior  purity.  I  knew  Alicia,  who  was  the 
admiration  of  every  eye  for  the  beauty  and  the  symmetry 
of  her  person  ;  and  eminently  calculated  to  be  the  fasci- 
nating centre  of  every  company,  for  the  liveliness  of  her 
manners,  the  sweetness  of  her  temper,  and  the  brilliancy 
of  her  wit ;  but,  nevertheless,  she  was  the  most  wretched 
of  her  sex.  I  have  seen  her  at  an  assembly,  leaning  upon 
the  arm  of  a  man  of  rank,  pass  through  the  room,  and 
cast  a  look  of  ineffable  contempt  upon  the  other  females 
of  the  party ;  and  yet,  when  the  artificial  spirits,  which 
the  occasion  and  the  situation  had  excited,  subsided,  and 
she  found  herself  alone  in  her  apartment,  she  would  burst 
into  tears,  sink  into  a  fit  of  despondency,  and  envy  the 
plainest  and  most  neglected  female  in  the  party  she  had 
quitted.  The  truth  was,  that  Alicia  had,  unfortunately, 
deviated  from  the  path  of  rectitude,  the  strict  observance 
of  which  alone  can  gain  respect  to  the  female  character  ; 
and  found,  from  sad  experience,  that  the  very  men  who 
flocked  around  her  in  public,  pouring  out  the  incense  of 
flattery  to  her  beauty,  and  sacrificing  at  the  shrine  of  her 
talents,  withdrew  their  wives  and  daughters  from  her 
society,  as  if  from  a  source  of  contamination :  and  thus 
shut  out  from  the  fellowship  of  the  spotless  part  of  her 
own  sex,  she  felt  the  worm  ever  gnawing  a  heart  which, 
if  it  had  remained  innocent,  was  fitted  to  have  been  the 
seat  of  the  most  enviable  felicity. 

MRS.  L. — I  trust  such  situations  are  rare,  and  that  the 
hand  of  mercy  is  extended,  even  in  this  world,  to  the 
penitent.  But,  independent  of  the  obstacles  arising  from 
deviations  from  virtue,  what  other  circumstances  of  con- 
duct should  prevent  a  newly -married  woman  from  seeking, 
or  accepting,  the  acquaintance  of  her  neighbours  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  are  some  propensities  over  which 
society  has  little  control,  although  they  are  frequently 


IfEW  ACQUAINTANCES.  35 

found  to  be  mischievous  and  vexatious.  Of  such  are  the 
love  of  scandal,  gossiping,  and  ridicule.  All  that  can  be 
done  towards  checking  their  progress  in  society  must  be 
by  the  force  of  example,  and  by  making  those  who  are 
addicted  to  them  aware,  that  their  company  would  be 
more  welcome  were  their  conversation  of  a  higher  stamp. 
It  would,  perhaps,  appear  an  assumption  of  too  great  su- 
periority were  a  young  married  iady  to  profess  an  intention 
to  exclude  from  her  society  such  delinquents  as  the  scandal- 
monger and  gossip  ;  but  if  she  feel  obliged  to  tolerate  them 
among  her  acquaintance,  she  need  not  select  them  for  her 
friends.  Intimacies  with  them  would  be  ill-advised,  and 
might  be  dangerous.  No  degree  of  intimacy  can  insure 
safety  with  the  genuine  lover  of  scandal.  By  such  per- 
sons any  circumstance  that  may  serve  as  the  basis  of  a 
good  story,  or  that  may  find  an  interest  in  the  malignant 
propensities  of  others,  is  carefully  hindered  from  smoulder- 
ing and  perhaps  dying  away  for  want  of  a  free  circulation 
and  current.  It  is  very  seldom,  too,  that  a  story  gains 
nothing  in  its  course,  and  what  was  of  pigmy  birth  grows 
quickly  in  its  progress  through  any  circle  to  gigantic  stature. 
Were  it  truth  only  that  is  thus  passed  on  from  house  to 
house,  scandal  would  soon  cease  ;  for  truth,  admitting  of 
no  variation  in  the  nature  of  its  circumstances,  would  not 
afford  it  sufficient  nourishment. 

MRS.  L. — 1  think  I  have  remarked  among  those  whom 
I  could  not  charge  with  any  decided  propensity  to  blunder, 
extreme  carelessness  regarding  the  reputation  of  their  ac- 
quaintance. 1  have  heard  them  mention,  with  no  spirit  of 
unkindness,  but  from  inconsideration,  or  from  the  love  of 
talking,  circumstances  and  reports  resting  on  slight  basis, 
and  yet  of  such  a  nature  as  to  convey  very  injurious  im- 
pressions of  the  parties  concerned.  Is  not  such  conduct 
highly  censurable  ? 

MRS.  B.— Without  doubt.  In  proportion  to  the  desire 
\ve  have  to  avert  unjust  reproach  from  ourselves,  should 


36  CHOICE  OP 

be  our  solicitude  to  avoid  fixing  it  undeservedly  upon 
another,  particularly  upon  a  woman,  whose  name,  if  once ' 
sullied,  is  so  irrecoverably.  Sometimes  an  injurious  report 
is  handed  about,  and  after  circulating-  and  gaining  credit 
a  contradiction  comes  out,  telling  you  th^t  the  whole  is  a 
calumny.  But  who  will  pretend  to  say  that  no  mischiel 
is  done,  and  that  the  contradiction  will  extend  as  far  as  the 
story,  or  will  gain  as  ready  a  belief?  It  may  often  hap- 
pen, that  upon  such  grounds  an  innocent  woman  for  the 
rest  of  her  days  is  regarded  by  her  acquaintance  with 
suspicion,  and  her  society  consequently  avoided. 

We  are  not,  however,  to  confound  scandal  with  just 
censure  and  discrimination.  We  may  sometimes  be  called 
upon  to  express  an  opinion  respecting  the  character  and 
conduct  of  individuals,  and  if  we  feel  assured  that  censure 
is  deserved,  we  must  not  withhold  it,  lest  we  neglect  the 
cause  of  morality.  But  in  doing  this,  we  may  be  careful 
not  to  exceed  justice,  nor  to  speak  with  more  than  requisite 
severity. 

MRS.  L. — But  as  scandal  is  not  confined  to  the  weaker 
sex,  how  is  a  lady  to  discriminate  the  characters  of  the 
gentlemen  who  may  visit  at  her  house  ? 

MRS.  B. — By  their  chosen  pursuits,  and  by  the  tenour 
of  their  conversation,  some  knowledge  may  be  attained 
of  the  character  of  those  who  form  a  part  of  our  society. 
If  they  are  known  to  discharge  their  various  obligations 
honourably  and  judiciously;  if  they  devote  some  portion 
of  their  time  to  the  acquisition  of  knowledge  ;  if  their 
sentiments  on  all  important  subjects  do  not  offend  against 
morality ;  and  if  their  conversation  is  free  from  levity  and 
folly — there  can  be  little  doubt  of  their  being  entitled  to 
a  favourable  reception  in  society.  But  when  the  chief 
study  of  men  appears  to  be  the  fashions  of  the  day,  and 
their  highest  ambition  is  to  be  of  ton ;  when  they  would 
rather  relinquish  right  principles,  and  adopt  any  folly,  than 
sin  against  the  laws  of  fashion;  when  frivolity  marks 


NEW  ACQUAINTANCES.  37 

their  pursuits,  and  selfishness  their  conduct,  you  will  be 
justified  in  excluding  such  from  an  intimate  footing  in  your 
circle,  although  there  may  be  circumstances  which  compel 
you  to  admit  them  among  your  acquaintance.  A  formal 
intercourse  is  all  such  men  deserve,  which,  like  the  gauze 
curtains  used  in  Indian  climates  to  exclude  annoying  in- 
sects, will  prevent  their  society  from  proving  an  incon- 
venience. But,  unfortunately,  fashion  has  more  sway  in 
the  regulations  of  society  than  good  taste  and  propriety ; 
and  in  your  intercourse  with  the  world,  you  will  often  en- 
counter the  weakest  and  most  worthless  men,  who  are  not 
only  admitted,  but  even  sought  after  and  welcomed  every 
where,  because  they  are  fashionable,  and  because  their 
names,  not  their  accomplishments,  give  €clat  to  the  parties 
they  frequent. 

It  has  been  a  common  reflection  upon  women,  that  they 
are  ever  ready  to  encourage  all  the  derelictions  from  good 
taste  and  wisdom  which  fashion  may  prescribe,  and  to 
their  influence,  the  folly  and  consequent  insignificance  in 
society  of  many  a  young  man  has  been  attributed.  Cer- 
tainly, if  such  folly  were  not  supposed  to  be  admired,  and 
to  gain  distinction,  it  would  have  fewer  votaries. 

MRS.  L. — Let  us  hope  for  a  brighter  era  in  the  history 
of  society,  when  the  improved  taste  of  the  female  world 
will  assert  an  influence  in  discountenancing  eccentricity, 
affectation,  and  folly,  by  whatever  name  supported ;  and 
in  ranking  wisdom  and  virtue  on  the  side  of  fashion. 

MRS.  B.— -On  one  point,  however,  we  may  ki  this  age 
boast  of  improvement.  The  unmeaning  compliments 
which  were  formerly  paid  to  women,  and  considered  as 
forming  the  only  species  of  conversation  that  could  be 
palatable  to  them,  are  now  become  unfashionable,  and 
even  absurd.  Most  women  of  the  present  day,  were  they 
so  complimented,  would  probably  suspect  themselves  to  be 
objects  of  ridicule  rather  than  of  admiration.  Y"et  although 
open  and  gross  flattery  can  now  seldom  please,  there  are 
4 


38  CHOICE  OF  ACQUAINTANCES. 

kinds  of  a  more  specious  and  hidden  form,  which  are  too 
often  acceptable.  These  are  not  unfrequently  the  instru- 
ments of  designing  characters,  and  employed  under  the 
semblance  of  friendship  and  esteem  to  gain  confidence 
for  some  sinister  end.  Sometimes  the  ambition  of  a  low 
mind  is  to  rise  into  notice  by  mean  subservience  to  a  supe- 
rior, and  flattering  his  weaknesses  to  gain  his  point  by 
making  his  patron  his  dupe.  But  the  love  of  flattery, 
besides  rendering  us  dupes  of  the  most  contemptible  arts, 
is  in  itself  injurious.  The  mind  accustomed  to  adulation, 
is  like  the  body  when  fed  upon  too  high  and  luxurious  an 
aliment.  It  becomes  diseased,  and  cannot  afterwards  en- 
dure the  plain  language  of  sincerity.  The  true  fr>end  is 
often  neglected,  or  coldly  treated,  and  preference  shown 
to  any,  however  unworthy,  who  are  willing  to  give,  in 
sufficient  quantity,  the  only  food  welcome  to  self-love. 
Mental  infirmities  receive  no  check  from  such  nourish- 
ment :  the  taste  and  feelings  become  depraved,  and  added 
years,  instead  of  witnessing  improvement  in  character, 
only  bring  to  light  defects  and  failings  cherished  and  mul- 
tiplied under  the  baneful  influence  of  flattery. 

Women  who  are  gossips,  are  generally  flatterers.  They 
discover  the  weak  side  of  every  one  with  whom  they  as- 
sociate ;  and  in  administering  incense  to  self-love,  obtain 
the  possession  of  secrets  under  the  mask  of  confidence, 
which  they  are  impatient  to  impart  to  the  whole  circle  in 
which  they  move.  Such  women  are  dangerous  in  propor- 
tion as  they  are  insinuating :  like  the  Circean  cup,  their 
noxious  qualities  are  not  discovered  until  the  poison  ha- 
touched  the  vitals. 


CONVERSATION   IV. 

CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS  ; — ADVICE  FROM  ;  WHEN  AND 
HOW  TO  BE  RECEIVED  ;  WHEN  TO  BE  REJECTED. — THE 
GOOD  OPINION  OF  RELATIONS  ESSENTIAL  TO  HAPPINESS. 

MRS.  L. — The  proper  attention  to  be  paid  to  the  claims 
of  relationship,  presents  a  subject  for  consideration  of 
great  moment  to  the  newly-married  female :  for  peace 
and  goo'  will  cannot  be  destroyed  among  relations  without 
a  serious  interruption  to  happiness.  A  family  feud  is  like 
an  incurable  wound.  How  is  this  to  be  avoided  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  first  year  of  a  woman's  married  life  is 
not  always  most  free  from  vexations  and  troubles.  She 
carries  into  one  family  the  prejudices  and  the  habits  of 
another,  which  sometimes  prove  so  different,  as  to  cause 
the  task  of  assimilating  herself,  in  her  new  character,  to 
those  with  whom  she  is  henceforth  to  dwell,  to  be  both 
painful  and  difficult.  If  she  be  solicitous  to  promote 
unanimity  between  her  new  connections  and  herself,  she 
will,  perhaps,  examine,  how  far  she  can  yield  to  their  pre- 
judices, and  in  what  degree  she  ought  to  maintain  her 
own.  By  yielding  a  little,  she  makes,  at  least,  her  road 
smoother,  if  she  do  not  thereby  lay  the  foundation  of 
esteem  and  affection,  not  to  be  shaken  for  the  future,  by 
any  trifling  cause. 

As  the  happiness  of  the  husband  is  liable  to  interruption, 
and  his  temper  to  be  tried,  by  the  petty  umbrages  and 
irritations  between  his  wife  and  his  relations,  it  is  her  duty, 
and  assuredly  the  best  mode  of  securing  her  own  happi- 
ness, to  endeavour  to  please  them,  so  as  to  engage  their 
affections  if  possible.  A  determination  to  be  pleased  her- 
self, is  half-way  towards  pleasing  them  ;  and  this  may  be 


40  CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS. 

shown  by  her  willingness  to  discover  their  agreeable  traits 
of  character,  rather  than  with  the  critical  penetration  oi 
ill-humour,  to  mark  their  weaknesses  and  errors.  By 
pleasing  manners  at  first,  she  may  secure  herself  a  favour- 
able reception  into  her  husband's  family ;  and,  in  time, 
when  she  has  proved  her  worth,  her  footing  among  them 
will  be  on  a  surer  foundation. 

MRS.  L. — It  happens  not  unfrequently,  that  a  husband 
has  kept  house  before  his  marriage,  and  has  had  his 
domestic  affairs  managed  by  a  maiden  sister ;  and  circum- 
stances may  exist  to  render  her  continuance  in  the  family 
requisite.  How  is  the  young  married  lady  to  act  in  such 
a  case  ? 

MRS.  B. — No  situation  in  which  a  young  married  female 
can  be  placed,  demands  greater  circumspection.  In  as- 
suming the  entire  management  of  her  household,  which 
should  be  immediately  done  on  entering  into  it,  she  must 
37ield,  at  first,  in  many  things,  to  the  guidance  of  its  former 
ruler ;  and  even  where  reform  is  necessary,  and  her  own 
opinion  differs  from  that  of  her  sister-in-law,  the  change 
must  be  effected  by  degrees,  and  with  much  delicacy. 
Her  predecessor  may  look  with  a  jealous  eye  upon  ail  her 
transactions ;  and,  unless  she  be  a  woman  of  more  than 
common  prudence  and  amiable  dispositions,  she  will  not 
fail  to  notice  the  failures,  which  she  sees,  or  supposes  she 
sees,  in  the  management  of  the  family.  Every  young  mis- 
tress of  a  family  should  endeavour  to  act  independently, 
by  degrees ;  and  as  soon  as  this  can  be  done,  the  less 
counsel  she  takes,  and  the  more  she  treats  her  sister-in-law 
as  a  visiter  only  in  the  family,  the  greater  will  be  the  pro- 
bability of  preserving  her  esteem,  and  securing  the  general 
comfort  of  the  household. 

MRS.  L.— Suppose  her  predecessor  to  be  the  mother 
of  her  husband. 

MRS.  B. — Still  greater  delicacy  would  then  be  requi- 
site, in  the  attempt  to  obtain  independence.  The  opinions 


CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS.  41 

and  feelings  of  the  mother  of  her  husband  should  not  be 
treated  either  with  indifference  or  contempt,  though  it 
might  be  necessary  to  make  a  firm,  but  a  modest  resistance 
to  some  of  her  prejudices  and  habits.  Good  sense  and 
good  temper  united  may  effect  wonders  under  the  difficul- 
ties which  may  attend  such  an  inmate  ;  and,  indeed,  under 
any  circumstances,  they  are  the  only  means  by  which  a 
permanent  state  of  order  and  comfort  in  a  family  can  be 
established. 

MRS.  L. — What  influence  should  a  lady  allow  her  own 
relations  to  have  in  the  regulation  of  her  family  affairs  ? 
For  instance ;  it  occasionally  happens  that  a  mother,  or  a 
sister,  spends  some  months  with  a  lady  immediately  after 
her  marriage;  and  it  is  next  to  impossible  that  they  should 
avoid  some  interference  in  directing  her  plans,  and  in 
forming  her  arrangements. 

MRS.  B. — Matrimonial  uneasiness  has,  sonic ames,  been 
occasioned,  by  the  undue  influence  maintained  over  the 
mind  of  the  wife  by  the  members  of  her  own  family.  It 
would  be  unnatural,  if  they  did  not  retain  a  part  of  the 
influence,  which  early  habit  has  given ;  but  something 
materially  wrong  must  exist,  both  in  the  wife,  and  in  her 
relations,  when  this  influence  acts  upon  her,  so  as  to  induce 
her  to  oppose,  in  any  way,  the  comfort  of  her  husband. 
The  parent,  in  giving  away  his  daughter  at  the  altar, 
yielded  up  his  right  of  control  over  her,  never  to  be 
exerted  again  in  opposition  to  the  husband,  unless  some 
point  of  peculiar  importance  to  the  welfare  of  both  seem 
to  demand  it. 

MRS.  L.-— Suppose  misunderstandings  arise  between  a 
husband  and  his  wife,  for  you  know,  my  dear  madam, 
such  things  do  occur,  can  a  woman  be  blamed  for  appeal- 
ing to  her  own  relations  ? 

MRS.  B. — Interference  on  the  part  of  relations,  in  the 
case  of  matrimonial  disputes,  is  extremely  injudicious, 

the  effect  of  such  disputes,  would  frequently  be  but  mo- 
4* 


42  CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS. 

mentary  and  slight,  if  all  interference  were  avoided. 
Indeed,  it  displays  a  deficiency  of  sense,  and  is  a  melan- 
choly sacrifice  ot  self-esteem,  in  a  wife,  to  communicate 
to  others  the  failings  of  her  husband,  or  the  subjects  of 
their  disagreement.  It  destroys  the  mutual  trust  which 
must  exist,  or  the  married  state  cannot  be  happy.  Let, 
then,  every  woman  beware,  before  she  exposes  her  hus- 
band's failings  ;  let  her  rather  screen  them  from  observa- 
tion, with  the  same  care  with  which  she  would  wish  her 
own  to  be  veiled.  If  she  does  this,  she  may  never  have 
to  complain  of  injudicious  interference. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  known  instances  of  married  ladies 
stating  their  grievances  to  their  male  friends.  My  opinion 
is,  that  such  conduct  is  very  reprehensible  ;  but  I  am  de- 
sirous of  hearing  from  you,  whose  judgment  is  strengthened 
by  experience,  what  may  be  expected  to  result  from  such 
imprudence  ? 

MRS.  B. — A  woman  can  scarcely  commit  an  act  of 
greater  imprudence,  than  to  impart  to  a  friend  of  the  other 
sex,  the  causes  of  uneasiness  subsisting  between  her  hus- 
band and  herself.  Such  a  confidence  bestowed  upon  a 
man  of  unsteady  principles,  would  expose  her  to  incon- 
veniences of  a  painful  and  degrading  nature.  It  would, 
in  fact,  be  a  tacit  avowal  of  needing  that  protection,  which 
she  ought  alone  to  receive  from  the  very  individual  against 
whom  she  has  lodged  her  appeal ;  and  thus  she  would 
herself  open  the  way  to  attentions  and  advances,  disho- 
nourable to  the  purity  of  her  mind,  and  dangerous  to  her 
character.  When  igporance  of  the  world,  or  a  weak 
understanding  tempts  a  woman  to  such  imprudent  con- 
duct, it  will  be  next  to  a  miracle  if  her  downfal  be  not 
the  result. 

MRS.  L. — Under  what  circumstances  is  advice  to  be 
taken  and  to  be  requested  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  elder  members  of  families  are  often 
disposed  to  fancy  their  juniors  incapable  of  judging  and 


CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS.  43 

acting  for  themselves ;  and,  thence,  urgently  press  their 
opinions  and  advice,  upon  all  occasions,  whether  of  im- 
portance or  of  insignificance  ;  thus  disgusting  where  they 
wished  to  benefit. 

The  young,  on  their  part,  are  generally  too  presumptu- 
ous, and  averse  from  counsel,  which  may  not,  in  their 
opinion,  be  sufficiently  flavoured  by  the  fashions  of  the 
day.  Did  they  consider  that  the  practice  and  opinions 
of  their  seniors  have  borne  the  test  of  experience,  while 
those  of  the  present  time  have  their  value  still  to  be 
proved,  they  would,  perhaps,  be  more  willing  to  pay  the 
proper  tribute  of  respect  and  attention  to  the  advice  that 
may  be  given  to  them ;  and  by  this  they  might  sometimes 
be  spared  the  purchase  of  experience  at  too  dear  a  rate. 

It  is  not,  however,  judicious  to  seek  advice  on  every 
occasion,  or  to  act  upon  it  indiscriminately.  This  would 
show  a  weak  character,  or  tend  to  produce  one.  A  pro- 
per dependence  on  self,  is  essential  to  right  conduct,  and 
where  it  is  wanting,  neither  oral  nor  written  advice  can 
supply  the  deficiency. 

There  are,  however,  many  points,  on  which  a  young 
married  woman  finds  that  her  judgment  needs  the  aid  of 
experience  ;  and  this  will  induce  her  to  ask  for  advice, 
from  the  best  source  within  her  power.  If  very  strict 
regard  to  economy  be  important,  the  experience  of  a  friend 
may  enable  her  to  put  it  into  immediate  practice :  in 
affairs  of  the  nursery,  timely  advice  may  prevent  some 
of  the  grievous  effects  of  ignorance  ;  and  in  the  govern- 
ment of  servants  too,  it  may  often  be  useful,  and  avert 
much  inconvenience ;  for,  to  be  ignorant  in  the  eyes  of 
our  domestics,  is  to  place  ourselves  in  their  power,  the 
effect  of  which  is  shown  by  their  disobedience  and  con- 
tempt. But  on  this  subject,  we  will  speak  more  fully 
hereafter.  On  other  things,  speaking  generally,  it  will  be 
better  to  consult  the  judgment,  and  to  act  according  to  its 
dictates,  than  in  every  moment  of  demur,  to  seek  the 


44  CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS. 

opinion  oi  another.  Errors  of  judgment  may  be  the  con- 
sequence occasionally,  but  with  ripened  years  they  will 
diminish ;  and  the  character  will  acquire  vigour  by  the 
exercise  of  the  judgment,  sufficient  to  compensate  for  a 
few  mistakes.  At  the  commencement  of  any  new  career, 
the  experience  of  our  friends  is  most  advantageous,  but  it 
should  be  regarded  merely  as  a  temporary  assistance ;  like 
that  afforded  to  the  child  when  he  first  attempts  to  walk. 
The  support  should  be  diminished  by  degrees,  as  strength 
and  courage  increase,  till  at  length  we  may  be  left  to  our 
own  pilotage  and  freedom  of  action. 

A  multiplicity  of  advisers  is  very  far  from  desirable. 
It  is  true,  there  may  be  wisdom  in  the  counsel  of  the 
many,  yet,  in  most  cases,  I  would  rather  have  the  opinion 
of  one  sensible  friend  than  that  of  many  others.  To  have 
to  select  from  an  incongruous  mass  of  advice  that  which 
may  appear  to  be  the  best,  sometimes  rather  impedes 
than  assists  the  judgment ;  and  besides  this,,  the  liberty 
of  choosing  is  restrained  by  the  fear  of  offending,  and,  it 
must  be  confessed,  riot  without  reason,  for  very  few  people 
feel  perfectly  complacent  towards  those  who  have  disre- 
garded their  counsel  or  preferred  that  of  another. 

MRS.  L. — There  is  not,  1  think,  any  one  more  trouble- 
some than  the  voluntary  adviser.  I  mean  one  who,  on  all 
petty  matters,  is  in  the  habit  of  pointing  out  to  you  much 
better  plans  than  those  you  have  pursued,  and  who  makes 
you  readily  aware  that  she  is  sure  she  could  arrange  all 
your  family  affairs  much  more  advantageously  than  you 
can  yourself.  1  have  seen  much  vexation  arise  from  this 
foible.  How  may  it  be  parried  without  giving  offence  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  may  be  diiBcult  to  resist  such  a  friendly  ad- 
viser with  discretion,  particularly  if  she  be  nearly  related 
or  connected.  But  that  it  must  be  done  there  can  be  no 
hesitation,  or  you  may  not  be  long  the  mistress  of  your 
house  or  of  your  actions.  Such  a  case  will  require  firm, 
but  not  violent,  opposition,  and  it  is  probable  that  one  01 


CONDUCT  TO  RELATIONS.  45 

two  struggles  will  be  sufficient  to  check  the  habit,  as  far 
as  you  are  concerned  ;  and  if  on  all  other  points  you  con- 
tinue to  manifest  the  kindness  and  regard  you  had  previ- 
ously shown,  perhaps  even  redouble  your  attention,  you 
may  possibly  avoid  incurring  any  continued  resentment  or 
displeasure. 

MRS.  L. — Is  it  not  improper  to  mention  the  occur- 
rences in  one's  family  to  strangers,  unless  advice  be  the 
object  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly ;  nothing  can  be  more  ill  advised. 
The  daily  trifling  occurrences  in  a  family  should  never  be 
known  beyond  the  walls  of  the  house.  It  is  extremely 
injudicious  to  repeat  them ;  and  even  if  they  be  told  to 
relations  and  intimates,  they  frequently  cause  discussions 
of  an  unsatisfactory  nature,  or  entail  a  load  of  advice, 
which  proves  neither  useful  nor  agreeable.  Greater 
events,  either  of  pleasure  or  of  sorrow,  our  friends  have  a 
just  claim  to  know,  and  on  such  occasions  their  sympathy 
gratifies  and  comforts. 

MRS.  L. — What  general  line  of  conduct  should  a  woman 
adopt  in  reference  to  her  husband's  relations? 

MRS.  B. — If  a  woman  endeavour  to  place  her  husband's 
relations  on  the  same  footing,  as  nearly  as  possible,  as  her 
own ;  to  search  for  their  virtues,  and  to  pay  those  virtues 
the  meed  of  esteem ;  to  be  more  than  half-blind  to  their 
weaknesses ;  to  respect  the  opinions  and  feelings  of  the 
senior  members  of  his  family,  while  she  treats  the  younger 
with  affection  and  good-humour,  she  cannot  fail  to  ensure 
towards  herself  a  conduct  in  some  degree  correspondent. 
Her  husband,  too,  will  be  gratified  by  the  attainment  of 
this  family  concord,  especially  if  his  wife  have  conceded 
some  of  her  prejudices  and  habits  to  promote  it.  And  if 
he  be  not  a  selfish  character,  he  will  neglect  no  opportunity 
of  establishing  it  on  the  firmest  foundation. 

The  task  of  conciliating  a  variety  of  tempers,  and  of 
assimilating  ourselves  to  habits  and  modes  of  thinking  to 


46  ON  TEMPER. 

which  we  have  not  been  accustomed,  forms,  sometimes,  a 
perplexing  and  trying  part  of  the  duty  of  married  life ; 
but  they  who  habitually  sacrifice  inclination  to  the  sense  of 
duty,  will  find  even  this  easy  and  tolerable.  As  a  com- 
pensation, they  will  experience  self-approbation,  a  reward 
of  far  higher  value  than  inclination,  when  gratified  at  the 
expense  of  duty,  can  ever  purchase. 


CONVERSATION   V. 

ON  TEMPER,  AS  CONNECTED  WITH  SOCIAL  RELATIONSHIPS 
TOWARDS  A  HUSBAND,  CHILDREN,  SERVANTS,  AND  SO- 
CIETY. 

{     '      ,-•      , 

MRS.  L. — It  requires  but  little  penetration,  and  even 
less  experience,  to  acknowledge  the  importance  of  a  good 
temper  in  the  married  woman ;  but  who  can  advise  her 
how  to  attain  it  ?  We  can  all  eulogize  it ;  but  if  nature 
have  not  laid  its  foundation  within  us,  we  find  advice  but 
an  inefficient  instructer  in  the  art  of  raising  its  superstruc- 
ture. Will  you,  my  dear  madam,  give  me  your  opinion, 
and  afford  me  such  assistance  as  the  nature  of  the  subject 
will  permit  ? 

MRS.  B. — A  good  temper  is  indeed  a  blessing,  not  only 
to  the  individual  who  possesses  it,  but  to  every  being  and 
object  within  its  influence.  It  is  like  a  healthy  atmos- 
phere : — it  promotes  cheerfulness  and  elasticity  of  spirits 
in  all  around ;  and  even  gloomy  and  discontented  dispo- 
sitions can  scarcely  resist  its  happy  power.  But  the  tem- 
per which  casts  this  influence  around  it,  is  not  to  be  con- 
founded with  that  easy  disposition  which  nature  sometimes 
gives,  and  in  which  no  feeling,  either  pleasurable  or 


ON  TEMPER.  47 

painful,  proceeds  beyond  the  point  of  mediocrity.  Such 
a  disposition  may  pass  by  painful  and  vexatious  events 
without  annoying  us  by  fretful  lamentations,  but  it  does  no 
more ;  it  neither  heightens  our  pleasures  nor  lessens  our 
griefs  by  its  sympathy.  It  sheds  no  cheerfulness  around 
it,  and  is  hardly  to  be  considered  as  a  blessing  to  the  pos- 
sessor, since  it  weakens  the  social  feelings  which  connect 
him  with  his  fellow-creatures.  The  temper  I  would  re- 
commend is  to  be  acquired  by  the  aid  of  self-government, 
and  to  be  possessed  by  every  one,  although  perhaps  in 
different  degrees. 

MRS.  L. — But  should  not  the  task  of  regulating  the 
temper  begin  long  before  the  responsibility  of  a  wife  or  a 
mother  commences  ?  Will  not  the  difficulty  then  prove 
too  great,  for  those  whose  tempers  have  been  injured, 
either  by  the  false  indulgence  of  their  parents,  or  by  other 
defects  in  their  early  management  ? 

MRS.  B. — In  such  cases  the  difficulties  are  indeed  great , 
but  where  there  is  energy  of  mind,  much  may  be  done, 
especially  if  there  be,  also,  a  thorough  conviction  of  the 
importance  of  self-control,  both  as  it  regards  the  happiness 
of  the  individual,  and  of  every  one  connected  with  her. 
Upon  her  temper,  the  welfare  )f  her  family  may  be  said 
to  turn,  because  it  has  the  greatest  effect  in  moulding  the 
characters,  and  in  promoting  or  destroying  the  happiness 
of  the  domestic  circle.  Even  should  the  temper  of  her 
husband  be  peculiar,  she  may,  by  having  the  command  of 
her  own,  lessen  some  of  its  bad  effects  upon  the  happiness 
of  the  family ;  and  though  she  may  not  be  able  to  avert 
them  entirely,  yet  she  will  derive  much  satisfaction  from 
knowing  she  has  not  increased  the  evil,  by  her  own  want 
of  forbearance  and  good-humour.  One  of  the  agreeable 
consequences  which  she  will  find  to  result  from  good  tem- 
per, is  the  influence  it  gives  her  within  the  domestic  sphere. 
It  is  a  virtuous  influence,  honourable  to  herself,  and  bene- 
ficial as  far  as  it  extends  ;  and  very  different  from  that  love 


48  ON    TEMPER. 

of  power,  which,  the  sarcastic  say,  is  inherent  in  woman. 
Good  temper  in  a  wife  is  indispensable  to  conjugal  happi- 
ness. A  man  may  possess  every  advantage  which  the 
world  has  to  give,  and  may  have  talents  that  render  him 
a  valuable  member  of  society ;  yet,  if  his  wife  be  conten- 
tious, fretful,  or  discontented,  his  sum  of  happiness  is  most 
incomplete. 

Every  man,  whether  employed  in  the  duties  of  public 
or  of  professional  life,  meets  with  numerous  circumstances 
and  disappointments  which  harass  and  distress  him.  For 
the  painful  effects  of  these,  a  happy  home  provides  an  in 
stantaneous  antidote.  Every  thing  beyond  its  walls  seems 
for  a  time  forgotten,  while  the  mind  is  relieved,  and  its 
powers  renovated  for  future  exertions  in  the  wor/d,  by  the 
healthy  air  of  cheerfulness  which  he  breathes  m  the  do- 
mestic circle.  How  different  when  home  is  a  scene  of  ill 
humour  and  discord !  Into  such  a  home  no  one  can  retire 
from  the  harassing  business  of  life,  with  any  hope  of  com- 
fort and  relaxation,  but  must  seek  elsewhere  to  dissipate 
the  weight  upon  his  spirits  ;  though  nowhere  can  he  find 
relief  so  effectual,  as  that  which,  under  happier  auspices, 
his  home  might  have  afforded  him.  The  desires  which 
he  might  once  have  entertained  to  cultivate  domestic 
tastes,  and  to  seek  for  happiness  in  domestic  enjoyments, 
are  turned  from  their  course,  and  directed  into  channels 
which  can  give  him  no  permanent  satisfaction,  but  in 
which,  by  too  eager  a  pursuit,  he  may  be  brought  into 
situations  destructive  to  his  peace  of  mind. 

The  world  corrupts ;  home  should  refine :  the  one,  even 
in  the  sober  transactions  of  life,  presents  examples  of 
craftiness,  self-interestedness,  and  freedom  in  moral  princi- 
ple ;  while,  in  its  more  alluring  scenes  of  pleasure,  it  only 
nourishes  folly  and  vanity.  By  the  contemplation  of  these, 
even  without  participating  in  them,  the  mind  is  injured ; 
it  contracts  a  rust  vhich  nothing  can  better  remove  than 
home,  when  it  is  properly  organized.  When  that  presents 


50  ON   TEMPER. 

misdemeanours.  Her  influence  over  them  would  then 
have  tended  to  remedy  the  weakness  in  their  characters,1 
until  they,  by  the  force  of  habit,  had  become  incapable  of 
practising  any  course  of  3j  stematic  deception. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  witnessed  the  effects  you  describe 
upon  a  family  of  young  people,  in  whom  fear  towards 
their  parents  predominated  over  affection.  While  very 
young,  I  saw  them  endeavouring  daily  to  avoid  anger  or 
disgrace,  by  every  art  of  evasion  and  deceit  in  their  power : 
at  last  they  became  such  proficients,  that  it  might  have 
been  said  of  them,  as  was  observed  of  one  of  our  great 
poets,  that  "he  could  scarcely  drink  tea  without  a  strata- 
gem." Circumstance8  h™ke  off  the  intimacy  that  had 
subsisted  between  this  family  and  my  father's  ;  and  it  was 
fortunate  for  me  that  my  intercourse  with  them  thus  ter- 
minated, although  it  was  not  until  I  had  been  disgusted 
with  the  system  which  pervaded  the  whole  family.  I 
have  since  heard  that  not  one  of  the  young  people  have 
turned  out  well.  One  of  the  daughters  eloped  from  the 
paternal  roof,  and  made  a  disgraceful  marriage  ;  and  the 
sons,  whom  I  have  heard  described  as  spirited  young  men, 
have  not  continued  to  brook  its  restraints.  They  have 
broken  through  them,  and  have  run  riot  almost  to  their 
ruin.  But  let  us  tufn  fmrp  th;s  disagreeable  episode,  as 
soon  as  you  have  told  how  such  evils  may  be  avoided. 

M.RS.  B. — Uniform  but  gentle  restraint  may  generally 
prevent  the  vices  of  childhood  from  gaining  ground.  £ 
cannot  but  be  of  opinion,  that  when  deceit  and  disobe- 
dience have  attained  strength  in  the  infant  mind,  it  must 
be  attributable  either  to  the  neglect  or  the  abuse  of  paren- 
tal power.  By  proper  care  their  growth  may  generally  be 
checked,  and  the  opposite  virtues  encouraged.  And  this 
may  be  done  without  any  severe  measures,  or  any  diminu- 
tion of  the  happiness  which  nature  has  allotted  to  that 
season  of  life.  No  one,  who  has  witnessed  the  ill-humour 
and  caprice  of  a  petted  child,  will  declare  that  its  happi- 


ON   TEMPER.  51 

ness  is  comparable  to  that  of  the  little  cheerful  being  whose 
will  is  governed  by  the  superior  judgment  of  its  parents. 
But  this  subject  is  worthy  of  much  more  consideration  than 
a  conversation  between  you  ar  1  myself  will  permit. 
Therefore  we  will  close  it  with  observing,  that  she  who 
desires  to  govern  her  children  judiciously,  must  commence 
her  task" by  governing  herself. 

MRS.  L. — But  before  you  leave  me,  I  should  like  to  hear 
you  discuss  another  branch  of  domestic  management, 
though  one  of  minor  importance.  Many  satisfy  themselves 
that  the  restraint  of  their  tempers  towards  their  domestics 
is  not  requisite,  if  they  set  them  an  example  in  observance 
of  all  the  forms  of  religion,  ctnd  of  avoidance  of  any  acts 
of  immorality  ;  but  I  do  not  imagine  that  you  will  allow 
such  latitude. 

MRS.  B. — Indeed,  example  is  of  the  greatest  importance 
to  our  servants,  particularly  those  who  are  young,  whose 
kabits  are  frequently  formed  by  the  first  service  they  enter. 
With  the  mild  and  good,  they  become  softened  and  im- 
proved ;  but  with  the  dissipated  and  violent,  are  too  often 
disorderly  and  vicious.  It  is,  therefore,  not  among  the 
least  of  the  duties  incumbent  on  the  heads  of  families,  to 
place  in  their  view  such  examples  as  are  worthy  their  imi- 
tation. But  these  examples,  otherwise  praiseworthy, 
should  neither  be  rendered  disagreeable,  nor  have  their 
force  diminished  by  any  accompaniment  of  ill-humour. 
Rather,  by  the  happiness  and  comfort  resulting  from  our 
conduct  towards  our  domestics,  should  they  be  made 
sensible  of  the  beauty  of  virtue  and  piety..  What  we 
admire,  we  often  strive  to  imitate ;  and  thus  they  might 
be  led  on  to  imbibe  good  principles,  and  to  form  regular 
and  virtuous  habits. 

It  is  not  within  the  domestic  circle  only  that  good  temper 
should  be  exercised  ;  it  is  an  invaluable  possession  even 
among  the  more  distant  connections  of  social  life.  It  is  a 
passport  with  all  into  their  esteem  and  affection.  It  give* 


52  FORMS  OP  VISITING. 

a  grace  to  the  plainest  countenance,  and  to  the  fairest  is  an 
ornament  which  neither  time  nor  disease  will  destroy. 
Every  day  of  life  teems  with  circumstances  by  which  it 
may  be  exercised  and  improved.  Towards  the  husband, 
it  is  manifested  by  forbearance,  when  he  is  irritated  and 
vexed ;  and  by  soothing,  comforting,  and  supporting  him, 
when  under  the  pressure  of  deeper  and  more  afflicting 
troubles.  It  is  shown  towards  children  and  servants,  by 
willingness  to  promote  their  enjoyments,  while  superiority 
is  mildly  but  steadily  exerted,  to  keep  them  in  proper  sub- 
jection. It  is  exhibited  in  every  direction,  by  unwilling- 
ness to  offend ;  by  not  opposing  our  own  opinions  and 
pleasures  to  the  prejudices  of  others ;  and  it  is  above  all 
demonstrated  by  the  cheerful  even  tenor  of  spirits  that 
dwells  within  the  well-governed  mind,  and  which  renders 
it  happy  almost  in  spite  of  vexations  and  sorrows. 


CONVERSATION  VI. 

FORMS  OF  VISITING. — MORNING  CALLS.^-DINNER  PARTIES. 
— EVENING  PARTIES. 

MRS.  L. — Having  satisfied  me  with  regard  to  some  im- 
portant points  of  conduct,  allow  me,  my  dear  madam,  to 
consult  your  experience  respecting  those  minor  circum- 
stances, connected  with  society  and  domestic  economy, 
to  which  newly -married  ladies  are  frequently  strangers. 
It  is  too  much  the  fashion  to  confine  the  attention  of  juve- 
nile females*  to  the  acquisition  of  those  accomplishments 
which  may  adorn  them  for  the  drawing-room,  while  they 
neglect  to  attain  useful  knowledge  until  they  require  it  for 
inm-iediato  practice.  Of  the  number  of  these  young 


CALLS.  63 

Women,  I  must  unhappily  count  myself ;  though  f«rhaps 
more  fortunate  than  many  others,  in  having  so  kind  and 
experienced  a  friend  as  yourself  at  hand,  with  whom  I 
can  hold  such  agreeable  consultations.  In  the  first  place, 
I  wish  to  know,  the  forms  to  be  observed  in  morning  vi- 
siting ;  in  what  manner,  and  at  what  time,  I  am  to  return 
the  attentions  of  those  whose  cards  are  spread  upon  my 
table. '  Some  of  them,  I  perceive,  have  been  left  by  per- 
sons whom  I  very  highly  esteem ;  others,  by  individuals 
\vith  whom  I  am  unacquainted ;  and  some,  even  by  those 
with  whom  I  have  no  desire  to  be  intimate. 
\  MRS.  B. — A  newly-married  woman,  on  arriving  at  her 
future  home,  will  have  to  send  her  cards  in  return  for 
those  which  are  left  at  her  house,  after  her  marriage. 
She  may  afterwards  expect  the  calls  of  her  acquaintance ; 
for  which  it  is  not  absolutely  necessary  to  remain  at  home, 
although  politeness  requires  that  they  should  be  returned 
as  soon  as  possible.  But  having;  performed  this,  any 
further  intercourse  may  be  avoided  (where  it  is  deemed 
necessary)  by  a  polite  refusal  of  invitations.  Where  cards 
are  to  be  left,  the  number  must  be  determined  according 
to  the  various  members  of  which  the  family  called  upon 
is  composed.  For  instance,  where  there  are  the  mother, 
aunt,  and  daughters  (the  latter  having  been  introduced  to 
society),  three  cards  should  be  left. 

Morning  visits  should  not  be  long.  In  this  species  of 
intercourse,  the  manners  should  be  easy  and  cheerful,  and 
the  subjects  of  conversation  such  as  may  be  easily  ter- 
minated. The  time  proper  for  such  visits  is  too  short  to 
admit  of  serious  discussions  and  arguments.  The  conduc- 
of  others  often,  at  these  times,  becomes  the  subject  of  re- 
mark ;  but  it  is  dangerous  and  improper  to  express  opinions 
of  persons  and  characters  upon  a  recent  acquaintance ; 
and  a  young  married  female  would  do  wisely,  to  sound 
the  opinions  and  to  examine  for  herself  the  characters  of 
a  new  circle  of  acquaintance,  before  exposing  her  own 
5* 


64  MORNING   CALLS. 

sentiments.  I  do  not  mean  that  she  should  be  afraid  of 
broaching  them,  but  that  she  should  avoid  the  possibility 
of  unknowingly  giving  pain  and  offence.  When  she  is 
better  acquainted  with  the  circle  of  which  she  has  become 
a  member,  she  will  see  more  clearly  around  her;  and 
then,  as  she  thinks  fit,  she  may  diminish  her  caution. 
Friendships  are  acquired  and  secured  by  qualities  of  in- 
trinsic  value  ;  but  among  mere  acquaintance,  it  is  by  plea- 
sing manners  chiefly  that  we  must  expect  to  obtain  a 
favourable  reception.  The  deportment  of  a  bride,  in  par 
ticular,  is  so  far  important  to  herself,  that  it  may  decide  in 
a  degree  her  future  estimation  in  society. 

MRS.  L. — 1  have  often  thought  that  morning  visits  are 
very  annoying,  both  to  receive  and  to  pay.  They  fritter 
away  so  ujucn  time,  without  affording  any  adequate  re- 
turn ;  unless,  indeed,  any  thing  be  gained  by  hearing  the 
little  nothings  of  the  day  enlarged  upon,  and  perhaps  of 
acquiring  one's  self  the  art  of  discussing  them  as  if  they 
were  matters  of  deep  importance. 

MRS.  B. — And  yet,  when  it  is  desirable  to  keep  together 
a  large  circle  of  acquaintance,  morning  visits  cannot  very 
well  be  dispensed  with.  You  must  be  aware  that  as  time 
and  circumstances  seldom  permit  the  frequent  interchange 
of  other  visits,  our  acquaintance  would  become  estranged 
from  us,  if  our  intercourse  with  them  were  not  occasion- 
ally renewed  by  receiving  and  paying  morning  visits.  A 
good  economist  of  time  will,  of  course,  keep  morning 
visits  strictly  for  this  purpose  ;  and,  not  considering  them 
as  intended  merely  for  amusement,  will  not  make  them 
more  frequently  than  is  necessary.  By  the  occasional  ap- 
propriation of  a  few  hours,  many  debts  of  this  kind  may 
be  paid  off  at  once,  and  thus  a  season  for  other  pursuits 
will  be  provided.  The  economy  of  time,  so  essential  to 
the  head  of  a  family,  will  also  prompt  certain  limitations 
as  to  the  times  of  receiving  morning  visits.  To  have 
every  morning  liable  to  such  interruptions,  must  be  a 


HOBOING  CALLS.  §5 

great  impediment  in  the  way  of  more  important  avocations, 
and  must  occasion  the  useless  dissipation  of  many  an  hour. 
Experience  has  found  this  out,  or  the  custom  of  denial 
would  not  have  become  so  prevalent. 

MRS.  L. — What  is  your  opinion  of  denials  ? 

MRS.  B. — Something  may  be  said  on  both  sides  of  the 
question,  respecting  the  propriety  of  this  custom.  As  the 
words  "not  at  home"  have  become  synonymous  with 
"  being  engaged"  they  neither  deceive,  nor  are  intended 
to  deceive  ;  therefore  they  may  be  employed  innocently, 
as  far  as  regards  our  friends  and  ourselves  ;*  but  I  am  not 
quite  so  well  satisfied  as  to  the  effect  upon  our  domestics, 
whom  in  the  morning  we  may  desire  to  utter  a  deliberate 
falsehood  (according  to  their  apprehension)  for  our  conve- 
nience, and  whom  in  the  evening  we  may  find  occasion  to 
reprimand  for  one  employed  in  their  own  service.  How 
can  we  expect  ignorant  servants  to  discriminate  between 
the  falsehood  which  the  use  of  the  phrase  "  not  at  home" 
in  its  literal  meaning  conveys,  when  it  is  employed  to  for- 
bid the  intrusion  of  a  visiter  at  an  unseasonable  moment, 
and  the  meaning  which  fashion  and  custom  have  now 
attached  to  it  ?  I  am  afraid  their  integrity  is  weakened 
by  its  use  ;  and  the  habit  once  begun  in  fre  practice  of 
deceit,  no  one  can  tell  to  what  greater  magnitude  it  may 
proceed.  Deceit  is  a  growing  evil.  To  say  to  it  "  so 
far  shall  thou  go,  and  no  farther, '  would  prove  as  ineffec- 
tual as  the  Danish  monarch's  prohibition  to  the  ocean.  Yet 

*  Custom  may  have  rendered  this  fashionable,  but  it  is  radically  wrong, 
and  tends  to  undo  all  the  good  principles  endeavoured  to  be  inculcated  in  the 
•ucceeding  pages  of  this  work.  A  wilful,  known  and  downright  lie  cannot 
be  advocated  upon  principJesof  honour  or  morality,  andouglit  to  be  religiously 
discarded.  Making  the  words  not  at  home,  synonymous  with  being  engaged^ 
is  a  gross  perversion  of  language,  and  can  only  be  made  so,  by  a  mental  reser- 
vation of  the  person  who  returns  such  a  message,  which  is  not  believed  by  the 
one  who  receivps  it.  It  were  better  to  tell  the  plain  truth  than  a  lie,  and  to 
reply  to  a  morning  call,  that  you  are  so  engaged  as  to  wish,  to  be  excused  from 
being  seen.  This  might  affront  some,  but  not  so  many  as  the  other  method, 
and  the  truth  would  be  maintained  without  injury  to  a.ny  one,  Jimer.  Ed. 


56  HORNING    CALLS. 

we  are  told  this  custom  is  without  remedy.  Let  us  exa- 
mine this  point. 

What  has  given  it  its  present  general  currency  ?  What 
commences  and  establishes  many  customs  in  polite  society  ? 
The  answer  is  easy — the  caprice  or  will  of  some  leading 
personage,  who  has  the  power  of  acting  independently  of 
public  opinion,  together  with  the  influence  of  fashion  in 
leading  those  who  strive,  by  following  the  example  of 
their  superiors,  to  include  themselves  within  the  sphere 
of  polite  life,  without  examining  either  the  morality  01 
the  propriety  of  the  act  as  it  may  affect  themselves.  The 
most  absurd  fashions  have  occasionally  prevailed  ;  defor- 
mities of  which  nature  was  never  guilty  have  been  es- 
teemed elegancies  in  shape  ;  and  even  diseases  have  had 
their  seasons  of  admiration,  as  characteristics  of  fashion! 
Sparkling  eyes,  that  might  have  vied  with  1he  eagle  in 
strength  of  vision,  have  been  seen  straining  through  a 
glass ;  and  limbs  agile  and  strong  have  appeared  feeble 
and  decrepit  by  the  irresistible  mandate  of  fashion !  Let 
any  woman  possessing  the  needful  qualifications  for  lead- 
ing thefcw, — beauty,  rank,  and  fortune, — decorate  her  per- 
son in  the  most  preposterous  and  unbecoming  mode  which 
she  can  devise,  she  will  still  have  her  imitators,  amidst  the 
throng  of  inferior  beauties,  emulous  to  vie  with  her  in  ab- 
surdity. If  fashion  be  thus  powerful, — if  by  her  magic 
touch  she  can  give  attractions  to  deformity,  disease,  and 
folly, — where  can  be  the  impossibility,  but  that  one  day 
truth  and  sincerity  may  be  her  characteristics  and  her  test*  ? 

I  would  not  by  these  remarks  urge  a  young  married 
woman  to  become  a  Quixote  in  morals,  and  declare  war 
against  custom  ;  but  her  aim  should  be  to  obviate  the  evil 
that  may  arise  from  it  as  much  as  she  can.  She  may  en- 
deavour to  acquaint  her  servants  with  the  real  state  of  the 
case  ;  and  explain  to  them  the  impossibility  of  adopting- 
plainer  or  more  direct  language  in  the  present  state  of 
society .~My  memory  presents  an  instance  to  me  of  the 


MORNING  CALLS.  67 

futile  attempt  Candida  made  to  oppose  her  practice  to 
this  custom.  Prior  to  her  marriage  she  had  lived  in  the 
country,  and  her  education  had  been  favourable  to  the  ex- 
treme artlessness  of  her  character,  so  that  when  she  came 
to  act  in  a  more  extended  sphere,  she  shrunk  abhorrent  from 
the  dissimulation  which  she  saw  practised  and  enforced. 
Soon  after  her  arrival  in  the  capital,  where  she  was  destined 
to  mingle  with  the  fashionable  world,  sue  tbund  that  the 
daily  intrusion  of  the  idle  and  the  thoughtless  so  completely 
destroyed  her  mornings,  which  she  had  been  accustomed 
to  devote  to  reading,  drawing,  and  other  studies,  that  she 
resolved  to  see  no  visiters  until  after  a  certain  hour  in  the 
day ;  and  desired  her  tootman  to  inform  those  who  might 
call  before  that  time,  that  she  was  engaged,  and  begged 
fo  be  excused.  She  soon  tbund  the  inconvenience  of 
acting  with  such  candour :  her  insolence  and  ill-breeding 
were  loudly  condemned  ;  and  when  she  encountered  her 
acquaintance,  she  perceived  their  manner  to  her  to  be 
cold  and  haughty.  This  trifling  instance  thus  proved  to 
her  that  her  comfort  would  be  disturbed  if  she  did  not 
float  with  the  tide  of  custom  ;  and  she  resolved,  while 
striving  to  act  well  in  important  concerns,  to  attempt  no 
innovations  in  the  ordinary  usages  of  society. 

MRS.  L. — I  perceive  what  you  wish  to  enforce.  Inno- 
vations of  custom  must  not  be  attempted  by  those  in  ordi- 
nary life  ;  for  such  an  attempt  would  prove  ineffectual,  as 
far  as  regards  the  good  of  society,  and  be  injurious  in  respect 
to  themselves.  Such  attempts  should  proceed  only  from 
those  of  exalted  rank,  and  of  peculiar  influence  j  and 
even  in  them  it  would,  I  think,  require  mor •*  courage  and 
indifference  to  general  opinion  than  can  be  desirable  in  the 
female  character.  But  will  you  continue  your  remarks  on 
the  power  this  custom  gives  us  to  restrict  the  number  of 
morning  visiters  ? 

MRS.  B. — This  custom  cannot  be  better  enforced  than 
towards  the  idlers  of  both  sexes.  If  they  choose  to  fritter 


58  MOBNING  CALLS. 

away  their  time,  they  have  no  right  to  condemn  others  to 
do  so  too,  who  may  have  better  notions  of  the  value  of 
existence,  and  of  such  pursuits  as  leave  them  no  time  to 
kill.  The  gay  and  fashionable  idlers  of  the  other  sex,  in 
particular,  should,  without  mercy,  be  doomed  to  the  re- 
strictions of  formal  visiting  alone  ;  and  this  is  the  more 
desirable  when  the  husband  of  a  young  lady  is  generally 
absent  from  home  in  a  morning,  because  it  has  lately  be- 
come fashionable  to  pay  more  attention,  and  to  show  more 
undisguised  admiration,  to  young  married  females  (pro- 
dded they  be  agreeable)  than  to  the  single.  The  greater 
intercourse  for  the  few  last  years  with  foreigners,  and  the 
imitation  of  their  manners,  which  allow  of  gallantry  to 
married  women  alone,  may  be  one  cause  of  this  change 
in  English  manners.  Or  it  may  partly  arise  from  the  for- 
wardness of  young  ladies  to  be  married,  and  the  too  evi- 
dent desire  of  many  mothers  to  establish  their  daughters 
early  in  life ;  such  views,  disgusting  instead  of  pleasing, 
often  destroy  their  hopes  and  defeat  their  purpose.  But 
to  be  the  object  of  gallantry  can  seldom  be  either  agree- 
able or  flattering  to  a  woman  of  sense  :  where  superiority 
ought  at  once  to  secure  her  from  any  attentions  inconsistent 
with  the  esteem  which  that  superiority  claims. 

MRS.  L. — The  young  and  lively  may  be  led,  almost 
unknowingly,  into  improprieties  of  conduct ;  for  I  am  very 
much  inclined  to  believe,  that  ignorance  and  want  of  re- 
flection are  the  first  causes  of  error  in  our  sex. 

But  to  return  to  minor  considerations. — I  think  I  have 
perceived  some  care  shown  in  the  arrangement  of  the 
drawing-room,  when  visiters  were  expected.  Is  this  ne- 
cessary ? 

MRS.  B. — Morning  visiters  are  generally  received  in 
the  drawing-room.  To  preserve  this  apartment  neat,  and 
to  exhibit  good  taste  in  its  decorations  and  the  arrangements 
of  its  furniture,  are  of  some  importance  to  the  young  mis- 
tress of  a  family.  From  these,  strangers  are  apt  to  form 


MORNING  CALLS.  .  59 

an  opinion  of  the  character  of  its  proprietor.  The  draw 
ing-room  is  that  part  of  a  private  house  in  which  decora- 
tions and  embellishments  are  most  in  place.  It  is  there 
the  graces  of  social  intercourse  are  chiefly  displayed; 
where  learning  relaxes  from  his  gravity  of  feature ;  pe- 
dantry throws  aside  his  gown  and  trencher ;  and  wisdom, 
with  the  affability  of  benevolence,  mingles  in  the  amuse- 
ments, and  shares  the  feelings  of  the  young,  the  gay,  and 
the  lovely.  Every  thing,  therefore,  in  the  drawing-room 
should  be  light  and  elegant .  mirrors  are  here  in  charac- 
ter ;  and  bouquets  and  flowering  plants.  The  drawing- 
rooms  of  the  opulent  and  fashionable  have  of  late  been 
crowded  with  a  thousand  fanciful  ornaments;  such  as 
various  articles  of  old  and  foreign  china,  glass  baskets, 
Spanish  toys,  flowers  made  of  rice  and  wax,  and  many 
other  trifles.  This  fashion  is  of  French  origin,  and  cannot 
be  considered  as  entirely  consistent  with  good  taste.  It 
is,  indeed,  converting  the  drawing-room  into  a  bazaar  or 
toy-shop  ;  but  is  still  more  absurd  when  it  is  adopted  by 
those  who  can  ill  afford  to  purchase  such  frivolities.  A 
more  rational  source  of  amusement  both  for  the  visitants 
and  inmates  of  the  drawing-room  may  be  derived  from  se- 
lections of  the  literature  of  the  day,  or  from  the  works  of 
some  ot  our  best  authors.  This  selection  should  not  in- 
clude productions  of  an  immoral  tendency,  or  those  which 
offend  against  propriety.  Of  this  description  are  the  Don 
Juan,  and  other  poems  by  Lord  Byron,  and  the  works  of 
Smollett  and  Fielding.  Although  these  authors  rank  high 
among  us,  their  works  must  be  regarded  as  unfit  for  general 
perusal,  because  they  introduce  the  reader  to  characters 
which  had  better  remain  unknown  ;  and  they  unveil  scenes 
it  were  better  to  conceal.  If  the  artist,  who  aspires  to  a 
correct  and  pure  taste,  avoids  the  study  of  works  of  a  low 
and  groveling  style,  so  should  they  who  do  not  desire 
to  debase  their  minds,  shun  familiarity  with  vice,  whether 
in  scenes  of  real  life,  or  in  the  representations  of  fiction. 


60  MORNING  CALLS. 

In  the  arrangement  of  the  drawing-room  for  receiving 
morning  visiters,  the  couches,  sofetles,  and  chairs  should 
be  placed  so  as  to  facilitate  the  colloquial  intercourse  of 
the  strangers,  without  the  necessity  of  a  servant  entering 
the  room  to  place  them  ;  and  this  arrangement,  while  it  is 
devoid  of  formality,  should  be  done  with  some  attention 
to  good  order.  Ease,  not  carelessness,  should  predo- 
minate. 

Plants  and  flowers  are  pleasing  ornaments  in  a  draw- 
ing-room, and  give  an  exercise  for  taste  in  their  choice 
and  arrangement.  And  let  me  observe,  that,  though  it 
may  not  be  necessary  for  a  lady  to  be  a  botanist  or  a  natu- 
ralist, yet  she  ought  not  to  be  ignorant  of  the  names  and 
characters  of  the  flowers  that  adorn  her  drawing-room. 
To  learn  their  names,  something  of  their  natural  history, 
and  (if  they  are  exotics)  of  their  native  soil,  is  soon  done, 
and  such  slight  knowledge  often  promotes  conversation 
between  those  who,  from  slight  acquaintance,  have  with 
each  other  few  subjects  in  common,  and  between  whom, 
conversation,  in  consequence,  flags,  and  becomes  heavy. 

It  is  almost  unnecessary  to  add,  that  the  occupations  of 
drawing,  music,  and  reading,  should  be  suspended  on  the 
entrance  of  morning  visiters.  But  if  a  lady  be  engaged 
with  light  needlework,  and  none  other  is  appropriate  in 
the  drawing-room,  it  promotes  ease,  and  is  not  inconsistent 
with  good  breeding  to  continue  it  during  conversation : 
particularly  if  the  visit  be  protracted  or  the  visiters  be 
gentlemen.  It  was  formerly  the  custom  to  see  visiters  to 
the  door  on  taking  leave ;  but  this  is  now  discontinued. 
The  lady  of  the  house  merely  rises  from  her  seat,  shake? 
hands  or  courtesies,  according  as  her  intimacy  is  with  the 
parties,  and  then  ringing  the  bell  to  summon  a  servant  to 
attend  them,  leaves  them  to  find  their  way  out  of  the 
house.  Neither  is  it  necessary  for  a  lady  to  advance  to 
the  door  to  receive  her  company,  who  are  expected  to 
«nake  their  way  to  her,  unless,  indeed,  great  age,  or  marked 


DINNER   PARTIES.  61 

superiority  of  rank  require,  according  to  the  usages  of  so- 
ciety, a  greater  degree  of  attention. 

MRS.  L. — Is  there  not  some  awkwardness  attending 
tins,  if  servants  be  not  on  the  alert  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  is  ;  but  it  is  the  duty  of  every  mis- 
tress, to  see  that  her  servants  understand,  and  fulfil,  what 
is  requisite  for  the  good  order  of  her  house,  and  the  com- 
fort of  her  visitors. 

§  2.      DINNER  PARTIES. 

MRS.  L. — How  are  dinner  parties  to  be  managed? 

MRS.  B. — Cards  for  a  dinner  party  should  be  issued  a 
fortnight,  three  weeks,  or  even  a  month  beforehand;  and 
as  dulness  is  less  tolerable  at  one's  own  table  than  at  any 
other,  care  should  be  taken  in  the  selection  of  the  party, 
which  cannot  be  otherwise  than  heavy  and  dull,  if  incon- 
gruously assembled.  A  very  large  party  is  not  likely  to 
be  as  lively  and  sociable  as  one  of  moderate  size.  A  re- 
mark has  somewhere  been  made,  that  a  dinner  party 
should  never  be  less  in  number  than  the  graces,  nor  more 
than  the  muses  ;  but  certainly  more  than  ten  or  twelve  in 
number  is  not  desirable.  When  a  table  is  very  long,  the 
conversation,  witticisms,  and  pleasantries  at  one  end  must 
be  lost  at  the  other.  When,  however,  from  prudential 
motives,  it  is  an  object  to  have  a  restricted  number  of  din- 
ner parties,  they  cannot,  of  course,  be  of  so  limited  a 
size :  it  being  settled  by  all  strict  economists,  that  the 
expense  of  dinner  parties  is  in  proportion  to  the  number 
given,  and  not  to  the  size  of  them. 

The  extent  of  a  party  being  determined,  the  next  point 
to  be  considered,  is  the  selection  of  the  guests.  It  is  fatal 
to  good  humour  and  enjoyment,  to  invite  those  to  meet 
who  are  known  to  be  disagreeable  to  each  other.  The 
lively  and  reserved  should  be  mixed  together,  so  as  to  form 
an  agreeable  whole,  the  one  amusing,  and  the  other  being: 


62  DINNER  PARTIES. 

amused.  An  equal  number  of  ladies  and  gentlemen, 
neither  all  old,  nor  yet  all  young,  should  be  so  mingled, 
that  the  conversation  may  be  as  varied  as  the  party,  uniting 
the  sense  and  experience  of  age,  with  the  vivacity  and 
originality  of  youth.  The  conversation  must,  in  a  great 
degree,  however,  be  regulated  by  the  host  and  hostess; 
who  should  be  always  prepared  to  rouse  it  when  it  be- 
comes heavy,  or  to  change  it  skilfully  when  it  is  likely  to 
turn  upon  subjects  known  to  be  unpleasant  to  any  of  their 
visiters.  Such  a  power  over  the  flow  of  conversation 
results  generally  from  early  and  constantly  associating 
with  good  company,  and  from  that  self-possession  which 
rarely  belongs  to  persons  of  retired  habits.  I  have  been 
told  that  Sir  Walter  Scott  possesses  this  art  in  a  peculiar 
degree,  and  exerts  it  henever  the  conversation  at  hi? 
table  approaches  towards  an  argument  between  two  of 
the  party.  By  imperceptible,  but  sure  means,  he  checks 
this  monopoly,  and  turns  the  conversation  into  channels  o( 
more  general  interest. 

MRS.  L. — When  the  party  is  formed,  how  is  the  table 
to  be  regulated  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  regulation  of  the  table  is  a  concern  of 
some  nicety;  and  in  this  every  lady  must  first  exercise 
her  judgment  as  to  its  expense,  and  then  show  her  taste 
in  its  arrangement,  whatever  her  establishment  may  be : 
whether  she  have  to  fix  upon  her  bill  of  fare  with  a  house- 
keeper, or  with  a  cook  of  fewer  qualifications,  her  super- 
intendence will  still  be  necessary.  She  should  be  the  best 
judge  what  dishes  may  be  too  expensive,  too  heavy,  or 
too  unsubstantial.  In  general,  preserves  form  a  part  of  a 
dessert,  either  West  Indian  or  English  ;  and  when  the  latter 
are  made  at  home, they  are  usually  better  in  quality,  and  one 
half  cheaper,  than  those  purchased  at  the  confectioner's. 

MRS.  L. — Will  you  give  me  some  idea  of  the  best 
method  of  setting  out  and  arranging  a  dinner  table,  for  a 
party  of  sixteen  or  twenty  ? 


DINNER  PARTIES.  63 

MRS.  B. — Fashion,  the  great  arbiter  of  every  thing 
connected  with  social  life,  varies  the  nature  of  the  courses, 
and  the  quantity  of  viands  which  must  be  placed  at  one 
time  upon  the  table ;  so  that  the  dinner  which  might  be 
considered  as  elegant  at  one  time  would  have  an  air  of 
vulgarity  at  another;  particular  directions,  therefore,  on 
this  part  of  your  inquiry,  can  scarcely  be  given,  though 
by  describing  a  dinner  of  three  courses,  for  the  present 
time,  some  idea  may  be  formed,  and  whichinay  be  modi- 
fied to  any  future  change  of  fashion. 

The  centre  of  the  table  is  not  now  universally  occupied 
by  the  <  ^ergne,  or  any  other  centre  dish,  although  at 
some  tables  this  custom  is  continued.  Nor,  unless  the 
party  is  a  large  one,  is  it  as  usual  as  it  was  to  have  two 
dishes  of  fish,  and  two  tureens  of  soup.  One  of  each,  for 
a  party  of  nine  or  ten  is  thought  enough ;  the  soup  is 
placed  at  the  top  of  the  table,  the  fish  at  the  bottom 
Sometimes  the  side  dishes,  or  entries,  are  served  with  the 
soup  and  fish ;  but  more  commonly  they  are  brought  to 
table  with  the  removes  of  the  soup  and  fish.  The  number 
of  these  side  dishes  is  four  or  six,  according  to  the  size  of 
the  party. 

Vegetables  are  handed  round  from  the  side-table.  The 
wines  are  placed  upon  the  table  at  first  in  six  decanters, 
one  of  each  being  placed  at  each  corner  of  the  table,  and 
one  on  each  side  in  the  length  of  the  table,  while  two 
bottles  of  some  light  French  or  Rhenish  wine,  undecanted, 
corked,  and  placed  in  silver  or  plated  vases,  fill  up  a  space 
between  the  ends  of  the  table.  Small  decanters  of  water, 
covered  with  an  inverted  tumbler,  should  be  placed  by 
the  cover  of  every  second  guest,  but  malt  liquors,  cider, 
and  other  beveraees,  are  handed  by  the  attendants  when 
called  for.  In  the  interval  of  each  course,  Champaign, 
Hock,  Burgundy,  or  Barsac,  are  handed  round  to  each 
guest.  Cheese  is  handed  round,  but  the  custom  of  drink- 
ing Port  after  it  is  no  longer*  in  vogue. 


64  DINNER  PASTIES. 

When,  according  to  the  continental  fashion,  the  cloth  is 
allowed  to  remain  on  the  table,  it  is  protected  by  four 
small  damask  cloths,  of  which  the  corners  meet  in  the 
centre  of  the  table,  and  these  are  easily  removed  after  the 
dinner  is  finished,  and  before  the  dessert  is  brought ;  but 
the  more  general  custom  is  to  remove  the  cloth  before  the 
dessert.  Previously,  however,  a  silver,  china,  or  glass 
dish,  containing  rose-water,  is  passed  round  the  table,  into 
which  each  guest  dips  the  corner  of  his  table-napkin,  for 
the  purpose  oi  refreshing  his  mouth  and  fingers,  prior  to 
the  appearance  of  the  dessert. 

The  dessert  necessarily  varies  with  the  season :  when 
that  will  admit  of  ripe  fruits,  the  most  important,  such  as 
grapes,  pine-apples,  peaches,  or  apricots,  must  of  course 
occupy  the  ends  of  the  table ;  while  the  inferior  fruits, 
such  as  strawberries  and  raspberries,  with  preserves  and 
dried  fruits,  fill  the  corners  and  sides  of  the  table.  A 
Savoy  cake,  on  an  elevated  dish,  is  very  proper  for  the 
centre ;  wafers,  and  any  other  cakes,  may  fill  up  any 
spaces  in  the  length  of  the  table.  In  the  summer  a  China 
pail  of  ice  is  generally  placed  at  each  end  of  the  table, 
and  served  out  on  glass  plates  before  the  wine  is  circu- 
lated. Sometimes  Noyeau,  Cura9oa,  Dantzic,  Constantia, 
or  some  other  liqueur,  or  cordial,  is  handed  to  the  guests 
in  small  glasses,  immediately  after  the  ice  has  been 
served ;  the  ice  pails  and  glass  plates  are  removed  before 
the  servants  leave  the  room. 

The  decanted  wines  placed  on  the  table  during  dinner 
are  white  wines ;  either  Madeira,  Sherry,  or  Bu9ellus  ; 
those  circulated  after  dinner  are  Port,  Madeira,  and 
Claret.  Claret  is  generally  contained  in  a  decanter  with 
a 'handle,  and  of  a  peculiar  form,  and  having  a  heavy 
stopper. 

Directions  to  the  cook  should  always  be  closed  with 
strict  injunctions  to  be  punctual  to  time,  and  to  send  every 
thing,  which  is  intended  to  be  eaten  hot,  to  table  in  proper 


DINNEB   PASTIES,  6£ 

reason.  Carelessness  in  these  two  particulars  should  not 
be  passed  over  without  reprimand;  and  if  the  fault  be 
repeated,  it  might  be  as  well  to  part  with  a  servant  who 
has  either  undertaken  a  place  without  possessing  for  it 
sufficient  qualifications,  or  who  is  indifferent  to  the  comfort 
of  her  master  or  mistress,  to  whom  it  is  a  most  disagree- 
able circumstance  to  be  anticipating  for  a  length  of  time 
the  announcement  of  dinner,  and  when  announced  to  find 
every  thing  either  chilled  or  overdone. 

After  the  order  for  dinner  has  been  given,  a  proper  time 
should  be  allowed  for  serving  it  up,  before  the  host  or 
hostess  express  their  impatience  by  ringing  the  bell ; 
which  often  hurries  and  perplexes  the  servants  without 
expediting  their  business.  It  has  been  calculated  that  it 
requires  twenty  minutes  to  serve  up  a  dinner;  but  I  be- 
lieve that  this  calculation  was  made  when  the  first  course 
consisted  of  more  dishes  than  is  usually  the  case  now. 
Perhaps,  ten  or  twelve  minutes  is  a  sufficient  allowance, 
especially  if  the  cook  has  placed  every  thing  in  readiness 
for  serving,  and  has  proper  assistance;  it  is  impossible  for 
one  person  to  take  up  a  large  dinner  in  moderate  time. 

The  butler,  or  footman,  should  be  furnished  with  a  pla» 
of  the  dinner,  drawn  out  in  an  intelligible  manner,  so  that 
he  may  know  how  to  arrange  the  dishes  on  the  table  :  for 
as  much  of  the  elegance  of  effect,  which  is  always  de- 
sirable on  a  dinner  table,  is  produced  by  this  arrangement, 
it  ought  not  to  be  trusted  to  the  taste  or  judgment  of  a 
servant.  . 

After  the  dessert  is  put  on  the  table  with  the  wine, 
glasses,  &c.  ice  is  sometimes  handed  round,  for  which 
there  is  an  additional  plate  given  to  each  guest.  The 
butler  and  another  servant  remain  in  the  room  while  the 
ice  is  eating,  to  remove  the  upper  plates  when  done  with. 
The  butler  and  footman  should  have  every  thing  in  the 
neatest  order,  at  the  side-board  and  on  the  table  ;  with  a 
sufficient  quantity  of  glasses,  knives,  forks,  spoons,  &c.  in 
6* 


66  BINNER    FABTIES 

the  room.  They  should  be  quiet  and  rapid  in  their  move- 
ments ;  observant  in  supplying  changes  of  plates,  and  in 
attending  to  the  demands  of  each  guest.  They  ought  not 
to  require  being  told  to  change  plates,  nor  should  they  be 
permitted  to  leave  the  room.  The  courses  should  bo 
quickly  removed,  but  without  bustle. 

It  is  always  proper,  if  no  housekeeper  or  butler  be  kept, 
that  the  mistress  of  her  family  should  give  very  minute 
directions  to  the  footman,  to  prepare  the  plate  the  day 
before  a  dinner-party  is  to  be  gnen.  Wax  lights  should 
be  in  readiness,  and  the  lamps,  particularly  those  not  in 
common  use,  should  be  cleaned  and  trimmed. 

The  table  which  is  to  be  used  must  be  so  proportioned 
to  the  size  of  the  party,  as  neither  to  inconvenience  the 
guests,  by  over-crowding  them,  nor  yet  to  admit  of  too 
much  space,  which  has  always  an  uncomfortable  appear- 
ance. The  glasses  of  every  description  should  look  clean 
and  bright;  and  the  water  in  the  decanters  should  be 
clear,  and  without  sediment.  The  wines,  when  not  in 
charge  of  a  butler,  should  be  given  out  in  good  time,  to  be 
properly  decanted  and  cooled 

I  am  afraid  you  will  think  that  these  directions  are  more 
minute  than  is  requisite  ;  but  1  know  that  many  a  young 
housekeeper  has  been  amazed  at  the  bustle  and  confusion 
apparent  among  her  servants  at  the  hour  of  dinner,  and  has 
been  mortified  at  the  difficulty  of  procuring  what  was 
required,  without  being  aware,  that,  had  she  previously 
enforced  regulations  like  these,  she  would  have  brought 
them  into  such  habits  of  order  and  method,  as  would  have 
enabled  them  to  discharge  their  duties  easily  and  quietly. 
When  once  good  habits  are  formed  in  our  servants,  they 
will  seldom  require  such  minute  attention  ;  for,  perceiving 
Ihe  advantages  they  themselves  derive  from  them,  they 
will  generally  continue  to  practise  them.  Such  servants 
will,  of  their  own  accord,  clean  and  put  away  into  their 
proper  places,  all  the  various  articles  which  belong  to  their 


DINNER  PARTIES.  67 

different  departments.  Confusion  and  breakage  will  be 
thus  avoided,  and  the  ordinary  business  of  the  following 
day  not  much  interrupted. 

MRS.  L. — Your  instructions  bring  to  my  recollection  the 
lively  and  amusing  description  of  a  badly-arranged  and 
badly-conducted  dinner  in  one  of  Miss  Edgeworth's 
stories.  Though  the  scene  of  that  dinner  is  Dublin,  it  is 
not  difficult  to  call  to  mind  some  very  similar  to  it  in  Eng- 
land. The  table  groaning  under  the  weight  of  luxuries  ; 
the  domestics  hurried  and  flurried,  first  at  one  end  of  the 
room,  and  then  at  another,  without  having  much  notion 
what  to  do  with  themselves  ;  the  lady  hostess^  with  settled 
anxiety  on  her  brow,  directing  the  proper  position  of  each 
dish,  and  apparently  more  solicitous  for  the  perfection  of 
the  coup-derail  of  her  table,  than  for  the  flavour  of  her 
viands ;  and  when,  after  calling,  commanding,  and  exhorting 
in  vain  the  poor  servant  to  put  into  its  proper  place  either  the 
trifle  or  the  custard,  her  emphatic  and  reproachful  exclama- 
tion admirably  closes  the  scene,  "  Oh!  Larry!  Larry!" 

But  when  dinner  is  announced,  what  form  then  takes 
place  ? 

MRS.  B. — When  dinner  is  announced,  the  gentleman  of 
the  house  selects  the  lady  either  distinguished  by  rank,  by 
age,  or  by  being  the  greatest  stranger  in  the  party,  to  lead 
to  the  dining-room,  where  he  places  her  by  himself.  If 
her  husband  be  of  the  party,  he  takes  the  lady  of  the 
house  to  her  place  at  table,  and  seats  himself  by  her  ;  the 
rest  of  the  party  follow  in  couples;  and  the  hostess  ar- 
ranges them  according  to  their  rank,  or  according  to  what 
she  imagines  may  be  their  expectations ;  always,  however, 
placing  the  greatest  strangers  among  the  gentlemen  near 
herself.  This  arrangement  should  be  effected  in  an  easy, 
gentle  manner,  and  with  as  little  form  as  possible. 

The  trouble  of  carving  generally  devolves  on  the  gen- 
tleman next  to  the  lady.  The  gentlemen  around  the  table 
are  supposed  to  pay  every  attention  to  the  ladies  next  to 


68  DINNER    PARTIES. 

them ;  and  it  is  the  duty  of  the  servants  to  hand  round 
the  fish  and  soup,  which  are  presumed  to  be  generally 
eaten.  It  is  not,  now,  the  fashion  for  the  presiding  lady  to 
pay  those  very  particular  attentions  to  her  guests,.which 
formerly  was  a  formidable  task.  In  this  point,  however, 
some  discrimination  must  be  shown ;  too  much  attention 
has  the  appearance  of  effort,  and  annoys ;  too  little  may 
offend.  The  lady  of  the  house  should  never  be  so  much 
engaged  with  these  attentions  as  to  render  her  unable  to 
listen  to  conversation,  or  to  keep  it  alive  :  her  aim  should 
be  to  give  it  an  easy  transition  from  one  topic  to  another ; 
and  to  guard  it  from  dwelling  long  on  one  which  is  not 
likely  to  excite  general  interest.  In  fact,  a  gentlewoman 
is  known  in  her  own  house.  She  may  pass  unnoticed 
elsewhere,  because  there  may  be  nothing  striking  in  her 
appearance ;  but  at  home,  and  at  her  own  table,  she  is 
instantly  discovered.  It  is  with  her  manners  as  with  her 
dress ;  she  does  not  follow  fashion  blindly  and  immode- 
rately, but  rather  moulds  them  into  the  superior  form  of 
good  breeding. 

It  is  customary  in  some  houses,  which  are  regarded  as 
fashionable,  for  the  master  and  mistress  to  sit  together  at 
the  head  of  the  table,  leaving  the  lower  end  in  charge  of 
a  son,  or  some  male  relation  or  friend  ;  but  this  custom 
has  never  been  sanctioned  by  general  usage,  snd  is  so  ob-- 
jectionable,  as  far  as  regards  the  attention  and  comfort 
which  every  guest  has  a  right  to  expect  from  his  host,  that 
it  is  not  likely  ever  to  prevail.  It  is  true  that  bad  health, 
advanced  age,  or  accidental  circumstances,  may  place  a 
gentleman  as  a  guest  at  his  own  table  ;  but  when  these 
do  not  exist,  his  appropriate  situation  is,  certainly,  at  the 
lower  end  of  the  table.  The  same  objections  do  not 
apply  to  a  lady  resigning  her  situation  to  the  gentleman 
who  would  otherwise  be  placed  at  her  right  hand ;  be- 
cause, if  he  is  to  carve,  he  can  do  so  with  more  ease  when 
situated  al  the  head  of  the  table,  and  the  lady  is  left  more 


CARVING.  60 

free  to  distribute  her  attention  and  conversation  to  those 
who  surround  her.  To  a  young  woman  in  particular  this 
is  allowable ;  the  graceful  deportment  of  a  lady  at  her 
own  table,  which  is  generally  so  pleasing  to  her  husband, 
would  be  much  diminished,  if  she  were  either  obliged  to 
carve,  or  her  attention  were  directed  too  much  to  the  sup- 
plying the  plates  of  her  visiters.  Ladies,  however,  who 
have  been  married  some  years,  generally  prefer  to  carve 
for  themselves  ;  and,  as  habit  has  made  them  expert,  they 
manage  it  without  being  too  much  engrossed  by  it. 

MRS.  L. — Although  carving  may  not  be  absolutely  es- 
sential in  a  lady,  do  you  not  think  it  a  desirable  art  for 
every  one  to  acquire  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly.  Every  lady  sheu1dbe  able,  when 
occasion  calls  for  it,  to  carve  without  awkwardness,  and 
should  know  what  are  considered  the  delicate  parts  of 
every  dish  that  comes  before  her,  that  she  may  be  able  to 
point  them  out  to  others.  When  she  herself  carves,  she 
has  to  set  an  example  to  her  servants  of  neatness  and  care ; 
for,  besides  the  disagreeable  appearance  of  a  badly-carved 
dish,  the  waste  that  attends  it  is  not  inconsiderable,  and  it 
should  be  remembered,  that  when  carelessness  in  this  par- 
ticular, or,  indeed  in  any  other,  characterizes  the  head  of 
a  family,  the  example  spreads  throughout  every  other 
branch  of  it. 

MRS.  L. — Will  you  oblige  me  with  some  directions  on 
this  point  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  following  rules  will,  perhaps,  assist  you ; 
and,  to  render  them  more  intelligible,  they  are  illustrated 
by  rough  drawings,  dotted  where  the  joints  or  contents  of 
the  dishes  ought  to  be  cut. 

In  the  first  place  :  the  carving-knife  should  be  light  and 
sharp  ;  and  it  should  be  firmly  grasped  ;  although  in  using 
it,  strength  is  not  as  essential  as  skill,  particularly  if  the 
butcher  has  properly  divided  the  bones  of  such  joints  as 
the  neck,  loin,  and  breast  of  veal  or  of  mutton. 


70  DINNER  PARTIES. 

The  dish  should  not  he  far  from  the  carver  ;  for  whea 
it  is  too  distant,  by  occasioning  the  arms  to  be  too  much 
extended,  it  gives  an  awkward  appearance  to  the  person^ 
and  renders  the  task  more  difficult. 

In  carving  fish,  care  should  be  taken  not  to  break  the 
flakes,  and  this  is  best  avoided  by  the  use  of  a  fish  trowel, 
which  not  being  sharp,  divides  it  better  than  a  steel  knife. 
Examine  this  little  drawing,  and  you  will  see  how  a  cod's 
head  and  shoulders  should  be  carved.* 


The  first  piece  may  be  taken  off  in  the  direction  of  a  b, 
by  putting  in  the  trowel  at  the  back  or  thick  part  of  the 
fish,  and  the  rest  in  successive  order.  A  small  part  of  the 
sound  should  be  given  with  each  slice,  and  will  be  found 
close  to  the  back-bone,  by  raising  the  thin  flap  d.  It  is 
known  by  being  darker  coloured  and  more  transparent 
than  the  other  parts  of  the  fish.  Almost  every  part  of  a 
cod's  head  is  considered  good  ;  the  palate,  the  tongue,  the 
jelly,  and  firm  parts,  e  e,  upon  and  immediately  around  the 
jaw  and  bones  of  the  head,  are  considered  as  delicate  eat- 
ing by  many  persons. 

*  The  head  and  shoulders  of  a  cod  contain  the  richest  and  best  part  of  thto 
excellent  fish.— Am.  Ed. 


CARVING.  71 

A  boiled  fowl  has  the  legs  bent  inward  (see  Jig.  2.)» 
and  fastened  to  the  sides  by  a  skewer,  which  is  removed 
before  the  fowl  is  -sent  to  table.  A  roasted  fowl  should 
not  have  any  part  of  the  legs  cut  off,  as  in  the  boiled 
fowl  ;  but  after  they  have  been  properly  scraped  and 
washed,  they  are  drawn  together  at  the  very  extremity  of 
the  breast.  A  boiled  and  a  roasted  fowl  are  each  carved 
in  the  same  manner.  The  wings  are  taken  off  in  the  di- 
rection of  a  to  6  (Jig.  2.).  Your  knife  must  divide  the 
joint,  but  afterwards  you  have  only  to  take  firm  hold  of 
the  pinion  with  your  fork,  draw  the  wing  towards  the  legs, 
and  you  will  find  that  the  muscles  separate  better  than  if 
you  cut  them  with  your  knife.  Slip  your  knife  between 
the  leg  and  the  body,  and  cut  to  the  bone,  then  with  the 
fork  turn  the  leg  back,  and,  if  the  fowl  be  not  a  very  old 
one,  the  joints  will  give  way. 

Fig.  2. 


After  the  four  quarters  are  thus  removed,  enter  the  knife 
at  the  breast,  in  the  direction  c  d  (-Jig.  3.),  and  you  will 


72  DINNER  PARTIES. 

*.- 

separate  the  merrythought  from  the  breast-bone  ;  and  by 
placing  your  knife  under  it,  lift  it  up,  pressing  it  back- 
wards  on  the  dish,  and  you  will  easily  remove  that  bone, 
The  collar-bones,  e  e,  lie  on  each  side  the  merrythought, 
and  are  to  be  lifted  up  at  the  broad  end,  by  the  knife,  and 
forced  towards  the  breast-bone,  till  the  part  which  is  fast- 
ened to  it  breaks  off.  The  breast  is  next  to  be  separated 
from  the  carcass,  by  cutting  through  the  ribs  on  each  side, 
from  one  end  of  the  fowl  to  the  other.  The  back  is  then 
laid  upwards,  and  the  knife  passed  firmly  across  it,  near 
the  middle,  while  the  fork  lifts  up  the  other  end.  The 
side  bones  are  lastly  to  be  separated ;  to  do  which  turn 
the  back  from  you,  and  on  each  side  the  back-bone,  in 
the  direction  of  g  g  (Jig.  4.), 

Fig.  4. 


you  will  find  a  joint,  which  you  must  separate,  and  the 
cutting  up  of  the  fowl  will  be  complete. 

Ducks  and  partridges  are  to  be  cut  up  in  the  same 
manner;  in  the  latter,  however,  the  merrythought  is 
seldom  separated  from  the  breast,  unless  the  birds  are  very 
large. 

Turkeys  and  geese  have  slices  cut  on  each  side  of  the 
breast-bone,  and  by  beginning  to  cut  from  the  wings  up- 
wards to  the  breast-bone,  many  more  slices  may  be  obtained 
than  if  you  cut  from  the  breast-bone  to  the  wings,  although 
I  do  not  think  the  slices  are  quite  as  handsome  as  if  cut 
in  the  latter  method. 


CARVING.  73 

Pigeons  (seeflg  6)  are  either  cut  from  the  neck  to  fl, 


which  is  the  fairest  way,  or  from  b  to  c,  which  is  now  the 
most  fashionable  mode  ;  and  the  lower  part  is  esteemed 
the  best. 

There  are  two  ways  of  carving  a  hare.  When  it  is 
young,  the  knife  may  be  entered  near  the  shoulder  at  a 
(see  Jig.  7.),  and  cut  down  to  6,  on  each  side  of  the  back- 


hone  ;  and  thus  the  hare  will  be  divided  into  three  parts. 
The  back  is  to  be  again  divided  into  four  parts,  where 
the  dotted  lines  are  in  the  cut :  these  and  the  legs  are  con- 
sidered the  best  parts,  though  the  shoulders  are  preferred 
by  some,  and  are  to  be  taken  off  in  the  direction  of  c  d  e 
7 


74  DINNER   PARTIES. 

The  pieces  should  be  laid  neatly  on  the  plates,  as  they  are 
separated,  and  each  plate  served  with  stuffing  and  gravy. 
When  the  hare  is  old,  it  is  better  not  to  attempt  the  division 
down  the  back,  which  would  require  much  strength ;  but 
the  legs  should  be  separated  from  the  body  at^  and  then 
the  meat  cut  off  from  each  side,  and  divided  into  mode- 
rate-sized pieces.  If  the  brains  and  ears  are  required, 
cut  off  the  head,  and  put  your  knife  between  the  upper 
and  lower  jaw,  and  divide  them,  which  will  enable  you 
to  lay  the  upper  jaw  flat  on  the  dish  :  then  force  the  point 
of  your  knife  into  the  centre,  and  having  cut  the  head  into 
two  parts,  distribute  the  brains  with  the  ears  to  those  who 
like  them. 

Rabbits  are  carved  in  the  same  manner  as  a  hare,  except 
that  the  back  is  divided  only  into  two  pieces,  which,  with 
the  legs,  are  considered  the  most  delicate  parts. 

A  Ham  is  generally  cut  in  the  direction  of  a  to  6,  Jig.  8., 

Fig.  8. 


down  to  the  bone,  and  through  the  prime  part  of  the  ham. 
Another  way  is  to  cut  a  small  hole  at  c,  and  to  enlarge  it 
by  cutting  circular  pieces  out  of  it ;  this  method  brings 
you  to  the  best  part  of  the  ham  directly,  and  has  an  ad- 
vantage over  the  other  in  keeping  in  the  gravy. 

A  leg  of  mutton  is  more  easily  carved  than  any  other 
joint,  but  nevertheless  there  is  a  mode  of  doing  it  neatly, 
which  should  be  observed.  The  first  slice  should  be 


CAKVING.  76 

taken  out  at  a  (fig.  9.)  between  the  knuckle  b  and  the 
Fig.  9» 


1hick  end ;  and  the  second  and  subsequent  slices  should 
be  cut  in  this  direction*  until  you  are  stopped  by  the 
cramp-bone  at  c ;  then  turn  it  up,  and  take  the  remaining 
slices  from  the  back,  in  a  longitudinal  direction.  When 
Ihe  leg  is  rather  lean,  help  some  fat  from  the  broad  end 
with  each  slice.  The  best  and  most  juicy  slices  are  to- 
wards the  broad  end  :  but  some  persons  prefer  the 
knuckle  :  and  where  economy  is  an  object,  the  knuckle 
should  always  be  eaten  when  the  joint  is  hot,  as  it  becomes 
very  dry  when  cold.  If  the  joint  is  to  be  brought  again 
to  table,  it  has  a  much  neater  and  more  respectable  ap- 
pearance if  it  be  helped,  altogether,  from  the  knuckle 
end,  when  it  is  hot.  This  direction  may  appear  trifling  ; 
but  a  good  economist  knows  the  importance  of  carving-, 
when  the  circumstances  of  a  family  require  that  a  joint 
be  brought  a  second  time  to  table. 


76 


DINNER   PARTIES. 

A  haunch  of  venison  (fig.  10.)  should  be  cut  down  tc- 
Fig.  10. 

a, 


the  bone  in  the  direction  of  the  line  a  b  c,  by  which  means 
the  gravy  is  allowed  to  flow  out :  then  the  carver,  turning 
the  broad  end  of  the  haunch  towards  him,  should  cut  in 
deep  from  b  to  d.  He  then  cuts  thin  slices  in  the  same 
direction,  taking  care  to  give  to  each  person  whom  he 
helps  a  due  proportion  of  fat,  which  is,  by  lovers  of  veni- 
son, highly  prized  :  there  is  generally  more  of  this  delicacy 
on  the  left  side  of  b  d  than  on  the  other  side. 

A  haunch  of  mutton  is  carved  in  the  same  manner  as 
venison. 

A  saddle  of  mutton  (fig.  11.)  is  cut  from  the  tail  to  the 
Fig.  11. 


CABVIXti.  77 

end  on  each  side  the  back-bone,  in  the  direction  of  the 
lines  a  6,  continuing  downwards  to  the  edge  c,  until  it  be- 
come too  fat.  The  slices  should  be  cut  thin,  and  if  the 
joint  be  a  large  one,  they  may  be  divided  into  two  parts. 
The  fat  will  be  found  on  the  sides. 

A  sucking  pig  is  cut  up  before  it  is  sent  to  table.  The 
ribs  may  be  divided  into  two  parts  as  well  as  the  joints. 
The  ribs  are  considered  the  finest  part,  and  the  neck  end 
under  the  shoulder.  Part  of  the  kidneys  should  be  added 
to  each  helping. 

A  shoulder  of  mutton,  if  properly  roasted,  is  supposed 
to  yield  many  choice  pieces,  but  this  depends  very  much 
upon  the  carver.  The  first  cut  should  be  in  the  direction 
r-  &  (fig-  120  J  an(*»  a^er  taking  a  few  slices  on  each  side 

Fig.  12. 


of  the  gap  which  follows  the  first  cut,  some  good  slices 
may  be  obtained  on  each  side  of  the  ridge  of  the  shoulder- 
blade,  in  the  direction  c  d.  When  the  party  is  numerous, 
slices  may  be  taken  from  the  under  side ;  and  it  is  on  this 
side,  under  the  edge  c,  that  the  fat  is  found.* 

*  Another  way  of  carving  a  shoulder  of  mutton,  and  one  which  many 
persons  prefer,  is  in  slices  from  the  knuckle  to  the  broad  end  of  the  shoulder, 
beginning  on  the  outside.  See  the  lines  /  and  a-. 


<U  DINNEB  PARTIES. 

MRS.  L.— Will  you  oblige  me  by  specifying,  more 
particularly,  the  parts  which  are  considered  as  the  most 
delicate  of  those  dishes  which  are  usually  placed  at  the 
head  of  the  table  ? 

MRS.  B. — Of  a  Turbot  the  thickest  part  is  considered 
the  best ;  but  the  fins  are  regarded  as  delicacies,  and  a 
small  portion  of  them  should  be  offered  to  every  one  to 
whom  the  fish  is  sent.  Those,  however,  who  care  less 
for  appearance  and  fashion,  and  are  acquainted  with  this 
fish,  prefer  the  back  or  brown  side  ;  and  it  certainly  has 
more  flavour  than  the  white  side. 

Of  Salmon  a  portion  both  of  the  thick  and  the  thin  part 
should  be  given ;  but  of  Cod,  the  thin  part  not  being  ge- 
nerally reckoned  the  best,  the  thick  white  flakes,  with  the 
sound  and  the  firm  parts  about  the  head,  are  the  most 
esteemed.  The  middle  part  of  Soles,  Haddocks,  large 
Whitings,  and  Trout,  is  the  preferable  part,  but  the  tail 
end  is  the  best  part  of  the  Mackarel.  A  part  of  the  roe 
or  milt  and  liver,  should  be  distributed  to  each  plate ;  and 
in  helping  flaky  fish,  such  as  cod  and  haddock,  care  should 
be  taken  to  lift  the  flakes  from  the  bone  without  breaking 
them. 

Though  few  joints  are  placed  at  the  head  of  the  table, 
still  it  is  desirable  that  every  lady  should  be  able  to  carve 
them  judiciously.  In  a  Breast  of  Veal,  the  best  slices  are 
to  be  had  from  the  brisket ;  in  a  Leg  of  Lamb,  from  the 
middle,  between  the  knuckle  and  the  thick  end.  In  the 
CalPs  Head,  the  fleshy  glandular  portion  near  the  neck  is 
the  best :  whilst  the  eye,  neatly  taken  out  with  the  point  of 
the  carving-knife,  and  the  palate,  are  the  most  delicate  parts. 

The  breasts,  the  wings,  and  the  merry-thoughts  of  all 
kinds  of  poultry,  and  feathered  game,  are  the  most  es- 
teemed, with  the  exception  of  the  Woodcock,  the  legs  of 
which  are  preferred  to  any  other  part.  The  tip  of  the 
wing  of  the  Partridge  is  a  morsel  highly  prized  by  the 
epicure  in  eating. 


DRINKING  HEALTHS.  79 

MRS.  L.— Can  a  lady  refuse  to  take  wine  with  a  gen- 
tleman when  requested  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  is  not  the  custom  to  refuse  the  request,  nor 
is  it  considered  polite ;  though  1  think  it  may  be  done, 
provided  the  manner  in  which  it  is  done  be  so  tempered 
by  politeness  as  to  avoid  the  unpleasantness  of  offending.* 

MRS.  L. — What  is  your  opinion  with  regard  to  the  dis- 
continuance of  the  old  custom  of  drinking  healths  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  think  the  total  omission  of  the  old  custom 
not  altogether  defensible  ;  for,  although  the  routine  of 
drinking  healths  by  every  individual  is  a  formality  which 
may  be  well  dispensed  with,  yet  I  should  prefer  the  an- 
cient fashion  to  be  preserved,  as  far  as  regards  the  friends 
at  whose  social  board  we  are  guests,  and  whose  attentions 
seem  to  claim  some  acknowledgment  and  tribute  of  respect 
on  our  parts.  There  is  in  my  mind  an  apparent  heartless- 
ness  in  the  present  fashion ;  and  a  little  of  that  honest 
warmth  which  characterized  the  rude  hospitality  of  our 
forefathers  would  not  detract  from  the  refinement  of  the 
present  age,  but  would  increase  the  pleasures  of  the  social 
table.  Toasts,  on  the  contrary,  are  properly  exploded ; 
for  they  restrained  the  liberty  of  the  guest,  and  forced 
him  to  take  more  wine  than  he  might  desire  ;  and  although 
few  were  ever  given  in  the  presence  of  the  ladies,  yet 
those  that  passed  after  they  had  retired  kept  the  gentlemen 
from  the  drawing-room  in  the  evening,  which  you  may 
think  a  sufficient  reason  why  the  female  part  of  society 
should  discountenance  the  drinking  of  toasts. 

MRS.  L. — Will  you  permit  me  to  say,  that  I  think  the 
ladies  retire,  in  general,  too  soon  from  the  dining-room. 
I  have  perceived  the  lady  of  the  house,  frequently,  rest- 
less and  uneasy,  until  she  could  find  an  opportunity  of 
carrying  off  the  female  part  of  her  visiters ;  and  as  every 

*  In  taking  a  glass  of  wine,  it  is  not  necessary  that  a  lady  should  drink  it. 
By  merely  tasting,  she  performs  all  that  politeness  requires,  and  thereby  avoids 
giving  offence.—  Amtr.  Ed. 


80  DINNER  PARTIES. 

gentleman  to  whom  I  have  spoken  on  this  subject  has 
condemned  this  fashion,  I  should  wish  to  hear  your  opi- 
nion as  to  the  time  at  which  the  withdrawing  should 
take  place. 

MRS.  B. — The  custom  for  the  ladies  to  retire  soon  after 
dinner  is  the  relic  of  a  barbarous  age,  when  the  bottle 
circulated  so  freely,  and  toast  upon  toast  succeeded  each 
other  so  rapidly,  that  the  gentlemen  of  a  company  soon 
became  unfit  to  conduct  themselves  with  the  decorum  es- 
sential in  the  presence  of  the  female  sex.  But  in  the  pre- 
sent age,  when  temperance  is  a  striking  feature  in  the 
character  of  a  gentleman  ;  and  when  delicacy  of  conduct 
towards  the  female  sex  has  increased  with  the  esteem  in 
which  they  are  now  held,  on  account  of  their  superior 
education  and  attainments,  the  early  withdrawing  of  the 
ladies  from  the  dining-room  is  to  be  deprecated ;  as  it 
prevents  much  conversation  which  might  afford  gratifica- 
tion and  amusement,  both  to  the  ladies  and  the  gentle- 
men. The  truth  of  this  remark  is  almost  generally  ac- 
knowledged in  polite  circles  ;  and  it  is  not,  now,  customary 
for  the  ladies  to  retire  very  soon  after  dinner.  A  lapse  in 
the  conversation  will  occasionally  indicate  a  seasonable 
time  for  the  change  to  take  place. 

I  may  take  this  opportunity  of  remarking,  that  servants 
should  be  instructed  to  attend  to  the  drawing-room  fire, 
and  to  prepare  the  lights  after  dinner.  Prints,  periodical 
works,  or  other  publications  of  a  light  kind,  ought  to  be 
dispersed  about  the  room,  and  are  sometimes  useful  to 
engage  the  attention,  when  any  thing  like  ennui  is  ob- 
servable. Coffee  should  be  brought  up  soon,  and  the  gen- 
tlemen summoned. 

MRS.  L. — It  is  not  usual,  I  believe,  for  a  lady  to  be  in 
full  dress  when  she  entertains  a  party  at  dinner. 

MRS.  B. — The  dress  of  a  lady  at  dinner  parties  should 
be  plainer  at  home  than  abroad ;  otherwise  a  reflection 
might  be  implied  on  such  of  her  guests  whose  dress  is  in- 


EVENING  PARTIES.  81 

ferior;  bul,  in  the  evening  parties,  the  lady  of  the  house 
is  generally  full  dressed. 

§  3.      EVENING  PARTIES. 

MRS.  L. — You  have  obliged  me  very  much  by  these 
useful  directions  for  the  conducting  of  a  dinner  party. 
Will  you  now  give  me  some  instructions  on  the  manage- 
ment of  evening  parties  ? 

MRS.  B. — Evening  parties  have  various  denominations, 
but  differ  from  each  other  rather  in  the  amusements  than 
in  the  manner  of  conducting  them.  They  consist  of  balls, 
at  which,  you  know,  dancing  alone  is  the  amusement : — 
routs,  which  comprehend  a  crowd  of  persons  in  full  dress 
assembled  to  pay  their  respects  to  the  lady  of  the  house, 
and  to  converse,  occasionally,  with  such  of  their  ac- 
quaintance as  they  may  chance  to  encounter  in  the  throng  : 
— conversaziones,  in  which,  as  the  term  implies,  conver- 
sation has  the  lead;  but  the  tedium  which  this  might 
occasion  to  some  of  the  guests,  by  its  unvaried  continuance, 
is  prevented  by  the  occasional  introduction  of  music  and 
dancing,  and  card  parties. 

MRS.  L.— How  long  before  a  ball  is  given  should  the 
invitations  be  issued  ? 

MRS.  B.— A  month  at  least,  or  even  six  weeks  ;  and  the 
invitation  (printed  from  a  copper-plate  on  cards)  is  usually 
either  in  this  form,  or  in  the  one  that  follows : 


Mrs. 

AT  HOME, 

Tuesday,  May,  30th. 


Quadrille*. 


82  EVENING  PABTTES. 


Mrs.  C1       H 
REQUESTS  THE  PLEASURE  OF 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  W—  M—'s 
COMPANY  TO  AN   EVENING  PARTY, 

Wednesday,  March  f>th. 

Dancing.  The  Favour  of  an  Answer  is  desired. 


As  the  company  is  generally  numerous  at  balls,  it  is 
neither  necessary,  nor  is  it  expected,  to  be  so  select  as  at 
smaller  parties.  On  these  occasions  the  rooms  may  be 
well  filled,  although  too  great  a  crowd  should  be  avoided. 
The  majority  ought,  of  course,  to  be  juvenile,  and  the 
number  of  gentlemen  should  be  equal  to,  or  even  exceed, 
that  of  the  ladies. 

I  need  scarcely  remind  you  of  the  great  advantage  of 
being  beforehand,  in  all  the  necessary  preparations  for 
parties  of  every  kind.  Early  in  the  day,  the  sofas,  chairs, 
and  tables  should  be  removed,  as  well  as  every  other 
piece  of  furniture  which  is  likely  either  to  be  in  the  way 
Or  to  be  injured :  forms  should  be  placed  round  the  walls 
of  the  room,  as  occupying  less  space  than  chairs,  and  ac- 
commodating more  persons  with  seats.  A  ball-room 
should  be  brilliantly  lighted,  and  this  is  done  in  the  best 
style  by  a  chandelier  or  lamp  suspended  from  the  centre 
of  the  ceiling,  which  diffuses  an  equal  light,  while  it  adds 
to  the  elegant  appearance  of  the  room.  Lustres  placed 
on  the  mantel-piece,  and  branches  on  tripods  in  the  corners 
of  the  room,  are  also  extremely  ornamental. 

MRS.  L.— I  hope  you  recommend  chalking  the  floor, 
which  is  not  only  ornamental,  but  useful,  as  I  know  by 
experience,  in  preventing  those  awkward  and  disagree- 


BALLS.  83 

able  accidents  which  a  slippery  floor  inevitably  occasions 
among  the  lively  votaries  of  Terpsichore. 

MRS.  B. — A  chalked  floor  is  useful,  too,  in  disguising, 
for  the  time,  an  old  or  ill-coloured  floor,  which  would 
otherwise  form  a  miserable  contrast  to  the  elegant  chan- 
deliers, and  the  well-dressed  belles  and  beaux.  When 
the  season  will  allow  it,  we  must  not  forget  to  fill  the  fire- 
place with  flowers  and  plants,  which,  indeed,  form  an  ap- 
propriate and  pleasing  ornament  on  the  landing-places, 
and  in  other  parts  of  the  house  through  which  the  guests 
may  have  to  pass. 

In  consulting  the  beauty  of  the  fair  visitants,  those 
flowers  should  be  selected  which  reflect  colours  in  har- 
mony with  the  human  complexion  ;  as,  for  example,  the 
Rose,  the  early  white  Azalea,  the  white  and  pink  Hyacinth, 
and  other  flowers  of  similar  tints.  There  should  not  be 
an  over  proportion  of  green :  for,  as  this  colour  reflects 
the  blue  and  yellow  rays,  it  is  by  no  means  favourable  to 
the  female  complexion ;  and  still  worse  are  yellow  and 
orange-coloured  groups,  whether  of  natural  or  artificial 
flowers.  In  some  degree,  however,  the  flowers  should  be 
chosen  to  harmonize  also  with  the  colour  of  the  paper,  or 
the  walls  of  the  ball-room. 

The  music  should  always  be  good,  as  much  of  the 
pleasure  of  dancing  depends  upon  it.  Violins,  with  harp 
and  flute  accompaniments,  form  the  most  agreeable  band 
for  dancing. 

The  lady  of  the  house,  who  Is  expected  to  appear  in 
rather  conspicuous  full  dress,  should  be  in  readiness  to 
receive  her  guests  in  good  time  ;  allowing  herself  a  few 
minutes'  leisure  to  survey  her  rooms,  to  ascertain  that 
every  thing  is  in  proper  order,  and  that  nothing  is  defective 
in  any  of  her  arrangements.  The  arrival  of  her  guests 
will  be  between  the  hours  of  nine  and  twelve. 

A  retiring  room  should  be  in  readiness  for  ladies  who 
may  wish  to  disburthen  themselves  of  shawls  and  cloaks ; 


84  EVENING  PARTIES. 

and  here  a  female  should  be  in  attendance  to  receive  them, 
and  to  perform  any  little  office  of  neatness  which  a  lady's 
dress  may  accidentally  require.  Tea  and  coffee  may 
also  be  presented  in  this  room,  if  any  be  deemed  neces- 
sary ;  but  of  late  the  custom  of  introducing  these  refresh- 
ments at  balls  has  been  nearly  abolished. 

Three  men  servants,  at  least,  are  necessary,  and  as  many 
more  as  the  sphere  of  life  of  the  individual  who  gives  the 
ball  sanctions.  One  servant  should  attend  at  the  door  of 
the  house  ;  and  receiving  the  names  of  the  company  as 
they  arrive,  he  should  transmit  them  to  another,  who  should 
conduct  the  party  into  the  ante-room,  while  he  in  turn 
communicates  their  arrival  to  a  third  at  the  drawing-room 
door,  who  should  announce  them  to  the  lady  of  the  house. 
Her  station  should  be  as  near  the  entrance  of  the  room  as 
possible,  that  her  friends  may  not  have  to  search  for  her 
to  whom,  of  course,  they  wish  first  to  pay  their  respects, 
and  from  whom  they  expect  their  welcome.  As  soon  as  a 
sufficient  number  of  dancers  are  arrived,  the  young  people 
should  be  introduced  to  partners,  that  they  may  not,  by 
any  unreasonable  delay  of  their  expected  amusement,  lose 
their  self-complacency,  and  cast  the  reflection  of  dulness 
on  the  party.  When  the  lady  of  the  house  is  a  dancer, 
she  generally  commences  the  dance ;  but  when  this  is  not 
the  case,  her  husband  should  lead  out  the  greatest  stranger, 
or  person  of  highest  rank  present :  and  while  one  dance  is 
proceeding,  la  Maitresse  du  bal,  if  a  French  term  be 
allowable,  should  be  preparing  another  set  of  dancers  to 
take  the  place  of  those  upon  the  floor  as  soon  as  they  have 
finished.  Nothing  displays  more  want  of  management 
and  method,  than  a  dead  pause  after  a  dance  ;  while  the 
lady,all  confusion  at  so  disagreeable  a  circumst  mce,is  beg- 
ging those  to  take  their  places  who  have,  perhaps,  never 
bee«  introduced  to  partners.  There  should  be  no  mono- 
poly of  this  delightful  recreation,  but  all  the  dancers  in 
ihe  parry  should  enjoy  it  in  regular  succession. 


BALLS.  85 

Refreshments,  such  as  ices,  lemonade,  negus,  and  small 
rout  cakes,  should  be  handed  round  between  every  two 
OF  three  dances,  unless  a  room  be  appropriated  for  such 
refreshments.  Supper  should  be  announced  at  half-past 
twelve  or  at  one  o'clock,  never  later :  and  each  gentleman 
should  then  be  requested  to  take  charge  of  a  lady  to  the 
supper-room.  Both  with  regard  to  the  pleasure  of  her 
company,  and  her  own  comfort,  La  Maitresse  would  do 
well  to  discountenance  the  habit,  which  is  sometimes 
sanctioned,  of  the  gentlemen  remaining  long  in  the  supper- 
room  after  the  ladies  have  retired. 

MRS.  L. — Indeed,  I  entirely  agree  with  you  in  this 
opinion,  for  when  the  gentlemen  remain  in  the  supper- 
room,  it  frequently  causes  a  formal  party  of  silent  and 
listless  fair  ones,  who  seem  to  consider  this  temporary 
suspension  of  their  amusement  as  an  evil  of  sufficient 
magnitude  to  rob  their  countenances  of  the  smiles  of 
cheerfulness  and  good-humour,  which  they  had  worn 
during  the  preceding  part  of  the  evening.  As  our  gentle 
islanders  lose  half  their  charms  when  they  lose  their  good 
humour,  it  is  charitable  to  them  to  prevent,  if  possible, 
this  half-hour  of  discomfiture.  Of  what,  my  dear  madam, 
should  a  supper  for  such  a  party  consist  ?  Is  it  an  expen- 
sive addition  to  the  entertainment  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  variety  of  little  delicacies  of  which  sup- 
pers generally  consist,  makes  them  rather  expensive. 
The  table  is  usually  crowded  with  dishes,  which,  how- 
ever, contain  nothing  of  a  more  solid  nature  than  chickens, 
tongue,  collared  eels,  prawns,  lobsters,*  trifles,  jellies* 
blancmange,  whips,  fruit,  ornamental  confectionary,  &c. 
French  wines  are  frequently  presented  at  suppers.  As  it 
would  be  scarcely  possible  to  seat  a  very  large  party  at 
once  at  a  supper-table,  it  is  advisable  to  keep  one  part  of 

*  To  these  may  be  added,  ham  cut  into  thin  slices,  and  oysters  both  stewed 
and  pickled.    Prawns  are  not  to  be  obtained ;  and  eels,  though  a  good  eatabte 
fish,  are  too  common,  and  not  fashionable  in  the  United  Stales.— .imer.  Ed 
S 


86  EVENING  PARTIES. 

the  company  dancing  in  the  ball-room,  while  another  is  at 
supper :  and,  even  in  this  case,  the  gentlemen  need  not  be 
seated  nor  sup  until  the  ladies  have  retired.  Very  little 
apparent  exertion  is  necessary  in  the  lady  of  the  house, 
yet  should  she  contrive  to  speak  to  most  of  her  guests 
some  time  during  the  evening,  and  to  the  greatest  strangers 
she  should  pay  more  marked  attention. 

MRS.  L. — What  ceremonies  are  to  be  observed  at  routs  ? 

MRS.  B.— The  preparations  for  a  rout,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  removing  the  carpet,  chalking  the  floor,  and  provi- 
ding music  and  a  supper,  are  similar  to  those  for  a  ball. 
The  same  announcements  are  requisite ;  the  lady  of  the 
house  is  required  to  receive  her  guests  in  the  same  man- 
ner ;  and  refreshments  are  to  be  provided  in  the  waiting- 
Foom :  but,  farther,  the  assembled  groups  are  left  to  amuse 
themselves,  if  amusement  can  be  found  in  a  crowd  resem- 
bling that  which  fills  the  lobbies  of  a  theatre  on  the  first 
night  of  a  new  performance.  To  a  person  unacquainted 
with  fashionable  life,  nothing  can  appear  more  extraordi- 
nary than  the  influence  of  fashion  in  these  gregarious  as- 
semblies. The  secret,  however,  is  this : — few  expect  any 
gratification  from  the  rout  itself;  but  the  whole  pleasure 
consists  in  the  anticipation  of  the  following  days'  gossip, 
Avhich  the  faintings,  tearing  of  dresses,  and  elbowings 
which  have  occurred,  are  likely  to  afford.  To  meet  a 
fashionable  friend  next  day  in  the  Park,  without  having 
been  at  Lady  A— *s,  would  be  sufficient  to  exclude  the  ab- 
sentee from  any  claim  to  ton;  while  to  have  been  squeezed 
into  a  corner  with  the  Marchioness  of  B — ,  or  the  Duchess 
of  C — ,  is  a  most  enviable  event,  and  capable  of  affording 
conversation  for  at  least  ten  days. 

MRS.  L.— Are  conversaziones  conducted  in  the  same 
manner  ? 

MRS.  B.— Not  exactly.    Conversaziones  are  more  select 

•  meetings  both  in  respect  to  the  number  and  the  characters 

of  the  individuals  who  are  invited.    To  routs  the  invita 


CAHD  PARTIES.  87 

lions  are  general  and  unlimited;  to  conversaziones  they 
are  limited,  and  the  individuals  are,  at  least,  supposed  to 
possess  a  taste  for  information,  whether  obtained  from 
books  or  from  conversation. 

This  description  of  evening  amusement  is  not,  however, 
general,  but  is  confined  either  to  literary  circles,  or  to  those 
persons  of  rank  and  fortune  who  wish  to  patronise  litera- 
ture. When  you  wish  to  give  a  conversazione,  the  party 
should  be  selected  with  some  care  ;  and  although  persons 
of  the  same  pursuits  should  be  brought  together,  yet 
individuals  of  the  most  opposite  characters  and  acquire- 
ments should  also  be  invited,  to  give  variety  and  interest 
to  the  conversation,  which  is  the  object  of  the  assembly. 
The  tables  should  be  spread  with  the  newest  publications, 
prints,  and  drawings  :  shells,  fossils,  and  other  natural  pro- 
ductions should,  also,  be  introduced,  to  excite  attention  and 
promote  remark. 

MRS.  L. — This  is  a  most  rational  species  of  entertain- 
ment. Why  is  it  so  little  in  fashion  ? 

MRS.  B. — One  cause  of  its  rarity  is  the  mania  which 
prevails  for  music,  without  which  no  species  of  entertain- 
ment is  regarded  worthy  of  attention.  This  is  a  circum- 
stance to  be  lamented,  for  nothing  would  contribute  more 
to  the  general  diffusion  of  information,  and  consequently 
to  the  improvement  of  society. 

MRS.  L. — How  are  card  parties  conducted  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  invitations  to  these  are  similar  to  those 
issued  for  routs  and  balls,  with  the  change  of  the  word, 
"  quadrilles,"  to  "  cards."  As  many  should  be  invited 
as  will  fill  up  a  certain  number  of  whist  tables,  with  the 
addition  of  a  loo  or  round  table.  Tea  and  coffee  are 
handed  to  the  guests  on  their  arrival,  and  wine,  cakes,  and 
ices  are  handed  round  to  the  players  at  intervals  during 
the  evening.  Each  whist  table  should  be  furnished  with 
at  least  two  new  packs  of  cards,  differently  coloured  on 
the  backs,  besides  counters  for  markers.  The  lady  of  the 


88  EVENING  PASTIES. 

house  generally  fixes  the  value  of  the  points,  which  deter- 
mine the  game;  and  she  should,  also,  be  prepared  to 
change  the  players  at  table,  as  soon  as  the  rubber  is  de- 
clared to  be  over  As  all  the  company  is  not  always 
engaged  in  play,  the  lady  of  the  house,  as  well  as  her 
husband,  should  remain  disengaged,  to  lead  into  conversa- 
tion those  who  are  strangers  to  one  another,  and  to  promote 
the  general  amusement  of  the  guests. 

MRS.  L. — According  to  your  account,  conversaziones 
and  card  parties  may  be  united  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly ;  and  these  are,  perhaps,  the  most 
rational  description  of  evening  entertainments  in  the  me- 
tropolis. The  introduction  of  cards,  takes  off  the  air  ot 
pedantry  which  is  supposed  to  pervade  a  pure  conver- 
sazione, while  the  introduction  of  conversation  at  card  par- 
ties, sets  aside  the  character  of  gaming,  which  might  be 
attached  10  a  party  met  solely  for  the  purposes  of  play. 
Many  of  our  ablest  men  of  science  and  in  literature,  are 
fond  of  whist,  and  would  willingly  go  to  such  a  mixed 
party,  although  they  would  hesitate  to  attend  one  purely 
conversational,  or  convened  solely  for  card-playing. 

Such  are  the  forms  of  visiting  in  London  and  its  imme- 
diate neighbourhood.  Perhaps  in  other  parts  of  the  king- 
dom there  may  be,  in  some  few  particulars,  a  difference 
in  form,  but  I  do  not  apprehend  that  to  be  the  case  in  any 
essential  points.  But  it  is  now  time  to  dress  for  dinner, 
and  I  am  afraid  this  conversation  is  not  closed  before  you 
are  completely  tired  of  its  minuteness  in  detail. 


89 


CONVERSATION  VII. 

ECONOMY.— DRESS  AND  EXPENSIVE  TASTES. — COLLECTIONS 
OF  WORKS  OF  ART. — OLD  CHINA.— LIBERALITY.— BENE- 
VOLENCE.— PRESENTS. — FASHION. 

MRS.  B. — The  subjects  upon  which  I  intend  to  turn 
our  conversation  to-day,  may  not,  on  the  first  view,  appear 
to  you  of  much  importance ;  yet  I  do  not  believe  you 
will  find,  after  a  little  consideration,  the  time  ill  spent  which 
we  may  devote  to  them.  Want  of  judgment  and  reflection 
on  some  of  the  points  to  which  I  allude,  have  frequently 
occasioned  inconvenience  and  anxiety;  and  in  some  in- 
stances within  my  recollection,  have  even  led  to  impro- 
priety and  meanness  of  conduct  highly  censurable. 

MRS.  L. — I  suppose  it  is  of  economy  you  propose  to 
speak.  That  is  a  subject  which  wears  too  sober  an  aspect, 
to  be  much  courted  by  the  young  and  the  gay ;  and  I  own 
that  hitherto  I  have  very  little  considered  it,  or  encouraged 
the  habit  of  attending  to  its  precepts.  I  am,  however, 
aware  that  my  negligence  on  this  point  can  no  longer 
escape  with  impunity ;  for  I  find  already  that  the  claims 
on  my  purse  are  much  increased  in  my  new  sphere  of 
action.  Perhaps,  too,  a  feeling  of  regret,  that  I  am  as  yet 
so  complete  a  novice  in  many  things  which  are  become 
essential  to  my  comfort,  makes  me  enter  upon  this  topic 
with  more  willingness  than  I  once  thought  it  could  ever 
command  from  me. 

MRS.  B. — A  nearer  view  of  this  subject  will,  I  am  per- 
suaded, diminish  its  sombre  aspect.  It  is  not  parsimony, 
but  the  just  appropriation  of  income,  according  to  the 
rank,  style,  and  fortune  of  every  individual,  that  I  desire 
to  enforce.  Economy,  in  this  light,  is  a  virtue  as  worthy 
8* 


90  ECONOMY. 

to  be  practised  by  the  affluent,  as  by  those  in  limited  cir- 
cumstances. Whenever  I  hear  of  the  rich  acting  with  the 
littleness  of  the  poor, — of  their  being  compelled,  not  only 
to  restrain  every  generous  impulse,  but  to  delay  the  pay- 
ment of  their  just  debts,  frequently  to  the  detriment  of 
honest  and  laborious  people, — I  cannot  but  lament  their 
neglect  of  this  virtue,  the  observance  of  which  could  not 
fail  to  prevent  these  inconveniences,  and  increase  the  com- 
fort and  cheerfulness  of  general  society ;  while  it  would 
add  lustre  to  the  rank  and  character  of  the  great.  If 
those  who  have  limited  incomes  do  not  make  economy 
their  rule,  by  adapting  their  habits  to  their  fortunes,  and 
by  a  judicious  arrangement  of  their  expenses,  numberless 
must  be  the  inconveniences  and  trials  they  are  doomed  to 
undergo.  Necessity  will,  indeed,  teach  them  a  hard  les- 
son, which  the  practice  of  economy  might  have  spared 
them.  Extravagance  is  certainly  a  levelling  principle, 
which  renders  all  its  votaries  alike  needy ;  while  economy, 
if  it  have  not  the  power  of  alchymy,  at  least  confers  a 
twofold  value  on  every  possession. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  hitherto  considered  economy  as  a 
mean  quality,  unwortlr  my  attention,  or  as  requisite  only 
among  the  humble  orders  of  the  community;  but  this 
notion,  you  will  tell  me,  has  its  origin  from  misapprehension 
of  the  term  economy 

MRS.  B. — Your  remark  is  very  true.  The  species  of 
economy  which  is  of  general  use,  is  a  judicious  adaptation 
of  expenditure  to  income  (as  I  have  before  remarked), 
and  not  the  constant  struggle  to  diminish  expenses,  and  to 
save  in  every  iota.  When  necessity  requires  this  kind  of 
economy,  she  teaches  it  at  the  same  time  experimentally, 
which  is  more  effectual  than  any  theoretical  lesson.  But 
when  inclination  alone  prompts  the  vigilant  effort  to  save, 
a  narrow  and  avaricious  spirit  is  betrayed,  which  should 
be  checked  as  early  as  possible,  lest  it  should  in  later  life 
be  visible  in  all  the  ugliness  of  parsimony. 


DRESS.  91 

We  will  suppose  that  the  necessary  expenditure  of  an 
establishment,  suitable  to  the  rank  and  circumstances  of 
every  newly-married  couple,  has  been  ascertained,  as  in 
your  case ;  and  that  such  regulations  have  been  laid  down 
as  may  tend  to  keep  it  within  its  proper  bounds ;  then, 
the  next  point  to  be  investigated  is  the  extent  to  which 
personal  expenses  and  tastes  may  pro-  red. 

MRS.  L. — Will  you  favour  me  with  your  opinion  on 
dress,  which  appears  to  me  to  be  generally  too  much 
studied  before  marriage,  and  too  little  ai'terwards  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  am  afraid  your  remark  cannot  be  considered 
as  unjust,  though  I  am  inclined  to  think  that  negligence 
in  dress  is  a  less  common  failing  in  these  days  than  it  was 
half  a  century  ago.  The  want  of  mental  arrangement, 
of  which  it  is  a  disgusting  proof,  is  not  in  the  present  day 
left  to  the  counteracting  influence  of  vanity  alone,  but  to 
the  regular  and  systematic  education,  which  almost  every 
one  now  receives. 

MRS.  L. — But  I  think  I  have  observed  that  some  who 
possess  superior  talents  and  acquirements  have  been  very 
inattentive  to  the  minor  duties  of  life,  and  have  apparently 
imagined  themselves  free  to  omit  those  observances  which, 
in  my  opinion,  form  the  propriety  of  the  female  character. 
How  can  you  reconcile  this  remark  to  the  assertion  which 
you  have  just  made  respecting  the  effect  of  modern  educa- 
tion, in  giving  order  and  regulation  to  the  mind? 

MRS.  B. — We  must  not  condemn  a  system  because  all 
do  not  profit  by  it  equally,  although  it  is  true  that  talents 
and  acquirements  lose  half  their  value,  when  they  cause 
a  neglect  of  any  quality  by  which  the  comfort  or  well- 
doing of  a  domestic  circle  may  be  promoted.  Accom- 
plishments may  claim  some  share  of  time  and  attention  for 
the  purpose  of  ornamenting  and  refining  social  life,  but 
they  should  never  engross  the  mind  so  much  as  to  render 
impossible  or  distasteful  the  fulfilment  of  every  branch  of 
duty,  whether  of  great  or  of  little  importance. 


92  DRESS. 

MRS.  L.— Do  you  not  think  that  a  husband  has  reason 
to  complain,  if  his  wife  become  negligent  of  her  personal 
appearance  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly ;  and  she  is  deserving  of  censure 
if  her  aim  to  please  him,  as  her  husband,  be  less  than  that 
which  she  exerted  to  secure  him  as  her  lover.  That  effort 
which  was  an  act  of  inclination  before  her  marriage,  she 
should  consider  as  a  point  of  duty  afterwards  ;  nor  should 
inattention  to  any  thing  agreeable  to  him,  give  rise  to  the 
mortifying  suspicion,  that  the  desire  to  please  him  is  not 
so  impelling  a  principle  of  action,  as  he  had  perhaps 
flattered  himself  it  might  always  have  been.  Few  hus- 
bands are  indifferent  to  the  personal  appearance  of  their 
wives  ;  and  still  fewer  there  are  who  do  not  regard  negli- 
gence in  dress  with  even  more  disgust  than  it  perhaps 
deserves :  though  when  it  arrives  at  its  most  aggravated 
state  of  slovenliness  and  want  of  cleanliness,  it  becomes  a 
vice,  and  can  scarcely  be  too  much  contemned.  When 
this  is  perceptible  in  the  married  female,  it  needs  no 
augury  to  foretell  the  approach  of  want  of  order  and  regu- 
larity in  her  family,  and  the  loss  of  the  esteem  and  affection 
of  her  husband.  I  remember  a  young  couple,  with  whom 
I  became  acquainted  during  a  season  I  spent  at  Chelten- 
ham, who  appeared  to  enter  into  married  life  with  every 
advantage  which  health,  competency,  good  dispositions, 
and  partial  friends,  could  afford.  They  were  young,  and 
agreeable  in  manners,  conversation,  and  person :  to  each 
other  they  appeared,  and  really  were,  strongly  attached : 
the  most  perfect  confidence  subsisted  between  them  :  the 
wife  good-humouredly  acquiesced  in  the  wishes,  and  in- 
terested herself  in  the  pursuits,  of  the  husband :  while  he, 
in  his  turn,  was  proud  of  her  accomplishments,  and  de- 
lighted with  her  natural  vivacity.  They  seemed  to  be 
(to  use  a  common  phrase)  cut  out  for  a  happy  couple.  I 
really  experienced  considerable  regret  in  parting  with  this 
juvenile  pair;  and -was  not  reluctant  to  promise  them  a 


DRESS.  93 

visit  at  some  future  time,  at  their  residence  in  one  of  the 
midland  counties,  a  spot,  as  described  to  me  by  the  young 
man,  formed  by  nature  into  all  that  is  lovely,  and  improved 
by  art  into  all  that  is  elegant  and  comfortable.  Of  the 
truth  of  this  representation  I  was  enabled  ibur  years  after- 
wards to  judge,  by  paying  my  long-promised  visit. 

I  found  my  young  friends  the  parents  of  three  blooming 
children.  Their  house  appeared  to  me  to  afford  ample 
accommodation  for  such  a  family ;  their  servants  were  nu- 
merous, and  there  seemed  to  be  no  want  of  that  ready 
command  of  money  which  enables  us  to  obtain  every  or- 
dinary comfort.  Yet  I  soon  discovered  that  something 
was  deficient :  I  heard  the  husband  incessantly  complain 
of  the  negligence  of  his  servants,  the  mischievous  dispo- 
sition of  his  children,  and  the  disorder  of  the  various 
apartments  into  which  he  had  occasion  to  enter;  yet, 
though  he  had  at  times  an  air  of  petulancy,  he  did  not 
appear  to  be  an  ill-tempered  man.  I  could,  however,  per- 
ceive, that  these  annoyances  gave  him  little  chagrin  in 
comparison  with  the  daily  attire  ot  his  wife.  It  was,  in- 
deed, very  different  from  that  which  she  had  generally 
worn  during  the  time  she  passed  at  Cheltenham.  The 
quality  of  her  clothes  was  not  inferior ;  rather  the  con- 
trary, for  she  appeared  to  think  that  what  was  wanting 
in  neatness  and  grace,  might  be  compensated  by  expense 
and  profusion. 

If  she  dressed  herself  for  dinner,  her  gown  was  more 
sumptuous  than  the  occasion  required,  but  its  soiled  and 
crumpled  appearance,  and  the  slovenly  manner  in  which 
it  was  put  on,  destroyed  all  the  effect  she  intended,  and 
gave  a  vulgarity  to  her  appearance  which,  it  was  evident, 
her  husband  perceived  and  regretted.  Her  hair,  which 
she  had  formerly  dressed  with  attention,  was  usually  in 
such  a  state  of  disorder,  that  no  cap  or  bonnet  could  be- 
come her ;  and  the  other  arrangements  of  her  dress  were 
equally  neglected. 


94  DBESS. 

There  are  some  circumstances,  mere  trifles,  indeed. 
which  strongly  mark  a  woman  of  negligent  and  uncleanly 
habits ;  these  are,  want  of  attention  to  the  hair,  the  teeth, 
the  nails,  and  to  the  neatness  of  the  shoe,  and  the  quality 
and  cleanliness  of  the  stocking.  Females  who  are,  in 
youth,  careless  in  these  respects,  have  seldom  much  order 
©r  arrangement  in  other  particulars. 

This  was  the  case  with  uiy  young  friend.  Her  children 
were  proofs  of  her  habitual  and  increasing  negligence : 
their  persons,  as  well  as  their  clothes,  were  dirty,  and  their 
habits  disagreeable.  Her  servants,  over  whom  a  regular 
and  watchful  restraint  was  never  exercised,  evinced  how 
little  importance  their  mistress  attached  to  order  and 
cleanliness,  by  their  indifference  to  them.  Her  house, 
which  had  originally  every  requisite  for  comfort  which 
modern  ingenuity  can  supply,  was  neither  an  agreeable 
nor  a  peaceful  residence.  Her  husband,  although  at  heart 
much  attached  to  his  wife,  had  the  painful  emotion  of 
being  ashamed  of  his  house,  and  ashamed  of  his  wife  ; — 
and,  where  a  man  ceases  to  feel  some  portion  of  pride  in 
fhe  companion  he  has  chosen,  disgust  soon  step*  in,  and 
discord  follows. 

I  have  since  heard  that  my  Cheltenham  acquaintance 
are  spoken  of  in  their  own  neighbourhood  as  a  very  un- 
toappy  couple.  I  cannot  forbear  attributing  their  uneasi- 
ness to  the  want  of  attention  dis  » laved  by  the  wife  to 
matters  trifling  in  themselves  ;  but  which,  from  daily  re- 
currence, make  up  a  considerable  portion  of  the  sum  of 
domestic  happiness. 

MRS.  L.— But  surely  a  woman  would  not  be  .justified 
in  paying  much  attention  to  dress,  when  she  has  a  family 
to  regulate  and  control  ? 

MRS.  B. — Too  great  an  attention  to  the  cares  of  the 
toilet  is  not  only  an  error  in  itself,  but,  in  many  instances, 
its  attendant  expenses  are  truly  vexatious.  Dress,  it  is 
Irue,  may  be  considered  as  the  criterion  of  a  woman's 


EXPENSIVE    TASTES.  96 

taste.  One  moment's  survey  decides  the  question,  "  Is  it 
good  or  bad  ?"  And  even  in  this  glance,  the  spectator 
does  not  neglect  to  take  into  the  account,  whether  the  dress 
in  question.be  suitable  to  the  station  in  life,  to  the  circum- 
stances of  the  time,  the  figure,  and  the  complexion  of  its 
wearer.  If  he  perceive  that  fashion  has  not  been  servilely 
or  implicitly  followed  ;  that  peculiarity  has  been  avoided, 
and  simplicity  preferred  to  splendour,  the  opinion  he  forms 
must  be  in  favour  of  her  taste  ;  and  the  supposition  follows, 
of  course,  that  the  good  sense  which  directs  her  choice  of 
attire,  will  have  us  influence  over  every  thin^  of  vvhicb 
she  has  the  direction  and  control. 

On  the  contrary,  the  want  of  propriety  of  dress,  whether 
shown  in  the  neglect  of  the  person,  or  by  a  too  studied  and 
extravagant  pursuit  of  fashion,  makes  a  more  unfavourable 
impression  on  an  observing  mind,  than  mere  absence  of 
taste  would  produce.  In  the  one  case  indolence,  self-in- 
dulgence, and  many  other  symptoms  of  an  ill-regulated 
mind,  are  betrayed  ;  and  in  the  other  the  suspicion  cannot 
fail  to  arise,  that  the  mind  is  frivolous  and  vain,  which  has 
evidently  bestowed  so  much  precious  time  on  exterior  de- 
coration. 

I  am  inclined,  also,  to  suspect,  that  those  females  whose 
dress,  when  in  public  or  in  company,  appears  so  minutely 
studied,  are  frequently  negligent  and  slovenly  in  their 
hours  of  domestic  retirement;  thus,  for  the  vain-glory  of 
a  few  hours,  are  money,  time,  and  thought  squandered, 
which  would  have  been  amply  sufficient  to  have  adorned, 
cheered,  and  refined  whole  seasons  of  domestic  life. 

Another  error,  or  rather  folly,  is  not  uncommon ;  I  mean 
that  of  attempting  to  vie  in  dress  with  those  whom  supe- 
rior station  and  fortune  entitle  to  exterior  distinction.  To 
do  this,  is  to  abandon  propriety  and  good  taste,  and  to 
render  ourselves  liable  to,  and  deserving  of  ridicule  and 
contempt ;  besides  incurring  the  more  serious  inconve- 
niences arising  from  any  expense  which  is  incompatible 
with  our  fortunes. 


96  COLLECTIONS  OP  WOKKS  OP  ABT. 

MRS.  L. — There  are  several  objects  of  taste  in  which 
f  am  inclined  to  indulge,  provided  1  can  do  so  prudently  ; 
but  as  I  am  gaining  wisdom  by  your  instructions,  I  shall 
not  be  so  ready  as  formerly  to  gratify  any  propensity,  at 
the  expense  of  prudence. 

MRS.  B. — Under  due  regulations  you  may  indulge  most 
of  the  tastes  you  have  formerly  cultivated  ;  especially 
those  which  direct  the  attention  to  subjects  of  an  improving 
nature.  Some  are  anxious  to  collect  shells,  those  beautiful 
productions  of  the  deep,  which  interest  almost  every  eye  ; 
some,  the  still  ioveuer  ornaments  which  nature  presents 
in  the  vegetable  kingdom  ;  and  others  the  choicest  works 
of  art.  But  the  best  collections  of  shells  must  be  viewed 
as  mere  baubles,  affording  only  childish  pleasure,  if  unac- 
companied by  some  acquaintance  with  the  nature  and 
habits  of  their  briny,  little  artificers.  The  simplest  plant, 
also,  that  ornaments  the  garden  or  the  green-house,  would, 
if  examined,  tell  a  tale  of  wonder,  which  might  doubly 
augment  the  delight  with  which  its  form  and  colours  are 
surveyed  ;  and  the  finest  collection  of  engravings  may  be 
turned  over  carelessly  and  listlessly,  only  for  want  of  that 
general  knowledge,  by  which  the  mind  receives  an  insight 
into  the  merits  and  beauties  of  every  specimen  of  art.  Too 
many  admire  these  because  it  is  fashionable  to  do  so, 
without  feeling  any  interest  in  the  productions  of  nature, 
or  having  any  taste  for  the  merits  of  the  works  of  art ;  pre- 
ferring the  risk  of  having  their  false  pretensions  to  knowl- 
edge discovered,  rather  than  take  the  trouble  of  acquiring 
it.  I  have  seen  very  fine  collections  of  paintings  and 
drawings  in  the  possession  of  ladies,  who  knew  scarcely 
a  single  reason  for  the  admiration  which  they  drew  forth 
from  their  visiters,  beyond  what  had  been  drilled  into  them 
by  those  upon  whose  better  judgment  they  had  relied. 
To  display  a  collection  under  sucn  circumstances  is  to 
emblazon  ignorance. 

MRS.  L. — What  is  your  opinion  of  the  collectors  of  old 
china  ? 


BENEVOLENCE  AND  CHASITY.  97 

MRS.  B.— The  taste,  if  it  deserve  that  name,  for  old 
china,  has  been  introduced  by  fashion ;  and  as  the  value 
of  such  collections  depends  chiefly  upon  so  arbitrary  and 
versatile  a  power,  it  is  not  a  research  worthy  of  much  in- 
dulgence. To  spend  any  considerable  sum  of  money  or 
time  on  things  which  in  a  few  years  may  be  disregarded 
and  banished  to  some  dark  closet,  or  dusty  shelf,  is  no 
proof  either  of  taste  or  of  prudence 

Expensive  inclinations  must  be  drawn  within  very  con- 
fined bounds  indeed,  when  the  income  is  small.  No 
pleasure  which  their  gratification  can  afford,  could  com- 
pensate for  the  painful  consciousness  of  neglecting  the 
dictates  of  prudence  ;  or  of  feeling  incapable  to  answer 
the  just  demands  of  creditors,  v\  ho  gain  their  maintenance 
hardly  enough,  without  having  the  additional  anxiety  of 
awaiting  their  remuneration  to  an  indefinite  and  remote 
period ;  but,  independent  of  such  considerations,  the  mother 
of  a  family  should  carefully  suppress  expensive  tastes,  on 
the  score  of  example  ;  as  her  daughters  may  not,  when 
married,  be  able  to  gratify  similar  fancies,  without  the 
sacrifice  of  prudence. 

MRS.  L. — And  after  all,  these  tastes  must  yield  prece- 
dence to  the  superior  claims  of  liberality  and  benevolence. 
Even  these,  you  will  tell  me,  may  be  carried  too  far. 

MRS.  B. — Surely  they  must  have  their  limits  prescribed, 
as  well  as  every  thing  else,  although,  when  exercised  with 
discretion,  what  can  be  more  pleasing  or  more  likely  to 
encourage  reciprocity  of  kindly  feeling  in  all  around  us  ? 
A  liberal  spirit  gives  a  charm  to  existence,  which  cannot 
be  comprehended  by  a  narrow  and  selfish  disposition. 

Let  us  enter  more  freely  on  the  claims  of  charity,  both 
an  our  purse  and  on  our  personal  exertions.  You,  who 
have  every  luxury  around  you,  cannot  but  desire  to  dispense 
a  portion  of  your  superfluity,  in  comforting  the  sick  and 
needy,  or  in  aiding  the  unfortunate  in  their  struggles  with 
adversity. 


98          BENEVOLENCE  AXD  CHARITY. 

MRS.  L.— Indeed,  I  hope  I  shall  not  hesitate  to  sacrifice 
some  of  the  baubles  of  life,  or  even  a  few  of  its  comforts, 
if  necessary,  in  the  exercise  of  the  duties,  I  may  say  the 
pleasures,  of  benevolence. 

MRS.  B. — To  cultivate  benevolence  is  a  duty  we  owe 
to  ourselves  as  well  as  to  our  fellow-creatures,  and  no 
limitation  of  fortune  should  exclude  the  desire  to  aid  and 
comfort  the  afflicted,  though  that  desire  must  be  under 
the  constant  control  of  prudence  and  judgment.  It  was 
the  spirit  of  benevolence  and  humility  with  which  the 
widow  gave  her  mite,  that  enhanced  its  value  beyond  all 
the  riches  cast  into  the  treasury :  and  her  example  affords 
encouragement  to  those  whose  inclinations  to  do  good  ex- 
ceed their  abilities ;  it  is  an  exhortation  to  all  of  us  "  to 
go  and  do  likewise." 

MRS.  L. — Political  economists  censure  the  charity  of 
English  women,  as  having  tended,  with  many  other  cir- 
cumstances, to  destroy  a  laudable  spirit  of  independence 
among  the  lower  orders  of  the  community,  who  now  claim 
relief  and  assistance  from  the  benevolent,  rather  as  a  right 
than  as  a  gratuity. 

MRS.  B. — Much  may  be  said  on  that  subject ;  but  you 
and  I  not  being  reformists,  can  only  seek  to  direct  our 
conduct  skilfully,  and  to  adapt  it  to  existing  circumstances. 
Women  may  have  erred,  and  may  still  err,  as  political 
economists ;  but  who  would  wish  them  to  subdue,  with 
the  cold  arguments  of  the  statesman,  some  of  the  best 
feelings  with  which  their  hearts  can  be  animated  ?  Beauty 
pleading  for  the  woes  of  others,  the  poet  knows  how  to 
work  into  a  fascinating  picture  for  the  imagination  to 
dwell  upon ;  but  all  the  beauty  and  grace  which  he  could 
portray  would  have  no  charm  for  us,  if  they  were  engaged 
in  a  heartless  struggle  with  the  benevolent  impulses  of 
our  natures.  Our  aim  should  be  to  regulate,  and  not  to 
annihilate,  the  emotions. 

To  the  arguments  of  political  economists,  however, 


BENEVOLENCE  AND  CHARITY.  99 

some  attention  should  be  paid  by  the  female  world ;  for 
the  sympathies  which  reside  in  the  breast  of  women  pro- 
duce in  them  such  an  interest  in  the  fate  of  every  one  over 
whom  the  shade  of  misfortune  has  thrown  its  gloom,  that 
they  are  too  apt  to  be  guided  in  their  charities  more  by 
sudden  impulses  of  feeling,  than  by  any  act  of  judgment 
or  of  reason.  Hence  the  most  unworthy  objects  are  up- 
held in  their  courses  of  deceit ;  and  the  spirit  of  honest 
independence  is  weakened  in  its  power  of  influencing  the 
conduct  of  the  lower  orders,  and  enabling  them  to  provide 
for  old  age  and  unforeseen  misfortunes.  Benevolence, 
therefore,  and  charity  misapplied,  may  cause  the  down- 
fall of  a  state  as  readily  as  luxury  or  any  other  vice;  for 
the  moment  a  man  can  bring  himself  to  receive  an  elee- 
mosynary offering,"  when  his  wants  have  not  sunk  him  into 
the  abyss  of  wretchedness  attendant  on  extreme  poverty, 
he  loses  his  character  of  a  citizen,  and  becomes  a  degraded, 
groveling  slave. 

MRS.  L. — Of  this  I  am  aware ;  and  I  believe  that  to 
give  indiscriminately  is  like  extravagance  in  any  other 
branch  of  expenditure  : — it  limits  the  power  to  do  all  the 
good  we  desire. 

MRS.  B. — I  do  not  think  benevolence  can  be  properly 
exerted,  without  devoting  to  it  both  time  and  trouble. 
The  inquiry  into  every  tale  of  distress  should,  if  pos- 
sible, be  the  forerunner  of  the  act  to  relieve.  Imposition 
is  too  common  not  to  render  this  needful ;  and  if  it  were 
more  generally  observed,  it  would  prevent  the  disgust 
which  the  most  charitable  dispositions  cannot  but  occa- 
sionally feel,  when  they  discover  that  their  alms  and  exer- 
tions have  been  misplaced.  This  is  the  chief  mortifica- 
tion which  benevolence  has  to  experience ;  but  happily 
it  is  not  sufficient  to  check  its  course,  although  it  ought  to 
renew  its  vigilance  to  secure  against  future  deceptions. 
Indeed,  it  is  a  duty  to  society  to  unmask  imposition  when- 
ever  it  is  discovered ;  for  it  is  melancholy  to  reflect,  how 


100  ADVANTAGES  OF  VISITING  THE  POOR. 

large  a  portion  of  the  community  is  lost  to  creditable 
society,  by  pursuing  such  unworthy  practices ;  and  it  is 
still  more  mortifying  to  discover  that  many,  as  1  have 
already  remarked,  whom  necessity  might  have  urged  to 
industry,  have  become  idle,  profligate,  and  paupers,  from 
the  facility  with  which  they  have  obtained  alms. 

MRS.  L.T-Visiting  the  'houses  of  the  poor  I  have  alwayi 
found  a  good  practice,  as  it  enables  one  to  judge  of  the 
real  state  of  each  family. 

MRS.  B. — This  cannot  readily  be  done  by  women  in 
the  metropolis,  or  in  other  great  towns ;  but  in  country 
residences  the  same  objections  do  not  exist,  and  it  has  so 
many  advantages,  that,  where  it  can  be  effected,  it  should 
not  be.  omitted.  Besides  enabling  you  to  form  a  proper 
opinion  of  the  necessities  of  each  case,  it  gives  an  oppor- 
tunity of  advising  and  instructing  the  poor  in  cleanliness, 
industry,  and  general  good  management,  in  all  of  which 
they  are  too  often  extremely  defective.  Many  instances 
have  occurred,  in  which  this  occasional  superintendence 
has  produced  more  beneficial  effects,  than  the  gifts  that 
accompanied  the  visits,  by  giving  the  poor,  the  creditable 
pride  of  being  clean  and  industrious,  and  of  bringing  up 
their  families  in  good  and  regular  habits.  It  is  not  suffi- 
cient to  send  your  servants  to  make  inquiries,  and  to 
examine  into  any  case  of  distress ;  their  report  is  seldom 
accurate,  owing  to  their  prejudices  and  feelings  colouring 
too  deeply  their  opinions. 

The  charitable  institutions,  which  abound  in  almost  every 
district,  afford  the  means  to  do  extensive  good  at  a  trifling 
expense.  The  lying-in  charities  ;  and  the  societies  for 
providing  the  poor  with  change  of  linen  during  illness, 
are  excellent  institutions,  and  extend  relief  from  one  end 
of  the  kingdom  to  another,  without  being  too  heavy  an 
expense  for  any  one.  But  I  am  not  quite  so  great  an 
admirer  of  those  societies  which  are  formed  for  clothing 
the  poor.  I  believe  much  greater  benefits  would  be  con- 


CLOTHING  THE  POOR.  101 

ferred  by  teaching  them,  or  at  least  their  children,  how 
to  cut  out  and  to  make  their  own  clothes.  These  arts  are 
becoming  almost  unknown  among  the  lower  order ;  and 
this,  though  it  may  chiefly  be  caused  by  the  females  being 
engaged  in  working  at  manufactories,  has  been  increased 
by  the  ease  with  which  they  have  procured  from  the 
charitable,  ready  supplies  of  every  article  of  clothing. 
The  object  of  charity  should  be  to  relieve  and  comfort 
those  who  labour  under  sickness  and  the  infirmities  of  old 
age,  or  it  should  be  directed  in  promoting  the  suitable 
education  of  the  children  of  the  poor.  A  woman  who  is 
compelled  to  make  and  repair  the  clothes  of  her  family 
will  be  much  more  careful  of  them  than  one  who  imagines 
she  can  draw  upon  the  treasury  of  benevolence  for  all  her 
wants.  To  increase  the  knowledge  of  the  poor,  in  every 
respect,  is  of  importance  ;  for,  although  it  be  not  easy  to 
enlighten  the  individual  who  has  journeyed  through  half 
his  course  of  existence,  in  a  state  of  ignorance,  or  to 
change  the  habits  which  years  have  strengthened  and 
confirmed,  yet,  occasionally  an  instance  may  occur,  in 
which  instruction  proves  a  blessing  of  far  greater  value 
than  alms,  producing  such  effects  upon  the  welfare  and 
habits  of  a  family,  as  would  result  from  no  other  cause ; 
and  this  should  stimulate  the  benevolent  in  the  good  work, 
although  they  may  meet  with  unconquerable  difficulties 
in  ninety-nine  instances  out  of  a  hundred. 

MRS.  L. — I  hope  you  do  not  consider  that  want  of  zeal 
in  the  cause  of  charity  is  a  feature  in  the  character  of  the 
women  of  the  present  day  ? 

MRS.  B. — On  the  contrary,  there  is  abundance  of  zeal 
displayed  in  every  rank  and  circle  of  society.  I  only 
regret  that  so  virtuous  an  impulse  is  not  always  properly 
directed,  and  comfort  and  relief  bestowed  in  a  proportion 
equal  to  the  time  and  money  expended.  You  must  re- 
member that  charity  without  judgment  is  like  scattering 
seed  in  the  ocean,  where  it  sinks  or  is  dissipated  on  the 
9* 


102  PRESENTS. 

waves;  but,  with  judgment,  it  is  like  seed  sown  in. "a 
friendly  and  fertile  soil,  which  springs  up  in  due  season, 
and  produces  a  thousand  fold  in  return.  In  the  first  case, 
it  is  the  ruin  of  individual  independence,  and  of  that  honest 
pride  which  seeks  to  oppose  industry  and  trugality  to  the 
pressure  of  necessity ;  while,  in  the  other,  it  is  the  blessing 
of  Heaven,  and  the  salvation  of  sinking  virtue  in  the  hour 
of  adversity;  and  presents  the  sublimest  trait  in  the  human 
character. 

MRS.  L. — I  entirely  agree  with  you,  and  shall  be  soli- 
citous to  regulate  this  part  of  my  conduct  with  discretion  ;. 
but  it  is  very  d  iff  cult,  when  the  feelings  are  liable  to  be 
strongly  excited,  to  summon  our  judgment  at  the  moment 
we  need  its  aid.  We  may  lay  down  our  system  and  re- 
solve to  act  upon  it,  but  the  impulse  of  an  instant  will  often 
give  it  a  death-blow.  I  wish  how  to  hear  your  opinion 
on  the  custom  of  giving  presents. 

MRS.  B. — Where  presents  are  given  merely  because  it 
is  customary,  I  think  the  custom  frequently  proves  a  tax 
rather  on  our  kind  and  friendly  feelings  than  a  gratification  ; 
and,  although  we  yield  with  apparent  pleasure  to  it,  yet, 
we  often  find  it  both  inconvenient  and  burdensome.  I 
met  with  an  instance  of  this  very  lately,  when  visiting 
my  friend  Mrs.  D.  Among  the  younger  branches  of  her 
family  I  heard  many  lively  discussions  on  the  absolute 
necessity  of  presenting  gifts  to  a  young  friend  who  was  on 
the  point  of  marriage ;  while,  at  the  same  time,  it  was 
unanimously  regretted  that  these  presents  would  deeply 
infringe  upon  their  several  allowances,  and  oblige  them 
for  some  time  to  become  niggardly  both  to  themselves 
and  others.  The  beauty  and  elegance  of  various  baga- 
telles were  described,  and  as  each  was  solicitous  to  outvie 
the  others  in  the  superiority  of  her  selection,  I  could  per- 
ceive that  ostentation  gave  a  stronger  impulse  than  friend- 
ship and  affection  to  the  transaction,  and  gained  a  decided 
victory  over  prudence  and  good  sense.  One  member  only 


PRESENTS.  103 

of  this  youthful  group  raised  her  voice  against  this  waste 
of  money.  She  readily  foresaw  how  inadequate  a  gratifi- 
cation would  be  afforded  by  it,  either  to  the  receiver  of 
the  gifts,  or  the  donors.  "  Only  reflect,"  said  she,  "  in 
how  trifling  a  degree  will  Miss  C.  value  our  offerings,  in 
comparison  with  those  she  will  have  from  her  relations 
and  greater  intimates.  The  value  of  theirs  will  be,  of 
course,  enhanced  also  by  the  proportionate  claims  upon 
her  affection :  she  may  perhaps  be  pleased  with  our  pre- 
sents ;  and  after  writing  us  a  note  of  acknowledgment, 
will  give  our  bijoux  a  place  in  her  cabinet ;  but,  then, 
as  far  as  she  is  concerned,  there  will  he  an  end  of  it : 
while  we,  for  twelve  months  to  come,  must  pause  to  con- 
sider, before  we  purchase  any  article  of  dress,  whether  we 
can  pay  for  it,  and  even  then  must  choose  what  suits  our 
finances  rather  than  our  taste  ;  and  as  to  any  act  of  bene- 
volence and  kindness,  from  which  you  as  well  as  myself 
do  not  altogether  like  to  abstain,  we  must  give  that  up 
entirely ;  and  who  can  tell  how  sincerely  we  may  have 
reason  to  grieve  at  this  present  expenditure  ?"  This  re- 
monstrance proved  unavailing,  and  drew  from  the  others 
only  hackneyed  replies,  such  as,  "  It  will  be  so  strange 
if  we  omit  what  is  customary! — What  will  Miss  C.  think 
of  us  ?  She  will  never  again  regard  us  as  friends  ;  and  I 
should  not,  for  such  a  trifle,  choose  to  lose  a  friend."  The 
presents,  therefore,  were  actually  made,  and  the  event 
almost  fulfilled  the  prediction  of  the  dissentient  voice. 
She  also  was  a  fellow-sufferer,  as  she  could  not  in  this 
matter  act  singly  in  opposition  to  the  majority  of  her 
family. 

Such  instances,  I  have  no  doubt,  often  occur  where  pe- 
cuniary circumstances  are  limited,  and  the  ideas  and  habits 
are  not  conformable :  in  such  cases,  to  be  munificent  and 
just,  are  incompatible  ;  and,  in  our  cool  moments,  we  can 
easily  decide  to  which  we  ought  to  yield.  Where  an 
ample  fortune,  however,  admits  of  this  species  of  genero- 


104  PRESENTS. 

sity,  who  can  condemn  it  ?  It  bespeaks  an  attention  to  the 
pleasures  of  others  which  is  not  always  to  be  found  among 
those  who  have  too  much  the  power  of  gratifying  them- 
selves. When  such  gifts  are  bestowed  with  the  desire 
to  afford  a  few  luxuries  to  an  individual  whose  means  may 
be  insufficient  to  obtain  them,  the  custom  then  wears  the 
aspect  of  benevolence ;  and  if  the  presents  are  given  in 
the  spirit  of  kindness,  they  cannot  but  be  well  received. 
I  think,  also,  that  the  little  interchanges  of  presents  between 
the  members  of  a  family  are  always  pleasing,  and  afford 
a  tacit  assurance  of  the  unchanged  affection  of  each  party. 

Every  mother  should,  in  my  opinion,  encourage  among 
her  children  little  reciprocities  of  this  kind,  and  accustom 
them  to  think  of  gratifying  the  tastes  of  one  another  more 
than  their  own.  I  have  seen  most  enviable  sensations 
depicted  on  the  countenances  of  a  little  family,  when,  on 
a  birth-day  morning,  each,  with  glee,  presented  his  little 
gift  to  his  sister,  which  had  been  secreted  with  difficulty 
for  many  days,  in  order  the  more  to  surprise  her.  This 
early  cultivation  of  the  social  and  benevolent  affections 
is  the  source  of  much  happiness  both  to  the  parent  and  the 
child  in  after-life,  to  say  nothing  of  the  agreeable  recol- 
lections and  associations  it  connects  with  the  word  home. 
Almost  at  any  period  of  life  these  recollections  have  the 
power  to  withdraw  the  mind  from  present  scenes,  and  to 
restore,  though  only  in  a  trifling  degree,  and  for  a  fleeting 
moment,  that  cheerful  state  of  spirits  which  belongs  pecu- 
liarly to  childhood.  -  -^  . 

MRS.  L. — It  is  not  so  decidedly  the  fashion  to  make 
presents  now  as  it  was  formerly.  I  have  read  and  heanl 
of  marriages  and  births  being  the  signals  for  the  display 
of  the  greatest  generosity  (or,  as  you  would  perhaps  call 
it,  ostentation)  throughout  a  whole  circle  of  relations  and 
connections.  How  changeable,  and  yet  how  powerful  for 
the  time  is  fashion! 

MRS.  B. — So  powerful,  that  besides  governing  our  in- 


INFLUENCE  OF  FASHION.  105 

clinations,  it  may  be  said  to  subjugate  our  very  reason. 
Fashion  carries  us,  as  it  were,  in  a  perpetual  stream  from 
which  we  make  no  attempt  to  rescue  ourselves,  but  arc 
borne  along  through  all  its  windings,  and  are  drawn  into 
all  the  shallows  into  which  folly  can  pilot  us.  It  does  not 
regulate  only  the  form  of  our  gowns  or  the  arrangement  of 
our  head-dress,  but  superior  tastes  and  opinions  are  equally 
under  its  dominion.  The  works  of  art,  however  merito- 
rious, if  not  sanctioned  by  fashion  are  neglected,  and  the 
artists  allowed  to  remain  unknown.  Fashion  buzzes  its 
criticisms  abroad,  and  we  all  admire  or  condemn  accord- 
ingly. 1  cannot  avoid  comparing  this  imitative  influence 
on  the  majority  of  mankind  to  the  gregarious  principle 
which  keeps  together  a  flock  of  sheep,  and  induces  them, 
heedlessly,  to  follow  their  leaders  even  to  their  own  de- 
struction. You,  perhaps,  have  never  seen  a  flock  of  these 
harmless  but  necessary  victims  to  our  demands  of  sub- 
sistence driven  to  the  shambles.  When  near  the  entrance 
of  the  slaughter-houses  the  poor  animals  instinctively 
shrink  back,  and  refuse  to  enter  ;  but  If  the  butcher  drag 
one  in  by  main  force  all  the  rest  immediately  follow.  So 
powerful  is  the  force  of  fashion  in  leading  us  into  habits, 
which  we  are  fully  aware  can  terminate  only  in  the  ruin 
of  our  fortunes  and  the  loss  of  our  characters. 

Opinion,  too,  is  equally  under  the  sway  of  this  arbitrary 
power.  There  is  hardly  any  thing  of  a  public  or  a  do- 
mestic nature  that  escapes  it.  Fashion,  more  frequently 
than  good  sense,  makes  us  pronounce  judgment  on  the 
conduct  of  our  governors  and  legislators  ;  on  our  clergy 
and  moralists;  it  regulates  our  table,  frequently  at  the 
expense  of  prudence  ;  and,  even,  fills  our  nursery  with 
systems  which,  with  our  judgments  unbiassed,  we  should 
discard  as  unnatural  and  injurious.  As  you  are  just  en- 
tering upon  a  new  career,  let  me  recommend  you  earnestly, 
not  to  abandon  yourself  to  the  guidance  of  this  inconsistent 
deity.  Conform  in  those  things  which  are  unimportant^ 


106  INFLUENCE  OF  FASHION. 

and  to  deviate  from  which  might  give  you  the  epithet  of 
peculiar,  but  have  your  judgment  in  your  own  keeping, 
and  think  for  yourself.  Thus  will  you  avoid  inconsistency 
and  errors  which  may  not  be  easily  retrieved  ;  thus,  also, 
will  you  exercise  and  strengthen  the  best  powers  of  your 
mind,  and  prepare  yourself  for  the  discharge  of  those  im- 
portant duties  by  which  you  will  find  yourself  surrounded 
as  you  proceed  on  the  journey  of  life. 


PART  II. 

HOUSEHOLD   CONCERNS. 


CONVERSATION   I. 

SERVANTS. — NUMBER. CHOICE  OF. — FOOD  OF. — MANAGE- 
MENT OF. CONDUCT  TO. INDULGENCES  TO. THE  IM- 
PORTANCE OF  EXAMPLE  IN  FIXING  THEIR  MORAL  AND 
RELIGIOUS  HABITS. SUITABLENESS  OF  DRESS  IN  SER- 
VANTS.— WAGES. — GIFTS  FROM  VISITERS. — QUALIFICA- 
TIONS REQUIRED  IN  A  HOUSEKEEPER. — A  COOK. — A 

HOUSEMAID.- — A     NURSERY  .  MAID. A     LAUNDRESS. — A 

FOOTMAN. — A  PORTER. — METHOD  OF  HIRING  SERVANTS, 
WHETHER  FROM  PRIVATE  FAMILIES  OR  FROM  REGISTER 
OFFICES. — GIVING  AND  RECEIVING  CHARACTERS, 

MRS.  L. — My  dear  Madam,  I  am  full  of  difficulties,  and 
must  apply  to  you  for  advice.  At  the  very  time  in  which 
I  had  reason  to  think  myself  blessed,  and  have  been  anti- 
cipating happiness  almost  without  alloy,  by  becoming*  the 
chosen  companion  for  life  of  an  estimable  man,  my  mind 
is  harassed  and  vexed  by  many  annoying  circumstances, 
and  what  provokes  me  too,  is,  that  I  have  often  censured 
other  ladies  when  I  have  heard  them  complain  of  troubles 
similar  to  those  which  now  disturb  me  : — the  fact  is,  my 
servants  are  all  going  wrong.  My  youth,  I  suppose,  tempts 
them  to  take  every  advantage  of  me ;  and  my  inexperi- 
ence makes  me  dubious  what  course  to  pursue  with  them. 
T  fancied  that  in  securing  servants  for  the  various  depart- 


108  SERVANTS. 

mcnts  of  my  house,  whose  characters  were  good,  and  in 
giving  them  general  orders,  my  part  would  be  performed, 
and  the  whole  business  of  the  household  would  proceed 
in  the  same  steady  regular  manner  as  in  my  father's 
house. 

MRS.  B. — Your  time  and  thoughts  were,  I  suppose,  too 
much  occupied,  either  with  amusements  or  in  adding  to 
your  various  acquirements,  to  allow  of  your  paying  much 
attention  to  the  system  which  regulated  your  former  home. 
As  all  your  wants  were  constantly  supplied,  and  you  saw 
yourself  and  others  surrounded  with  every  thing  which 
comfort  and  elegance  required,  you,  perhaps,  never  thought 
on  the  subject  at  all,  and  thus  you  are  at  this  moment 
without  that  knowledge  by  which  alone  your  family  can 
be  governed,  and  its  comfort  ensured.  But  tell  me  your 
difficulties,  and  let  me  see  if  1  can  give  you  a  helping 
hand  out  of  them. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  certainly  been  aware,  that  the  business 
of  my  household  has  not  been  well  conducted  ;  but  I  con- 
sidered that  the  servants  were  new  and  would  improve  ; 
yesterday,  however,  my  patience  was  tried  to  the  utmost 
degree.  It  was  our  first  dinner-party,  and  I  was,  of  course, 
naturally  solicitous  that  every  thing  should  be  well  and 
pleasantly  arranged ;  and  I  had,  as  1  imagined,  given  due 
orders  to  all  the  domestics  whose  services  were  required. 
The  greater  part  of  the  day  I  was  out  paying  morning- 
visits,  and  returned  only  in  time  to  dress  for  dinner.  I 
tvas  rather  discouraged,  as  I  passed  the  dining-room,  to  sec 
no  preparation,  but  proceeded  to  my  room  without  making 
any  remarks.  Soon  after  six  our  company  arrived  ;  and, 
for  half  an  hour,  I  wailed  in  patient  expectation  of  hearing 
dinner  announced  :  during  this  time  both  my  husband  and 
I  exerted  ourselves  to  keep  conversation  alive,  and  to  make 
the  time  pass  quickly,  but  still,  in  spite  of  ourselves  and 
the  politeness  of  our  guests,  a  dead  pause  would  now  and 
fhen  intervene,  and  these  awful  pauses  I  thought  would 


NUMBER  OF  SERVANTS.  109 

annihilate  me.  After  many  an  anxious  look  at  the  door, 
and  frequent  ringing  of  the  bell,  dinner  was  at  length  an- 
nounced ;  and  my  spirits  revived  only,  alas,  to  enable  me 
to  support  more  vexations.  All  the  preparations  had,  evi- 
dently, been  hastily  made, — there  were  not  enough  of 
chairs  for  the  guests  ;  the  dishes  were  irregularly  placed, 
and  even  some  omitted  ;  the  fish  and  soup  were  chilled,  and 
had  apparently  been  served  some  time  ;  the  plates  were 
cold,  and  the  appearance  of  the  whole  dinner  was  entirely 
spoiled  by  the  careless  manner  in  which  it  had  been  pre- 
pared and  arranged.  I  cast  a  look  of  despair  at  my  hus- 
band, and  was  answered  by  one  from  him  of  disappoint 
ment ;  however,  I  resolved  not  to  suffer  myself  to  be  sub- 
dued by  it,  and  I  succeeded  in  throwing  off  my  anxiety, 
and  in  scarcely  appearing  to  notice  the  many  unlucky  cir- 
cumstances of  the  day.  The  next  morning  I  repaired  to 
the  kitchen  to  make  my  reflections  on  the  negligence  of 
the  preceding  day ;  when,  to  my  utter  astonishment,  t  was 
told  by  the  cook  that  the  dinner  was  excellently  cooked, 
was  quite  hot,  and  was  altogether  such  as  no  one  could 
object  to,  who  knew  any  thing  about  the  matter.  The 
men-servants  were  equally  surprised  at  my  censuring  them, 
although  they  had  shown  themselves  very  careless,  and,  for 
want  of  method,  had  hurried  about  the  room,  jostling  each 
other,  and  struggling  for  the  possession  of  some  one  thing 
which  had  been  just  asked  for.  Many  other  complaints  I 
could  make,  but  it  would  tire  you  to  hear  them,  as  they 
are  similar  to  those  which  have,  I  suppose,  been  often 
made  by  all  young  housekeepers. 

MRS.  B.— I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  that  all  these 
difficulties  will  vanish  in  time.  In  the  first  place,  I  hope 
you  have  not  too  many  servants,  a  greater  evil,  by  far,  than 
having  too  few.  A  numerous  retinue  may  be  gratifying 
to  pride,  but  waste  and  disorder  generally  accompany  it, 
proving  injurious  to  comfort  as  well  as  to  fortune.  Hence 
the  common  saying  that  such  a  family  is  eaten  up  by  its  ser- 
10 


1 10  FOOD  OP  SERVANTS. 

vants.  It  is  better  for  servants  to  have  too  much  employ- 
ment than  too  little ;  because,  for  want  of  resources,  and 
the  inclination  to  employ  themselves  usefully  and  innocently, 
much  leisure  assists  in  corrupting  them.  If  idleness  only 
allowed  time  for  the  indulgence  of  weak  and  frivolous 
propensities,  the  evil  would  be  great ;  but  it  does  more  ; 
it  opens  a  wide  passage  for  the  ingress  of  vicious  habits. 
When  neither  the  powers  of  the  mind  nor  those  of  the 
body  are  usefully  employed,  moral  irregularities  must  be 
the  consequence. 

MRS.  L. — But  should  not  the  contrary  extreme  be  also 
avoided  ?  We  should  all  be  spiritless  and  discontented,  if 
we  had  not  some  portion  of  time  allotted  for  relaxation. 
A  seasonable  suspension  of  our  regular  employments  tends 
to  make  us  return  to  them  with  pleasure,  and  with  re- 
newed vigour. 

MRS.  B. — That  is  most  true  ;  and  every  benevolent 
mind  will  seek  to  render  service  as  far  remote  as  possible 
from  slavery,  by  promoting,  in  a  reasonable  degree,  the 
comfort  of  their  dependants  ;  and  this  being  done,  the  right 
is  increased  by  which  you  may  exact  from  them  the 
strictest  discharge  of  their  duties.  Let  us  examine  to 
what  degree  this  attention  to  their  comforts  should  extend. 

Their  meals  should  be  at  regular  and  early  hours;  their 
food  plain,  substantial,  and  good.  Butcher's  meat  once  a 
day  is  the  general  allowance  for  servants  in  the  establish- 
ments of  those  of  moderate  fortunes,  with  cheese  for  supper. 
The  cook,  however,  should  be  desired  to  reserve  such 
pieces  of  cold  meat  as  would  not  be  sent  into  the  dining- 
room,  for  the  supper  of  the  men-servants,  which,  now  and 
then,  will  prevent  the  cutting  up  of  a  large  piece  of  cheese, 
and  be  also  a  more  wholesome  and  nutritious  meal.  Some 
good  housekeepers  are  agreed,  that  it  is  more  economical 
to  allow  meat  than  cheese  for  supper ;  perhaps  the  chief 
difference  in  expense  arises  from  the  circumstance  that 
more  meat  can  be  eaten  at  a  meal  than  cheese. 


POOD  OF  SERVANTS.  Ill 

A  pint  of  good  beer  for  the  men,  and  half  that  quantity 
for  the  women  servants,  at  each  meal,  is  a  very  sufficient 
allowance.  A  restriction  in  quantity  is  perhaps  necessary 
where  there  are  men-servants,  lest  they  should  be  inclined 
to  indulge  too  freely  in  drinking  :  but  the  allowance  should 
be  sufficient,  or  the  temptation  to  obtain  more  may  be  too 
great  for  them  to  resist.  Enough  of  every  thing  essential 
should  be  allowed  to  our  servants,  that  their  strength  may 
be  supported.  They  cannot  work  well,  unless  they  have 
food  enough,  and  this  with  me  is  a  sufficient  argument 
against  board  wages,  which  seldom  supply  them  with  more 
than  a  very  moderate  portion  of  food,  besides  increasing 
the  inducements  to  obtain  by  dishonest  means  an  additional 
allowance  of  the  essentials  of  life.  I  cannot  help  fancying 
that  servants  on  board  wages  betray  the  fact,  by  the  want 
of  contented  countenances  and  cheerful  spirits. 

Formerly  in  the  houses  of  the  great,  and  even  now  in 
some  families  of  distinction,  the  upper  domestics — the 
steward,  butler,  valet,  housekeeper,  and  lady's  maid, — had 
their  own  table,  called  the  second  table ;  but  of  late  years 
this  has  been  generally  abolished,  and,  in  the  present  day, 
all  the  domestics  dine  at  one  table  in  the  servants'  hall. 
The  other  meals  of  the  higher  servants  are  taken  in  the 
housekeeper's  room.  The  under  men-servants  retain  the 
use  of  the  servants'  hall  when  their  employments  are 
ended,  and  the  maid-servants,  when  their  active  duties  are 
over,  resort  with  their  sewing  to  the  upper  housemaid's 
room.  In  well  ordered  families  the  men  and  maid  ser- 
vants never  sit  in  the  same  apartment  except  during  dinner. 

In  such  families  the  men  have  a  pint  of  ale  each  at 
dinner,  and  the  women  half  a  pint  each.  There  are  no 
families,  except  perhaps  the  very  highest,  in  which  wine 
is  allowed  to  the  upper  servants. 

The  nurse-maids,  again,  have  all  their  meals  quite  dis- 
tinct from  the  other  servants,  and  are  in  all  respects  com- 
pletely separated  from  thenu 


112  SICK  SERVANTS. 

MRS.  L.— In  case  of  illness  among  our  servants  what 
ought  we  to  do  ? 

MRS.  B.r— In  illness,  immediate  attention  and  medical 
advice  should  be  afforded  to  them,  and  the  healthy  servants, 
generally,  should  be  encouraged  to  pay  as  much  attention 
as  their  time  will  permit,  to  their  invalid  fellow  -servants. 
Unless  the  state  of  the  family  and  the  nature  of  the  dis- 
ease peculiarly  demand  it,  1  think  that  it  is  cruel  to  send 
a  sick  servant  either  to  poor,  confined,  and  dirty  lodgings, 
where  poverty  and  misery  stare  him  in  the  face,  at  the 
very  moment  he  needs  those  comforts  which  his  master's 
house  might  have  afforded  him,  or  to  have  him  carried  into 
an  hospital,  where,  finding  himself  surrounded  by  fellow- 
sufferers,  in  various  stages  of  disease  and  mortal  decay,  his 
heart  sinks  within  him  at  the  sight,  and  his  recovery  is, 
perhaps,  retarded  by  the  gloomy  impression  made  on  his 
mind.  A  little  expense,  a  little  inconvenience  in  the 
family,  and  a  little  feeling  shown  by  a  master  or  mistress 
to  a  sick  servant,  would  generally  be  well  bestowed,  and 
might  be  equally  well  repaid  by  his  future  faithful  services. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  surprised  to  hear  you  hint  any  censure 
on  hospitals ;  I  have  always  thought  that,  in  case  of  the 
illness  of  a  domestic  or  of  any  poor  neighbour,  an  hospital 
is  the  very  best  place  to  which  he  can  be  sent. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  far  from  my  intention  to  object  to  hos- 
pitals generally ;  on  the  contrary,  there  are  many  cases 
that  could  not  receive  the  same  degree  of  attention,  ov 
have  such  advantages  in  medical  consultation,  as  in  the 
hospitals,  where  also,  I  believe,  great  care  is  bestowed 
on  the  comfort  of  every  patient,  and  convalescence  is  pro- 
moted by  good  nursing.  But,  by  the  observation  I  had 
previously  made,  I  did  not  mean  to  extend  the  censure  be- 
yond the  cases  of  servants  who  are,  too  frequently,  sent 
from  the  habitations  of  splendour  and  luxury,  into  such 
dissimilar  scenes;  and  sent,  too,  when  their  spirits  are 
feast  able  to  endure  the  reverse.  But  while  1  recommend 


INDULGENCES  TO  SERVANTS.          1 13 

every  kindness  to  be  shown  to  your  domestics  during 
illness,  I  should  not  neglect  to  caution  you  against  listening, 
too  frequently,  to  all  their  little  complaints.  There  is  not, 
perhaps,  any  class  of  people  more  fanciful,  or  inclined  to 
imagine  themselves  more  indisposed  than  they  really  are, 
than  the  one  of  which  we  are  speaking.  When  a  servant, 
however,  falls  into  disease,  the  master  is  not  only  bound 
to  see  that  he  is  properly  attended  and  nursed ;  but  the 
expense  of  such  attendance  is  as  much  a  debt  of  his  own 
as  are  the  sums  incurred  for  the  maintenance  of  the  servant. 
Nothing  displays  greater  meanness  than  obliging  a  servant 
to  defray  the  expense  of  medical  attendance  out  of  his 
wages. 

MRS.  L. — Some  indulgences  should  be,  I  suppose,  oc- 
casionally allowed  to  servants  independent  of  those  which 
sickness  demands. 

MRS.  B. — Visiting  their  relations  and  friends  now  and 
then,  but  not  too  frequently,  and  only  when  it  suits  the 
convenience  of  the  family,  can  scarcely  be  denied  them ; 
but  I  think  it  unfortunate  that  Sunday  should  be  the  most 
convenient  day  on  which  this  indulgence  is  generally 
granted  them.  It  makes  that  a  day  of  dissipation  which 
ought  at  least  to  be  one  of  rest ;  and  by  those  who  have 
a  true  regard  to  the  best  interests  of  their  fellow-creatures, 
it  must  be  considered  as  the  right  season  for  encouraging 
in  their  dependants  habits  of  reflection  and  attention  to 
their  religious  duties.  If  there  is  time  to  visit,  there  must 
be  also  time  to  attend  public  service  ;  and  if  the  preceding 
week  has  been  spent  in  active  employments,  the  mere 
rest  of  the  body,  and  the  occupying  the  mind  by  suitable 
reading,  ought  to  be  sufficient  to  make  Sunday  pass  agree- 
ably and  peacefully.  But,  unhappily,  one  of  two  evils 
prevails  in  most  families  ;  either  Sunday  is  the  day  on 
which  company  is  invited,  and  the  fatigue  to  the  servants 
thereby  increased,  or  it  is  rendered  a  time  of  emancipation 
to  them  from  useful  restraint.  They  exhaust  their  wages 
10* 


1 14  VISITS  OF  SERV 

in  order  to  dress  immoderately;  they  frequently  fatigue 
themselves  to  such  a  degree,  as  to  render  them  feeble  and 
listless  over  the  employments  of  the  succeeding  day ;  and 
rather  than  undergo  the  penance  of  a  quiet  day  at  home, 
I  hare  known  them  expose  themselves  to  such  inclement 
weather  that  violent  and  serious  colds  have  ensued,  I 
cannot  help  wishing  that  the  visiting  of  servants  could  be 
allowed  on  any  other  day,  and  that  Sunday  should  become 
a  day  of  rest :— that  all  worldly  employments  should  be 
suspended  as  much  as  possible,  and  by  an  established  rou- 
tine, mat  every  servant  in  each  household  should  nave  the 
privilege  of  attending  public  worship,  at  least  once,  on 
that  day.  This  would  be  a  good  rule  for  a  young  house- 
keeper to  establish,  yet  I  would  not  be  so  strict  as  to  say 
H  ought  never  to  be  broken,  nor  to  deny  a  servant  on  any 
particular  occasion  to  visit  his  friends  on  a  Sunday.  Good 
as  the  rule  is,  the  breach  of  it  now  and  then,  can  do  little 
barm ;  while  too  much  strictness  might  disgust  those  whom 
we  desire  to  encourage  and  establish  in  good  habits. 

MRS.  L. — One  reason  for  permitting  servants  ID  visit 
their  friends  on  Sunday  rather  than  any  other  day  may  he 
owing  to  then*  friends  being  rally  occupied  with  their 
labours  throughout  the  week ;  and,  consequently,  unable 
to  receive  them  except  on  Sunday. 

MRS.  B. — There  is  much  reason  in  your  remark,  which 
proves  the  necessity  of  submitting  to  circumstances  when 
we  cannot  control  them. 

MRS.  L. — What  inconveniences  are  likely  to  arise  from 
permitting  servants  to  receive  the  visits  of  their  friends  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  are  many ;  and  these  quite  sufficient 
to  induce  the  mistress  of  a  family  only  to  allow  it  in  a  very 
limited  degree.  To  forbid  it  altogether  is  to  tempt  your 
servants  to  deceive  you  ;  and,  therefore,  I  advise  you  to 
prohibit  any  visit  beyond  a  call  from  their  friends,  unless 
they  request  your  permission,  upon  the  occasion  of 
to  see  them  from  a 


DRESS  OF  FEMALE  SERVANTS. 

•.hern  for  a  longer  period.  In  some  bouses  great  incon- 
venience has  been  incurred  from  the  negligent  indulgence 
of  the  beads  of  the  family  on  this  point.  Dishonest  prac- 
tices, to  a  great  extent,  have  been  carried  on  through  the 
medium  of  the  visiters  of  servants;  for,  in  a  laige  town, 
the  character  of  each  servant's  connections  can  scarcer/ 
be  known,  and  sometimes  those  are  admitted  into  a  house, 
who,  from  their  practices,  deserve  nothing  less  than  a  jail. 
If  this  inconvenience  did  not  exist,  another  of  some  im- 
portance to  people  of  small  fortune  should  not  be  forgot- 
ten, for,  by  permitting  the  unlimited  visits  of  the  friends 
of  servants,  the  rapid  consumption  of  some  of  the  sub- 
stantial articles  of  good  cheer  would  be  unnecessarily  ex- 
travagant This  is,  indeed,  sufficient  to  warn  the  wary 
housekeeper  against  such  indulgences. 

MRS.  L.— Is  not  some  greater  indulgence  to  be  allowed 
when  a  servant  has  proved  his  fidelity  by  many  years' 
service? 

MRS.  6.— That  appears  only  reasonable,  but  I  think 
the  indulgence  to  such  a  servant  should  be  of  a  different 
nature,  or  you  will  render  the  rest  of  your  domestics 
envious  and  discontented ;  and  yet  a  proper  tribute  of  the 
approbation  of  his  master  and  mistress  should  be  bestowed 
upon  him  in  consideration  of  his  fidelity.  The  best  re- 
ward, perhaps,  in  a  case  of  this  kind,  is  a  small  sum  de- 
posited in  the  name  of  the  servant  in  a  savings'  bank, 
which  may  serve  as  a  nucleus,  upon  which  he  may  accu- 
mulate future  savings. 

MRS.  L.— Would  it  not  be  desirable  to  restrain  the  love 
of  dress  in  female  servants? 

MRS.  B.— Suitableness  of  dress,  is  a  point  on  which 
our  maid-servants  require  frequent  admonition.  Tbe 
cheapness  of  the  various  articles  of  dress,  affords  them  the 
means  of  gratify  ing  their  vanity ;  and  it  seems  incumbent 
on  mistresses  to  point  out  to  them  bow  injurious  this  vanity 
is  to  their  best  interests :  bow  it  prevents  their  being  able 


1 16  DBESS  OP  FEMALE  SERVANTS. 

to  accumulate  even  a  small  sum,  by  which  their  prospects 
in  after  life  might  be  improved ;  and  how  much  better 
they  would  appear  in  a  dress  proper  for  their  station  and 
employments,  than  in  one  which  only  betrays  a  vain  at- 
tempt to  imitate  their  superiors,  and  which,  after  all,  ren- 
ders vulgarity  only  more  obvious.  Cleanliness  and  neat- 
ness, however,  should  be  enforced. 

MRS.  L. — What  do  you  consider  an  appropriate  dress 
for  female  servants  ? 

MRS.  B. — This  inquiry  embraces  two  considerations : 
(he  first,  concerning  the  material ;  the  second,  the  form  or 
style  of  dress  appropriate  for  female  domestics.  With 
regard  to  the  first,  I  should  say  that  silk  and  muslin  gowns, 
lace  trimmings,  worked  muslin,  silk  stockings,  and  silk 
aprons,  are  all  imitations  of  those  above  their  own  rank, 
which  should  be  discouraged,  if  not  positively  forbidden 
in  our  attendants.  Equally  unsuitable  are  feathers,  flowers, 
lace-caps,  ear-rings,  and  neck-laces.  With  respect  to  the 
second,  I  am  of  opinion,  that  all  ornamental  appendages 
to  that  attire  which  is  intended  for  utility  chiefly,  are  im- 
proper in  a  female  domestic.  Perhaps  these  observations 
may  not  be  requisite  for  the  guidance  of  those  who  know 
the  world  well ;  but  a  young  mistress  should  be  informed 
that  the  female  domestic  who  wishes  to'  render  her  person 
particularly  attractive,  or  her  dress  fashionable,  is  a  dan- 
gerous inmate  ;  and  cannot  be  supposed  to  have  her  mind 
sufficiently  engrossed  in  her  duties  to  perform  them  faith- 
fully. Yet  I  would  by  no  means  infer  that  it  is  not  de- 
sirable to  women,  in  every  scale  of  society,  to  cherish 
some*  pride  of  appearance  ;  the  desire  of  being  neatly, 
and  even  tastefully  attired,  is  as  natural  and  commendable 
in  the  humble  servant,  as  in  the  more  distinguished  mem- 
bers of  society.  The  notion  that  it  does  not  signify  how 
negligent  or  unbecoming  their  garments  may  be,  would 
introduce  slovenliness  and  uncleanliness  around  us  :  but  to 
this  the  domestics  of  the  present  day  are  less  inclined  than 


WAGES.  117 

10  an  expenditure  more  profuse  than  their  means,  on  the 
luxuries,  instead  of  the  necessaries  of  dress.  It  becomes, 
then,  the  duty  of  every  mistress,  to  point  out  to  her  female 
servants  the  propriety  of  plainness  in  their  habiliments ; 
and,  if  her  instructions  be  not  regarded,  to  make  extrava- 
gance, in  this  respect,  a  serious  objection  to  retaining  them 
in  her  service.  The  head  of  a  family  who  engages  a 
female  servant  without  warning  her  of  her  disapprobation 
of  unsuitable  dress,  cannot  be  surprised  if  her  servants 
should  take  advantage  of  her  indifference  and  omission. 
A  few  hints,  delivered  in  a  kind,  and  not  peremptory  man- 
ner, might  suggest  to  a  female  servant  that  the  following 
materials  of  dress  are  the  most  suitable  to  her  situation, 
and  only  can  be  permitted.  Muslin,  not  lace-caps  ;  cotton 
and  stuff  gowns,  and  petticoUs  of  the  same  texture; 
shawls  of  a  durable,  but  not  of  a  brilliant  colour ;  and 
bo  nets  of  straw,  which  may  be  cleaned  and  turned. 
Occasional  commendations  of  a  simple,  yet  creditable 
style  of  dress,  may  be,  in  many  instances,  extremely  use- 
ful, as  our  inferiors  sometimes  place  great  value  on  such 
proofs  of  approbation. 

MRS.  L. — What  wages  are  usually  given  to  servants  ?  ' 
MRS.  B. — Wages  vary  in  different  places.  The  more 
remote  a  place  is  from  the  metropolis,  the  more  moderate 
are  the  expenses  of  housekeeping  in  all  its  departments. 
Thus  it  is  with  wages  in  the  north  of  England :  they  are 
at  the  rate  only  of  half  of  those  given  in  town,  and  in  the 
counties  adjoining.  In  some  families,  too,  there  is  a 
standard  of  wages  observed  which  is  never  departed 
from. 

Wages  should  be  sufficient  to  allow  for  decent  clothing, 
and  for  the  laying  by  of  a  small  sum  yearly.  This  last 
habit  I  advise  you  to  recommend,  and  even  in  some  degree 
to  enforce  on  your  servants ;  and  the  facilities  for  doing  so 
are  now  found  in  every  part  of  the  country,  in  the  esta- 
blishments named  Savings'  Banks. 


lib  GI1TS  FROM  VISITERS. 

MRS.  L.— -Would  you  permit  your  servants  to  receive 
presents  from  friends  visiting  at  your  house  ? 

MRS.  B.-— It  is  not  a  pleasant  idea  that  our  friends 
should  pay  for  the  few  attentions  and  services  they  may 
receive  under  our  roof.  I  am  happy  to  rind  it  is  a  custom 
growing  into  disuse,  and  is  actually  prohibited  in  many 
houses,  where  the  servants  would  instantly  lose  their 
places,  if  they  were  known  to  receive  vails  (as  such  gra- 
tuities are  called).  It  never  does  any  good  to  the  servants 
themselves;  indeed  it  has  a  tendency,  by  giving  them  the 
power,  to  increase  their  extravagant  inclinations.  It  may 
be  extremely  difficult  to  check  the  practice  at  once ;  but 
the  reform  might  be  accomplished  by  a  small  addition  to 
wages,  given  on  the  express  condition  that  no  vails  shall  be 
taken.  This  would  be  equally  beneficial  to  the  master 
or  the  mistress,  and  to  the  servant :  for  the  former  would 
find  that  they  were  actually  paying  less  money,  although 
it  were  given  to  their  own  servants  in  the  form  of  wages  ; 
and  the  latter,  by  receiving  the  additional  sum  as  wages, 
would  be  more  disposed  to  save  the  money  thus  received, 
than  that  which  he  has  been  accustomed  to  regard  altogether 
as  a  superfluity. 

Vails  are  objectionable,  also,  inasmuch  as  they  regulate 
the  comfort  and  convenience  of  the  friends  who  visit  you, 
by  the  extent  of  their  purse,  and  their  inclination  to  reward 
your  servants.  Thus  an  individual  who  is  not  rich,  or 
who  refrains  from  bribing  servants  to  do  their  duty,  may 
be  rendered  so  uncomfortable  in  his  visits  to  you,  as  to  de- 
cline future  invitations;  and  thus  the  cupidity  of  your 
servants,  and  the  existence  of  a  bad  custom,  will  deprive 
you  of  the  society  of  a  friend  whom  you  highly  esteem.* 

MRS.  L. — What  is  the  best  method  of  hiring  servants  ? 
Should  we  apply  at  register  offices  ?t 

*  Presents  of  this  kind  to  servants  are  highly  objectional,  and  should  not 
te  allowed  or  encouraged.— Amer.  Ed. 
t  Intelligence  or  Register  Officea  were  in  bad  repute  a  few  years  since, 


HIRING  OF  SERVANTS.  J  19 

MRS.  B. — I  do  not  think  these  offices  are  generally 
resorted  to  by  the  best  description  of  servants  ;  nor  have 
good  servants  any  occasion  to  have  recourse  to  such  places, 
when  they  are  in  want  of  situations.  Their  character  is 
a  sufficient  advertisement  for  them,  and  they  seldom  remain 
long  out  of  service.  It  is  better  to  inquire  for  them,  either 
among  your  circle  of  friends  and  acquaintance,  or  from 
any  respectable  tradespeople  you  may  employ,  who  ge- 
nerally know  those  in  their  neighbourhood  who  are  out  of 
place  ;  and  when  your  wants  are  made  known,  you  will 
find  applicants  enough.  The  great  object  with  you,  should 
be  to  have  servants  who  have  lived  in  respectable  and 
regular  families  ;  and  whose  habits  have  been  so  well 
formed,  that  they  may  have  but  few  that  require  im- 
provement. 

There  is  in  London  a  benevolent  institution  (under 
highly  respectable  patronage),  the  object  of  which  is  to 
assist  the  exertions  of  meritorious  servants  ;  when  suffering 
from  illness  to  afford  them  temporary  relief,  and  in  old  age 
to  provide  a  small  annuity  for  them.  At  the  institution  a 
register  is  kept,  and  those  who  enter  their  names  leave 
the  address  of  their  references  also :  the  secretary  under- 
takes to  investigate  into  their  characters  and  qualifica- 
tions, and,  if  unobjectionable,  to  provide  places  for  them. 
Subscribers  of  one  guinea  per  annum  only  have  servants 
from  this  institution.  They  have  also  a  vote  annually  for 
the  relief  of  any  deserving  object.* 

in  New- York,  but  their  character  has  since  improved,  as  they  are  now 
required  to  take  out  a  license,  and  are  under  the  supervision  of  the  Corpo- 
ration.—.4m.  Ed. 

*  The  difficulty  of  procuring  good  servants,  and  the  impositions  practised 
by  the  keepers  of  former  Intelligence  Offices,  caused  the  origin  in  New- York 
of  "  The  Society  for  the  Encouragement  of  Faithful  Domestic  Servants," 
which  has  been  in  operation  about  three  years,  and  has  had  a  salutary  effect 
upon  the  community.  It  is  worthy  of  imitation  and  encouragement  The 
following  are  the 


120  HIRING  OF  SERVANTS. 

Do  not  accept  a  written  character  from  an  unknown 
quarter,  but  seek  an  interview,  if  possible,  with  the  former 

RULES  AND  REGULATIONS  OF  THE  s-OClETY. 

I.  This  Society  shall  be  styled  "  The  Society  for  the  Encouragement  of 
Faithful  Domestic  Servants." 

1L  The  Officers  o  the  Society  ehal!  consist  of  a  President,  a  Vice-President, 
and  eight  Managers,  being  subscribers,  who  shall  be  chos-en  by  ballot  at  the 
general  meetings.  It  slia  i  DH  the  du;y  of  the  President,  or,  in  his  absence,  of 
the  Vice- President,  to  preside  at  the  meetings  o  the  Society.  The  Managers 
shall  have  power  to  supply  vacancies  in  their  ow>>  budy,  till  the  next  geneial 
meeting  after  such  vacancy  has  occurred:  they  sliall  have  charge  of  the  con- 
cerns of  the  Society,  sliali  appoint  from  their  number  their  Secretary  and 
Treasuier,  and  shall  lay  before  the  Society,  at  each  general  meeting,  a  repurt 
of  their  proceedings. 

III.  The  Managers  shall  appoint  an  agent  to  keep,  in  a  central  part  of  the 
City,  the  Register  Office  ol  the  Society    and  shall,  from  time  to  time,  give  him 
such  directions  as  they  may  deem  necessary.    They  are  empowered  to  regu- 
late his  salary,  and  his  hours  of  attendance  ;  to  remove  him  for  misconduct, 
and  to  appoint  a  successor. 

IV.  No  fee  or  gratuity  is  to  be  received  from  servants,  on  any  pretence. 

V.  Servants  who  are  desirous  of  having  their  names  registered  must  produce 
satisfactory  evidence  of  their  good  character,  an1  ol"  their  respective  qualifi- 
cations ;  and  the  agent  shall,  on  no  condition,  register  the  name  of  a  servant 
who  cannot  produce  such  testimonials. 

VI.  If  any  servant  shall  present  a  forged  recommendation,  or  a  recom- 
mendation that  has  been  granted  to  another  servant,  the  Managers  are  em 
powered  to  advertise  his  or  her  name  in  the  newspapers. 

VII.  The  Managers  shall  appoint  a  board  of  Patronesses,  of  sixteen  ladies, 
being  subscribers,  who  shall  be  requested  to  visit,  by  turns,  the  Office  of  the 
Society,  at  least  once  in  each  week,  during  the  hours  of  business,  to  make 
their  observations  upon  its  management,  and  to  communicate,  by  report,  their 
suggestions  to  the  Board  of  Managers. 

VIII.  Any  person  who  shall  pay  five  dollars  in  advance  shall  be  a  member 
of  this  Society  for  one  year,  and  may  apply  for  servants  as  often  as  they  may 
have  occasion  for  them,  with  the  additional  privilege  of  nominating  one 
servant  who  shall  be  entitled  to  the  gratuities  hereafter  mentioned.    But  the 
name  of  such  servant  must  be  recorded  at  the  Office  one  year  before  any  pre- 
mium can  be  given.    A  certificate  of  this  record  is  requisite,  and  will  be  fur- 
nished by  the  agent.    Every  additional  servant  so  nominated,  must  be  paid  for 
at  the  same  rate. 

IX.  The  current  year  shall  commence  on  the  1st  of  January,  and  all  sub 
scriptions  shall  take  date  on  the  quarter-day  preceding  the  day  of  subscription. 

X.  No  person,  except  members,  shall  have  access  to  the  Register,  or  be 
furnished  with  a  servant  from  the  Office    and  no  subscriber  shall  be  permittfrf 
fo  apply  for  a  servant  for  another  person,  who  is  not  a  member. 


HIRING  OF  SERVANTS.  121 

mistress  of  the  servant  whom  you  are  about  to  engage. 
From  her  appearance,  and  the  state  of  her  house,  you  may 

XL  Any  subscriber  who  may  give  a  false,  or  grossly  defective  statement 
of  the  character  of  a  servant,  or  who  may  be  guilty  of  enticing  or  inveigling 
away  a  servant  from  any  other  person^  whether  a  member  of  Ihis  Society  or 
not,  or  who  shajl  be  convicted  of  treating  servants  harshly  or  unjustly,  shall 
l»e  excluded  from  this  Society  by  the  Managers. 

XII.  Every  servant,  over  15  years  of  age,  having  been  nominated  on  the 
Society's  books  one  year,  and  having  so  long  lived  with  the  same  subscriber, 
if  he  or  she  personally  attend  the  next  quarterly,  or  other  subsequent  quar- 
terly, distribution  of  the  gratuities,  bringing  with  them  the  certificate  of  their 
nomination,  and  a  letter  of  recommendation  from  the  subscriber,  certifying 
Ins  or  her  good  conduct  and  continuance  in  the  same  service,  shall  receive  a 

handsome  octavo  Bible,  or  (having  one,)  iu  lieu  thereof $2  00 

At  the  end  of  2  years      .    .    .    .    ; 3  00 

3    do ; 5  00 

4    do ;    ...    7  00 

5    do.  (and  a  certificate  of  their  good  services  for  that 

period) 1000 

$27  00 
And  on  the  completion  of  every  year  thereafter,  ten  dollars. 

XIII.  Any  servant,  who  shall  have  received,  after  this  time,  a  five  years' 
certificate  from  the  Society,  and  shall,  at  a  future  period  of  life,  become  inca- 
pacitated for  service,  or  indigent,  may  be  annually  assisted  by  the  Managers, 
on  the  recommendation  of  the  Board  of  Patronesses,  with  a  gratuity,  not 
exceeding  ten  dollars. 

XIV.  If  any  female  servant  who  has  obtained  a  five  years'  certificate, 
should  marry  from  and  leave  the  same  service,  she  shall  be  entitled,  on  her 
marriage,  to  receive  a  gratuity  from  the  Managers,  not  exceeding  ten  dollars. 

XV.  The  Managers,  in  addition  to  the  premiums  they  may  award,  shall 
pay,  from  any  unappropriated  funds  of  the  Society,  to  each  person  who  shall 
receive  a  five  years'  certificate,  a  premium  of  one  per  centum  on  all  the  balances 
of  money  then  at  their  credit  in  the  Savings  Bank,  the  Bank  books  to  be 
exhibited  to  the  Managers. 

XVI.  If  any  subscription  is  not  renewed  and  paid  within  three  months  after 
the  expiration  of  the  last,  such  default  shall  be  considered  as  an  intention  to 
discontinue  the  subscription,  and  the  servant  or  servants  of  such  subscriber, 
although  nominated,  shall  not  have  a  claim  to  any  gratuity  from  this  Society. 

XVII.  The  Managers  shall  meet  .for  the  distribution  of  premiums,  and 
other  business  of  the  Society,  on  the  first  Thursday  in  January,  April,  July, 
and  October,  at  their  office,  at  5  o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  and  shall  have  the 
power  to  call  general  meetings  of  the  subscribers,  when  it  shall  appear  proper 
to  do  so.    The  names  of  the  servants  who  receive  premiums,  shall  be  printed 
in  the  next  succeeding  report. 

11 


122  GIVING  A  CHARACTER. 

draw  some  inference  to  assist  your  decision  of  the  suita- 
bleness of  the  servant  for  your  place.  If  the  lady's  per- 
sonal appearance  betray  negligence,  or  her  house  untidiness 
and  want  of  cleanliness,  you  may  naturally  conclude  that 
her  servant  may  have  similar  defects,  which,  with  your 
habits,  and  notions,  would  render  her  unfit  for  your  service. 
Of  late  years  the  love  of  change  has  been  an  increasing 
evil  among  our  domestics ;  it  is  an  evil  that  affects  their 
welfare,  as  much  as  it  does  the  comfort  of  those  they 
serve  ;  nor  is  it  easy  to  say  how  this  may  be  counteracted ; 
Perhaps,  if  every  mistress  of  a  family  endeavoured  to 
instil  into  her  servants  an  honest  pride  at  having  been 
able  to  retain  their  places  for  several  years,  it  might  have 
some  good  effect.  Or  were  they  entitled  to  a  trifling 
premium,  or  increased  wages,  after  having  lived  a  stated 
period  in  one  family,  this  weak  and  (to  them)  ruinous 
propensity  might,  in  time,  be  conquered. 

MRS.  L. — If  I  wish  to  apply  personally  for  the  character 
of-  a  servant,  what  course  am  I  to  pursue  ? 

MRS.  B. — You  must  desire  the  servant  to  wait  upon  her 
former  mistress,  and  request  her  to  appoint  a  time,  conve- 
nient to  herself,  when  you  may  call  upon  her.  This  little 
observance  is  necessary  to  prevent  any  unseasonable  intru- 
sion on  the  part  of  a  stranger.  Your  investigation  should, 
of  course,  commence  with  strict  inquiries  respecting  the 
morals  of  the  servant  you  are  about  to  engage  ;  if  no 
objection  arise  on  that  score,  her  qualifications  for  the 
place  she  will  have  to  fill  are  then  to  be  examined.  Let 
your  inquiries  be  minute,  that  you  may,  if  possible,  avoid 
the  disappointment  and  trouble  that  an  indifferent  servant 
may  cause  you. 

And  when  you  have,  in  your  turn,  to  give  a  character, 
remember  that  it  is  of  great  moment  to  be  just.  Do  not 
suffer  your  feelings  to  induce  you  to  recommend  to  another, 
a  servant  you  would  not  retain  yourself.  You  do  not  in 
the  end  benefit  the  servant,  because  she  is  not  likely  to 


GIVING  A  CHARACTER.  123 

amend  those  failings  in  which  you  thus  suffer  her  to  in- 
dulge with  impunity ;  and  while  you  show  her  this  mis- 
taken kindness,  you  commit  an  act  of  injustice  towards 
the  lady  to  whom  you  recommend  her.  On  the  other 
hand,  it  cannot  be  necessary  for  me  to  caution  you  against 
the  influence  of  angry  feelings  towards  a  servant  with  whom 
you  have  parted,  when  called  upon  to  give  her  a  character. 
Such  feelings,  I  am  assured,  would  not  induce  you  to  say 
one  word  more  or  less  than  the  exact  truth,  by  which  she 
ought  to  abide. 

MRS.  L.~ I  think  I  have  heard  that  the  law  will  redress 
the  injury  caused  by  a  false  character,  whether  it  affect 
the  servant,  or  the  person  who  receives  the  character.  It 
would  not  be  a  trifling  disgrace,  I  think,  to  be  thus  called 
to  an  account. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  a  very  proper  security  for  both  parties, 
but  one  so  little  enforced,  that  I  am  afraid  it  will  soon  be- 
come unknown. 

Many  servants  have  an  opinion  that  their  employers  are 
bound,  under  all  circumstances,  to  give  them  such  a  cha- 
racter as  will  secure  them  a  new  situation  ;  and  this  absur- 
dity is,  in  some  degree,  countenanced  by  the  practice, 
which  many  well-meaning  but  weak  people  have,  in 
giving  characters,  of  concealing  very  material  faults  in 
those  servants  who  are  leaving  them,  unless  they  be  ex- 
pressly interrogated  on  these  particular  points.  Nothing 
can  be  more  prejudicial  to  the  interest  of  servants,  as  well 
as  those  who  employ  them,  than  such  a  custom  ;  and  were 
servants  convinced  that  correct  characters  would  always 
be  given,  the  certainty  of  their  misconduct  operating  as  an 
obstacle  to  their  obtaining  new  situations,  would  have  a 
powerful  influence  in  regulating  their  behaviour;  and 
would  ultimately  produce  in  them  an  honest  interest  in 
the  concerns  of  their  employers.  A  strictly  true  character 
should  always  be  given  ;  and  by  this  we  ought  to  under- 
stand an  account  both  of  the  good  qualities  and  the  fail- 


124  INFLUENCE  OF  EXAMPLE. 

ings  of  the  servants  ;  for,  although  this  may  occasionally 
appear  severe  and  illiberal,  and  may,  undoubtedly,  in  a 
few  instances,  prove  ruinous  to  individuals,  yet,  its  good 
effects  would  soon  be  conspicuous  in  the  conduct  of  ser- 
vants ;  and,  consequently,  cease  to  possess  any  feature  oi' 
harshness. 

And  now  let  me  beg  you  to  consider,  how  your  example 
will  influence  all  around  you.  Your  servants  will  natu- 
rally fix  their  attention  upon  you,  as  the  mistress  of  the 
house ;  and  if  they  perceive  that  your  conduct  is  regulated 
by  strict  principles  of  religion,  and  morality,  they  cannot 
fail  to  respect  you  ;  if,  also,  they  have  reason  to  know  that 
your  temper  is  well  regulated,  and  that  you  have  a  bene- 
volent desire  to  promote  their  comfort,  while  you  only 
exact  from  them  a  steady  performance  of  their  duty,  their 
respect  for  you  will  be  mingled  with  affection,  and  solici- 
tude to  deserve  your  favour.  The  most  unprincipled  among 
them  will  be  influenced  by  such  an  example,  although 
that  influence  may  not  produce  an  entire  reformation. 
The  regulations  you  will  think  proper  to  prescribe  for  the 
preservation  of  order  and  morality  among  your  domestics, 
must  be  enforced  by  your  own  example,  or  they  will  have 
little  or  no  effect.  In  vain  will  you  command  them  to  rest 
on  the  Sabbath,  if  you  make  it  a  day  of  dissipation ;  and 
in  vain  forbid  the  practice  of  any  impropriety  of  conduct. 
if  you,  or  other  inmates  of  your  household,  are  not  your- 
selves as  strict  on  every  point. 

MRS.  L. — I  hear  it  frequently  remarked  that  servant? 
of  the  present  day  are  in  every  respect  inferior  to  those 
of  the  preceding  generation :  and  many  consider  this  as 
occasioned  by  the  education  now  generally  given  to  them. 
Are  you  of  this  opinion  t 

MRS.  B. — In  many  respects  they  are  certainly  changed ; 
they  have,  as  we  have  before  remarked,  a  greater  love  of 
dress,  and  desire  of  frequent  change  of  place,  and  they 
seem  less  capable  of  that  strong  attachment  to  those  they 


INFLUENCE  OF  EDUCATION.  125 

serve,  than  the  servants  of  former  days  appear  to  have 
been,  whose  fidelity  and  attachment,  we  have  heard, 
would  often  continue  unchanged  through  every  misfortune 
and  vicissitude  in  the  lives  of  their  masters.  But  granting* 
that  these  changes  have  taken  place,  I  am  afraid  it  is  but 
just  to  throw  some  censure  on  the  ladies  of  the  present 
lime,  who  certainly  do  not  bestow  the  same  care  and 
patience,  in  forming  their  servants,  that  their  predecessors 
did.  I  believe  it  to  be  most  true,  that  good  mistresses 
make  good  servants.  Some  ladies,  too,  from  ignorance  of 
the  detail  of  household  work,  expect  too  much  from  their 
domestics,  which,  of  course,  occasions  discontent  among 
them.  They  should  bear  in  mind  Swift's  humorous  axiom. 
"  not  to  expect  perfection  for  ten  pounds  a  year." 

With  respect  to  the  influence  of  education,  I  am  of  opi- 
nion, that  no  part  of  the  inferiority  of  modern  servants  can 
be  ascribed  to  it :  for  it  is  not  very  probable  that  education 
should  produce  on  this  class  of  the  community,  an  effect 
contrary  to  that  which  follows  its  extension  over  the  other 
classes.  Those  who  have  traced,  with  the  most  accurate 
eye,  the  causes  which  have  exerted  a  beneficial  influence 
on  mankind,  have  placed  education  as  the  most  promi- 
nent ;  and  it  must  be  admitted,  that  an  individual  whose 
intellect  has  been  cultivated,  and  who  can  reason  upon  the 
necessity  and  propriety  of  the  duties  attached  to  the 
various  ranks  of  society,  is  more  likely  to  perform  well 
those  which  his  situation  exacts,  than  one  who  obeys  from 
a  stupid  reverence  of  power,  or  a  dread  of  punishment. 
I  have,  generally,  found  that  the  best  servants  are  those 
who  have  had  a  superior  education  in  their  station  of  life ; 
they  are  respectful  without  being  obsequious,  modest  in 
their  demeanour,  careful  in  their  habits  ;  and,  as  they  can 
calculate  and  keep  an  account  of  their  expenses,  they  are 
the  most  likely  to  be  prudent  and  economical,  from  a  de- 
sire to  save  a  little  from  their  wages  for  future  exigencies. 
I  am  at  a  loss  to  conceive  how  it  could  ever  be  supposed 
11* 


126  QUALIFICATIONS  OF  A  HOUSEKEEPER. 

that  those  who  can  read  and  understand  the  moral  precepts 
inculcated  in  the  Scriptures,  should  be  more  immoral  than 
those  who  are  totally  illiterate,  and  who  can  with  difficulty 
comprehend  the  sacred  volume,  when  it  is  read  to  them, 
A  servant,  who  has  a  taste  for  reading,  finds  a  rational 
pleasure  in  the  indulgence  of  it  during  his  leisure  hours, 
which  otherwise  would  be  only  filled  up  by  sleeping,  by 
idle  gossiping,  or  sensual  indulgence. 

If,  therefore,  the  observation  that  modern  servants  are 
inferior  to  their  predecessors  be  correct,  we  must  trace  that 
evil  to  some  other  source  than  education  :  and  I  have  no- 
hesitation  in  referring  it  to  the  altered  structure  of  society. 
For,  if  servants  be  less  steady  and  more  immoral  than 
formerly,  are  not,  I  would  ask,  their  employers  equally 
so  ?  And,  if  masters  and  mistresses  are  not  such  regular 
and  sedate  characters  as  those  of  a  prior  age,  is  it  not  too 
much  to  expect  that  the  inferiors,  who  are  in  immediate 
contact  with  them,  and  the  witnesses  of  their  conduct, 
should  not  become  also  loose  and  unsettled  ?  "  Like  mas- 
ter, like  man,"  is  a  saying  which  originated  from  observing 
the  influence  of  example ;  and  will,  at  all  times,  most  pro- 
bably, be  verified  by  experience. 

MRS.  L. — Will  you  tell  me  what  are  the  qualifications 
requisite  in  a  housekeeper  ? 

MRS.  B. — Trust- worthiness  is  an  essential  quality  in  a 
housekeeper ;  but,  if  she  be  not  as  vigilant  as  she  is  honest, 
she  cannot  discharge  her  duty  well.  As  she  is  the  deputy 
of  her  mistress,  she  should  endeavour  to  regard  every  thing 
around  her  with  the  keenness  and  interest  of  a  principal, 
rather  than  with  the  indifference  of  a  servant.  She  should 
be  constantly  on  the  alert  in  observing  and  detecting  any 
thing  wrong  in  the  conduct  of  those  under  her.  It  is  a 
part  of  her  duty  to  see  that  each  fulfils  his  or  her  share  of 
the  household  employments,  without  appealing  to  the 
heads  of  the  family ;  unless  she  find  her  authority  insuffi- 
cient to  check  abuses,  and  to  keep  the  whole  in  order. 


QUALIFICATIONS  OP  A  HOUSEKEEPER.  127 

She  should  be  a  good  accountant ;  having  books  in  which 
she  may  note  down  strictly  all  the  current  expenses  of  the 
house,  and  which  should  be  cast  up  weekly,  in  order  to 
show  them  to  her  lady,  and  have  them  settled  at  a  time 
convenient  to  her.  She  should  have  a  book,  also,  in  which 
those  articles  of  housekeeping  that  are  brought  into  the 
house  and  not  immediately  paid  for  should  be  entered. 
It  is  a  satisfaction  to  a  master  and  mistress  that  this  book 
should  be  ready  to  compare  with  the  accounts  sent  by  the 
tradesmen. 

It  is  her  province  to  have  the  charge  of  the  store-room, 
with  the  preserves,  pickles,  and  confectionary,  and  to  see 
that  no  waste  take  place  in  any  thing  intrusted  to  her.  A 
clever  housekeeper  will  be  able  to  judge  of  the  consump- 
tion which,  from  the  size  of  the  family  she  superintends, 
will  necessarily  take  place  in  each  article  ;  and  when  that 
quantity  is  exceeded,  she  will  instantly  try  to  discover  the 
cause  and  to  rectify  it,  if  it  proceed  from  any  waste  or 
carelessness  of  those  under  her  superintendence. 

It  is  absolutely  necessary  that  she  should  understand  the 
art  of  cooking,  and  every  thing  connected  with  it.  It  is 
true,  there  are  houses  in  which  professed  cooks  are  kept ; 
but  where  this  is  not  the  case,  it  is  necessary  that  the 
housekeeper  should  be  well  qualified  to  superintend  the 
xvhole  business  of  the  kitchen.  In  most  places  the  house- 
keeper has  to  prepare  all  the  confectionary ;  and  how  far 
she  may  be  required  to  take  an  active  part  in  the  cooking, 
must  depend  on  the  qualifications  of  the  cook  under  her. 
The  housemaids,  laundress,  and  dairy-maid,  should  also 
be  under  her  eye,  so  that  each  should  feel  aware  that  her 
conduct  is  observed. 

Even  if  you  should  be  perfectly  satisfied  that  your 
housekeeper  is  a  woman  of  great  integrity,  you  will  still 
find  it  desirable  to  fix  your  eye  constantly  upon  her,  that 
her  vigilance  and  integrity  may  not  relax  for  want  of  this 
incitement.  Symptoms  of  neglect  on  her  part  should  never 


1  28  DUTIES  OF  A  COOK. 

be  overlooked,  as  they  would  tend  to  throw  the  whole 
house  into  confusion  and  irregular  habits. 

MRS.  L. — Tell  me  what  I  should  particularly  require  in 
a  cook. 

MRS.  B.— She  should  be  healthy  and  strong-,  and  parti- 
cularly clean  in  her  person.  Her  hands,  though  they  may 
be  rough  from  the  nature  of  her  employments,  yet,  should 
have  a  clean  appearance.  Her  honesty  and  sobriety  must 
be  unquestionable,  because  in  a  house  like  yours  there 
will  be  so  many  things  tempting  her  to  betray  her  trust ; 
and  this  she  may  do  for  a  length  of  time  without  discovery. 

I  have  no  doubt  that  your  kitchen  is  properly  furnished 
with  every  utensil  that  your  cook  can  require.  She  can 
neither  be  clean  nor  neat  in  her  work,  if  she  have  not  a 
sufficient  number  of  saucepans,  kettles,  and  a  variety  of 
other  utensils,  too  numerous  for  me  now  to  mention,  but 
which  must  bear  a  proper  proportion  to  the  quantity  of 
cooking  which  she  has  to  perform.  Roller  towels,  kitchen 
table-cloths,  and  towels,  should  be  given  out  to  her  each 
week,  in  sufficient  number,  to  afford  her  the  means  of 
being  clean,  without  extravagance. 

In  those  houses  in  which  there  is  much  cooking,  a«d  in 
large  families,  a  kitchen-maid  is  generally  kept,  to  whom 
devolves  the  preparing  of  the  servants'  meals,  and  the 
cleaning  the  kitchen  and  the  various  cooking  utensils  ;  but, 
in  smaller  families,  this  additional  servant  is  unnecessary, 
the  work  being  easily  performed  by  the  cook. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  desirous  to  learn  the  routine  of  each  ser- 
vant's duty,  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  ascertain  how  far  it 
is  performed  or  omitted  in  my  family.  What  are  the  duties 
of  a  cook  ? 

MRS.  B. — Your  kitchen  should  be  thoroughly  cleaned 
twice  during  the  week,  and  well  swept  each  day :  besides 
which,  the  broom  and  mop  should  always  be  at  hand  to 
remove  any  thing  that  may  have  fallen  on  the  floor,  while 
the  business  of  cooking  is  going  on.  A  dirty  floor  and 


DUTIES  OF  A  COOK.  129 

fire-place,  unpolished  utensils,  with  basins,  jugs,  or  other 
articles  left  lying  about,  are  symptoms  of  a  slovenly  cook, 
and  are  sufficient  to  excite  suspicions  of  her  nicety  in  things 
of  greater  importance  to  our  comfort.  The  cleaning  of  the 
kitchen,  pantry,  passages,  and  kitchen  stairs,  should  always 
be  over  before  breakfast,  that  it  may  not  interfere  with  the 
usual  business  of  the  day.  Tf  you  have  no  housekeeper, 
you  should  yourself  go,  early  in  the  day,  into  your  kitchen, 
look  around  you,  and  see  if  all  this  has  been  properly 
done.  You  may  be  assured  the  eye  of  the  mistress  is 
most  important,  even  if  you  find  no  cause  for  censure. 
You  can  then  give  your  orders  for  the  day,  and  inquire 
what  is  required  from  your  store-room.  The  other  ser- 
vants should,  also,  come  at  the  same  time  to  ask  for  such 
things  as  they  may  need.  When  a  lady  is  her  own  house- 
keeper, she  may  be  teased  by  such  applications  all  day 
long,  unless  she  fix  an  hour  at  which  all  her  domestics  may 
apply  to  her. 

But  to  return  to  the  cook.  After  each  day's  cooking  is 
over,  the  grate  and  hearth  should  be  cleared,  a  small  fire 
made  up,  and  the  boiler  and  kettle  filled  up  and  set  on  to 
boil.  She  should  then,  when  there  is  no  scullion,  proceed 
to  wash  her  dishes,  having  previously  prepared  two  tubs, 
one  with  clean  hot  water,  and  the  other  with  cold;  in 
which  latter  the  plates  and  dishes  should  be  well  rinsed, 
before  they  are  put  into  the  rack  to  dry. 

The  saucepans  and  kettles  which  have  been  used  should 
be  then  scoured,  but  not  too  roughly,  either  with  wood  ashes, 
or  with  fine  sand,  then  well  rinsed  out,  wiped  dry,  and  turned 
down  on  a  clean  dry  shelf.  If  tin  saucepans  are  not  well 
dried,  they  quickly  rust,  and  are  then  spoiled.  The  upper 
rim  of  saucepans  should  be  kept  bright ;  but  the  outside, 
where  the  fire  reaches  and  burns,  it  is  useless  to  attempt 
keeping  bright ;  and  indeed  the  rubbing  and  scouring  they 
would  require,  would  soon  wear  them  out.  For  the  same 
reason,  the  saucepans  should  not  be  scoured  with  a  very 


130  DUTIES  OF  A  COOK 

heavy  hand,  which  wears  off  the  inside  tinning1  without 
cleaning  them  the  better. 

Iron  and  tin  saucepans  are  properly  superseding  the  use 
of  copper ;  for  although  metallic  copper  be  not  poisonous,* 
yet,  if  a  copper  vessel  be  left  by  a  careless  servant  in  a 
damp  state  exposed  to  the  air,  it  cannot  be  used  with 
safety  until  it  be  scoured.  When  copper  pans  are  nol 
well  tinned,  the  verdigris,  or  rust  of  copper,  very  soon 
appears,  and  .this  is,  as  you  know,  highly  poisonous  ;  par- 
ticularly, if  any  thing,  in  the  smallest  degree,  be  suffered 
(o  stand  in  it  till  it  becomes  cold. 

When  you  are  in  the  country,  you  will  find  your  poor 
neighbours  very  thankful  for  the  water  in  which  meat 
has  been  boiled,  which  they  will  thicken  with  pease  and 
other  vegetables,  and  thus  obtain  from  it  a  comfortable  .and 
nourishing  meal.  This  your  cook  will,  perhaps,  consider 
as  her  perquisite,  unless  you  make  a  point  of  reserving  it 
for  the  use  I  have  just  mentioned.  The  value  of  it  to  the 
cook  may  not  be  even  one  penny,  while  to  the  poor  it 
gives  a  portion  of  strength  and  comfort.  If  you  desire 
it  always  to  be  poured  into  an  earthen  vessel  kept  for 
that  purpose,  and  placed  in  your  larder,  you  will  then 
see  it  in  your  daily  visits  to  your  kitchen,  and  will  be  able 
to  direct  to  whom  it  shall  be  given.  It  would  greatly  add 
to  the  benefit,  if  your  cook  were  to  prepare  it,  as  the  poor 
are  very  deficient  in  the  art  of  cooking.  In  those  families 
where  economy  is  obliged  to  be  studied  (and  in  my 
opinion  it  should  be  studied  even  in  affluent  families,  for 
waste  and  extravagance  can  in  no  case  be  excused),  the 
broth  which  boiled  meat  has  produced,  is  frequently  thick- 
ened into  soup  for  the  servants'  table.  Good  pease  soup 
may  also  be  made  for  the  same  use,  from  the  bones  of 
roast  beef,  and  the  bones  of  the  legs  and  shoulders  of 


*  For  a  curious  illustration  of  this  fact,  see  Thomson's  Conspectus  of  thf 
Pharmacopeias,  art.  Cuprum. 


DUTIES  OF  A  COOK.  131 

mutton.  Those  which  have  been  cut  from  meat  before  it 
was  cooked,  should  be  stewed  down  for  gravy,  which  a 
clever  cook  will,  by  a  little  contrivance,  have  constantly 
at  hand.* 

There  are  very  few  cooks  who  are  not  extravagant  in 
coals.  A  good  fire  is  essential  while  cooking  is  going  on, 
which  may,  perhaps,  bring  them  into  the  habit  of  keeping 
a  large  one  at  other  times  of  the  day,  and  which  every 
mistress  or  housekeeper  should  endeavour  to  prevent. 
Your  cook  should  never  suffer  her  fire  to  get  very  low ; 
for  she  wastes  both  much  coals  and  time  by  this  negligence. 
A  fire  should  be  regularly  supplied  with  coals,  which 
would  prevent  it  from  ever  being  so  smoky  as  to  be  unfit 
for  use  at  a  few  minutes'  notice  ;  and  it  should  be  generally 
known  that  smoke  is  merely  unconsumed  coal :  and  if  it 
get  low,  when  any  thing  is  required  to  be  prepared  quickly, 
the  cook  has  no  resource,  but  to  apply  the  bellows  furiously, 
so  that,  before  the  fire  burns  properly,  much  coal  must 
have  been  wasted.  The  ashes  should  be  riddled  from 
the  cinders,  and  these  reserved  to  throw  on  the  back  of 
the  kitchen  fire,  after  cooking  is  over  ;  or  they  will  serve 
to  burn  in  stoves  and  ovens,  when  once  the  fire  under  them 
has  been  lighted.  When  there  is  roasting  going  on,  the 
meat-screen  assists  the  fire,  and  prevents  the  necessity  of 
having  so  large  a  one  as  it  would  require  without  a  screen. 
Also,  when  boiling  alone  is  going  on,  the  fire  need  not  be 
unusually  large.  Much  was  done  by  Count  Rumford  to 
improve  fire-places,  and  economise  fuel ;  and  I  recommend 
to  your  attention  his  essays  on  this  subject.  It  is  usual, 
but  I  do  not  think  it  a  good  plan,  to  allow  the  cook  what 
are  called  perquisites  :f  dripping,  for  instance  ;  if  that  be 


*  For  some  excellent  recipes  for  economical  broths,  see  The  Cook's  Oracle, 
chap.  VH. 

f  In  New- York,  soap-fat  and  ashes  are  sometimes  allowed  as  perquisites  to 
servants,  but  for  the  reasons  above  stated,  are  to  be  deprecated  and  prevented. 
Soap-fat  is  made  up  of  drippings,  ends  of  tallow  candles,  and  every  greaay 


132  DUTIES  OF  A  COOK. 

allowed  her,  it  tempts  her,  if  she  be  avaricious,  to  roast 
the  meat  too  dry,  that  it  may  yield  her  a  larger  quantity 
of  dripping,  which  is  nothing  but  the  melted  fat  of  the 
meat.  Some  cooks,  also,  have  even  been  known  to  melt 
down  butter,  and  the  ends  of  candles,  in  order  to  add  to 
these  kitchen  perquisites.  Temptation,  therefore,  should 
be  as  much  avoided  as  possible ;  but  where  there  is  a  dis 
honest  spirit  and  a  want  of  principle,  no  precautions  will 
avail.  Still,  if  allowing  wages,  equivalent  to  the  value  oi 
these  perquisites,  would  diminish  the  contest  betweeu 
honest  and  dishonest  principles,  how  much  better  it  would 
be,  both  for  the  mistress  and  her  servant,  if  this  part  of 
her  domestic  economy  were  to  vaiy  from  the  general 
system !  While  on  this  topic,  I  ought  not  to  omit  mention 
ing  some  other  of  the  practices  of  which  town  servants 
are  accused,  in  order  that  you  may  be  on  your  guard, 
should  you  be  so  unlucky  as  to  be  the  mistress  of  an 
unprincipled  servant.  As  servants  are  supposed  to  influ- 
ence their  employers  in  directing  their  custom  to  any  shop 
they  please,  the  tradespeople  find  it,  too  often,  for  their 
interest  to  bribe  them,  either  with  Christmas-boxes,  or  to 
give  them  a  discount  upon  the  bills  paid  by  their  masters. 
It  is  well  if  this  discount  is  not,  in  the  first  instance,  drawn 
from  the  customer's  purse,  by  some  extra  charge ;  and 
thus  a  system  of  dishonesty  carried  on  as  detrimental  to 
the  morality  of  tradesman  and  servant,  as  to  the  interest 
of  the  customer.  I  have  heard  of  servants  following  their 
masters  to  the  shops,  where  they  have  been  to  liquidate  a 
debt,  and  demanding  the  discount,  which,  if  due  to  any 
one,  the  master  should  have  had. 

Sometimes,  connivances  have  been  discovered  between 
petty  tradespeople  and  servants,  by  which,  articles  that 

article  that  can  be  collected  about  a  house,  and  is  a  cash  article  with  the  col- 
lectors  of  soap-fat  and  ashes.  This  allowance  Is  a  temptation  to  waste  and 
destroy,  by  throwing  things  into  the  tub  of  soap-fat.  So  also  the  ashes  is  a 
temptation  to  keep  up  a  rousing  fire,  and  consume  wood  for  the  sake  of  the 
residuum.— Amcr,  Ed. 


DUTIES  OF  A  COOK.  133 

never  entered  the  house  have  been  charged  in  the  bills 
The  articles  thus  placed  to  the  credit  of  the  customer,  are 
technically  termed  "the  dead  man's  portion;"  and  the 
produce  obtained  is  divided  between  the  defrauding  parties, 

It  is  very  unpleasant  to  entertain  doubts  as  to  the  integ- 
rity of  those  we  employ  about  us,  and  on  whom  we  must 
necessarily  rely  in  some  degree.  The  best  check,  how- 
ever, against  these  practices,  is  to  permit  your  servants  as 
seldom  as  possible  to  have  any  thing  to  do  with  your  bills, 
and  to  carry  on  all  your  dealings  with  your  tradespeople 
in  person. 

Also  I  recommend  you  to  acquire  as  early  as  you  can, 
a  knowledge  of  the  quantity  which,  of  each  of  the  common 
articles  of  housekeeping,  must  necessarily  be  consumed 
in  your  family.  When  you  have  ascertained  that,  you 
may  judge  each  week  for  yourself,  whether  dishonesty  or 
extravagance  has  been  practised  in  your  house,  always, 
however,  taking  into  the  account  the  circumstances  of  the 
week,  which  may  have  increased  this  consumption. 

Extravagance  is  frequently  found  accompanied  by  dis- 
honest intentions ;  proceeding  chiefly  from  careless  indif- 
ference to  the  interest  of  master  and  mistress.  From  what- 
ever cause  it  proceed,  vigilance  is  absolutely  necessary, 
either  in  the  housekeeper  or  her  mistress.  It  is  part 
of  the  cook's  duty  to  take  such  charge  of  meat,  beer, 
bread,  butter,  cheese,  and  all  the  articles  of  common  con- 
sumption, as  shall  prevent  any  degree  of  waste.  Not  the 
most  vigilant  mistress  or  housekeeper  can  attend  suffi- 
ciently to  this  point :  the  cook,  therefore,  must  be  in  a 
great  measure  responsible.  The  greatest  check  the  mis- 
tress of  a  family  can  have  over  her  cook,  is  to  show  her 
that  she  has  a  thorough  knowledge  of  the  quantity  of 
each  article  that  must  necessarily  be  consumed,  according 
to  the  size  of  her  family,  and  that  when  this  quantity  has 
been  exceeded,  she  expects  to  have  it  accounted  for. 
.Accumulations  of  small  pieces  of  bread  ought  never  to 
12 


134  DUTIES  OP  A  COOK. 

take  place,  with  a  clever  cook,  who  will  always  insist 
upon  having  those  fragments  eaten  by  the  servants  before 
fresh  pieces  are  cut  from  the  loaf.  When  there  are  any 
pieces  left,  she  can  pour  boiling  milk  over  them,  and 
prepare  a  common  bread  pudding  for  the  early  dinner. 
There  is  frequent  waste  in  the  consumption  of  beer,  owing 
to  too  much  of  it  being  generally  drawn  at  a  time.  When 
this  happens  to  be  the  case,  a  thoughtful  cook  will  remem- 
ber that  a  crust  of  bread  put  into  it,  and  the  jug  covered 
over,  will,  for  a  short  time,  prevent  it  from  becoming- 
very  flat. 

A  good  cook  will  always  be  careful  that  the  spits  are 
wiped  clean  while  they  are  hot,  and  left  ready  for  the 
next  day's  use.  The  jack  should  be  oiled  and  cleaned 
occasionally,  or  the  dust  will  clog  the  wheels,  prevent  it 
going  well,  and  will  make  it  necessary  to  have  it  taken 
down  and  more  thoroughly  cleaned.  It  is  bad  manage- 
ment in  a  cook  ever  to  be  without  hot  water ;  especially 
if  she  live  in  a  family  where  there  are  young  children,  for 
whom  it  is  in  frequent,  and,  sometimes,  immediate  demand. 
The  salt-box  and  candle-box  should  both  be  kept  very 
clean.  The  former  should  be  hung  near  the  fire,  as  com- 
mon salt  attracts  water  from  the  air  and  dissolves ;  and 
the  latter  as  far  from  the  fire  as  it  can  be,  in  a  dry  place. 

Silver  spoons  should  never  be  used  in  the  kitchen,  unless 
for  preparing  preserves ;  wooden  and  iron  spoons  are  as 
cleanly,  and  may  be  used  without  fear  of  scratching  or 
bending  them. 

The  cook  should  not  permit  the  dust-hole  to  remain 
long  without  having  it  emptied,  and  no  cabbage  leaves  or 
green  vegetable  matter  should  be  allowed  to  be  thrown 
into  it.  These  soon  ferment,  and  the  sulphuretted  hydro- 
gen gas,  which  is  extricated,  causes  an  intolerable  stench. 

I  am  afraid  you  will  think  I  am  growing  tedious,  and 
that  I  have  entered  too  much  into  detail. 

MRS.  L. — On  the  contrary  I  am  going  to  request  you  to 


DUTIES  OF  A  HOUSE3IAID.  136 

give  me  as  minute  an  a  ount  of  the  housemaid's  duties 
— I  am  persuaded  that  information  of  the  kind  you  give 
me  will  enable  me  the  better  to  direct  the  business  of  my 
household. 

MRS.  B. — A  housemaid  should  be  active,  clean,  and 
neat  in  her  person ;  an  early  riser ;  of  a  respectful  and 
steady  deportment,  and  possessed  of  a  temper  that  will 
not  be  easily  ruffled.  She  must  be  able  to  see,  without 
much  appearance  of  discomposure,  her  labours  often  in- 
ereased  by  the  carelessness  and  thoughtlessness  of  others. 
Many  a  dirty  foot  will  obtrude  itself  upon  her  clean  floors  ; 
and  the  well-polished  furniture  will  demand  her  strength 
and  patience,  when  spotted  or  soiled  by  some  reckless 
hand.  These  trials  her  temper  should  be  equal  to  en- 
counter, for  they  cannot  always  be  averted 

The  sitting  rooms  in  daily  use  are  first  to  be  prepared. 
Upon  entering  the  room,  in  the  morning,  the  housemaid 
.should  immediately  open  the  windows,  to  admit  the  fresh 
air ;  she  should  then  remove  the  fender  and  rug  from  the 
fire-place,  and  cover,  with  a  coarse  cloth,  the  marble 
hearth,  while  the  ashes  and  cinders  are  collected  together 
and  removed.  The  grate  and  fire-irons  are  afterwards  to 
be  carefully  cleaned.  If  the  grate  have  bright  bars,  it 
should  be  rubbed  with  fine  emery  paper,  which  will  re- 
move the  burnt  appearance  of  the  bars.  Fine  polished 
fire-irons,  if  not  suffered  to  rust,  will  only  require  to  be 
well  rubbed  with  a  leather ;  when,  however,  there  is  un- 
fortunately any  appearance  of  rust  upon  them,  it  must  be 
removed,  either  with  fine  emery  paper,  or  with  a  little 
putty  powder  rubbed  on  the  rusty  part ;  but,  if  emery 
paper  be  employed,  this  must  be  done  with  care,  or  the 
steel  will  be  scratched.  I  have  seen  the  white  ashes, 
which  result  from  burning  Staffordshire  coals,  employed 
for  this  purpose ;  and  from  their  softness  they  appear  to 
answer  the  intention  better  than  any  of  the  other  articles 
yvhich  are  commonly  used. 


136  DUTIES  OF  A  HOUSEMAID. 

The  carpet  should  be  swept  with  the  carpet  broom, 
not  oftener  than  once  a  week,  as  more  frequent  use  of  the 
broom  would  wear  the  carpet  too  fast ;  but,  each  day,  it 
should  be  swept  with  a  good  hair  broom,  after  it  has  been 
sprinkled  with  moist  tea  leaves.  I  ought  to  mention  that 
sofas,  and  any  other  nice  furniture,  should  be  covered  over 
with  a  large  calico  cloth,  kept  for  that  purpose,  before  the 
sweeping  commences;  and  window-curtains  should  be 
hung  up  as  high  as  they  can  be  out  of  the  way  of  the  dust. 
After  the  carpet  Is  swept,  the  dust  must  be  removed,  either 
with  a  soft  round  brush,  or  with  a  very  clean  linen  duster, 
from  the  panels  of  the  doors,  the  windows  and  window- 
frames,  ledges,  and  skirting  boards.  The  frames  of  pic- 
tures and  looking-glasses  should  never  be  touched  with 
linen,  but  the  dust  should  be  cleared  from  them  with  a 
painter's  brush,  or  a  bunch  of  feathers.  Where  footmen 
are  kept,  the  charge  of  rubbing  mahogany  furniture  de- 
volves on  them,  otherwise  it  becomes  the  care  of  the 
housemaid.  The  chairs  and  tables  should  be  rubbed  well 
every  day ;  and  on  the  mahogany  tables  a  little  cold  drawn 
linseed  oil  should  be  rubbed  in  once  or  twice  a  week, 
which  will,  in  time,  give  them  a  durable  varnish,  such  as 
will  prevent  their  being  spotted  or  injured  by  being  ac- 
cidentally wetted.  The  Italians,  after  thus  saturating  the 
surface  with  oil,  apply  a  solution  of  gum  arabic  in  boiling 
spirit  of  wine.  Bees-wax  should  not  be  used,  as  it  gives 
a  disagreeable  stickiness  to  every  thing,  and  ultimately 
becomes  opaque.  When  there  are  any  spots  or  stains  upon 
a  table,  they  must  be  washed  off  with  warm  water  before 
the  oil  is  put  on. 

The  chimney-ornaments,  glass-lustres,  or  china,  should 
be  very  carefully  removed  while  the  mantel-piece  is  either 
washed  or  dusted ;  and  as  the  housemaid  replaces  them, 
she  should,  with  a  clean  duster,  wipe  them  free  from  the 
dust.  The  window-curtains  are  then  to  be  dusted  with 
a  feather  broom,  and  properly  replaced  on  the  hook. 


DUTIES  OF  A  HOUSEMAID.  137 

About  once  a  week  the  sills^of  the  windows  should  be 
washed  with  soap  and  water,  and  the  windows  cleaned 
from  the  dust  every  where  within  reach. 

The  stairs  and  stair-carpets  should  next  be  swept  down, 
if  time  will  allow  of  this  duty  before  breakfast,  as  it  is  not 
a  pleasant  thing  to  be  done  when  the  family  are  moving 
about.  And  whenever  good  opportunities  occur,  such  as 
the  chief  part  of  the  family  being  absent  from  home  for  a 
few  hours,  the  housemaid  should  avail  herself  of  these  to 
take  the  stair  carpets  up,  and  have  them  well  beaten  and 
shaken,  while  she  scours  the  stairs  down,  and  rubs  the 
brass  wires  bright.  The  wainscot-board  should  also  be 
washed,  and  the  banisters  and  hand-rail  well  rubbed. 

As  soon  as  the  different  members  of  the  family  are  as 
sembled  at  breakfast,  the  housemaid  should  repair  to  the 
bed-chambers,  open  the  windows  (unless  the  weather  be 
damp),  draw  the  curtains  up  to  the  head  of  the  bed,  throw 
the  bed-clothes  upon  two  chairs  placed  at  the  foot  of  each 
bed,  and  leave  the  feather-beds  open  to  the  air.  When 
this  has  been  done  in  all  the  rooms  in  use,  she  should  then 
bring  her  chamber-bucket,  with  a  jug  of  hot  water,  and 
with  the  proper  towels,  empty  and  clean  out  all  the  cham- 
ber-vessels in  each  room,  and  then  instantly  carry  off,  empty, 
and  wash  out  the  bucket,  and  turn  it  down  in  some  appro- 
priate place,  that  the  water  may  completely  run  off  from 
it.  When  quite  dry,  she  will,  of  course,  carry  it  to  the 
closet  appointed  for  her  use,  in  which  she  keeps  her 
brooms,  brushes,  and  the  rest  of  her  cleaning  apparatus. 

She  should  next  carry  water-jugs,  one  with  soft  water, 
and  another  with  pump-water,  into  every  bed-room,  and 
fill  the  water-ewers  and  decanters.  The  towels  should  be 
put  before  an  open  window  to  dry,  or  be  changed ;  and 
the  washing  table  put  into  complete  order.  The  beds, 
which  during  this  time  have  been  left  exposed  to  the  air, 
have  now  to  be  made,  and  in  this  another  of  the  female 
servants  should  be  appointed  to  help  her,  as  the  feather- 
12* 


138  PUTIES  OP  A  HOUSEMAID. 

oeds  cannot  be  well  shaken,  or  the  mattresses  turned,  by 
one  person.  It  is  very  necessary  that  feather-beds  should 
be  well  shaken,  or  the  feathers  will  knot  together,  and 
render  the  bed  hard  and  uncomfortable.  Onfce  or  twice 
a  week  the  paillasses  should  be  turned,  and  every  day  the 
flock-matresses  and  the  beds.  The  sacking-cloth  and  bed- 
stead should  be  dusted  occasionally.  It  is  necessary  to 
remind  those  who  are  called  from  other  household  work 
to  assist  in  making  the  beds,  that  they  should  previously 
wash  their  hands,  as  nothing  looks  more  untidy  or  dis- 
gusting, than  the  marks  of  dirty  fingers  upon  the  bed- 
hangings,  sheets,  or  counterpanes.  With  cleanly  servants 
this  can  seldom  occur.  The  beds  being  made,  the  curtains 
are  to  be  shaken  and  laid  upon  the  bolster,  and  a  large 
calico  coverlet  should  be  thrown  over  the  whole,  and  coarse 
towels  over  the  washing  and  dressing-tables.  If  the  bed- 
carpets  are  small  and  loose,  they  should  be  taken  up  be- 
fore the  beds  are  made ;  but  if  they  are  fastened  down, 
which  is  very  customary  now,  damp  tea-leaves  should  be 
strewed  over  them  previous  to  their  being  swept  with  a 
stout  hair  brush.  After  the  room  is  swept,  a  damp  mop 
or  flannel,  passed  under  the  beds,  the  chests  of  drawers 
and  wardrobes  collects  the  flue  and  dust,  and  this  I  re- 
commend to  be  done  every  day,  as  the  best  mode  of 
keeping  bed-rooms  free  from  troublesome  insects  of  every 
kind.  A  clean  mop  should  belong  to  the  housemaid  for 
this  purpose.  Nothing  betrays  an  untidy  housemaid  more 
than  the  flue  being  suffered  to  accumulate  beneath  the 
beds.  After  the  room  is  swept,  the  ledges,  panels  of 
doors,  and  window-frames  are  all  to  be  dusted,  and  the 
furniture  rubbed  and  dusted.  Twice  during  the  week  bed- 
room carpets  should  be  taken  up  and  shaken,  and  the 
floors  under  them  swept  free  from  dust,  and  occasionally 
scoured.  In  the  country,  scouring  is  not  so  frequently 
done  as  in  town,  but  the  floors  are  oftener  dry-rubbed  ; 
and  in  my  opinion  frequent  scouring  might  be  avoided  if 


DUTIES  OF  A  HOUSEMAID.  139 

the  housemaids  would  bestow  more  pains  in  sweeping, 
dry-rubbing,  and  dusting.  In  winter,  a  bed-room  should 
never  be  scoured,  unless  the  weather  be  mild  and  dry*  for 
nothing  is  so  likely  to  injure  health  as  damp  in  a  bed-room. 
As  soon  as  a  housemaid  thinks  she  has  finished  a  room,  she 
ought  to  look  around  her,  and  examine  if  she  has  omitted 
anjr  thing,  which  will  show  care  and  attention,  and  prevent 
her  mistress  from  being  obliged  to  call  her  up,  to  admo- 
nish her  of  any  neglect.  During  the  winter,  when  there  are 
fires  in  the  bed-rooms,  the  housemaid  should,  before  sweep- 
ing the  room,  collect  and  carry  aw  ay  the  ashes,  clean  the 
grate  and  fire-irons,  and  lay,  with  small  pieces  of  wood,  a 
neat  fire,  ready  to  be  lighted  either  before  dinner  or  at 
night,  according  to  orders.  While  the  family  are  at  dinner, 
the  housemaid  should  again  repair  to  the  dressing  and  bed 
rooms,  to  put  in  order  those  things  which  have  been  used 
and  disarranged  at  the  dressing  hour.  Between  the  time 
of  her  own  dinner  and  tea,  she  ought  to  be  employed  in 
sewing,  perhaps  in  repairing  the  household  linen,  or  in  any 
work  appointed  for  her.  Early  in  the  evening  the  beds 
should  be  turned  down,  the  windows  shut,  the  curtains 
drawn,  the  fires,  if  required,  lighted,  and  the  rooms  all 
prepared  for  the  night. 

MRS.  L.— -Who  has  usually  the  charge  of  the  household 
linen  ? 

MRS.  B. — This  devolves  on  the  housekeeper  generally, 
but  in  small  families  the  housemaids  have  the  care  of  it. 
Before  it  is  sent  to  be  washed,  it  should  be  examined,  and 
if  any  part  require  to  be  repaired,  it  should  be  kept  back. 
The  housemaid  should  keep  an  account  of  the  number  of 
the  articles  that,  are  sent  to  the  laundry,  and  count  them 
over  on  their  return,  to  see  that  all  are  right,  and  well 
aired ;  and  should  replace  them  in  the  linen-press.  In 
putting  by  the  fresh-washed  linen,  care  should  be  taken 
to  place  it  so  that  the  whole  stock  may  come  into  use  in 
regular  succession,  by  placing  it,  for  instance,  under  the 


140  DUTIES  OF  A  LAUNDRY-MAID. 

rest  of  the  linen,  or  at  the  back  of  the  press.  If  the  linen 
be  put  damp  into  the  linen-closet,  it  will  be  mildewefl, 
and  stains  produced  which  cannot  easily  be  removed.  A 
good  housemaid  will  manage  her  work  in  so  methodical  a 
manner,  that  she  will  never  either  feel  or  appear  to  be 
hurried.  Every  day  in  the  week  will  have  its  allotted 
portion  of  the  weekly  cleaning ;  by  which  means  no  one 
day  will  be  surcharged  with  work,  so  as  to  occasion  bustle 
or  annoyance  in  the  family.  The  drawing-room,  the 
dining-room,  and  the  library,  she  should  contrive  to  clean 
thoroughly  at  those  times  in  which  the  family  are  absent. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  looking  out  for  a  good  laundry-maid  ; 
what  ought  I  to  require  from  her  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  would  certainly  advise  you  to  procure  one 
who  has  been  accustomed  to  the  business  of  the  laundry, 
as  that  is  not  a  department  which  you  can  yourself  super- 
intend ;  nor  can  a  housekeeper  do  so  to  any  great  extent, 
without  neglecting  some  of  her  other  avocations.  Your 
eyes  will  quickly  tell  you  if  she  wash  the  linen  clean,  and 
get  up  fine  muslin  tolerably  well.  If  this  should  not  be 
the  case,  you  must,  certainly,  notice  it  directly,  or  the 
colour  of  your  linen  will  be  injured. 

One  thing  you  must  remember,  that  your  laundry  should 
have  every  convenience  to  facilitate  the  work.  The  wash- 
house  should  be  well  supplied  with  soft  water,  boilers, 
and  tubs.  A  washing  machine  saves  labour,  but  I  believe 
that  the  clothes  are  not  so  well  washed  as  by  the  hand ; 
and  some  imagine  that  it  wears  out  the  linen,  and  tears  it. 
In  the  laundry  there  should  be  a  good  stove  (for  the  double 
purpose  of  heating  the  irons  and  airing  the  linen),  and 
also  a  mangle. 

Muslins  and  light  things  should  be  washed  in  clean 
water,  as  their  colour  cannot  be  preserved  if  any  other 
apparel  have  been,  previously,  washed  in  the  water.  I 
am  convinced  that  the  laundry-maid  would  much  more 
easily  preserve  the  good  colour  of  her  linen,  and  even 


DUTIES  OF  A  LAUNDRY-MAID.  141 

spare  her  own  hands,  if  she  changed  the  water  more  fre- 
quently, although  it  might  occasion  a  greater  expenditure 
of  soap.  Flannels  are  sometimes  washed  in  cold  water, 
mixed  with  ox  or  sheep  gall ;  but  this  is  the  old-fashioned 
mode,  and  many  ladies  now  prefer  to  have  them  washed 
in  clean  hot  water.  The  colour  of  flannel  is  entirely  lost 
if  it  be  washed  in  water  in  which  any  thing  else  has  been 
previously  rinsed.* 

Besides  the  essential  articles  of  soap,  blue,  and  starch, 
the  laundry-maid  should  always  have  a  supply  of  salt  of 
lemon,  citrate  of  potass,  and  bleaching  liquid,  with  which 
to  remove  inkspots,  iron-moulds,  or  other  stains  from  the 
linen  before  it  is  washed. 

The  quantity  of  soap  used  in  a  week's  wash  may  be 
reckoned  at  the  rate  of  half  a  pound  per  head  ;  which 
includes  the  washing  of  the  household  linen  as  well.  The 
quantity  of  starch  depends,  of  course,  upon  the  number  of 
articles  to  be  starched.  Sometimes  it  is  fashionable  to 
have  muslin  dresses  starched ;  and  when  table  linen  is  old 
and  thin,  a  little  starch  improves  their  appearance,  by  giving 
them  something  of  the  consistency  of  new  linen. 

Some  laundry-maids  are  so  careless  as  to  tear  the  linen 
in  stirring  it  while  boiling,  making  use  of  any  rough  stick 
they  can  find  ;  and,  also,  sometimes  to  permit  the  water 
in  the  copper  to  get  very  low,  by  which  means  the  linen 
is  liable  to  be  scorched  by  the  fire.  Such  negligence 
should  always  be  reproved.  Soap  is  an  article  very  easily 
wasted  by  a  careless  servant,  and  it  requires  some  vigi- 
lance, either  in  the  housekeeper  or  in  the  mistress  of  a 
family,  to  prevent  it.  VVhen  the  quantity  used  weekly 
has  been  ascertained,  it  should  be  weighed  out  for  each 
washing,  nor  should  the  laundry-maid  be  permitted  to 

*  When,  from  frequent  washings,  flannels  have  lost  their  colour,  it  may  be 
restored  by  fumigating  them  with  sulphur.  An  easy  way  to  do  this  is  to  place 
the  burning  sulphur  under  an  inverted  basket,  over  which  the  flannels  are 
laid. 


142  DUTIES  OP  A  NURSE-MAID- 

exceed  it,  without  some  apparent  reason  being  given  for 
the  additional  consumption. 

Small  coal  and  cinders  will  serve  as  fuel  for  stoves  and 
coppers,  after  they  are  well  lighted. 

Horse-hair  lines  for  hanging  out  the  linen  should  be 
taken  down  when  not  in  constant  use,  and  before  they  are 
again  put  up  they  should  be  wiped  very  clean. 

MRS.  L. — The  servant  whose  character  and  qualifica- 
tions are  of  the  greatest  importance,  in  a  family  where 
there  are  children,  is  certainly  the  nurse-maid.  Far 
removed  as  my  nursery-days,  in  many  particulars,  are  from 
my  recollection,  I  can  still  remember  the  anxiety  which 
jrose  to  my  parents,  and  the  sufferings  of  the  children, 
from  the  great  defects  of  the  nursery-attendants, — some- 
times from  their  mismanagement,  and  sometimes  from  the 
peculiarities  of  their  tempers. 

I  request  you  to  give  me  your  opinion  of  the  chief 
qualifications  which  ought  to  be  required  in  a  nurse-maid. 

MRS.  B. — I  am  afraid  it  is  not  very  usual  to  examine  so 
strictly  into  the  requisites  for  a  good  nurse-maid,  as  it  is  to 
ascertain  those  of  servants  in  other  departments  ;  yet  I 
concur  in  your  opinion,  and  think  that  the  chief  attention 
of  a  parent  ought  to  be  given  to  the  character  and  general 
conduct  of  the  person  to  whom  she  intrusts  her  children, 
rather  than  to  the  examination  of  the  various  perfections 
of  her  cook  and  footman.  There  is,  however,  much  more 
care  and  attention  paid  to  the  duties  of  the  nursery  in  this 
age,  than  in  any  preceding  one,  for  which  modern  mothers 
deserve  commendation,  even  if  they  do  not  always  disco- 
ver judgment  in  proportion  to  their  solicitude. 

Were  I  at  this  moment  selecting  a  nurse-maid,  I  would 
endeavour  to  find  a  woman  of  about  five  or  six  and  twenty 
years  of  age.  If  she  be  younger,  she  may  be  deficient  in 
thoughtfulness  and  care,  and,  if  older,  in  activity  and  good 
humour.  Servants,  from  being,  early  in  life,  put  to  labo- 
rious employments,  may  be  said  to  be  at  maturity  much 


DUTIES  OF  A  JKURSE-HAID.  143 

sooner  than  females  of  a  higher  rank  and  of  more  seden- 
tary employments.  I  have  known  maid-servants  of  not 
much  more  than  thirty  years  of  age,  who,  from  their  want 
of  activity  and  vigour,  one  would  have  guessed  to  be 
upwards  of  fifty. 

In  person  I  would  have  my  nurse-maid  middle-sized, 
Muscular,  and  not  inclined  to  be  fat,  of  a  healthy  com- 
plexion, and  cheerful  countenance  ;  I  should  without  doubt 
decline  having  one  who  had  any  striking  peculiarity  or 
defect  in  her  person ;  for  instance,  any  nervous  motion 
of  the  features,  a  cast  of  the  eye,  or  any  bodily  deformity. 
If  the  moral  principles  of  a  nurse-maid  be  fixed,  I  would 
even  consider  beauty  as  a  valuable  property ;  for  I  have 
remarked  that  children  are  such  imitative  beings  that  they 
generally  acquire  some  resemblance  to  those  with  whom 
they  always  associate  ;  and  1  consider  that  beauty  of  per- 
son, when  united  with  rectitude  of  conduct,  constitutes  the 
perfection  of  the  human  species.  The  general  health  of 
a  nurse-maid  should  be  good  ;  consumptive  tendencies 
are  particularly  objectionable  ;  and  rheumatic  complaints 
and  constitutional  head-aches  are  troublesome,  and  must 
deprive  those  who  are  subject  to  them,  not  only  for  the 
time  being,  but  generally,  of  that  cheerful  state  of  spirits 
which  would  induce  them  to  be  lively  and  active  with  the 
children  whom  they  may  have  in  charge. 

It  is  scarcely  necessary  to  speak  of  the  much  greater 
importance  of  good  morals  in  a  nurse-maid  than  any  other 
qualification  whatsoever.  What  irreparable  mischief  may 
be  done  to  the  infant-conscience  by  the  tutorage  and  in- 
fluence of  a  specious,  deceptive  woman  ?  She  may  per- 
vert the  mind  and  control  the  conduct  of  her  nurslings 
for  a  length  of  time,  without  exciting  the  suspicions  of 
even  a  vigilant  parent,  who,  deluded  into  security  by  ap- 
pearances, fancies  she  possesses  in  her  nurse  a  treasure  of 
no  small  value,  until  some  circumstance  occurs,  which  re- 


144  DUTIES  OF  A  NURSE-MAID. 

moves  the  film  from  her  eyes,  and  turns  them  with  painful 
conviction  upon  the  havoc  around  her. 

MRS.  L. — My  own  experience  tells  me  that  the  truth  of 
your  representation  cannot  be  doubted.  I  can  remember 
many  events  in  my  childhood,  which  arose  from  the  disin- 
genuousness  practised  and  inculcated  by  our  nurse.  I 
hope,  however,  the  effects  have  not  been,  in  our  case,  last- 
ing, although  there  be  lamentable  instances  of  its  conse- 
quences in  others.  Do  you  not  think  that  deceit  is  a  less 
common  failing  among  servants  of  this  day  than  it  was  for- 
merly, when  less  attention  was  paid  to  their  religious 
education  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  is  less  ignorance  among  them,  and 
they  are  become  thereby  more  aware  of  the  advantages 
they  themselves  derive  from  an  adherence  to  truth.  I  wish 
I  could  believe  that  a  worthier  principle  more  generally 
actuated  them.  For  such  as  it  is,  however,  we  have  rea- 
son to  rejoice,  as  it  lessens  the  probability  of  evils  spring- 
ing from  hypocrisy  in  our  nurseries. 

Some  failings  are,  certainly,  increased  among  the  pre- 
sent generationof  servants,  but  I  agree  with  you  in  thinking- 
deceit  less  common  than  formerly.  Neither  do  1  think 
that  sobriety  is  so  frequently  wanting  in  women  servants 
as  it  used  to  be ;  yet,  as  I  have  heard  of  some  instance? 
of  flagrant  inebriety  among  them,  it  is  as  well  to  be  on  our 
guard  against  it.  One  lady,  with  whom  I  am  acquainted, 
had  a  favourite  nurse  for  eight  years,  who,  about  the  end 
of  that  time,  she  discovered,  was  addicted  to  drinking ; 
and  had  been  in  the  daily  habit,  when  walking  out  with 
the  children,  of  calling  at  a  house  in  which  she  could  pro- 
cure spirits.  What  the  children  had  heard  or  seen  in  this 
haunt  of  vice  was  a  cause  of  painful  anxiety  to  the  aston- 
ished mother ;  and  it  was  long  before  she  could  again 
suffer  them  to  be  out  of  her  sight.  Another  lady,  upon 
hearing  her  baby  cry,  unusually  long,  in  the  middle  of  the 


DUTIES  OF  A  NURSE-MAID.  145 

uight,  went  into  her  nursery,  and  found  her  nurse  lying  on 
the  floor  in  the  stupor  of  intoxication. 

Honesty  is  such  an  essential  requisite  in  every  domestic, 
that  it  seems  scarcely  necessary  to  mention  it.  Every 
one  will  be  cautious  upon  a  point  of  character,  which  will 
affect  the  security  of  his  property.  But  having  heard  it 
suggested,  that  the  example  of  petty  pilfering,  in  early 
life,  may  have  been  the  origin  of  that  singular  inclination 
to  theft,  which  has  now  and  then  occurred  in  individuals 
of  rank  and  affluence,  from  whom  the  common  causes  of 
temptation  seemed  far  removed,  I  am  unwilling  to  omit 
mentioning  any  point  which  may  tend  to  increase  your 
precaution  regarding  the  honesty  of  a  nurse-maid,  and 
render  your  investigation  as  strict  as  possible.  General 
steadiness  and  propriety  of  conduct  are  also  indispen- 
sable. 

Besides  these  good  qualities,  your  nurse-maid  should  be 
very  active,  not  a  heavy  sleeper,  and  a  tolerably  early 
riser.  She  should  be  particularly  cleanly  in  her  person, 
washing  herself  almost  as  frequently  as  she  washes  the 
children.  She  should  be  a  good  needle-woman,  and  take 
a  pleasure  in  seeing  her  little  charges  neat  in  their  dress  ; 
at  least  as  much  so  as  is  consistent  with  the  active  sports  in 
which  they  should  be  encouraged  to  delight.  She  ought 
not  to  be  fond  of  visiting,  and  should  content  herself  with 
such  portions  of  time  for  relaxation  as  may  be  convenient 
to  her  mistress,  and  compatible  with  the  duties  of  the 
nursery.  A  kind  heart,  and  a  capability  of  attaching  her- 
self to  the  little  dependants  on  her  care  and  attention, 
should  be  among  the  ingredients  which  compose  her  cha- 
racter, and  by  which  she  will  be  enabled  to  undergo  with 
patient  endurance  and  unremitting  attention  the  fatigue, 
by  day  and  night,  which  must  frequently  be  her  portion 
while  involved  in  the  arduous  task  of  rearing  the  tender 
infant,  or  in  attending  it  through  the  various  diseases  inci- 
dental to  early  life. 

13 


146  DUTIES  OF  A  FOOTMAN. 

MRS.  L. — One  possessed  of  so  many  good  qualities  will 
not  easily  be  found.  Would  you,  upon  discovering  defi- 
ciencies, immediately  part  with  a  servant  ? 

MRS.  B. — By  no  means,  until  you  have  tried  to  improve 
her.  Your  own  observation  and  care  may  prevent  much 
of  the  inconvenience  which  might  arise  from  the  attempted 
improvement ;  and,  even  with  the  best  servant,  this  kind 
of  vigilance  must  be  employed.  Servants  are  accustomed, 
from  the  moment  they  enter  into  service,  to  be  superin- 
tended, nor  do  they  ever  continue  long  in  a  right  course 
without  it.  If,  however,  after  a  sufficient  trial,  you  find  a 
servant  unimprovable,  it  will,  of  course,  be  advisable  to 
part  with  her ;  giving  her  that  length  of  notice  to  which 
you  agreed  when  you  hired  her. 

MRS.  L. — Do  not  the  duties  of  a  footman  vary  in  different 
families  ? 

MRS.  B. — They  must  necessarily  vary  according  to  the 
size  and  rank  in  society  of  the  family  into  which  the  indi- 
vidual enters.  In  small  families,  where,  perhaps,  only  one 
is  kept,  his  morning  employments  commence  with  the 
rougher  part  of  the  work  of  his  department,  such  as  clean- 
ing knives,  forks,  and  shoes,  brushing  clothes,  and  assisting 
the  house-maid  to  rub  the  mahogany,  or  other  polished 
furniture  in  the  libraries,  and  the  dining  and  drawing 
rooms. 

He  has  then  to  prepare  for  the  breakfast-hour,  by  washing 
and  cleaning  himself,  laying  the  cloth,  and  placing  every 
thing  in  readiness  on  the  breakfast-table  ;  seeing  that  the 
water  is  on  the  fire  in  proper  time,  that  no  delay  may 
arise,  on  his  part,  when  the  family  assemble  in  the  break- 
fast-room. To  keep  the  plate  in  good  order,  to  wash  the 
china  and  glass  well,  making  the  latter  as  bright  and  clear 
as  possible  ;  to  wash  and  wipe  clean  the  handles  of  knives 
and  forks ;  to  fold  up  and  put  away  from  the  dust  the 
breakfast-cloth  which  is  in  use,  are  the  employments  that 
generally  occupy  the  morning  hours  of  the  footman ;  while 


DUTIES  OF  A  FOOTMAN  147 

he  holds  himself  in  readiness  to  answer  bells,  and  to  open 
the  hall-door. 

Waiting  well  at  table  is,  also,  an  important  part  of  his 
employment.  He  should  be,  in  the  daily  habit  of  laying 
the  dinner-cloth  neatly,  and  in  good  time  ;  placing  for  each 
person  a  knife,  fork,  spoon,  plate,  and  napkin ;  a  tumbler, 
a  wine-glass,  and  a  chair.  When  there  is  soup,  a  soup- 
plate  should  be  placed  upon  the  other  plate  ;  but  this,  of 
course,  must  not  be  put  on  the  table  until  the  dinner  is 
about  to  be  served,  or  it  will  be  cold.  When  the  dinner 
is  on  the  table,  he  should  announce  it  to  the  family,  and 
place  himself  in  readiness  by  the  sideboard  until  they  have 
seated  themselves.  Then  he  should  be  all  attention ; 
active,  but  quiet ;  be  ready  to  hand  every  plate  in  turn, 
and  to  change  it  as  soon  as  required.  Bread,  wine,  or 
water,  when  handed  round,  should  be  presented  with  the 
left  hand  and  upon  the  left  side  of  the  person  served ;  and 
every  thing  should  be  handed  on  a  waiter.  He  should  be 
careful  never  to  reach  across  a  table,  nor  to  put  his  hand 
or  arm  before  any  one.  He  should  tread  lightly,  make  as 
little  noise  as  he  can  whilst  changing  plates  or  other  things, 
and  not  speak  too  loud  when  answering  a  question. 

Between  the  courses  the  crumbs  should  be  cleared  away, 
either  by  a  napkin  or  a  brush,  into  a  clean  plate.  After 
dinner  is  over,  and  the  table  cleared  of  every  thing  upon 
it,  the  table-cloth  must  be  lightly  thrown  together  and 
carried  off,  until  a  convenient  opportunity  occur- for  shaking 
the  crumbs  out  of  it  and  folding  it  up.  This  should  be 
done  as  soon  as  possible,  lest  the  cloth  acquire  a  rumpled 
and  untidy  appearance.  It  is  desirable  to  have  in  the 
butler's  pantry  a  table-cloth  press,  into  which  the  cloths 
in  use  may  be  put  as  soon  as  they  are  folded,  and  which, 
when  tightly  screwed  down,  keeps  them  uncrumpled. 

When  the  task  of  cleaning  the  knives  and  forks  is  part 
of  the  business  of  the  footman,  he  should,  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible after  they  have  been  used,  put  them  into  warm  water 


148  DUTIES  OF  A  FOOTMAff. 

(hot  water  will  unsolder  the  blades  from  the  handles),  and 
wipe  them  dry:  they  will  then  remain  without  injury  in 
the  proper  tray  till  the  usual  time  of  cleaning  them. 

A  willow  or  an  ash  board,  with  a  piece  of  buck-leather 
nailed  upon  it,  and  Bath-brick  dust,  will  be  necessary  to 
enable  him  to  clean  and  brighten  them  well.  The  brick 
dust  should  be  wiped  clean  off  with  a  coarse  knife-cloth, 
and  the  handles,  whether  of  bone  or  of  ivory,  should  be 
dipped  into  warm  water,  or  washed  with  a  soaped  flannel, 
and  wiped  clean  and  dry.  Nothing  can  be  more  disagree- 
able, either  to  the  sight  or  the  touch,  than  carelessly  cleaned 
knives  and  forks,  and  the  footman  should  be  spoken  to 
whenever  he  remits  his  attention  to  this  nicety.  Silver 
handles  should  be  cleaned  with  hartshorn  powder,  and 
rubbed  with  a  leather  ;  the  plate-brush  will  remove  any 
of  the  powder  that  may  lodge  either  in  the  chased  part 
or  in  ciphers  and  crests.  Ebony-handles  require  to  be 
wiped  with  a  piece  of  linen  dipped  in  oil,  which  must  be 
cleaned  away  with  another  cloth. 

The  pantry,  which  contains  the  glass,  china,  and  all  the 
various  articles  which  belong  to  the  footman's  province, 
should  be  properly  furnished  for  him,  with  shelves,  hooks, 
drawers  lined  with  green  baize  for  the  plate,  and  small 
wooden  tubs  or  bowls  for  washing  glass  and  china.  He 
should  have  two  large  pieces  of  leather  for  his  plate,  and 
two  smaller  for  the  candlesticks  and  snuffers.  He  should, 
according  to  the  size  of  the  family,  be  allowed  a  sufficient 
Dumber  of  glass,  tea,  and  knife-cloths,  each  week  ;  a  towel, 
a  bowl,  and  a  piece  of  soap,  to  enable  him  to  wash  his 
hands  very  frequently.  A  good  steady  servant  will  keep 
his  clothes  and  person  clean  and  neat :  he  will  be  parti- 
cularly careful  in  washing  his  hands,  being  called  upon 
constantly  to  wait  and  hand  about  so  many  various  things. 
In  many  families  the  footman  is,  very  properly,  not  allowed 
to  deliver  any  small  thing,  not  even  a  card  or  a  letter, 
except  on  a  waiter ;  and  this  custom,  independent  of  its 


THE  NURSERY.  149 

cleanliness,  begets  respect,  and  displays  a  propriety  of 
conduct  which  is  always  desirable  in  a  servant. 

A  good  footman,  when  sent  out,  will  not  waste  his  time, 
but  will  execute  his  errands  quickly,  and  return  to  his 
business.  Punctuality  is  an  important  quality  in  the  foot- 
man, who  ought  never  to  foil  in  time  when  ordered  to  attend 
either  his  master  or  his  mistress. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  aware  it  is  impossible  for  you,  my  dear 
madam,  to  give  me  a  minute  account  of  the  duties  of  the 
numerous  inferior  domestics  who  form  a  part  of  large  esta- 
blishments :  nor  can  such  detail  be  necessary,  as  they  are 
more  immediately  under  the  eye  and  charge  of  the  house- 
keeper and  the  steward,  and  probably  are  rarely  seen  by 
the  master  and  mistress  whom  they  serve. 

MRS.  B. — The  details  I  have  now  given  you  will  pro- 
bably be  more  useful  to  ladies  who  are  their  own  house- 
keepers, than  to  those  whose  rank  removes  them  from  any 
yery  minute  superintendence  of  domestic  concerns. 


CONVERSATION   IL 

THE  NURSERY. 

MRS.  L. — The  next  subject  upon  which  I  wish  to  con- 
verse with  you,  is  respecting  the  nursery.  Will  you  oblige 
me  by  affording  me  every  information  in  your  power  ? 

MRS*.  B. — To  a  person  like  yourself,  totally  inexpe- 
rienced in  the  affairs  of  the  nursery,  I  should  particularly 
advise  the  engaging  a  steady  upper  nurse  ;  one  who  has 
lived  in  a  family  of  good  habits.  I  have  seen  much 
anxiety  arise  from  the  consciousness  of  the  mother,  that 
her  own  ignorance  in  the  management  of  children  was 
13* 


150  THE  NURSERY. 

equalled  by  that  of  her  nurse-maid ;  and,  thence,  upon  any 
varying  appearance  in  her  child,  or  upon  the  occurrence 
of  any  of  those  petty  ailments  to  which  an  infant  is  liable, 
during  the  first  months  of  its  existence,  the  young  and 
affectionate  mother  endures  an  anxiety  and  agitation,  which 
would  not  be  exceeded  even  in  cases  of  the  utmost  ex- 
tremity. Here  the  experience  of  the  nurse  may  come  to 
her  aid,  and  allay  her  fears  by  the  assurance,  that  the 
indisposition  of  her  child  is  not  more  than  what  all  such 
little  frail  tenements  of  clay  must  undergo  upon  entering 
life.  Still,  every  mother  should  be  the  entire  mistress  of 
her  nursery,  and  direct  its  chief  concerns.  I  would  not 
have  her,  by  any  means,  place  herself  under  the  guidance 
of  her  servant,  nor  trust  to  her  judgment  beyond  the  power 
it  may  have  to  allay  her  own  too  ready  fears.  Until  her 
experience  shall  enable  her  to  administer  such  gentle 
medicines  as  may  be  sufficient  to  remove  slight  indisposi- 
tions, I  would  recommend  her  to  apply  to  her  medical 
attendant,  whose  advice,  if  he  be  a  sensible  man,  will  be 
a  useful  lesson  in  giving  aid  to  her  judgment,  while  it 
diminishes  her  fears. 

The  nurse  should  never  be  ^permitted  to  leave  an  infant 
even  while  sleeping,  and,  therefore,  she  ought  to  have  an 
assistant,  or  the  housemaid  should  be  appointed  to  bring 
such  things  as  she  may  require  into  the  nursery,  such  as 
coals  and  water,  her  different  meals,  and  the  food  prepared 
for  the  child.  When  there  are  two  or  three  young  children, 
an  under  nurse-maid  becomes  absolutely  necessary ;  and 
she,  too,  should  possess  a  good  and  willing  temper,  and 
cleanly  habits :  upon  her  waiting  upon  the  nursery  should 
devolve,  and  she  should  also  be  required  to  walk  oflt  with 
the  children.  She  should  be  a  sufficient  sempstress,  to 
assist  in  making  and  repairing  the  children's  clones. 

MRS.  L. — Do  you  not  think  a  nurse -maid  should  be  well 
aware  of  the  responsibility  attached  to  her  situation  ? 
^  MRS.  B. — If  you  are  fortunate  enough  to  meet  with  a 


THE  NURSERY,  161 

sensible  woman  as  a  nurse-maid,  you  may  perhaps  make 
her  comprehend,  without  giving  her  too  much  self-import- 
ance, how  very  much  the  future  welfare  of  your  children 
is  dependent  on  the  manner  in  which  their  first  years  are 
spent ;  and  that  all  the  anxious  cares  you  can  bestow  upon 
them  will  be  inefficient  if  they  be  not  in  some  measure 
seconded  by  hers.  She  is  your  deputy ;  and  for  the  breach 
of  such  regulations  and  restrictions  as  you  may  think  fit  to 
appoint  she  is  responsible. 

MRS.  L. — Would  you  allow  a  servant  to  correct  the 
children  whom  she  has  under  her  charge  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  would  on  no  account  permit  even  the  most 
unexceptionable  servant  to  inflict  on  children  personal  cor- 
rection ;  such  can  only  be  allowable  in  the  nursery  from 
the  hand  of  a  parent,  who  it  can  scarcely  be  supposed 
would  give  pain  to  her  offspring  from  any  angry  impulse 
of  the  moment,  but  only  from  the  conviction  that  such 
punishment  is  the  best  specific  for  the  fault  that  it  may 
have  committed.  But  the  mother,  who  suffers  her  children 
to  be  punished  by  her  hirelings,  of  whose  judgment  she 
can  have  had  little  reason  to  form  a  high  opinion,  yields  to 
them  a  power  more  likely  to  be  exercised  in  wrath,  than  in 
the  spirit  of  justice,  or  with  the  desire  to  prevent  the  repe- 
tition of  the  offence.  The  power  of  a  nurse  ought  to  ex- 
tend no  further  than  to  enforce  by  gentle,  but  decided  and 
firm  measures,  the  wishes  and  orders  of  the  parent ;  and, 
as  far  as  my  experience  enables  me  to  judge,  I  can  see 
little  reason  to  apprehend,  that  the  united  firmness  of  the 
parent  and  the  nurse  constantly  adhered  to,  will  noty-gene- 
rally  prove  successful,  in  bringing  .into  due  subjection  the 
most  powerful  rebel  in  the  nursery.  Yielding  and  coaxing- 
are  the  greatest  enemies  to  obedience ;  and,  when  the  nurse 
adopts  such  means  to  obtain  it,  she  shows  her  weakness 
to  those  most  willing  to  avail  themselves,  of  it,  and  she 
entails  upon  them  punishment  of  a  painful  nature,  which 
most  probably  will  be  the  remedy  applied  to  cure  the 


152  THE  NURSERY. 

evil  which  her  want  of  decision  has  occasioned.  If  on  the 
contrary,  she  had  known  how  to  preserve  a  determined 
manner  without  being  harsh,  obedience  would  have  become 
a  thing  of  course  with  her  little  charges  ;  and  I  can  venture 
o  affirm,  that  such  children  would  be  much  less  liable  to 
oe  peevish  and  passionate  than  (hose  whose  natural  wil- 
fulness  had  received  no  such  check. 

MRS.  L. — You  have  already  mentioned  the  grievous 
effects  which  may  arise  in  a  nursery  from  the  bad  princi- 
ples of  those  employed  in  it.  I  should  imagine  their 
habits  must  also  have  an  important  influence,  both  on  the 
health  and  the  morals  of  children. 

MRS.  B. — The  habits  of  a  nurse-maid  have  an  undisputed 
effect  on  the  health  of  an  infant,  and,  in  various  ways,  may 
be  detrimental  to  future  happiness.  Indeed,  both  physical 
and  moral  education  may  be  said  to  commence  with  the 
first  breath  of  life. 

The  habits  that  an  infant's  life  calls  immediately  into 
action  from  its  nurse,  are  thoughtfulness  and  cleanliness. 
A  nurse-maid  without  the  former,  will  not  think  sufficiently 
of  the  comfort  of  her  charge  :  she  will  hear  it  cry  without 
endeavouring  to  know  the  cause,  in  order  to  administer 
relief.  It  may  be  suffering  pain  from  bandages  and 
strings  too  tightly  drawn,  while  its  apparent  uneasiness,  if 
not  unheeded,  is  attempted  to  be  lulled  away,  rather  than 
the  cause  removed.  It  may  be  subject,  by  a  careless 
exposure  to  draughts  of  air,  or  from  the  effects  of  too 
glaring  a  light,  to  inflammation  of  the  eyes,  the  foundation 
of  future  diseases,  which  may  hereafter  impair  the  vision, 
if  not  destroy  it  altogether.  Sight,  being  the  most  delicate 
of  our  senses,  and,  I  think,  the  most  valuable  also,  canno 
oe  too  carefully  guarded.  The  hearing  also  may  be 
sacrificed  to  carelessness.  Leaving  the  head  damp  after 
washing,  and  exposure  to  cold  winds,  with  the  ears  not 
well  covered,  frequently  cause  the  ear-ache,  and  temporary 
deafness,  which  may  be  the  origin  of  that  disposition  to 


THE  NURSERY.  t53 

permanent  deafness,  which  frequently  shows  itself,  and 
saddens  the  latter  periods  of  life.  What  may  be  the  effects 
of  such  misfortunes  upon  the  character  and  disposition  of 
individuals  thus  afflicted,  it  is  not  possible  for  me  to  say ; 
but  generally  they  are  such  as  affectionate  parents  would 
earnestly  wish  to  avert  from  their  offspring.  From  the 
want  of  dleanliness  of  a  nurse,  the  health  of  a  child  may 
be  greatly  affected.  If  the  skin  be  not  well  washed,  the 
pores  will  become  clogged,  and  the  insensible  perspiration 
impeded,  by  which  the  whole  system  will  become  de- 
ranged ;  and  this  is  one  cause  of  the  squalid  appearance 
which  some  children  present.  Besides  this  inconvenience, 
that  want  of  cleanliness  and  order,  which  is  often  betrayed 
at  other  seasons  of  life,  may  be  attributable  to  such  defects 
having  prevailed  in  the  nursery,  in  which  I  believe,  that 
not  only  our  bodies  are  cradled  and  nourished,  but  also  the 
virtues  and  the  vices  of  our  minds. 

As  the  life  of  the  infant  proceeds,  the  activity  of  the 
nurse  is  another  habit  of  importance  to  it.  As  soon  as  its 
strength  will  permit,  it  should  be  in  gentle  motion  almost 
the  whole  of  the  day,  except  during  the  intervals  neces- 
sary for  its  sleep  and  nourishment.  A  child  of  four  months 
old  should  begin  to  spring  in  its  nurse's  arms ;  to  crow  at 
the  objects  which  attract  its  attention,  and  to  grasp,  though 
with  imperfect  vision,  at  the  things  beyond  its  reach.  But 
how  often  have  I  seen  the  reverse !  and  have  wished  to 
have  taken  from  the  dull  and  indifferent  nurse  the  little 
being  that  has  hung  heavily  upon  her  arms,  while  it  looked 
around  it  with  vacant  stupidity,  and  whined  half  the  day 
away,  merely  because  its  attention  was  not  roused,  nor 
that  natural  gratification  afforded  to  it,  which  children  de- 
rive from  the  unfolding  and  exercise  of  the  perceptive 
faculties.  A  very  sensible  nurse-maid,  whom  I  once  met 
with,  accustomed  herself,  whenever  she  saw  the  little  boy, 
of  whom  she  had  the  care,  looking  steadfastly  at  any  ob- 
ject, to  suffer  him  to  examine  it  well,  in  every  direction, 


154  THE  NURSERY. 

and  to  permit  him,  when  possible,  to  handle  it.  She 
would  also  call  his  attention  to  almost  every  object  which 
presented  itself  in  their  walks,  even  from  the  stately  ox  to 
the  spider  hidden  from  its  unwary  prey.  This  child  was 
afterwards  remarkable  for  his  accurate  observation,  and 
for  the  power  of  fixing  his  attention,  when  required,  upon 
his  various  studies.  I  have  no  doubt  he  was  indebted  to 
his  nurse  for  the  early  developement  of  these  powers, 
which  proved  most  advantageous  to  him  in  acquiring 
knowledge,  and  in  making  just  observations  on  his  progress 
through  life. 

MRS.  L. — What  great  acuteness  and  penetration  some 
children  evince,  in  discovering  the  traits  of  character  of 
those  who  are  about  them !  This  is  a  sufficient  reason  for 
caution  in  the  selection  of  their  attendants. 

MRS.  B. — And  a  motive  for  instructing  them,  as  to  the 
best  measures  to  adopt  towards  children.  In  general, 
when  a  child  has  arrived  at  this  age  of  observation,  and 
when  his  reasoning  powers  are  beginning  to  act,  a  war 
commences  in  the  nursery  between  himself  and  his  maid : 
she  is  resolute  to  continue  him  in  that  state  of  infantine 
subjection  most  pleasing  and  least  troublesome  to  herself, 
while  he  is  as  determined  to  escape  from  her  control. 
The  consequence  is  constant  altercation, — she  reprimand- 
ing and  threatening  to  appeal  to  the  higher  powers ;  all 
which  he  opposes,  if  not  with  equal  eloquence  or  com- 
manding voice,  with  as  much  defiance  as  he  can  express, 
and  by  every  petty  and  aggravating  insult  his  fertile  ima- 
gination can  suggest.  This  state  of  warfare  it  is  desirable, 
for  the  comfort  of  both  parties,  to  avoid.  But  where  there 
is  such  wilfulness  on  the  one  side,  and  but  little  good 
humour  and  judgment  on  the  other,  what  can  be  done? 
It  is  difficult  to  say,  unless  reform  could  be  effected  on  the 
one  part  so  as  to  induce  it  on  the  other.  An  active  and 
spirited  child,  of  four  or  five  years  of  age,  must  expend  a 
portion  of  his  spirits  in  freely  ranging  about  his  nursery 


THE  NURSERY.  165 

and  in  trying  the  strength  of  his  lungs.  All  the  reprimands 
which  the  nurse  can  bestow  will  not  check  him,  she 
would,  therefore,  do  well  to  yield  occasionally,  anj  only 
exert  her  authority  to  obtain  a  quiet  season,  when  the 
comfort  of  the  other  children  require  it.  Even  then  she 
should  be  provided  with  some  occupation  for  the  little 
blusterer  which  would  amuse  his  mind,  and  render  the 
change  agreeable  to  him.  A  box  of  bricks  for  building 
houses,  a  pencil  and  paper,  or  coloured  pictures,  I  have 
seen  afford  an  hour's  quiet  amusement  to  very  lively  chil- 
dren, while  the  younger  ones  were  having  their  morning's 
sleep.  It  is  an  excellent  art  in  a  nurse-maid  to  accustom 
children  to  amuse  and  occupy  themselves  ;  an  art  equally 
conducive  to  her  comfort  and  their  benefit.  If  she  thus 
preserve  their  good  temper  and  her  own,  she  will  not  find 
them  often  refractory.  They  will  obey  her  almost  withou* 
a  murmur  in  those  things  which  the  good  government  of 
the  nursery  requires.  The  great  comfort,  certainly,  of  the 
nursery  depends  upon  the  temper  and  management  of  the 
chief  attendant.  Children,  unless  they  are  ill,  are  gene- 
rally ready  to  be  pleased,  particularly  if  they  have  not 
been  permitted,  by  the  neglect  of  their  comfort  and  for 
want  of  suitable  amusement,  to  acquire  the  habit  of  fretful 
crying,  which,  besides  being  painful  to  hear,  is  most  likely 
to  end  in  forming  a  temper  of  confirmed  fretfulness  and 
discontent.  Although  we  know  wrhat  a  variety  of  disposi- 
tions even  one  nursery  may  produce,  and  how  differently 
each  may  be  affected  by  the  same  treatment  and  manage- 
ment, yet  I  am  much  inclined  to  believe  that  fretfulness 
and  discontent  will  seldom  prevail  where  the  nurse-maid 
is  lively,  active,  forgetful  of  herself,  and  possessing  the 
art  of  amusing,  or,  in  better  words,  of  occupying  the  little 
volatile  tenants  of  her  domain.  If  occupation  be  not  given 
•to  them,  they  will  contrive  to  make  it  for  themselves,  and 
thence  springs  that  incessant  complaint  of  some  nurse 
maids,  that  they  cannot  keep  the  children  out  of  mischief. 


i 


156  THE  NURSERY. 

One  mode  of  amusement  I  should,  without  doubt,  for- 
bid ;  I  mean  the  relation  of  stories  to  children  in  the 
nursery.  It  would  be  dangerous  to  allow  a  servant  to  de- 
cide what  narrations  are  or  are  not  proper  to  be  told; 
therefore  I  believe  it  is  better  to  prevent  this  amusement 
altogether,  and  to  supply  the  nursery  with  such  books  as 
may  be  suited  to  the  ages  of  the  children,  and  innocent  in 
their  effects  on  the  imagination. 

MRS.  L.— I  suppose  you  will  agree  with  me  in  prohibit- 
ing the  admission  of  the  nurse's  friends  and  visiters  to  the 
nursery  ? 

MRS.  B.— Certainly ;  as  productive  of  many  and  serious 
inconveniences.  During  such  visits  the  children  are  en- 
tirely neglected,  while  a  stream  of  gossip  flows  rapidly 
between  the  parties,  and  sweeps  away  the  reputation,  not 
only  of  the  families  they  serve,  but  of  as  many  more  as 
the  annals  of  the  servants'  hall  can  furnish  ;  complaints  are 
freely  vented  against  the  places  they  occupy,  and  some- 
times each  works  up  the  other  to  such  a  point  that  nothing 
but  leaving  their  places  can  then  satisfy  them.  All  this 
time  the  elder  children  may  have  been  auditors  of  this 
colloquy,  each  taking  in  as  much  as  his  comprehension 
permits,  and  each,  perhaps,  having  a  different,  and  all  an 
unfavourable,  impression  made  on  the  mind. 

Acquaintance  out  of  doors  are  also  evils.  Often  the 
children  are  kept  shivering  in  the  cold  during  long  parleys, 
running  great  danger  of  taking  not  only  severe  colds,  but 
of  catching  some  of  the  diseases  which  prevail  at  different 
seasons  of  the  year,  from  those  with  whom  they  are  thus 
made  to  associate.  I  have  no  doubt  that  children  often 
take  the  complaints  to  which  they  are  liable,  from  asso- 
ciating with  other  servants  and  children ;  and  perhaps  they 
may  receive  these  diseases  at  the  very  time  in  which  their 
constitutions  are  least  able  to  undergo  them  ;  and,  then,  a 
struggle  of  anxious  length  ensues  between  life  and  death. 
Yet,  is  this  inconvenience  most  difficult  to  remedy  in  town, 


CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN. .  167 

where  the  observation  of  the  mistress  can  scarcely  extend 
beyond  the  walls  of  her  house.  Great  as  the  inconve- 
niences are  in  allowing  this  intercourse  with  out-door  ac 
quaintances,  the  prohibition  is  hazardous  ;  for  it,  certainly, 
tends  to  the  practice  of  deceit  in  your  domestics,  and  to 
the  inculcating  of  it  in  your  children.  The  temptation  to 
gossip  is  powerful,  while  the  prohibition  is  perhaps  re- 
garded as  a  particularity  to  which  nothing  but  the  fear  of 
discovery  would  induce  attention :  and,  if  the  silence  or 
artfulness  of  the  children  can  oe  secured,  either  by  coax- 
ing or  by  threats,  I  am  afraid  the  prohibition  would  prove 
but  a  slight  restriction,  in  very  many  cases. 

Children,  in  general,  are  too  long  left  under  the  super- 
intendence of  the  nurse.  Boys,  in  particular,  should  be 
removed  from  the  nursery  at  six  years  of  age.  The  pa- 
rents have  no  right  to  object  to  any  additional  care  and 
anxiety  this  may  occasion  to  themselves :  they  owe  duties 
to  their  progeny  which  must  be  performed,  and  one  of 
these  is  to  lay  not  only  a  good  foundation  of  future  conduct, 
but  to  prevent  the  force  of  example  from  counteracting 
their  intentions,  at  the  earliest  age. 


CONVERSATION  III. 

CLOTHES   AND   FAMILY-LINEN. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  again  desirous  of  trespassing  on  your 
store  of  experience,  to  assist  my  immature  judgment  on 
various  other  points  besides  those  on  which  we  have  be- 
fore conversed.  As  I  must  in  future  study  the  best  mode 
of  purchasing  and  supplying,  not  only  the  various  articles 
of  my  own  dress,  but  every  thing  for  household  purposes, 
14 


158  CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN. 

I  shall  be  obliged  to  you  for  any  information  you  can  afibrd 
me  on  this  subject.  In  the  first  place,  with  regard  to  my 
personal  expenses,  I  find  I  shall  be  obliged  to  limit  them 
to  a  certain  sum,  at  the  same  time  my  dress  need  not  be 
otherwise  than  suitable  to  the  rank  I  hold,  provided  I  avoid 
extravagance  and  careless  wastefulness ;  I  have  now  an 
ample,  well-stocked  wardrobe,  but  how  shall  I  keep  it  in 
its  present  state,  with  my  moderate  means  ? 

MRS.  B. — A  woman's  wardrobe  may  be  divided  into 
two  parts, — the  ornamental  and  the  useful.  In  the  first  I 
include  all  the  various  articles  which  are  affected  by 
fashion  ;  every  thing,  in  fact,  of  external  dress.  In  these 
a  good  economist  will  avoid  a  superabundance.  She  will 
endeavour  to  check  that  feminine  weakness — the  love  of 
variety,  which  so  frequently  displays  itself  by  an  ever- 
varying  costume,  and  will  confine  the  ornamental  part  of 
her  wardrobe  into  as  narrow  bounds  as  the  extent  of  her 
general  style  of  living  and  visiting  will  permit.  Whim- 
sicality of  dress  is  no  proof  either  of  good  taste  or  of  good 
sense,  but  rather  results  from  the  absence  of  both,  or  from 
the  mistakea  notion,  that  to  attract  attention  is  to  g.->in  ad 
^miration.  But  whimsicality,  whether  shown  in  dress, 
manner,  or  opinion,  does  not  deserve,  and  never  obtains, 
permanent  admiration :  it  is  more  likely  to  meet  with  the 
smile  of  contempt  or  the  sneer  of  ridicule.  A  claim  to 
superiority  and  distinction  established  on  such  a  foundation 
has  nothing  to  secure  it.  It  is  those  qualities  only  that  are 
intrinsically  good  and  useful,  that  can  gain  permanent  ad- 
miration and  esteem.  It  is  true  that  every  one  who  lives 
much  in  society  must  follow  fashion  to  a  certain  extent,  or 
must  be  prepared  to  encounter  the  laugh,  and  perhaps  the 
scorn,  of  those  who  pronounce  judgment  on  appearances. 
But  it  is  extremes  on  either  side,  that  are  to  be  shunned 
by  all  who  wisely  prefer  propriety  and  consistency  to 
notoriety  and  peculiarity,  and  among  such,  I  trust,  you 
will  rank. 


CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN.  159 

Another  disadvantage  of  possessing  too  many  of  the 
ornamental  parts  of  female  attire,  is  the  fickleness  of 
fashipn,  and  the  constant  necessity  which  this  must  produce 
of  altering  the  forms  of  dresses,  which  the  means  of  the 
possessor  do  not  allow  to  be  thrown  aside.  For  these  al- 
terations of  dress  much  valuable  time  must  be  wasted,  or 
much  money  squandered,  and,  in  either  case,  the  very  at- 
tention which  is  requisite  for  so  unworthy  an  object,  takes, 
the  mind  from  more  important  and  rational  pursuits.  Some 
women  seem  to  think  that  life  is  of  no  use  but  to  make  or 
re-model  dresses,  and  act  as  if  they  were  born  to  be 
walking  blocks  for  show  ing  off  to  advantage  the  workman- 
ship of  the  riband  and  lace  manufacturer,  of  the  mantua- 
maker,  and  the  milliner. 

The  second  part  of  a  female's  wardrobe,  comprehending 
every  article  not  subject  to  the  laws  of  fashion,  deserves 
also  attention  and  care  ;  and  for  your  management  of  this 
branch  1  recommend  this  rule :  do  not  neglect  to  make 
each  year  a  small  addition  to  most  of  the  articles  of  which 
it  is  composed.  By  doing  this  you  will  scarcely  perceive 
the  effects  of  time  upon  your  general  stock,  because  the 
yearly  supply  will  bear  some  proportion  to  the  deficiencies 
which  that  may  cause.  But  if  you  neglect  this  rule,  the 
consequences  may  be  that  all  at  once  you  shall  find  your 
wardrobe  to  require  a  complete  renewal,  and  your  annual 
allowance  will  then  scarcely  suffice  to  provide  it.  Most  of 
the  things  to  which  I  allude  are  of  an  expensive  nature, 
and  sweep  away  no  inconsiderable  sum,,  when  whole  sets 
are  to  be  purchased  at  once.  All  good  economists  agree 
in  their  approbation  of  this  rule,  and  enforce  it,  more  par- 
ticularly, in  regard  to  household  and  table  linen. 

In  choosing  linen  or  cambric,  examine  the  threads  if 
they  are  even  and  close  ;  a  raw  linen,  with  uneven  threads, 
does  not  promise  to  wear  well.  Fine  linens  answer  better 
than  the  coarse  ones,  provided  they  are  not  unsuitable  for 
the  use  for  which  they  are  destined.  The  yard-wide 


160  CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN. 

linens  are  not  thought  so  strong  and  well-made  as  those  of 
the  narrower  width,  but  the  latter  will  not  always  cut  out 
to  the  same  advantage  as  the  wider  linens. 

I  recommend  you  to  resort  to  good  and  old-established 
shops,  rather  than  to  those  which  are  considered  cheaper : 
the  former  rest  their  prosperity  upon  the  approbation  of 
steady  customers,  and  will  not  knowingly  offer  them  goods 
which  are  bad  in  quality,  and  which  would  prove  unser- 
viceable, while  the  latter  are  eager  to  attract  vagrant  pur- 
chasers, alluring  them  by  tne  promise  of  bargains — a  de- 
lusive promise,  the  goods  thus  offered  for  sale  being  usually 
of  so  flimsy  a  texture  as  to  prove,  on  trial,  scarcely  worth 
the  trifling  sum  that  had  been  given  for  them. 

MRS.  L. — This  love  of  bargain-making  is  another  of 
the  many  failings  of  which  our  sex  is  accused.  I  cannot 
understand  why  it  is  that  a  feeling  of  exultation  springs 
up  within  us  the  moment  we  fancy  ourselves  possessors 
of  a  bargain.  It  seems  scarcely  an  honest  principle  which 
can  induce  us  to  be  pleased  at  a  supposed  advantage  we 
gain  over  the  manufacturer  or  tradesman. 

MRS.  B. — It  would  be  a  far  better  and  more  upright 
feeling  which  prompted  you,  on  entering  a  shop  with  a 
view  to  purchase,  to  desire  only  a  just  exchange  between 
the  dealer  and  yourself  of  commodity  and  specie.  You 
yourself  must  endeavour  to  decide  upon  the  real  value 
of  the  articles  laid  before  you,  and  to  satisfy  yourself  that 
you  are  not  called  upon  to  pay  more  for  them  than  what  is 
reasonable.  If  the  price  exceeds  your  expectation,  it  then 
becomes  more  just  to  bring  down  your  wishes  to  the  pur- 
chase of  articles  of  lower  value,  rather  than  to  attempt,  as 
many  do,  to  beat  down  to  your  own  terms  the  price  of 
those  of  higher  value.  This  I  cannot  but  consider  as  a 
wrong  principle  to  act  upon,  and  I  should  be  inclined  to 
withdraw  my  custom  from  any  tradesman  whom  I  found 
to  be  in  the  habit  of  asking  one  price  for  his  goods  and 
accepting  another.  He  is  unjust  to  himself,  if  he  permit 


CLOTHES  AXD  FAMILY-LINEN.  161 

you  to  purchase  from  him  at  too  low  a  rate,  and  unjust  to 
you,  if  he  require  from  you  more  than  the  goods  in  ques- 
tion are  worth.  In  all  steady,  reputable  shops,  you  will 
find  the  prices  nearly  the  same,  according  to  the  state  of 
the  markets.  Some  variation  there  may  be,  occasionally, 
among  them,  arising,  perhaps,  from  accidental  circum- 
stances, but,  generally  speaking,  you  will  find  this  asser- 
tion true. 

Those,  also,  who  are  fond  of  bargains,  lose  more  time 
in  hunting  after  them  than  the  difference  of  the  price  in 
the  articles  they  purchase  can  compensate,  were  even  the 
principle  upon  which  they  act  a  proper  one.  This  ranging 
from  shop  to  shop  has  also  given  origin  to  a  fashionable 
method  of  killing  time,  which  is  well  known  by  the  term 
shopping,  and  is  literally  a  mean  and  unwarrantable 
amusement,  at  the  expense  of  the  tradesmen  and  shop- 
keepers who  are  subjected  to  it,  and  an  insulting  trial  of 
the  tempers  of  these  poor  people.  I  have  seen  ladies  get 
down  half  the  goods  in  a  haberdasher's  shop  upon  his 
counter,  and,  after  talking  for  an  hour  or  two  on  their  qua- 
lities and  prices,  leave  the  shop  without  making  a  pur- 
chase. I  do  not  judge  too  harshly  in  saying  that  they 
entered  without  any  intention  of  purchasing,  and  merely 
for  amusement. 

With  regard  to  family-linen,  bargains  are  particularly 
to  be  avoided  by  the  economi-t,  as  table  and  other  house- 
hold linen  should  be  purchased  on  the  presumption  that 
they  have  strength  and  durability  for  the  wear  of  many 
years,  and  this  no  bargain,  which  I  have  ever  seen,  could 
fairly  promise.  It  is  not  convenient  to  every  one  to  pur- 
chase these  expensive  articles  of  very  fine  materials,  but, 
when  it  can  be  done,  I  am  persuaded  it  answers  well,  as 
to  durability ;  and  in  washing,  the  colour  is  more  easily 
preserved  in  fine  than  in  coarse  linens. 

MRS.  L.— What  a  serious  expense  is  washing  in  a  family ! 
14* 


162  CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN. 

I  am  desirous  of  ascertaining  the  least  expensive  way  of 
having  it  well  done. 

MRS.  B. — I  am  glad  to  hear  you  lay  an  emphasis  on  the 
words  well  done.  Bad  washing  can  never  be  at  a  cheap 
rate ;  however  little  you  may  fancy  you  pay  for  it,  it  is 
still  too  dear.  It  will  ruin  your  clothes  and  linen,  which 
will  not  serve  half  the  time  they  might  have  done,  with  a 
good  clean  washing,  and  a  proper  getting  up. 

MRS.  L. — Is  it  better  to  have  the  washing  done  at  home, 
or  to  send  it  out  to  a  laundress  ? 

MRS.  B. — Our  grandmothers  would  be  surprised  at  that 
question,  and  particularly  with  modern  management  in 
respect  to  washing,  could  they  see  it.  In  their  day  a 
family-wash  was  a  matter  of  deep  interest.  The  clouds 
and  the  weather-glass  were  examined,  and  all  the  usual 
domestic  arrangements  were  made  subservient  to  the  happy 
accomplishment  of  this  grand  event.  A  wash  was  a  season 
of  toil  and  anxiety  both  to  mistress  and  maiden,  and,  I 
believe,  of  dismay  and  discomfiture  to  every  other  member 
of  the  family.  Its  advantages,  however,  were  great,  though 
not  in  proportion  to  the  inconvenencies  endured.  The 
whiteness  of  the  linen,  and  the  superior  clear-starching 
and  ironing  of  those  days,  are  not,  by  any  means,  equalled 
in  modern  washing ;  nor  can  our  economists  boast  of  any 
mode  by  which  it  can  be  done  at  so  comparatively  trifling 
an  expense.  But  the  presence  and  scrutiny  of  the  mistress 
or  housekeeper  were  essential  to  the  good  progress  of  the 
work,  as  well  as  to  prevent  any  waste  of  provisions.  That 
presence  and  scrutiny  were  in  fact  the  soul,  without  which 
the  whole  body  would  have  done  almost  nothing.  No 
hands  would  have  been  diligent  and  no  tongue  silent ;  and 
gossiping,  I  need  scarcely  say,  is  not  a  trifling  enemy  to 
despatch  and  industry. 

The  present  habits,  both  of  the  heads  of  families  and 
their  servants,  render  the  old-fashioned  monthly  wash  out  of 
the  question,  in  these  days ;  and  if  that  were  not  the  case, 


CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN.  163 

I  doubt  whether,  taking  every  thing  into  consideration,  it 
would  be  desirable  to  revive  the  custom.  To  keep  a 
laundry-maid,  and  to  send  the  linen  out  weekly  to  a  laun- 
dress, are  the  two  modes  of  management,  now,  generally 
adopted.  The  expediency  of  the  first  plan  depends  upon 
the  size  of  a  family,  and  the  conveniences  which  the  house 
may  afford  for  this  arrangement.  When  a  family  is  large 
enough  to  employ  the  whole  time  of  a  laundry-maid,  in 
washing,  getting  up,  and  in  assisting  to  repair  the  linens,  I 
am  inclined  to  think  it  a  desirable  plan  to  be  adopted.  It 
almost  ensures  good  washing?  and  the  proper  airing  of  the 
linen.  The  inconveniences  are,  the  danger  of  extrava- 
gance in  soap,  candles,  and  coals,  which  would  render  it 
very  expensive.  The  laundry,  also,  is  often  a  place  of 
resort  and  gossip  for  the  other  servants  of  the  family,  which 
is  an  evil  difficult  to  prevent,  unless  a  very  strict  observa- 
tion is  kept  up  on  the  part  of  the  mistress.  It  is  perhaps 
the  most  convenient  and  least  troublesome  plan  to  send  the 
linen  to  a  laundress,  though,  if  your  family  be  large,  the 
expense  is  immense  ;  each  article  being  separately  charged 
makes  the  whole  amount  to  a  considerable  sum  weekly. 
The  expense  may,  in  some  degree,  be  diminished,  by 
stipulating  that  the  smaller  articles,  such  as  pocket-hand- 
kerchiefs, neckcloths,  and  frills,  be  charged  by  the  dozen, 
instead  of  each  article  being  separately  charged.  Some 
good  managers  get  their  washing  done  by  contract,  and 
this,  when  you  can  ensure  its  being  well  done,  is  a  plea- 
sant plan,  because  you  ascertain  the  exact  sum  your  wash- 
ing will  cost  you  during  the  year.  But  it  often  happens 
that  the  laundress  does  not  discharge,  very  conscientiously, 
ner  part  of  the  contract,  but  sends  home  the  linen  misera- 
bly got  up,  and  badly  aired.  When  this  happens,  you 
carjnot  consider  such  washing  as  cheaply  performed. 

MRS.  L. — Are  there  any  rules  for  the  preservation  of 
linen  and  clothes  ? 

MRS.  B. — Not  many  with  which  you  can  be  unac- 


164  CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN. 

quainted ;  but  I  have  no  doubt  you  have  often  observed  how 
much  more  carefully  some  people  preserve  their  clothes  than 
others  of  your  acquaintance,  whose  dress  soon  loses  its  new 
appearance,  and,  after  a  few  weeks'  wear,  looks  as  if  it 
had  undergone  the  brunt  of  as  many  months.  This  differ- 
ence must  arise,  1  imagine,  from  the  want  of  due  attention 
in  cleaning,  folding,  and  properly  laying  by  those  articles 
that  have  been  changed. 

Silk  gowns  and  pelisses,  when  taken  off,  should  have 
the  dust  gently  shaken  out  of  them,  and  afterwards  they 
should  be  rubbed  with  a  clean  handkerchief,  or  linen  cloth : 
then  carefully  folded,  and  laid  by  in  drawers  or  wardrobes, 
and  covered  over  with  paper.  Bonnets  and  straw  hats  should 
also  be  wiped  clean  from  the  dust  before  they  are  put  away. 

MRS.  L. — What  is  the  best  method  of  removing  spots 
and  stains  from  silks  and  woollen  cloth  ? 

MRS.  B. — If  gentle  rubbing  with  cap-paper  will  not 
remove  them  from  silk,  a  little  French  chalk,  scraped  and 
rubbed  into  them,  will,  with  the  aid  of  friction,  generally 
remove  them  ;  but  this  is  apt  to  leave  a  dull  appearance 
on  the  silk.  Spirits  of  turpentine  would  remove  grease 
spots  better  than  the  French  chalk,  if  its  strong  smell  were 
not  an  objection.  Hartshorn  will  remove  spots  of  grease 
upon  woollen  cloth,  if  rubbed  well  into  it.  Fuller's  earth, 
also,  wetted  and  laid  on,  and  not  rubbed  off  till  it  has 
remained  a  few  hours  on  the  grease  spots,  will  be  found 
to  effectually  remove  them  from  woollen.  Sometimes  the 
droppings  of  wax-lights  are  very  troublesome  to  remove 
from  coats  and  velvets.*^  Spirits  of  wine  will  dissolve  the 
wax ;  but  as,  in  some  cases,  it  may  affect  the  colour,  I 
recommend  you  to  try  a  very  simple  mode,  which  is,  to 
toast  the  crumb  of  a  small  piece  of  bread,  and  while  hot 
apply  it  to  the  droppings  of  wax,  a  portion  of  which  it 
will  dissolve  and  imbibe,  and  by  repeating  this  simple 
process  several  successive  times,  the  whole  wax  will  be 
gradually  removed. 


CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN.  166 

MRS.  L. — I  remember  hearing  an  argument  between 
two  clever  managers  on  the  subject  of  repairing  clothes. 
One  lady  maintained  that  to  be  always  mending  was  by 
no  means  good  economy :  it  was  a  waste  of  time,  and  even 
an  expense  not  compensated  by  the  additional  wear  to  be 
gained ;  and  that  after  all,  who  could  admire  one  of  these 
well-mended  garments,  or  exult  in  having  by  such  appa- 
rent thrift  lost  sight  of  the  original  fabric,  in  visible  repairs 
and  patchings  ?  Her  opponent  (the  widow  of  a  clergy- 
man, who  had  brought  up  a  large  family  respectably,  but 
without  abundant  means,)  had  her  own  experience  to  vouch 
for  the  economy  of  repairing,  although  she  readily  con- 
curred with  the  other  in  thinking  the  appearance  no  re- 
commendation.  Which  side  of  the  argument  will  you  take  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  must  agree  with  the  widow,  and  express 
my  suspicions  of  the  false  pretensions  to  economy  of  her 
opponent,  who  had  not,  perhaps,  industry  enough  to  be  a 
true  economist,  and  had  omitted,  we  will  suppose,  to 
regularly  examine  the  state  of  her  wardrobe,  and  of  the 
family-linen,  until  the  articles  were  too  far  gone  to  be  re- 
paired to  advantage.  Unless  this  be  done  at  regular  in- 
tervals, either  by  yourself,  or  by  one  of  the  family  to  whom 
the  charge  of  this  department  is  assigned,  it  is  more  than 
possible  that  your  linen  may  arrive  at  such  a  state  of  ruin 
as  to  render  repairing  quite  inexpedient.  It  must  be  done 
in  time  or  it  cannot  be  done  with  advantage. 

In  sheets,  and  table-linen,  appropriated  for  company, 
it  will  not,  of  course,  do  to  have  visible  repairs ;  but,  if 
any  appearance  of  the  threads  breaking  be  observed,  and 
the  part  neatly  darned,  even  these  may  be  preserved  to  a 
much  longer  period  than  what  your  friend  could  expect, 
in  pursuing  her  system. 

MRS.  L. — How  shall  I  keep  in  tolerable  order  those 
parts  of  my  wardrobe  that  belong  to  full  dress?  Full 
trimmed  dresses,  white  satin,  and  silks,  in  general,  very 
soon  lose  their  fresh  appearance. 


160  CLOTHES  AND  FAMILYrLINEN. 

»  MRS.  B.— Any  mode,  by  which  you  can  keep  air,  and 
consequently  dirt,  away  from  them,  will  answer  for  a 
short  time  ;  but  all  such  things  are  of  so  perishable  a  na- 
ture, both  in  themselves,  as  well  as  from  the  evanescence 
of  fashion,  that  the  securest  way  is  to  have  as  few  to  pre- 
serve as  possible.  White  satin — and  gauzes  also,  which 
change  their  colour  almost  as  quickly,  should  be  carefully 
wrapped  up  in  light  envelopes  -of  paper.  I  have  seen 
small  closets  nicely  fitted  up,  in  which  to  hang  up  dresses, 
and  other  parts  of  dress  which  would  suffer  if  they  were 
folded  and  laid  within  the  narrow  compass  of  a  drawer 
or  a  wardrobe.  These  closets"have  wooden  pegs  arranged 
round  them,  and  have  muslin-curtains  drawn  close  round 
the  whole,  so  as  to  render  them  impenetrable  to  sun  or 
dust. 

The  difficulty  of  preserving  all  such  things  is  a  sufficient 
reason  for  not  having,  at  once,  more  than  what  is  absolutely 
needful ;  and  I  would  not  recommend  you  to  seek  to  en- 
large your  stock  of  household-linen  to  any  great  extent, 
although  it  is  very  desirable  to  have  an  abundance.  But 
it  does  it  no  good  to  lie  by  unused,  and  if  brought  into 
use,  there  is  always  some  risk  of  losing  a  part  of  it  by  the 
dishonest  or  careless  practices  of  those  who  have  it  in 
charge. 

Furs  and  woollens  should  not  be  laid  by  for  the  sum- 
mer-months, without  having  the  dust  well  shaken  out  of 
them,  and  care,  taken  that  they  are  quite  free  from  damp ; 
for  dust  and  moisture  are  the  great  foes  to  be  guarded 
against  in  the  first  instance,  as  tending  to  encourage  the 
increase  of  moths  and  other  insects.  Many  things  are 
used  as  preventives  against  the  inroads  of  moths  ;  such  as 
sprinkling  furs  and  woollens  with  spirits  of  turpentine  ; 
putting  camphor,  pepper-corns,  cedar-shavings,  and  Rus- 
sian le-ither  among  them  ;*  but  I  believe  the  best  plan, 

*  Tobacco,  which  is  plenty  and  cheap  in  this  country,  is  preferable  to  most 
ef  the  articles  above  mentioned.  Tobacco  stems,  leaf  tobacco,  or  snuff: 


CLOTHES  AND  FAMILY-LINEN.  167 

after  all,  is  to  sew  the  furs  up  in  linen,  well  aired,  through 
which  the  moth  cannot  penetrate  ;  and  once  or  twice,  in 
the  course  of  the  summer,  to  have  them  taken  out  on  fine 
sunny  days,  and  after  being  well  shaken,  replaced  in  their 
envelopes,  and  put  aside. 

The  mildew  upon  linens  proceeds  from  their  being  put 
away  damp  from  the  wash,  and  it  is  a  very  difficult  ble- 
mish to  remove.  When  it  has  unfortunately  occurred,  you 
will  find  that  soap  rubbed  on,  and  afterwards  fine  chalk 
scraped  upon  the  spots,  with  a  day's  exposure  to  the  sun, 
will  remove  it,  if  not  at  once,  at  least  upon  a  repetition. 

Fruit  and  red  wine  stains  may  be  removed  by  a  prepa- 
ration of  equal  parts  of  slaked  lime,  potass,  and  soft  soap, 
and  by  exposure  to  the  sun  while  this  preparation  is  upon 
the  stain.  Salt  of  lemon  (oxalate  of  potass]  will  remove 
ink  and  iron  mould. 

When  linen  or  muslins  are  scorched,  in  the  getting  up, 
without  being  actually  burnt,  a  brown  mark  is  left  upon 
the  spot,  which  may  be  removed  by  laying  some  of  the 
following  composition  on  it,  before  the  article  is  again 
washed :— Slice  six  large  onions,  and  express  the  juice, 
which  must  be  added  to  a  quart  of  vinegar,  with  one 
ounce  of  rasped  soap,  a  quarter  of  a  pound  of  fuller's 
earth,  one  ounce  of  lime,  and  one  ounce  of  pearl-ashes. 
Boil  the  whole,  until  the  mixture  become  thick  ;  and  apply 
it  to  the  scorched  spot  while  it  is  hot. 

sprinkled  between  the  folds  of  woollen  clothes,  will  answer  the  purpose  of 
keeping  out  moths  during  the  summer,  when  woollens  are  laid  aside. 

Amer.  Ed: 


168 


CONVERSATION  IV. 

FURNITURE. 

MRS  L. — I  have  amused  myself  with  observing  the 
variety  of  tastes,  displayed  in  the  furniture  of  the  different 
houses  I  have  lately  frequented.  Many  have  been  fur- 
nished in  very  good  style,  but  in  some  I  have  noticed  great 
errors  and  inconsistencies.  For  instance,  what  can  betray 
inconsistency  more,  than  to  furnish  rooms,  not,  perhaps, 
twelve  feet  square,  in  a  style  of  splendour  suited  to  spa- 
cious apartments  ?  One's  sight  is  absolutely  overpowered 
by  the  effect  of  contrasting  colours  within  so  small  a  space. 

MRS.  B. — The  taste  is  not  good  which  neglects  to  study 
consistency,  whether  in  regard  to  furniture  or  to  any  other 
thing ;  nor  can  I  think  that  that  taste  is  to  be  admired, 
which  expends  itself  in  the  furnishing  of  a  few  rooms, 
destined  for  the  reception  of  company,  and  leaves  the  more 
important  parts  of  the  house,  in  which  the  comfort  of  the 
family  is  concerned,  carelessly  and  insufficiently  furnished. 
Comfort  ought  never  to  be  sacrificed  to  appearance,  un- 
substantial and  fruitlessllWt  is ! 

MRS.  L. — In  furnishing  a  house,  what  are  the  points  to 
which  you  should  first  attend  ? 

MRS.  B. — From  what  1  have  just  said,  you  may  suppose 
that  I  should  recommend  eveiy  article  to  be  first  provided, 
upon  which  comfort  depends,  for  it  carries  its  influence 
through  every  day  and  moment  of  our  lives,  and  leaves  to 
embellishments  and  refinements  the  power  of  giving  only 
a  temporary  and  casual  gratification.  These  embellish- 
ments, however,  may  always  be  added  in  such  degree  as 
prudence  will  permit.  But  while  the  affluent  may  indulge 
their  taste  in  adding  ornament  upon  ornament,  in  their 


KITCHEN  FURNITURE.  169 

houses,  and  in  refitting  them  according  to  the  varying 
fashion,  those  of  narrow  circumstances  must  restrain  their 
fancies,  and  content  themselves,  if  they  can  obtain  such  a 
portion  of  furniture  as  comfort  alone  requires.  With  them 
simplicity  is  good  taste  ;  and  when  we  consider  the  advan- 
tages which  attend  it,  how  surprising  is  it  to  find  it  fre- 
quently sacrificed  to  an  attempt,  and  often  a  poor  attempt, 
to  vie  in  splendour  with  the  affluent.  With  what  compa- 
rative ease  may  a  house  be  kept  in  cleanliness,  which  is 
only  simply  and  usefully  furnished.  How  much  less  liable 
is  such  furniture  to  be  injured  by  accident  or  carelessness  ; 
and  when  injured,  or  when,  in  the  course  of  time,  it  re- 
quires to  be  renewed,  how  much  more  readily  that  can  be 
effected  than  if  the  furniture  were  of  a  more  costly  nature  ? 

These  considerations  lead  me  to  speak  to  you,  in  the 
first  place,  of  furniture  which  is  strictly  useful,  and  which? 
therefore,  is  but  little  affected  by  fashion. 

Every  article  of  this  kind  should  be  of  a  good  quality ; 
strength  and  durability  being  generally  the  chief  points  to 
be  regarded. 

Let  us  first  enter  the  kitchen,  and  examine  into  some  ot 
the  conveniences  which  every  family,  whatever  its  size 
may  be,  ought  to  have.  Modern  cooks  have  great  advan- 
tages over  their  predecessors,  which  we  can  perceive  even 
in  the  first  step  which  we  takr.  iiyur  examination.  The 
kitchen-range  now  in  common  use  comprehends  a  variety 
of  conveniences,  which  both  expedite  the  business  of  the 
kitchen,  and  save  the  labour  of  the  cook  A  good  kitchen- 
range  has  the  oven  on  one  side  of  the  fire,  and  the  boiler 
of  hot  water  on  the  other,  or  behind  it,  so  as  to  be  entirely 
out  of  sight.  This  should  be  fed  with  water  from  a  cistern 
with  a  ball-cock,  in  order  that  it  may  be  ready  for  use  at 
a  minute's  warning.  Formerly  a  cook  had  the  separate 
fires  of  her  oven  and  boiler  to  attend  to ;  but,  now,  one 
fire  is  sufficient  to  keep  the  whole  range  in  use.  These 
grates  are  calculated  for  moderate-sized  families,  and  are 
15 


170  KITCHEN  FURNITURE 

to  be  had  of  different  dimensions,  according  to  the  cookingr 
any  family  may  require. 

For  very  large  families  the  steam-kitchen  is  extremely 
convenient;  it  saves  fuel, keeps  the  kitchen  cool,  and  even 
banishes  from  it  the  appearance  and  smell  of  cooking, 
while  the  cook  is  enabled  to  prepare  for  the  table  a  greatei 
number  of  dishes  than  could  be  done  with  a  single  fire, 
without  some  contrivance  of  this  kind.  I  have  also  seen 
a  cooking  apparatus  which  combines  even  more  advan- 
tages than  the  steam-kitchen.  In  the  centre  of  this  appa- 
ratus is  the  stove,  upon  which  is  a  cast-iron  plate,  or  table. 
This  plate  supports  another,  in  which  there  are  seven  or 
eight  circular  holes,  with  cast-iron  covers  to  them.  These 
holes  are  of  different  sizes,  and  into  which  there  are  sauce- 
pans to  fit.  When  the  contents  of  any  saucepan  are  re- 
quired to  boil,  the  cover  is  taken  from  the  hole,  and  the 
saucepan  is  put  into  it,  and  thus  receives  the  whole  heat 
of  the  cast-iron  plate  below.  If,  on  the  contrary,  only 
stewing  or  gentle  simmering  be  needful,  the  cover  is  not 
removed  from  the  hole,  but  the  saucepan  is  placed  upon 
it,  and  thereby  receives  only  a  moderate  degree  of  heat. 
On  one  side  of  this  hot  plate  is  the  boiler,  heated  by  a 
flue  from  the  fire  ;  the  same  flue  is  carried  on  to  the  roaster, 
which  resembles  an  oven,  except  in  having  valves  to  admit 
currents  of  air,  by  which  contrivance  the  meat  is  made  as? 
brown  as  if  it  were  roasted  before  a  blazing  fire ;  these 
currents  of  air  also  prevent  the  meat,  thus  cooked,  from 
having  the  taste  of  the  oven.  When  the  valves  are  closed, 
the  roaster  may  be  used  as  an  oven. 

Above  the  roaster  is  a  closet  heated  by  the  same  flue  ; 
and  in  this  baking  may  proceed  when  the  roaster  is  other- 
wise employed.  This  is  the  description  of  one  side  oi' 
the  fire  ;  on  the  other  there  is  a  steam  apparatus,  supplied 
with  steam  from  the  boiler.  This  is  admirably  calculated 
for  making  soups,  boiling  meat,  hams,  and  poultry.  Po- 
tatoes may  also  be  boiled  well  by  steam ;  but  green  vege- 


KITCHEN  FURNITURE.  171 

tables  are  better  boiled  in  water,  the  colour  being  injured 
by  the  steam:  and  this  is  the  reason  why  vegetables 
always  look  better  when  boiled  in  pump  water.  After 
serving  this  apparatus,  the  steam  is  carried  on  to  heat 
another  cast-iron  plate,  or  table,  upon  which  the  cook  is 
to  dish  her  dinner,  and  which  enables  her  to  send  it  up 
vrith  little  or  no  diminution  of  heat.  A  dinner  is  spoiled, 
if  it  be  sent  up  chilled,  which  evil  this  hot  table  cannot 
but  avert :  and  therefore  it  must  excite  the  admiration,  and 
even  gratitude,  of  all  the  lovers  of  the  table.  Beneath 
this  plate  is  another  hot  closet,  furnished  with  shelves, 
where  such  dishes  may  be  kept  hot  as  are  not  to  be  sent, 
immediately,  to  table.* 

MRS.  L. — From  your  description  this  apparatus  is  very 
complete.  Do  you  know  the  expense  of  it  ? 

MRS.  B.— One  on  the  largest  scale  would,  I  believe,  be 
about  fifty  pounds  ;  a  smaller,  perhaps,  would  amount  to 
twenty  pounds.  The  common  kitchen  range,  which  com- 
prehends only  the  oven  and  boiler,  costs  from  twelve  to 
fifteen  guineas. 

MRS.  L. — Can  you  give  me  any  idea  of  the  number  of 
implements  the  kitchen  department  requires? 

MRS.  B. — The}7  consist,  chiefly,  in  various  descriptions 
of  saucepans,  kettles,  stewing,  preserving,  and  frying  pans. 
Besides  these,  there  are  gridirons,  spits,  ladles  for  basting, 
egg-slices,  dredgers,  coffee  and  pepper  mills,  Dutch  ovens  ; 
tins  for  baking  bread,  cakes,  and  some  descriptions  of 
pastry ;  and  a  variety  of  other  utensils,  both  of  wood  and 
earthenware,  which  it  would  be  tedious  to  mention.  Your 
cook,  if  she  be  orderly  and  neat,  will  soon  inform  you  of 
any  deficiency  in  such  things  as  are  essential ;  and  I  would 
recommend  you  to  attend  to  L~r  wishes  on  these  points,  if 
they  appear  to  you  to  bespeak  in  her  a  desire  to  have  all 

*  A  moael  of  thia  kitchen-range  may  be  seen  at  Mr.  Jeakcs's,  ironmonger, 
Great  Russel  Street. 


172  DINING-ROOM  FURNITURE. 

around  her  in  good  order.  Your  kitchen  probably  con- 
tains a  sufficiency  of  tables,  dressers,  and  closets.  Endea- 
vour to  render  your  larder  as  light  and  airy  as  possible? 
that  no  smell  may  remain  in  it,  or  want  of  cleanliness  be 
unnoticed. 

Let  me,  now  1  think  of  it,  advise  you  to  have  all  yoiu 
saucepans  and  kettles  made  either  of  iron  or  tin.  Copper 
utensils  are  not  at  all  safe  things  in  the  hands  of  careless 
servants,  who  often  suffer  soups  and  stews  to  remain  in  the 
vessels  in  which  they  have  been  boiling  until  they  are 
cold ;  and  if  a  copper  saucepan  be  not  well  tinned,  this 
untidy  habit  is  likewise  one  of  great  danger.  Scarcely  any 
thing  can  be  cooked  which  has  not  in  a  greater  or  less 
degree,  the  power  of  corroding  copper,  at  that  part  which 
is  in  contact  with  the  air ;  and  whatever  is  suffered  to  re- 
main in  a  copper  vessel  thus  corroded,  soon  imbibes  the 
poison,  and  can  scarcely  then  be  eaten  without  very  in- 
jurious, and  often  fatal  effects.  I  believe  there  is  no  poison 
more  powerful  than  verdigris,  or  the  rust  of  copper ;  and 
so  rapid  is  its  progress  through  the  system,  that  there 
seems  barely  time  to  avert  its  consequences  by  adminis- 
tering antidotes.  There  have  been  many  melancholy  in- 
stances of  this,  one  of  which  is  well  known,  and  occurred 
some  years  ago  at  Salt-Hill,  where,  at  a  public  dinner,  many 
persons  were  taken  ill  and  died.  Upon  investigation,  it 
was  discovered  that  they  had  all  eaten  of  one  particular 
dish,  and  that  that  dish  had  been  prepared  the  day  before, 
and  had  been  left  in  the  stewpan,  ready  to  be  made  hot  for 
the  next  day's  dinner.* 

MRS.  L. — Shall  we  now  ascend  to  the  dining-room  ? — 
and  will  you  give  me  your  opinion  of  the  style  of  furniture 
most  suitable  for  such  apartments  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  is  evident  that  every  room  should  be  fur- 

•  It  is  of  importance  to  know  that  the  best  antidote  for  the  poison  of  ver- 
digris, and  the  other  salts  of  copper,  is  sugar.  It  should  be  given  u  freely 
as  the  atouiach  can  take  it. 


DINING-ROOM  FURNITURE.  173 

nished  in  a  style  not  inconsistent  with  the  use  for  which  it 
is  set  apart.  The  dining-room,  the  place  of  rendezvous  for 
the  important  concerns  of  the  table,  should  not  be  furnished 
in  the  light  and  airy  style  which  you  may  adopt  in  your 
drawing-room,  in  which  amusement  and  ease  are  the  objects 
desired ;  and  where  every  thing  is  put  into  requisition  which 
can  excite  lively  and  interesting  conversation,  or  aid  the 
loiterer  to  kill  his  grand  enemy — time.  But  not  so  in  the 
dining-room,  where  savoury  vapours  give  warning  of  the 
danger  of  delay ;  there,  no  other  attraction  is  desirable,  nor 
scarcely  any  thing  requisite,  beyond  the  well-arranged 
table,  and  the  chairs  that  surround  it. 

The  furniture  most  usual  in  the  dining-room  is  of  a  sub- 
stantial kind ;  for  instance,  mahogany  chairs,  tables,  and 
side-boards ;  curtains,  frequently  of  moreen,  and  some- 
times of  crimson  and  scarlet  cloth,  but  never,  I  think,  of 
a  lighter  kind,  such  as  chintz.  A  solid  simplicity  generally 
characterizes  the  style  of  the  dining-room,  rendering  it 
less  subject  to  the  variation  of  fashion  than  in  some  of  the 
other  parts  of  a  house,  although  you  will  find  that  refine- 
ment and  luxury  are  always  at  work,  introducing,  even 
here,  new  wants,  and  encouraging  every  variety  of  whim 
and  fancy. 

The  simplicity  essential  in  the  furniture  of  the  dining 
room  does  not,  however,  preclude  a  display  of  good  taste. 
This  may  be  rendered  conspicuous  in  the  colours  of  the 
carpet  and  the  curtains  harmonising  with  the  material  oi" 
which  the  tables  and  chairs  are  made,  whether  that  be 
oak,  mahogany,  or  any  other  wood ;  and  still  more  so  in 
the  form  of  these  articles.  Where  economy  is  not  import- 
ant, an  elegant  taste  may  gratify  itself  in  the  display  of 
exquisite  workmanship,  particularly  carving,  as  far  as 
respects  the  more  solid  furniture  of  a  dining-room ;  and 
no  ornaments  are  so  much  in  place  in  a  dining-room  as 
pictures,  busts,  and  similar  specimens  of  art.  Where  pic- 
tures are  exhibited,  a  person  of  good  taste  will  rather 
15* 


174  DHAWING-ROOM 

prefer  to  possess  a  few  of  high  merit,  than  to  have  the 
walls  covered  with  inferior  performances :  and  as  no 
strong  reflected  lights  should  be  permitted  to  fall  upon  a 
picture,  the  walls,  the  carpet,  and  the  curtains,  should  be 
of  a  hue  which  is  more  likely  to  absorb  than  to  reflect 
light.  Perhaps  the  best  colours  for  a  room  containing 
pictures  are  deep  olive  green,  or  a  dull  crimson. 

The  size  of  the  side-board  is  seldom  well  proportioned 
to  that  of  the  room  ;  and,  in  general,  little  taste  is  displayed 
in  its  form  ;  yet  no  piece  of  furniture  is  more  capable  of 
evincing  it,  than  the  side-board,  which  ought  to  be  massive, 
without  being  clumsy ;  and,  if  carved,  may  be  ornamented 
with  appropriate  devices.  Gilding,  except  on  picture- 
frames,  is  out  of  place  in  a  dining-room. 

MRS.  L. — The  style  of  drawing-room  furniture  is  almost 
as  changeable  in  fashion  as  female  dress ;  sometimes  it  is 
Grecian,  then  Egyptian,  and  now  Turkish.  But  in  all  its 
variations  it  shows,  in  my  opinion,  an  improved  taste  in 
our  times.  How  the  stiff,  high-backed,  undeviating  chairs, 
and  the  clumsy,  unwieldy  tables  of  our  grandfathers  would 
now  distress  our  eyes,  accustomed  as  they  are  to  the  easy 
elegant  curve  of  the  Grecian  chair  and  couch,  in  which 
strength  and  lightness  are  so  happily  united. 

MRS.  B. — No  one  can  deny  the  improvement  that  has 
taken  place  within  the  last  half  century,  both  in  the  taste 
which  dictates  the  forms  of  our  furniture,  and  in  the  skill 
which  realizes  them.  But  I  cannot  agree  with  you,  if 
your  admiration  of  the  present  fashion  of  furniture  be 
unqualified.  It  is  become  of  late  too  costly  to  please  me. 
Those  drawing-rooms  which  are  fitted  up  according  to 
the  present  style  seem  almost  to  arrive  at  Indian  splendour, 
having  papers  with  gold  patterns,  ottomans,  chintz  curtains, 
and  Persian  carpets,  altogether  fatiguing  the  sight  by  a 
multiplicity  of  ornaments,  and  a  crowd  of  colours  incon- 
gruously selected.  These,  too,  as  you  have  noticed,  are 
frequently  to  be  found  in  small  rooms,  with  which  they 


DRAWING-ROOM  FUKMTURE  175 

fire  inconsistent,  and  therefore  ridiculous.  Large  rooms 
will  admit  of  more  license  to  fancy  than  can  be  given, 
consistently  with  taste,  when  rooms  of  smaller  dimensions 
are  to  be  furnished.  It  is  not  well  to  make  these  too 
striking,  or  to  crowd  them  with  a  variety  of  furniture,  as 
it  is  the  fashion  to  do.  In  fact,  it  is  difficult,  in  a  fashion- 
able drawing-room,  to  steer  clear  of  the  various  pieces  of 
furniture  and  ornamental  trifles  with  which  it  is  crowded. 
If  you  turn  to  the  left,  you  encounter  an  obstacle  in  a  table 
covered  with  china,  and  if  to  the  right,  behind  or  before 
you,  you  must  beware  of  or  molu  time-pieces,  Indian 
cabinets,  and  casts  of  dying  gladiators.  Such  things  have 
their  use,  not  unfrequentiy  assisting  to  wile  away  the  list- 
less hour  which  intervenes  between  the  time  of  the  ladies 
and  gentlemen  retiring  from  the  dining-room,  and  they 
may  often  spare  the  hostess  some  fruitless  exertion ;  but, 
I  think,  when  they  are  too  numerous,  they  give  a  fluttered, 
untidy  appearance  to  the  room,  and  make  one  sometimes 
desire  a  vacant  spot  on  which  to  rest  the  eye. 

MRS.  L. — Which  are  now  most  fashionable,  painted  or 
papered  walls  ? 

,  MRS.  B. — Painted  walls,  chiefly  of  pale  colours,  are  at 
this  time  most  general ;  but,  in  a  drawing-room,  I  prefer 
paper.  The  rich,  gold-flowered,  and  deep  crimson,  em- 
bossed papers  are  much  in  vogue  for  large  rooms,  in  which 
warm  colours,  and  large  patterns,  may  be  assembled 
together  without  inconsistency,  and  without  offending  the 
eye  to  that  degree  which  a  similar  selection  of  colours 
ivould  occasion  in  small  apartments,  where  simplicity, 
lightness,  and  cheerfulness  should  prevail. 

Both  in  large  and  small  rooms  I  should  avoid  sudden 
contrasts  of  colour,  rather  endeavouring  to  blend  them  by 
he  introduction  of  intermediate  tints. 

MRS.  L. — Perhaps  some  of  the  rules  which  regulate  the 
jse  of  our  colours  in  drawings  might  not  be  ill  employed 


5 

ro 


176  DRAWING-ROOM  FURNITURE. 

in  the  selection  of  colours  for  any  other  purpose,  either  of 
dress  or  of  furniture  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  do  not  think  your  suggestion  quite  useless, 
although  I  suspect  that  fancy,  not  rules,  will  generally 
svray  our  choice  of  these  things.  But  let  us  inquire  what 
these  rules  are  ;  and  we  shall  then  perceive  if  any  use  can 
be  made  of  them. 

Yellow,  red,  and  blue  are  contrasts  in  all  their  shades, 
and  the  harmonizing  tints  are  discovered  by  the  union  of 
two  of  them.  These  colours  have  different  qualities : 
blue  is  of  a  cold  and  unassuming  nature,  yellow  illuminates, 
and  red  warms.  Yellow  and  blue  form  green,  yellow  and 
red  form  orange,  and  blue  and  red  produce  violet.  And. 
though  yellow,  blue  and  red,  as  I  have  just  observed,  are 
contrasting  colours,  yet,  still  greater  contrasts  to  each  may 
be  procured  by  the  union  of  two  of  them ,  for  instance, 
blue  and  red  form  violet,  and  violet  is  the  greatest  contrast 
to  yellow.  The  other  intermediate  colours,  also,  of  green 
and  orange,  form  the  greatest  contrasts  to  red  and  blue. 

MRS.  L. — It  appears  to  me,  that  by  taking  advantage 
of  these  rules,  which  we  owe  to  nature,  we  might  avoid 
some  of  the  errors  of  taste,  so  often  discoverable  in  the 
selection  of  colours.  The  colour  which  it  is  intended 
should  predominate  in  the  drawing-room,  would,  I  suppose, 
please  the  eye  best  by  having  its  contrast  blended  with  if. 
by  the  proper  intermediate  colours.  I  recollect  your  ob- 
jryations  respecting  the  colours  best  suited  for  drawing- 
room  bouquets.  The  same  rules  might  be  applied  to  the 
selection  of  carpets  and  papers.  What  are  considered  to 
be  the  most  fashionable  kind  of  carpets  ? 

MRS.  B. — Of  late  Persian  carpets  have  been  much  mort 
in  fashion  than  those  of  other  patterns.  They  are  of  an 
expensive  kind,  as  well  as  the  Brussels,  but  much  more 
durable  than  the  Venetian  and  Scotch  carpets,  of  which 
the  texture  is  very  slight.  Durability  is  an  essential  point 
to  which  you  should  direct  your  attention,  in  the  choice 


FURNITURE.  177 

both  of  the  colours  and  of  the  texture  of  carpets,  because, 
from  their  expensive  nature,  it  is  seldom  convenient  to  renew 
them  frequently. 

MRS.  L.— It  has  lately  been  the  fashion  to  have  the 
handles  of  doors  constructed  either  of  ebony  or  of  ivory : 
— do  you  admire  this  fashion  ? 

MRS.  B.— -These  handles  are  pretty,  and  easily  kept 
clean.  It  is  the  fashion,  also,  to  paint  the  doors,  shutters, 
and  wainscots,  in  imitation  of  different  kinds  of  wood, 
cither  of  satin-wood,  or  of  elm,  or  oak,  with  which  the 
mixture  of  brass  or  any  other  metal  would  not  accord  so 
well  as  ivory  or  ebony. 

Rose-wood  chairs  and  tables  have,  for  some  time,  taken 
place  of  japanned  and  mahogany  furniture  ;  and  elm,  of 
which  the  veinings  are  extremely  varied  and  beautiful,  is 
still  more  in  vogue  than  rose-wood.  Satin-wood  is  going 
out  of  favour,  which  is  not,  I  think,  surprising,  as  it  is  a 
poor,  cold-looking  wood,  without  any  variety  of  veining, 
and  is  incapable  of  receiving  a  polish,  except  by  varnish. 
It  is  tolerably  pretty  for  boxes,  and  for  small  pieces  of  fur- 
niture, but  is  far  inferior  in  beauty  to  the  richly  veined 
rose-wood  or  the  elm.  But  of  all  these  woods,  mahogany 
Las  the  most  valuable  qualities.  It  has  durability  and 
strength  ;  is  so  hard  and  close  in  grain  that  no  insect  infects 
it,  as  is  the  case  with  other  kinds  of  wood ;  it  is  capable 
of  receiving,  by  mere  friction,  the  highest  polish  ;  and  it 
is  improved  by  age  rather  than  lessened  in  value  ;  in  fact, 
if  fashion  were  not  fantastic,  mahogany  furniture  might  be 
lianded  down  from  father  to  son,  almost  as  undiminished 
in  value  as  plate. 

You  have,  I  suppose,  furnished  your  rooms  with  otto- 
mans and  couches,  some  of  which  are  placed  round  the 
room,  and  some  in  the  centre,  where  the  size  of  the  room 
will  permit  of  them.  The  good,  old-fashioned  sofa  has 
been  long  banished  from  the  drawing-room;  and  if  it 
Iiave  a  place  any  where,  it  is,  like  an  humble  friend,  un- 


178  FURNITURE. 

heeded,  until  in  the  hour  of  need  its  virtues  are  discovered. 
Couches  and  ottomans  appear  luxurious,  and  charm  us  by 
the  promise  of  ease  ;  but,  in  reality,  they  are  comfortless 
compared  to  the  old  capacious  sofa,  upon  which  one  may 
extend  oneself  when  either  pain  or  weakness  demand  it.- 
1  think  elderly  people,  who  often  require  to  recline  in  the 
Course  of  the  day,  must  be  frequently  ready  to  quarrel 
with  the  uneasy  elegance  of  the  couch. 

MRS.  L. — What  a  variety  of  ornamental  trifles  are  be- 
come almost  essential  in  every  drawing-room !  I  have  not 
been  in  one  which  was  not  crowded  with  tables  and  slabs, 
upon  which  were  arranged  various  specimens  of  ingenuity 
and  taste.  In  one  drawing-room,  during  the  listless  hour 
after  dinner,  I  had  an  opportunity  for  making  a  tolerably 
accurate  survey,  but  I  can  scarcely  recollect  half  of  what 
f  saw.  I  remember  the  marble  chimney-piece  was  orna- 
mented with  a  French  time-piece,  over  which  hovered  a 
number  of  Cupids,  aiming  harmless  darts  at  Time's  im- 
penetrable breast,  whose  determined  aspect  would  not 
permit  any  beholder  to  fancy,  for  a  moment,  that  his  course 
would  be  stopped.  On  each  side  of  this  time-pie^e  wen- 
two  alabaster  urns,  and  beyond  them  the  same  number  of 
very  elegant  brass  lamps.  A  table  of  considerable  size 
held  a  collection  of  good  engravings,  and  a  few  volumes, 
handsomely  bound,  of  some  admired  authors.  Japanned 
slabs,  each  of  which  supported  an  alabaster  figure,  occu- 
pied the  piers  of  the  room ;  and  besides  these,  on  two 
small  tables,  there  were  some  very  elegant  specimens  of 
china.  From  the  centre  of  the  ceiling  was  suspended  a 
magnificent  lamp,  which  seemed  like  the  monarch  of  the 
whole,  shining  upon  all  alike.  Card-tables  and  chess- 
boards were,  also,  to  be  found  in  different  parts  of  the 
room,  offering  amusement  to  those  for  whom  the  other 
tables  had  no  attractions.  Altogether  it  was  a  brilliant 
room,  but  however  I  might  feel  pleased  with  it  at  that 
moment,  I  now  question  the  taste  which  had,  in  thus  mu> 


FUHNITUKE.  179 

implying  ornaments,  adapted  the  room  rather  for  lounging 
and  self-indulgence,  than  for  the  purpose  of  social  inter- 
course. But  to  return  to  some  of  the  essential  parts  of 
furniture.  Does  not  rose-wood  require  great  care  u? 
cleaning  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  should  be  gently  rubbed  every  day  with  a 
soft  duster,  but  should  not  be  touched  with  wax  or  oil, 
which  would  destroy  the  varnish  of  the  upholsterer. 
There  are  various  mixtures  prepared  for  polishing  ma- 
hogany, but  the  best  is  the  cold-drawn  linseed  oil,  which, 
if  put  on  occasionally,  and  rubbed  well  in,  forms,  in  time, 
so  settled  a  varnish,  that  nothing  injures  it.  The  chief  dis- 
advantage arising  from  the  use  of  the  oil  is  the  dark  colour 
to  which  it  brings  the  mahogany,  which  of  late,  it  has 
been  more  fashionable  to  preserve  in  its  lightest  shade. 

Marble  slabs  should  be  washed  with  a  flannel  and  cold 
soap  and  water.  Every  thing  that  is  japanned  is  much 
improved  by  a  little  spirit  of  turpentine  being  rubbed  upon 
them  ;  but  the  smell  of  the  turpentine  renders  it  impos- 
sible to  use  it  often  in  a  drawing-room.  It  would,  how- 
ever, seldom  be  necessary  to  have  this  done,  if  every  thing 
be  kept  clean  by  gentle  rubbing  ;  a  piece  of  old  silk  is  the 
best  kind  of  rubb  r  for  such  things. 

The  curtains,  in  a  drawing-room,  are  made  of  various 
materials,  but  seldom  of  moreen.  Chintz,  and  watered 
and  plain  damasks,  are  most  usual.  The  colours  for  draw- 
ing-room curtains  are  generally  delicate  ;  and  the  curtains 
are  now  made  with  great  simplicity.  They  are  hung 
upon  a  richly  gilt  or  brass  rod,' with  large  brass  rings, 
and  have  no  drapery  or  cornice.  White  muslin  curtains, 
edged  with  lace,  or  with  a  ribbon  run  through  broad  hems, 
are  still  much  used  as  inner  curtains  or  blinds. 

Bright  stoves,  highly-polished  fire-irons,  and  steel  fen- 
ders, are  among  the  indispensable  parts  of  drawing-room 
furniture.  These  should  be  rubbed  every  day  with  a 
leather,  to  preserve  the  polish,  and  to  rub  off  every  ap- 


180  FURXITUEE. 

pearance  of  rust.  Linen  is  the  very  worst  thing 
which  to  clean  any  thing  of  steel,  for  the  least  damp  upon 
it  would  dim  the  high  polish,  and  occasion  rust.  When 
any  spots  of  rust  have  unluckily  appeared,  fine  emery 
paper  may  be  rubbed  gently  upon  it,  but  this  must  be  done 
very  carefully,  else,  in  removing  the  rust,  it  will  leave  be- 
hind a  scratched  appearance.  The  bright  stoves  are 
terrible  grievances  to  the  house-maid,  and  give  her  harder 
work  to  keep  them  in  order  than  any  other  part  of  the 
furniture  of  which  she  has  the  care.  To  the  burnt  bars 
she  has  no  alternative  but  the  use  of  the  emery  paper, 
which  scratches  them,  and  compels  her  to  hard  rubbing 
before  she  can  restore  them  to  a  proper  degree  of  bril- 
liancy. The  ironmongers  recommend  polished  steel  to 
be  rubbed  with  putty  powder,  laid  on  with  a  buff  stick, 
and  then  rubbed  off  with  the  leather.* 

MRS.  L. — How  should  the  oil-cloth  in  halls  and  passages 
be  kept  clean  ? 

MRS.  B.— Perhaps  your  servants  may  tell  you  that  milk 
and  water,  or  soap  and  water,  improve  the  polish  of  oil- 
cloth ;  but  this  is  not  the  case.  Oil-cloth  should  be  washed 
with  warm  water  and  a  flannel.  Soap,  instead  of  im- 
proving it,  takes  the  paint  off;  and  milk  gives  it  a  streaky 
and  greasy  appearance,  and  deprives  it  of  its  glossiness. 
Bees'  wax,  rubbed  on  with  a  brush,  gives  a  good  polish, 
and  prevents  the  paint  from  wearing  off,  but  it  renders  it 
slippery,  and  dangerous  to  walk  upon. 

MRS.  L. — Can  you  give  me  any  directions  respecting 
the  choice  of  bed-room  furniture  ?  Feather  beds,  for  in- 
stance :  how  shall  I  be  able  to  ascertain  their  quality  ? 

MRS.  B. — Feathers  when  good  are  light  and  elastic ; 
if  heavy  and  knotted  together  they  are  certainly  bad. 

*  A  composition  made  by  boiling  Caotchouc,  or  Indian  rubber,  in  spirit  of 
turpentine,  and  spread  over  polished  steel  furniture,  with  a  flat,  soft  brushj 
is  said  to  preserve  it  from  rust;  and,  like  a  varnish  on  wood,  to  retain  its 


FURNITURE.  181 

I  he  quill  of  the  feathers  should  be  cut  off  close,  and  only 
>he  top  of  the  feather  retained.  A  great  evil  frequently 
attendant  on  new  feathers  is  a  disagreeable  smell,  which  I 
believe  is  owing  to  the  feathers  not  having  been  sufficient- 
ly stoved  to  destroy  the  animal  juice.  When  there  is  this 
defect  in  a  new  feather  bed,  the  only  remedy  is  either  to 
have  the  feathers  taken  out  of  the  tick  and  stoved  again, 
or  to  have  the  bed  constantly  in  use.  In  time  the  smell 
will  go  off;  but  this  latter  remedy  is  not  a  very  agreeable 
one. 

It  is  of  importance  to  have  a  strong  linen  bedtick ;  a 
thin,  coarse  one  suffers  the  feathers  to  escape  from  it  when 
the  bed  is  shaken,  and,  in  time,  diminishes  the  bulk  of 
the  bed,  in  a  greater  degree  than  you  would  imagine. 

To  every  bed  there  should  be,  besides  the  feather  bed, 
either  a  wool  or  a  hair  mattress,  a  bolster,  and  two  pillows. 
Those  who  like  a  high  bed  have  straw  paillasses  under 
the  mattress.  Hair  mattresses  are  not  much  more  expensive 
than  wool,  and,  being  elastic,  are  generally  liked  better* 
although  they  are  not  as  warm. 

The  Witney  blankets  are  considered  the  best  kind :  they 
are  thick  and  woolly,  and  yet  light.  The  Lancashire 
blankets  are  closer  and  heavier. 

Marsellois  counterpanes  are  very  handsome  in  appear- 
ance, but  are  so  heavy,  that  to  sleep  under  them  occasions 
an  oppression  almost  as  bad  as  the  night-mare.  Heavy 
bed-clothes  are  unhealthy,  rendering  the  respiration  diffi- 
cult, and  increasing  the  heat  of  the  body  to  a  greater  degree 
than  is  desirable.  In  some  houses,  I  have  noticed  that  the 
Marsellois  counterpane  is  withdrawn  from  the  bed  at  night, 
and  replaced  by  one  made  of  lighter  materials. 

The  general  practice  of  having  carpets  nailed  down 
over  the  bed-room  floors  I  cannot  admire.  Bed-room  car- 
pets, in  my  opinion,  should  be  loose,  and  consist  of  mode- 
rate-sized pieces,  that  may  be  taken  out  of  the  room  at 
least  twice  in  the  course  of  the  week,  and  should  have 
16 


182  FURNITURE. 

the  dust  well  shaken  from  them.  In  town  this  is  morfe 
important  than  in  the  country,  because  insects  of  no 
pleasing  description,  with  which  the  town  is  said  to  abound, 
are  fostered  by  dust  and  uncleanliness.  And  here  let  me 
remark,  how  very  necessary  it  is  to  sweep  under  every 
bed  each  day.  Nothing  betrays  an  untidy  house-maid 
more  than  the  flue  which  collects  under  beds,  and  which, 
in  a  short  time,  will  introduce  into  the  beds  a  thousand 
nightly  foes.  Some  housemaids  pretend  to  have  a  horror 
of  a  mop,  and  think  it  degrading  to  use  one  ;  nor  should 
I  like  to  see  my  rooms  mopped  over  instead  of  being- 
scoured,  but  1  have  always  insisted  upon  having  a  clean 
mop  among  the  house-maid's  implements ;  and  that  this, 
made  damp,  should  be  used  under  every  bed,  wardrobe, 
and  drawers,  in  the  house,  each  day.  This  damp  mop 
collects  all  the  dust  that  may  have  escaped  the  broom, 
and  prevents  it  accumulating.  Damp  tea-leaves  sprinkled 
over  bed-room  carpets,  on  those  days  in  which  they  are 
not  taken  up,  have  the  same  good  effect  in  gathering  up 
the  dust. 

For  the  top  of  the  bed  I  recommend  ycu  to  have  se- 
veral sheets  of  cartridge-paper  pasted  together,  and  laid 
upon  the  tester,  which,  as  the  dust  accumulates  upon  it, 
can  be  drawn  off  and  cleaned. 

The  bed-hangings  are,  now,  generally,  either  of  moreen, 
or  of  chintz  lined  with  coloured  calico.  Moreen  is  very 
serviceable,  and  is  well  suited  to  cold  situations  ;  it  requires 
no  lining,  and,  therefore,  is  less  expensive  than  chintz,  though 
not  so  pretty.  Chintz  washes  tolerably  well,  and,  when 
fresh  calendered,  looks  almost  as  well  as  if  it  were  new. 
But  to  have  a  bed  fresh  calendered  and  new  lined,  which 
it  generally  requires  after  the  wear  of  two  or  three  years, 
is  expensive.  The  calico  with  which  chintz  is  usually 
lined  is  seldom  very  strong  when  new,  and,  if  it  is  exposed 
to  much  sun,  it  becomes  too  tender  to  bear  either  washing 
or  fresh  dyeing.  Every  time,  therefore,  a  chintz  bed  ha 


FURNITURE.  183 

to  be  washed,  the  expense  is  equal  to  that  of  buying  a 
new  one. 

in  a  well-furnished  house,  each  bed-room  and  dressing- 
room  should  contain  every  thing  requisite  for  the  comfort- 
able accommodation  of  either  the  different  members  ol' 
the  family,  or  the  visitants.  It  is  miserable  to  see  splen- 
dour in  the  drawing-room,  and  deficiency  of  comfort  in 
the  bed-room.  Indeed  our  sleeping  apartments  should  be 
the  abode  of  comfort  and  cleanliness  :  calculated  to  refresh 
our  bodies,  by  the  complete  appropriation  of  every  thing 
they  contain  to  the  purposes  of  rest  and  usefulness.  I 
think  I  should  desire  bed-rooms  to  be  adapted  as  much 
for  the  repose  of  the  senses  as  for  the  body.  The  eye, 
perhaps  already  dazzled  by  glare  and  show,  should  not 
here  be  caught  by  splendid  decorations  and  gaudy  colours, 
Imt  a  quiet  cheerfulness  should  prevail,  by  which  the 
spirits  may  be  recruited  after  the  waste  they  have,  perhaps, 
experienced  from  business  or  from  pleasure. 

Nurseries  should  be  airy  and  cheerful,  and  both  the  day 
and  sleeping  nurseries  should  have  no  more  furniture  in 
them  than  what  is  absolutely  necessary.  In  the  day  room, 
in  particular,  there  should  be  as  little  as  possible  to  impede 
the  active  sports  of  its  little  inhabitants,  or  render  their 
amusements  in  any  way  dangerous.  Sharp-cornered  tables, 
projecting  shelves,  and  low  fenders,  should  never  be  ad- 
mitted into  the  nursery,  nor  should  any  hooks  or  nails  be 
placed  within  the  reach  of  juvenile  heads  and  eyes.  The 
windows  should  be  made  to  open  only  on  the  upper  part  of 
the  sash,  or  should  have  strong  bars  fixed  so  high  as  to  ren- 
der them  proof  against  the  adventurous  spirit  of  childhood. 

The  sleeping  nursery  cannot,  likewise,  be  too  plainly 
furnished.  Beds  and  cribs,  without  hangings,  a  low  wash- 
ing-table, a  few  chairs,  a  wooden  tub  for  the  children  to 
stand  in  when  they  are  washed,  one  or  two  small  wooden 
horses,  and  a  sufficiency  of  drawers  and  shelves,  are  the 
chief  articles  of  furniture  which  it  requires. 


184  FURNITURE. 

Let  your  servants'  apartments  be  as  plainly  furnished 
as  you  like,  but  let  the  furniture  be  good  of  its  kind,  and 
such  as  will  render  those  comfortable  by  night  who  have 
to  labour  for  us  through  the  day. 

MRS.  L. — We  have  not  yet  entered  the  butler's  pantry, 
which  contains  a  considerable  portion  of  essentials,  as  well 
as  of  various  ornamental  articles.  We  are  possessed  of  a 
quantity  of  plate,  the  heir-loom  of  several  generations. 
Many  parts  of  it  are  rich  and  massive,  but  now  useless ; 
and  often  I  am  tempted  to  wish  it  were  again  subjected 
to  the  melter's  pot,  that  it  might  be  wrought  into  other  and 
more  modern  forms. 

MRS.  B.— Plate  is  so  little  affected  by  fashion,  that  1 
should  have  thought  the  greater  part  of  your's  might  have 
oeen  brought  into  use.  The  antique  and  massive  pieces 
which  you  would  condemn  to  the  crucible,  would  be  viewed 
with  a  species  of  veneration  by  most  people,  who  would 
not  consider  their  antiquity  as  any  defect.  Old  plate  marks 
ancestorial  dignity,  and,  therefore,  is  not  likely  to  be  des- 
pised by  the  generality  of  its  possessors.  Few  persons 
who  can  boast  of  family  honours,  are  indifferent  to  any  ot 
their  insignia,  even  if  they  are  not  inclined  to  overlook  the 
more  substantial  advantages  of  fortune.  The  imperishable 
nature  of  plate,  and  the  little  intrinsic  value  which  it  loses 
by  time,  renders  its  purchase  less  imprudent  than  if  an 
equal  sum  were  expended,  either  in  ornamental  glass  or 
china.  Yet,  attention  should  be  paid  to  consistency  in  the 
purchase  of  plate,  as  much  as  on  the  various  points  which 
we  have  before  discussed.  Some  portion  of  plate  is  essen- 
tial, and  even  economical,  in  every  family,  but  whole  ser- 
vices are  exclusively  the  appendages  of  rank  and  affluence, 
and  appear  to  me  absolutely  to  require  a  correspondence 
in  every  particular,  throughout  the  house,  the  table,  and 
the  whole  establishment.  That  which  is  only  consistently 
superb  in  the  house  and  on  the  table  of  the  nobleman,  would 
be  absurd  in  the  cottage,  or  at  the  board  of  the  tradesman. 


CLEANING  PLATE.  186 

MRS.  L. — There  are  various  ways  of  cleaning  plate ; 
which  do  you  recommend  ? 

MRS.  B. — After  the  plate  has  been  washed  with  hot 
water,  rub  it  over  with  a  mixture  of  levigated  hartshorn 
and  spirits  of  turpentine,  which  is  the  best  preparation  I 
have  known  for  cleansing  plate  and  renewing  its  polish. 
Remember,  that  two  good-sized  leathers  are  required  for 
cleaning  plate,  one  of  which  should  be  kept  for  rubbing 
off  the  hartshorn-powder,  and  the  other  for  polishing  up 
the  silver  afterwards.  This  process  should  be  performed 
twice  a  week ;  but  on  other  days,  merely  rubbing  with 
the  leathers,  after  washing,  will  be  sufficient.  I  have  never 
seen  any  plate  look  better  than  that  which  is  cleaned 
according  to  this  direction,  and  there  is  nothing  in  the 
ingredients  I  have  mentioned  that  can  in  the  least  injure 
the  silver,  which  is  sometimes  the  case  with  the  nostrums 
that  servants  employ.  The  only  thing  to  be  strictly 
regarded  by  the  servant  who  uses  it,  is  to  rub  it  off  so  well 
that  the  plate  shall  not  retain  the  slightest  smell  of  the 
turpentine.  The  turpentine  is  useful  in  removing  every 
particle  of  greasiness  from  the  plate,  which  mere  washing 
will  not  do.  I  have  seen  some  plate  cleaned  with  muriatic 
acid,  which  gives  a  very  high  polish,  but  also  a  deep 
colour  to  the  plate,  almost  resembling  steel.  The  harts- 
horn and  turpentine  give  as  good  a  polish  as  the  acid, 
without  injuring  or  changing  the  colour  of  the  silver. 

Many  people  still  prefer  whiting  and  water,  which 
cleans  tolerably  well,  but  does  not  renew  the  polish. 
When  silver  has,  through  neglect,  become  very  dim  and 
dirty-looking,  it  is  necessary  to  boil  it  in  soap  and  water 
for  some  little  time,  and  afterwards  the  turpentine  and 
hartshorn-powder  can  be  used  to  great  advantage. 

And  now  let  me  caution  you  against  intrusting  too  much 

of  it  into  the  hands  of  servants.     It  is  leading  them  into 

daily  temptation,  which  at  some  unhappy  moment  they 

may  not  have  resolution  to  resist.    It  is  seldom  difficult, 

16* 


186  PRESERVATION  OF  PLATE. 


either  in  town  or  in  country,  to  dispose  of  stolen  goods, 
and  particularly  plate,  which  favours  the  practices  of  the 
dishonest  by  the  smallness  of  its  bulk  compared  to  its 
value.  This  renders  it  easy  to  carry  it  off  unobserved, 
and  as  it  is  as  readily  melted  down,  its  identity  is  quickly 
destroyed.  Unfortunately  we  cannot  avoid  intrusting  it 
into  hands  doubtful,  sometimes,  from  carelessness  of  habit, 
and,  sometimes,  from  dishonesty ;  and,  perhaps,  the  only 
thing  to  be  done  is  to  enforce  the  observance  of  a  few  re- 
gulations which  may  serve  as  checks  upon  either  the  one 
or  the  other  failing.  In  the  first  place,  I  suppose  you  to 
be  provided  with  a  proper  plate-chest,  or  to  have  appro- 
priated a  strong  closet  in  which  to  keep  the  plate  you  do 
not  require  for  daily  use.  In  this  closet  there  should  be, 
besides  the  list  of  the  whole  stock,  one  which  marks  the 
quantity  given  out ;  so  that,  after  any  occasional  use  of  the 
whole,  you  will  have  these  ready  to  refer  to  while  you  are 
superintending  the  replacing  of  it  in  the  strong  chest. 

The  plate  which  is  in  daily  use,  should  be  intrusted  to 
the  care  of  the  servant  who  has  the  charge  of  cleaning  it. 
This,  in  some  families,  devolves  on  the  butler,  in  others, 
on  the  footman,  and  on  the  housemaid  where  there  are  no 
men-servants.  It  should  be  counted  over  to  them  when  it 
is  first  placed  in  their  hands,  and  they  should  be  made  to 
feel  responsible  for  its  re-appearance  when  it  is  required. 
They  should  be  instructed  to  count  it  over  every  night, 
before  they  lock  it  up  in  the  chest,  or  the  drawer,  in  which 
it  is  kept ;  nor  should  they  have  permission  to  give  the 
key  of  this  drawer  to  any  one  of  the  servants  unless 
upon  some  emergency.  This  frequent  and  regular  inves- 
tigation is  the  surest  method  of  keeping  together  all  the 
smaller  articles  of  plate  ;  it  leads  to  an  immediate  inquiry 
when  any  part  of  it  is  missing,  and  it  may,  also,  enable  the 
responsible  servant  to  ascertain  which  individual  of  the 
family  had  it  last  in  use.  It  makes  the  house-maid  atten- 
tive in  bringing  down  the  spoons,  which  are,  now  and  then, 


PRESERVATION  OF  GLASS  AND  CHINA.  1 87 

required  in  bed-rooms  ;  and,  indeed,  it  checks  carelessness 
in  mislaying  the  plate  among  the  servants  generally.  When 
any  article  of  plate  is  missing,  and  the  strictest  search  for 
it  has  been  unsuccessful,  it  becomes  the  duty  of  the  ser- 
vant who  has  it  in  charge  to  inform  his  master  or  his  mis- 
tress of  the  loss,  that  they  may  examine  into  the  circum- 
stances, and  endeavour  to  discover  how  it  has  happened. 
If  this  examination  satisfy  them  that  the  loss  is  to  be  at- 
tributed to  accident  alone,  it  is  not  likely  that  they  will  be 
very  severe,  or  demand  remuneration  from  their  servant : 
they  will  rather  endeavour  to  explain  to  him  that  they  do 
not  desire  to  punish  him  for  a  misfortune,  but  only,  by 
proper  restraints,  and  by  the  apprehension  of  disgrace,  to 
keep  him  from  error. 

MRS.  L. — The  glass  and  china  also  belong  to  the  butler's 
department.  What  a  beautiful  variety  of  each  the  shops 
now  present  to  us !  But,  it  is  all  of  so  expensive  a  de- 
scription that  inclination  is  compelled  to  yield  to  the  curb 
and  rein  of  economy.  Taste  alone  must  not  guide  me  in 
the  purchase  of  this  branch  of  household  goods. 

MRS.  B.— Some  considerable  quantity  of  glass  and  china 
cannot  be  dispensed  with ;  but  that  which  is  intended  for 
constant  use,  need  not,  surely,  be  of  so  costly  a  nature  as 
to  make  you  tremble  and  feel  uneasy  at  every  accident 
that  may  occur.  It  is  very  probable,  that  some  degree  of 
apprehension  generally  exists  when  these  brittle  appen- 
dages of  the  table  are  of  a  very  expensive  description  ; 
and  I  do  not  think  that  this  apprehension  can  be  compen- 
sated by  the  trifling  pleasure  of  possessing  and  using  them. 
It  is  the  form,  and  not  the  ornaments  upon  them  which 
gives  them  their  chief  beauty,  and  this  advantage  may 
belong  to  the  least  expensive  as  well  as  to  the  most  super!) 
service  of  glass  or  of  china.  Cut  glass  is  generally  double 
the  price  of  that  which  is  plain,  but  it  has  the  advantage 
of  being  stronger  and  thicker ;  and,  therefore,  it  may  be 
considered  as  more  serviceable. 


188  CHINA  AND  CROCKERY  WARE. 

MRS.  L.—The  blue  and  white  china  is  not,  I  think,  as 
fashionable  as  it  used  to  be.  Do  you  admire  it  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  think  it  is  pretty,  but  I  do  not  like  it  so  well 
as  many  of  the  other  kinds  of  china.  That  which  is  made 
at  Swansea,  as  well  as  the  Derby  and  the  Worcester  china, 
is  extremely  beautiful,  and  affords  a  puzzling  variety  to 
the  purchaser.  You  will,  I  suppose,  have  a  dinner-service 
of  china,  to  be  used  when  there  is  company,  and  I  should 
recommend  you  to  have  another  service  for  ordinary  use : 
for  if  the  best  have  to  bear  the  brunt  of  every  day's  din- 
ner, it  will  very  soon  become  chipped  at  the  edges,  with 
here  and  there  a  cracked  dish  and  a  broken  handle.  You 
may  easily  select  a  very  neat  plain  service,  of  which  the 
expense  will  not  be  such  as  to  render  any  breakage  very 
vexatious.  The  kitchen,  too,  should  be  provided  with  its 
service  of  plain  white-ware ;  comprehending,  besides  a 
sufficiency  of  plates,  basins,  cups,  and  jugs,  a  good  store  of 
dishes  of  different  sizes,  to  give  the  cook  the  power  of  re- 
moving hot  joints  of  meat,  which  are  brought  from  the 
table,  from  the  dish  upon  which  they  have  been  served, 
before  the  fat  of  the  gravy  has  had  time  to  cool  and  to 
adhere  to  the  meat.  No  tidy  cook  will  suffer  meat  to  re- 
main on  the  dish  on  which  it  was  served.  The  kitchen- 
ware  should,  also,  include  some  pudding-cups,  or  moulds 
of  different  sizes ;  pie-dishes,  and  covered  jars  for  the 
currants,  rice,  and  sugar,  which  the  cook  may,  occasionally, 
receive  from  the  stores.  She  will  require  two  or  three 
pans  for  salting  meat,  tongues,  and  hams ;  and  a  large, 
covered  earthen  pan  or  a  wicker  basket  to  keep  her  bread 
in.  The  pan  is,  perhaps,  the  best,  as  I  believe  an  insect 
is  apt  to  breed  in  the  wicker  of  the  basket ;  which  is,  also, 
more  likely  to  allow  the  bread  to  become  too  dry.  There 
are  covered  jars  to  be  bought  which  hold  about  twelve 
pounds  of  any  commodity.  These  may  be  obtained  with 
the  names  of  various  articles  printed  on  them,  such  as  ncf, 
sugar,  sago,  fa. 


METHOD  OF  CLEANING  GLASS.  189 

MRS.  L.— Do  you  know  any  good  method  of  cleaning 
glass  when  it  looks  dull,  or  when  it  is  discoloured  by  having 
had  Avine  in  it  for  some  time  ?  I  have  a  great  desire  to 
have  the  glass  look  as  brilliant  and  clear  as  possible. 
There  is,  in  this  respect,  a  great  difference  in  various 
houses,  which,  I  suppose,  must  arise  from  a  little  negligence 
in  the  master  or  the  mistress,  and  a  great  deal  on  the  part 
of  the  servants. 

MRS.  B. — Decanters,  in  which  the  wine  has  stood  some 
time,  may  be  cleaned  by  putting  a  few  drops  of  muriatic 
acid  into  them,  and  afterwards  washing  them  well  with 
cold  water.  Muriatic  acid,  put  into  the  water  in  which 
the  glass  is  washed,  removes  any  discoloration  from  wine, 
and  certainly  improves  the  polish  of  the  glass.  Egg-shells 
pounded  small,  and  put  with  some  water  into  decanters, 
will  have  the  same  effect.  Much  of  the  brilliancy  of  glass 
depends  on  drying  it  with  great  care,  immediately  after  it 
is  washed  ;  and  rubbing  it  for  some  time  after  it  is  dry.  You 
must  remember  in  purchasing  glass -cloths  to  buy  them 
tolerably  fine,  because,  from  fine  linen,  there  is  but  little 
lint ;  when  these  cloths  give  much  lint  to  the  glass,  it  oc- 
casions great  trouble  to  the  servant  to  remove  it  entirely. 
A  brush  is  necessary  for  polishing  cut-glass  after  it  has  been 
wiped  dry.  There  are  brushes  made  soft,  on  purpose  for 
glass.  Glass,  you  know,  is  washed  in  cold  water,  and 
china  in  as  hot  as  can  be  used.  Some  people  think  it 
better  to  wash  glass  in  water  just  warmed,  but  I  do  not 
think  it  looks  so  clear  afterwards  as  it  does  when  washed 
in  cold  water ;  besides,  servants  are  sometimes  hasty  in 
their  proceedings,  and  I  have  seen  them  plunge  glass  into 
hot  instead  of  warm  water,  by  the  effect  of  which  there 
has  been  an  instant  loss  of  one  or  more  articles.  In  frosty 
weather,  glasses  are  very  liable  to  crack,  if  hot  water  be 
put  suddenly  into  them.  This  circumstance  is  owing  to 
the  sudden  expansion  of  the  inside  of  the  glass,  while  the 
outside  remains  contracted ;  for  as  glass  is  a  very  bad  con- 


1 90  CEMENTS  FOR  CHINA. 

ductor  of  heat,  the  heat  does  not  permeate  the  side  of  the 
vessel  sufficiently  quick  to  expand  it  equally  throughout. 
Glass  lamps  and  lustres  should  be  washed  in  cold  water 
with  soap,  put  on  with  a  sponge  or  a  piece  of  flannel. 

MRS.  L. — Is  it  of  much  use  to  ceme  glass  and  china 
when  broken  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  do  not  think  glass  can  be  cemented  well. 
The  broken  parts  may  sometimes  be  rivetted  together  by 
Very  small  brass  tacks,  but  they  spoil  the  appearance  of 
the  thing  they  repair.  China  not  being  transparent,  may 
be  cemented  better  than  glass,  though  I  do  not  think  it  is 
ever  very  serviceable  after  it  has  undergone  the  process. 
It  may  be  rivetted  as  well  as  glass  ;  but  neither  cementing 
nor  rivetting  will  render  any  article  thus  repaired,  capable 
of  again  holding  a  liquid  with  safety.  For  old  china 
which  is  kept  merely  for  ornament,  cementing  answers 
very  well.  I  have  made  a  very  good  cement  by  mixing 
together  equal  parts  of  glue,  white  of  egg,  and  white  lead. 
The  juice  of  the  garlic  is  another  strong  cement,  and  leaves 
no  mark  where  it  has  been  used.  A  very  good  cement  is 
made  by  boiling  the  curd  of  skim-milk  with  lime. 

There  is  also  another  excellent  cement  (but  it  is  rather 
troublesome  to  prepare,)  which  is  made  by  steeping  two 
ounces  of  glue  for  some  hours  in  distilled  vinegar,  and 
afterwards  boiling  them  together.  Then  pound  to  a  soft 
pulp  a  clove  of  garlic,  and  half  an  ounce  of  ox-gall,  the 
juice  of  which  must  be  strained  through  a  linen  cloth,  and 
added  to  the  vinegar  and  glue ;  then  a  drachm  of  gum 
sandarach,  powdered  ;  a  drachm  of  turpentine,  half  a 
drachm  of  sarcocol,  and  of  mastic  powder,  with  an  ounce 
of  highly  rectified  spirits  of  wine,  must  be  put  together 
in  a  bottle,  which  must  be  stopped,  and  put  into  a  place 
in  which  the  enclosed  mixture  can  be  gently  heated. 
Here  it  must  remain  for  three  hours,  and  during  that  time 
must  be  frequently  shaken.  This  mixture  must  be  poured 
upon  the  solution  of  glue  while  hot,  and  both  must  be 


SUPPLY  OF  PROVISIONS. MARKETING.  191 

t 

stirred  together  with  a  stick.  Part  of  the  moisture  must 
be  evaporated  by  the  fire,  when  it  will  be  fit  for  use. 
This  cement  must  be  wet  with  vinegar,  and  melted  over 
the  fire  before  it  is  used.  When  glass  is  to  be  cemented, 
some  powdered  glass  should  be  mixed  with  it. 

I  am  afraid,  you  have  found  our  conversation  tedious, 
from  the  many  details  it  has  embraced.  Let  us  endeavour 
to  shake  off  some  of  its  effects  by  a  walk,  before  the  sun 
takes  its  departure. 


CONVERSATION   V. 

SUPPLY  OF  PROVISIONS. — MARKETING, — PERSONALLY, — BY 
SERVANTS. — BOOKS  TO  BE  KEPT  WITH  TRADESMEN. — 
PROVISIONS  WHICH  ARE  NOT  OF  A  PERISHABLE  NATURE 
ARE  MOST  ADVANTAGEOUSLY  PURCHASED  IN  LARGE  QUAN- 
TITIES.  STORES, DISTRIBUTION, — PERSONALLY,  OR 

UNDER  A  HOUSEKEEPER. — CONFECTIONARY.— PRESERVES. 

PICKLES. COMPARATIVE     ADVANTAGE     OF     MAKING 

THESE  AT  HOME  AND  PURCHASING  THEM. — WINE-CELLAR. 
FRUIT-ROOM. COOKERY-BOOKS, WHEN  TO  BE  IM- 
PLICITLY FOLLOWED,  WHEN  MODIFIED. 

MRS.  L. — To  supply  a  family  advantageously  with  pro- 
visions is  another  important  point  of  good  management, 
upon  which  I  request  your  advice. 

MRS.  B. — The  first  law,  in  this  branch  of  economy,  is 
to  purchase  every  article  at  the  best  market,  and  of  the 
best  quality.  Although  the  cost  of  inferior  things  may 
tempt  you  to  buy  them,  you  will  find,  as  they  are  con- 
sumed, so  much  waste,  in  consequence  of  their  inferiority, 
that  the  price  is  soon  equalized  with  articles  of  a  superior 


192  MARKETING. — CHOICE  OF  MEAT. 

kind.  However  economically  it  may  be  expedient  for 
any  family  to  live,  it  will  still  be  found  that  the  best  pro- 
visions are  the  cheapest ;  and  this  is  particularly  the  case 
with  butchers'  meat,  the  coarse  joints  being,  in  general, 
very  unprofitable.  The  bone,  skin,  and  gristle,  in  such 
pieces,  bear  a  great  proportion  to  the  meat,  which  is  it- 
self hard,  indigestible,  and  particularly  unsuitable  either 
for  the  stomachs  of  delicate  people  or  for  those  of  children. 
The  most  advantageous  way  of  employing  it,  is  in  making 
soups  or  gravies  ;  and  it  does,  also,  very  well  for  sausage 
meat;  but  for  roasting  and  boiling,  choose  the  prime 
joints,  such  as  legs  of  veal  and  mutton,  sirloins,  ribs,  and 
rounds  of  beef. 

MRS.  L. — Were  I  to  market  for  myself,  how  strangely 
I  should  be  puzzled  in  my  choice  of  meat !  How  could 
I  tell  whether  it  was  fine  or  indifferent,  recently  or  too 
long  killed  ? 

MRS.  B. — There  are  some  rules  which  may  at  first  assist 
you ;  and  after  a  little  practice  and  experience,  you  will 
be  able  to  ascertain  almost  from  the  first  look,  the  quality 
and  state  of  the  meat.  These  rules  I  will  give  you.  OX- 
BEEF,  when  it  is  young,  will  have  a  fine  open  grain,  and  a 
good  red  colour ;  the  fat  should  be  white,  for  when  it  is  of 
a  deep  yellow  colour,  the  meat  is  seldom  very  good,  and 
the  animal  has  probably  been  fed  upon  oil-cakes,  which 
may  have  fattened  and  increased  its  bulk,  but  certainly  it 
will  be  found  not  to  have  improved  either  the  flavour  or 
the  appearance  of  the  meat.*  The  grain  of  cow-beef  is 
closer,  the  fat  whiter,  and  the  lean  scarcely  so  red  as  that 
of  ox-beef.  When  you  see  beef,  of  which  the  fat  is  hard 
and  skinny,  and  the  lean  of  a  deep-red,  you  may  suppose 

*  It  is  necessary  to  correct  an  error,  which  is  too  general  respecting  the 
nature  of  oil-cake.  It  js  not,  as  is  supposed  by  many,  an  animal  matter ;  but 
is  the  cake  produced  by  pressing  the  oil  out  of  linseed,  in  the  preparation  01 
linseed-oil.  It  was  used  in  Holland  for  feeding  cows  more  than  a  century 


MARKETING. CHOICE   OF  MEAT.  193 

it  to  be  of  an  inferior  kind;  and  when  the  meat  is  old  you 
may  know  it  by  a  line  of  a  horny  texture  running  through 
the  meat  of  the  ribs. 

VEAL  is  generally  preferred  of  a  delicate  whiteness ; 
but,  in  my  opinion,  it  is  more  juicy  and  well  flavoured 
when  of  a  deeper  colour.  The  tchers  are  said  to  bleed 
calves  profusely,  in  order  to  produce  this  white  meat ;  but 
this  practice  must  certainly  deprive  the  meat  of  some  of 
its  nourishment  and  flavour.  When  you  choose  veal,  en- 
deavour to  look  at  the  loin,  which  will  afford  you  the  best 
means  of  judging  of  the  veal  generally ;  for  if  the  kidney, 
which  you  will  find  on  the  under  side  of  one  end  of  the 
loin,  be  deeply  enveloped  in  white  and  firm  looking  fat, 
the  meat  will  certainly  be  good  ;  and  the  same  appearance 
will  enable  you  to  judge  if  it  have  been  recently  killed, 
The  kidney  is  the  part  which  changes  the  first;  and, 
then,  the  suet  around  it  becomes  soft,  and  the  meat  flabby 
and  spotted. 

MUTTON  must  be  chosen  by  the  firmness  and  fineness 
of  the  grain,  its  good  colour,  and  firm,  white  fat.  It  is  not 
considered  excellent  until  the  sheep  be  about  five  years 
old,  although  it  is  too  often  killed  younger. 

LAMB  will  not  keep  long  after  it  is  killed.  I  believe 
you  may  discover  by  the  neck  end  in  the  fore  quarter,  if 
it  have  been  killed  too  long  ;  the  vein  in  the  neck  being 
bluish  when  the  meat  is  fresh,  but  green  when  it  is  stale. 
In  the  hind  quarter,  the  same  discovery  may  be  made  by 
examining  the  kidney  and  the  knuckle,  for  the  former  has 
a  slight  smell,  and  the  knuckle  is  not  firm,  when  the  meat 
has  been  too  long  killed. 

FORK  should  have  a  thin  rind  ;  and  when  it  is  fresh,  the 
meat  is  smooth  and  cool ;  but,  when  it  looks  flabby,  and  is 
clammy  to  the  touch,  it  is  not  good :  and  pork,  above  aU 
meat,  is  disagreeable  when  it  is  at  all  stale.  If  you  per- 
ceive many  enlarged  glands,  or,  as  they  are  usually 
termed,  kernels,  in  the  fat  of  pork,  you  may  conclude 
17 


1 94  MARKETING. — FISII. 

that  the  pig  has  been  diseased,  and  the  pork  cannot  be 
wholesome. 

BACON,  also,  should  have  a  thin  rind  ;  the  fat  should  be 
firm,  and  inclined  to  a  reddish  colour ;  and  the  lean  should 
firmly  adhere  to  the  bone,  and  have  no  yellow  streaks  in 
it.  When  you  are  purchasing  a  ham,  have  a  knife  stuck 
in  it  to  the  bone,  which,  if  the  ham  be  well  cured,  may 
be  drawn  out  again  without  having  any  of  the  meat  ad 
hering  to  it,  and  without  your  perceiving  any  disagreeable 
smell.  A  short  ham  is  reckoned  the  best. 

VENISON,  when  young,  will  have  the  fat  clear  and  bright, 
and  this  ought  also  to  be  of  a  considerable  thickness. 
When  you  do  not  wish  to  have  it  in  a  very  high  state,  a 
knife  plunged  into  either  the  haunch  or  the  shoulder,  and 
drawn  out,  will  by  the  smell  enable  you  to  judge  if  the 
meat  be  sufficiently  fresh. 

With  regard  to  venison,  which,  as  it  is  not  an  every  day 
article  of  diet,  it  may  be  convenient  to  keep  for  some  time 
after  it  has  begun  to  get  high  or  tainted,  it  is  useful  to  know 
that  animal  putrefaction  is  checked  by  fresh  burnt  char- 
coal ;  by  means  of  which,  therefore,  the  venison  may  be 
prevented  from  getting  worse,  although  it  cannot  be 
restored  to  its  original  freshness.  The  meat  should  be 
placed  in  a  hollow  dish,  and  the  charcoal  powder  strewed 
over  it  until  it  cover  the  joint  to  the  thickness  of  half 
an  inch. 

MRS.  L. — What  are  the  rules  for  choosing  fish  ? 

MRS.  B. — TURBOT,  which  is  in  season  the  greater  part 
of  the  summer,  should  have  the  underside  of  a  yellowish 
white  ;  for  when  it  is  veiy  transparent,  blue,  or  thin,  it  is 
not  good  :  and  the  whole  fish  should  be  thick  and  firm.  ; 

In  COD,  the  redness  of  the  gills,  the  whiteness,  stiffness, 
and  firmness  of  the  flesh,  and  the  clear  freshness  of  the 
eyes,  are  proofs  of  its  being  good.  The  whole  fisb 
should  be  thick  and  firm.  It  is  in  season  from  December 
to  April. 


MARKETING. FISH.  196 

SALMON  should  have  a  fine  red  flesh  and  gills ;  the  scales 
should  be  bright,  and  the  whole  fish  firm.  Many  persons 
think  that  salmon  is  improved  by  keeping  a  day  or  two , 
but,  in  London,  this  precaution  is  unnecessary.  That 
which  is  caught  in  the  Thames  is  considered  the  finest, 
though  there  can  scarcely  be  better  fish  than  the  Severn 
salmon. 

SKATE  is  white  and  thick  when  it  is  good,  and  may  be 
improved  by  keeping  for  one  or  two  days.  When  it  is 
eaten  very  fresh,  it  is  hard  and  tough. 

SOLES,  when  fresh,  are  cream-coloured  on  the  under 
part ;  but  when  they  are  not  fresh,  their  appearance  is 
bluish  and  flabby.  They  are  a  valuable  fish,  being  almost 
continually  in  season,  besides  being  excellent  eating.  The 
middle  of  summer  is  the  period,  however,  in  which  they 
are  considered  to  be  in  the  greatest  perfection. 

A  HERRING  should  have  red  gills,  and  fresh  bright  eyes  ; 
and  the  whole  fish  should  be  stiff  and  firm. 
1  WHITINGS  may  be  had  good  almost  throughout  the  year ; 
but  the  time  in  which  they  are  in  their  prime  is  early  in 
the  year.  The  whiting  is  a  light  and  delicate  fish,  and 
in  choosing  it  you  must  examine  whether  the  fins  and  flesh 
be  firm. 

MACKEREL  looks  very  flabby,  the  colours  of  the  scales 
faded,  and  the  eyes  dull,  when  it  is  not  fresh.  It  is  almost 
the  worst  fish  for  keeping,  or  for  carrying  to  any  distance ; 
on  which  account  it  is  permitted  to  be  sold  on  Sunday  in 
London. 

The  HAKE  is  a  fish  which  is  much  esteemed,  when  it  is 
good,  in  Ireland  and  the  west  of  England.  It  is  difficult 
to  distinguish  its  goodness  by  the  eye,  but  this  is  readily 
determined  by  examining  a  notch  made  near  the  tail  with 
a  sharp  knife.  If  the  cut  edge  of  the  flesh  appear  curdy, 
the  fish  is  good  and  in  season. 

The  MULLET,  the  DORY,  and  some  other  fish  too,  are  so 
rare,  that  it  is  difficult  to  determine  the  qualities  which 


1 96  MARKETING.  — FISH. 

characterize  their  degrees  of  excellence ;  but  you  will 
seldom  err,  if  you  choose  them  from  the  firm  texture  of 
their  flesh,  the  redness  of  their  gills,  and  the  brilliancy  of 
their  colours.* 


•  There  are  many  excellent  Mi  to  be  found  alive  in  the  markets  of  New 
York  during  their  season.  The  following  are  some  of  them : — 

Halibut.  The  halibut  is  shaped  like  a  flatfish  or  flounder,  and  grows  to  the 
size  of  300  pounds  or  more,  and  is  three  and  four  feet  long.  It  is  brought  to  the 
New- York  market  as  early  in  the  season  as  March  or  April.  This  fish  is 
taken  with  the  hook  and  line  in  the  Atlantic  Ocean  off  Sandy-Hook,  ami 
along  our  coast  to  the  northward  and  eastward,  before  the  water  loses  its 
wintry  coldness.  As  the  warmth  increases,  the  halibut  changes  his  ground, 
and  migrates  to  the  banks  of  Nova-Scotia  and  Newfoundland,  and  theie 
enjoys  a  coolness  congenial  to  his  nature.  The  markets  are  supplied  with 
halibut  in  April  and  May,  and  it  becomes  scarce  in  June.  It  is  sold  from  six 
to  eight  cents  the  pound.  The  flesh  is  white  and  nutritions,  and  may  be 
cooked  in  almost  any  way.  The  rib-pieces,  and  cute  near  the  fins,  are  consi- 
dered the  best  parts. 

Shad.  This  is  one  of  the  best  seasonable  fishes  that  is  to  be  found  in  our 
waters.  It  is  a  species  of  herring  not  common  in  the  waters  of  Europe, 
though  it  is  known  there  as  well  as  here,  by  the  scientific  name  of  Clupei 
Alosa.  It  comes  from  the  ocean,  and  visits  us  at  New- York,  in  an  annual 
migration  regularly  in  March  or  beginning  of  April,  and  disappears  in  June. 
It  is  highly  prized  by  the  people  as  an  article  of  food,  and  during  the  run  of 
shad,  it  is  largely  consumed  in  a  fresh  state,  coming  to  market  daily,  fresh,  and 
good,  as  taken  in  the  river  by  nets.  It  may  be  fried,  broiled,  or  stuffed  and 
roasted,  or  baked  in  an  oven,  but  not  a  good  fish  to  boil.  During  the  remainder 
of  the  year,  when  fresh  shad  are  out  of  season,  the  pickled  or  salted  shad  may 
be  purchased ;  large  quantities  being  taken  and  preserved  in  this  way,  in  the 
rivers  to  the  south  and  north  of  New- York.  The  shadflsh  ascends  the  Hud- 
eon  river  and  others  to  breed.  It  usually  weighs  from  four  to  five  pounds, 
but  has  been  taken  as  heavy  as  twelve  pounds. 

Mackerel.  The  spring  mackerel  is  also  a  migrating  fish,  and  succeeds  the 
shad,  or  commences  its  run  along  the  coast  of  New-Jersey  and  Long  Island 
just  before  the  shad  disappears.  It  does  not  ascend  the  rivers,  but  continues 
its  course  north-eastward  in  immense  shoals,  and  is  taken  by  the  fishermen 
with  the  hook  and  line,  while  sailing  in  smacks  along  the  coast  from  the  mouth 
of  the  Delaware  to  Nova-Scotia. 

These  fish  are  kept  in  cars  and  sold  alive  in  the  markets.  They  arc  mostly 
broiled  and  brought  to  the  breakfast-table.  The  larger  ones,  10  or  18  inches 
long,  sometimes  grace  the  dining-table  when  stuffed  and  baked  in  an  oven. 

Seabass.  This  is  both  a  breakfast  and  dinner  fish.  The  smaller  ones 
broiled  in  the  morning,  and  the  larger  ones  boiled  for  the  dinner-table.  The 
colour  of  this  fish  is  black,  or  speckled  with  black  and  white,  the  black  pre- 


MARKETING. FISH.  197 

Fresh-water  fish  may  be  chosen  by  similar  observations 
respecting  the  firmness  of  the  flesh,  and  the  clear  appear- 
ance of  the  eyes,  as  salt-water  fish. 

dominating  on  the  body  of  the  fish,  and  the  white  on  the  belly.  It  is  short, 
and  thick,  and  weighs  from  two  to  three  pounds.  The  market  is  supplied 
with  the  seabass  from  the  disappearance  of  the  mackerel  in  June  to  the  month 
of  October,  at  from  six  to  eight  cents  the  pound.  It  is  an  excellent  fish,  and 
taken  witli  hook  and  line  most  plentifully  in  the  ocean  near  Sandy  Hook.  A 
few  straggling  ones  ascend  the  river,  and  are  taken  in  the  bay,  and  even  at 
the  wharves  of  this  city. 

Striped-bass  or  Rockjlsh.  This  fish  is  very  highly  and  justly  prized  by  the 
New-Yorkers,  among  whom  it  is  generaHy  known  by  the  former  name,  while 
that  of  Rockfish  is  given  to  it  in  Philadelphia.  It  is  savoury  and  excellent 
beyond  the  generality  of  fishes,  and  may  be  broiled,  boiled,  or  baked.  The 
common  abode  of  the  striped  bass  is  the  salt  water ;  but  he  migrates  to  the 
fresh  streams  and  recesses  to  breed  during  the  spring,  and  for  shelter  in  winte*. 
It  ascends  the  Hudson  river  above  Albany,  and  ia  taken  with  the  hook  and 
line  as  high  up  as  the  mouih  of  the  Mohawk, 

The  greatest  run  of  this  fish  is  late  in  the  fall.  Instead  of  going  away  OB 
the  approach  of  winter,  the  striped-bass  seeks  refuge  in  bays,  and  recess,  on 
the  south  side  of  Long  Island,  where  it  may  remain  warm  and  quiet.  Here 
the  fishermen  find  it,  and  make  great  hauls  in  the  autumn  and  winter,  when 
great  numbers  are  brought  to  market  in  a  frozen  state.  At  this  time  it  ia  usual 
to  take  some  of  the  very  large  and  heavy  ones,  Weighing  from  40  to  60  pounds, 
The  smaller  sizes,  however,  are  the  best.  This  fish  remains  in  our  waters 
all  the  year  round,  but  i?  in  season  from  October  to  spring.  It  is  taken  with 
the  hook  as  well  as  in  nets,  from  the  largest  to  those  of  half  a  pound. 

The  head  and  shoulders  of  a  large  striped-bass  are  most  excellent  broiled, 
containing  most  of«the  fat  and  rich  gelatinous  substance.  A  fish  of  moderate 
size  may  be  boiled  whole,  for  the  dinner-table,  or  stuffed  and  baked,  while  the 
small  ones  are  split  open,  corned  over  night,  and  broiled  in  the  morning  for 
breakfast. 

Blackfish.  The  blackfish  is  a  stationary  inhabitant  of  the  salt  water  about 
New- York,  being  fond  of  rocks,  reefs,  and  rough  bottoms.  It  ia  in  season 
from  A  pril  to  cold  weather,  and  is  considered  a  very  fine  fish  for  the  table.  It 
cells  in  our  market  from  six  to  ten  cents  the  pound.  Blackfish  are  taken  with  the 
hook  and  line,  and  sometimes  weigh  10  or  12  pounds,  but  a  good  size  finh 
weighs  two  and  three  pounds. 

Sheep's-head.  This  fish  grows  large  enough  to  weigh  14  or  15  pounds. 
One  that  weighed  four  pounds  and  a  half,  measured  twenty  inches  in 
length,  eight  in  depth,  and  three  in  thickness.  Sheep's-head  is  the  most 
esteemed  of  the  New-York  fishes,  and  is  sold  for  a  higher  price  than  any 
•other,  excepting,  perhaps,  fresh  salmon  and  trout.  The  price  varies  from  a 
dollar  to  a  dollar  and  a  half,  for  a  fish  of  middle  size,  that  is,  from  four  to  seven 
pounds.  It  is  the  opinion  of  some  that  nothing  of  the  fish  kind  can  exceed  in 
17* 


1 98  MARKETING. FISH. 

CARP  and  TENCH  are  in  season  during  the  months  of 
July,  August,  and  September.     The  former  should  be 
killed  as  soon  as  it  is  caught,  because  it  will  live  a  con 
siderable  time  out  of  water,  and  when  this  is  permitted  it 
wastes  the  firmness  of  its  flesh. 

The  Thames  EELS  are  considered  finer  than  any  other 
which  are  brought  to  market,  and  may  be  known  by  their 
bright  silvery  underside.  Eels  caught  in  pools  have  gene- 
excellence  of  taste  and  flavour,  a  good  boiled  sheep's-head  fish,  properly  pre- 
pared for  dinner. 

This  noble  fish  visits  the  neighbourhood  of  Long  Island  annually.  Emerging 
from  the  depths  of  the  ocean,  he  finds  in  the  recesses  and  inlets  there,  a  plenty 
of  the  crabs,  muscles,  and  clams,  on  which  he  loves  to  feed.  He  confines 
himself  strictly  to  the  salt  water,  never  having  been  seen  in  the  fresh  rivers. 
His  term  of  continuance  is  only  during  the  warmest  season,  that  is,  from  the 
beginning  of  June  to  the  middle  of  September,  or  sometimes  as  late  as  the 
first  of  October.  He  then  departs  to  the  unknown  depths  of  the  Atlantic 
ocean,  and  is  seen  no  more  until  the  ensuing  spring. 

The  sheep's-head  swim  in  shoals,  which  are  sometimes  surrounded  in  great 
numbers  by  the  seine.  This  fish  also  bites  at  the  hook,  and  is  sometimes 
speared  by  torch-light  in  the  shallow  bays  on  the  south  side  of  Long 
Island. 

The  places  where  this  fish  is  found  in  greatest  abundance  are  about  forty 
miles  from  the  city  of  New- York.  He  soon  dies  after  being  removed  from 
his  element,  and  in  such  sultry  weather  as  occurs  after  June  soon  spoils.  The 
fishermen,  therefore,  remove  his  entrails,  lay  him  in  the  water  of  the  coldest 
springs  and  brooks,  and  transport  him  to  market  during  the  coolness  of  night, 
with  all  possible  speed,  in  wagons.  Notwithstanding  these  precautions,  thte 
excellent  fish  is  frequently  spoiled  before  it  can  reach  the  table. 

Codfish.  There  are  several  species  of  cod  sold  alive,  from  the  fishermen's 
stalls,  in  the  New- York  markets.  Of  these  the  common  cod  is  the  best,  and 
is  in  season  from  November  till  spring.  The  price  varies  from  three  to  six 
cents  the  pound,  as  the  market  is  well  or  scantily  supplied.  The  head  and 
shoulders  of  a  large  cod  is  the  best  part  to  grace  the  dinner-table.  The  hake 
and  haddock  are  different  species  of  cod,  and  are  sometimes  offered  for  sale, 
out  they  are  both  inferior  to  the  common  cod. 

The  New- York  markets  are  plentifully  supplied  with  numerous  other  fish, 
which  are  good  eating,  and  sometimes  cheap,  but  are  not  in  such  high  estima- 
tion as  the  foregoing.  We  may  enumerate  young  drum,  porgees,  gurnards, 
weakfish,  flatfish,  perch,  suckers,  &c.  Fresh  salmon  is  sometimes,  though 
rarely,  obtained  from  the  eastward.  Pickled  and  smoked  salmon  are  common. 
That  exquisite  and  delicate  fresh-water  fish,  the  trout,  is  taken  in  the  b>-<v)hR 
of  Long  Island,  and  sometimes  makes  its  appearance  in  market. 


MARKETING. — POULTRY.  199 

tally  a  strong,  rank  flavour.     They  are  in  season  all  the 
year,  except  for  a  short  time  during  the  winter. 

In  a  LOBSTER  lately  caught,  you  may  put  the  claws  in 
motion  by  pressing  the  eyes  with  your  fingers  ;  but  when 
it  has  been  long  caught,  that  muscular  action  is  not  excited. 
The  freshness  of  boiled  lobsters  may  be  determined  by 
the  elasticity  of  the  tail,  which  is  flaccid  when  they  have 
lost  any  degree  of  their  freshness.  Their  goodness,  inde- 
pendent of  freshness,  is  determined  by  their  weight,  the 
heaviest  being  always  the  best. 

The  goodness  of  a  CRAB  is  known  by  its  weight,  also ; 
for,  when  it  proves  light,  the  flesh  is  generally  found  to  be 
wasted  and  watery.  If  in  perfection,  the  joints  of  the  legs 
will  be  stiff",  and  the  body  will  have  an  agreeable  smell. 
The  eyes,  by  a  dull  appearance,  betray  that  the  crab  has 
been  long  caught. 

SEA  CRAY-FISH  are  good,  when  they  are  heavy,  and  the 
eye  bright ;  and  have  no  unpleasant  smell. 

PRAWNS  and  SHRIMPS  are  firm  and  crisp  to  the  touch 
when  they  are  good. 

In  fresh  OYSTERS  the  shell  is  firmly  closed  ;  if  at  all 
opened,  the  oysters  are  not  fresh.  The  Colchester,  Py- 
fleet,  Milibrd,  are  good  for  eating  raw,  but  the  Milton  are 
the  best.  They  are  small  in  the  shell,  but  this  is  com- 
pletely fiHed  with  the  fish.  The  rock  oyster,  which  is 
very  large,  is  coarse  in  flavour,  and  fit  only  for  stewing  or 
for  sauce. 

MRS.  L. — By  what  rules  must  I  be  guided  in  choosing 
poultry  ? 

MRS.  B. — In  the  choice  of  poultry,  the  age  of  the  bird 
is  the  chief  point  to  which  you  should  attend.  A  young 
TURKEY  has  a  smooth  black  leg  ;  in  an  old  one,  the  legs 
are  rough  and  reddish.  If  the  bird  be  fresh  killed,  the 
eyes  will  be  full  and  -fresh,  and  the  feet  moist. 

In  DOMESTIC  FOWLS,  the  combs  and  the  legs  are  smooth 
when  the  bird  is  young,  and  rough  when  it  is  old. 


200  MARKETING. — POULTRY. 

The  bills  and  the  feet  of  GEESE  are  yellow,  and  have  a 
few  hairs  upon  them,  when  the  bird  is  young ;  but  they 
are  red  if  it  be  old.  The  feet  of  a  goose  are  pliable  when 
the  bird  is  fresh  killed,  and  dry  and  stiff  when  it  has  been 
some  time  killed.  Geese  are  called  green  till  they  are 
two  or  three  months  old. 

DUCKS  should  be  chosen  by  the  feet,  which  should  be 
supple ;  and  they  should,  also,  have  a  plump  and  hard 
breast.  The  feet  of  a  tame  duck  are  yellowish,  those  of 
a  wild  one  reddish. 

PIGEONS  should  always  be  eaten  while  they  are  fresh  : 
when  they  look  flabby  and  discoloured  about  the  under- 
part,  they  have  been  kept  too  long  The  feet,  like  those 
of  most  other  poultry,  show  the  age  of  the  bird  :  when 
they  are  supple,  it  is  young  ;  when  stiff,  it  is  old.  Tame 
pigeons  are  larger  than  wild  pigeons. 

With  regard  to  the  age  of  the  HARE  and  the  RABBIT, 
when  the  ears  are  dry  and  tough,  the  haunch  thick,  and 
the  claws  blunt  and  rugged,  they  are  old.  Smooth  and 
sharp  claws,  ears  that  readily  tear,  and  a  narrow  cleft  in 
the  lip,  are  the  marks  of  a  young  hare.  Hares  may  be 
kept  for  some  time  after  they  have  been  killed  ;  indeed, 
many  people  think  they  are  not  fit  for  the  table,  until  the 
inside  begins  to  turn  a  little.  Care,  however,  should  be 
taken,  to  prevent  the  inside  from  becoming  musty,  which 
would  spoil  the  flavour  of  the  stuffing.  A  leveret  is  dis- 
tinguished from  a  hare  by  a  knob,  or  small  bone,  near 
the  foot. 

PARTRIDGES  have  yellow  legs,  and  a  dark-coloured  bill 
when  young.  They  are  not  in  season  till  after  the  first  of 
September. 

These  few  hints  may  be  useful  to  you  in  assisting  your 
observations,  by  which,  indeed,  you  must  chiefly  expect 
to  reap  much  advantage.  Mere  rules  are  soon  forgotten 
unless  they  are  frequently  called  into  action. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  very  much  pleased  to  learn  all  these 


MARKETING  BY  SERVANTS.  204 

things,  but  will  it  not  save  me  much  trouble  to  accustom 
my  cook  to  market?  Thus,  I  should  compel  her  to  use 
and  improve  her  judgment  on  all  those  points  which  belong 
to  her  department.  I  cannot  acknowledge  that  good 
management  consists  in  doing  myself,  that  which  1  have  a 
right  to  expect  others  to  perform  for  me  ;  and,  therefore,  I 
shall  be  giving  myself  trouble,  and  expending  rny  time  to 
no  advantage,  if  I  do  that  for  which  I  *m  in  fact  keeping 
a  servant. 

MRS.  B. — An  experienced  and  confidential  housekeeper 
may  be  more  competent  than  her  mistress  to  market ;  but 
a  mere  cook  is  not  likely  to  be  equally  qualified  for  the 
task  ;  for,  if  she  were,  she  would  probably  not  long  con- 
tinue in  the  rank  of  a  lower  servant.  But  in  either  case 
how  are  you,  without  possessing  this  knowledge  yourself, 
to  judge  of  the  competency  of  others  to  undertake  the 
charge  ?  How,  too,  could  you  consent  to  be  thus  depend- 
ant on  a  member  of  your  family,  who  might  leave  you  at 
a  moment's  notice,  perhaps  at  the  mercy  of  one  more  igno- 
rant than  herself,  who  in  her  turn  might  very  easily  destroy 
your  comfort,  and  that  of  your  whole  household,  unless 
you  could  direct  and  instruct  her  ?  Believe  me,  that  in  all 
which  regards  the  supplies  of  provisions,  and  the  stocking 
of  your  store-room,  you  will  do  wisely  to  trust  only  to 
yourself.  Besides  the  inconveniences  and  waste  which 
must  accompany  your  cook's  want  of  skill  in  marketing, 
there  are  many  temptations  to  dishonesty,  which  seem  to 
beset  her  as  soon  as  she  appears  at  market.  Among  petty 
tradespeople,  the  custom  almost  generally  prevails  of 
giving  douceurs  to  servants,  in  order  to  secure  their  favour 
and  interest  with  those  whom  they  serve  ;  and  I  have  been 
told,  that  old  hackneyed  cooks  will  soon  discover  which  of 
the  tradespeople  around  them  are  likely  to  reward  them 
mpst  generously  for  carrying  custom  to  their  shops. 

MRS.  L. — This  temptation  must  be  ruinous  to  the  honesty 
of  a  servant ;  nor  can  the  principle  be  commended  which 


202  TKADESME^'S  BOOKS. 


prompts  the  tradesman  thus  to  allure  custom.  They  must, 
by  some  means,  reimburse  themselves  ;  and  one  can 
scarcely  doubt  but  that  they  add  something  proportionable 
to  the  price  of  their  different  commodities. 

MRS.  B.  —  Your  market-woman  has,  also,  the  power  of 
adding  to  the  price  of  those  things  she  has  herself  been 
charged  to  buy,  without  much  fear  of  discovery,  espe- 
cially if  she  does.it  prudently,  and  is  satisfied  with  very 
small  additions  at  one  time.  This  is  by  no  means  an  un- 
common practice  among  dishonest  servants  ;  and,  it  is  one 
which,  in  some  instances,  has  been  continued  for  years  un- 
detected. A  mortifying  circumstance  attending  this  species 
of  fraud  is,  that  the  injured  parties  can  never  ascertain  to 
what  degree  they  have  suffered  from  it,  nor  in  what  pro~ 
portion  their  expenditure  has  been  affected  by  it.  This 
could  not  have  happened,  had  they  been  in  the  habit  of 
occasionally  marketing  for  themselves.  By  this  means, 
they  would  have  known  the  usual  price  of  many  of  the 
common  articles  of  consumption  ;  and  been  enabled  to  de- 
tect, early,  such  fraudulent  practices.  When  these  have 
occurred,  I  do  not  know  which  party  may  be  considered 
as  the  greater  sufferer  of  the  two  :  —  whether  the  one  who 
has  encountered  temptations  which  she  has  found  too 
strong  to  resist,  and  which  have  led  her  on  almost  to  her 
undoing  ;  or  the  other  party,  who,  besides  the  injury  her 
property  has  sustained  from  the  dishonesty  of  her  servant, 
discovers  that  her  censurable  ignorance  has  prevented  her 
from  having  that  check  upon  the  conduct  of  her  servant, 
which,  in  the  moment  of  hesitation  between  right  and 
wrong,  might  have  given  the  impulse  in  favour  of  the 
former. 

It  is  a  good  plan,  and  serves  as  a  check  both  on  trades- 
people and  servants,  to  have  books  kept  in  the  kitchen,  in 
which  every  article  is  entered  that  is  brought  into  the 
house.  Each  tradesman,  such  as  the  butcher,  the  baker. 
Hie  green-grocer,  the  oil-man,  and  the  milkman,  should 


PURCHASE  OF  PROVISIONS.  203 

write  down  in  the  book  appropriated  to  him  the  quantity 
•of  the  commodity,  with  its  price,  which  has  just  been  de- 
livered ;  and  his  bill,  if  correct,  will  tally  with  the  con- 
tents of  this  book.  This  custom  must  be  a  satisfaction  to 
the  honest  dealer ;  and  it  is  the  best  method  of  preventing 
those  disputes  which  sometimes  arise  respecting  the  various 
items  in  tradesmen's  bills. 

Let  me  recommend  you  to  be  very  exact  in  examining 
and  settling  these  books  weekly ;  because  your  memory 
may  then  be  of  use  to  you,  and  will  assist  you  to  recollect 
all  the  articles  with  which  you  are  charged ;  or  to  rectify 
any  mistakes  that  may  have  occurred.  The  amount  of 
each  of  these  weekly  settlings  should,  afterwards,  be  en- 
tered in  your  housekeeping-book  :  a«d  at  the  end  of  every 
month,  this  housekeeping-book  should,  in  its  turn,  be  added 
up,  and  the  sum  total  entered  into  the  cash-book.  Thus 
your  housekeeping-book  shows  you  your  current  expenses 
for  each  week ;  and  the  cash-book  the  amount  of  the 
whole  monthly,  besides  including  every  other  expense  that 
occurs  to  you.  The  cash-book  should  be  balanced  every 
three  months;  by  which  you  will  not  fail  to  discover 
whether  you  are  keeping  within  bounds,  or  exceeding  the 
income  upon  which  you  propose  to  live. 

MRS.  L. — How  do  you  recommend  grocery,  and  other 
commodities,  which  are  not,  like  fish  or  meat,  of  a  perish- 
able nature,  to  be  purchased  ?  In  small  or  in  large  quan- 
tities? 

MRS.  B. — Grocery,  candles,  soap,  and  many  other 
things,  are  more  advantageously  purchased  in  large  quan- 
tities, and  from  wholesale  dealers,  than  by  buying  them  at 
retail  shops,  and  only  for  immediate  consumption.  Can- 
dles improve  by  keeping  for  a  few  months,  and  may  be 
kept  even  for  two  years  without  injury,  although  that  can- 
not be  said  to  improve  them.  Those  which  are  made  in 
cool  weather  are  the  best ;  and  some  people  are  careful 
not  to  lay  in  a  store  of  candles  at  the  time  of  the  year  in 


204  .          STOKES. 

which  they  suppose  lamb  fat  to  be  mixed  with  the  tallow, 
which  they  fancy  makes  the  candles  soft,  and  inclined  to 
run.  Before  you  lay  in  a  store  either  of  soap  or  of  can- 
dles, it  is  advisable  to  inquire  from  the  chandler,  who  will 
generally  be  able  to  tell  you,  whether  the  price  is  likely 
to  be  stationary. 

Sometimes  a  very  considerable  rise  takes  place  in  the 
price  of  these  articles,  in  consequence  of  the  circum- 
stances attending  the  importation  of  foreign  tallow  into 
this  country,  and  of  the  probability  of  this  rise,  the  dealer* 
in  them  generally  know  beforehand. 

SOAP,  which  also  improves  by  keeping,  should  be  pur- 
chased in  large  quantities,  and  cut  while  it  is  soft  into 
small  pieces,  each  of  which  should  not  exceed  half  a 
pound  in  weight.  It  should  be  kept  in  a  dry  and  mode- 
rately warm  place ;  and  the  original  stock  should  always 
be  kept  up  by  half-yearly  purchases,  so  that  no  soap  should 
be  in  use  which  has  not  been  six  months  in  your  posses- 
sion. By  such  a  practice  a  saving  of  at  least  twenty  per 
cent,  is  effected  on  this  article. 

Good  LOAF  SUGAR  is  very  bright  and  clean-looking,  with 
a  close,  heavy  grain.  A  porous  sugar  is  not  an  economical 
one ;  almost  double  the  quantity  that  is  necessary  of  a  hard 
close-grained  sugar  being  required  to  sweeten  any  thing 
with  it. 

MOIST  or  RAW  SUGAR  should  be  clear  and  sandy-looking, 
and  not  of  too  dark  a  colour.  A  dull,  heavy,  and  dirty- 
grained  sugar  is  not  economical ;  and,  besides  being  fulj 
of  molasses,  it  spoils  the  flavour  of  every  thing  that  15 
sweetened  with  it. 

RICE,  or  indeed  any  kind  of  seed,  should  not  be  bought 
•in  large  quantities,  because  an  insect  is  apt  to  breed  in  it ; 
to  prevent  which,  all  kinds  of  seed  should  be  kept  in 
earthen-ware  jars,  and  covered  from  the  air. 

CURRANTS  and  RAISINS  should  be  chosen  by  their  dry 
ind  clean  appearance ;  for,  when  they  are  clogged  to- 


DISTRIBUTION  OP  STORES.  205 

gether,  they  are  generally  full  of  dirt ;  and,  in  washing 
them,  you  seem  to  lose  almost  half. 

The  quality  of  TEA  is  according  to  its  price.  It  should 
not  be  very  small,  or  have  much  dust  in  it.  Tea  is  most 
economically  bought  by  the  chest ;  it  is  cheaper,  and  more 
likely  to  be  genuine  ;  besides,  something  is  gained  in  the 
weight,  from  what  is  termed  tare  and  tret. 

MRS.  L. — Do  you  recommend  me  to  keep  the  key  of 
the  store-room,  and  to  distribute  the  stores  as  they  are 
wanted  ?  Will  it  not  be  very  troublesome  and  annoying 
to  be  called  away  from  company,  or  to  be  interrupted  in 
my  favourite  employments,  to  give  out  a  little  sugar,  or  a 
pound  of  candles. 

MRS.  B. — Such  interruptions  would,  indeed,  be  trouble- 
some, and  if  you  were  subjected  to  them,  I  am  afraid  no 
argument  of  mine  would  induce  you  to  keep  the  key  of 
your  store-room  yourself:  but,  without  giving  it  in  charge 
to  a  servant,  who  may  be  deficient  in  frugal  notions,  if  not 
in  honesty,  and  whom  the  sight  of  abundance  would  be 
enough  to  render  prodigal,  I  think  you  may  so  arrange 
your  affairs,  that  you  may  distribute  the  stores,  and  yet 
enjoy  society,  and  write,  read,  or  draw,  free  from  inter- 
ruptions of  this  kind. 

My  excellent  friend,  Mrs.  T ,  a  lady  of  high 

accomplishments,  manages  her  large  family  of  servants 
without  a  housekeeper,  with  great  order ;  and,  in  respect 
to  the  distribution  of  the  stores,  her  rule  is,  that  every 
servant  who  wants  any  thing  from  the  store-room  shall  ask 
her  for  it,  during  her  morning  visit  to  the  kitchen;  when, 
with  her  keys  in  hand,  she  is  always  ready  to  attend  to 
their  requests.  If  they  omit,  from  forgetfulness,  to  make 
their  wants  known,  at  the  proper  time,  she  generally  re- 
fuses to  go  to  her  store-room  again  ;  and  thus  makes  them 
feel  the  inconvenience  of  their  thoughtlessness.  By  this 
regularity  on  her  part,  she  has  brought  her  servants  into 
similar  habits,  and  no  one  ever,  sees  her  house  a  scene  of 
18 


206  DISTRIBUTION  OF  STORES. 

confusion  and  hurry :  every  part  of  the  work  is  performed 
at  its  proper  season  ;  and  every  thing  is  to  be  found  in  its 
right  place,  ready  at  the  moment  it  is  wanted.  She  has* 
rarely,  occasion  to  trust  the  keys  of  her  store-room  into 
other  hands ;  thereby  sparing  her  servants  the  temptation 
to  injure  her.  Unless  a  lady,  in  becoming  her  own  house- 
keeper, resolve  to  be  thus  exact  and  regiilar  in  transacting 
that  part  of  the  business  of  her  family  which,  then,  neces- 
sarily devolves  upon  her,  nothing  will  go  on  well ;  and  no 
servants  either  can  or  will  give  her  satisfaction.  In  such 
a  case,  her  family  might  be  better  regulated  if  she  were 
to  give  up  a  part  of  her  responsibility;  such, for  instance, 
as  the  distribution  of  the  stores,  to  the  most  confidential 
person  about  her ;  but  by  doing  this,  she  renders  herself 
liable  to  be  imposed  upon,  and  relinquishes  the  opportu- 
nity of  acquiring  a  correct  knowledge  respecting  the  ac- 
tual quantity  of  each  article  which  her  family  must  neces- 
sarily consume  ;  a  knowledge  which  enables  her  to  detect 
imposition  whenever  it  occurs. 

People  of  high  rank  are  frequently  imposed  i:pon  ;  and 
their  property  often  suffers  much  from  the  dishonesty  of 
their  dependants.  Their  habits  do  not  lead  them  to  pay 
minute  attention  to  the  economy  of  their  households,  or  to 
check,  by  a  strict  investigation  of  their  household  expen- 
diture, the  extravagant  and  dishonest  propensities  of  their 
servants.  1  remember  hearing  of  a  married  couple,  who 
lived  together  for  many  years  in  a  noble  family,  as  butler 
and  housekeeper,  and  who  carried  on  their  peculations  in 
concert,  to  such  an  extent,  that  the  loss  to  their  employers 
could  not  be  calculated  at  less  than  Ihree  hundred  a  year; 
and  their  practices  were  known  to  have  been  carried  on 
for  many  years,  so  that  it  was  hardly  possible  to  say  to 
what  extent  this  robbery  had  proceeded. 

MRS.  L. — Such  circumstances  when  brought  to  light 
seem  to  do  no  one  good,  and  only  encourage  that  distrust 
and  suspicion  which  are,  too  constantly,  at  work  in  our 


DISTRIBUTION?  OF  STORES.  207 

pecuniary  transactions  with  our  fellow-creatures.  It  is 
very  mortifying  that  such  unamiable  feelings  are  requisite 
as  weapons  of  self-defence. 

MRS.  B. — But  they  should  be  employed  only  as  weapons 
of  self-defence,  and  not  be  permitted  to  wound  the  feelings 
of  any  individual,  whether  servant  or  tradesman,  until 
there  are  grounds  upon  which  distrust  must  rest.  I  am 
convinced  that  suspicion,  when  frequently  in  action,  does 
not  prove  more  injurious  to  happiness,  than  to  integrity  of 
mind ;  and  that  the  person  who  finds  himself  an  object 
of  constant  distrust,  will  lose  some  portion  of  his  honesty. 
How  miserable  is  the  state  of  that  mind  which  indulges 
so  unhappy  a  feeling.  I  knew  a  lady  formerly,  who, 
during  her  life,  might  be  thought  to  anticipate  the  torments 
of  another  world,  by  the  evident  state  of  perplexity  and 
uneasiness  to  which  her  suspicious  temper  had  brought 
her.  She  never  had,  according  to  her  own  account,  an 
honest  servant ;  and,  to  say  the  truth,  her  domestics,  more 
frequently  from  the  low  desire  to  outwit  her  than  from 
dishonest  propensities,  often  afforded  her  cause  for  dis- 
quietude and  vexation. 

Another  lady,  whom  I  knew,  had  the  satisfaction  to  cor- 
rect entirely  the  inclination  to  dishonesty  which  she  dis- 
covered in  a  young  female  servant,  by  herself  showing  a 
spirit  quite  the  reverse  of  that  which  I  have  just  men- 
tioned. Upon  discovering  a  theft,  which  this  young 
woman  had  committed,  she  threatened  to  part  with  her 
instantly ;  but,  upon  examination,  rinding  that  she  was 
friendless,  and  that,  if  reduced  to  extremity,  she  might 
be  tempted  to  do  worse,  the  lady  resolved  to  retain  her 
in  her  service,  and  afford  her  the  means  of  redeeming  her 
character.  Her  chief  objection  to  this  measure  arose  from 
the  state  of  suspicion  in  which  this  act  of  lenity  would 
involve  her,  and  which  she  was  aware  would  neither  be 
beneficial  to  the  young  woman,  nor  pleasant  to  herself. 
She  told  the  young  woman  that  her  suspicions  might  in- 


208  DISTRIBUTION  OF  STORES. 

crease  caution  on  her  part,  but  would  not  be  likely  to 
reform  her ;  and  she  added,  "  I  wish  I  could  devise  means 
to  banish  it  from  my  mind,  and  to  restore  to  you  that  share 
in  my  confidence  of  which  you  have,  so  unhappily,  de- 
prived yourself.  Can  you  venture  to  rely  sufficiently  on 
yourself,  so  as  to  give  me  your  solemn  promise,  that  in  no 
future  instance  you  will  betray  the  trust  reposed  in  you  ? 
If  you  can  do  this,  I  will  strive  to  forget  your  misdemean- 
our, and  by  neither  word  nor  action  of  mine  shall  you  be 
reminded  of  it,  unless  you  yourself  give  occasion  to  it." 
This  promise  was  gratefully  and  fervently  made  ;  and  the 
lady  was,  deservedly,  rewarded  by  several  years  of 
faithful  service  from  her  reclaimed  servant,  who  afterwards 
left  her  to  be  married ;  but  who  continued  always  to  evince 
her  steady  attachment  and  gratitude  to  her  mistress  by 
every  means  in  her  power. 

It  is,  perhaps,  true,  that  this  mild  treatment  would  prove 
an  effectual  remedy  only  in  the  first  steps  of  sin.  Medicine 
of  more  potent  effect  must  be  tried  for  old  offenders  ;  but, 
it  certainly  would  afford  peculiar  gratification  to  a  humane 
mind,  to  believe  that  it  could  be  the  means  of  reclaiming, 
by  gentle  measures,  a  fellow-creature  from  any  immorality 
of  conduct ;  and  this  gratification  almost  every  female  head 
of  a  family  might  enjoy,  at  least  once  in  her  life,  if,  in- 
stead of  indulging  angry  feelings  at  the  misconduct  of  her 
dependants,  and  seeking  to  punish  them,  she  were  to  study 
to  reclaim  them.  But,  we  have  made  a  long  digression 
from  the  topic  upon  which  we  were  engaged.  I  think  I 
have  said  enough  of  the  advantages  of  distributing  the 
stores  yourself. 

MRS.  L. — Does  not  a  housekeeper  consider  this  as  a 
part  of  her  employment :  and  how  is  she  to  be  restrained 
from  the  indulgence  either  of  extravagance  or  of  dis- 
honesty, in  fulfilling  this  part  of  her  duty? 

MRS.  B.—  I  can  recommend  no  better  plan  than  to  ex- 
amine and  settle  her  accounts  regularly ;  and  to  make  her 


DISTRIBUTION  OF  STORES.  203 

explain  to  your  satisfaction  any  occasional  increase  of  ex- 
penditure, which,  if  you  do  not  thus  notice,  will  most  pro- 
bably occur  again,  and  in  a  two-fold  degree. 

MRS.  L. — Do  you  recommend  confectionary  to  be  pre- 
pared at  home,  or  to  be  purchased  from  the  confectioner  ? 

MRS.  B. — If  your  style  of  living  do  not  require  you  to 
keep  a  first-rate  cook,  and  if  your  dinner-parties  be  not 
frequent,  you  will  find  it  more  desirable  to  purchase  con- 
fectionary, than  to  endeavour  to  prepare  it  at  home.  It  is 
very  expensive  in  either  case  ;  but,  in  the  former,  you  feel 
assured  of  having  it  well  made,  and  without  any  trouble 
to  yourself,  or  loss  of  time  to  your  servants.  Many  of 
these  ornamental  parts  of  a  dinner  require  much  time  and 
attention,  often  for  several  days,  previous  to  their  accom- 
plishment ;  and  it  is  mortifying  if,  after  all  the  trouble  and 
expense  attending  them,  they  betray  the  workmanship  of 
an  awkward  hand.  For  the  same  reason,  the  finest  kinds 
of  preserves  and  dried  fruits  are  better  purchased  as  oc- 
casions demand  them  than  made  at  home,  unless  under  the 
superintendence  of  a  housekeeper  or  a  professed  cook. 

Common  preserves,*  such  as  raspberries,  currants,  and 
gooseberries,  may  be  easily  made  at  home,  the  process 
being  simple  ;  and,  unless  attended  by  very  great  care- 
lessness, the  result  is  sure  to  be  satisfactory.  Preserves, 
even  of  the  most  common  kind,  are  very  expensive  when 
bought :  the  confectioner  asks  six  shillings  for  a  pound  of 
raspberry  or  currant  jam,  and  twelve  shillings  for  the  same 
quantity  of  apricot,  strawberry,  and  pine-apple.  Now, 
supposing  you  have  to  purchase  the  fruit  at  a  dear  rate, 
you  will  still  find  it  economical  to  have  the  common  kinds 

*  Strawberries,  currants,  gooseberries,  blackberries,  and  raspberries,  are 
early  fruits,  and  are,  in  New- York,  converted  into  preserves  or  jellies,  or  made 
into  wines,  for  summer  use. 

The  fruits  for  winter  preserves  are  plumbs,  peaches,  and  quinces,  which  are 
best  and  cheapest  when  made  at  home  by  the  mistress  of  a  family. 

Young  cucumbers  make  the  best  pickles ;  but  for  a  change  and  variety, 
walnuts,  mangoes,  beans,  beets,  and  red  cabbage,  are  used.         dmer.  JErf. 
18* 


210  WINE-CELLAK. 

of  preserves  made  at  home.  You  may,  even  in  London, 
purchase  strawberries,  raspberries,  currants,  and  gooseber- 
ries, upon  an  average,  at  sixpence  per  quart.  A  quart  and 
a  half  will  not,  perhaps,  when  boiled,  produce  more  than  a 
pound  of  preserve,  so  much  being  wasted  in  the  boiling : 
but  if  we  calculate  that  for  a  pound  of  jam,  the  fruit  costs 
sixpence,  the  sugar  a  shilling,  and  the  jar  which  is  to  con- 
tain it  threepence,  there  will  be  no  less  a  difference  than 
four  shillings  and  threepence,  between  a  pound  of  the  con- 
fectioner's and  of  home-made  preserves.  With  a  tolerably 
careful  cook,  and  your  own  superintendence,  there  is  no 
great  risk  of  spoiling  them  in  the  boiling  ;  and  it  is  always 
a  satisfaction  to  know  how  both  pickles  and  preserves  are 
made  ;  and  to  feel  assured  that  the  vessels  in  which  they 
have  been  boiled  were  clean  and  in  good  order.  The 
chief  point  to  be  attended  to  in  preserving  fruit  is  to  boil 
it  slowly,  and  cooks  are  not  always  willing  to  do  this,  be- 
cause it  lengthens  the  time  required  for  the  process,  and 
exposes  them  to  considerable  inconvenience  from  heat. 

MRS.  L. — The  management  of  the  wine-cellar  does  not 
often  belong  to  the  superintendence  of  women  ;  but,  as  it 
is  not  desirable  for  them  to  be  ignorant  of  any  thing  which 
may,  perhaps,  come  under  their  care,  I  will  not  scruple  to 
beg  for  any  information  you  can  give  me  on  this  subject. 
What  is  considered  as  the  best  kind  of  wine-cellar? 

MRS.  B. — One  which,  from  its  situation,  is  veiy  little 
liable  to  undergo  any  change  of  temperature,  from  the 
variations  of  heat  and  cold  externally,  or  to  be  affected  by 
a  damp  atmosphere.  I  have  understood  that  a  cellar  with- 
out windows,  or  with  windows  closely  shut,  and  being  well 
cased  and  floored  with  bricks,  keeps  the  wine  in  a  more 
equal  temperature  than  a  stone  cellar.  The  cellar  should 
be  furnished  with  brick-binns  and  catacombs,  to  each  of 
which  a  hook  should  be  attached,  on  which  is  hung  the 
label  importing  the  kind  and  the  age  of  the  wine.  A 
piece  of  chalk  should  lie  near  the  port-wine  binns,  to  mark 


WINE-CELLAH.  211 

the  side  upon  which  the  wine  has  been  laid,  that  it  may  not 
be  turned  on  the  opposite  side  before  it  is  decanted  ;  for 
when,  by  accident  or  carelessness,  port-wine  has  been 
turned  over  from  one  side  to  the  other,  some  of  the  in- 
crustation of  tartar  with  which  the  bottle  is  lined,  will 
break  off  and  render  the  wine  turbid. 

In  the  choice  of  wines,  it  is  impossible  for  me  to  direct 
you,  nor  is  it  necessary.  To  possess  the  skill  of  a  con- 
noisseur in  deciding*  upon  the  various  flavours  of  wines, 
their  strength  and  body,  is  not  desirable  for  a  female  ;  and 
such  a  talent  does  not,  I  hope,  owe  its  birth  and  education 
to  any  feminine  propensity.  What  credit  you  may  derive 
from  the  superior  merits  of  your  wine,  will  not,  I  am  sure, 
be  obtained  by  your  own  skill  and  judgment  in  their  choice : 
— for  that  you  must  depend  upon  others. 

If  the  key  of  the  wine-cellar  remain  always  in  your  own 
possession,  and  you  undertake  to  give  out  the  supplies 
when  required,  you  should  keep  a  cellar-book  ;  for,  as  it 
may  be  necessary  to  look  out  several  bottles  of  various 
kinds  of  wine  at  a  time,  you  should  keep  a  memorandum, 
that  you  may  discover  any  defalcation,  should  such  occur, 
after  it  has  been  intrusted  to  the  care  of  the  servant. 
Some  gentlemen  prefer  to  decant  their  own  wines,  and  will 
scarcely  suffer  a  servant  to  touch  the  bottles.  When  this 
is  the  case,  there  is  less  danger  of  its  being  used  impro- 
perly, as  most  gentlemen  would  readily  recollect  the  num. 
ber  of  bottles  uncorked,  and  the  quantity  used  at  table. 
Wine,  from  its  expensiveness,  and  the  great  value  set  upon 
it,  offers  a  perpetual  temptation  to  dishonesty  among  our 
servants,  and  is  a  constant  source  of  suspicion  to  ourselves : 
and  our  vigilance,  in  guarding  the  treasure,  seems  but  to 
increase  their  desire  to  enjoy  it.  I  am  afraid  the  present 
state  of  things  affords  no  remedy  for  this  evil.  What  can 
be  procured  only  by  the  affluent  is  sure  to  be  coveted  by 
the  poor. 

MRS.  L, — Wines  are  sometimes  made  from  the  fruits  of 


212  WINE-CELLAB. 

this  country ;  and  I  believe  Doctor  Macculloch  has  pub- 
lished an  excellent  treatise  on  the  subject  of  wine-inaking, 
by  which  any  one  may  be  instructed  how  to  conduct  the 
process ;  but  I  have  heard,  that  frequently  excellent  home- 
made wines  are  spoiled  by  improper  methods  being  taken 
to  preserve  them : — can  you  give  any  information  on  the 
art  of  keeping  wine  ? 

MRS.  B  — This  is  certainly  a  subject  of  some  importance 
should  you  ever  reside  in  the  country.  In  giving  you  all 
the  information  upon  it  of  which  I  am  mistress,  I  must  sup- 
pose that  you  are  already  acquainted  with  wine-making, 
and  are  aware,  that,  although  by  the  first  fermentation,  the 
constituents  of  the  juice  of  whatever  fruit  is  employed  are 
partially  decomposed,  and  that  that  juice  is  rendered  vinous, 
and  converted  into  spirit  or  alcohol ;  yet,  that  an  insensi- 
ble fermentation  continues  afterwards,  by  which  new  com- 
binations are  formed,  which  resist  further  decomposition, 
Whatever  tends  to  renew  the  original  fermentation,  contri- 
butes to  spoil  the  wine  by  rendering  it  acescent ;  thence, 
in  spring,  when  there  is  a  transition  from  cold  to  heat,  and 
in  autumn,  when  the  variations  of  temperature  are  frequent 
and  sudden,  wine  is  apt  to  ferment,  an  effect  arising  partly 
from  the  corresponding  expansion  in  the  body  of  the  liquor 
which  these  changes  occasion.  The  first  object,  therefore, 
to  which  we  must  attend  in  the  keeping  of  wines,  is  to 
have  a  cellar  of  such  a  depth,  and  in  such  a  situation,  thai 
it  will  not  be  affected  by  these  transitions  ;  and  probably 
the  best  place  for  this  is  under  the  centre  of  the  house. 
Air  in  the  casks,  and  the  presence  of  the  lees,  also  contri- 
bute to  the  renewal  of  the  fermentation ;  you  should, 
therefore,  order  your  home-made  wine  to  be  racked  off 
into  clean-casks,  at  least  twice  in  the  year,  at  the  equinoxes, 
for  two  successive  years,  and  have  it  fined  after  each  rack- 
ing. The  addition  of  brandy  in  making  wine,  favours  the 
renewal  of  the  primary  fermentation  ;  and  it,  also,  destroys 
the  aroma  and  flavour  of  the  wine,  which  are  the  qualities 


WINE-CELLAR.  213 

for  which  all  wine  is  justly  prized.  The  size  of  the  casks 
is,  also,  a  matter  of  some  importance  ;  for  experience  has 
proved,  that  wines  of  a  strong  and  full  body,  such  as  port, 
which  contain  much  tartar,  and  mucilaginous  extractive 
matter,  are  most  effectually  mellowed  and  preserved  iu 
large  casks ;  while  the  finer  and  lighter  wines,  such  as  the 
French  white  wines,  improve  most  in  vessels  of  a  mode- 
rate capacity. 

Wines  should  never  be  bottled  until  after  the  whole  of 
the  free,  mucilaginous,  extractive  matter,  and  the  greater 
part  of  the  tartar  which  they  contain,  have  been  deposited  ; 
and  they  have  become  so  clear  as  to  require  no  fining  im- 
mediately before  the  process  of  bottling.  When  they  are 
bottled,  they  should  be  deposited  in  a  cellar  as  little  affected 
by  the  temperature  of  the  air  and  external  circumstances, 
as  that  in  which  they  have  been  kept  while  in  the  cask. 
The  goodness  of  the  corks,  also,  is  a  matter  of  the  first 
importance  in  bottling  wine ;  and  no  economy  is  so  mis- 
placed as  that  which  would  lead  to  save  money  on  this 
article.  For  some  wines,  however,  which  have  been 
made  .with  very  ripe  and  good  fruit,  but  are  nevertheless 
rather  thin,  it  is  preferable  to  tie  damp  bladders  over  the 
mouths  of  the  bottles  than  to  cork  them,  placing  the  bot- 
tles, of  course,  on  end.  By  this  operation,  a  portion  of 
the  aqueous  part  of  the  fluid  escapes  through  the  bladder, 
while  the  spirit,  being  retained,  bears  a  more  equal  pro- 
portion to  the  water  than  was  originally  the  case ;  the 
flavour  of  the  wine  becomes  more  mellow,  and  the  fragrancy 
of  the  aroma  more  perceptible.  Some  diminution,  un- 
doubtedly, takes  place  in  the  quantity  of  the  fluid ;  but, 
from  a  trial  made  by  the  author  of  "  The  History  of  An* 
cient  and  Modern  Wines,"  from  the  perusal  of  whose 
excellent  works  I  have  culled  the  greater  part  of  my 
information  on  this  subject,  it  would  appear,  that  the  loss 
is  comparatively  trifling.  I  will  read  you  the  passage. 
"  Some  Rhenish  wine  which  has  now  been  undergoing1 


214 

the  operation  for  six  years,  in  common  quart  bottles,  shows 
a  diminution  of  about  three  ounces  in  each  bottle.  The 
specific  gravity  of  the  residue  is  augmented  ;  and  the 
increased  quantity  of  acid  and  spirit  bears  a  very  exact 
relation  to  the  quantity  of  water  that  has  disappeared. 
On  comparing  this  wine  with  some  of  the  same  vintage, 
which  had  remained  in  corked  bottles,  its  flavour  and 
aroma  had  become  so  much  more  mellow  and  fragrant, 
that  I  had  some  difficulty  in  persuading  myself  of  the 
original  similarity  of  the  two  samples."* 

Many  objections  have  been  preferred  to  home-made 
wines ;  but,  were  the  process  of  making  them  properly 
conducted ;  were  they  not  adulterated  with  brandy ;  were 
they  carefully  attended  to  while  they  remain  in  the  wood  ; 
and  were  they  bottled  at  a  due  period,  and  not  drank  too 
soon  after  they  are  bottled,  I  believe  that  some  of  them 
would  be  tound  equal,  if  not  superior,  in  flavour  and  other 
good  qualities,  to  many  of  the  continental  wines,  at  least 
such  as  are  imported  into  this  country.  My  good  old 

friend,  Mrs.  H ,  has  some  grape  wine  which  was 

made,  about  eighteen  years  since,  from  sweet-water  grapes, 
grown  in  the  open  air,  and  which  were  extremely  well 
ripened  that  season ;  and  I  assure  you,  that  excellent  judges 
admit,  that  it  is  not  inferior  to  the  best  Rhenish  which  they 
have  met  with  in  England.  I  once  tasted  some  white 
currant  wine  which  had  been  four  years  in  bottle,  and 
was  equal  to  the  best  vin  de  grave ;  and  I  know  no  reason 
why  wine  carefully  made  in  England  of  good  raisins,  and 
properly  kept,  should  be  inferior  to  the  sweet  wine  made 
from  the  same  grape,  in  its  dried  state,  in  the  country 
where  it  grows. 

MRS.  L.— What  kind  of  room  is  best  adapted  to  preserve 
fruit  for  winter  use  ;  such  as  stores  of  apples,  pears,  and 
nuts,  of  different  kinds  ? 

'*  History  of  Ancient  and  Modern  Wines,  4to.  Lond.  1834.  p.  338. 


FRUIT-ROOM.  216 

MRS.  B. — If  your  establishment  be  large,  and  the  house 
you  occupy  permit  it,  you  should  have  both  a  fruit  and 
root  cellar,  and  a  fruit-room.  In  both  the  temperature 
should  be  low  (between  32°  and  40°  Fah.),  and  always  as 
nearly  of  the  same  degree  as  possible. 

The  cellar,  as  I  have  already  said  of  your  wine-cellar, 
should  be  partly  below  the  ground,  and  have  double  or 
treble  sashes  to  the  windows,  which  should  be  small ;  and 
a  double  door.  It  should  be  fitted  with  cells  or  binns  like 
a  wine  cellar,  and  also  have  a  pit  and  divisions  on  the 
floor,  which  should  be  partially  filled  with  sand. 

The  fruit-room  should  be  boarded,  and  very  dry.  An 
airy  room  is  desirable,  but  it  should  have  double  sashes  in 
the  windows,  and  double  outer  doors,  both  of  which  should 
be  closed  in  damp  or  frosty  weather.  The  room  should 
be  fitted  up  with  shelves  made  of  spars,  which  should  be 
spread  ovci  with  reeds,  or  very  large  clean  straw,  and  be- 
neath should  be  drawers  with  double  bottoms,  also  made  of 
spars. 

There  are  various  methods  of  preserving  fruit.  Pears 
and  apples,  the  most  useful  fruit  in  a  family,  are  best  pre- 
served in  glazed,  cylindrical,  earthen  vessels,  large  enough 
to  contain  a  gallon,  and  closely  fitted  with  covers.  One 
kind  of  apple  or  of  pear  only  should  be  put  into  the  same 
jar,  -which  should  be  labelled,  to  prevent  the  necessity  of 
opening  it  to  ascertain  the  kind  of  fruit  it  contains.  Each 
apple  or  pear  should  be  wiped  dry,  then  rolled  in  soft, 
bibulous,  or  spongy  paper,  and  placed  carefully  in  the  ja& 
on  which,  when  it  is  full,  the  cover  should  be  cemented, 
by  means  of  a  cement  composed  of  two  parts  of  the  curd 
of  skimmed  milk  and  one  of  lime.  These  jars  may  be 
kept  either  in  the  cellar  or  the  room  ;  but  the  former  is 
the  preferable  situation.  Pears  thus  preserved,  will  keep 
until  February  and  March  ;  but  they  should  be  taken  from 
the  jars  about  ten  days  before  they  are  wanted  for  the 
table,  and  placed  on  the  shelves  of  the  fruit-room,  and 


216  FRUIT-ROOM. 

ultimately  removed  into  a  warmer  room  for  the  last  three 
days.  • 

Baking-apples,  after  they  have  been  gathered  a  few 
days,  and  have,  as  the  gardener  would  say,  perspired, 
should  be  wiped  and  laid  on  a  dry  floor  or  shelf,  and 
covered  over  with  a  linen  cloth,  which  secures  them  from 
damp  and  frost  A  woollen  cloth  will  not  answer  the  same 
purpose ;  and  straw,  which  is  commonly  placed  over  them, 
gives  them  a  musty  and  disagreeable  taste.  Baking  pears 
may  be  kept  in  the  same  manner ;  but  when  they  are  of 
a  large  kind,  with  a  strong  stalk,  they  keep  much  better 
if  they  are  tied  to  a  string  across  the  ceiling.  Apples  and 
pears  for  baking  may  be  also  preserved  in  hampers  or 
baskets  lined  with  thick  paper  ;*  and  when  this  method  is 
adopted,  the  fruit  should  not  be  allowed  to  perspire,  but 
be  carried  directly  from  the  tree,  and  packed,  carefully 
avoiding  all  sorts  of  bruising,  and  rejecting  every  bruised 
fruit.  One  sort  of  fruit  only  should  be  put  into  each  ham- 
per, which  should  be  labelled.  Bunches  of  grapes  may 
be  preserved  for  some  time  in  jars  ;  but  each  bunch  should 
be  wrapped  up  in  soft  paper,  and  every  layer  of  these 
bunches  in  the  jar  co\  ered  with  well  dried  bran.  The 
mouth  of  the  jar  should  be  covered  with  a  bladder,  or  the 
lid  be  cemented  on  in  the  manner  already  described. 
But  the  best  method  of  preserving  grapes,  is  to  gather  the 
bunches  on  the  branch  to  which  they  are  attached,  which 
should  be  cut  abo  <  six  inches  from  the  bunch,  and  have 
both  ends  of  it  sealed  with  common  seafing-wax.  These 
should  then  be  hung  across  lines  in  the  fruit-room,  taking 
care,  occasionally,  to  examine  them,  and  clip  out,  with  a 
pair  of  scissors,  any  berries  that  appear  mouldy.  If  grapes 
which  are  not  over-ripe  be  preserved  in  this  manner,  they 
will  keep  until  February.  Other  and  more  delicate  fruits 
may  also  be  preserved  by  wiping  them  dry  to  clear  away 

*  Apples  are  preserved  in  barrels,  and  kept  in  rooms  where  they  will  not 
freeze 


COOKERY-BOOKS.  2  I  7 

the  moisture  which  they  yield  after  gathering,  and  then 
placing  them  in  earthen  jars,  and  covering  them  with  layers 
of  dry  sand  of  about  an  inch  in  thickness.  Each  jar  should 
be  well  filled,  closed  with  cement,  and  placed  in  the  fruit- 
room  or  a  cool  place,  but  where  it  cannot  be  affected  by 
frost.  When  fruit  has  been  frost-bitten,  it  should  be  put 
iuto  cold  vater,  which  will  recover  it,  if  it  be  suffered  to 
remain  in  it  a  sufficient  time.  Walnuts  and  filberts  may 
be  preserved  in  jars  with  the  covers  cemented  to  keep  out 
the  air.* 

MRS.  L. — You  mentioned  roots.  How  are  these  to  be 
kept  for  the  winter's  supply  ? 

MRS.  B. — Onions  and  bulbs  should  be  laid  loosely  on 
>  he  shelves  of  the  fruit-cellar ;  potatoes  should  be  buried 
in  a  pit  sunk  at  the  bottom  of  the  cellar,  and  covered  over 
with  dry  sand  ;  and  turnips  and  carrots  laid  in  the  divisions 
at  the  bottom  of  the  cellar,  and  covered  with  sand.  Cab- 
bages, endive,  lettuces,  and  similar  plants,  also,  may  be 
preserved  throughout  the  winter,  in  a  state  fit  for  use,  if 
they  be  taken  out  of  the  ground  with  their  main  roots 
entire,  in  perfectly  dry  weather,  at  the  end  of  the  season, 
and  partially  immersed  in  dry  sand.  If  these  and  the 
potatoes  be  not  put  into  the  fruit-cellar,  which  might  be 
inconvenient,  they  should  be  kept  in  a  close  dry  cellar,  of 
an  ice-cold  temperature.! 

/  must  now  ask  you  one  question.  Have  you  provided 
yourself  with  a  cookery-book  ? 

MRS.  L. — Certainly.  I  have  purchased  Mrs.  Rundle's 
and  the  Cook's  Oracle.  How  could  I  go  on  for  one  day 
without  them?  Yet  my  study  of  these  important  books 
is  not  always  satisfactory,  nor  are  the  effects  produced 
from  them  at  all  equal  to  my  expectations.  Sometimes  a 

»  These  nuts,  if  perfectly  ripe  and  dry,  require  nothing  more  than  to  be  put 
into  barrels,  as  the  air  will  not  hurt  or  rot  them. 

t  Much  information  on  the  subject  of  gathering  and  preserving  vegetable* 
and  fruit  will  be  found  in  London's  Encyclop&dia  of  Gardening. 
19 


2 1 8  COOKERY-BOOKS, 

dish  far  too  rich  is  the  result ;  and  at  other  times  I  have 
to  complain  of  defects  completely  opposite,  and  yet  my 
cook  informs  me  that  the  receipts  are  strictly  followed. 

MRS.  B. — Your  experience  will  in  time  rectify  this  in- 
convenience ;  and  you  will  find,  that,  by  taking  the  medium 
of  most  receipts,  you  will  avoid  it.  Good  and  well- 
flavoured  dishes  must  be  formed  of  good  materials,  and 
in  sufficient  quantity :  but  it  is  not  necessary  to  have  this 
principle  carried  to  an  extreme  ;  and,  as  it  is  not  well  al- 
ways to  follow  these  receipt-books  implicitly,  I  recommend 
you  to  form  one  for  yourself,  of  such  receipts  as  you  have 
found  it  expedient  to  modify,  and  which  may  be  done  ad- 
vantageously, as  your  own  experience  shall  prove  to  you. 
I  like  to  have  a  book  of  this  kind  at  hand,  in  which  I  can 
insert  any  useful  hints  I  may  occasionally  gather  in  con- 
versing with  others,  or  by  my  own  observations.  The 
various  concerns  of  the  day  would  soon  make  me  forget 
them,  if  I  did  not  thus  record  them  in  my  little  book. 
Besides  receipts  and  directions  in  household  affairs,  such 
a  book  may  contain  many  useful  hints  and  remarks  respect' 
ing  that  part  of  the  management  of  an  illness  which  does 
not  belong  to  the  province  of  the  medical  attendant :  such 
as  modes  to  prevent  infection ;  receipts  for  various  pleasant 
beverages ;  methods  of  making  and  applying  fomentations ; 
and  remarks  upon  many  other  things,  which  at  the  first 
view  may  appear  trivial,  but  which  become  important 
when  they  enable  any  one  to  add  to  the  comfort  or  to  alle- 
viate the  pains  of  an  invalid.  But  it  is  time  to  separate  ; 
and  I  must  now,  for  the  present,  say  farewell. 


219 


CONVERSATION  VI. 

HEALTH  AND  DISEASE. — MANAGEMENT  OF  EVERY  BRANCH 
OF  THE  FAMILY,  IN  ORDER  TO  MAINTAIN  THE  FORMER. — 
PERSONAL  SICKNESS. — SICKNESS  OF  HUSBAND — OF  CHIL- 
DREN— OF  SERVANTS. — PRECAUTIONS  IN  CONTAGIONS.— 
INFECTIOUS  AND  CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES. — MEDICAL  AT- 
TENDANTS.— SICK  NURSES. — COOKERY  OF  THE  SICKROOM. 

PREPARATIONS     FOR    THE   LYING-IN   ROOM — MONTHLY 

NURSES. — MANAGEMENT    OF    A    CHILD   IN  THE   MONTH. — 
REMARKS  ON  VACCINATION. 

.  , 

MRS.  B. — The  best  means  of  preserving  health  (as  far 
as  human  means  can  prevail),  is  the  subject  to  which  I 
wish  now  to  draw  your  attention.  It  has  been  truly  said, 
that  none  can  appreciate  the  blessing  of  health  until  they 
have  experienced  its  loss  ;  and  then  only  do  they  sincerely 
acknowledge  that  no  other  good,  such  as  rank,  power, 
beauty,  or  wealth,  can  stand  in  competition  with  it.  Yet. 
not  even  this  conviction  has  strength  sufficient  to  prevent 
the  almost  constant  sacrifice  of  health  to  some  lesser  good. 
Thus  we  see  many  rapidly  expending  their  strength  in  the 
pursuit  of  riches,  or  in  the  attainment  of  rank  and  power ; 
and  when  acquired,  and  they  find  themselves  at  the  point 
they  desired  to  attain,  they  discover  also,  that  the  power 
of  enjoyment  has  not  accompanied  these  blessings  ;  thus, 
faltering  limbs  receive  no  vigour  from  a  bed  of  down,  and 
thus  the  choicest  viands  want  the  relish  which  unimpaired 
digestion  alone  can  bestow.  How  many  would  gladly  re- 
sign the  product  of  all  their  toils  and  cares,  could  they 
exchange  it  for  a  portion  of  that  health  and  vigour  with 
which  they  set  out  in  life !  Health  is  the  gift  of  God ; 
yet  how  willing  we  are  to  barter  it,  and  what  exertions  do 


220  PRESERVING  HEALTH. 

we  daily  make  to  drive  it  from  us,  and  to  substitute  in  its 
place  the  flimsy  gifts  this  world  can  give  us !  Whatever 
God  has  bestowed  upon  us  it  is  our  duty  to  employ 
worthily.  Gratitude  to  Him,  and  our  own  interest,  both 
demand  it.  Overstrained  exertions  and  application  may 
bring  wealth  into  a  family,  but,  if  it  bring  disease  also, 
what  happiness  or  real  good  can  accompany  it?  It  is 
rarely  that  a  diseased  body  does  not  also  cause  a  mind  to 
be  distempered  in  some  degree  or  other,  especially  when 
the  disease  is  produced  by  the  sacrifice  of  a  great  for  a 
comparatively  trifling  good.  Selfishness,  unreasonable  ex- 
pectations and  desires,  disappointed  hopes,  having  their 
origin  from  this  source,  have  imbittered  the  happiness  of 
many  a  domestic  circle,  and  have  had  an  injurious  effect 
upon  the  character  of  every  one  of  its  members.  Accord- 
ing to  the  disposition  of  each,  some  defect  has  been  en- 
gendered :  dissimulation  in  one,  and  ill-humour  and  discon- 
tent in  others.  A  father  thus  abandoning  himself  to  the 
pursuit  of  wealth  or  distinction,  and  giving  up  the  only 
enjoyment  which  could  render  his  acquisitions  valuable  to 
himself,  introduces  evils  in  his  family  for  which  nothing  can 
compensate.  A  mother,  too,  if,  in  seeking  for  amusement, 
loses  her  health,  and  thereby  unfits  herself  for  the  per- 
formance of  her  domestic  duties,  is  even  more  censurable, 
inasmuch  as  the  object  she  pursues  terminates  in  a  tempo- 
rary and  fruitless  gratification  of  self:  nor  is  there  much 
difference  between  the  woman  who,  wilfully,  and  without 
cause,  neglects  to  fulfil  her  duties,  and  the  one  who,  by 
folly  and  imprudence,  deprives  herself  of  the  power  of 
doing  them.  The  effects  are  the  same. 

MRS.  L. — But,  my  dear  madam,  carelessness  and  im- 
prudence in  regard  to  health  appear  to  me  to  be  minor 
defects,  or,  at  feast,  to  be  less  annoying,  than  those  pro- 
duced by  over  solicitude.  I  have  known  some  people  in 
a  constant  state  of  anxiety  about  themselves,  and  suffering 
HO  one  near  them  to  be  at  ease.  At  every  varying  sensa- 


PRESERVING   HEALTH.  22! 

tion,  they  anticipated  the  commencement  of  some  dire 
disease,  which  they  racked  themselves  and  all  their  re- 
latives with  the  anxious  desire  to  obviate.  One  poor  un- 
happy lady  1  have  heard  of,  seldom  fancied  herself  to 
have  less  than  three  mortal  diseases  upon  her  at  one  time, 
any  one  of  which,  had  she  really  been  afflicted  with  it, 
would  shortly  have  terminated  her  life  ;  and  yet  she  lived 
many  years,  but  without  imparting  or  receiving  happiness. 
Indeed,  I  think  you  should  more  strongly  warn  against 
a  too  sedulous  care  of  health  than  against  the  contrary 
error. 

MRS.  B. — I  am  very  far  from  desiring  to  recommend 
this  undue  solicitude  which  in  fact  destroys  its  purpose, 
and  which,  if  the  body  be  not  diseased,  renders  the  mind 
so.  Every  blessing  may,  by  being  over-valued,  end  in 
becoming  a  torment.  This  over-care  to  preserve  health., 
when  habitual,  is  as  great  an  evil,  indeed  it  is  worse,  than 
a  regular  illness,  because  it  is  not  likely  to  be  cured, 
Medicine  gives  no  relief  to  it :  mental  and  bodily  exertion 
are  the  only  remedies,  and  they  are  the  only  remedies,  toos 
which  the  sufferer  is  either  unwilling  or  unable  to  try. 
The  hypochondriac  is  indeed  a  pitiable  being ;  yet  whe- 
ther his  sufferings  proceed  from  indulgence  of  feelings,  or 
from  some  hidden  malady,  I  suppose  it  is  not  possible  to 
know.  But,  if  there  are  any  means  by  which  this  dis- 
tempered state  may  be  avoided,  they  must  arise  from  our- 
selves, and  be  resorted  to  the  moment  that  any  symptoms 
are  perceptible. 

With  our  sex,  I  suspect,  this  complaint  has  its  com- 
mencement at  an  early  period  in  our  lives,  and  often  re- 
ceives encouragement  from  our  own  folly  and  weakness, 
and  from  the  very  mistaken  notion,  that  a  delicate  con- 
stitution and  a  feeble  body  render  us  interesting  to  others ; 
and  thus  many  hysterical  and  nervous  affections  are  en- 
couraged and  strengthened,  until  they  are  scarcely  to  be 
subdued.  From  some  cause  or  other,  women  seem  pecu- 
19* 


222  PRESERVING  HEALTH. 

liarly  subject  to  hysterical  feelings.  Whether  these 
originate  f  om  an  effeminate  education,  or  a  delicate  or- 
ganization, I  do  not  know ;  but  I  do  know  it  to  be  a  fact, 
that  a  little  exertion  and  resolution  will  subdue  and  lessen 
the  force  of  such  attacks,  while,  on  the  contrary,  without 
this  resistance,  they  will  increase  and  strengthen  until  they 
amount  to  an  obstinate  and  troublesome  state  of  disease. 
When  hysterical  symptoms  appear  in  young  people,  it  is 
the  duty  of  those  near  them,  to  point  out  to  them,  in  a 
serious  manner,  the  danger  of  abandoning  themselves  to 
these  feelings  ;  and  when  this  advice  does  not  prove  suffi- 
cient to  urge  them  to  resistance,  some  more  decided  mea- 
sures should  be  resorted  to,  before  the  attacks  gain  too 
great  a  head.  A  young  lady  of  a  delicate  constitution  was 
for  some  weeks  subject  to  an  hysterical  spasm,  which  came 
on  every  evening,  and  each  time  with  increased  strength. 
Her  friends  at  length  called  in  a  very  sensible  physician, 
who  perceiving  his  patient  was  not  otherwise  diseased, 
although  far  from  being  strong,  determined  not  to  humour 
her  friends,  whose  apprehensions  led  them  to  wish  that 
only  gentle  and  soothing  measures  should  be  adopted. 
He,  therefore,  ordered  cataplasms  to  be  applied  to  her 
feet  the  mo^snt  the  spasm  came  on,  which  immediately 
irritated  her  to  such  a  degree,  that  she  roused  herself  from 
the  attack.  The  next  evening,  at  the  stated  time,  symp 
toms  of  the  fit  again  appeared,  and  at  the  same  instant  the 
bell  was  rung  to  order  the  cataplasms  to  be  prepared,  upon 
which  the  symptoms  disappeared  instantly,  and  never  at- 
tacked her  again.  It  is  upon  the  same  principle  that  hys- 
teric fits  have  been  sometimes  cured  by  fright,  or  by 
naving  a  quantity  of  cold  water  thrown  over  the  patient.  ! 
Some  women,  whom  I  have  known,  have  given  way 

o  hysterics  whenever  they  imagined  that  they  could  gain 
some  point  either  with  a  husband  or  father  by  appearing 

11.    But  as  these  are  truly  ebullitions  of  passion,  and  not 
the  effect  of  disease,  they  are  too  contemptible  to  be 


PRESERVING  HEALTH.  223 

noticed,  and  can  only  cause  regret  that  the  individuals  who 
practise  them  should  ever  obtain  their  ends.  They  who 
can  work  upon  the  feelings  of  their  friends  in  this  manner, 
and  who,  to  gain  some  trifling  object,  avail  themselves  of 
such  unworthy  means,  must  not  expect  much  commisera- 
tion, if  in  time  these  attacks  come  upon  them  unbidden, 
and  at  unseasonable  moments. 

Many  women  talk  too  much  of  their  complaints,  forget- 
ting how  little  interesting  the  subject  can  be  to  their  audi- 
tors, and  how  useless  to  themselves.  Indeed  it  is  worse 
than  useless;  it  is  pernicious.  One  great  aim,  which  we 
should  always  have  in  view,  is  to  withdraw  our  thoughts 
as  much  from  ourselves  as  possible,  and  to  give  them  such 
objects  for  their  employment  as  will  enlarge  our  minds, 
and  improve  our  hearts:  or  if  we  turn  them  inwardly  on 
ourselves,  they  should  be  directed  to  the  task  of  self- 
examination,  to  discover  wherein  we  have  erred,  and  in 
what  weaknesses  we  indulge.  But,  instead  of  doing  this, 
our  thoughts  are  most  generally  frivolously  employed  ; 
and  never  can  this  be  said  with  more  truth  than  when  we 
permit  them  to  dwell  upon  trifling  feelings  of  indisposition. 
To  these  most  women  are  subject  more  or  less  ;  but  they 
suffer  the  least  from  them,  who  endeavour,  by  the  aid  of 
useful  and  cheerful  occupations,  to  give  them  no  attention* 
if  the  poet  tells  a  truth,  who  says, 


"To  dally  long  on  subjects  mean  and  low, 
Shows  a  weak  mind,  or  quickly  makes  i  so," 

we  ought  to  beware  how  we  employ  our  thoughts  in  any 
unprofitable  manner,  and  especially  when  we  consider  that 
even  the  most  serious  and  useful  of  our  employments,  do 
not,  like  those  of  men,  call  the  powers  of  our  minds  into 
much  exercise.  Alas !  could  we  recall  all  the  thoughts 
that  have  passed  through  our  minds,  from  the  moment  when 
we  began  to  think,  to  the  present,  and  could  we  separate 


224  HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN. 

the  vain  and  the  childish,  from  the  useful  and  the  com- 
mendable,— the  tares  from  the  wheat, — what  a  melancholy 
truth  would  be  told  us !  What  a  mass  of  folly  would  there 
be  on  one  side,  and  what  an  atom  of  good  on  the  other ! 

But  to  return  to  our  subject : — next  to  the  weakness  of 
dwelling  upon  our  own  complaints,  is  that  of  fancying  our 
children  to  be  subject  to  an  endless  variety  of  complaints, 
To  be  anxious  about  the  health  of  our  children  is  very  na- 
tural j  and,  even  when  it  is  earned  to  an  extreme,  is  more 
excusable  than  the  same  degree  of  solicitude  about  our 
own  healths ;  but  neither  to  this  should  we  give  way  j 
since  by  doing  so  we  should  encourage  a  thousand  fancies 
totally  useless  to  our  children,  and  very  annoying  and 
troublesome  to  every  one  else  near  u«  A  fit  of  ill  temper, 
the  indulgence  of  caprice  in  a  spoiled  child,  or  the  sullen- 
ness  which  any  disappointment  may  cause  in  young  people 
whose  minds  are  badly  regulated,  are  often  attributed  to 
disease  by  weak  mothers ;  and  the  cure  of  these  serious 
evils  intrusted  to  medical  agents,  instead  of  moral  manage- 
ment. A  pale  cheek  or  heavy  eyes  in  an  infaut,  which 
probably  have  arisen  from  disturbed  sleep  or  some  other 
slight  cause,  I  have  seen  awaken  many  unfounded  appre- 
nensions,  and  cloud  over  for  a  day  the  countenances  of  a 
whole  family.  Be  assured,  that  symptoms  of  serious  ill- 
nesses are  generally  of  a  more  decided  nature,  and  of  these 
it  is  of  course  desirable  to  take  immediate  notice,  and  to 
call  in  advice. 

Now  let  me  remark  to  you,  that  to  preserve  the  health 
of  your  family,  you  must  keep  two  means  in  view ;  the 
first,  to  promote  health  by  good  and  regular  habits,  and 
the  second  to  prevent,  by  proper  precautions,  the  attacks 
of  disease. 

Regularity  in  every  habit  is  a  mode  by  which  health 
may  be  promoted,  and  of  this  your  own  experience  has, 
I  am  persuaded,  already  convinced  you.  You  have  known 
young  women,  once  healthy  and  vigorous,  become  feeble. 


HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN.  225 

drooping,  and  spiritless,  when  their  early  regular  and  tem- 
perate habits  have  been  broken  through,  and  when,  by 
joining  the  circles  of  fashion,  they  have  turned  the  hours 
of  rest  into  the  seasons  for  gayety  and  amusement.  Late 
and  irregular  hours  of  going  to  bed  are  much  against  the 
preservation  of  the  health,  and  particularly  so  from  their 
destroying  the  wholesome  habit  of  early  rising.  This 
habit  cannot  in  every  case  be  continued  regularly  after 
marriage,  since  many  impediments  may  render  it  imprac- 
ticable. But,  with  children,  the  habit  both  of  going  to 
bed  soon,  and  of  rising  early,  should  be  enforced.  For 
half  the  year  at  least,  the  morning  air,  so  pure  and  bracing, 
cannot  fail  to  be  useful  to  them ;  and,  even  with  tender 
children,  the  heated,  relaxing  bed,  should  be  quitted  each 
day  as  early  as  possible.  Besides  the  advantage  to  be 
gained  in  respect  to  health  by  rising  early,  it  fixes  HI 
children  a  habit  which  they  may  be  able  to  preserve  at  a 
later  period  of  their  lives,  when  they  become  aware  of  all 
the  advantages  attending  it.  I  do  not  believe  that  health 
is  so  much  affected  by  our  having  only  a  short  allowance 
of  sleep,  as  it  is  by  the  irregular  hours  we  keep.  Indeed 
it  is  almost  as  injurious,  both  to  the  mind  and  the  body,  to 
have  too  much  sleep,  as  it  is  to  have  too  little.  We  cannot 
eat  too  much  without  suffering  from  it,  neither  can  any 
other  habit  of  self-indulgence  be  enjoyed  with  impunity. 
Too  much  sleep  excites  feverishness,  occasions  feelings  of 
lassitude  and  weakness,  and  often  causes  head-ache. 
Many  complain  of  these  feelings  who  would  lose  them 
directly  if  they  were  to  rouse  themselves  early,  and  take 
some  pleasant  exercise  at  that  refreshing  time  of  the  day, 
instead  of  fancying  themselves  weak,  requiring  more  rest, 
and  turning  themselves  round,  and 

"Folding  their  arms  for  a  little  more  slumber." 

Some  medical  men  will  tell  you,  that  for  persons  in  health, 


226  HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN. 

sk  hours  of  sleep  are  sufficient,  and  that  more  is  injurious. 
As  the  creatures  of  habit,  I  have  no  doubt  that  we  might 
form  ours  in  any  manner  we  choose ;  and  if  so,  what  a 
desirable  habit  that  must  be  to  cultivate,  by  which  we 
should  rescue  so  many  hours,  hitherto  useless  to  us,  and 
add  them  to  our  hours  of  usefulness  and  enjoyment. 

In  some  cases  of  illness,  and  of  a  valetudinarian  state  of 
health,  more  indulgence  in  respect  to  sleep  may  be  neces- 
sary ;  but  this  must  depend  entirely  on  the  nature  of  the 
complaint,  for  in  some  constitutions  this  indulgence  rather 
enervates  and  weakens  than  assists  to  restore  health. 

Children  and  old  people  require  more  sleep  than  the 
middle-aged ;  but  in  both  cases,  going  early  to  bed  is  far 
better  than  lying  late.  Children  whose  growing  limbs  are 
always  in  action  during  the  day,  require  that  the  hours 
allotted  to  them  for  sleep  should  be  proportioned  to  the 
exercise  they  take.  For  instance,  before  the  age  of  nine 
or  ten  years,  they  should  never  set  up  beyond  eight  o'clock, 
nor  be  in  bed  after  six  o'clock  in  summer  mornings.  In  the 
winter  nature  seems  to  direct  that  a  greater  portion  of  our 
time  should  be  spent  in  sleep  ;  and  I  think  this  peculiarly 
applies  to  children,  who  are  generally  more  drowsy  in 
cold  than  in  temperate  weather.  Nor  can  I  see  any  ad- 
vantage in  rousing  children  before  it  is  light,  and  before 
the  rooms  into  which  they  are  taken  have  had  time  to  get 
warmed  by  the  fire.  When  little  children  are  suffered  to 
chill  after  getting  up,  they  are  liable  to  become  habitually 
cross  and  fretful  in  the  morning  ;  and  nothing  will  appease 
them  until  they  have  had  their  warmth  renewed  by  break- 
fast. Insome  nurseries  I  have  known  this  habitual  1  retfulness 
to  have  been  a  cause  of  great  vexation  to  both  nurses  and 
parents,  and  to  have  occasioned  habits  of  peevishness  in 
the  children  which  could  not  be  easily  broken. 

It  seems  scarcely  necessary,  in  these  days,  to  recommend 
cleanliness  as  a  great  promoter  of  health  ;  yet  I  must  ob- 
£erve  that  washing  children  with  abundance  of  cold  water 


HEALTH  OP  CHILDREN.  227 

from  head  to  foot,  while  their  age  permits  it,  is  a  whole- 
some and  bracing  habit.  I  have  seen  this  practised  in  a 
nursery  of  children,  who  from  the  age  of  two  years  to  five 
and  six,  stood  each  morning  in  a  tub,  while,  with  a  large 
isponge,  the  contents  of  a  jug  of  water  were  showered 
over  them,  and  no  children  could  look  more  wholesome 
and  healthy  than  these  little  ones  did  after  this  copious 
washing.  Besides  this,  they  were  washed  in  a  tub  of  warm 
water  once  every  week,  which  was  necessary,  notwith- 
standing the  daily  washings.  After  the  diurnal  washings 
they  were  rubbed  briskly  and  thoroughly  dry,  by  which 
the  circulation  of  the  blood  through  all  the  smaller  vessels 
near  the  surface  was  promoted,  and  a  glow  produced  all 
over  them. 

The  extremities  of  even  healthy,  and  particularly  of 
fat  children,  are  liable  to  be  chilled ;  for  which  friction, 
either  with  the  hand  or  flesh-brush,  should  be  employed ; 
and  this  practice  is  particularly  desirable  for  infants  whose 
circulation  is  not  always  perfect.  After  washing,  a  good 
nurse-maid  will  rub  the  limbs  and  back  of  a  young  infant, 
not  only  until  it  is  perfectly  dry,  but  until  a  gentle  glow 
has  been  produced ;  and  the  exercise  thus  afforded  it  will 
promote  its  health  and  growth  as  much  as  that  which  it 
receives  from  its  nurse  when  it  is  a  little  older,  and  when 
good  nursin  consists,  in  some  measure,  in  being  as  active 
as  possible.  Some  kind  of  exercise  is  necessary  in  every 
period  of  life,  and  gentle  friction  is  that  which  is  peculiarly 
adapted  to  the  two  or  three  first  months  of  the  life  of  an 
infant,  who  very  early  shows  signs  of  pleasure  during  this 
operation. 

The  hair  of  children  should  never  be  allowed  to  grow- 
very  long  or  thick,  both  on  account  of  not  encouraging  too 
much  heat  in  the  head,  and  of  not  having  a  great  mass  of 
hair  to  dry  when  their  heads  are  washed,  which  is  the 
best  method  of  cleansing  them,  and  which  should  be  done, 
at  least,  once  or  twice  in  the  week.  The  head  of  an 


228  HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN. 

infant  who  has  not  much  hair  may  be  washed  every  day  • 
when  the  hair  becomes  long  and  thick  it  cannot  very  con- 
veniently be  done  so  often,  because  it  renders  it  a  fatiguing 
business  for  the  child  to  have  the  head  rubbed  sufficiently 
dry ;  and  unless  the  hair  be  very  well  dried,  there  is  some 
danger  of  cold  being  caught,  and  affecting  either  the  sight 
or  the  hearing.  On  this  account  many  ladies  object  to 
having  their  children's  heads  washed;  but,  when  it  is 
done  carefully,  and  the  hair  is  kept  short,  there  can  be  no 
fear  of  its  causing  any  bad  effects ;  and,  indeed,  I  think 
that  children,  who  have  been  accustomed  to  the  practice, 
are  not  so  liable  to  take  cold  as  those  are  who  have  not 
been  used  to  it. 

MRS.  L. — Regular  meals  are,  I  suppose,  essential  to  the 
health  of  children  ? 

MRS.  B. — We  all,  both  young  and  old,  feel  the  good 
effects  of  regularity  in  our  habits,  and  it  is  desirable  to 
maintain  this  regularity  as  far  as  we  are  able  ;  at  the  same 
time,  it  is  as  important  to  us  to  be  able  to  forego  it  as  oc- 
casion may  demand.  During  our  lives,  we  are  frequently 
forced  to  deviate  from  our  usual  proceedings  ;  sometimes, 
we  are  called  upon  to  give  up  a  portion  of  our  hours  ot 
sleep,  and  at  other  times  we  find  ourselves  obliged  to 
abstain  from  food  for  longer  periods  than  those  to  which 
we  are  accustomed.  In  bringing  up  our  children  we  should 
keep  in  mind  their  liability  to  these  deviations,  and  not 
render  them  unfit  to  endure  them  by  a  too  careful  and 
delicate  treatment.  Whatever  system  seems  best  calcu- 
lated to  keep  them  in  health,  and  to  promote  the  growth 
of  their  bodies  while  young,  must  prove  the  best  plan  also 
for  laying  the  foundation  of  that  vigour  of  mind  and  body 
which,  in  later  life,  will  carry  them  through  any  trials  of 
strength  which  they  may  be  required  to  sustain. 

In  the  first  place,  we  must  remember,  that  if  the  organs 
of  digestion  be  impaired,  the  whole  system  will  feel  the 
effects  of  their  derangement :  the  strength  will  diminish. 


HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN.  229 

the  growth  of  the  body  will  be  stopped,  and  other  complaints 
will  probably  ensue.  Nothing  is  so  likely  to  prevent  this 
mischief  as  great  regularity  in  the  hours  of  eating.  The 
meals  of  children  should  be  at  equal  intervals  from  each 
other ;  and  they  should  not  be  allowed  to  have  any  thing 
to  eat  between  their  meals.  It  is,  I  have  been  told,  almost 
as  injurious  as  poison,  though  it  may  be  slower  in  its 
effects,  to  throw  into  the  stomach  fresh  food,  while  its 
previous  contents  are  undergoing  the  process  of  digestion. 
The  consequence  then  is,  that  the  food  last  eaten  passes 
off  in  a  half-digested  state,  without  conveying  proper 
nourishment  to  the  blood,  but  producing  injury  to  the  ves- 
sels through  which  it  is  carried  off.  Healthy  children, 
from  the  age  of  six  or  eight  months  to  that  of  three  years, 
will  not  require  food  to  be  given  to  them  more  frequently 
than  every  three  hours :  and,  after  three  years  of  age. 
the  interval  between  their  meals  may  be  extended  to  four 
hours. 

The  food  of  which  their  meals  are  composed  should  be 
good  of  its  kind,  and  it  ought  to  be  plainly  dressed.  Milk 
and  bread  afford  the  best  breakfast  and  supper  for  children  ; 
plain,  roasted,  or  boiled  meat,  or  occasionally  broiled  meat, 
sometimes  fish,  and  a  light  pudding,  with  a  few  vegetables, 
are  the  materials  of  which  the  dinners  of  children  should 
generally  consist.  Meat  for  the  nursery  should  be  procured 
as  tender  as  possible,  and  never  taken  from  the  coarse  and 
strong  parts.  The  old  meats,  such  as  mutton  and  beef, 
are  considered  more  nutritious  and  easier  of  digestion  than 
the  young  meats,  such  as  lamb  and  veal.  Salt  meat  should 
never  be  given  to  children.  Fish  is  light  and  nutritious, 
and  may  occasionally  serve  as  a  little  change.  Of  vege- 
tables, potatoes  are  most  commonly  given  to  children  ;  but 
they  are,  often,  the  very  worst  food  for  them.  While  new 
they  are  indigestible,  but  may,  during  a  considerable  part 
of  the  year,  be  so  prepared  as  not  to  be  improper  food  for 
children.  Let  the  potatoes  be  very  well  boiled,  and,  after 
20 


$30  HEALTH  OF  CHILDREN. 

pouring  the  water  away  from  them,  cover  them  over  with 
a  clean  cloth  kept  for  that  purpose,  and  "het  them  stand 
close  by  the  fire  until  the  steam  be  absorbed  by  the  cloth.* 
Have  a  deep  earthen  pan,  and  a  wooden  spoon,  ready  by 
the  fire,  and  boil  above  half  a  pint  of  milk  ;  and  when  the 
potatoes  are  ready  and  peeled,  put  them  into  the  earthen 
pan,  and  mash  them  with  the  wooden  spoon,  mixing  a 
little  of  the  hot  milk  in  by  degrees,  until  the  whole  quantity 
be  quite  free  from  lumps.  A  little  salt  should  be  added. 
Cabbage  which  is  well  boiled,  cauliflowers,  French  beans, 
and  turnips,  are  among  the  vegetables  which  may  be  given 
to  children  along  with  animal  food,  and  are  more  whole- 
some than  potatoes ;  but  raw  vegetables,  such  as  cucum- 
bers, celery,  and  radishes,  should  never  be  given  to  them  ; 
indeed,  cos-lettuce  is  the  only  uncooked  vegetable  that 
they  should  be  allowed  to  eat.  Rice  prepared  in  differ- 
ent ways,  bread,  millet,  or  arrow-root  puddings,  light 
custard  puddings,  and  fruit  .baked  with  a  little  sugar,  are 
to  be  preferred  to  richer  and  other  kinds  of  puddings,  or  * 
to  tarts  of  pastry.  Children  should  never  have  any  food 
given  them  which  will  tempt  them  to  eat  more  than  the 
appetite  demands ;  and,  indeed,  they  will  seldom  desire 
more  unless  they  are  pampered  by  delicacies. 

MRS.  L. — The  propensity  which  parents,  and,  indeed, 
people  in  general,  have  to  encourage  in  children  the  dis- 
gusting failing  of  gluttony,  by  making  their  chief  gratifi- 
cation and  rewards  consist  in  presents  of  cakes,  fruits,  or 
confectionary,  has  always  appeared  to  me  very  unaccount- 
able. They  are,  thus,  betrayed  doubly  to  injure  them- 
selves, both  in  their  dispositions  and  in  their  health. 

MRS.  B.— Although  the  food  of  children  should  be  gene- 
rally simple,  and  such  as  will  not  tempt  them  to  eat  more 
than  is  proper,  yet,  I  am  not  sure  that  parents  are  wrong 
in  occasionally  gratifying  the  natural  inclination  of  their 

*  A  steamer  will  answer  the  same  end. 


PRECAUTIONS  AGAINST  SICKNESS*  231 

offspring  for  sweetmeats  and  cakes  ;  because,  instead  of 
being  fostered  into  a  vice,  it  may,  by  judicious  manage- 
ment, be  directed  to  the  cultivation  of  some  of  the  most 
amiable  qualities  that  can  adorn  human  nature.  I  have 
known  children  who,  without  the  appearance  of  prompting 
or  effort  on  the  part  of  their  parents,  have,  at  a  very  early 
period  of  their  lives,  been  taught  to  prefer  a  higher  grati- 
fication to  the  enjoyment  of  their  palate  ;  and,  while  re- 
signing a  portion,  and  sometimes  the  whole,  of  any  tempt- 
ing gift  they  had  received,  to  a  younger  sister  or  brother, 
they  have  shown  themselves  capable  of  fully  enjoying  and 
appreciating  the  pleasures  of  benevolence,  procured  by 
the  sacrifice  of  their  own  gratification. 

Besides  the  habits,  already  recommended,  of  early  hours, 
cleanliness,  and  regular  meals,  health  may  be  promoted 
by  cheerfulness  and  good  humour ;  and  particularly  in  the 
case  ^f  children,  who  are  easily  affected  by  the  circum- 
stances around  them.  Melancholy  and  gloomy  impressions, 
by  depressing  their  spirits,  deprive  them  of  their  natural 
inclination  fdr  active  and  cheerful  employments,  which 
are  requisite  to  maintain  their  whole  system  in  order. 
Any  circumstances  which  have  a  tendency  to  excite  alarm 
and  create  anxiety  in  the  minds  of  children,  should  not  be, 
unnecessarily,  imparted  to  them ;  and  any  cause  for  habitual 
anxiety,  such  as  having  a  nurse-maid  peculiarly  disagree- 
able to  a  child,  so  as  to  render  him  dull  and  unhappy 
whenever  he  is  with  her,  should  undoubtedly  be  removed. 
Whatever  destroys  cheerfulness  in  the  nursery,  will  injure 
the  health  of  its  little  inhabitants.  A  broken  spirit  will 
certainly  be  the  forerunner  of  a  weakened  body.  An  oc- 
casional impression,  however,  of  gloom,  will  not  produce 
any  permanently  injurious  effect.  With  children  it  fc 
happily,  indeed, — "  the  tear  forgot  as  soon  as  shed  ;"  but 
an  habitual  state  of  depression  should  be  carefully  avoided. 

MRS.  L. — By  what  means  may  illness  be  prevented,  or, 
rather,  how  may  the  direct  causes  of  disease  be  avoided  ? 


232  PRECAUTIONS  AGAINST  SICKNESS. 

MRS.  B. — Sudden  transitions  from  heat  to  cold,  or  from 
cold  to  heat,  which,  in  the  one  case,  lowers  too  hastily 
and,  in  the  other,  increases  too  rapidly,  the  force  of  the 
circulation,  occasion  what  is  commonly  called  taking  cold. 
All  medical  men,  knowing  how  many  serious  evils  spring 
from  this  cause,  which,  sometimes,  either  directly  produces 
disease,  or,  in  habits  where  disease  is  latent,  excites  it, 
caution  every  one  to  beware  of  sudden  alternations  of  heat 
and  cold;  but  without  much  effect,  for  the  generality  of 
people  are  negligent  in  the  extreme  on  this  point,  flattering 
themselves,  that,  as  colds  are  often  of  no  importance,  and 
are  attended  with  no  other  inconvenience  than  a  few  days' 
indisposition,  precaution  is  needless.  To  those  concerned 
in  promoting  the  health  of  a  family,  these  precautions 
ought  not  to  be  considered  as  useless ;  especially  when 
the  health  of  children  is  concerned,  to  whom  feverish 
colds  and  coughs  are  very  troublesome,  and  caqqpt.  to 
those  who  have  the  charge  of  them,  much  anxiety  and 
fatigue. 

Exposure  to  currents  of  air,  when  the  body  is  heated, 
as  well  as  other  sudden  alternations  of  heat  to  cold,  sitting 
or  sleeping  in  a  newly  scoured  room,  remaining  too  long 
near  an  open  window  in  damp  evenings,  and  putting  on 
damp  linen,  are  among  the  causes  of  cold.  It  is  true,  that 
we  may  often  be  guilty  of  these  imprudences,  and  yet  not 
experience  inconvenience  ;  but  we  ought  not  to  found  our 
security  on  this  circumstance,  for  it  is  probable  that,  at 
another  time,  there  may  be  in  us  a  greater  susceptibility 
of  cold,  and  we  may  be  caught  unawares. 

Another  precaution  is  to  avoid  unwholesome  diet,  which 
being  productive  of  indigestion,  acidity  in  the  stomach, 
and  loss  of  appetite,  a  disordered  state  of  the  stomach  and 
bowels  is  the  consequence,  which,  unless  it  can  be  speedily 
corrected,  gives  birth  to  a  long  train  of  diseases.  The 
kinds  of  food  likely  to  produce  these  complaints  are  bigWy 
seasoned  and  rich  dishes,  such  as  ragouts,  fricassees,  hai- 


SYMPTOMS  OF  DISEASES.  233 

rieos,  and  meats  dressed  with  curry  powder.  Buttered 
toast,  rich  pastry,  and  confectionary,  also  belong  to  this  list 
of  prohibitions ;  nor  do  I  think  it  should  be  considered  as 
national  prejudice  to  include  in  it  French  cookery:  indi- 
gestion, with  all  its  evil  train,  is  not  likely  to  be  less  com- 
mon while  that  continues  fashionable.  Most  of  the  dishes 
dressed  after  the  French  manner  consist,  generally,  of 
meats  stewed  until  all  the  nutritious  part  is  withdrawn 
from  them  and  centered  in  the  gravy,  which  generally 
contains,  also,  ingredients  of  an  oily  description,  giving  a 
richness  to  the  viands  of  a  most  indigestible  nature.  Oily 
substances  are  heavy  for  healthy,  and  are  peculiarly  un- 
suited  to  delicate  stomachs. 

Airy  rooms  are  very  favourable  in  promoting  health  and 
cheerfulness.  It  is  not  in  the  power  of  every  one  to  com- 
mand equal  advantages  in  this  respect ;  but  all  may  en- 
deavour to  keep  their  apartments  clean,  free  from  disagree- 
able odours,  and  may,  also,  contrive  to  have  their  windows 
open  at  proper  seasons,  that  a  change  of  air  may  be  ob- 
tained. Sleeping  rooms,  particularly,  require  the  free  ad- 
mission of  air.  In  damp  weather  this  should,  in  every 
case,  be  done  with  caution,  especially  when  a  bed  stands 
near  the  window.  In  such  a  case  it  is  better  to  omit 
opening  the  window,  but  to  admit  as  much  change  of  air 
as  you  can  by  keeping  the  doors  open.  In  the  winter 
season,  all  windows  in  sleeping  rooms  should  be  closed  by 
three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon. 

MRS.  L.— You  have  cautioned  me  against  being  too 
readily  alarmed  by  slight  indispositions  in  my  family,  but 
how  are  the  symptoms  of  more  serious  illnesses  to  be 
known  ?  Any  neglect  of  these  would,  I  suppose,  be  likely 
to  increase  their  violence  ?  : 

MRS.  B. —Medical  advice  cannot  be  too  soon  obtained 
when  any  symptoms  of  a  violent  disease  appear ;  such  as 
fevers -and  inflammatory  complaints  ;  and  with  the  symp- 
toms of  these,  every  female,  at  the  head  of  a  family,  should 
20* 


234  SYMPTOMS  OP  DISEASES. 

be,  in  some  degree,  acquainted,  that  mischief  may  not 
arise  from  neglect. 

Fevers  begin  with  languor,  lassitude,  and  other  symptoms 
indicating  debility ;  then  follow  pain  in  the  head,  sometimes 
vomiting,  shiverings,  great  heat  of  skin,  thirst,  and  an  irre- 
gular pulse.  These  symptoms  generally  usher  in  continued 
fevers,  which  are  of  different  kinds  ;  such  as  bilious  remit- 
tent fever,  nervous  fever,  and  typhus.  Inflammatory  fever 
is  generally  symptomatic,  and  is  characterized  by  a  throb- 
bing, heavy  pain  in  the  head,  great  continued  heat  of  the 
body,  the  face  red,  the  pulse  full,  hard,  and  quick,  and 
great  thirst.  The  mind  is,  sometimes,  affected,  and  the 
rest  always  disturbed. 

The  Scarlet  Fever  commences  with  chilliness,  shiverings, 
sore  throat,  and  head-ache ;  and  afterwards  the  skin  be- 
comes partially  covered  with  a  scarlet  eruption. 

Measles,  in  the  commencement,  resemble  an  ordinary 
cold  or  catarrh.  The  individual  is  attacked  with  shiver- 
ings,  which  are  followed  by  great  heat,  head-ache,  and 
heaviness.  The  eyes  appear  dull,  inflamed,  watery,  and 
unable  to  bear  the  light.  The  nostrils  run,  and  there  is 
frequent  sneezing.  Sometimes  the  fever  is  preceded  by  a 
cough,  tightness  across  the  chest,  slight  nausea,  and  occa- 
sional vomiting.  These  symptoms  continue  for  four  or 
five  days,  when  the  eruption  appears,  first  on  the  temples, 
forehead,  and  face,  and  afterwards  over  the  body.  It 
differs  from  the  rash  of  scarlet  fever  in  being  slightly 
raised,  or  papular,  and  the  blotches  assuming  the  form  of 
a  horse-shoe. 

Inflammation  of  the  Bowels  is  known  by  a  fixed  pain  in 
them,  increased  by  pressure,  and  attended  occasionally  with 
vomiting,  costiveness,  and  fever. 

Pleurisy,  or  inflammation  of  the  lining  membrane  of  the 
chest,  begins  with  shiverings,  which  are  succeeded  by 
difficulty  of  breathing,  coughs,  stitches,  or  pain  in  the  chest, 
particularly  when  breathing  or  coughing. 


SYMPTOMS  OF  DISEASES.  235 

Putrid  sore  Throat  commences  with  alternate  chills 
and  heats,  pain  and  heaviness  in  the  head,  and  other 
symptoms  of  fever ;  and  the  throat,  when  examined,  ap- 
pears ulcerated. 

The  Hooping-Cough  appears  at  first  to  be  only  a  com- 
mon cough,  but  gradually  becomes  more  violent,  and  at 
last  is  convulsive.  While  the  paroxysm  is  upon  the  patient, 
he  coughs  until  the  whole  of  the  air  in  the  lungs  is  expelled, 
after  which  it  again  rushes  in  violently  to  supply  the 
vacuum  ;  and  the  inspiration  is  attended  with  a  peculiar 
noise,  as  if  of  violent  suction,  which  is  termed  the  hoop, 
and  has  given  the  name  to  the  complaint. 

When  symptoms  such  as  I  have  described  appear  in 
your  family,  it  is  necessary  to  seek  for  medical  assistance 
I  need  not  caution  you  against  the  danger  of  trifling  with 
complaints  of  so  serious  a  nature,  by  attempting  to  admin- 
ister remedies  of  your  own  suggesting.  If  we  consider 
experience  as  a  requisite  in  our  medical  attendant,  how 
can  we  find  sufficient  confidence  in  ourselves  to  act  without 
him  on  occasions  so  urgent,  when  we  perhaps  recollect  that 
our  own  experience  is  confined  to  the  knowledge  of  two 
or  three  cases?  Even  greater  danger  may  arise  from 
calling  in  ignorant  and  irregular  practitioners.  Such  men 
establish  their  reputation  by  the  boldness  of  their  measures, 
which  kill  rather  than  cure.  It  is  surprising  that  so  much 
infatuation  prevails  in  this  country,  in  favour  of  these  irre- 
gular practitioners,  many  of  whom,  it  they  have  any 
knowledge  at  all,  must  have  obtained  it  by  intuition :  yet, 
people  will  have  the  folly  to  resort  to  them,  and  to  reject 
men  whose  lives  have  been  spent  in  alternate  study  and 
practice,  in  order  to  fit  them  for  this  important  profession. 
It  is  not  just  to  the  regular  practitioner  to  encourage  these 
spurious  offsets ;  and  it  is  injurious  to  society  to  do  any 
thing  which  shall  increase  their  numbers,  or  give  them 
confidence  with  the  multitude. 

Whenever  sickness  enters  your  family,  whether  in  your 


236  DUTIES  OF  DAUGHTERS. 

nursery,  with  your  husband,  or  among  your  domestics, 
you  should^  by  evincing  a  lively  interest  in  it  yourself, 
encourage  the  whole  of  your  family  to  consider  it  as  one 
common  concern.  It  is  true  that  all  cannot  be  occupied, 
immediately,  about  the  invalid,  but  each  may  show  a  pro- 
per feeling,  by  desiring  to  take  some  share  of  the  in- 
creased business  of  the  house,  and  by  the  readiness  with 
which  they  submit  to  the  many  inconveniences  which  an 
illness  must  occasion.  Where  there  are  daughters  old 
enough  to  share  the  fatigues  of  nursing,  they  should  be 
urged  to  the  task  for  their  own  sakes ;  for  they  will  find 
the  knowledge  which  they  may  gain  on  these  occasions  to 
be  invaluable  when  they  become  wives  and  mothers. 
Besides  this,  the  bed  of  sickness  conveys  to  all  of  us,  in  a 
forcible  manner,  many  important  truths  ;  gives  us  a  lesson 
in  fortitude  and  resignation,  and  obliges  us  to  practise 
patience  and  forbearance. 

MRS.  L. — Indeed  I  am  entirely  of  your  opinion,  that 
the  daughters  in  a  family  should  be  early  initiated  in  the 
duties  of  the  sick-room ;  or  rather,  that  they  should  not, 
as  is  most  usual,  be  banished  from  it,  as  if  the  experience 
which  they  might  acquire  in  it  would  be  injurious  to  them 
instead  of  furnishing  them  with  useful  and  salutary  lessons, 
I  have  heard  ladies  argue,  that  it  would  be  wrong  to  de- 
press the  spirits  of  young  people,  by  making  them  wit- 
nesses of  painful  and  sorrowful  scenes,  and  that  their  days 
of  trouble  would  occur  soon  enough,  without  making  them 
participators  in  those  of  their  parents. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  a  mistaken  notion  of  indulgence  in  a 
mother  to  exclude  her  daughters  from  such  scenes,  when 
they  occur  in  her  own  family ;  and  it  is  an  indulgence  for 
which  the  daughters  can  scarcely  be  grateful  when  they 
become  wives  and  mothers  themselves,  and  stand  in  need 
of  that  knowledge  and  experience  which  they  might  have 
obtained  under  the  parental  roof. 

If  a  husband  be  ill,  how  natural  and  right  it  is  that  his 


SICKNESS  OF  HUSBAND.  £37 

wife  should  be  his  chief  nurse  and  attendant.  It  is  true, 
bis  illness  may  be  so  protracted,  that  she  may  be  unable  to 
undergo  the  entire  charge  and  fatigue  of  attending  upon 
him ;  yet  she  should  be  ever  ready  to  superintend  the 
conduct  of  the  nurses  under  her ;  and  should,  herself,  ad- 
minister his  medicines.  This  little  act  of  attention  on  her 
part,  if  it  cannot  add  to  their  efficacy,  will,  at  least,  render 
them  less  disagreeable  to  the  invalid,  than  if  they  were 
presented  to  him  by  the  hands  not  interested  in  their  effect- 
There  are  many  other  of  those  little  offices,  too,  which  may 
be  more  comfortably  and  agreeably  performed  by  a  wife, 
than  they  can  be  by  any  other  individual ;  and  she  should 
never,  unless  for  some  very  good  cause,  leave  these  to  the 
hired  nurse.  When  illness  attacks  either  her  husband  or 
her  children,  she  will  be  better  able  to  undergo  the  fatigue 
attending  it,  if  she  give  herself  up  to  it  as  much  as  she 
possibly  can.  To  some  of  her  other  duties  she  must,  per- 
haps, devote  a  portion  of  her  time  ;  but,  certainly,  all  en- 
gagements of  amusement,  whether  at  home  or  abroad,  she 
should  entirely  forego.  In  such  a  case  she  ought,  indeed, 
to  consider  any  pleasure  as  irksome,  and  should  give  it  up 
from  inclination,  rather  than  from  a  sense  of  duty ;  for  a 
woman  of  an  affectionate  disposition  could  not,  surely,  re- 
ceive any  gratification  from  her  usual  amusements,  while 
she  had  a  husband  or  a  child  stretched  on  the  bed  of 
sickness. 

It  is  said,  that  men  are  peculiarly  affected  by  the  kind- 
ness and  attention  shown  to  them  in  time  of  sickness  ;  and 
I  think,  that  women  are  scarcely  less  so.  When  by  illness 
we  become  dependent  on  the  services  of  our  relations  and 
friends,  it  is  consolatory  to  find  them  willingly  and  cheer- 
fully bestowed  upon  us  ;  and  our  warmest  feelings  of  gra- 
titude and  affection  are  naturally  excited  towards  those 
who  thus  seek  to  comfort  us  and  alleviate  our  troubles. 
In  a  wife  these  attentions  and  the  devoting  of  self  to  an 
invalid  husband,  are  better  proofs  of  her  affection  for  him, 


238  SICKNESS  OP  HUSBAND. 

than  any  uncalled-for  expressions  of  tenderness  bestowed 
upon  him  at  another  time.  If  he  has  had  reason  pre- 
viously to  doubt  her  affection,  or  if,  from  singularity  of 
temper  on  either  part,  unhappy  differences  have  subsisted 
between  them,  at  such  a  period  these  impressions  may  be 
obliterated  from  the  memory  of  both,  by  those  pleasing 
feelings  to  which  renewed  confidence  in  each  other's 
affection  has  given  birth.  This  favourable  change,  which 
may  afterwards  have  an  important  effect  upon  their  do- 
mestic happiness,  must  be  the  result  of  patient  forbearance 
and  good  humour  on  the  part  of  the  wife,  while  smarting 
from  the  whims  and  fretfulness  of  her  invalid  ;  and  even 
by  enduring  meekly  the  undeserved  reproaches,  which,  in 
the  bitterness  of  pain,  are  sometimes  bestowed  on  the 
gentlest  and  most  soothing  of  nurses. 

A  spirit  of  forbearance  constitutes  a  prominent  feature 
in  the  character  of  a  good  nurse  ;  but  to  that  she  must  add 
complete  command  over  her  countenance,  which  should 
be  composed  and  cheerful  even  in  the  moment  of  the 
greatest  anxiety:  also  a  gentle  and  kind  manner,  com- 
bined with  so  firm  a  temper  as  not  to  yield  to  the  caprice 
of  the  invalid  on  any  point  prejudicial  to  his  recovery; 
and  prudence  to  withhold  any  communication  that  may 
agitate  him,  whether  in  a  pleasurable  or  painful  manner, 
should  complete  the  character. 

MRS.  L.— Should  not  bad  news,  such  as  the  death  of 
friends  or  relations,  intelligence  of  a  distressing  kind  re- 
specting either  his  affairs,  or  those  of  his  nearest  connex- 
ions, be  withheld,  if  possible,  from  a  sick  person,  until  his 
returning  strength  will  enable  him  to  hear  the  communi- 
cation with  composure  ? 

MRS.  B. — Yes ;  and  even  good  news  should  not  always  be 
imparted,  and  never,  except  in  the  most  cautious  manner. 
In  an  illness  attended  with  any  nervous  irritation,  bad  in- 
telligence might  cause  a  serious  depression  of  spirits  in 
the  patient ;  and  good  news,  as  alarming  an  excitation. 


SICKNESS  OF  HUSBAND. 

The  best  effects,  however,  are  sometimes  produced  by 
good  news  ;  and  patients  who  have  been  almost  despaired 
of,  have  suddenly,  as  it  were,  shaken  off  disease,  and  ra- 
pidly recovered  after  some  pleasant  intelligence  has  been 
communicated  to  them.  It,  nevertheless,  requires  judg- 
ment to  determine  the  propriety  of  the  communication ; 
and  the  physician  should  always  be  consulted. 

Nor  is  it  only  during  illness  that  the  arts  of  good  nursing 
are  to  be  displayed.  As  soon  as  the  disease  disappears,  and 
nothing  remains  to  be  done  but  to  avoid  any  thing  liable 
to  occasion  a  relapse,  and  to  strengthen  the  system,  care 
must  be  taken  to  provide  nourishment  suitable  to  the  state 
of  the  patient.  It  should  be  in  readiness  at  the  very  mo- 
ment he  asks  for  it,  or  at  the  times  which,  probably,  the 
professional  attendant  has  stated  as  proper  for  nourishment 
to  be  given.  In  cases  of  extreme  weakness,  the  least 
delay  in  giving  the  food  often  causes  faintness,  and,  some- 
times, the  total  loss  of  appetite  in  the  invalid  ;  and  this 
cannot  occur  without  retarding  his  progress  towards  re- 
covery. Nature,  at  such  a  time,  demands  imperatively, 
and  must  be  obeyed.  The  quantity  of  nourishment  and 
its  nature  are  generally  determined  by  the  medical  gentle- 
man in  attendance  ;  but,  in  the  first  stages  of  convalescence, 
they  usually  consist  of  a  light  and  farinaceous  matter,  such 
as  arrow-root,  sago ;  or  such  as  chicken-broth,  and  beef- 
tea.  After  these  have  had  their  day,  nourishment  of  a 
more  solid  kind  may  be  given  ;  but  it  should  be  adminis- 
tered cautiously,  and,  at  first,  in  small  quantities.  The 
craving  appetite  of  convalescency  is  never  to  be  gratified 
to  its  utmost.  The  powers  of  the  stomach,  when  weak- 
ened by  disease,  will  not  digest  any  great  portion  of  food 
at  one  time  ,  and  if  the  patient  have  not  strength  of  mind 
enough  to  resist,  the  firmness  of  the  good  nurse  must  inter- 
pose itself,  and,  by  a  steady  denial  of  more  than  the  proper 
quantity  of  food,  avert  the  injury  which  the  patient  would 
bring  upon  himself.  During  the  various  stages  of  recovery, 


240  SICKNESS  or  CHILDREN. 

the  attentive  nurse  will  not  confine  her  powers  merely  to 
supply  the  invalid  with  aliment,  but  she  will  also  strive  to 
render  the  time  less  irksome  and  tedious  to  him,  who  is, 
perhaps,  already  weary  of  the  sick  room,  and  impatient 
for  emancipation  from  it.  She  will  read  to  him  amusing 
and  light  works,  of  a  nature  not  to  call  forth  any  strong 
emotion  on  his  part,  but  sufficiently  interesting  to  tempt 
him  to  withdraw  his  attention  from  himself,  and  to  fix  it 
upon  a  subject  of  a  less  anxious  nature  than  his  own  health. 
Anxiety,  whatever  be  the  cause  of  it,  is  very  unfavourable 
to  convalescence.  At  other  times,  when  he  is  not  in  the 
humour  to  attend  to  reading,  she  will  strive  to  converse 
with  him  on  agreeable  and  lively  topics,  also  foreign  to 
his  state  of  health,  or  if  she  revert  to  that,  it  will  be  with 
the  view  of  encouraging  him  to  look  forward  to  the  enjoy- 
ment of  renewed  health ;  and,  if  that  be  improbable,  she 
will  discover  other  sources  of  comfort  with  which  to  cheer 
and  solace  him. 

MRS.  L. — You  make  the  character  of  the  good  nurse 
rather  an  arduous  one ;  and  to  attain  it,  must  require  the 
abandonment  of  every  selfish  feeling.  I  am  afraid  there 
are  many  who  would  find  it  no  easy  task  to  personate  the 
character  of  the  good  nurse,  for  any  length  of  time.  Will 
you,  now,  oblige  me  with  some  particulars  relative  to  the 
management  of  children  when  they  are  ill  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  chief  difficulties  in  nursing  sick  child- 
ren, are  the  impossibility  of  particularly  ascertaining 
the  symptoms  of  their  indisposition,  and,  also,  the  trouble 
of  administering  medicine  to  them.  In  infancy  the  former 
difficulty  is  unavoidable ;  but  I  believe  that  the  latter  is 
frequently  owing  to  early  mismanagement.  I  have 
known  children  upon  whom  hours  of  entreaty  were  wasted 
in  persuading  them  to  take  a  dose  of  medicine,  and  even 
then  without  success,  until  some  bribe  had  been  added ; 
while  other  children,  merely  to  obtain  their  mother's 
approbation,  and  with  no  other  reward  than  this,  except 


SICKNESS  OF  CHILDREN.  241 

perhaps  the  additional  privilege  of  breakfasting  with  her 
on  the  morning  on  which  the  physic  was  to  be  taken,  have 
swallowed  it  down  as  soon  as  it  was  presented  to  them. 
It  is  the  early  subjection  of  a  child's  will  to  that  of  his 
parents  which  renders  his  management  easy,  either  in 
sickness  or  in  health. 

There  have  been  instances  of  child- 
ren falling  a  sacrifice  to  their  own  wil- 
fulness,  in  refusing  to  take  medicines 
when  it  has  been  absolutely  necessary. 
To  prevent  this,  a  spoon  has  been  in- 
vented, by  which  medicines  in  a  fluid 
form  can  easily  be  administered  to 
any  child.  The  bowl  of  this  spoon, 
«,  will  contain  as  much  as  a  desert 
spoon,  but  is  made  rather  longer  and 
not  so  wide ;  it  has  a  short  hollow 
handle,  6,  which  has  an  opening  both 
into  the  bowl  of  the  spoon,  at  c,  and 
at  d,  the  opposite  extremity.  A  lid  e, 
which  opens  with  a  hinge  f,  covers  the 
spoon,  except  near  the  lip  g>  where 
a  space  is  left  to  allow  the  contents 
of  the  spoon  to  be  poured  out.  In  using  it,  the  lid  is  raised 
to  admit  the  dose  of  medicine  to  be  poured  into  it,  after 
which  it  is  closely  shut  down :  and  the  effect  is  such,  that 
when  a  finger  is  pressed  upon  the  open  extremity  of  the 
handle,  scarcely  any  of  the  liquid  escapes,  in  whatever 
position  the  spoon  is  held.  After  the  spoon  is  filled,  it 
should  be  held  firmly  in  the  right  hand,  the  middle  finger 
of  which  must  press  upon,  and  close  the  orifice  at  the  end 
of  the  handle.  The  child  should  then  be  laid,  backward, 
on  the  knee,  his  head  reclining  on  the  left  arm ;  and,  as 
soon  as  the  spoon  is  fairly  in  the  mouth,  let  it  be  pressed 
down  upon  the  tongue,  when,  by  removing  the  finger  from 
21 


242  SICKNESS  OF  CHILDREN 

the  opening  of  the  handle,  the  whole  dose  will  be  suddenly 
projected  into  the  stomach  of  the  child.* 

MRS.  L. — I  have  frequently  observed,  that  when  a  child 
is  ill,  the  servants  crowd  into  the  room,  under  the  pretence 
of  nursing  the  invalid,  although  I  suspect  they  meet  there 
for  their  own  amusement,  and  to  gossip.  This  surely  is 
improper ;  and  the  noise  and  bustle  which  they  may  cause, 
do  much  harm  to  the  invalid.  Are  not  these  sufficient 
reasons  for  prohibiting  the  custom  ? 

MRS.  B.— Certainly.  And,  besides  the  evils  which  you 
have  noticed,  they  frequently  take  with  them  cakes  and 
sweetmeats,  and  tempt  the  sick  child  to  eat  them,  at  a 
time  when  abstinence  is  perhaps  the  chief  medicine  he 
requires ;  a  remedy  which  servants  are  very  apt  to  con- 
sider as  the  greatest  punishment  that  can  be  inflicted  on 
any  one.  From  a  mistaken  kindness,  they  think  it  neces- 
sary to  induce  the  invalid  to  eat,  even  when  the  orders  of 
his  doctor  forbid  it ;  and  when  his  own  disinclination  for 
food  indicates  the  necessity  of  abstinence. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  heard  sensible  people  say,  that  during 
the  illness  of  a  child,  it  is  desirable  not  to  indulge  it  more 
than  usual,  if  possible.  This  is  a  hard  task  for  a  mother, 
whose  increased  anxiety  and  desire  to  promote  the  com- 
fort of  a  sick  child,  often  gain  the  ascendancy  over  her 
judgment. 

MRS.  B. — The  weakness  of  a  parent  at  such  a  time 
may  be  excused,  although  it  would  spare  her  a  harassing 
struggle  for  supremacy,  upon  the  recovery  of  her  child,  if 
she  could,  while  watching  over  the  symptoms,  and  adminis- 
tering every  proper  remedy,  hide  some  part  of  her  tender- 
ness and  solicitude  from  the  object  of  her  care.  Too  much 
indulgence  during  illness  sometimes  induces  also  a  dispo- 
sition to  disingenuousness  in  children,  which  leads  them  to 

*  This  spoon,  which  was  invented  by  Dr.  A.  T.  Thomson,  of  Hind*- 
Street,  may  be  had  from  Mr.  Gibson,  silversmith,  71  Bishopsgate-Street 
within. 


SICKNESS  OF  SERVANTS.  243 

feign  or  to  exaggerate  the  account  of  their  symptoms, 
Unobserved  watchfulness  on  the  part  of  the  mother  is 
peculiarly  necessary  also,  when  the  child  becomes  conva- 
lescent, because  it  is  with  children  as  with  adults,  the 
more  the  attention  is  withdrawn  from  personal  feelings,  the 
more  favourably  will  the  recovery  proceed. 

The  complaints  of  children  are  generally  much  connected 
with  the  state  of  their  bowels.  On  the  first  appearance 
of  any  symptoms  of  illness,  these  should  be  freely  opened  ; 
and  if  no  amendment  afterwards  takes  place,  medical 
advice  should  be  instantly  obtained.  The  inspection  of 
the  evacuations  will  enable  some  opinion  to  be  formed  of 
the  nature  of  the  disease,  if  seated  in  the  bowels.  This 
inspection  should  not  be  intrusted  to  servants,  who,  either 
from  ignorance  or  carelessness,  may,  by  not  giving  a  proper 
account  of  it,  mislead  the  opinion  respecting  the  nature  of 
the  complaint. 

The  recovery  of  children  from  acute  diseases  requires 
much  care  and  watchfulness.  When  they  are  taken  out 
of  doors,  during  the  first  two  or  three  weeks  of  conva- 
lescence, their  mother  should  accompany  them,  to  prevent 
over-fatigue  in  walking,  or  in  any  exercise,  from  which 
fatal  consequences  have  been  sometimes  known  to  result 
It  is  also  desirable,  after  acute  diseases,  that  the  meals 
should  be  superintended  by  some  one  capable  of  prevent- 
ing errors,  both  in  respect  to  the  quantity  and  the  quality 
of  the  food.  The  state  of  the  bowels  must  also  be  attended 
to,  as  any  continued  irregularity  in  them  would  be  liable 
to  renew  the  disease,  or  to  render  recovery  lingering. 
Suitable  amusements  should  be  provided,  in  order  to  dis- 
pel any  approach  to  low  spirits,  and  to  fretfulness. 

MRS.  L. — How  should  servants  be  managed  when  ill  ? 

MRS.  B. — Servants,  when  ill,  require  the  same  kind  of 
management  as  children.    They  are  often  very  wayward, 
and  unwilling  to  take  the  medicines  prescribed  for  them 
On  this  account,  these  should  be  given  to  them  either  by 


£44  SICKNESS  OF  SERVANTS. 

their  mistress,  or  by  a  superior  servant  who  can  be  de- 
pended upon,  and  who  will  not,  from  false  kindness,  permit 
them  to  practise  any  deception  in  this  respect.  Their  aid, 
also,  is  requisite  to  look  after  other  servants  when  they 
are  ill  f  for,  if  left  to  themselves,  they  will  seldom,  on  the 
approach  of  recovery,  show  either  prudence  or  forbear- 
ance in  the  choice  and  quantity  of  their  food.  A  sick 
servant  should  be  seen  at  least  once  in  the  day  by  her 
mistress  ;  and,  if  possible,  also,  when  the  medical  visit  is 
paid.  It  is  a  part  of  the  domestic  duty  of  a  lady,  to  as- 
certain the  exact  state  of  any  invalid  among  her  household. 
When  there  is  a  want  either  of  comforts  or  of  cleanliness 
in  the  sick  room,  or  any  inattention  towards  the  invalid 
from  her  fellow-servants,  the  censure  belongs  undoubtedly 
to  the  head  of  the  family,  whose  general  superintendence 
would  have  secured  the  sick  person  from  neglect,  and 
whose  example  would  have  shamed  into  kindness  all  the 
unfeeling  or  careless  members  of  her  family. 

It  is  a  provoking  characteristic  of  servants,  that  they 
allow  themselves  to  be  completely  overtaken  by  illness, 
before  they  will  mention  it,  or  give  way  to  it  in  the  least. 
By  neglecting  to  take  early  notice  of  disease,  and  refusing 
alleviation  from  medicine  and  other  means,  it  gains  power ; 
and,  thus,  the  patient's  sufferings  and  the  general  incon- 
venience of  the  family  are  augmented,  merely,  I  believe, 
from  the  dread  of  being  doctored. 

If  the  illness  of  a  servant  be  of  short  duration,  the  work 
may  probably  be  managed  among  the  other  servants  ;  but 
if  it  be  protracted,  it  will  be  found  advisable  to  fill  up  the 
place  with  a  temporary  assistant,  lest  the  other  servants 
become  discontented  or  over-worked. 

Want  of  gratitude  in  servants,  who  have  experienced  the 
greatest  kindness  during  illness,  is  the  complaint  of  many; 
and  there  are  instances  to  justify  the  assertion,  although  I 
believe  there  are  as  many  proofs  of  grateful  attachment 
to  weigh  in  the  opposite  balance.  Yet,  if  we  do  meet 


SICKNESS.  245 

with  ingratitude,  our  cares  and  desire  to  do  good  should 
not  be  diminished,  since  in  no  instance  can  the  failings  of 
others  justify  any  omissions  in  kindness  or  duty  on  our 
part. 

MRS.  L. — Do  you  not  think  that  the  expenses  attendant 
t>n  the  illness  of  a  domestic  should  be  defrayed  by  her 
employer  ?  Perhaps  there  is  no  injustice  in  refusing  to  do 
so  ^  but  it  appears  to  me  to  be  an  unfeeling  act,  to  suffer 
the  small  earnings  of  a  servant's  labour  to  be  sunk  in  the 
heavy  expenses  of  an  illness,  incurred,  perhaps,  by  over- 
exertion,  or  by  the  discharge  of  some  of  the  duties  of  her 
place.  Are  you  of  this  opinion  ? 

MRS.  B. — Undoubtedly:  I  think  there  are  very  few 
cases  in  which  the  medical  debt  of  a  servant,  falling  ill 
while  discharging  her  duty  to  her  employers,  should  not 
be  defrayed  by  them  ;  and  by  them,  also,  should  the  ex- 
pense be  met  of  her  removal  into  the  country,  provided 
change  of  air  is  deemed  necessaiy  for  the  re-establish- 
ment of  health.  On  recovering  from  acute  diseases,  this 
change  is  generally  very  desirable  ;  but  unless  the  friends 
of  the  servant,  to  whom  it  is  natural  she  should  wish  to 
be  removed,  live  in  good  air,  and  are  able  to  provide  her 
with  suitable  nourishment,  her  strength  may  perhaps  return 
to  her  more  rapidly,  by  remaining  in  her  place,  in  pos- 
session of  the  comforts  necessary  for  the  entire  restoration 
of  her  strength. 

MRS.  L.— -How  inconvenient  must  be  the  illness  of  the 
mistress  of  a  family !  especially  if  of  any  length.  What 
embarrassment  it  may  occasion !  Without  the  hand  which 
regulates  and  keeps  the  whole  in  action,  I  am  afraid  the 
best  arranged  family  would  soon  betray  symptoms  of 
confusion. 

MRS.  B.— The  better  a  family  has  been  regulated,  the 

longer  will  it  continue  unchanged,  by  any  circumstances 

that  may  occur.     But  if  some  inconveniences  attend  the 

illness  of  the  heads  of  families,  some  advantages  may  be 

2.1* 


246  SICKNESS  OF 

I 

derived  from  them.  Under  such  circumstances  you  would 
have  an  opportunity  to  illustrate,  by  your  example,  the 
beauty  of  patience,  fortitude,  and  resignation.  At  the 
same  time,  the  exercise  of  these  qualities  would  not  forbid 
that  rational  solicitude  for  life,  which  induces  a  strict  ad- 
herence to  the  advice  and  measures  prescribed  for  your 
relief;  indeed,  as  a  wife  or  a  mother,  you  would  be  un- 
justifiable, were  you  to  neglect  the  proper  means  by  which 
you  might  be  restored  to  health  and  usefulness.  It  would 
be  deserting  your  duties,  and  valuing  too  cheaply  the  gift 
of  life,  not  to  avail  yourself  of  those  specifics  for  disease 
which  God  has  created,  and  of  which  human  knowledge 
has  discovered  the  application.  If  God  see  fit,  in  your 
case,  to  bless  the  means  employed  for  the  restoration  of 
your  health,  testify  your  gratitude  to  Him,  and  if  other- 
wise, teach  your  children  and  dependants  to  bow  submis- 
sively to  His  will. 

Our  own  illness  should  also  excite  in  us  thankful  and 
affectionate  feelings  towards  those  who  devote  themselves 
to  us,  during  our  continuance  in  this  state  of  dependence 
and  bodily  infirmity.  And  these  feelings  should  be  evinced 
by  giving  them  neither  unnecessary  trouble  nor  pain  by 
uttering  as  few  complaints  as  possible  ;  by  not  indulging 
irritable  and  pettish  feelings ;  and  by  receiving,  even  from 
the  humblest  of  our  attendants,  every  attention  with  thank- 
fulness. A  long  illness,  unfortunately,  has  not  always  these 
effects  ;  but  tends,  rather,  to  render  us  selfish  and  regard- 
less of  those,  who,  in  their  attendance  upon  us,  undergo 
many  privations  of  rest  and  comfort,  great  fatigue  of 
body,  and  much  anxiety  of  mind. 

As  soon  as  we  become  convalescent,  we  should  show 
that  it  is  our  desire  not  to  continue,  longer  than  necessary, 
helpless  and  burdensome ;  and  as  each  day  brings  back 
some  portion  of  our  strength,  it  should  also  witness  some 
few  efforts,  on  our  part,  of  returning  usefulness,  although 
this  should  be  done  cautiously,  and  without  the  risk  of 


HEADS    OP   FAMILIES.  247 

incurring  fatigue  beyond  our  powers.  We  may,  very 
properly,  be  desirous  not  to  set  a  bad  example  to  others 
of  over-indulgence  ;  but  still  we  must  be  prudent,  and  not 
throw  ourselves  back  into  disease,  by  any  exertion  to 
which  our  strength  is  unequal.  As  the  mind  is  weak- 
ened, as  well  as  the  body,  by  illness,  we  should  be  upon 
our  guard  to  resist  improper  interference,  however  well 
meant.  Thus  nurses  are  apt  to  place  their  wisdom  in 
competition  with  that  of  the  medical  gentleman  who  at- 
tends ;  and  to  endeavour,  when  he  is  absent,  to  undermine 
the  confidence  of  the  patient  in  him.  Sometimes  they  are 
urgent  that  a  favourite  nostrum  should  be  tried,  of  the 
success  of  which  they  appear  to  be  so  certain,  that  an 
invalid  much  enfeebled  by  illness  has  scarcely  resolution 
to  resist  their  solicitations.  Yet,  if  you  value  your  life,  do 
not  put  it  thus  in  the  charge  of .  ignorance,  when  know- 
ledge and  talent  are  within  your  reach. 

MRS.  L. — I  hope  I  shall  never  be  so  weakened  by  ill- 
ness as  to  lose  sight  of  the  boundary  beyond  which  no 
nurse  should  pass  :  but  I  wish  to  ask  you  if  it  would  not 
be  desirable  for  the  mother  or  mistress  of  a  family  to  have 
a  general  knowledge  of  the  nature  and  treatment  of  those 
diseases  which  may  some  time  or  other  occur  in  her 
house  ?  I  do  not  mean  that  her  knowledge  should  be  of 
that  kind,  or  of  sufficient  extent,  to  render  her  presump- 
tuous, and  to  prompt  her  to  depend  too  much  on  her  own 
judgment,  or  induce  her  to  attempt,  herself,  the  cure  of 
such  complaints.  This  I  know  you  would  properly  con- 
demn, considering  it  as  an  error  liable  to  entail  fatal  con- 
sequences. The  knowledge  which  it  appears  to  me  well 
to  possess,  may  be  termed  extra-professional ;  and  should 
include  the  treatment  of  any  disease  on  those  points  which 
do  not  come  within  the  pale  of  medical  jurisdiction. 

MRS.  B. — What  you  have  just  said,  reminds  me,  that  in 
my  desk  I  have  a  paper  drawn  up  by  a  professional  gen- 
tleman, and  which  will,  I  think,  furnish  you  with  the  inibr- 


248  CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES. 

mation  you  require ;  at  least  as  far  as  regards  the  nursing 
and  attention  which  diseases  require  from  the  unprofes- 
sional attendant.  Omitting  a  prefatory  remark,  addressed 
to  me  individually,  I  will  read  it  to  you. 

t(  It  is  of  considerable  importance  to  acquire  the  know- 
ledge of  the  class  to  which  any  disease  belongs ;  as  it 
allays  unnecessary  fears,  inspires  confidence  in  the  attend- 
ants of  the  sick  room,  and  points  out  the  means  by  which 
contagious  and  infectious  ailments  may  be  prevented  from 
extending. 

All  diseases  may  be  regarded,  by  the  unprofessional 
observer,  as  belonging  to  one  or  other  of  the  three  follow- 
ing classes  : — 1.  Contagious  diseases.  2.  Infectious  dis- 
eases. 3.  Non-contagious  diseases. 

Your  medical  man  will  tell  you  the  name  of  any  com- 
plaint which  may  occur  in  your  house  ;  and  by  referring 
to  the  following  list  you  will  find  to  which  of  the  three 
classes  it  belongs. 

1.  CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES  are  those  which  are  commu- 
nicated from  one  individual  to  another,  by  touch  or  imme- 
diate contact.  They  may  be  also  conveyed  by  the  clothes, 
or  bedding  of  the  patient.  They  are  happily  few  in 
number ;  and  the  following  are  the  chief  diseases  of  this 
description : — 

a.  Mumps,  which  are  characterized  by  painful  swellings 
of  the  glands  at  the  angles  of  the  jaws,  and  attended  by 
an  intermittent  fever,  require  that  the  patient  be  kept  in  a 
moderate  temperature ;  and  that  warmth  be  maintained 
in  the  swellings  by  flannels.     In  this  disease,  sudden  ex- 
posure to  cold  is  apt  to  repel  the  swelling  in  the  glands  of 
the  face  and  neck,  and  to  cause  the  formation  of  sympa- 
thetic swellings  in  other  parts  of  the  body.     The  diet 
should  be  of  a  vegetable  and  farinaceous  kind. 

b.  Purulent  Ophthalmia.    In  this  affection,  the  discharge 
from  the  eyes  is  capable  of  communicating  the  disease, 
»f  applied  to  the  eyes  of  a  healthy  person.    The  towels, 


CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES.  249 

therefore,  of  the  patient  should  not  be  used  by  other  per- 
sons ;  and  the  nurse  or  any  other  attendant,  immediately 
after  having  syringed  or  washed  the  eyes  of  the  patient, 
should  wash  her  hands.  Also  in  syringing  the  patient's 
eyes,  care  should  be  taken  that  none  of  the  discharge 
spurts  into  the  eyes  of  the  attendant.  A  child  afflicted 
with  purulent  ophthalmia  should  be  kept  apart  from  other 
children ;  and  should  not  even  sleep  with  the  mother  or 
the  nurse. 

c.  Erysipelas  is  distinguished  by  diffused  swelling,  ac- 
companied with  a  red  blush  or  suffusion  on  the  face,  arms 
or  legs,  which  feel   burning  hot,  and  is  attended  with 
symptoms  of  fever.     The  apartment  of  the  patient  should 
be  cool  and  well  ventilated ;    and  the  changes  of  linen 
should  be  frequent.     When  vesication  takes  place,  the 
nurse  should  cover  any  scratch  in  her  hand  with  oil  or 
lard,  when  touching  the  discharge  ;  and,  immediately  after 
she  has  been  handling  the  parts,  should  wash  her  hands 
with  soap  and  warm  water.     All  the  directions  of  the 
medical  attendant  regarding  local  applications  should  be 
strictly  obeyed.    The  diet  should  be  of  a  vegetable  and 
farinaceous  kind. 

d.  Ringworm  of  the  Scalp.    This  disease  appears  in 
distinct  patches,  of  a  nearly  circular  form,  of  small  yellow 
pustules  upon  the  hairy  scalp,  the  forehead,  and  the  neck. 
Sometimes  the  hair  falls  off  at  these  patches,  and  the  cir- 
cles remain  red,  scurfy,  and  dry.     Children  who  are 
affected  with  this  disease  of  the  head  should  be  separated 
from  other  children ;  and  great  attention  is  requisite  to 
apply  regularly  the  ointments  which  are  necessary  for 
stimulating  the  scalp,  and  exciting  a  more  healthy  action 
in  the  diseased  vessels  of  the  affected  parts.    It  is  a  dis- 
ease which  often  resists  every  remedy ;  but  as  it  may  be 
safely  treated  by  local  applications,  T  may  venture  to  men- 
tion a  generally  successful  mode  of  managing  it,  when  the 
patches  become  dry  and  inert.    In  this  state,  let  the  head 


260  INFECTIOUS  DISEASES. 

be  shaved,  then  wash  it  well  with  warm  water  and  soap; 
and  apply  to  the  affected  spots  a  solution  of  nitrate  01 
silver,  in  the  proportion  of  six  grains  to  an  ounce  of  distilled 
water,  until  it  occasion  a  slight  soreness  of  the  surface, 
which  may  afterwards  be  healed  by  the  common  tar  oint- 
ment. When  this  fails,  the  cuticle  may  be  destroyed  by 
pencilling  it  with  strong  acetic  acid ;  and  afterwards  heal- 
ing the  sore  thus  produced  with  tar  ointment.  Another 
method  is  to  apply  a  depilatory  ointment,  composed  of 
equal  parts  of  weak  quicklime,  alum,  oxyd  of  iron,  and 
carbonate  of  potash,  mixed  up  with  a  sufficient  quantity  of 
lard.  During  this  application,  which  must  be  confined  to 
the  affected  parts,  the  hairs  and  scurf  must  be  removed  by 
washing  with  soap  and  water. 

1  In  the  non-tontagious  scald-head,  danger  has  sometime* 
followed  a  sudden  retrocession  of  the  eruption  ;  and,  there- 
fore, the  application  of  local  remedies  should  never  be 
tried  without  medical  advice. 

.e.  Itch.  It  is  scarcely  requisite  to  caution  a  mistress  to 
separate  from  the  rest  of  the  family  the  individual  who 
may,  unfortunately,  have  caught  this  disease.  It  is  never 
a  primary  disease,  except  in  the  lowest  and  most  uncleanly 
of  the  poor ;  but  is  generally  communicated  by  close  in- 
tercourse with  an  affected  person.  It  is  not  difficult  to 
cure  ;  and  unless  under  some  very  peculiar  circumstances, 
no  risk  attends  the  use  of  local  applications  for  that  pur- 
pose. The  best  ointment  is  composed  of  equal  parts  (say 
an  ounce)  of  sulphur,  of  bay-berries  finely  powered,  and 
of  white  vitriol  (sulphate  of  zinc),  and  ten  drops  of 
essence  of  bergamot ;  the  whole  of  which  must  be  mixed 
up  into  an  ointment,  with  olive  oil.  The  half  of  the  body 
should  be  anointed  with  this  every  night ;  and  at  the  same 
time,  and  each  morning,  a  tea-spoonful  of  sulphur  should 
be  taken  internally. 

2.  INFECTIOUS  DISEASES  are  those  which  can  be  com- 
municated from  one  individual  to  another,  through  the  me- 


INFECTIOUS  DISEASES.  251 

dram  of  the  air.    The  following  are  generally  regarded  as 
of  this  description : 

a.  Hooping-cough*  the  symptoms  of  which  have  been 
already  noticed,  requires  that  the  patient  be  kept  in  a  room 
well  ventilated,  but  free  from  currents  of  air,  and  of  a 
summer  temperature  ;  while  a  strict  adherence  to  a  milk 
and  vegetable  diet  has  been  found  beneficial. 

b.  Dysentery  is  characterized  by  the  purging  or'  mucous 
or  gelatinous  matter  mixed  with  blood ;  a  constant  inclina- 
tion to  stool,  and  continued  fever  :  it  requires  free  ventila- 
tion, cool  apartments,  frequent  changes  of  linen,  and  the 
instant  removal  of  all  evacuations. 

c.  Scarlet  Fever,  which  has  been  already  described,  re- 
quires a  cool  apartment,  very  free  ventilation,  and  frequent 
changes  of  linen.     The  attendant  should  always  stand  to 
windward  of  the  patient.     As  scarlet  fever  occurs  only 
once  in  life  ;  in  choosing  a  sick  nurse,  the  fact  of  her  having 
had  the  disease  should  be  ascertained.     She  should,  also, 
have  good  sight,  and  a  steady  hand,  as  in  bad  cases  of 
ulceration  of  the  throat,  the  ulcers  are  required  to  be 
syringed  and  touched  with  various  local  applications  by 
the  nurse. 

d.  Measles  have  also  been  described.     They  require  a 
warm,  or  at  least,  a  temperate  apartment,  free  from  cur- 
rents of  air.     All  sudden  alternations  of  heat  and  cold  are 
dangerous.     Clean  linen  should  be  very  carefully  aired. 
Stimulants,  such  as  saffron  and  camphor,  which  are  some- 
times advised  to  be  given  by  ignorant  nurses,  with  the 
view  of  throwing  out  the  eruption,  are  highly  dangerous. 
The  diet  should  be  farinaceous,  the  beverage,  toast  and 
water,  rennet  whey,  barley  water,  and  thin  gruel. 

e.  Small-pox.    In  this  loathsome  disease,  the  apartments 
should  be  capacious,  cool,  and  well  ventilated.     The  win- 
dows should  be  open  day  and  night,  and  the  linen  daily 
changed ;  indeed,  during  the  maturation  of  the  pustules, 
it  should  be  changed  twice  in  the  course  of  the  day.    The 


252  INFECTIOUS  DISEASES. 

patient  should  be  often  taken  out  of  bed  and  carried  into 
the  open  air.  Other  children  in  a  family  should  be  pro- 
hibited from  entering  the  sick  room,  even  if  they  have 
been  vaccinated ;  but  they  need  not  leave  the  house,  as 
the  infectious  exhalation  from  the  body  of  the  patient  is 
soon  diluted,  and  rendered  inert  in  the  atmosphere.  After 
the  disease  is  over,  the  room  should  be  carefully  fumigated, 
and  the  bed  and  bedding  scoured.  The  diet  should  be  of 
farinaceous  substances ;  milk,  ripe  acidulous  fruits ;  and 
the  drink  should  consist  of  toast  and  water,  lemonades,  and 
whey 

f.  Chicken-pox  differs  from  small  pox  not  only  in  the  in- 
tensity of  the  fever,  but  in  the  character  of  the  eruption, 
which  is  vesicular,  instead  of  being  pustular.     The  vesi- 
cles seem  as  if  formed  by  sprinkling  boiling  water  from  a 
loose  brush  over  the  body.     It  requires  the  same  nursing 
as  small-pox ;  but  less  attention,  as  it  is  a  milder  disease. 

g.  Typhus  Fever.    Tn  this  formidable  disease  it  is  neces- 
sary to  impress  on  the  minds  of  nurses,  and  the  other  attend- 
ants in  the  sick-room,  that  the  effluvia  by  which  this  dis- 
ease is  communicated,  is  more  concentrated,  and,  conse- 
quently, more  virulent,  in  a  stagnant  than  in  a  free  air ; 
hence  the  advantage  of  free  ventilation,  both  for  the  sake 
of  the  patient,  and  of  the  nurse  and  the  attendants.    If 

•the  apartment  be  large,  airy,  and  clean,  and  the  attendants 
keep  to  the  windward  of  the  patient,  there  is  little  danger 
of  the  infection  of  typhus  proving  injurious. 

The  diet  should  be  chiefly  farinaceous,  with  milk  and 
light  broths.  The  quantity  of  wine  ordered  by  the  medi- 
cal attendants  should  be  strictly  administered,  but  not 
exceeded. 

The  sheets  and  body-linen  ought  to  be  changed  twice 
in  the  twenty-four  hours ;  and  instantly  removed  from  the 
room,  as  well  as  all  the  evacuations.  Some  people  ima- 
gine there  is  less  danger  of  infection  from  the  linen  which  is 
brought  from  the  invalid,  if  it  be  immersed  in  cold  water  as 


INFECTIOUS  DISEASES.  253 

boon  as  it  is  removed  from  the  room ;  and  they  recommend 
that  tubs  of  cold  water  should  stand  by  the  chamber-door  in 
readiness  for  the  linen,  and  as  soon  as  it  is  plunged  in,  that 
it  should  be  carried  to  the  laundress,  who,  as  well  as  the 
other  individuals  who  are  obliged  to  handle  the  linen,  will 
not  be  so  liable  to  suffer  from  it,  as  if  it  had  not  undergone 
this  immersion.  It  is  useful  to  mix  the  water  into  which 
the  linen  is  thrown  with  some  of  the  chloride  of  lime  ;* 
and,  if  some  of  this  fluid  be  put  into  the  bed-pan  or  night- 
chair,  the  air  of  the  chamber  will  be  kept  free  from  foetid 
odours. 

h.  Consumption.  In  this  melancholy  disease,  the  patient 
should  sleep  alone.  The  apartment  should  be  large  and 
well  ventilated  :  but  the  temperature  should  be  mild  and 
as  equable  as  possible :  it  should  not  exceed  60°  or  65° 
Fahr.  The  diet  should  be  light,  consisting  chiefly  of  milk; 
vegetables,  raisins,  and  farinaceous  substances.  The  food 
should  be  taken  in  small  quantities,  and  at  long  intervals, 
The  invalid  should  take  moderate  exercise,  either  in  a 
carriage  or  on  horseback ;  sailing  and  swinging  are  also 
desirable  in  fine  mild  weather. 

When  contagious,  or  infectious  diseases,  unfortunately, 
break  out  in  a  family,  it  is  necessary  to  instil  into  the  minds 
of  your  nurses  and  servants,  both  by  precept  and  by  per- 
sonal example,  the  necessity  of  maintaining  a  fearless  mind 
in  their  intercourse  with  the  sick  ;  for  nothing  renders  the 
habit  so  susceptible  of  the  poison  of  contagion  or  of 
infection,  as  fear,  and  any  of  the  depressing  passions.  The 
diet  of  those  who  attend  in  the  sick-room,  should  be  more 
generous  than  usual ;  and  they  should  be  instructed  never 
to  lean  over  the  patient,  and  always  to  stand  on  that  side 
of  the  bed  from  which  the  current  of  air,  which  is  admitted 
into  the  room,  is  flowing.  A  fire  in  a  sick-room,  if  it  be 

*  Or  common  ley.  Strong  ley,  or  pyroligncous  acid,  may  also  be  advau- 
ttgeousiy  put  into  the  night-chair.— Jlmer.  Ed 

22        :•*•• 


254  NON-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES 

a  spacious  apartment,  is  useful  in  winter,  for  promoting 
ventilation  ;  but,  with  the  exception  of  measles  and  hoop- 
ing-cough, contagious  and  infectious  diseases  require  cool 
air.  Cleanliness  in  every  respect,  both  as  regards  the 
ablution  of  the  body  of  the  patient,  and  frequent  changes 
of  linen,  and  the  immediate  removal  from  the  room  ot 
every  thing  likely  to  create  a  smell,  are  essential  in  every 
sick  room  ;  but  more  particularly  when  the  diseases  are 
either  contagious  or  infectious.  By  such  management, 
and  with  due  precaution,  diseases  of  these  classes  rarely 
extend. 

3.  NON-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES  comprehend  all  those 
which  are  incidental  to  the  body,  and  which  have  not 
been  enumerated  under  the  heads  contagious  and  infectious. 
Although  they  are  too  numerous  to  be  particularly  noticed, 
yet  a  few  hints  regarding  the  nursing,  and -the  extra-pro- 
fessional attention  which  they  require,  may  be  given  under 
the  heads  of  inflammatory  diseases,  and  diseases  of  debility. 

a.  Inflammatory  diseases.  Except  when  the  chest  is  the 
seat  of  disease,  these  diseases  require  a  low  or  cold  tem 
perature,  and  free  ventilation ;  and  even  when  the  lungs 
are  affected,  the  temperature  should  not  be  high,  but  in 
ventilating  the  apartments,  currents  of  air  should  be  care- 
fully avoided.  Directions  regarding  diet  are  generally 
given  by  the  medical  attendant ;  but  when  this  is  not  the 
case,  it  may  be  laid  down  as  a  general  rule,  to  avoid  giving 
animal  food,  wine,  spirits,  porter,  or  any  stimulant,  in  this 
class  of  complaints.  The  best  diet  consists  of  fruit,  arrow- 
root, and  similar  farinaceous  substances  ;  the  drink  should 
be  toast  and  water,  weak  tea,  rennet  whey,  and  lemonade. 

The  medical  treatment  of  inflammatory  complaints  is 
generally  more  active  than  in  nervous  affections ;  and  as 
they  run  their  course  very  rapidly,  very  much  depends  on 
strict  attention  to  the  directions  of  the  physician  or  medi- 
cal practitioner,  both  as  regards  regimen  and  medicine. 
It  is  not  to  be  imagined  that  a  medicine  may  be  given  at 


NON-COHTAGIOUS  DISEASES.  256 

any  time,  in  diseases  of  this  kind ;  for  in  none  does  the 
practitioner  more  decidedly  calculate  upon  its  effects,  and 
unless  it  be  given  at  the  prescribed  periods,  he  cannot  be 
answerable  for  the  result.  The  intention  of  giving  drugs 
in  divided  doses,  is  to  renew  or  maintain  some  specific 
effect,  which  they  are  intended  to  produce  in  the  habit ; 
and  unless  this  be  done,  no  progress  can  be  made  towards 
a  cure.  The  practice  of  giving  remedies,  at  distant  and 
irregular  intervals,  may  be  said  to  resemble  what  is  termed 
marking  time  in  the  evolutions  of  the  soldier,  who  appears 
in  this  manoeuvre  to  be  marching,  but  never  advances  from 
the  spot  on  which  he  originally  stood.  This  admonition 
regarding  the  administering  medicines  as  ordered,  is,  espe- 
cially, directed  to  those  mothers,  whose  ill-judged  tender- 
ness and  indulgence  make  them  yield  to  the  entreaties  of 
their  invalid  children,  to  be  spared  an  occasional  dose  of 
medicine. 

When  it  is  desirable  to  promote  perspiration,  the  common 
error  of  supposing  that  this  is  to  be  produced  by  external 
heat,  or  by  drinking  hot  liquids,  should  be  avoided :  on 
the  contrary,  a  copious  draught  of  cold  water  and  light 
bed  coverings,  often  aid  perspiration,  independent  of  the 
medicines  which  are  given  to  produce  that  effect,  by  di- 
minishing the  heat  and  excitement  of  fever. 

In  convalescence  from  acute  diseases,  relations  and 
nurses  are  generally  too  anxious  to  recruit  the  strength,  and 
in  their  over-haste  to  get  the  patient  well,  often  do  much 
harm,  and  bring  on  a  renewal  of  the  disease.  A  relapse, 
in  proportion  as  the  habit  is  debilitated,  is  more  hazardous 
than  the  first  attack  of  a  disease,  and  the  recovery  more 
protracted,  if  it  ultimately  take  place.  Both  food  and 
exercise  should  be  restricted  for  some  time  after  an  acute 
disease  is  cured ;  and  the  patient  should  be  guided  towards 
health,  like  an  infant  in  his  first  efforts  to  walk.  He  should 
proceed  timidly  and  very  gradually,  in  renewing  all  his 
former  habits  and  employments.  Recovery  is  often 


£56  NON-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES. 

impeded  by  too  great  an  anxiety  to  return  to  the  pursuits 
either  of  business  or  pleasure,  which  had  engaged  the 
patient's  attention  previous  to  his  illness.  In  young  pa- 
tients it  is  absolutely  necessary  to  restrain  the  appetite, 
which,  during  convalescence,  frequently  becomes  vora- 
cious, and  all  the  bad  effects  of  over-indulgence  would 
follow,  if  it  were  not  for  the  control  of  the  parent. 

When  it  is  necessary  to  bleed  a  patient  in  an  inflamma- 
tory disease,  it  is  absurd  and  annoying  to  the  surgeon  to 
prepare,  as  is  usual,  the  scent-bottle,  and  other  means  to 
prevent  fainting ;  for  his  object,  in  general,  is  to  produce 
that  very  effect,  which  these- volatile  bodies  are  intended 
to  counteract.  No  interference  of  this  kind,  on  the  part 
of  the  nurses,  should  be  permitted;  and  if  a  patient  faint, 
he  should  be  left  with  entire  confidence  to  the  care  of  the 
surgeon.  The  cups  containing  the  blood,  without  being 
agitated,  should  be  set  aside  in  a  cool  place.  The  ap- 
pearance of  the  vital  fluid  when  taken  by  the  lancet  from 
the  arm,  or  any  other  part,  in  a  continued  stream,  after 
standing  some  time,  often  determines  the  necessity  of  re- 
peating the  operation. 

When  danger  is  apprehended,  and  indeed  in  the  sick 
room  at  all  times,  the  countenances  of  relations  and  attend- 
ants should  not  betray  the  anxiety  which  they  feel.  Those 
who  cannot  command  their  feelings  are  unfit  to  enter  the 
apartment  of  an  invalid.  A  cheerful  countenance,  a  cool 
collected  manner,  lively  conversation  when  talking  is  advi- 
sable, and  gentleness  in  performing  any  little  office  about 
the  patient,  with  a  steady  manner  to  carry  through  the  ob- 
ject required,  are  qualifications  of  great  importance  in  the 
attendants  of  patients  suffering  from  acute  diseases.  Pain 
is  often  forgotten  when  the  attention  is  diverted  from  the 
seat  of  it,  and  nature  is  then  left  to  pursue  her  remedial 
efforts  undisturbed,  and  with  a  greater  certainty  of  success. 

2.  Diseases  of  Debility. — Under  this  term  may  be  com- 
prehended all  those  diseases,  which  are  chiefly  attended 


N02sT-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES.  257 

by  a  disordered  state  of  the  digestive  organs,  and  of  the 
nervous  system  ;  and  these,  consequently,  have  more  or 
Jess  a  considerable  influence  on  the  rnind.  They  require, 
therefore,  both  physical  and  moral  management. 

The  physical  management  consists  in  attention  to  diet, 
clothing,  arid  exercise.  In  weakened  digestions,  every  ar- 
ticle of  diet  which  is  likely  to  prove  acescent  should  be 
avoided  ;  such  as  every  thing  termed  a  made  dish,  pastry, 
sweet  things  of  every  description,  and  raw  vegetable 
matter.  Animal  food,  if  of  a  mild  quality,  is  more  diges- 
tible than  vegetable,  and  solids  are  more  digestible  than 
fluids.  Flatulent  food  is  particularly  injurious,  as  it  not 
only  oppresses  the  stomach  by  the  distension  it  causes,  but 
occasions  hypochondriasis  and  depressed  spirits.  If  no 
organic  affection  be  present,  spiced  food  and  other  stimu- 
lant articles  of  diet  may  be  permitted,  but  in  this  the 
directions  of  the  medical  man  should  be  solicited.  Al- 
though salt  be  an  assistant  to  digestion,  yet  salted  meat, 
such  as  ham,  bacon,  hung  beef,  and  similar  articles,  are 
very  indigestible.  Animal  food  is  easier  of  digestion,  and 
more  nutritious  than  fish,  but  it  is  also  more  heating.  A 
weak  person  should  eat,  at  least,  four  times  in  the  day, 
and  the  first  and  second  meal,  or  breakfast  and  dinner, 
should  be  the  most  substantial  of  the  meals.  In  debili- 
tated habits,  an  early  dinner  is  preferable  to  a  late  one, 
and,  in  this  case,  a  supper  is  requisite ;  and  although  a 
little  animal  food  may  sometimes  be  admissible,  yet  as  a 
general  rule  meat  suppers  are  injurious. 

With  regard  to  clothing ;  in  diseases  of  debility,  and 
particularly  those  connected  with  the  stomach  and  diges- 
tive organs,  it  is  of  great  importance  to  maintain  the  due 
action  of  the  skin.  The  clothing  therefore  should  be  suited 
for  this  purpose,  warm  but  not  heavy  ;  the  extremities  in 
particular  should  be  kept  of  an  equable  and  natural  tem- 
perature. 

22* 


258  NON-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES. 

Much  depends  on  exercise ;  especially  for  children  la* 
bouring  under  diseases  of  debility.  The  long-continued 
efforts  of  a  judicious  and  skilful  medical  attendant  may  be 
completely  overthrown,  although  on  the  point  of  being 
successful,  by  a  child  being  overwalked.  Weak  and  de- 
licate children  should  be  allowed  and  encouraged  to  run 
about  in  situations,  where  each  effort  can  be  followed  by 
a  temporary  rest,  that  is,  where  they  can  either  run,  walk, 
or  sit  down,  as  inclination  prompts  them,  but  they  should 
never  be  compelled  to  take  a  walk.  Either  horse  exercise, 
sailing,  or  riding,  in  debilitated  habits,  is  to  be  preferred 
to  waiking ;  and  all  exercise  should  be  taken  by  invalids 
in  the  morning  and  early  part  of  the  day ;  for  they  gene- 
rally experience  in  the  evening  a  low  kind  of  fever  from 
the  efforts  of  the  day. 

With  respect  to  the  moral  management ;  it  should  always 
be  remembered,  that  in  every  case  of  debility  the  nervous 
system  is  very  susceptible  to  impressions  ;  and,  therefore, 
the  conduct  of  parents  and  attendants  towards  children 
should  be  accordingly  regulated.  If  too  much  tenderness 
and  sympathy  be  shown  to  them,  the  already  morbid  sus- 
ceptibility is  increased,  and  the  patient  is  rendered  too 
much  alive  to  personal  feelings  and  comforts ;  and  many 
circumstances,  which  would  be  otherwise  overlooked,  be- 
come sources  of  irritation  and  annoyance. 

In  nervous  affections,  sympathy  is  very  injurious  to  the 
patient,  whose  attention  cannot  be  too  much  weaned  from 
his  own  feelings.  Medical  men,  who  have  studied  the 
human  mind  as  well  as  the  body,  have  judged  it  expedient, 
and  have  found  it  not  difficult,  to  lead  a  hypochondriac  to 
believe  that  he  is  afflicted  with  some  disease,  the  symp- 
toms of  which  the  doctor  chooses  to  enumerate,  and  con- 
siders as  connected  with  that  disease.  He  should  enjoin 
the  relatives  or  the  friends  of  an  hypochondriac  to  display 
a  certain  degree  of  indifference  to  his  complaints,  and 
always  to  endeavour  to  keep  up  in  his  mind  the  belief  that 


NOK-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES.  259 

he  is  capable  of  sharing,  both  in  the  business  and  amuse- 
ments of  the  family. 

Frequent  change  of  society,  which  imposes  on  the 
patient  some  little  restraint  of  his  feelings,  and  compels 
him  to  a  degree  of  mental  exertion  on  subjects  uncon- 
nected with  himself,  has  been  in  some  cases  found  to  be 
beneficial ;  but,  unfortunately,  this  remedy  is  the  one  most 
repugnant  to  the  feelings  of  the  hypochondriac,  who  would, 
if  he  could,  shut  himself  up  from  the  observation  of  every 
one,  and  give  free  indulgence  to  his  melancholy  thoughts. 
And  rarely  is  it  that  those  around  him  have  courage  and 
steadiness  enough  to  enforce  a  plan  of  this  kind,  the  bare 
mention  of  which  occasions  a  distressing  degree  of 
irritation. 

With  young  people  it  is  less  difficult  than  with  their 
seniors  to  effect  a  change  in  the  circumstances  of  their 
situation,  and  to  remove  them  from  under  the  influence  of 
their  friends,  whose  mode  of  treatment  has,  from  the  pe- 
culiar tendencies  of  the  invalids,  been  unfavourable  to 
them.  In  the  case  of  a  young  lady  whose  mother  was  too 
indulgent,  this  plan  met  with  complete  success.  She  was 
so  much  the  object  of  her  mother's  attentive  and  anxious 
cares,  that  every  little  feeling  which  she  experienced,  be- 
came a  matter  of  consequence,  and  of  medical  treatment ; 
and  at  length  she  did  little  else  than  recline  the  whole  day 
on  a  sofa,  complaining  of  a  thousand  ailments  which  ex- 
isted only  in  her  imagination.  She  never  rose  to  breakfast, 
but  considered  herself  to  be  in  such  a  debilitated  state, 
that  every  little  exertion  was  a  matter  of  impossibility. 
With  all  this  she  was  fond  of  gayety  and  high  society,  and 
would  occasionally  rouse  herself  after  a  day  of  apathy  to 
dress  for  a  ball,  at  which  she  would  dance  until  morning. 
A  sensible  friend,  who  found  that  she  could,  when  excited, 
dance  Jive  miles,  although  she  could  not  walk  one,  con- 
trived to  separate  her  for  some  time  from  her  mother,  and 
by  proper  management  stimulated  her  to  such  active 


260  NON-CONTAGIOUS  DISEASES, 

habits  as  her  age  required,  for  the  maintenance  of  her 
health ;  and,  thus,  she  was  rescued  from  a  life  of  wretch- 
edness, which,  under  her  mother's  management,  might  have 
ended  in  a  mad-house. 

It  is,  however,  equally  injurious  to  treat  with  harshness, 
or  to  ridicule  the  complaints  of  the  hypochondriac ;  and 
as  the  physician  is  often  obliged  to  humour  the  patient, 
and  to  prescribe  what  is  termed  a  placebo,  so  relations 
and  others  should,  when  the  patient  appears  from  in- 
creased irritation  to  require  soothing,  listen  to  a  string  of 
complaints,  which  they  know  to  bo  in  a  great  measure  ex- 
aggerated, rather  than  by  totally  disregarding  and  ridiculing 
them,  add  to  the  irritation  of  mind  of  the  individual,  who, 
notwithstanding  his  fancies,  is  actually  in  a  state  of  disease. 

I  have  already  said,  that  every  tning  leading  to  morbid 
sensibility  should  be  avoided,  particularly  in  young  females, 
who  are  by  nature  timid  and  sensitive  ;  and  some  of  the 
accomplishments  of  modern  times,  particularly  music,  have 
this  tendency.  They  increase  the  nervous  susceptibility 
to  a  degree  which  is  truly  alarming.  A  lady,  who  was 
educated  with  too  much  tenderness,  whose  feelings  were 
carefully  guarded  from  every  shock  and  affliction  which 
could  be  averted,  and  whose  imagination  had  been  culti- 
vated in  the  school  of  romance  and  sentiment,  having  mar- 
ried, suffered  fifteen  successive  miscarriages,  and  never 
would  have  become  a  mother,  had  she  not  been  deprived 
of  her  harp,  and  every  work  of  imagination,  and  confined 
to  her  bed  for  seven  months.  I  have  seen  this  lady  so 
overcome  with  her  own  music,  as  to  shed  tears.  Morbid 
nervous  susceptibility  is  also  productive  of  another  evil ; 
it  renders  a  person  liable  to  fall  into  some  diseases,  such 
as  epilepsy,  hysteria,  and  mania,  merely  from  seeing  others 
in  the  paroxysms  who  are  afflicted  with  them.  And  in  a 
case  of  this  kind,  such,  complaints  can  only  be  cured  by 
moral  management.  The  celebrated  Boerhaave  was  con- 
sulted respecting  an  epileptic  attack,  which  at  a  certain 


MEDICAL  ATTENDANTS  261 

hour  daily,  feJl  upon  the  whole  of  a  school  of  young  girls. 
On  inquiring  the  history  of  the  case,  he  found  the  com- 
plaint had  originated  in  sympathy  with  one  of  the  girls 
who  had  epilepsy.  Having  ascertained  this  fact,  he  judi- 
ciously concluded  that  the  disease  could  be  cured  only  by 
a  counteraction  in  the  nervous  system,  and  conceived  this 
expedient  as  the  best  remedy : — He  ordered  the  school- 
mistress to  have  the  kitchen  poker  made  red-hot,  at  the 
time  that  the  girls  were  usually  attacked;  and  having 
called  at  that  time,  he  seized  the  poker,  and  marching  with 
a  solemn  gait  and  air  into  the  school,  told  the  children  that 
he  meant  to  thrust  the  red-hot  poker  down  the  throat  of 
the  first  who  was  seized  with  the  fit.  The  consequence 
was,  that  the  effort  of  mind,  which  in  checking  the  ap- 
proach of  the  fit,  each  little  one  was  compelled  to  make, 
succeeded ;  and,  the  habit  being  broken,  the  complaint 
never  appeared  again  in  the  school." 

Thus  ends  this  little  manuscript,  which  contains  much 
useful  information 

MRS.  L. — I  am  obliged  to  you  for  communicating  it  to 
me  ;  it  has  given  me  a  greater  insight  on  the  subjects  of 
which  it  treats,  than  I  ever  expected  to  obtain. 

The  choice  of  a  medical  attendant  is  the  subject  on 
which  1  now  wish  to  know  your  opinion. 

MRS.  B. — Nothing  is  of  greater  importance  than  this 
choice ;  and  yet  there  are  few  events  in  life  which  are 
more  regulated  by  accident.  Locality,  a  fashionable  re- 
putation, or  the  recommendation  of  a  gossiping  acquaint- 
ance, may  bring  an  individual  into  your  house,  to  whose 
skill  your  life  is  to  be  intrusted,  and  upon  whose  integrity 
your  character  is  to  be  reposed ;  upon  such  slight  grounds 
do  we  not  unfrequently  place  our  confidence,  and  tnen  are 
astonished  if  we  find  it  has  been  given  to  an  unworthy 
object.  In  many  situations,  it  is  true,  no  selection  can  be 
made  ;  in  country  places,  for  instance,  where  one  medical 
man  has,  perhaps,  a  whole  district  under  his  charge  :  but 


262  MEDICAL  ATTENDANTS. 

if  it  should  be  in  your  power  to  select  your  medical  prac- 
titioner, the  following  observations  may  be  useful  to  you : — 

The  first  object  is  to  ascertain  that  the  person  you  are 
about  to  employ  has  been  regularly  educated ;  that  he  is 
a  man  of  strong  intellect,  discrimination,  and  good  sense. 
Without  these  qualities,  a  good  education  will  avail  him 
little ;  it  cannot  give  him  either  acuteness  or  judgment, 
by  which  he  alone  could  be  enabled  to  observe  the  nice 
distinctions  which  characterize  diseases,  and  to  display 
individual  skill,  when  circumstances  occur  to  require  a 
difference  in  management  from  that  which  is  usual.  He 
should  be  firm  in  his  determinations,  but  not  obstinately  so  ; 
ivith  sufficient  liberality  and  candour,  he  should  be  willing 
to  listen  to  any  suggestion  or  recommendation,  even  if  it 
proceed  from  an  unprofessional  person.  His  manner  should 
be  cool  and  collected ;  nor  should  any  unforeseen  turn  in 
the  progress  of  a  disease,  ever  deprive  him  of  his  self- 
possession.  His  whole  deportment  should  entitle  him  to 
respect  and  confidence,  which  would  give  weight  to  his 
persuasive  powers,  when  called  into  action  by  an  untracta- 
ble  patient.  He  should  be  cheerful  and  mild,  gentlemanly 
in  his  habits,  and  possess  a  large  store  of  patience  to  ena- 
ble him  to  listen,  even  with  the  appearance  of  interest,  to 
all  the  details  of  an  invalid's  complaint. 

MRS.  L. — In  drawing  this  beau  idtal  of  a  medical  man, 
I  do  not  think  conversational  powers  should  be  omitted.  I 
have  had  an  opportunity  of  observing  more  than  once, 
that  the  visit  of  a  professional  man  has  appeared  to  have 
done  more  good  than  the  medicines  he  prescribed ;  and  this 
could  only  be  attributable  to  the  art  he  had  employed  in 
luring  his  patient  from  the  depressing  subject  of  his  dis- 
ease, and  engaging  his  attention  upon  lively  and  agreeable 
topics. 

MRS.  B. — Your  observation  is  a  just  one,  and  reminds 
me  that  I  have  heard  a  medical  friend  of  mine  declare, 
that  if  he  were,  in  a  great  many  cases,  to  feel  the  pulse  of 


MEDICAL  ATTENDANTS.  263 

his  patients  immediately  upon  entering  their  rooms,  and 
before  he  had  conversed  with  them  on  indifferent  subjects, 
he  should  be  ready  to  pronounce  the'.n  in  a  high  fever, 
while,  in  fact,  they  are  only  in  a  state  of  nervous  agitation, 
which  subsides  before  he  has  been  many  minutes  in  the 
room. 

The  manners  of  a  medical  man  should  also  be  such  as 
will  ingratiate  him  with  children  ;  for,  as  much  of  his 
practice  is  among  the  young,  he  will  obtain  more  ready 
obedience  to  his  commands  from  his  little  patients,  if  they 
regard  him  rather  as  a  friend  than  as  a  doctor. 

After  professional  ability,  the  next  point  to  be  ascer- 
tained is  respecting  the  moral  character,  and  the  nice  sense 
of  honour  maintained  by  the  person  to  whom  you  are  about 
to  give  access  to  your  abode  at  all  times.  From  his  de- 
ficiency in  these  important  qualities,  may  result  serious 
inconveniences. 

The  worst  traits  in  the  professional  character,  are  the 
habit  of  gossiping  and  being  addicted  to  scandal.  Pos- 
sessing these  failings,  he  carries  with  him  from  one  house 
to  another  an  influence  not  less  malignant  nor  less  fatal  to 
happiness  than  the  worst  of  pestilential  diseases.  He  sows 
the  seeds  of  dissession,  distrust,  and  ill-will  among  rela- 
tions, friends,  and  neighbours.  Your  medical  attendant, 
may  become  an  intimate  friend,  and  you  may  have  occasion 
to  lay  open  to  him  some  of  your  domestic  circumstances, 
as  well  as  those  which  regard  your  health ;  and  if  be 
be  deserving  of  the  confidence  reposed  in  him,  he  will 
never  betray  it  in  an  idle  or  careless  manner.  Many  peo- 
ple err  in  opening  too  freely  their  private  affairs  to  medical 
men  :  yet  this  very  weakness,  in  the  hands  of  a  good  and 
sensible  man,  instead  of  being  abused,  may  be  productive 
of  benefit  to  the  parties.  I  once  knew  a  professional  gen- 
tleman act  a  very  judicious  part  towards  a  married  couple, 
who,  but  for  his  interference  would  have  separated. 
Had  they  been  left  to  themselves,  the  separation  would 


264  SICK  NURSES. 

certainly  have  taken  place,  they  would  have  been  wretched 
for  life,  and  the  ruin  of  their  children  would  have  been  the 
consequence. 

When  you  have  found  a  professional  attendant,  whose 
talents  and  worth  entitle  him  to  your  confidence,  grant  it 
to  him  freely  in  all  the  cases  of  sickness,  about  which  you 
may  have  to  consult  him.  If  you  are  not  able  to  give  him 
your  confidence,  you  should  immediately  change  him.  But 
do  not  indulge  in  the  folly  of  believing,  that  the  well-doing 
of  a  patient  is  ensured  by  a  multiplicity  of  opinions  on  his 
case ;  the  reverse  is  more  usually  true,  although  a  con- 
sultation may  be  occasionally  necessary.  Yet  in  these 
consultations  the  younger  doctors  generally  yield  as  a 
matter  of  etiquette  and  politeness  to  the  elder,  or  to  those 
of  more  reputation  ;  and  the  life  of  a  patient  has  sometimes 
been  sacrificed,  which  might  have  been  saved  by  pursuing 
a  plan  judiciously  formed,  upon  a  long  previous  acquaint- 
ance with  the  constitution,  habits,  and  feelings  of  the 
sufferer. 

MRS.  L. — A  good  nurse  is  scarcely  of  less  coasequence 
in  a  sick-room,  than  a  skilful  practitioner;  but  I  have 
heard  general  complaints  of  the  difficulty  of  procuring 
one.  It  is  very  singular,  that  in  the  present  state  of 
society,  when  improvement  has  extended  itself  to  every 
rank  and  profession,  that  this  class  of  people  has  remained 
stationary  in  mind,  manners,  and  prejudices.  Indeed,  were 
I  to  describe  a  sick-nurse  from  those  I  have  myself  known, 
I  should  say,  that  infirmity,  ignorance,  grossness  of  habit 
and  manners,  want  of  feeling,  except  where  her  own  inter- 
ests are  concerned,  want  of  cleanliness,  and  a  contemptible 
disposition  to  intrigue  with  servants,  form  the  chief  of  her 
characteristics. 

MRS.  B. — Such  I  believe  a  nurse  too  frequently  to 
be.  Let  us  now  inquire  what  her  qualifications  ought 
to  be. 

A  nurse  should  possess  both  physical  and  moral  qualities, 


SICK   XURSES.  265 

to  render  her  services  really  useful  to  the  sick.  She  should 
be  healthy,  and  not  beyond  the  middle  age  of  life  ;  strong 
of  body,  to  enable  her  to  lift  the  patient  with  ease,  and 
capable  of  enduring  fatigue  and  loss  of  rest.  She  should 
be  easily  roused  from  her  sleep,  watchful  and  active  in  all 
her  habits,  but  at  the  same  time  quiet  and  gentle.  A 
bustling  and  talkative  nurse  is  a  great  annoyance  to  an 
invalid.  She  should  be  trust-worthy,  temperate,  not  a 
snuff-taker,  cleanly  in  her  person,  and  orderly  in  her  habits ; 
mild  in  her  manners,  rather  taciturn,  and  willing  to  be 
iguided  by  those  above  her.  She  should  be  able  to  evince 
firmness  in  resisting  the  caprices  of  the  patient,  when  they 
are  opposed  to  the  orders  of  the  medical  attendant.  She 
should  also  be  able  to  read  and  write,  for  without  these 
acquirements  she  should  never  be  permitted  to  administer 
medicines  to  the  sick.  I  remember  a  melancholy  instance, 
in  proof  of  the  danger  which  may  result  from  an  illiterate 
nurse  giving  medicines  to  a  sick  person.  A  lady,  the 
mother  of  a  large  family,  was  just  recovering  from  typhus 
fever ;  her  physician  had  pronounced  her  out  of  danger, 
and  the  assiduities  of  a  near  relation,  who  had  been  con- 
stantly with  her,  and  had  assisted  the  nurse,  were  now 
dispensed  with,  and  she  was  left  without  apprehension  to 
the  charge  of  the  nurse,  and  no  doubt  was  entertained  of 
her  convalescence  proceeding  rapidly ;  when,  on  that  very 
day,  the  nurse,  who  could  not  read,  gave  her  an  opium 
embrocation  instead  of  a  bark  draught,  and  before  her 
friend  and  physician  could  be  summoned  to  her,  she  was 
a  corpse.  Her  family,  who  a  moment  previously  had 
been  indulging  the  joy  her  expected  recovery  had  excited, 
were  instantly  bereft  of  a  treasure,  and  plunged  into  the 
deepest  grief. 

I  will  not  omit  strongly  urging  you,  while  your  feelings 

are  touched  by  this  melancholy  little  anecdote,  never  to 

take  or  to  give  medicine  without  both  tasting  and  smelling 

it.    The  embrocation  in  question  had  a  powerful  smell  of 

23 


26Q  COOKEBY  OP  THE  SICK-ROOM 

Volatile  alkali,  camphor,  and  opium,  from  which  the 
draughts  were  entirely  free.  Oxalic  acid,  a  virulent 
poison,  which  has  been  often  given  for  Epsom  salts,  is  pow- 
erfully acid,  while  Epsom  salts  are  not  at  all  acid,  but 
have  a  bitter  and  nauseous  taste. 

Many  little  things  are  requisite  in  a  sick-room,  with 
which  a  nurse  ought  to  be  familiar ;  but  as  this  is  not  al- 
ways the  case,  and  as  it  is  equally  important  for  you  to  be 
acquainted  with  them  as  well  as  the  nurse,  I  will  give  you 
all  the  information  I  am  able  on  these  subjects. 

MRS.  L. — Indeed  I  shall  be  obliged  by  your  instructions ; 
for  I  am  of  opinion,  that  whatever  the  qualifications  of  a 
nurse  may  be,  she  still  ought  to  be  manageable ;  and  that 
she  is  not  likely  to  be,  if  she  imagines  herself  wiser  and 
more  clever  than  her  employer. 

MRS.  B. — Among  various  other  things  which  I  wish  you 
to  learn,  is  the  test  method  of  making  barley  water,  gruel, 
arrow  root,  white-wine  whey,  toast  water,  balm,  mint, 
linseed,  and  beef  teas.  These  every  nurse  should  know 
how  to  prepare,  yet  how  seldom  are  they  properly  made  ! 
From  the  experience  of  many  years,  I  majj  venture  to 
recommend  these  directions,  by  which  the  articles  in 
question  may  be  well  made. 

1.  BARLEY  WATER. — Upon  one  ounce  of  pearl  barley, 
after  it  has  been  well  washed  in  cold  water,  pour  half  a 
pint  of  boiling  water,  and  then  boil  it  for  a  few  minutes ; 
the  water  must  then  be  strained  off  and  thrown  away ; 
afterwards  a  quart  of  boiling  water  must  be  poured  over 
the  barley,  and  which  should  then  be  boiled  down  to  one 
pint  and  a  quarter,  and  strained  off.  The  barley  water 
thus  made  is  clear  and  mucilaginous ;  and  when  mixed 
with  an  equal  quantity  of  good  milk  and  a  small  portion 
of  sugar,  is  an.  excellent  substitute  for  the  mother's  milkj 
when  infants  are,  unfortunately,  to  be  brought  up  by  hand. 
Without  milk,  it  is  one  of  the  best  beverages  for  all  acute 
diseases,  and  may  have  lemon  juice,  raspberry  vinegar, 


COOKERY  OF  THE  SICK-ROOM.  267 

apple  tea,  infusion  of  tamarinds,  or  any  other  acidulous 
substance  that  is  agreeable  to  the  palate  of  the  patient, 
mixed  with  it. 

2.  GRUEL. — This  farinaceous  nutriment  may  be  made 
either  with  grits  or  oatmeal.*    When  grits  are  used,  three 
ounces  of  them,  after  being  very  well  washed,  should  be 
put  into  two  quarts  of  water  and  boiled  very  slowly,  until 
the  water  be  reduced  to  one  half  of  the  original  quantity. 
During  the  boiling  it  should  be  stirred  frequently ;  and, 
when  finished,  it  should  be  strained  through  a  hair  sieve. 
For  oatmeal  gruel,  three  ounces  of  meal  must  be  put  into 
a  basin,  and  bruised  with  the  back  of  the  spoon  ;  smalt 
quantities  of  water  being  successively  mixed  with  it,  and 
each  quantity  poured  off  into  another  basin,  before  more 
be  mixed :  and  this  must  be  continued  until  about  a  quart 
of  water  has  been  mixed  with  the  oatmeal.     The  remains 
of  the  oatmeal  should  then  be  thrown  away,  and  the  water 
in  which  it  was  bruised  is  to  be  boiled  for  twenty  minutes, 
stirring  it  the  whole  of  the  time. 

By  either  of  these  methods,  a  mild,  demulcent,  agree- 
able nutriment  is  prepared,  which  is  useful  in  the  same 
cases  in  which  barley  water  is  employed ;  and  it  may, 
likewise,  be  mixed  with  milk  or  with  any  acid  substance. 
Gruel,  however,  is  more  likely  to  become  sour  than  barley 
water,  and  should  never  be  kept  longer  than  forty-eight 
hours  in  winter  and  twenty -four  in  summer. 

3.  ARROW  ROOT  forms  an  excellent  nutritive  mucilage. 
Put  two  tea-spoonfuls  of  the  powder  into  a  half-pint  basin ; 
mix  them  smooth  with  a  few  tea-spoonfuls  of  cold  water, 
and  then  let  another  person  pour  boiling  water  over  the 
mixture  while  you  continue  to  stir  it,  until  it  forms  a  kind 
of  starchy-looking  substance.f 

,   *  Or  Indian  meal. 

t  Sago  and  Tapioca  form  a  similar  mucilaginous  substance,  and  are  equally 
useful  for  children  or  as  articles  of  diet  for  a  sick  person.  As  they  are  both 
hard,  they  require  considerable  boiling  before  they  are  completely  di£- 


268  COOKERY  OF  TUB  SICK-HOOH. 

Arrow  root,  thus  prepared,  may  be  used  in  the  same 
manner  as  gruel.  It  is  well  adapted  for  the  food  of  in 
fants,  because  it  is  less  liable  to  ferment  than  either  gruel 
or  barley  water ;  and,  for  the  same  reason,  it  is  the  best 
fluid  nourishment  for  those  who  are  afflicted  with  diseases 
of  indigestion.  As  it  is  very  insipid,  it  requires  either  milk, 
or  wine,  or  acids,  to  be  mixed  with  it  whichever  may  suit 
the  taste  and  the  state  of  habit  of  the  person  for  whom 
it  is  intended.  It  forms  an  excellent  pudding,  when  pre- 
pared like  rice,  for  children  who  are  a  little  beyond  the 
age  of  infancy. 

4.  DECOCTION  OF  ICELAND  LIVERWORT.— An  ounce  of 
the  liverwort  must  be  carefully  freed  from  the  moss,  frag- 
ments of  stalks,  and  particles  of  dirt,  with  which  it  is  fre- 
quently mixed,  by  rubbing  it  between  the  hands  in  cold 
water.  Then  steep  it,  for  two  hours,  in  such  a  quantity 
of  cold  water  as  will  completely  cover  it ;  after  which  it 
must  be  bruised,  pounded,  or  cut,  and  the  steeping  con- 
tinued for  three  or  four  hours  longer  in  a  fresh  quantity  of 
boiling  water,  which,  when  the  steeping  is  finished,  must 
be  strained  off  by  pressure.  The  liverwort  is  then  to  be 
put  into  a  quart  of  fresh  water,  and  kept  boiling  until  the 
fluid  be  reduced  two-thirds,  or  to  a  pint  and  a  quarter. 
When  strained  and  allowed  to  cool,  it  forms  a  thick  muci- 
lage, free  from  any  bitter  taste ;  and  may  be  rendered 
very  palatable  by  the  addition  of  sugar  and  lemon  juice ; 
or  by  white  wine,  in  those  cases  which  permit  the  use  of 
wine. 

This  decoction  of  liverwort*  is  an  excellent  demulcent 

solved.  The  person  who  makes  a  decoction  of  either  must  determine  by  trial 
if  it  be  too  thick  or  too  thin.  For  a  convalescent  sick  person  they  may  be 
sweetened  and  seasoned  with  a  little  wine;  for  a  child  sweetened  only. 

Jimer.  Ed. 

*  This  is  the  celebrated  Iceland  moss,  the  Lichen  Icelandicus,  which  was  a 
fashionable  remedy  in  consumption  a  few  years  since,  but  for  some  cause  or 
other,  has  lost  its  credit,  and  is  now  seldom  spoken  of  or  used.  It  is  super- 
seded by  another  plant,  the  Liverwor,,  which  is  known  to  botanists  by  the 


COOKERY  OF  THE  SICK-ROOM.  269 

nutriment,  in  consumption,  dysentery,  and  in  convalescence 
from  acute  diseases ,  and  particularly  after  the  hooping- 
cough,  in  which  case  the  bitter  need  not  be  completely  re- 
moved, as  it  tends  to  invigorate  the  digestive  organs. 

5.  WHITE-WINE  WHEY. — To  make  this  whey,  put  half 
a  pint  of  milk  diluted  with  a  quarter  of  a  pint  of  water 
into  a  saucepan,  which  must  be  placed  on  the  fire  un- 
covered.    Watch  the  moment  when  the  milk  boils,  which 
may  be  known  by  the  frothing  and  rising  up  of  the  milk  to 
the  top  of  the  pan;   pour  into  it,  at  that  instant,  two 
glasses  of  white  wine,  and  a  tea-spoonful  of  powered 
sugar,  which  should  be  previously  mixed  with  the  wine. 
The  curd  will  immediately  form  ;  and,  after  boiling  the 
mixture  for  a  few  minutes,  may  be  separated  from  the 
whey,  either  by  letting  it  settle  at  the  bottom,  and  then 
pouring  off  the  whey  clear  from  it,  or  by  straining  it  through 
a  fine  sieve.     White-wine  whey,  when  drank  warm,  pro- 
motes perspiration  ;  but,  as  it  is  a  stimulant,  it  cannot  be 
given  in  inflammatory  complaints.    When  cold,  it  is  a  very 
agreeable  beverage  in  low  fevers,  and  in  convalescence, 
when  stimulants  are  admissible. 

6.  BALM,  MINT,  and  other  TEAS. — These  are  simple 
infusions,  the  strength  of  which  can  only  be  regulated  by 
the  taste.     They  are  made  by  putting  either  the  fresh  or 
the  dried  plants  into  boiling  water  in  a  covered  vessel, 
which  should  be  placed  near  the  fire  for  an  hour.     The 
young  shoots  both  of  balm  and  of  mint  are  to  be  preferred, 
on  account  of  their  stronger  aromatic  qualities.     These 
infusions  may  be  drunk  freely  in  feverish  and  in  various 
other  complaints,  in  which  diluents  are  recommended. 
Mint  tea,  made  with  the  fresh  leaves,  is  useful  in  allaying 
nausea  and  vomiting. 

names  of  Anemone  hepatica,  and  Hcpatica  triloba,  possessing  a  slight  muci- 
laginous bitter,  upon  which  we  cannot  place  any  reliance  in  its  power  to  stay 
Uie  ravages  of  consumption,  more  than  upon  the  Iceland  moss. 

Amer.  Ed 
23* 


270  COOKERY  OP  THE  SICK-ROOM, 

7.  BEEF  TEA  is  too  frequently  prepared,  by  simply 
boiling  a  piece  of  beef  in  a  given  quantity  of  water;  but 
by  this  method  it  generally  resembles  gravy  soup  more 
than  beef  tea,  and  is  then  unfit  for  the  use  of  the  sick.    To 
make  it  properly,  cut  half  a  pound  of  good  lean  beef  into 
very  thin  slices ;  spread  the  slices  in  a  hollow  dish,  and 
having  poured  over  them  a  pint  and  a  half  of  boiling 
water,  cover  up  the  dish,  and  place  it  near  the  fire  for 
half  an  hour,  and  then  boil  it  over  a  quick  fire  for  about 
eight  minutes.     The  tea,  after  having  the  scum  taken  off, 
should  stand  for  ten  minutes,  after  which  it  is  to  be  poured 
off  clean,  and  seasoned  with  a  little  salt. 

Beef  tea  thus  made  is  a  light  and  pleasant  diluent,  and 
very  useful  when  the  bowels  and  stomach  are  in  a  weak 
and  irritable  state.  When  used  as  a  food  for  infants,  it 
should  always  be  prepared  in  this  manner ;  and  nothing 
answers  better  as  a  breakfast,  for  those  who  are  habitually 
sick  in  a  morning,  either  from  a  redundance  of  bile,  in- 
temperance, or  other  causes. 

8.  VEAL  TEA  is  prepared  in  the  same  manner  as  beef 
tea ;  and  may  be  used  under  similar  circumstances. 

9.  CHICKEN  TEA  is  prepared  by  cutting,  in  small  pieces, 
a  chicken,  from  which  the  skin  and  fat  have  been  removed  ; 
and  then  boiling  the  pieces,  for  twenty  minutes,  in  a  quart 
of  water,  with  the  addition  of  a  little  salt.     The  tea  should 
be  poured  from  the  meat  before  i*  is  quite  cold.    It  is 
useful  in  the  same  cases  as  beef  and  veal  tea. 

10.  TOAST  AND  WATER  may  be  made  by  pouring  over 
toasted  bread  either  a  pint  of  cold  or  boiling  water!    In 
the  latter  mode  it  should  be  made  some  hours  before  it  is 
wanted,  that  it  may  have  time  to  become  perfectly  cool. 

In  some  cases  of  extreme  debility,  isinglass  is  sometimes 
ordered  to  be  taken  in  small  quantities.  An  ounce,  when 
dissolved  in  a  pint  of  boiling  water,  forms,  when  cold,  a 
light  jelly,  a  tea-spoonful  of  vvhich  may  be  mixed  with  teas 
or  milk  and  water.  A  very  pleasant  beverage  may,  also. 


DRESSING  WOUNDS*  27 1 

fee  made  of  orange  juice  and  water,  with  the  addition  of 
the  isinglass  jelly.  I  am  acquainted  with  a  lady,  who, 
after  being  reduced  to  extreme  weakness  by  a  severe  ill- 
ness, and  being  incapable  of  taking  any  thing  solid,  re- 
covered her  strength,  although  by  very  slow  degrees,  with 
but  little  more  nourishment  than  what  the  isinglass,  given 
to  her  in  every  liquid  she  drank,  afforded  her.  From  this 
case,  it  would  appear  to  be  an  excellent  corroborant  ^  but 
medical  men  think,  that  jellies  are  less  nutritive  than  they 
are  generally  supposed  to  be  by  those  who  are  not  of  the 
profession. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  heard  a  medical  man  complain  of  the 
ignorance,  and  even  imbecility,  which  he  meets  with  in 
many  houses,  in  which  a  female  cannot  be  found,  who  can 
or  will  dress  a  wound  or  a  blister ;  or  who  knows  how  to 
foment  a  limb  or  to  apply  a  poultice  :  and  that  these  and 
many  other  little  offices,  which  can  with  most  propriety  be 
performed  by  a  wife  or  a  mother,  are  usually  done  by  the 
rude  and  careless  hands  of  a  hired  attendant.  Do  you  not 
think  that  this  kind  of  ignorance  is  disgraceful  in  a  well- 
educated  female  ? 

MRS.  B. — Until  the  moment  arrive  in  which  such  know* 
ledge  is  practically  required,  it  is  too  much  undervalued ; 
and  our  conviction  of  its  importance  depends  too  much, 
also,  upon  the  urgency  of  the  case,  which  demands  such 
offices,  and  upon  the  extent  of  our  desire  to  alleviate  the 
sufferings  of  our  rela^ves.  I  have,  I  am  sorry  to  say  it, 
seen  some  ladies  object  to  do  all  these  little  services  to  an 
invalid,  from  over  delicacy ;  and  have  preferred  the  in- 
dulgence of  weak  feelings  and  false  notions,  to  the  humane 
desire  of  comforting  and  alleviating  the  pains  of  an  invalid 
friend.  Ignorance  from  this  cause,  is,  indeed,  disgraceful. 
It  might  be  in  general  avoided,  by  the  early  initiation  of 
young  women  into  the  minutiee  of  the  sick-room,  and  by 
instructing  them  to  regard,  in  a  proper  light,  the  various 
duties  of  the  female  character :  thus  would  false  delicacy 


272  DRESSING  BLISTERS. 

be  entirely  discouraged.  I  will  now  describe  to  you  the 
best  mode  by  which  some  of  the  offices  to  which  you 
allude  may  be  performed. 

1.  BLISTERS  are  usually  spread  on  leather ;  and  to  apply 
them  in  a  neat  and  cleanly  manner,  the  surface  of  the 
blister  plaster  should  be  covered  with  a  piece  of  gauze, 
or  thin  muslin,  or  very  thin  Indian  paper,  cut  round  so  as 
to  leave  the  margin  of  the  plaster  uncovered.  The  gauze, 
muslin,  or  paper,  should  also  be  wetted  with  vinegar,  and 
closely  pressed  down  upon  the  blister  plaster.  The  part 
of  the  body  upon  which  the  blister  is  to  be  raised,  should 
be  washed  with  lemon  juice  or  with  vinegar,*  either  of 
which  gives  activity  to  the  Spanish  flies,  and  promotes 
the  proper  rising  of  the  blister.  The  margin  of  the 
blister  plaster  is  generally  spread  with  adhesive  plaster, 
to  make  it  adhere  to  the  part ;  but,  besides  this,  the  plas- 
ter should  be  confined,  by  a  bandage,  to  the  part  upon 
which  it  is  intended  that  it  should  act.  It  should  be 
allowed  to  remain  on  until  a  blister  have  risen,  which 
usually  happens  within  twelve  hours,  but  not  loiiger ;  for 
to  keep  on  a  blister  plaster  longer  than  is  necessary  to 
effect  its  purpose,  is  not  only  useless,  but  if  the  cuticle 
have  given  way,  the  acrid  matter  of  the  flies  is  liable  to 
be  absorbed  and  to  produce  strangury.  On  removing  the 
blister  plaster,  the  vesicle,  when  the  blister  is  not  intended 
to  be  kept  open,  should  be  cut  with  a  pair  of  scissors  at 
the  most  depending  part,  without  removing  the  cuticle, 
which  should  be  allowed  to  remain  on  the  part  until  it 
peel  off.  The  vesicated  part  should  be  covered  with  a 
pledget  of  lint,  spread  with  spermaceti  ointment;  and 
this  should  be  renewed  once  a  day,  till  the  place  heals. 
In  some  irritable  habits,  and  occasionally  in  children,  the 
blistered  part,  instead  of  healing  kindly,  becomes  a 
spreading  sore,  which  is  extremely  difficult  to  heal. 

*  Oi  with  warm  soap  suds. 


DRESSING  WOUNDS.  273 

When  this  happens,  warm  emollient  poultices  should  be 
applied  twice  a  day,  the  part  should  be  bathed  with  tepid 
milk  and  water,  and  the  strength  supported  with  bark  and 
a  mild  nutritious  diet.  When  the  blistered  part  is  intended 
to  be  kept  open,  or  to  be  made  what  is  termed  a  perpetual 
blister,  the  cuticle  of  the  vesicle,  made  by  the  blister  plas- 
ter, should  be  removed,  and  the  part  from  which  this  skin 
has  been  taken,  should  be  covered  with  sabine  or  some  other 
acrid  ointment,  spread  on  lint  cut  to  the  size  of  the  part 
intended  to  be  kept  in  a  discharging  state.  But  care  must 
be  taken  always  to  cut  the  lint  exactly  of  the  same 
size,  otherwise  the  issue  ointment  when  applied  to  the 
sound  skin  inflames  it,  and  in  irritable  habits  is  apt  to 
bring  on  an  attack  of  erysipelas.  A  perpetual  blister 
should  be  dressed  once  in  twenty-four  hours.  The  dress- 
ing is  easily  kept  on  by  two  strips  of  adhesive  plaster,  ap- 
plied cross-ways. 

2.  ISSUES. — A  perpetual  blister  is  an  issue .  but  other 
issues  are  discharges  kept  up,  by  pease  or  the  small  Curasso 
oranges,  put  into  a  hollow  wound,  previously  made  in 
some  fleshy  part  of  the  body,  by  means  of  caustic,  or  by 
the  knife  of  the  surgeon.  .  A  seton  is  another  kind  of  issue 
made  by  passing  either  a  skein  of  thread, 'or  a  piece  of 
cord,  or  some  gum  elastic,  beneath  a  portion  of  the  skin. 
In  the  pea-issue,  the  pease  swell  in  the  Issue,  and,  conse- 
quently, should  be  renewed  once  a  day,  and  the  discharge 
cleared  away  with  a  wet  sponge,  before  fresh  pease  are  put 
in.     When  the  hollow  appears  to  be  filling  up,  the  surgeon 
should  be  applied  to,  in  order  that  it  may  be  again  deep- 
ened by  a  fresh  application  of  the  caustic.     In  the  seton, 
the  threads  or  cord  should  be  moved  once  a  day,  and  the 
discharged  matter  cleared  away,  also,  with  a  sponge.    In 
languid  habits,  it  is  sometimes  necessary  to  smear  the  pease 
and  the  cord  of  the  seton  with  sabine  ointment. 

3.  WOUNDS  are  generally  dressed  by  a  surgeon ;  but  in 
chronic  cases,  and  those  cases  in  which  it  would  be  ha- 
zardous to  heal  up  old  wounds,  it  is  convenient  for  a  patient 


274 


DRESSING  WOUNDS. 


to  be  able  to  dress  them  without  the  aid  of  a  surgeon,  and 
the  method  of  applying  a  roller  to  a  leg  should,  therefore, 
be  generally  known.  Old  wounds  should  be  cleaned  with 
a  sponge  and  tepid  water  every  day,  and  clean  dressings 
applied.  To  apply  the  roller,  which  should  never  exceed 
two  inches  and  a  half  in  breadth,  begin  at  the  foot,  and, 
after  making  two  or  three  turns  round  it,  make  one  round 
the  ankle,  and  again  round  the  foot,  for  two  or  three  suc- 
cessive times  (see  a,  in  the  cut) :  then  proceed  to  roll  the 
leg  upwards  till  you  arrive  at  the  swell  of  the  calf,  when 
you  must  give  the  bandage  a  kind  of  half  turn  outwards  (b\ 
before  carrying  it  each  time  round  the  leg,  so  as  to  make 
it  ply  to  the  shape  of  the  limb  ;  and  continue  to  do  so  till 
it  reach  the  knee,  where  it  must  be  secured  by  two  small 
pins  (c).  A  bandage  well  rolled,  should  press  equally  OB 


APPLYING  FOMENTATIONS  AND  FfclCTION.          275 

every  part  of  the  limb,  and  remain  on  for  any  length  of 
lime  without  becoming  slack.  It  should  have  also  a  neat 
appearance,  and  not  make  the  limb  too  clumsy. 

4.  POULTICES  are  intended  to  assist  the  suppuration  of 
inflammatory  tumours  which  cannot  be  put  back  ;  and  they 
are  used,  too,  for  softening  the  lips  of  ulcers,  that  have 
been  hardened  by  a  thick  and  acrid  discharge.     They 
therefore  require  to  be  large,  soft,  hot,  and  frequently  re- 
newed.    Some  poultices  are  made,  by  boiling  together 
crumbs  of  bread  and  milk  or  water,  and  adding  a  small 
quantity  of  oil  or  lard ;  others  are  made  by  simply  mixing 
a  quantity  of  linseed  meal,  with  as  much  boiling  water  as 
will  make  it  into  a  moderately  thick  paste.    For  the  sake 
of  cleanliness,  a  piece  of  thin  gauze  should  be  placed  be- 
tween the  poultice  and  the  part  to  which  it  is  to  be  applied, 
provided  the  part  affected  be  not  ulcerated.    A  poultice 
should  not  be  so  thin  as  to  run  or  spread,  nor  so  thick  as 
to  become  soon  dry  and  hard.    When  a  poultice  is  in- 
tended to  promote  suppuration,  it  should  be  renewed  as 
soon  as  it  gets  cook 

5.  FOMENTATIONS  are,  generally,  decoctions  of  mucila- 
ginous or  narcotic  vegetables.    But  as  the  best  of  these, 
when  externally  applied,  have  very  little  medicinal  virtue, 
flannels  wrung  out  of  boiling  water,  are  of  equal,  if  not  ot 
superior  use  to  any  of  them.     The  flannels  should  be  about 
two  yards  long,  and  sewed  together  at  the  ends,  so  that  by 
means  of  two  sticks,  turned  in  opposite  directions,  they 
may  be  wrung  perfectly  dry  from  the  boiling  water.    They 
should  be  applied  lightly  over  the  part  to  be  fomented, 
which  thus  becomes  involved  in  an  atmosphere  of  hot 
vapour,  without  the  bed  and  linen  of  the  patient  being 
wetted.    As  soon  as  one  flannel  begins  to  cool,  another 
should  be  wrung  dry  from  the  water,  and  be  applied  to  the 
part,  in  the  instant  the  other  is  withdrawn  from  it. 

6.  FRICTION  is  frequently  ordered  to  be  employed  in 

of  painful  and  swelled  joints,  but  it  is  rarely  well 


276  PREPARATIONS  FOR 

applied.  Friction  will  be  of  little  benefit  unless  it  be  doiic 
briskly,  and  continued  each  time,  for  half  an  hour  or  up- 
wards. The  embrocations  and  liniments  which  are  some- 
times ordered  are,  often,  in  themselves  of  trifling  value  as 
remedies,  and  are  prescribed  more  with  the  view  of  se- 
curing the  regular  performance  of  the  friction,  than  front 
any  benefit  expected  from  them.  The  best  mode  of  rub- 
bing is  by  short,  quickly  repeated  strokes  with  the  points 
of  the  fingers  ;  and  when,  after  the  friction  has  been  con- 
tinued for  some  time,  the  hand  becomes  heated,  it  should 
be  smeared  with  a  little  flour,  provided  the  friction  be  not 
accompanied  by  the  use  of  any  liniment. 

MRS.  L. — Are  there  any  other  circumstances  connected 
with  health,  with  which  it  is  desirable  for  a  young  mar- 
ried woman  to  be  acquainted  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  is  very  important  for  her  to  be  in  some  de- 
gree acquainted  with  those  connected  with  the  period  of 
childbirth,  which,  the  first  time  it  occurs,  forms  an  epoch 
in  the  life  of  a  woman,  and  necessarily  engages  much  of 
her  attention  both  in  respect  to  the  event  itself,  and  to  the 
preparations  requisite  for  it. 

Let  us  examine  with  what  feelings  it  is  both  natural  and 
proper  she  should  view  this  event,  as  soon  as  she  becomes 
aware  of  its  probable  occurrence.-  I  do  not  know  what 
are  the  most  usual  sensations  which  this  anticipation  ex- 
cites, because  I  have  conversed  so  little  with  any  one  on 
the  subject ;  but  it  appears  to  me  very  natural  to  consider 
domestic  happiness  as  incomplete,  if  children,  the  objects 
of  our  best  affections,  are  denied  to  us.  At  the  same  time, 
it  is  also  natural  for  every  young  married  woman  to  see 
the  approach  of  her  first  confinement  with  anxiety,  because 
she  is  ignorant  of  the  degree  of  suffering  which  she  has  to 
surmount  before  her  moment  of  rejoicing  can  arrive  ;  and 
this  suffering  is  left  to  the  imagination  to  portray,  which 
never  tells  the  exact  truth,  whether  it  describe  the  pros- 
pect of  our  pleasures  or  our  pains.  She  may  also  have 


THE  LYING-IN  ROOM.  277 

some  difficulty  in  divesting  her  mind  of  the  idea  of  the 
peril  which  she  must  encounter  in  becoming  a  parent ;  bu* 
for  all  these  fears  one  great  antidote  is  to  be  found,  an  un- 
shaken reliance  on  God,  from  whom  she  can  best  derive 
strength  and  comfort,  and  in  whose  hand  her  life  rests,  both 
at  that  season  and  every  other.  Besides  this  chief  support, 
reasoning  justly  upon  her  situation,  will  carry  conviction  to 
her  mind,  that  in  this  event  there  is  always  more  reason  to 
indulge  hope  than  fear.  What  she  has  to  undergo,  is  no 
disease,  but  a  natural  event,  for  which  her  frame  is  formed ; 
and  her  body  can  well  endure  the  pains  which  attend  it, 
if  she  discipline  her  mind  to  support  them.  I  believe  any 
medical  man  will  tell  you,  that  there  is  no  event  the  result 
of  which  is  so  dependent  as  this,  upon  the  state  of  mind 
with  which  it  is  met :  and  this  being  the  case,  it  points  out 
to  every  woman  the  duty  of  cultivating  fortitude  and  com- 
posure of  mind,  that  they  may  be  at  hand  always,  and 
particularly  at  such  a  moment,  when  the  sufferings  are 
great  and  the  feelings  peculiarly  excited. 

MRS.  L. — Can  you  give  me  any  idea  of  the  extent  of 
the  preparations  for  the  event  in  question,  and,  also,  what 
expense  must  necessarily  be  incurred  in  these  preparations  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  will  give  you  a  list  of  most  of  the  articles 
which  are  essential,  and  which  may  be  purchased  at  a 
ready-made  linen  ware-house.  If,  however,  these  ar- 
ticles can  be  made  at  home,  the  expense  is  considerably 
less. 

I  hope  you  will  not  be  inclined  to  run  into  a  folly,  not 
unusual  with  young  mothers,  in  providing  a  useless  number 
of  each  article,  and  of  having  them  made  in  a  too  costly 
and  extravagant  manner ;  forgetting  that  the  infant's  state 
of  unconsciousness  denies  it  pleasure  from  any  outward 
circumstances,  except  those  which  contribute  to  its  well- 
doing and  comfortable  feelings.  All  that  a  rational  mother 
will  desire  in  respect  to  the  clothing  of  her  infant,  is,  that 
it  should  be  light  and  warm,  and  tolerably  fine  and  soft,  in 
24 


S78  FHEPAHATIOX3  FOR 

order  that  it  may  not  rub  the  tender  skin  ;  and  that  every 
different  article  should  be  provided  in  such  numbers,  as  to 
allow  of  extreme  attention  to  cleanliness.  From  the  con- 
stant inclination  of  infants  to  throw  up  any  superabundance 
of  food  which  their  stomachs  have  received,  and  from  the 
nature  of  that  food,  it  is  very  difficult  to  keep  them  free 
from  a  sour  smell ;  and  yet  it  is  important  to  do  so  as  much 
as  possible,  because  the  air  an  infant  breathes  cannot  be 
pure,  if  it  convey  to  it  any  smell  from  its  clothes. 

The  additional  clothes  which  the  lady  requires  during 
her  confinement,  are  not  very  numerous.  While  she  is 
confined  to  her  bed  she  should  change  her  linen  every 
day,  and  this  renders  a  considerable  stock  of  night-clothes 
necessary ;  but  these  we  will  suppose  every  one  to  possess* 
Therefore,  what  she  will  require  in  addition  is,  a  wrapping 
gown. 

For  the  infant,  some  ladies  provide  a  dozen  of  most  of 
the  articles  of  which  I  give  you  a  list,  but  others  consider 
eight  of  each  sufficient.  Eight  shirts  ;  eight  night-caps ; 
four  day  flannels  ;  four  night  flannels  ;  eight  calico  gowns  ; 
six  dozen  of  napkins. 

Besides  these  articles,  day  caps,  robes,  mantles,  and 
petticoats  are  to  be  provided,  the  expense  of  which  cat) 
be  determined  only  by  the  taste  of  the  individual  who  has 
to  choose  them.  The  expense  of  providing  all  the  essen- 
tial articles,  in  a  handsome  manner,  may  be  calculated  at 
twenty-five  pounds,  though  many  ladies  will  spend  upwards 
of  fifty.  Before  the  labour  commences  every  thing  which 
will  be  required  should  be  prepared.  All  the  various 
articles  of  dress,  which  will  be  wanted  at  the  first  dressing- 
of  the  infant,  should  be  placed  in  a  flat  basket,  in  the  order 
in  which  the  nurse  will  require  them.  At  the  top  of  the 
basket  should  be  a  paper  of  strong  thread,  a  small  quantity 
of  fine,  soft  linen,  a  pair  of  scissors,  and  a  small  flannel 
eap.  These,  being  all  required  the  instant  the  birth  takes 
place,  should  be  laid  ready  by  the  nurse,  so  that  they  may 


LYING-IN  ROOM.  279 

l>e  handed  immediately  to  the  accoucheur.  After  these 
the  receiver  will  be  wanted,  which  is  a  square  of  fine,  soft, 
Welsh  flannel,  which  the  nurse  holds,  and  receives  the 
infant  in  it  from  the  hands  of  the  accoucheur.  A  very 
fine,  soft  flannel  band  should  then  lie  ready  for  the  nurse,  to 
wrap  round  the  child  as  soon  as  it  is  washed.  This  should 
be  rather  more  than  three  quarters  of  a  yard  in  length, 
and  the  half  of  a  quarter  of  a  yard  in  width.  Some  nurses 
pin  this  band  on  the  infant,  but  pins  should  never  be  allowed 
to  be  used  in  any  part  of  the  clothing  of  an  infant.  It 
should  either  be  sewed  on,  or  there  should  be  narrow  tapes 
attached  to  it,  at  proper  distances  by  which  it  may  be 
tied  on. 

Much  diversity  of  opinion  exists,  with  regard  to  the  best 
method  of  clothing  a  new-born  infant.  Nothing  is  certainly 
more  absurd  than  to  dress  it  for  exhibition.  On  the  con- 
trary, the  fewer  the  articles  of  clothing  are,  the  better  it 
will  be,  provided  that  the  dress  be  made  of  warm  materials. 
Whatever  seems  most  consistent  with  the  previous  habits 
of  the  little  being  that  has  just  been  ushered  into  the  world, 
should  be  in  every  way  studied ;  and  therefore  it  follows, 
that  all  bindings  and  every  article  of  dress  which  fits 
tightly  to  the  body  ought  to  be  avoided.  The  best  dress 
for  a  new-born  infant,  in  the  opinion  of  the  medical  friend, 
whose  opinions  I  have  just  read  to  you,  is  a  loose  robe, 
without  sleeves,  or  with  very  wide  ones,  and  consisting 
simply  of  a  square  of  veiy  soft  flannel,  made  to  button  at 
the  chest,  and  slightly  bound  with  a  belt  round  the  waist. 
It  should  be  of  sufficient  length  to  cover  the  feet  of  the 
child,  but  should  not  be  too  long.  The  same  gentleman  is 
of  opinion,  that  newly -born  children  should  have  no  caps. 
Whatever  dress  is  adopted,  pins,  as  I  have  already  said, 
should  not  be  used,  but  every  thing  should  be  fastened 
with  tapes.* 

*  This  precaution  requires  the  attention  of  American  ladies,  as  infants  are 
frequently  pricked  with  tlie  pins  most  commonly  employed  iu  dressing  them. 
—Amer.  Ed. 


380  MONTHLY  NURSES. 

MRS.  L. — Having  discussed  the  subject  of  dress,  inform 
me  now,  what  other  points  of  importance  require  to  be 
attended  to  in  the  lying-in  room. 

MRS.  B. — The  room  in  which  the  confinement  is  to  take 
place,  should  be  as  spacious  as  the  house  will  afford,  and 
capable  of  being  well  ventilated,  without  exposing  the  lady 
who  is  confined  to  any  current  of  air.  It  should  also  be 
removed  as  far  as  possible  from  the  noise,  either  of  the 
house  or  of  the  street. 

The  character  and  qualifications  of  the  monthly  nurse 
will  require  much  attention. 

Being  obliged  to  have  such  immediate  intercourse  with 
her,  and  intrusting  her  not  only,  in  some  degree,  with  your 
own  life,  but  also  with  that  of  the  frail  little  being  to  which 
you  have  given  birth,  her  character  and  conduct  are  of  the 
greatest  moment  to  you.  She  should  be  sober,  temperate, 
and  honest ;  cleanly  in  every  habit,  quiet  in  her  movements, 
no  gossip,  nor  snuff-taker,  and  certainly  not  a  fine  lady. 
With  regard  to  other  essential  qualifications,  it  is  much  to 
be  lamented  that,  in  these,  our  monthly  nurses  are  de- 
ficient. Often,  when  they  commence  their  career  in  that 
capacity,  they  are  utterly  ignorant,  and  are  indebted  to 
experience  alone  for  all  the  information  they  posses? 
respecting  the  nature  of  the  duties  which  they  undertake 
to  perform. 

In  France  it  is  very  different.  \  oung  women  are  selected 
in  each  of  the  departments,  to  be  educated  for  this  service 
They  are  sent  to  Paris,  where,  in  the  admirable  establish- 
ment, PHopital  de  la  Maternite,  they  receive  every  in- 
struction requisite  to  prepare  them  for  their  vocation.  In 
this  respect,  it  would  be  more  beneficial  and  creditable  for 
us  to  imitate  our  neighbours,  than  in  many  of  those  cus- 
toms and  practices  which  are  so  liberally  imported,  but 
not  always  for  our  benefit.  The  best  qualities  which  we 
can  hope  to  find  in  our  English  nurses,  are  modesty,  a 
willingness  to  be  directed,  and  a  disposition  to  adhere, 


MONTHLY  NURSES.  28  1 

conscientiously,  to  the  instructions  which  they  receive  from 
medical  attendants. 

In  respect  of  age,  a  monthly  nurse  should  not  exceed 
sixty  years,  but  it  is  still  better  if  she  be  between  thirty- 
five  and  fifty  years  of  age.  She  should  possess  bodily 
strength  sufficient  to  enable  her  to  lift  her  charge  with 
ease  ;  she  should  be  a  light  sleeper,  or  rather  be  capable 
of  doing  with  very  little  sleep  ;  and  as  this  would  be  in- 
compatible with  the  habits  of  a  glutton,  or  of  one  fond  of 
ale  and  porter,  we  will  suppose  that  she  is  free  from  any 
inclination  towards  intemperance.  She  should  be  tender, 
kind,  and  gentle  in  her  manner,  yet  tolerably  lively ; 
should  have  great  command  over  her  temper,  and  have  so 
much  self-possession,  that,  under  any  circumstances,  even 
the  most  alarming  that  can  occur,  she  should  be  able  to 
maintain  a  cool  and  collected  manner.  These  qualities 
should  not,  however,  be  accompanied  by  conceit,  nor  too 
much  dependence  on  her  ov/n  knowledge  and  experience, 
which  might,  unfortunately,  induce  her  to  neglect  sending 
for  the  medical  attendant,  when  his  advice  and  directions 
might  be  of  the  last  importance.  Above  all  things,  she 
should  not  be  addicted  to  quackery,  nor  should  she  ever 
presume  to  prescribe  medically  either  for  the  mother  01 
The  child. 

As  the  lying-in  room  should  always  be  well  ventilated, 
so  should  it,  always,  be  neat  and  clean ;  and  the  nurse 
should  not  be  above  attending  to  these  niceties  herself,  and 
performing  as  many  of  the  little  offices  about  the  room,  as 
her  duty  to  the  mother  and  the  infant  render  compatible. 
She  should  be  ever  prepared,  to  anticipate  the  wants  of 
the  lady  she  is  nursing ;  and  in  regard  to  the  infant,  who 
is  the  creature  of  habit,  her  great  care  should  be  to  induce 
every  habit  of  regularity  and  cleanliness.  Some  nurses 
have  been  so  expert  in  this,  that  the  infant,  from  the  first, 
has  been  laid  awake  in  its  crib  or  cot,  at  the  proper  hours 
for  its  sleep,  and  has  quietly  and  placidly  closed  its  eyes, 
24 


282  MONTHLY  NURSES. 

obedient  to  this  tacit  word  of  command.  Other  nurses 
have  indulged  themselves  and  the  infant,  by  keeping  it 
dozing  on  the  moving  knee  ;  and  thus  have  induced  a  habit, 
which  has  prevented  it  from  ever  closing  its  eyes,  unless 
lulled  in  such  a  manner.  There  are  other  habits,  also,  con- 
nected with  cleanliness,  which  the  nurse  has  greatly  in  her 
power  to  form. 

A  nurse  should  be  taught  the  art  of  emptying  the  mo- 
ther's breast  by  suction  when  the  infant  is  weakly,  and 
the  supply  of  milk  great ;  for,  then  the  breast  becomes 
turgid,  and  the  efforts  of  the  infant  are  insufficient  to  draw 
it,  until  it  has  been  previously  relieved,  either  by  suction 
or  some  other  means.  It  is  certainly  a  better  plan  to  have 
the  breasts  drawn  by  the  human  mouth,  than  by  any  of  the 
various  contrivances  which  are  invented  for  that  purpose. 
Sore  nipples,  which  are  so  painful,  and  so  disappointing  to 
the  young  mother,  who  is  generally  desirous  of  fulfilling 
every  part  of  her  maternal  duty,  are  the  consequence  o£ 
this  turgescence,  which  excites  inflammation.  And,  here, 
let  me  mention,  that  when  the  nipple  becomes  sore,  the 
shield  is  the  best  remedy  ;  and  a  nurse  should  know  how 
to  render  this  little  instrument  serviceable,  for  unless  it  be 
properly  applied,  the  intention  for  which  it  is  used  will  be 
defeated.  All  salves  and  washes  are  useless  without  the 
aid  of  the  shield.  Some  ladies,  who  have  never  suffered 
any  inconvenience  from  sore  nipples,  have  attributed  their 
escape  to  the  habit,  which  they  had  adopted  for  some 
weeks  previous  to  their  confinement,  of  washing  the  nipples 
with  weak  brandy  and  water ;  and  this,  they  imagined, 
hardened  the  skin  so  as  to  prevent  it  from  being  affected 
by  the  suction  of  the  infant.  But  I  believe,  that  the  more 
certain  method  to  prevent  this  evil,  is  to  guard  against  in- 
flammatory tendencies  in  the  breast,  by  having  it  fre- 
quently drawn,  so  as  to  empty  it,  more  completely  than 
can  be  done  by  the  infant,  during  the  first  fortnight  or  three 
weeks  of  the  confinement. 


MANAGEMENT  IN  CHILDBED. 

A  nurse  should  not  be  of  an  avaricious  disposition,  other- 
wise, to  visit  the  lying-in  room  is  quite  a  disgraceful  tax 
upon  the  friends  of  the  lady.  The  terms  upon  which  the 
nurse  attends  for  the  month  should  be  settled  at  the  time 
she  is  first  engaged  ;  and  every  lady,  who  has  any  feelings 
of  delicacy,  will  explain  to  her,  at  the  same  time,  that  she 
is  to  expect  nothing  beyond  her  just  pay ;  and  that  any 
expectations  of  receiving  money  from  visiters  must  be  en- 
tirely abandoned.  Every  one  complains  of  this  imposition  j 
but  few  have  the  spirit  to  abolish  it  as  far  as  they  are  them- 
selves concerned.  Giving  caudle  at  these  lying-in  visits 
is,  now,  scarcely  ever  done ;  and  it  is  a  custom  properly 
disused,  as  it  only  served  as  a  plea  for  exacting  a  half 
crown  fee  to  the  nurse. 

I  have  already  mentioned  that,  as  the  moment  of  con 
finement  approaches,  every  thing  should  be  in  readiness, 
so  that  no  hurry  nor  bustle  occur.  One  friend,  who  pos- 
sesses some  considerable  degree  of  fortitude,  the  nurse, 
and  the  accoucheur,  are  the  only  persons  who  should  be 
admitted  into  the  room  during  the  labour.  If  the  ac- 
coucheur be  a  sensible  man,  he  will  neither  talk  much 
himself,  nor  allow  others  to  do  so;  but  whatever  con- 
versation is  permitted,  should  be  of  a  cheerful  and  encou- 
raging description  ;  all  depressing  passions,  want  of  con- 
fidence in  the  medical  attendant,  and  alarm  of  any  de- 
scription, inasmuch  as  they  weaken  the  powers  of  the 
animal  economy,  and  protract  the  sufferings  of  labour,  also 
tend  to  interrupt  the  natural  steps  of  the  process,  and  cause 
difficulties  which  would  not  otherwise  happen.  Every 
female  should  be  previously  informed,  that,  unless  some 
unforeseen  difficulty  present  itself,  the  child  of  a  well- 
formed  woman,  may  be  born  without  manual  assistance ; 
and,  therefore,  the  less  the  accoucheur  interferes,  or  appears 
to  aid  her  efforts,  the  more  his  skill  is  to  be  depended  upon. 
When  malconformation,  or  other  causes,  however,  present 
obstacles  to  the  progress  of  the  natural  process,  then  the 


284  MANAGEMENT  IN  CHILDBED. 

mind  of  the  individual  should  be  made  up  to  bear  with 
fortitude  and  resignation,  whatever  may  be  requisite  for 
her  relief;  and,  next  to  her  reliance  on  Divine  Providence 
she  should  place  implicit  confidence  in  her  medical  at- 
tendant. When  the  child  is  born,  and  she  is,  therefore,  in 
some  degree  relieved  from  her  state  of  suffering,  she  should 
be  restrained  from  any  lively  expressions  of  joy;  for, 
although  it  is  natural  and  proper  for  her  to  feel  thankful 
for  her  deliverance,  yet  the  expressions  of  joy  would  be 
dangerous  to  her  at  the  time  in  which  so  much  of  her 
strength  is  exhausted.  Many  of  the  fatal  occurrences  in 
childbed  have  been  attributed  to  the  want  of  this  precau- 
tion. Rest,  and,  if  possible,  sleep,  should  be  obtained  for 
two  or  three  hours,  before  the  young  mother  be  laid  com- 
fortably in  bed  after  delivery.  After  this  has  been  done, 
the  infant  should  be  brought  to  her,  and  should  be  applied 
to  the  fountain  of  its  natural  and  only  proper  food.  When 
medicine  is  requisite,  the  accoucheur  will  order  it,  but  on 
no  account  should  the  nurse  be  allowed  to  administer  it 
without  his  orders. 

It  is  a  very  common  practice  in  monthly  nurses  to  keep 
an  infant  from  its  mother's  milk  for  two  or  three  days  after 
its  birth :  this  is  equally  bad  for  the  parent  and  child. 
The  first  milk  which  the  child  draws  acts  as  a  purgative 
upon  it,  while  its  sucking  keeps  the  parent's  breast  soft 
and  pliable,  and  brings  the  milk  into  the  proper  channel. 
For  these  reasons,  the  infant  should  be  placed  at  the  breast 
three  or  four  hours  after  its  birth,  and  this  should  be  re- 
peated as  often  as  the  mother's  strength  will  permit  it. 
When,  however,  there  is  a  strong  inflammatory  disposition 
in  the  mother,  the  early  application  of  the  child  to  the 
breast  is  insufficient  to  keep  down  the  milk,  and  sore  nip- 
ples are  the  consequence.  If  a  lady  is  to  suckle  her  in- 
fant, the  sooner  it  is  applied  to  the  breast,  the  less  chance 
there  is  of  the  nipples  becoming  sore  :  but  in  some  consti- 
tutions this  will  occur,  in  spite  of  every  precaution  ;  and 


MANAGEMENT  IN  CHILDBED.  285 

when  it  does,  the  child  should  be  kept  from  the  breast 
until  the  milk  has  been  nearly  carried  off  by  purgatives 
and  low  diet ;  then  the  child  being  again  placed  at  the 
breast  causes  a  return  of  the  milk,  while  the  breast  and 
nipple  remain  cool.  My  medical  friend  has  informed  me 
that  he  saw  this  experiment  succeed  with  a  lady  who  had 
had  six  children,  not  one  of  whom  she  bad  been  able  to 
suckle  before.  Until  the  infant  ean  be  applied  to  the 
mother's  breast,  its  aptitude  for  sucking  should  be  kept  up 
by  placing  it  at  the  breast  of  a  temporary  wet  nurse. 

In  washing  an  infant  during  the  month,  the  water  should 
be  tepid  ;  for  water  either  too  cold  or  too  hot  is  equally 
injurious.  The  whole  body  of  the  infant,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  the  head,  should  be  immersed  in  the  water  when 
it  is  washed.  If  a  nurse  be  so  ignorant  as  not  to  know 
what  will  take  off  the  white  mucous  matter,  which,  occa- 
sionally, adheres  to  the  skin  of  a  newly-born  infant,  you 
should  be  able  to  inform  her,  that  it  is  most  readily 
loosened  by  rubbing  the  part  over  with  lard  or  fresh  but- 
ter ;  after  which  a  little  soap  will  remove  the  whole. 

Some  nurses  have  a  bad  custom  of  stuffing  an  infant 
with  sugar  and  butter,  for  the  purpose  of  evacuating  the 
contents  of  the  bowels ;  but  this  should  never  be  permit- 
ted. The  first  milk  of  the  mother  is  purgative  ;  but  if 
medicine  be  necessary,  the  medical  practitioner  will 
order  it.  Care,  however,  should  be  taken,  that  the 
bowels  of  the  infant  be  cleared  in  less  than  twelve  hours 
after  birth.* 

MRS.  L. — How  soon  is  it  usual  for  a  lady  to  leave  the 
lying-in  room  ? 


*  This  is  usually  done  in  this  country  by  giving  the  new-born  infant  a 
little  warm  molasses  and  water,  or  sugar  and  water,  which  is  necessary  to 
purge  off  the  meconium  or  black  matter  which  is  found  in  the  bowels.  The 
mother's  milk  will  produce  further  evacuations,  but  as  this  does  not  usually 
come  until  the  seconder  third  day,  the  nurse  should  not  delay  to  give  the  sugar 
or  molasses,  but  they  should  not  be  raised  with  butter  or  fat.— Amer.  Ed. 


286  MANAGEMENT  IN  CHILDBED. 

MBS.  B. — That  must  depend  in  a  great  measure  upon 
her  progress  towards  recovery,  and  also  upon  the  state  of 
the  weather.  Whatever  exertions  she  makes  should  bear 
only  a  due  proportion  to  her  strength,  there  being  few  cir- 
cumstances in  which  a  woman  is  more  likely  to  retard  the 
recovery  of  her  strength  by  over  exertion,  than  in  child- 
bed. Her  frame  has  undergone  a  struggle,  which  has 
caused  much  loss  of  strength,  and,  for  the  renovation  of 
which,  time  must  be  allowed.  In  this  state  she  is,  also, 
more  than  usually  susceptible  of  cold,  and,  therefore,  great 
care  should  be  taken  to  keep  her  from  experiencing  any 
sudden  transition  from  a  hot  to  a  cold  temperature.  If, 
however,  at  the  end  of  six  or  seven  days  her  strength  per- 
mit, it  will  be  very  desirable  for  her  to  be  removed  for  an 
hour  or  two  into  another  room,  provided  it  be  not  very  re- 
mote from  her  own,  and  that  it  be  brought  to  a  similar  tem- 
perature. During  the  time  she  is  absent  from  her  own 
room,  the  nurse  should  see  that  it  be  thoroughly  venti- 
lated. This  change  of  air  will- assist  to  strengthen  her: 
but  there  is  usually  a  prejudice,  almost  unconquerable,  in 
monthly  nurses,  that  ladies  should  not  change  their  rooms 
for  the  first  fortnight  or  three  weeks  of  their  confinement, 
which  system  has  often  so  weakening  an  effect,  that,  at 
the  end  of  the  month,  a  lady  is  sometimes  as  weak  and 
reduced,  as  if  she  had  had  a  serious  illness.  The  opinion 
I  am  giving  in  favour  of  this  early  change  of  air,  is  under 
the  supposition  that  the  whole  of  the  confinement  has  pro- 
ceeded without  any 'drawbacks.  When  the  case  is  other- 
wise, the  lady  must  of  course  be  directed  by  the  orders 
of  her  professional  adviser,  in  this  as  well  as  in  other 
respects. 

At  the  end  of  the  month,  or  even  before  that  time,  if 
the  weather  and  other  circumstances  permit,  gentle  exer- 
cise is  very  desirable  for  the  lying-in  lady,  and  particularly 
if  she  suckle  her  baby ;  because,  whatever  tends  to  give 
her  health  and  strength,  will  render  her  better  able  to  per- 


DUTY  OP  MOTHERS  A9  NURSES.         287 

form  that  important  duty.  Violent  exercise,  on  the  con- 
trary, would  be  as  prejudicial,  its  effects  being  either  to 
inflame  the  milk,  or  to  diminish  it  in  quantity. 

The  office  of  suckling,  is,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  considered 
by  many  mothers  as  troublesome  and  irksome,  and  as  de- 
priving them  of  that  freedom,  which  is  valuable  to  them  for 
the  purpose  of  amusement  and  dissipation.  Unless  a 
woman  can  resolve  to  give  herself  up  in  a  great  measure 
to  the  performance  of  this  duty,  conforming  her  habits, 
as  much  as  the  circumstances  in  which  she  is  placed  will 
permit,  so  as  to  enable  her  to  discharge  it  in  a  manner 
beneficial  at  once  to  her  baby  and  to  herself,  she  had  bet- 
ter abandon  it  altogether,  and  leave-  the  maternal  office  to 
be  supplied  by  a  hired  nurse.  Thus,  late  hours,  much 
dancing,  frequent  and  long  absence  from  her  nursling, 
would  render  her  a  bad  nurse  ;  and,  consequently,  her 
child  would  be  puny  and  delicate.  But  1  am  persuaded 
there  would  be  few  mothers  who  would  not  yield  up  will- 
ingly these  gratifications,  if  they  were  sufficiently  aware 
of  the  blessings  they  might  procure  for  themselves  and 
their  offspring  by  discharging  this  duty. 

If  we  examine  how  far  the  mother  is  benefitted  by  this 
practice,  I  believe  we  shall  be  supported  by  the  opinion 
of  medical  men,  if  we  assert,  that,  in  most  cases,  health  is 
promoted,  and  sometimes  established  by  suckling ;  and 
that,  in  many  instances,  constitutional  diseases  have  been 
checked  in  their  progress,  if  not  entirely  subdued  by  it. 
This  is,  certainly,  a  strong  argument  in  favour  of  the  prac- 
tice ;  life  being  a  blessing  to  the  healthy,  but  a  burden 
to  the  diseased ;  yet  still  more  powerful  inducements  to 
maternal  affection  and  solicitude  are  to  be  drawn,  from 
the  hopes  of  securing  not  only  present  health  to  our  off- 
spring, but  of  establishing  in  them  sound  and  vigorous 
constitutions,  which  can  scarcely  be  done  by  any  less 
natural  means  of  rearing  them.  It  is  true  that,  occasion- 
ally, a  child  may  be  brought  up  by  handy  with  tolerable 


288       MANAGEMENT  OP  INFANTS  IN  THE  MONTH. 

success,  and  he  may  be  pronounced  healthy  and  thriving : 
but  the  experiment  is  a  lottery  in  which  there  are  many 
hundred  blanks  for  one  prize.  In  children  brought  up  by 
hand,  there  is  always  less  probability  of  their  enjoying  so 
vigorous  and  firm  a  state  of  health,  even  in  after  life,  as  is 
usually  found  in  other  individuals,  who,  with  natural  con- 
stitutions equally  vigorous,  have  had  the  additional  privi- 
lege of  receiving,  during  the  first  nine  months  of  life,  the 
nourishment  which  nature  has  provided  for  the  infantile 
stale.  I  will  read  you  a  short  passage  from  Dr.  Carpen- 
ter's Treatise  on  Moral  Education,  which  gives  also 
another  gratifying  motive  to  the  young  mother  to  nurse  her 
child. — "  What  may  with  propriety  be  termed  the  natural 
affection  of  children  towards  their  parents  (arising  without 
the  exercise  of  reflection  at  all,  merely  by  the  operation 
of  the  associative  principle),  is,  we  apprehend,  almost  al- 
ways the  strongest  towards  the  mother :  at  least  if  she  has 
also  been  the  nurse :  and  as  the  pleasurable  feelings  of 
infancy  do  greatly  contribute  their  share  towards  the  forma- 
tion of  more  complex  pleasures,  and  as  they  cannot  be  re- 
placed but  by  a  long  series  of  exertions,  a  mother  who 
wishes  to  possess  the  highest  degree  of  her  children's 
affection,  and  the  greatest  influence  in  the  regulation  of 
their  conduct  and  dispositions,  must  also  be  their  nurse." 

In  the  sentence  which  follows,  he  gives  his  reasons  for 
this  assertion;  but  as  it  would  detain  us  too  long  from 
other  subjects  to  read  it  now,  I  will  close  the  book  ;  but 
not  without  recommending  it  for  your  perusal  at  some 
future  period. 

MRS.  L. — How  should  infants  be  managed  during  the 
month  ?  Are  monthly  nurses  qualified  to  have  the  charge 
of  them  without  any  superintendence  ? 

MRS.  B. — Their  experience  gives  them  a  certain  degree 
of  knowledge,  and  enables  them  to  dress  and  wash  an 
infant  with  more  facility,  and  with  greater  gentleness,  than 
can  be  done  by  less  practised  hands  ;  but  their  prejudices 


MANAGEMENT  OF  INFANTS  I A  THE  3IONTH.       239 

are  often  unconquerable  in  favour  of  ignorant  and  vulgar 
practices,  by  which  an  infant  may  be  tormented,  if  not 
seriously  inconvenienced ;  and  for  this  reason  I  would  have 
the  young  mother  learn  what  is  right  to  be  done,  and  then 
be  prepared  to  oppose  firmly  any  contrary  modes  which 
her  nurse  may  suggest. 

MRS.  L. — Oblige  me  with  some  directions,  which  may 
stand  in  the  place  of  experience. 

MRS.  B. — I  have  already  told  you  how  an  infant  should 
be  washed  for  the  first  time  ;  and  I  recommend  the  same 
plan  to  be  pursued  again  if  the  skin  of  the  infant  does 
not  appear  to  be  thoroughly  cleansed  after  the  first  wash- 
ing. Afterwards  it  is  not  necessary  to  wash  an  infant 
more  than  once  a  day,  except  locally,  as  circumstances 
point  out. 

The  nurse  should,  in  the  morning,  have  in  readiness  a 
basin  of  tepid  water,  a  very  soft  sponge,  and  a  fine  soft 
towel.  On  her  right  hand  should  stand  her  basket,  in 
which  should  be  laid  her  dust  bag,  containing  powdered 
starch,  a  clean  flannel  band,  and,  in  proper  order  beneath, 
all  the  other  articles  she  will  require  in  dressing  the  baby. 
The  nurse  herself  should  wear  a  flannel  apron,  upon  which 
she  should  lay  the  child  while  gently  extricating  him  from 
the  clothes  which  are  about  to  be  changed.  The  head, 
face,  and  throat,  are  then  to  be  washed  with  the  sponge, 
and  to  be  dried  with  a  soft  linen  towel.  Remember 
how  very  tender  and  delicate  the  skin  of  an  infant  is,  and 
do  not  suffer  it  to  be  rubbed  but  in  the  most  gentle  man- 
ner; indeed,  an  infant  should  rather  be  gently  pressed 
than  rubbed  with  the  towel,  and  particularly  under  the 
joints  and  between  the  thighs  ;  the  hands,  anns,  and  thighs, 
should  next  be  washed,  and  when  perfectly  dry,  the  starch 
powder  may  be  used  in  those  parts  which  appear  at  all 
tender  or  likely  to  become  chafed  ;  but  unless  this  be  the 
case,  it  is  better  to  use  no  powder  of  any  kind.'  Drying 
the  skin  well,  when  it  has  been  wetted,  is  the  best  mode  to 
25 


290  WHERE  A  CHILD  SHOt7LD  SLEEP. 

prevent  soreness.  The  infant  should  not  be  kept  longei 
undressed  than  cannot  be  avoided  ;  but  if  it  do  not  appear 
to  be  chilled,  the  nurse  may  gently  rub  its  head,  back, 
and  limbs,  with  her  hand,  until  there  is  a  general  appear- 
ance of  circulation.  As  soon  as  the  clothes  have  been  put 
on,  the  nurse  should  dip  the  end  of  a  soft  piece  of  cam-  • 
brie  into  warm  water,  and  cleanse  the  tongue  with  it. 
Nurses  will,  sometimes,  employ  sugar  and  water  for  this 
purpose ;  but  unless  there  be  any  disease  in  the  mouth, 
plain  water  is  the  best ;  and  the  friction  on  the  tongue 
should  be  so  gentle  as  not  to  occasion  the  infant  to  cry  out. 

When  there  is  hair  on  the  head  of  an  infant,  great  care 
should  be  taken  to  dry  it  well  after  washing  ;  for,  to  put 
a  cap  on  with  the  hair  damp,  would  be  to  incur  the  danger 
of  cold  and  inflammation  in  the  eyes,  or  of  ear-ache  and 
deafness.  A  careful  nurse  will  endeavour  to  guard  the 
organs  of  sense  from  any  injury;  such  as  exposing  the 
eyes  to  a  strong  glare  of  light,  or  the  ears  uncovered  to 
currents  of  air. 

MRS.  L. — Where  do  you  advise  a  child  to  sleep  ?  In 
the  bed  with  its  nurse,  or  in  a  crib  or  cradle  by  itself? 

MRS.  B. — I  believe  that  many  medical  men  are  of 
opinion,  that  a  child  should  sleep  apart  from  its  nurse,  and 
they  maintain  that  it  is  prejudicial  to  its  health  to  sleep 
within  the  reach  of  the  breath  of  a  grown-up  person,  or 
to  be  within  the  influence  of  that  degree  of  bodily  heat 
which  might  occasion  perspiration.  Another  reason  against 
this  practice  is  the  danger  of  overlaying,  that  is,  of  a  sound 
sleeper  lying  upon  an  infant,  whose  feeble  cry  would  not 
be,  in  such  a  case,  audible.  Other  people,  and  among 
them  many  whose  experience  and  good  sense  give  weight 
to  their  opinion,  maintain  that  infants  thrive  faster,  and 
sleep  sounder,  when  they  have  warmth  imparted  to  them, 
by  sleeping  either  on  the  arm,  or  near  to  their  nurses. 
They  instance,  as  examples,  not  unworthy  of  our  imitation, 
our  domestic  animals,  who  shelter  and  nourish  their  offspring 


OBJECTIONS  TO  CRADLES.  291 

by  the  warmth  of  their  own  bodies,  so  long  as  the  feeble 
state  of  their  young  requires  such  care. 

But  notwithstanding  the  advantages  of  this  practice, 
which  I  acknowledge,  because  it  bears  some  analogy  to 
the  habits  and  situation  of  an  infant  in  its  earliest  stage  of 
existence,  before  it  entered  the  world,  I  am  more  inclined 
to  recommend  the  opposite  practice,  and  to  have  an  infant 
sleep  apart  from  its  nurse,  either  in  a  cot  or  a  crib  ;  still 
taking  the  greatest  care,  that  its  bed-clothing  be  sufficiently 
warm,  and  the  crib  guarded  from  every  current  of  air. 
By  this  plan  the  infant  can  scarcely  suffer,  while  by  the 
other,  the  mother  may  o"e  made  anxious  and  uneasy,  if  she 
either  doubt  the  watchfulness  and  carefulness  of  her  nurse, 
or  have  reason  to  apprehend  her  to  be  less  healthy  than 
she  ought  to  be. 

MRS.  L. — What  are  the  objections  entertained  against 
cradles?  They  seem  to  be  entirely  disused,  although 
infants  are  frequently  rocked  to  sleep  on  the  knee. 

MRS.  B. — The  motion  of  the  cradle  is  considered,  in  our 
time,  as  prejudicial  to  an  infant,  by  often  lulling  it  into  a 
state  of  torpor,  when  nature  would  indicate  its  having  had 
a  sufficient  portion  of  sleep,  thus  enabling  a  nurse  to  pursue 
some  employment  of  her  own,  or  to  indulge  herself  at 
the  expense  of  her  nursling's  welfare.  This  is  a  sufficient 
objection  to  cradles ;  but  other  persons  have  advanced  a 
still  more  serious  argument  against  them,  in  the  supposition 
that  a  rocking  motion  has  a  tendency  to  encourage  water 
in  the  head.  They  argue  that  the  gentle  motion  of  the 
knee,  which  is  always  discontinued  the  moment  the  infant 
sleeps,  is  not  to  be  compared  to  the  swing  which  a  care- 
less maid  will  give  the  cradle  with  her  foot,  for  a  long- 
time after  the  necessity  for  rocking  has  ceased.  Infants 
may  be  brought  into  ^e  habit  of  composing  themselves  to 
sleep  at  certain  hours  without  the  aid  of  rocking,  provided 
the  monthly  nurse  can  be  induced  to  begin  the  habit  by 
laying  the  infant  awake  in  its  bed  ;  but  as  she,  in  general, 


292  MANAGEMENT  OF  INFANTS. 

is  too  apt  to  forget  what  may  be  for  the  comfort  of  her 
little  charge,  or  of  its  nursemaid,  after  she  leaves,  it,  she  is 
scarcely  ever  willing  to  adopt  any  new  plan,  if  she  fancy 
it  will  be  productive  of  inconvenience  or  trouble  to  herself 
during  the  month. 

The  room  inhabited  by  an  infant  should  be  of  a  regular 
temperature,  and  as  free  as  possible  from  any  draughts  of 
air ;  but  it  ought  to  be,  in  the  absence  of  the  infant,  well 
ventilated,  and  at  all  times  kept  clean,  and  free  from  disa- 
greeable smells.  Remember,  also,  that  an  infant  should 
never  be  permitted  to  remain  in  a  room  recently  scoured  : 
for  the  damp  arising  from  a  newly-washed  floor  has  been 
known  to  bring  on  an  attack  of  croup. 

An  infant  should  not  be  nursed  in  an  upright  position 
for  the  first  two  months  of  its  life.  It  is  painful  to  see  the 
bent  back  and  weak  neck  of  a  young  child  compelled  to 
support  a  weight  to  which  they  are  unequal ;  yet,  most 
nursemaids,  zealous  to  bring  their  nurslings  forward,  will 
err  in  this  respect,  if  they  be  not  checked  by  the  command 
of  the  parents.  I  have  known  some  ladies,  however,  who 
erred  in  the  contrary  extreme ;  and,  by  keeping  their 
infants  too  long  in  a  reclining  position,  have  prevented  that 
gradual  increase  of  strength  which  might  h.^.ve  been  ac- 
quired by  a  gentle  and  timely  use  of  the  muscles  and 
bones  of  the  back  and  neck  :  and  when  infants  have  been 
brought  to  this  state,  it  has  been  difficult  to  ascertain 
whether  it  had  been  caused  by  the  disuse  of  the  parts,  or 
was  the  effect  of  disease.  An  infant  should  rarely  be  taken 
out  of  doors  for  the  first  month  of  its  life,  unless  the  weather 
be  peculiarly  favourable.  The  extremes  of  heat  or  of  cold 
are  alike  injurious  to  it ;  and  damp  weather  is  peculiarly  so. 

When  circumstances  render  it  expedient  to  employ  a 
hired  nurse  whose  milk  is  several  months  old,  the  infant, 
during  some  days,  should  be  suckled  for  a  few  minutes 
only  at  each  period  of  suckling  it,  lest  the  milk  should 
prove  too  heavy  for  it. 


DISEASES  OF  LNFANTS,  293 

An  infant  should  never  be  left  to  sleep  alone.  Frightful 
accidents  have  occurred  from  negligence  in  this  respect  j 
and,  indeed,  for  the  first  few  days  of  its  life,  an  infant 
should  not  be  in  its  bed  for  half  an  hour  at  a  time,  without 
being  looked  at ;  for,  if  it  should  chance  to  roll  on  its  face, 
it  has  no  power  to  turn  itself  again,  and  were  it  left  for 
any  time  in  this  situation,  with  its  face  against  the  blanket 
or  the  pillow,  it  would  be  in  great  danger  of  being 
smothered.  Infants  are,  also,  liable  to  return  from  their 
stomachs  any  surplus  of  milk  they  have  received ;  and 
when  this  occurs  while  they  are  sleeping,  they  should  be 
gently  lifted  up,  so  that  what  they  vomit  may  be  entirely 
emptied  from  the  mouth. 

The  cry  of  an  infant  ought  never  to  be  disregarded,  as 
it  is  Nature's  voice,  which  speaks  of  some  pain  or  suffer- 
ing. Cries,  however,  are  of  different  kinds  :  for  example, 
that  of  hunger  may  be  soon  known ;  it  is  short  and  wran- 
gling ;  but  when  the  cry  is  a  continued  one,  and  the  legs 
are  drawn  up,  there  must  be  pain.  In  such  a  case  as  this, 
the  breast  must  not  be  administered  until  the  pain  be  re- 
moved. Warm  bathing,  gentle  friction  on  the  bowels, 
examination  of  the  clothes,  to  ascertain  whether  any  liga- 
ture is  drawn  too  tight,  should  be  first  tried,  and  if  the 
infant  still  appear  to  be  in  pain,  %.  gentle  aperient  medicine, 
or  an  injection,  should  be  administered.  Powerful  medi- 
cines should  be  given  only  by  the  advice  of  the  medical 
attendant. 

The  red  gum  (strophulus)  is  a  slight  disease  to  which 
infants  are  liable,  and  which  requires  no  particular  care 
except  to  avoid  exposure  to  cold,  and  to  notice  and 
regulate  the  state  of  the  bowels.  The  disease  called  the 
rank  red  gum,  differs  from  the  former  only  in  the  size  of 
the  pimples,  which  are  larger  than  those  of  the  common 
variety,  and  sometimes  form  into  pustules.  The  warm 
bath,  in  which  bran  has  been  boiled  is  advantageous 
in  this  disease.  A  child  should  never  be  bathed  imme- 
25* 


294  DISEASES  OP  INFAKTS 

diately  after  sucking,  nor  when  it  is  very  hungry;  but, 
when  the  infant  is  dried  and  again  dressed,  it  may  be  put 
to  the  breast,  and  if  it  has  been  relieved  by  the  bathing, 
it  will  probably  fall  into  a  refreshing  and  quiet  sleep. 
Two  persons  are  required  to  assist  in  bathing  an  infant : 
one  to  hold  it  in  the  water  for  four  or  five  minutes,  and  the 
other  to  receive  it,  on  a  flannel  apron  from  the  bath,  and 
to  have  soft  dry  towels  in  readiness,  with  which  to  rub  it 
very  gently,  but  with  such  a  degree  of  briskness  as  will 
prevent  the  child  from  experiencing  any  chill. 

The  hiccough,  in  young  infants,  may  be  stopped  either 
by  a  little  finely-powdered  sugar  laid  on  the  tongue,  or 
by  putting  the  child  to  the  breast  for  a  few  minutes.  If 
the  chests  of  infants  are  well  covered,  they  will  not  be 
very  liable  to  hiccough,  as  it  is  often  caused  by  cold  air 
affecting  that  part. 

Indigestion  and  acidity  will  sometimes  cause  the  bowels 
of  an  infant  to  be  too  much  relaxed ;  for  this,  two  grains 
of  rhubarb,  and  three  of  magnesia,  may  be  given  in  a  little 
sugar  and  water ;  and  if,  in  a  few  hours,  this  mixture  does 
not  act  well,  it  may  be  repeated.  When  the  evacuations, 
although  not  frequent,  yet  have  a  sour  smell,  a  little  mag- 
nesia, with  half  a  grain  of  rhubarb,  may  be  given  in  weak 
mint  water  or  fennel  tea  ;  if  slimy  and  frothy,  the  dose  of 
rhubarb  should  be  increased,  and  the  magnesia  diminished. 
Wind,  when  the  bowels  and  stomach  do  not  appear  to  be 
affected,  is  removed  by  a  little  weak  fennel  or  mint  tea.* 
The  cold  striking  on  the  stomach  and  bowels,  during  care- 
less washing  and  dressing,  is  as  frequent  a  cause  of  these 
irregularities  in  the  bowels  of  infants,  as  indigestion  or  the 
disagreement  of  food. 

If  the  bowels  of  a  child,  who  is  suckled  by  a  hired 
nurse,  are  frequently  disordered,  the  state  of  health  of  the 

*  In  this  country,  where  wood  is  principally  burned  as  fuel,  a  tea  of  wooii- 
•oot  is  readily  made ;  and  when  sweetened,  is  an  excellent  remedy  for  pain  m 
the  stomach  of  infants,  arising  from  wind  or  otherwise.— Amcr.  Ed. 


DISEASES  OF  INFANTS.  295 

nurse  should  be  inquired  into,  her  milk  examined,  and  her 
diet  altered,  as  may  be  judged  expedient,  after  such  an 
examination. 

When  infants  are  troubled  with  a  cold  in  the  head,  which 
impedes  their  breathing  through  the  nose,  and  consequently 
their  sucking  well,  it  may  be  relieved  by  putting  the  feet 
into  warm  salt  and  water  for  about  ten  minutes,  care  being 
taken  to  rub  them  dry  afterwards,  and  to  wrap  them  up 
in  warm  flannel.  Fomenting  the  nose  and  forehead  with 
warm  water  is  also  beneficial  * 

When  sore  eyes  proceed  from  cold,  I  have  been  told  that 
the  mothers  milk  will  be  found  the  best  application  ;  but 
I  have  found  that  bathing  the  eyes  in  warm  water,  cools 
the  inflammation,  unless  it  has  been  very  great,  in  which 
case  medical  advice  should  be  obtained. 

The  greatest  care  must  be  taken  to  keep  up  an  equal 
temperature  in  the  room  inhabited  by  a  young  infant,  but 
particularly  when  it  is  affected  by  cold :  in  which  case  it 
should  not  be  carried  out  of  it,  unless  so  covered  over  as 
to  be  completely  secured  from  currents  of  air,  or  changes 
of  temperature.  If  the  cough  attending  the  cold  be  severe, 
and  it  occur  either  in  the  autumn  or  the  winter  season, 
the  most  effectual  remedy  will  be  putting  the  feet  into 
warm  water,  as  before  directed ;  and  to  clothe  the  infant 
in  a  flannel  waistcoat,  if  that  plan  has  not  been  already 
adopted.  This  waistcoat  should  be  made  of  the  thinnest 
and  softest  materials ;  should  fasten  behind,  and  wrap  over 
at  least  an  inch  and  a  half.  It  should  be  worn  until  warm 
weather  sanctions  its  dismissal,  which  should  take  place 
by  degrees,  a  piece  of  the  waistcoat  being  torn  away  each 
day,  until  the  remnant  may  be  removed  without  occasion- 
ing any  great  change  in  the  warmth  of  the  infant's  dress. 

*  When  infants  have  a  cold  in  the  head,  or  what  is  commonly  called  the 
fnujjles,  in  which  they  are  go  stopped  up  in  the  nose  as  to  breathe  with  diffi- 
culty, greasing  the  nose  and  forehead  with  tallow  will  give  them  great  relief. 

Jmer.  Ed, 


296  DISEASES  OF  INFANTS. 

The  feet  of  an  infant  with  a  cough  should  be  carefully 
covered  :  cold  feet  would  have  a  tendency  to  fix  the  cough 
upon  the  chest. 

When  an  infant  is  fed,  very  great  care  should  be  taken 
not  to  give  the  food  hotter  than  what  may  be  supposed  to 
be  the  heat  of  the  mother's  milk.  Hot  food  sometimes* 
occasions  a  sore  mouth;  when  this  has  occurred,  borax 
finely  powdered  and  mixed  with  honey,  in  the  proportion 
of  one  tea-spoonful  of  borax  to  three  of  honey,  will  gene- 
rally prove  a  cure,  if  a  little  of  it  is  gently  applied  with 
the  finger  to  the  part  affected. 

The  thrush  is  a  disease  in  the  mouth,  bearing  a  resem 
blance  to  the  accidental  soreness  which  I  have  just  men- 
tioned. It  proceeds  from  some  disorder  in  the  stomach 
and  bowels,  and  is  a  dangerous  disease  when  neglected. 
It  begins  with  small  white  blisters  on  the  tongue  and 
inside  of  the  mouth,  which,  when  unchecked,  extend  to 
the  stomach  and  bowels.  The  borax  and  honey  are  the 
only  things  which  need  be  tried  while  the  blisters  remain 
white,  and  the  infant  has  no  fever :  but  if  it  is  attended  by 
too  many  evacuations,  and  these  have  a  sour  smell,  three 
grains  of  rhubarb  and  the  same  quantity  of  magnesia  may 
be  given,  to  act  as  a  gentle  purgative.  But  for  this  com- 
plaint, no  violent  medicine  should  be  given,  unless  directed 
by  the  professional  attendant. — Indeed,  it  is  a  complaint 
for  which  immediate  advice  should  always  be  obtained  ; 
because  it  is  rapid  in  its  course,  when  it  does  not  take  a 
favourable  turn. 

My  friend  Mrs.  F.,  who  has  reared  twelve  children  to 
maturity,  has  several  times  told  me,  that  this  disease  never 
once  occurred  to  any  of  her  offspring ;  and  she  ascribed 
their  exemption  from  it,  to  her  strictly  prohibiting  her  in- 
fants  from  having  any  kind  of  food,  except  the  natural 
aliment,  during  the  month.  She  attributed  this  disease 
chiefly  to  the  effect  of  food  given  to  children,  of  uncertain 
heat,  and  varying  thickness.  Whether  this  opinion  be 


MANAGEMENT  DURING  WEANING.  297 

correct,  I  cannot  say,  but  I  have  no  doubt  that  too  hot  food 
will  occasion  it.  In  children  who  are  suckled,  the  disease- 
is  too  often  caused  by  the  mother's  milk  being  overheated 
by  too  full  living,  or  by  any  violent  exertion.  As  soon  as 
this  is  ascertained,  she  should  adopt  a  cooling  diet,  and 
drink  plentifully  of  barley  water  or  other  diluting  liquors ; 
at  the  same  time  she  must  avoid  lowering  herself  too  much. 
There  is  a  milder  kind  of  thrush  produced  by  teething  ; 
and  this  may  be  best  prevented  by  frequently  washing  an 
infant's  mouth  with  cold  water,  as  before  advised. 

Convulsions  are  not  uncommon  to  very  young  children, 
and  arise,  generally,  from  a  disordered  state  of  the  bowels ; 
sometimes  from  the  pain  caused  by  pins  running  into  their 
little  tender  bodies,  or  from  some  part  of  their  dress  being 
too  tight.  Sometimes,  but  not  often,  this  disease  proceeds 
from  a  bad  organization,  and  then  it  is  without  remedy. 
Whatever  may  be  the  cause  of  convulsions,  whenever  they 
occur,  the  whole  body  of  the  child  should  be.  instantly, 
immersed  up  to  the  throat  in  a  tepid  bath ;  but,  if  warm 
water  cannot  be  immediately  procured  in  sufficient  quan- 
tity, the  feet  and  legs  should  be  put,  without  delay,  into 
ns  large  a  quantity  as  can  be  obtained,  and  this  will  some- 
times be  enough  to  check  the  violence  of  the  attack.  As 
soon  as  the  fit  is  over,  means  must  be  taken  to  prevent  a 
return  ;  and,  as  a  medical  man  can  best  ascertain  the  cause, 
it  is  advisable  to  call  him  in  immediately. 

I  think  I  have  furnished  you  with  all  the  hints  which 
are  essential  regarding  the  treatment  of  infants  for  the  first 
few  weeks  of  their  existence.  What  more  I  have  to  detail 
relates  to  their  management  during  weaning. 

Before  entering,  however,  upon  that  subject,  let  me  ob- 
serve, that  if  the  nurse-maid  is  inexperienced,  to  whose 
charge  an  infant  devolves  after  the  dismissal  of  the  montnly 
nurse,  I  should  advise  the  mother  to  have  her  infant  washed 
and  dressed  for  some  time  in  her  presence,  that  she  may 
be  enabled  to  form  an  opinion  of  the  servant's  capability 


29$  MANAGEMENT  DUKING  WEANING. 

to  perform  this  part  of  her  office.  During  her  superintend- 
ance,  she  may  also  observe  and  point  out  omissions  in  any 
part  of  her  duty,  or  awkwardness  in  holding  the  infant. 
Should  it  be  necessary  for  the  child  to  have  more  nourish- 
ment than  its  parent  can  afford  to  it,  after  it  is  two  or  three 
months  old,  the  mother,  until  she  can  feel  confidence  in 
her  nurse,  and  entertain  no  doubt  of  her  intention  always 
to  obey  her  wishes  and  commands,  should  generally  exa- 
mine the  food  intended  for  the  infant,  in  order  that  she  may 
judge  whether  it  be  of  a  proper  consistency,  sweetness, 
and  warmth. 

If  the  feeding-bottle  be  used  instead  of  a  spoon,  the 
food  cannot  be  given  very  thick,  which  is  an  advantage 
attending  the  use  of  the  bottle  ;  but  it  requires  the  greatest 
possible  care  and  attention  to  keep  it  clean.  If  food  be 
suffered  to  remain  in  the  bottle  it  soon  becomes  sour ;  and, 
in  that  state,  mere  washing  in  cold  water  will  not  render 
it  sufficiently  pure :  before,  therefore,  fresh  food  is  put 
into  it,  the  bottle  should  be  well  scalded.  The  best  plan 
for  keeping  the  bottle  sweet,  is  to  scald  it  once  every  day 
in  water  as  hot  as  the  glass  will  bear,  and  to  place  the 
bottle  in  such  a  direction  as  shall  allow  the  water  to  run 
entirely  out  of  it.  At  other  times  of  the  day,  after  each 
meal,  the  dregs  of  the  food  should  be  poured  away,  and 
the  bottle  rinsed  well  with  cold  water,  and  afterwards  laid 
in  a  basin  of  clean  water,  until  it  is  again  wanted.  Neg- 
ligence in  respect  to  the  cleanliness  of  the  bottle  will  be 
the  means  of  disordering  the  stomach  and  bowels  of  the 
infant.  This  is,  however,  the  only  inconvenience  that  can 
attend  the  use  of  the  bottle.  In  all  other  respects  it  is 
decidedly  better  to  ust  it  for  feeding  a  child,  than  the  spoon 
or  the  boat.  It  renders  the  weaning  much  less  difficult ; 
and,  it  is  impossible,  from  the  bottle,  to  give  the  infant  too 
thick  food,  or  to  force  it  too  fast  into  the  stomach.  It  also 
obliges  the  child  to  work  for  its  food,  which  is  in  itself  an 
important  benefit,  as  it  agrees  with  its  natural  mode  oi" 


POOD  AFTER  WEAXIXG.  £90 

imbibing  nourishment.  The  bottle  has  another  advan- 
tage :  in  the  mere  act  of  sucking  there  is  utility :  for,  in 
doing  so,  the  infant  swallows  some  portion  of  saliva,  by 
which  its  digestion  is  much  assisted. 

The  time  of  weaning  an  infant  depends  so  much  upon 
circumstances,  that  no  fixed  period  for  so  doing  can  be  as- 
signed. Sometimes  a  child  may  be  healthy  and  thriving, 
while  its  parent  or  nurse  is  weakly  and  delicate  ;  in  which 
case  the  welfare  of  both  requires  the  weaning  to  take 
place  at  a  very  early  period ;  but  if,  on  the  contrary,  the 
child  be  delicate,  and  the  parent  vigorous,  it  may  be  ad- 
visable to  continue  the  suckling  even  for  an  unusual  period. 
When  nothing,  however,  exists  to  demand  a  deviation 
from  what  is  common,  a  child  may,  generally,  be  weaned, 
without  suffering  inconvenience,  at  either  seven,  eight,  or 
Tiine  months.  Care  should  be  taken  not  to  begin  weaning 
an  infant  when  there  are  any  untoward  symptoms  of  den- 
tition. 

In  every  case,  weaning  should  be  effected  by  degrees  , 
and  this  not  more  on  account  of  the  infant  than  of  the 
mother.  Three  or  four  weeks  should  be  devoted  to  the 
accomplishment  of  this  point ;  and  the  child,  thus  losing 
by  degrees  the  remembrance  of  its  natural  food,  will  be, 
by  that  time,  reconciled  to  the  more  frequent  use  of  the 
bottle,  and  its  stomach  will  be  better  prepared  to  receive 
its  future  nourishment  than  it  would  have  been  had  the 
weaning  been  more  rapid.  The  mother,  too,  will  have 
gradually  diminished  her  quantity  of  milk  ;  and  what  re- 
mains after  the  weaning  is  completed,  should  be  carried  oft 
by  brisk  aperient  medicines.  If  any  hardness  continue  in 
the  bosom,  the  milk  should  be  drawn  away,  two  or  three 
times  by  suction  in  the  course  of  a  week  or  fortnight. 
Oil  rubbed  gently  on  the  hardened  part  will  also  be  found 
useful. 

One  opinion  seems  to  be  general  concerning  the  food  cf 
infants,  that  immediately  after  weaning  it  should  be  of  a 


300  POOD  AFTER  WEARING. 

thin  consistency,  in  order  to  resemble,  as  nearly  as  pos- 
sible, in  taste  and  quality,  the  natural  aliment  of  which 
the  child  has  been  jusl  deprived.  Yet  various  are  tin 
notions  concerning  the  species  of  nourishment  most  suita- 
ble to  the  digestive  organs  of  infants ;  and,  like  the  dis- 
putants in  the  fable  of  the  chameleon,  the  prejudices  and 
opinions  of  those  in  this  question  may  all  be  right  and  all 
wrong.  I  have  never  yet  met  with  two  children  whom 
the  same  kind  of  food  would  suit  equally ;  indeed,  one  of 
the  chief  difficulties  in  weaning  a  child  is,  to  discover  the 
diet  best  adapted  to  its  constitutional  peculiarities.  I 
will,  however,  mention  those  which  are  usually  found  to 
suit  the  majority  of  children,  unless  there  be  peculiar  de- 
licacy or  disease.  Barley  gruel,  made  according  to  the 
directions  already  given,  has  been  found  a  light  and  nutri- 
tious food  when  sweetened  with  loaf  sugar,  and  mixed 
with  new  milk.  Some  ladies  have  brought  up  large  and 
healthy  families  upon  rice  gruel,  sweetened,  and  mixed 
with  milk  ;  and  others,  who  have  been  equally  successful 
in  rearing  their  children,  have  used,  in  feeding  them. 
Evans's  biscuits,*  powdered  and  boiled  in  milk.  Rusks 
also  form  a  food  with  which  many  children  have  been  fed. 
These  require  to  be  boiled  in  water  till  they  are  sufficiently 
softened  to  be  beaten  to  a  pulp  with  a  spoon,  which  should 
be  done  after  the  water  in  which  they  have  been  boiled 
is  poured  away  from  them,  and  while  they  are  warm : 
they  should  then  be  strained  through  a  hair-sieve  into  a 
clean  basin  or  jar,  and  if  set  in  a  cool  place,  may  be  kept 
for  eight-and-forty  hours,  but  not  longer.  A  table-spoon- 
ful of  this  food  mixed  with  six  or  seven  spoonfuls  of  new 
milk  put  into  a  small  panakin,  and  warmed  over  the  fire, 
will  be  a  sufficient  quantity  for  the  meal  of  a  young  infant. 
The  rusk  food  is,  however,  less  wholesome  than  food 

*  These  biscuits,  which  are  admirably  adapted  for  the  food  of  children,  air 
made  by  a  confectioner,  of  the  name  of  Grecnway,  iu  uuten's  Buildings 
Knightebridgc. 


FOOD  AFTER  WEARING.  301 

made  of  biscuit,  on  account  of  the  yeast  with  which  rusks 
are  made,  and  which  tends  to  cause  fermentation  in  an  in- 
fant's stomach  ;  but  it  is  useful  as  an  occasional  change  of 
food.  The  rusks  being  sweet,  there  is  no  occasion  to  add 
sugar  to  the  food  made  of  them.  I  have  known  some  fine 
children,  who,  after  being  weaned,  have  been  fed  upon 
cows'  milk  scalded,  without  the  addition  of  any  farina- 
ceous substance  :  but  this  will  not  suit  all  stomachs.  Cows' 
milk,  undiluted,  is  too  heavy  for  stomachs  accustomed  to 
a  liquid  of  a  much  lighter  nature.  When  there  is  any  ac- 
cumulation of  bile  on  an  infant's  stomach,  milk  is  very 
liable  to  disagree. 

Veal  broth,  with  rice  boiled  in  it,  strained,  sweetened, 
and  mixed  with  a  little  new  milk,  has  been  given  once  a 
day  to  children  whose  bowels  are  not  strong ;  and  has  ap- 
peared to  agree  with  them  remarkably  well.  1  should 
be  inclined,  in  most  cases,  to  withhold  animal  nourishment 
from  children,  except  milk  and  that  which  can  be  given  in 
the  form  of  broth,  until  they  are  a  year  and  a  half  old. 
Many  people  give  butchers'  meat  to  infants  of  nine  and 
ten  months  old  :  but,  surely,  a  food  of  so  stimulant  a  nature 
cannot  be  proper  for  such  young  children.  Unless  the 
power  to  masticate  animal  food  exist,  I  cannot  help 
thinking  that  it  is  better  to  withhold  that  description  of 
diet,  lest  too  great  a  duty  be  left  for  the  stomach  to 
perform. 

Until  the  period  in  which  animal  food  may  be  given 
once  a  day  to  a  child,  on  account  of  its  increased  size  and 
rapid  growth  absolutely  requiring  that  kind  of  nourishment, 
a  light  and  nutritious  diet  may  be  formed  of  milk  prepared 
either  with  rice,  sago,  or  arrow-root,  or  of  light  bread 
puddings.  A  pudding,  made  with  the  yolk  of  one  egg,  a 
tea-spoonful  of  flour,  and  a  small  cup  of  milk,  mixed 
together,  and  boiled  about  twenty  minutes,  is  a  light,  yet 
nourishing:  meal,  for  a  child  of  eight  or  nine  months  old. 
Beef,  and  veal  broth,  made  in  the  manner  already  de- 
26 


302  BEMARKS  ON  VACCINATION. 

scribed,  are  also  useful,  by  way  of  change,  in  the  ibod  of 
children. 

All  kinds  of  pastry  and  rich  cakes  are  peculiarly  un- 
wholesome for  children  of  any  age ;  but  some  kinds  of  fruit, 
such  as  apples,  baked  as  if  for  tarts,  are  wholesome,  and 
always  pleasant  to  children. 

MRS.  L. — At  what  age  should  a  child  be  vaccinated  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  hope  your  question  implies  that  your  mind 
is  satisfied  of  the  propriety  of  vaccination.  Of  late,  the 
apparent  failures  of  vaccination,  as  a  preventive  of  small- 
pox, appear  to  have  shaken  the  faith  of  many  in  this  valua- 
ble discovery. 

MRS.  L. — Your  suggestion  is  correct,  although  I  am  not 
fully  satisfied  as  to  the  preventive  power  of  the  disease  ; 
and  1  request  to  hear  your  opinion  on  the  subject. 

MRS.  B. — I  do  not  think  that  I  am  qualified  to  give  any 
opinion  on  so  important  a  subject :  but  I  will  read  to  you 
a  few  remarks  on  it,  by  the  same  medical  friend  whose 
observations  on  the  general  treatment  of  disease  you  have 
already  heard. 

"  Vaccination  was  introduced  to  the  notice  of  the  pro- 
fession and  the  public  by  Dr.  Jenner,  as  a  mode  of  pro- 
ducing a  disease  which,  although  its  immediate  effects  upon 
the  body  are  extremely  slight,  yet  has  the  power  of  effect- 
ing such  a  change  in  the  human  system,  as  to  render  it  un- 
susceptible of  the  infection  of  small -pox.  This  opinion 
originated  in  the  fact,  which  had  been  long  notorious,  that 
the  milkers  in  the  dairy  farms  in  Gloucestershire,  to  whom 
cow-pox  had  been  communicated  from  the  cow  in  the 
course  of  their  occupation,  were  not  afterwards  liable 
to  be  affected  with  small-pox.  Many  years'  experience 
had  confirmed  this  fact ;  and  no  case,  which  has  come 
within  my  knowledge,  has  tended  to  invalidate  it :  but, 
as  the  virus  could  not  always  be  obtained  from  the  cow, 
Dr.  Jenner  conceived  the  idea,  that  it  might  be  equally 
effectual  as  a  preventive  of  small-pox,  if  communicated 


REMARKS  ON  VACCINATION.  303 

by  inoculation  from  one  individual  to  another:  and  the 
observations  made,  during  the  first  fifteen  years,  after  the 
introduction  of  vaccination,  seemed  to  confirm  this  opinion. 
The  progressive  experience,  however,  of  late  years,  has 
thrown  some  doubts  iipon  the  accuracy  of  this  opinion ; 
and  numerous  instances  of  small-pox  occurring  in  persons 
who  had  been  vaccinated,  and  who  were  supposed  to  have 
gone  regularly  through  the  vaccine  disease,  have  been 
recorded.  Many  cases  have,  nevertheless,  withstood  not 
only  the  common  exposure  to  the  infection  of  small-pox, 
but  even  the  introduction  of  its  virus  into  the  system  by 
inoculation. 

"  The  causes  of  the  failures,  and  the  determination  of 
the  real  value  of  vaccination  as  a  preventive  of  small-pox, 
have  become  inquiries  of  great  moment  to  the  welfare  of 
the  present  and  succeeding  generations.  To  investigate 
these,  and  to  ascertain  whether  the  virus  of  cow-pox  has 
become  so  weakened,  in  the  series  of  progressive  vaccina- 
tion from  one  individual  to  another,  as  no  longer  to  produce 
that  change  in  the  human  system,  which  alone  can  secure 
it  from  small-pox  ;  or  whether  that  change  be  merely  tem- 
porary, and  may,  as  it  were,  be  worn  out  in  a  certain 
number  of  years,  are  questions  for  the  medical  philosopher 
to  resolve.  In  the  present  stage  of  the  inquiry,  the  parent 
has  only  to  consider,  supposing  that  vaccination  do  not 
secure  those  subjected  to  it  from  small-pox,  whether  small- 
pox, as  it  has  generally  occurred  in  those  who  have  been 
vaccinated,  be  not  a  milder  form  of  the  disease  than 
inoculated  small-pox ;  and  whether,  in  all  respects,  it  be 
more  beneficial  for  the  human  race  to  encourage  the  inocu- 
lation for  small-pox,  or  that  for  cow-pox  ? 

"  In  answering  the  above  queries,  if  we  look  into  medi- 
cal records,  it  is  difficult  to  determine  which  form  of  the 
disease  is  the  milder,  when  the  previous  circumstances  are 
equal.  Thus,  after  vaccination,  when  small-pox  occurs, 
the  febrile  symptoms  are  generally  mild,  and  almost  always 


304  REMARKS  ON  VACCINATION. 

subside  on  the  seventh  day,  after  which  the  patient  rapidly 
recovers  ;  but  in  a  few  instances  the  disease  has  terminated 
fatally,  and  the  same  lamentable  result  has  occasionally 
happened  in  inoculated  small-pox,  although  in  general  it 
is  a  very  mild  disease.  We  may  account  for  these  fatal 
instances,  in  part,  by  admitting  that  in  the  one  set  of  cases 
there  may  have  been  some  irregularity  in  the  vaccination  ; 
one  vesicle  only  may  have  risen,  and  been  opened ;  or 
some  eruptive  disease  may  have  existed  at  the  time  that 
the  child  was  vaccinated  ;  or  some  other  incident  may 
have  prevented  the  constitution  from  being  sufficiently 
brought  under  the  influence  of  the  vaccine  disease.  In  the 
other  set  of  cases,  the  habit  may  not  have  been  sufficiently 
prepared,  previous  to  inoculation  ;  or  some  idiosyncrasy 
may  have  existed,  to  render  the  habit  more  susceptible 
than  usual  of  the  febrile  excitement  induced  by  the  small- 
pox virus.  But  in  the  majority  of  instances,  as  they  have 
occurred,  it  would  appear  that  small-pox  after  cow-pox  is, 
in  general,  a  milder  disease  than  inoculated  small-pox.  If, 
however,  we  admit,  that  when  due  care  is  taken,  the  small- 
pox which  occasionally  follows  cow-pox,  is  only  as  mild 
as  that  which  results  from  inoculation  ;  still  the  preference 
is  to  be  given  to  vaccination,  for  this  reason,  that  the 
inoculation  of  one  subject  in  a  city  or  a  neighbourhood, 
may  be  the  means  of  infecting  many  with  natural  small- 
pox, the  fatal  consequences  of  which,  under  the  best  treat- 
ment, cannot  be  calculated,  and  are  always  to  be  dreaded  ; 
whereas  no  such  result  can  follow  vaccination,  the  general 
adoption  of  which  tends  rather  to  eradicate  natural  small- 
pox, which  has  always  been  justly  regarded  as  one  of  the 
greatest  scourges  of  humanity.  If  these  remarks  be  cor- 
rect, there  can  be  only  one  way  of  answering  the  question 
before  us,  and  of  determining  as  to  the  comparative  benefit 
to  be  expected  from  inoculation  for  small-pox,  and  from 
vaccination. 

'•'  With  regard  to  the  proper  age  for  vaccinating  an  infant, 


KEMARK3  OX  VACCINATION.  305 

experience  has  shown  that,  although  it  may  be  proper  to 
defer  it  for  the  three  or  four  first  weeks  of  an  infant's  life, 
on  account  of  a  variety  of  circumstances  connected  with 
that  period  of  life,  yet,  if  the  organization  of  a  child  be 
perfect,  and  if  the  individual  be  in  good  health,  the  sooner 
it  is  vaccinated  after  the  month  the  better. 

"  The  diseases  which  interfere  with  vaccination  as  a 
preventive  of  small-pox,  are  eruptive  diseases,  teething, 
and  affections  of  an  inflammatory  nature.  Under  eruptive 
diseases  and  teething,  the  specific  irritations  which  these 
occasion  prevent  the  fever  attending  cow-pox  from  being 
sufficient  for  the  constitutional  change,  requisite  to  secure 
the  child  from  the  infection  of  small-pox  ;  and,  when  acute 
inflammatory  diseases  are  present,  the  inflammation  of  the 
vesicle  may  run  to  an  alarming  extent,  and  a  sore  be  pro- 
duced which  can  with  difficulty  be  healed.  In  order  to  be 
certain  that  the  constitution  has  been  properly  affected, 
some  medical  practitioners  re-vaccinate  the  child,  on  the 
fifth  or  sixth  day  after  the  original  vaccination,  with  a  little 
of  its  own  lymph  :  and  while  the  original  vesicles  proceed 
regularly  to  their  termination,  if  those  from  the  re-vaccina- 
tion be  accelerated,  acquire  the  inflamed  areola,  and  scab 
at  the  same  time  with  the  first,  they  then  declare  that  the 
system  has  been  properly  affected.  This  is  a  good  test, 
and  ought  not  to  be  objected  to  by  any  parent. 

"  Parents  are  very  apt  to  object,  also,  to  more  than  one 
or  two  punctures  being  made  in  the  arm  in  vaccination; 
but  in  order  to  secure  the  constitutional  disease,  three  or 
four  should  be  made  in  each  arm,  and  lymph  ought  never 
to  be  taken  from  any  arm,  on  which  there  are  not  two  or 
three  vesicles,  one  only  of  which  should  be  opened." 

MRS.  L. — Are  you  an  advocate  for  small-pox  inoculation 
after  vaccination  ? 

MRS.  B. — 1  believe  it  to  be  too  severe  a  test.  Con- 
sider how  much  more  virulent  a  disease  it  is  likely  to  be, 
when  the  poison  by  which  it  is  communicated  is  inserted 
26* 


306  REMARKS  ON  VACCINATION* 

into  the  veins  and  mingled  with  the  blood,  than  when  tli 
infection  is  conveyed  only  by  natural  means  ;  especially , 
if  it  is  a  fact,  (and  that  it  is  so,  medical  men  have  had  sul 
ficient  experience,)  that  after  vaccination  the  formidable 
nature  of  smaU-pox  taken  accidentally  is  so  greatly  sub 
dued. 

MRS.  L. — The  remarks  of  your  medical  friend  have 
strengthened  the  opinions  I  had  previously  entertained  on 
the  subject  of  vaccination.  Indeed  there  scarcely  appears 
to  be  a  choice  between  vaccination  and  inoculation  for 
small-pox,  since  the  good  of  society  demands  that  every 
probable  means  be  employed,  by  which  a  scourge,  such  as 
the  small-pox,  may  be,  if  not  exterminated,  diminished  in 
prevalence  and  power :  and  our  duty  to  our  offspring 
equally  requires  us  not  to  refuse  even  the  probability  of 
securing  them  from  a  loathsome  disease,  the  effects  of 
which  sometimes  remain  in  the  constitution  through  life. 

MRS.  B. — Your  opinions  appear  to  me  to  be  just.  Un- 
certainty attends  the  administering  of  every  remedy  for 
disease,  and  that  the  antidote  for  small-pox  shares  this 
uncertainty,  is  no  more  a  reason  why  it  should  be  aban- 
doned and  disused,  than  for  the  entire  neglect  of  many  a 
useful  medicine  which  may  sometimes  fail  in  its  desired 
effects.  Employ,  then,  with  reasonable  hopes,  the  means 
of  prevention  which  have  been  so  wonderfully  discovered 
to  us.  If  a  failure  follow  vaccination,  you  have  still  gained 
an  advantage  over  the  more  formidable  disease,  by  having 
bestowed  a  power  on  the  constitution  to  modify  and  dis- 
arm it  of  a  great  portion  of  its  malignity. — And  now  fare- 
well,—it  is  time  for  us  to  separate. 


PART  III. 

THE  REGULATION  OF  TIME. 


CONVERSATION   I. 

GENERAL  REMARKS. — MORNING. — ADVANTAGES  OF  EARLY 
RISING. — HABIT  MAKES  IT  EASY  AND  AGREEABLE. — THE 
FIRST  MORNING  DUTY  PRIVATE  DEVOTION. — MORNING 
THE  BEST  TIME  FOR  STUDY. — FOR  THE  REGULATION  OF 
HOUSEHOLD  AFFAIRS. — SETTLEMENT  OF  ACCOUNTS. — 
INSTRUCTION  OF  CHILDREN. — MUCH  TIME  SAVED  BY 
SKETCHING  OUT  A  REGULAR  PLAN  FOR  THE  BUSINESS  OF 
THE  DAY. 

MRS.  B. — Perhaps  you  will  consider  it  as  of  little  use 
to  talk  to  you  of  the  value  of  time,  or  to  remind  you  how 
irrecoverably  each  moment  flies  away;  that  we  are  all 
approaching  with  rapid  steps,  the  period  at  which  we  must 
account  for  the  neglect  and  abuse  of  the  term  of  years 
allotted  to  each  of  us  in  this  world ;  and  that  every  day  has 
duties  prescribed,  which  can  only  be  well  fulfilled  by  the 
appropriate  regulation  of  our  time.  So  hackneyed  are 
such  reflections,  that  although  we  may  acquiesce  in  their 
truth,  yet,  we  rarely  allow  them  to  influence  our  conduct. 
On  the  contrary,  we  permit  days  and  years  to  escape  un- 
heeded, and  employed  to  little  purpose  either  to  our- 
selves or  to  others.  The  fleeting  nature  of  time,  and  our 


308  GENERAL  REMARKS. 

finite  existence  on  earth,  we  acknowledged  to  be  awful 
subjects  for  contemplation,  but,  alas !  how  transitory,  and, 
often,  how  useless  is  the  impression  which  the  thoughts  of 
these  truths  occasion  on  our  hearts! 

Notwithstanding  all  this,  I  will  not  be  deterred  from 
pointing  out  to  you,  as  forcibly  as  I  can,  some  of  the  ad- 
vantages to  be  obtained  by  economising  time.  I  have 
heard  those  who  have  passed  the  meridian  of  life  declare, 
that  the  chief  cause  for  regret  and  remorse  which  their 
retrospections  afforded  them,  sprung  more  from  the  con- 
viction of  having  spent  the  best  part  of  their  time  in  an 
unprofitable  manner,  than  from  any  recollections  of  ac- 
tual misconduct.  The  remembrance  of  our  errors  may  be 
softened  by  many  circumstances,  particularly,  when  they 
have  been  followed  by  the  atonement  of  repentance  and 
amendment ;  but,  for  loss  of  time,  repentance  generally 
comes  too  late.  It  is  not  in  the  power  of  youth  justly  to 
estimate  time.  In  that  season  of  health  and  vigour,  when 
the  greater  part  of  life,  judging  by  human  foresight,  lies 
before  us,  we  can  scarcely  persuade  ourselves  that  our 
existence  is  not  for  an  eternity ;  at  least  the  unwelcome 
truth  is  only  acknowledged  at  a  later  period,  when  our 
faculties  begin  to  be  impaired,  or  when  the  powers  of  our 
minds  are  enfeebled  by  indisposition.  Then  it  is  that  we 
exclaim  at  the  shortness  of  life,  and  on  the  vain  use  we 
have  made  of  it ;  and  then,  when  we  would  strive  to 
redeem  lost  time,  we  discover  the  attempt  to  be  impos- 
sible. Our  intellectual  powers  appear  to  us  spell-bound, 
and  unable  to  grant  us  the  aid  which  at  an  earlier  season, 
we  might  have  claimed.  Memory  has  lost  its  tenacity, 
and  judgment  its  clearness  and  decision  ;  and  unavailing 
regret  is  the  only  fruit  of  time  wasted  and  talents  misap- 
plied. This  regret,  I  am  afraid,  is  the  portion  of  the 
many,  while  the  few  only  can  look  back  with  entire  satis- 
faction on  their  past  lives,  having  the  consciousness  that 
they  have  neither  hidden  the  talents  intrusted  to  them, 


ADVANTAGES  OF  EARLY  RISING.  309 

Dor  employed  them  in  any  manner  injurious  to  society  nor 
to  themselves. 

I  hope,  my  young  friend,  that  such  pleasurable  retro- 
spections will  one  day  be  yours ;  but  they  must  be  pur- 
chased, even  now,  by  the  abandonment  of  every  indolent 
habit  and  frivolous  pursuit.  This  at  first  may  be  irksome 
to  you  ;  but  you  will,  in  the  end,  discover  that  you  have 
secured  the  substance,  and  given  up  only  the  shadow  of 
enjoyment.  Vapid,  joyless,  and  splenetic  is  the  close  of 
that  life,  of  which  the  commencement  has  been  unprofi- 
tably  employed,  while  cheerfulness  and  serenity  gene- 
rally mark  the  old  age  of  a  well-spent  youth. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  convinced  of  the  truth  of  your  re- 
marks ;  and,  although  [  may  not  be  able  to  regulate  my 
time  as  advantageously  as  I  desire,  yet  I  still  wish  to  form 
a  plan,  and  to  pursue  it  with  as  few  deviations  as  circum- 
stances will  permit.  Tell  me,  therefore,  how  you  would 
dispose  of  the  morning. 

MRS.  B. — The  morning  is  the  best  part  of  the  day  for 
the  discharge  of  every  employment  connected  with  the 
business  of  a  family ;  and  also  for  pursuing  any  private 
study. 

But  before  I  proceed,  I  must  again  talk  to  you  of  the 
advantages  of  early  rising.  In  a  former  conversation,  the 
habit  as  recommended  for  its  beneficial  effects  upon  the 
constitution.  Now  we  will  consider  it  only  in  regard  to 
those  it  produces  in  the  regulation  of  a  family  To  speak 
of  a  lady  as  an  early  riser,  is  almost  to  proclaim  her  house 
to  be  orderly  and  well-managed.  When  the  heads  of  a 
family  remain  in  bed  until  late  in  the  day,  their  servants, 
imitators  of  most  of  their  habits,  are  sure  to  become  slug- 
gards :  self-indulgence  being  one  of  the  sins  of  our  nature, 
from  which  we  must  not  expect  our  dependants  to  be 
more  exempt  than  ourselves,  especially  when  they  per- 
ceive, that  few  efforts  are  made  on  our  part  to  subdue  it. 
MRS.  L. — It  is  very  difficult  to  persevere  in  the  habit 


310  ADVANTAGES  OF  EARLY  RISING. 

of  rising  early  in  London,  where  late  hours  of  visiting 
prevail. 

MRS.  B. — Certainly  it  is,  because  without  an  ample 
portion  of  rest  and  sleep,  health  would  be  impaired,  and 
bad  health  is  as  subversive  of  good  management  and 
order  as  irregular  habits.  But,  although  constant  dissi- 
pation and  its  consequent  late  hours  are  to  be  regarded  as 
destructive  of  a  wise  regulation  of  time,  yet  I  have  known 
one  or  two  instances  of  ladies,  who,  leading  what  many 
sober-minded  matrons  would  consider  to  be  dissipated 
lives,  have  continued  to  persevere  in  the  habit  of  early 
rising;  and  by  that  means  have  fulfilled  duties  which 
must,  otnerwise,  have  been  omitted.  You  probably  re- 
member Mrs.  Y ,  who  herself  educated  her  niece,  and 

in  a  very  superior  manner : — yet  she  was  generally  con- 
sidered as  a  woman  devoted  to  amusement  and  society. 
Her  house  was  the  resort  of  the  gay  and  the  fashionable, 
and  she  was  so  often  seen  amidst  the  gayeties  of  the  me- 
tropolis, that  no  one  who  was  unacquainted  with  her  habits 
would  have  guessed  that  she  could  find  time  to  discharge 
the  duties  of  an  instructress,  and  with  so  successful  a  re- 
sult. The  hours  she  devoted  to  her  niece  were  from  six 
in  the  morning  till  ten  o'clock,  her  breakfast  hour ;  after 
which  she  did  little  else  than  attend  to  the  calls  of  amuse- 
ment. This  habit  of  early  rising  she  always  preserved  ; 
and,  as  she  was  rarely  indisposed,  I  have  no  doubt  it  was 
one  of  the  means  by  which  her  health  was  preserved  ; 
for  her  other  habits  were  unfavourable  to  the  continuance 
of  that  blessing.  The  lady  of  Captain  G ,  also,  af- 
forded a  similar  instance  of  the  benefits  of  early  rising. 
She  was  the  mother  of  a  large  family,  to  the  number  of 
which  she  was  yearly  adding  ;  yet  she  arose  at  six  o'clock 
every  day,  and  until  the  breakfast  hour,  devoted  herself 
to  the  superintendence  of  household  concerns,  and  to  the 
instruction  of  some  of  the  younger  children.  Nor  was 
this  all :  she  often  investigated  the  state  of  her  children's 


FIRST  MORNING  DUTY.  31 1 

wardrobe,  cut  out  the  new  clothes,  and  pointed  out  to  her 
needle-woman  the  old  ones  which  required  to  be  repaired. 
After  breakfast  she  devoted  two  or  three  hours  more  to 
the  general  superintendence  of  her  servants  and  children, 
and  then  pursued  her  various  schemes  of  amusement  and 
dissipation  for  the  day.  I  must,  however,  acknowledge 
to  you,  that  notwithstanding  this  valuable  habit  of  Mrs. 

G ,  her  family  was  not  altogether  well  managed.  She 

was,  too  frequently,  absent  from  home,  which  gave  liberty 
to  her  governess  and  servants  to  relax  from  their  duties. 
I  am  not  citing,  indeed,  either  of  these  ladies  as  examples 
of  domestic  management,  but  only  to  point  out  how  much 
good  may  be  done  by  this  habit  of  early  rising  ;  and  how 
much  more  might  both  these  individuals,  with  the  abilities 
which  they  possessed,  have  performed,  had  their  love  of 
pleasure  been  more  limited. 

MRS.  L. — It  requires  much  more  resolution  than  I  pos- 
sess to  be  an  early  riser,  particularly  in  the  winter ;  nor 
do  I  ever  feel,  after  rising  early,  that  1  am  in  that  vigorous 
state  which  you  describe  to  be  its  effect ;  and,  certainly,  I 
have  never  yet  found  myself  able  at  that  time  of  the  day 
either  to  study  or  to  devote  myself  to  useful  employments. 

MRS.  B. — You  cannot  have  persevered  in  the  practice, 
until  it  had  settled  into  a  habit,  or  you  would  not  make 
this  complaint.  An  occasional  effort  will  not  form  a  habit ; 
and  it  is  habit  alone  that  makes  those  things  pleasant  and 
agreeable,  which,  in  the  first  instance,  oppose  our  love  of 
self-indulgence.  To  break  an  old  habit,  and  to  form  a 
new  one,  is  never  easy  nor  pleasant ;  and  a  certain  proba- 
tionary state  must  be  endured,  before  success,  and  the 
satisfaction  which  accompanies  it,  can  be  enjoyed. 

Whether  we  rise  early  or  late,  you  will  agree  with  me, 
that  our  first  morning  duty  is  to  offer  prayers  and  praises 
to  God.  What  can  be  so  natural  and  proper,  as  to  dedi- 
cate our  first  thoughts  to  Him  ?  He  it  is  who  has  pro- 
tected us  through  the  dangers  of  the  night,  who  restores 


312  PRIVATE  DEVOTION. — STUDY. 

us  each  morning  from  a  state  almost  approaching  to  death, 
to  one  of  enjoyment  and  usefulness :  and  he  it  is  who 
showers  down  blessings  upon  us,  so  abundantly,  and  so  in- 
finitely greater  in  number  than  we  can  expect  or  deserve. 

In  a  devotional  mind,  such  thoughts  as  these  daily  recur, 
and  yet  they  require  to  be  encouraged  by  religious  ex- 
ercises, before  their  fervour  is  lessened  by  the  obtrusion  of 
the  daily  cares  or  pursuits  of  a  busy  and  anxious  existence. 
Besides  these  offerings  of  grateful  acknowledgments  for 
blessings  conferred  upon  us,  it  is  no  less  incumbent  on  us 
to  petition  for  aid  against  the  time  of  peril  and  temptation, 
that  our  minds  may  be  prepared  to  encounter  the  unknown 
events  of  the  day,  whatever  they  may  prove  ;  and  fortified 
to  bear  the  effects  of  trials,  perhaps  unforeseen  and  appa- 
rently improbable. 

To  our  sex,  in  particular,  the  support  to  be  derived 
from  this  communication  with  our  Heavenly  Father,  is, 
indeed,  most  essential.  If  weak  in  spirit  and  in  judgment, 
from  Him  we  can  receive  strength.  If  our  virtuous  reso- 
lutions falter,  and  we  are  tempted  to  wande-  from  the 
right  path,  we  have  but  to  refer  ourselves  to  God,  to  seek 
his  guidance  in  sincerity,  and  we  shall  become  firm  and 
decisive,  no  longer  doubting  the  course  we  ought  to 
pursue. 

This  duty  being  performed,  I  recommend  you,  if  in  the 
pursuit  of  any  study,  to  devote  yourself  to  it  in  this  early 
part  of  the  morning.  The  same  undisturbed  state  of  mind, 
which  it  is  desirable  to  possess  when  engaged  in  religious 
exercises,  is  also  very  advantageous  in  study.  The  less 
engrossed  your  thoughts  are  in  worldly  concerns,  the  more 
command  you  will  have  over  your  attention ;  and  your 
memory  will  consequently  be  more  retentive  and  accurate. 
If  we  sit  down  to  read,  either  with  a  mind  pre-occupied, 
or  with  a  listless  and  careless  temper,  we  shall  utterly 
waste  our  time  ;  for,  unless  our  attention  be  fixed  upon  the 
subject  we  desire  to  study,  we  shall  derive  little  improve- 


STUDY. — HOUSEHOLD  CONCERNS.        313 

ment ;  and  the  information  thus  obtained  will  be  confused 
and  inaccurate.  The  advantages  of  early  rising,  for  the 
purposes  of  study,  may  be  easily  calculated.  Let  us  for  a 
moment  reflect  on  the  extent  of  information  which  any  one 
of  moderate  abilities  might  acquire,  in  seventy-three  days, 
by  a  close  application  during  ten  hours  a  day ;  yet  two 
hours  every  morning,  for  a  year,  are  equal  to  ten  hours 
daily  for  seventy-three  days  ;  and  more  than  equal,  from 
the  time  of  the  day  to  which  they  belong,  and  the  vigorous 
freshness  of  the  mind  at  that  period.  How  many  lan- 
guages, how  much  literature,  and  how  many  sciences, 
even  the  most  abstruse,  might  be  acquired  in  an  ordinary 
lifetime,  were  only  those  morning  hours  regularly  devoted 
to  study. 

Unless  the  means  of  a  married  woman  be  so  circum- 
scribed in  regard  to  expenditure,  that  she  is  constrained  to 
make  her  own  clothes,  and  those  of  her  children,  she  ought 
to  consider  the  cultivation  of  her  mental  powers  as  one  of 
the  duties  which  her  Creator  will  expect  from  her:  too 
often,  indeed,  is  this  object  neglected,  nay,  despised  by 
the  notable,  and,  in  other  respects,  praise-worthy  house- 
wife, who  deems  reading  but  a  species  of  idleness,  and 
who  considers,  that  to  dress  well,  to  attend  to  the  cleanli- 
ness and  neatness  of  her  house  and  children,  and  to  feed 
her  family  with  economy  and  sufficiency,  constitute  the 
whole  occupations  of  her  sex,  and  the  end  of  her  being. 

MRS.  L. — What  part  of  the  morning  would  you  devote 
to  household  concerns  ? 

MRS.  B. — I  should  enjoin  all  business  of  that  nature  to 
be  settled  immediately  after  breakfast,  and  before  and 
other  employment  is  begun.  Cooks  are  often  much  teazed 
by  the  habit  which  ladies  acquire  of  deferring  the  time 
for  giving  their  orders,  until  the  middle  of  the  day :  this 
is  liable  to  occasion  a  general  hurry  and  confusion,  from 
the  apprehension  that  the  whole  of  the  work  will  not  be 
accomplished  in  time.  In  making  your  daily  round 
27 


314  INSTRUCTION  OF  CHILDREN. 

through  your  kitchen  and  the  other  offices  connected  with 
it,  you  should  look  around  you  to  see  if  every  thing  be  in 
order,  and  if  the  morning's  work  has  been  properly  per- 
formed by  the  domestics.  After  having  given  your  orders 
for  the  day,  the  cook  will  be  able  to  tell  you  what  she  will 
require  from  your  store-closet ;  and,  at  the  same  time, 
your  other  servants  should  come  to  you  for  any  articles, 
such  as  soap  and  candles,  which  they  may  require  in  their 
separate  departments.  Once  in  the  week,  you  should 
make  a  point  of  settling  your  accounts,  and  of  paying  all 
current  expenses.  In  performing  this  duty,  you  will  find 
much  anxiety  saved,  when  you  balance  your  cash,  if  you 
keep  a  small  memorandum-book,  independent  of  the  house- 
book,  which  I  formerly  described  to  you,  in  which  the- 
money  you  receive,  and  that  which  you  casually  expend, 
should  be  regularly  entered.  Thus,  if  you  receive  ten 
pounds  for  housekeeping,  enter  that  sum  upon  one  page, 
and  on  the  opposite  page  enter  all  the  sums,  however 
snail,  that  you  have  expended.  Thus,  suppose  the  sums 
in  the  page  of  expenditure,  when  added  together,  amount 
to  3/.  4s.  3id.,  and  those  paid  to  the  butcher,  baker,  and 
other  tradesmen,  with  whom  you  keep  books,  are  equal 
to  5/.  3s.  2d.,  the  total  sum  of  expenditure  being  8/.  7s.  5£d.. 
you  should  have  I/.  12s.  6id.  remaining  in  your  purse. 

The  propriety  or  necessity  of  attending  to  such  minutiae, 
depends  entirely  upon  the  circumstances  and  situation  of 
each  individual  mistress  of  a  family ;  and  where  circum- 
stances require  this  attention  to  expenditure  in  all  the 
minute  branches  of  good  housewifery,  no  time  of  the  day 
can  be  so  suitably  devoted  to  it  as  the  morning.  When 
this  business  is  finished,  many  ladies  find  time  to  instruct 
their  children  in  some  of  the  branches  of  their  education  : 
and  this  being  accomplished,  the  rest  of  the  day  is,  in 
most  cases,  free  for  other  pursuits,  or  for  the  various  de- 
mands of  our  social  and  relative  connexions  upon  our  time. 

MRS.  L.— I  have  been  long  aware,  that  an  irregular 


INSTRUCTION  OF  CHILDREN.  316 

disposal  of  lime  is  fatal  to  good  order  in  a  family,  as  well 
as  a  barrier  to  the  improvement  of  young  people,  in  any 
of  the  pursuits  to  which  their  attention  is  generally  turned. 
This  I  have  seen  exemplified  in  a  family  connected  with 
mine :  the  mother  is  an  amiable  and  good  woman,  and 
most  solicitous  to  promote  the  improvement  of  her  daugh- 
ters in  every  way ;  and  they,  possessing  good  sense,  and 
more  than  ordinary  abilities,  are  as  desirous  to  forward  her 
wishes;  but  by  the  mother's  want  of  judgment,  and  her 
irregularity  in  the  arrangement  of  their  time  and  her  own, 
all  her  hopes  and  expectations  are  thwarted.  She  has 
four  daughters,  and  each  of  them  she  decreed  should  be 
all-accomplished,  without  taking  into  consideration  the 
difference  between  them  in  character  and  abilities,  and 
how  far  any  one  of  them  was  unable  to  fulfil  her  wishes. 
Almost  from  the  time  they  began  to  learn,  a  great  part  of 
each  day  was  devoted  to  receiving  lessons  from  various 
masters.  No  fashionable  accomplishment  was  omitted , 
not  even  instruction  in  any  of  the  whims  of  the  day :  shoe- 
making,— modelling, — the  systems  of  Feinagle  and  Logier, 
chemistry  and  phrenology,  have  each  had  their  turn. 
This  division  of  their  time  and  attention  has  been  fatal  to 
that  steady  application  by  which  a  proficiency  in  any  thing- 
can  be  attained.  But  this  is  not  the  only  error  committed 
in  their  education  :  the  moment  each  lesson  is  over,  their 
thoughts  are  diverted  into  some  contrary  channel,  before 
they  have  had  time  to  digest,  or  practise  upon  the  instruc- 
tion they  have  received.  And  very  often,  too,  one  or  two 
of  them  are  taken  from  their  lessons,  to  accompany  their 
mother  to  an  exhibition,  or  to  fritter  away  hours  in  select- 
ing and  ba-gaining  for  ribands  and  lace.  Their  thoughts 
are  in  a  perpetual  whirl,  and  they  often  declare  they  have 
not  time  for  any  thing.  The  consequence  is  evident: — 
they  are  only  smatterers  in  accomplishments,  while,  with 
their  abilities,  they  might  have  been  ranked  as  clever  and 
intelligent  young  women,  had  they  steadily  applied  to  the 


3 1 G  pjzoc'RASTijf  ATJO:?, 

attainment  of  a  few  objects,  instead  of  vainly  attempting 
to  excel  in  a  thousand. 

MRS.  B. — Hurrying  thus  from  one  pursuit,  and  from  one 
scene  to  another,  must  indeed  destroy  both  the  power 
and  the  desire  of  application,  and  must  also  check  the 
progress  of  any  mental  habits,  such  as  those  of  devotion 
and  reflection  ;  proving  a  barrier  to  the  formation  of  a 
well-regulated  mind.  There  is  also  another  habit  destruc- 
tive to  economy  of  time ;  I  mean  procrastination,  which  is 
a  branch  of  self-indulgence  that  entirely  defeats  its  own 
purpose,  by  causing  an  accumulation  of  business  to  be 
always  hanging  over  the  procrastinator.  This,  his  con- 
science tells  him  he  ought  not  to  neglect,  but  the  very 
thoughts  of  it  overpower  him ;  and  with  the  irresolution 
which  is  an  accompanying  trait  of  the  failing  of  procras- 
tination, he  is  generally  a  most  unhappy  being.  Wher. 
this  habit  is  indulged  in  by  the  mistress  of  a  family,  it 
involves  her  in  perpetual  confusion.  If  the  duties  and 
avocations  of  yesterday  are  deferred  till  to-day,  the  accumu 
lation  must  cause  a  distressing  pressure  of  business  both  to 
her  servants  and  herself,  and  must  prevent  any  part  of  it 
from  being  well  performed.  In  the  single  circumstance 
of  deferring  necessary  repairs  in  clothes  and  linen,  or  in 
neglecting  to  renew,  in  good  time,  such  as  are  wearing- 
out,  what  inconvenience  is  the  consequence !  Probably 
whole  sets  of  linen  for  several  different  members  of  a 
family,  are  to  be  furnished  at  once  :  and  this,  in  the  case 
of  those  with  limited  incomes,  can  never  be  done  without 
pecuniary  inconvenience  ;  and,  yet,  if  this  supply  of  linen 
be  neglected  until  a  more  convenient  time  to  purchase  it, 
the  disreputable  appearance  of  the  family  must  be  the 
alternative.  I  have  seen  a  striking  proof  of  the  advantages 
of  a  contraiy  spirit,  in  Mrs.  D.'s  management,  who  has 
often  been,  laughingly,  accused  by  hor  friends,  of  perform- 
ing to-day  the  duties  of  to-morrow,  and  anticipating  all  its 
wants.  However  this  may  be,  her  example  is  most  worthy 


PLAN  FOR  THE  BUSINESS  OF  THE  DAY.  317 

of  imitation  by  all  those  who  have  large  families ;  for  in  hers, 
neatness,  order,  and  comfort,  are  evident  characteristics ; 
and  yet  these  are  preserved  without  any  apparent  effort 
or  trouble  :  and  Mrs.  D.  herself,  though  she  does  not  enter 
into  general  society,  yet  has  always  devoted  much  time 
to  the  instruction  of  her  children.  They  who  know  her, 
"will  also,  with  one  voice,  acknowledge,  that  she  has  never 
failed  to  answer  the  large  demands  which  friendship  and 
benevolence  have  often  made  upon  her  time  and  kind 
offices.  This  she  could  hardly  have  accomplished  but  for 
the  orderly  state  in  which  her  family  was  kept  by  her  skill 
and  foresight. 

As  much  time  is  saved,  or  rather  gained,  by  a  regular 
disposal  of  each  division  of  the  day,  I  recommend  to  you 
to  plan  the  whole  out  every  morning  ;  and  as  far  as  you  can 
command  circumstances,  to  pursue  that  plan  steadily.  In 
what  regards  the  business  of  your  family,  endeavour  to 
arrange  its  performance  as  nearly  at  the  same  time  of  each 
day  as  can  be  conveniently  done  ;  because  that  will  enable 
your  servants  to  regulate  their  work  accordingly,  and  it 
will  spare  them  any  confusion  or  hurry,  which  must  ensue 
from  late  orders. — Let  every  thing  be  done  in  order,  and 
in  the  right  season,  and  you  will  never  be  inclined  to  deny 
the  truth  that  "there  is  a  time  for  all  things." 
27* 


318 


CONVERSATION  II. 

AFTERNOON. — OCCUPATIONS  AT  HOME. — LIGHT  READING. 
— DRAWING. — MUSIC. LIGHT  AND  ORNAMENTAL  NEEDLE- 
WORK.  FOLLY  OF  NEGLECTING  THESE  ACCOMPLISH- 
MENTS IN  THE  MARRIED  STATE.— OCCUPATIONS  OUT  OF 

DOORS. EXERCISE. VISITING. SEEING   SIGHTS. 

SHOPPING. 

MRS.  L. — After  the  duties  of  the  morning  are  over, 
there  still  remains  a  considerable  portion  of  time  to  be 
filled  up  before  dinner.  I  do  not  think  that  any  employ- 
ment requiring  steady  attention,  or  freedom  from  interrup- 
tion, could  be  entered  upon  with  great  advantage  during 
this  period  of  the  day,  which  is  generally  open  for  the 
reception  of  occasional  visiters. 

MRS.  B. — There  are  several  occupations  to  which  this 
part  of  the  day  may,  notwithstanding,  be  appropriated ; 
and  which  may  be  put  aside  and  resumed  without  much 
inconvenience. 

1  suppose  that,  during  the  morning,  you  have  pursued 
some  serious  or  useful  study  in  private,  while  your  mind 
remained  unoccupied  by  any  of  the  concerns  of  the  day. 
Now,  then,  you  will  find  it  expedient  to  devote  the  re 
mainder  of  your  time  before  dinner  to  various  avocations, 
such  as  the  perusal  of  any  lighter  or  amusing  volumes 
which  you  may  happen  to  have  near  you.  Many  of  these 
publications  of  the  day  will  increase  or  renew  your  gene- 
ral information,  will  keep  up  your  acquaintance  with  the 
world,  and  will,  at  least,  afford  you  an  innocent  amusement. 
In  this  kind  of  light  reading,  I  include  some  of  our  best 
novels,  biography,  poetry,  travels,  and  several  of  the  pe 
4riodical  works:  and,  as  you  will,  probably,  frequently 


FOLLY  OF  KEGLECTING  ACCOMPLISHMENTS.       319 

enter  into  society,  such  reading  may  now  and  then  afford 
you  topics  for  conversation,  when  that  which  is  afloat  seems 
either  to  be  declining  in  interest,,  or  to  be  turned  to  disa- 
greeable and  painful  subjects.  If,  however,  to  avoid  any 
appearance  of  pedantry,  you  do  not  choose  to  avail  your- 
self of  literary  topics,  you  will  still  find  your  reading  use- 
ful to  you,  if  it  only  increases  your  interest  in  the  conver- 
sation around  you,  and  give  you  a  readiness  in  joining  in 
it,  and  in  occasionally  sustaining  it  yourself. 

Drawing,  music,  or  light  and  ornamental  needlework 
will  afford  you  variety  in  the  occupations  of  this  part  of 
the  day :  these  can  easily  be  resumed  after  the  interruption 
of  visiters  ;  indeed,  any  needlework  with  which  you  may 
be  occupied  at  the  entrance  of  morning  visiters,  may  be 
continued  without  any  breach  of  politeness  towards  them, 
provided  it  be  not  of  a  nature  to  divert  your  thoughts  from 
their  conversation,  or  to  cause  you  to  remit  any  polite 
attentions. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  tempted  to  abandon  music  and  drawing 
altogether,  from  the  apprehension  that  for  want  of  time  to 
practise  both  these  arts,  I  shall  lose  so  great  a  degree  of 
my  proficiency  in  them,  that  they  will  soon  cease  to  be 
valuable  either  as  amusements  to  myself  or  to  others. 

MRS.  B. — Were  you  to  do  so,  I  should  not  think  that 
you  determined  wisely.  You  have  absolutely  laboured, 
for  the  greater  part  of  your  life,  to  attain  considerable  skill 
in  both  these  arts,  and  have  succeeded  in  your  efforts ; 
and,  because  you  are  married,  and  have  more  demands 
than  formerly  upon  your  time  and  attention,  you  would,  in 
effect,  cast  away  all  your  previous  exertions.  Your  friend 
Maria  pursues  the  contrary  system,  and  although  she  has 
the  arduous  charge  of  a  young  family,  whom  she  has 
never  neglected,  she  contrives  to  keep  in  practice  most  of 
the  acquirements  of  her  youth.  Perhaps  she  is  making  no 
progress  in  them ;  but  still,  she  has  certainly  skill  enough 
in  these  accomplishments  to  gratify  and  amuse  her  husband 


320       FOLLY  OF  NEGLECTING  ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 

and  many  of  her  friends ;  and,  with  the  aid  of  her  lively 
conversation,  to  give  a  charm  to  the  social  parties  which 
often  assemble  around  her.  I  can  scarcely  think  those 
persons  too  severe,  who,  asserting  that  women,  after  mar- 
riage, suffer  their  talents  to  fall  into  disuse,  conclude  that 
they  have  previously  cultivated  them  rather  for  the  pur- 
pose of  attracting  notice  and  admiration,  than  from  the 
higher  view  of  acquiring  powers,  by  which  domestic  life 
may  be  gladdened  and  adorned.  Many  sensible  people 
consider  it  a  grievous  mistake  in  female  education,  that  the 
most  valuable  years  of  youth  are  spent  in  acquiring  and 
cultivating  arts  not  essential  to  the  fulfilment  of  the  chief 
duties  of  this  life ;  and  which  are  certainly  totally  useless 
in  what  regards  our  interests  in  a  future  state.  Yet,  when 
once  this  precious  time  has  been  given  to  them,  why, — 
when  they  may  be  employed  to  obtain  some  desirable  end. 
— when  they  may  attach  a  husband  to  his  home  and  family 
circle,  or  promote  the  innocent  amusement  of  young  peo- 
ple and  children,  why  abandon  them,  and  thus  render  of 
no  account  the  hours  and  the  years  which  hive  been 
devoted  to  their  acquirement  ? 

Accomplishments,  too,  may  be  of  considerable  value  to 
their  possessors,  independent  of  the  use  which  they  may 
serve  within  the  social  circle.  The  greater  part  of  a 
woman's  life  ought  to  be,  and  necessarily  must  be,  passed 
at  home  ;  the  more  sedentary  resources,  therefore,  she  po? 
sesses  by  which  her  time  may  be  innocently  and  cheerfully 
occupied,  the  less  will  she  suffer  from  any  occasional  pri- 
vations of  society  or  even  of  health.  Sometimes,  a  hus 
band  is  obliged  to  be  frequently,  and  for  long  periods, 
absent  from  home ;  sometimes,  there  are  no  children  to 
interest  the  feelings,  and  occupy  the  time  and  attention  of 
the  married  woman  ; — in  such  cases,  her  acquirements  and 
information  may  be  as  companions  to  her,  whiling  away 
the  hours  of  solitude,  which  would,  otherwise,  be  spent  iu 
listlessness,  indolence,  and  discontent. 


EXEECISE.  321 

I  remember  being  much  struck  by  hearing,  from  a  medi- 
cal man,  of  the  almost  daily  exclamation  of  a  lady  of  high 
rank,  "Oh!  that  I  could  sew!"— She  appeared  to  be 
surrounded  with  every  gift  of  fortune,  and  yet  was  a 
miserable  woman.  She  had  spent  the  earlier  part  of  her 
life  in  the  manner  usual  with  those  of  her  own  rank ;  but 
certainly  not  in  a  way  which  would  render  her  able  to 
lead  a  solitary  life  cheerfully.  At  the  time  she  was  in  the 
habit  of  expressing  this  humble  wish,  she  had  passed  the 
meridian  of  life,  and  although  not  actually  an  invalid,  yet 
she  was  not  strong  enough  to  mingle  in  the  gay  world. 
She,  therefore,  retired  to  her  country  seat,  to  live  in  com- 
parative privacy.  Thus,  by  necessity,  banished  from 
general  society,  she  was  completely  at  a  loss  for  amuse- 
ment suitable  to  her  state  and  present  situation.  She  was 
without  any  resource  to  kill  time.  In  reading  she  had 
never  delighted :  she  had  long  abandoned  every  accom- 
plishment, and  she  had  never  known  how  to  use  the  needle 
at  any  period  of  her  life  ;  so  that  from  the  time  of  the 
commencement  of  her  retirement  till  her  death,  she  dragged 
on  a  miserable  existence ;  wandering  with  a  dull,  vapid, 
and  discontented  spirit,  about  her  spacious  and  splendid 
apartments,  or  driving  through  the  park,  in  her  coroneted 
carriage,  a  daily,  monotonous  round. 

In  planning  out  the  occupation  of  your  time,  you  must 
rot  omit  to  devote  some  portion  of  it  to  brisk  and  active 
exercises.  As  labour  sweetens  rest,  so  should  exercise 
give  a  zest  to  your  sedentary  employments.  Indeed 
health  cannot  be  preserved  for  any  length  of  time  without 
it,  and  no  other  acquisition  can  compensate  for  the  loss  of 
health.  The  period  of  the  day  in  which  exercise  should 
be  taken,  depends  upon  the  time  of  the  year  and  the  state 
of  the  weather ;  and,  in  making  your  arrangements  for  the 
day,  these  must  regulate  the  hours  of  walking  and  of 
riding.  In  unsettled  weather,  the  first  favourable  moment 
that  occurs  should  not  be  neglected,  for  this  important 


322  VISITING. SEEHS'G  SIGHTS. — SHOPPING 

duty :  and  a  duty  it  is,  as  health  is  greatly  depended 
upon  it,  and  upon  health  is  dependent  the  discharge  ct 
every  other  obligation. 

Morning  visits  may  be  paid  between  the  hours  of  two 
and  five,  and  the  newly-married  woman  should  be  careful 
not  to  neglect  paying  these  as  soon  as  they  are  due.  To- 
wards a  new  acquaintance  it  is  considered  almost  as  a  slight 
to  defer  returning  her  visit  beyond  the  usual  time,  unless 
family  occurrences  absolutely  cause  the  delay. 

The  various  exhibitions  with  which  the  town  is  full  at 
some  seasons  of  the  year  may,  in  general,  be  viewed  more 
conveniently  during  the  afternoon  of  the  day  than  at  an 
earlier  period.  It  is  the  most  fashionable  time,  also,  for 
seeing  sights,  which,  with  the  young  and  the  gay,  is  au 
additional  reason  why  it  is  the  best  time  to  devote  to  that 
purpose. 

Yet  even  in  these  requisite  and  agreeable  occupations, 
the  woman  who  has  passed  her  morning  in  useful  needle- 
work, in  household  arrangements,  and  perhaps  in  studies 
which  would  not  disgrace  the  stronger  sex,  would  regret 
to  fritter  away  many  hours,  if  what  she  had  to  accomplish 
could  be  performed  in  one.  The  practice,  which  almost 
from  time  immemorial  has  chiefiy  characterized  the  female 
sex  as  frivolous  and  even  selfish,  is  that  of  entering  a  shop, 
more  for  the  purpose  of  looking  over  every  material  dis* 
played  there,  than  of  making  a  necessary  purchase.  To 
ask  for  a  variety  of  articles,  to  criticise,  abuse,  or  praise 
them,  and  then  to  quit  the  shop,  without  purchasing  any- 
thing, seem?  to  be  the  delight  of  many  women,  while  it 
is  considered  as  the  privilege  of  all.  Disgraceful  custom .' 
which  establishes  a  kind  of  right  to  treat  those  with  mean- 
ness  and  selfishness  who  dare  not  offend  us  :  which  hinges 
on  a  principle  of  impertinence,  the  slightest  shadow  of 
which  would  not  be  endured  by  our  equals :  and  which 
tempts  many  a  female  purchaser  into  extravagance. 


EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITHOUT  COMPANY.          323 

wearies  the  patience  of  the  tradesman,  and  excites  con- 
tempt and  disapprobation  almost  universal. 

Equally  reprehensible  is  the  practice  of  bargaining,  as 
it  is  a  means  of  corruption  to  the  shop-keeper.  I  make  it 
a  rule  never  to  employ  a  tradesman  who  will  take  a  second 
price :  a  man  who  does  so,  confesses  that  he  has  asked 
more  than  the  just  value  of  his  goods.  I  fancy,  too,  that 
a  bargain  seldom  answers  ;  it  is  far  from  being  economical 
to  buy  things  the  value  of  which  is  depreciated  ;  and  the 
remark  of  a  friend  of  mine  with  regard  to  cheap  goods, 
is  just :  "  I  cannot  afford,"  says  he,  "to  purchase  them." 

It  is  now  time  to  take  our  hour's  exercise  before  dinner : 
after  recommending  it  so  strongly  to  you,  I  must  not  myself 
iead  you  to  think  that  I  neglect  to  practise  what  I  have 
approved  in  theory. 


CONVERSATION  III. 

EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITHOUT  COMPANY,— CONVERSATION- 
WORK — AMUSEMENT. — AT  HOME,  WITH  COMPANY, — MUSIC 

— DANCING GAMES CARDS CHESS,  ETC. GENERAL 

CONDUCT  WHEN  VISITING. 

MRS.  L. — The  manner  in  which  I  have  seen  some  fami- 
lies pass  their  evenings  at  home,  when  they  are  not  en- 
gaged with  company,  has  often  appeared  to  me  to  be  dull, 
uninteresting,  and  frivolous.  I  have  beheld  the  father, 
mother,  and  children,  scarcely  keeping  up  a  languid  con- 
versation ;  one  lounging  in  an  easy  chair ;  another  turning 
over  listlessly,  the  leaves  of  a  magazine  ;  and  all  yawning 
responsively,  until  the  wished-for  hour  of  bed  arrived.  If 
these  people  were  to  be  seen  only  at  such  times,  they 


324  CONVERSATION. 

would  be  ranked  m  a  very  low  scale  of  existence,  appear- 
ing rather  to  vegetate  than  to  live.  But  see  them,  again, 
the  next  evening  in  company,  and  you  can  hardly  credit 
your  senses,  which  show  you  the  reverse  of  the  family 
picture  you  had  before  contemplated.  The  father  is,  now, 
all  intelligence  and  animation ;  the  mother  brilliant,  and 
the  daughters  all  smiles  and  good  humour.  Is  there  not 
something  wrong  in  the  habits  of  individuals  who  re- 
quire such  excitation  to  rouse  into  exertion  their  talents, 
social  qualities,  and,  apparently,  their  powers  of  enjoy- 
ment ? 

MRS.  B. — In  such  a  family  party  as  you  describe,  the 
taste  for  rational  pursuits  has  not  been  cultivated,  so  as 
to  act  as  a  counterbalance  to  the  love  of  pleasure  and 
variety,  which  is  natural  to  youth.  I  am  afraid  that  you 
will  think  I  cast  too  heavy  a  censure  on  the  wife  and 
mother,  when  I  accuse  her  of  being  the  original  cause  of 
this  defect  among  them.  All  the  pursuits  and  arrange- 
ments of  her  family,  within  the  house,  are  peculiarly  under 
her  jurisdiction :  here  she  should  direct  and  control,  always, 
however,  seeking  the  support  and  approbation  of  her  mea- 
sures from  her  husband,  or  yielding  to  his  judgment,  when 
he  sees  any  reason  to  object  rather  than  to  approve.  The 
case  is  very  rare  in  which  a  woman  does  not  possess  suffi- 
cient power  to  govern  her  family ;  but  not  so  rare  is  the 
abuse  or  the  neglect  of  that  power.  The  habits,  pursuits, 
and  inclinations  of  her  husband  are,  generally,  influenced 
by  hers ;  her  children  are  still  more  the  subjects  of  her 
government :  and,  according  as  she  regulates  them,  so,  in 
all  probability,  will  they  grow  up : — either  listless,  idle, 
self-indulgent,  and  indifferent  to  the  comforts  of  others :  or 
active  in  body,  energetic  in  mind,  and  seeking  pleasure  in 
mental  employment,  and  from  gratifying  others  rather  than 
themselves.  Where  the  latter  disposition  prevails,  you 
will  not  be  liable  to  encounter  dulness  in  a  family  circle  ; 
but  rather  gayety  and  animation,  springing  from  ease, 


EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITHOUT  COMPANY.  325 

freedom  of  thought,  confidence  in  one  another,  and  from  a 
common  interest  in  every  topic  of  conversation. 

The  duties  of  each  individual  of  which  a  family  is 
composed,  being,  during  the  earlier  part  of  the  day  duly 
performed,  the  evening  should  be  open  for  rest  or  amuse- 
ment. The  consciousness  of  not  having  neglected  any 
thing  important,  is  in  itself  a  pleasurable  feeling,  and 
gives  a  right  to  enjoy  the  amusement  or  repose  which 
the  close  of  the  day  may  bring  with  it.  Where  there  are 
young  people,  therefore,  growing  up,  who  form  a  part  of 
the  evening  circle,  it  is,  on  their  account,  very  desirable 
to  render  it  cheerful  and  agreeable  ;  varying  the  amuse- 
ments, and  promoting  conversation  chiefly  of  an  animated 
and  cheering  nature  ;  perhaps  mingling  with  it,  also,  sub- 
jects and  reflections  of  an  improving  kind,  whenever  they 
can  be  introduced  in  any  easy  and  unrepelling  manner. 
Home  should,  always,  be  the  seat  of  innocent  enjoyment 
to  the  young,  counterpoising  the  influence  over  their  morals 
which  the  pleasures  of  the  world  too  readily  obtain.  A 
home  presenting  examples  of  virtue,  and  at  the  same  time 
cherishing  the  happiness  and  promoting  the  comfort  of 
every  individual  within  its  sphere,  cannot  fail  to  have  a 
beneficial  effect  upon  the  unformed  character  of  youth. 
Not  only  while  under  its  immediate  influence,  but  even 
when  apparently  withdrawn  from  it,  will  its  traces  be  en- 
graved on  the  remembrance,  and  assist  towards  effacing 
less  harmless  and  pure  impressions  which  other  scenes 
may  make.  If  such  apparently  trivial  circumstances  affect 
the  welfare  of  a  family,  surely  a  mother  will  never  aban- 
don herself  to  any  pursuits  inconsistent  with  those  which 
have  so  important  an  object  in  view.  When  her  children 
are  assembled  around  her  for  social  intercourse,  she  will 
rouse  herself  to  encourage  and  support  lively  and  good- 
humoured  conversation,  or  to  promote  everj^Variety  of 
simple  amusement,  which  may  serve  as  relaxations  from 
study  or  business.  The  father,  too,  ought,  without  doubt, 
28 


32G  CONVERSATION 

to  give  his  share  of  aid  towards  the  general  happiness  of 
the  family  party;  to  banish  from  his  countenance  the 
anxious  lines  which  the  cares  of  the  day  may  have  traced 
upon  it,  and  to  enter  into  the  amusements  of  the  younger 
branches  of  his  family,  with  as  much  sympathy  as  the 
difference  of  years  between  them  and  himself  will  allow. 

MRS.  L. — Should  not  conversation  form  the  chief  amuse- 
ment of  the  family  evening  party  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly  it  should,  and,  therefore,  to  converse 
well,  is  an  art  of  much  value  to  women.  It  is  the  most 
certain  means  by  which  they  may  give  a  charm  to  social 
life  ;  and  by  which  they  may  banish  dulness,  the  moment 
in  which  it  attempts  to  intrude  itself.  No  other  talent  or 
amusement  has  an  equal  power  at  all  times :  music  may 
often  fail  to  withdraw  our  thoughts  from  unpleasant  re- 
membrances ;  and  the  theatre,  ball-room,  and  card-table, 
are  not,  always,  in  unison  with  the  state  of  our  feelings, 
which  at  times  renders  them  irksome  or  indifferent  to  us. 
But  it  is  not  thus  with  conversation :  which  is  scarcely 
ever  so  powerless  as  not  to  beguile  the  thoughts  from  even 
the  most  painful  recollections ;  or  to  release  them  from 
that  lethargic  state  in  which  they  are  sometimes  confined. 
No  one  can  prize  too  highly  the  privilege  we  possess,  in 
this  power  of  communicating  and  interchanging  our  ideas 
with  those  of  our  fellow-creatures.  Conversation  is,  at 
once,  the  medium  of  affection,  consolation,  amusement,  and 
instruction.  It  is  the  means  by  which  wisdom  may  obtain 
an  influence  over  weakness  and  folly ;  piety  over  irreligion 
and  immorality.  But  how  lamentable  it  is,  that  this  bless- 
ing should  ever  be  the  instrument  of  evil !  That  thus 
gifted  by  our  Creator,  we  should  ever  presume  to  speak 
of  him  with  irreverence  and  ingratitude,  or  to  tempt  the 
unstable,  by  the  language  of  levity  and  folly,  to  turn  from 
the  paths  of  wisdom !  Women,  in  particular,  upon  whom 
devolves  the  charge  of  rising  generations,  and  by  whom 
the  first  impressions  are  made  upon  the  human  mind ;  who 


EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITHOUT  COMPANY.          327 

have,  also,  generally  considerable  influence  within  their 
various  spheres,  should  be  cautious  not  to  utter  any  senti- 
ment, or  to  indulge  in  any  conversation,  inconsistent  with 
virtue  and  piety.  Not  even  the  insignificance  of  the  indi- 
vidual who  could  give  utterance  to  irreverent  sentiments, 
or  who  could  scoff  at  things  of  serious  import,  would  ren- 
der him  harmless  in  the  society  of  the  young,  whose  ab- 
horrence of  evil  would  be  diminished  by  familiarity  with 
its  language. 

MRS.  L. — You  would  not,  I  presume,  exclude  lively 
conversation,  or  banish  from  our  circles  those  persons  who 
have  wit  and  humour  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  would  be  unnatural  and  also  useless  to  de- 
sire such  an  exclusion ;  but  is  it  not  reasonable  and  essen- 
tial to  prohibit  improper  subjects  from  our  conversation? 
Is  there  not  range  sufficient  for  the  exercise  of  the  greatest 
wit,  or  for  the  display  of  the  liveliest  humour,  without 
touching  either  upon  hallowed  or  licentious  ground? 
Good  taste,  as  well  as  good  feeling,  if  permitted  to  mark 
out  the  boundary  of  conversation,  will  yet  leave  space 
enough  for  it  to  "  flow  like  waters  after  summer  showers." 

MRS.  L.— What  do  you  think  should  be  the  chief  cha- 
racteristics in  the  conversation  of  women  in  general 
society  ? 

MRS.  B. — To  converse  agreeably  requires,  in  the  first 
place,  a  cultivated  mind,  without  which  your  conversation 
would  be  insipid  to  others ;  and  you  would  have  no  in- 
terest and  zest  for  an  intercourse  with  sensible  and  well- 
informed  people.  Another  requisite  is  to  have  well- 
governed  feelings.  These  will  enable  you  to  preserve 
your  own  equanimity,  and  to  avoid  giving  disturbance  to 
that  of  others,  whose  opinions  and  prejudices  are  opposed 
to  yours,  or  whose  satire  and  ridicule  deal  hardly  with  you. 
Discrimination  should  also  be  included  in  the  list  of  re- 
quisites, in  order  that  we  may  discover  what  subjects,  ac- 
cording to  time  and  circumstances,  we  should  choose  or 


320  CONVERSATION. 

avoid,  and  also  the  proper  moment  either  to  talk  or  to  be 
silent.  A  monopolizer  of  conversation  is,  by  no  means,  an 
agreeable  appendage  to  a  party,  seldom  amusing  any  one 
but  herself:  and,  wrapped  up  in  self-satisfaction,  she  for- 
gets how  unjust  she  is  to  the  rest  of  the  party,  to  whom 
conversation  is  common  property,  which  each  individual 
has  a  right  to  share  whenever  she  chooses  to  claim  it. 

MRS.  L. — A  great  talker  appears  to  me  to  forget  that 
conversation  has  been  compared  to  a  game  at  ball,  at 
which  each  player  should  urge  the  ball  with  spirit  into  its 
right  direction,  but  never  suffer  it  to  rest  with  him  beyond 
its  proper  time,  or  to  fall  to  the  ground  when  any  dex- 
terity and  skill  on  his  part  can  keep  it  in  play. 

MRS.  B. — The  love  of  display  is  another  trait  very  un- 
favourable to  conversation,  the  chief  objects  of  which  are 
either  instruction  or  amusement ;  and  neither  of  these  can 
be  thoroughly  attained,  when  this  weakness  betrays  itself 
in  the  speaker.  When  amusement  is  the  object  in  view, 
it  can  only  be  promoted  by  a  general  sympathy  in  the 
topics  of  conversation  among  the  party,  and  this  will  not 
prevail,  if  the  love  of  display  govern  the  conversation  of 
any  one  present.  Women,  more  particularly  than  men, 
should  beware  of  encouraging  this  defect  in  themselves. 
It  tempts  them,  often,  into  subjects  beyond  their  depth, 
and  exposes  them  to  ridicule  much  more  frequently  than  it 
acquires  admiration. 

MRS.  L. — You  think,  then,  that  the  improved  state  of  a 
woman's  mind,  and  the  extent  of  her  acquirements,  ought 
rather  to  be  inferred  from  the  conversation,  than  forced  and 
obtruded  upon  the  observation  of  others  ? 

MRS.  B.— Certainly ;  and  I  also  think,  that  a  well-in- 
formed woman  cannot  be  mistaken  for  an  ignorant  person, 
although  she  may  never  be  betrayed  into  any  decided 
effort  to  display  her  knowledge  :  indeed,  by  being  exempt 
from  pedantry  and  self-sufficiency,  she  may  even  have 
credit  given  to  her  for  more  learning  than  she  really  pos- 


EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITHOUT  COMPANY.  329 

scsses,  and  thus,  innocently  and  unconsciously,  may  im- 
pose on  opinion.  This  the  bold  pretender  to  literary  fame 
is  for  ever  struggling  to  do,  but  in  vain. 

MRS.  L. — These  remarks  will,  1  think,  apply  as  well  to 
the  conversation  in  family  parties,  as  to  that  of  more  gene- 
ral society. 

MRS.  B. — There  are  sometimes  in  family  parties  other 
defects  than  those  which  I  have  already  mentioned,  and 
which  often  render  the  intercourse  less  agreeable  than  it 
might  be.  These  arise  from  the  freedom  enjoyed  at  home, 
which,  though  constituting  one  of  the  greatest  charms  of 
the  domestic  circle,  yet  may  be,  also,  the  bane  of  its  com- 
fort, if  not  properly  directed  and  regulated.  I  have  seen 
this  freedom  degenerate  into  rudeness,  petulance,  and  a 
total  disregard  to  the  feelings  of  others.  To  satirize, 
without  mercy,  the  failings  and  weaknesses  which  may 
prevail  in  a  family  circle,  is  also,  not  unfrequently,  the  chief 
amusement  of  some  of  its  members  Ridicule  is  a  weapon 
which,  in  domestic  life,  is  seldom  harmless,  either  to  the 
person  who  wields  it  or  to  the  individual  against  whom  it 
is  aimed.  In  the  former  it  causes  too  keen  a  perception 
of  the  failings  of  our  relatives,  and  in  the  latter  it  either 
occasions  too  great  a  dread  of  its  power,  or  too  great  a 
callousness  to  it,  according  to  the  disposition  of  the  at- 
tacked party.  In  all  such  cases,  parental  authority  should 
check  this  abuse  of  a  freedom,  which,  if  it  be  not  suffered 
to  run  riot,  is  one  of  the  most  attractive  privileges  of 
home.  I  remember  to  have  heard  the  father  of  a  large 
family  boast,  that  he  had  never  seen  any  quarrels  among 
his  children  ;  and  one  of  his  daughters  assured  me  of  the 
truth  of  this  assertion,  acknowledging,  at  the  same  time, 
that  a  similar  declaration  could  not  have  been  made  re- 
specting them  in  the  absence  of  their  father.  It  would, 
indeed,  have  been  an  anomaly  in  the  annals  of  domestic 
life,  had  all  been  tranquillity.  But  this  lady  also  assured 
me,  that  the  restraint  which  their  father's  presence  imposed 
28* 


330  NEEDLEWORK. READING  A1OUD,  ETC. 

upon  them  had,  on  the  whole,  a  beneficial  effect  on  their 
tempers  and  manners  ; — and  their  unvaried  gentleness  of 
manner  towards  each  other  was  generally  remarked  by 
their  acquaintance,  although  it  was  without  any  unnatural 
or  constrained  appearance.  She  also  believed,  that  incon- 
sequence of  the  unanimity  that  usually  prevailed  among 
them,  and  of  the  happiness  which  arose  from  it,  their  mu- 
tual affection  was,  in  after-life,  singularly  strong,  even  in 
those  members  of  the  family,  who,  by  marriage  or  other 
circumstances,  were  separated  from  the  rest. 

Needlework,  reading  aloud  some  amusing  publication, 
or,  occasionally,  playing  at  chess  and  backgammon,  may 
serve  to  give  a  pleasant  variety  to  the  evening's  occupa- 
tion of  the  different  members  of  the  family  circle.  Nothing- 
delights  the  female  part  of  a  family  so  much  as  reading 
aloud  some  volume  of  interest  by  one  of  the  party,  whilst 
the  others  are  employed  in  light  or  elegant  needlework. 
In  this  manner  a  knowledge  of  polite  literature  may  be 
acquired,  without  any  sacrifice  of  more  important  duties. 
Even  books  of  a  deeper  and  more  permanent  character, 
which  few  have  the  taste  or  the  inclination  to  persue  when 
alone,  are  often  listened  to  with  great  pleasure  and  much 
profit,  when  read  aloud  in  such  a  circle.  I  recollect, 
when  visiting,  at  an  early  period  of  my  life,  in  the  family 
of  Dr. ,  a  man  of  very  domestic  habits,  although  en- 
dowed with  splendid  talents  and  possessed  of  many  scien- 
tific acquirements,  hearing  the  Doctor  read  Milton's  Para- 
dise Lost,  after  tea,  every  evening,  until  the  whole  was 
completed.  I  had  often,  before,  attempted  to  peruse  this 
sublime  poem,  but  always  found  it  heavy  and  tedious. 
Under  the  circumstances,  however,  and  from  the  manner 
in  which  it  was  read  by  the  Doctor,  I  was  surprised  at 
finding  in  it  numberless  beauties  and  sublime  passages, 
which  had  previously  escaped  my  observation ;  and,  in- 
stead of  considering  it  tedious  or  irksome  to  listen  to  it, 
the  removal  of  the  tea  equipage,  the  stirring  the  fire,  and 


EVENING  AT  HOME,  WITH  COMPANY.  331 

the  hem,  which  were  the  signals  that  the  reader  was  about 
to  commence  his  agreeable  task,  awoke  in  me  anticipations 
of  the  purest  enjoyment.  I  shall  never  forget  the  smile  of 
pleasure,  which  invariably  played  on  the  lovely  counte- 
nances of  his  elegant  daughters  and  their  excellent  mother, 
as  they  severally  drew  their  chairs  towards  the  table,  and 
opening  their  workboxes,  settled  themselves  to  listen  to 
the  rich  strain  of  poetry,  which  was  enhanced  by  the 
clear,  well-modulated  tones,  with  which  it  was  read  by 
their  father.  No  visit  which  I  ever  made  afforded  me  so 
much  satisfaction  and  pleasure. 

Besides  the  information  and  gratification  which  listen- 
ing to  works  thus  read  aloud  afford  to  a  family  circle,  this 
custom  contributes,  materially,  to  a  never-failing  flow  of 
conversation,  and  sharpens  our  wit  by  the  opportunities  it 
offers  of  displaying  our  critical  acuteness,  both  in  pointing 
out  the  beauties  and  in  detecting  the  defects  of  the  work 
under  perusal.  It  is  a  species  of  winter-evening  employ- 
ment which  I  strongly  recommend  you  to  encourage.  And 
let  it  always  be  kept  in  mind,  that  idleness  is  fatal  to  good 
humour  and  cheerfulness ;  and,  therefore,  the  vigilant  wife 
and  mother  will  ward  off  the  demon  that  causes  such  evils 
to  spring  up,  by  every  little  art  and  inducement  to  engage 
the  attention  of  all  around  her :  unless,  indeed,  any  of  the 
party,  having  undergone  great  fatigue  of  mind  and  body 
during  the  day,  require  in  the  evening  complete  rest  for 
both. 

MRS.  L. — When  there  is  company  at  home,  reading  and 
working  must  give  place  to  amusements  of  more  general 
interest.  Here,  I  suppose,  you  will  tell  me,  musical  skill 
in  the  lady  of  the  house  may  be  agreeably  employed  iu 
giving  entertainment  to  her  guests,  or  in  inducing  others 
to  join  their  powers  to  hers.  Music  and  dancing  for  the 
younger,  and  chess  or  backgammon  for  the  elder  visiters, 
are  the  only  amusements  which  seem  to  unite  in  one  com- 
mon interest  a  whole  party. 


332  GENERAL  CONDUCT  WHEN  VISITING. 

MRS.  B. — Certainly ;  and  however  much  these  amuse- 
ments may  be  censured  by  Ihefew,  as  excluding  conversa- 
tion, they  are  undoubtedly  suitable  to  the  many,  who, 
without  them,  would,  in  the  midst  of  a  party,  be,  as  it 
were,  shut  up  in  themselves :  some  from  notions  of  eti- 
quette, and  others  from  pride  or  timidity.  But  by  throw 
ing  open  the  dancing-room,  and  preparing  for  amusements, 
these  symptoms  of  coldness  and  formality  vanish.  All 
are  at  once  free,  easy,  and  sociable,  mingling  one  with 
another  in  the  quadrille,  or  cheerfully  associating  them- 
selves at  different  games.  No  lady  who  wishes  to  see 
her  guests  smiling  and  pleased,  will  discard  these  amuse- 
ments from  her  evening  parties,  although  she  may  join  in 
censuring  the  state  of  society  which  requires  impressions 
on  the  senses  to  enliven  it,  and  which  would  languish 
under  the  influence  of  amusement  which  depended  wholly 
upon  mental  powers. 

MRS.  L. — To  observe  and  censure  the  manners  of  in- 
dividuals in  public,  is  the  favourite  amusement  of  some 
ladies ;  and  young  married  women  are,  especially,  con- 
sidered as  fair  subjects  for  the  study,  and  satiric  remarks 
of  these  keen-eyed  observers.  Can  any  magic  veil  be 
found  which  shall  protect  me  from  these  ? 

MRS.  B. — The  best  protection  I  can  suggest  is  to  act 
with  propriety  in  public  as  well  as  elsewhere,  which  will 
render  the  remarks  you  dread  undeserved.  Acquire,  also, 
the  capability  of  bearing  censure,  especially  if  unmerited, 
with  indifference,  or  at  least  with  as  little  disturbance  of 
mind  as  possible.  To  be  too  sensitive  of  blame  is  a  great 
weakness ;  and  it  is  yielding  up  our  comfort  to  the  mercy 
of  others.  Deserved  censure  is  more  difficult  to  endure 
than  that  which  is  unmerited ;  but  in  this  case  we  should 
receive  it  patiently,  and  as  an  infliction  which  we  have 
brought  upon  ourselves. 

Impropriety  of  manner  in  company,  though  it  does  not 
bespeak  a  very  correct  mind,  may  be  attendant  on  an 


GENEHAL  CONDUCT  WHEN  VISITING.  333 

innocent  one.  A  woman  may  have  too  much  levity  of 
manner ; — may  laugh  and  talk  too  loud  ; — give  herself 
many  fantastic  airs  ; — be  too  familiar  with  some  of  her  ac- 
quaintance, and  too  haughty  to  others ;  and  yet  she  may 
mean  nothing  wrong  to  any  one ;  and,  perhaps,  her  sole 
view  may  be  to  attract  momentary  notice,  or  to  endeavour 
to  render  herself  a  person  of  consequence  in  the  eyes  of 
others.  These  are  weak,  but  not  criminal  motives ;  and 
yet  they  render  her  liable  to  derision,  and  to  just  censure, 
even  from  the  lenient  in  judgment. 

A  venerable  authoress,  in  one  of  her  earliest  publications, 
says,  that  propriety  is  to  a  woman  what  it  has  been  said 
action  is  to  an  orator,  the  first,  and  second,  and  third  essen- 
tial :  that  propriety  is  the  centre  in  which  the  lines  of  duty 
and  amiability  meet :  and  is  to  the  character,  what  pro- 
portion is  to  the  figure,  and  grace  to  the  attitude.  Pro- 
priety, thus  characterized,  is  the  union  of  every  desirable 
quality  in  woman,  by  which  her  conduct  and  manners  are 
influenced  under  every  circumstance.  Propriety  never 
desires  a  deviation  from  any  of  the  laws  of  good  society, 
and  neither  seeks  notice  nor  admiration,  which,  from  their 
natures,  would  be  incompatible  with  its  own  characteris- 
tics. Improper  familiarities,  haughtiness,  intrusive  for- 
wardness to  superiors,  and  insolence  to  inferiors ;  the  in- 
dulgence of  any  whim,  by  which  our  conduct  to  others 
may  be  influenced,  are  all  equally  unknown  to  propriety. 

Unless  a  woman  desire  it,  she  seems  but  little  called 
upon  in  public  to  bring  herself  and  her  actions  into  a 
prominent  point  of  view,  or  to  render  herself  a  mark  for 
sarcasm  and  ridicule.  At  home,  when  entertaining  guests, 
she  cannot  pass  altogether  so  unobtrusively,  although  the 
manners  of  the  present  period  allow  of  more  ease  and 
latitude  of  deportment  than  formerly  was  deemed  correct 
in  a  lady  hostess,  whose  thoughts  and  time  were  condemned 
to  the  strictest  attention  to  the  comforts  and  pleasures  of 
her  visiters,  often  to  the  entire  destruction  of  both. 


334  GENERAL  CONDUCT  WHEN  VISITING. 

Ease  of  manner  in  a  woman  is  very  pleasing,  when  the 
self-possession  which  gives  it  is  unaccompanied  by  mascu- 
line courage,  or  by  an  undue  value  for  herself.  In  general, 
the  manners  will  be  free  from  any  painful  degree  of  con- 
straint, when  the  mind  is  not  engaged  upon  self,  or  occu- 
pied with  the  idea  of  exciting  attention  and  admiration 
from  those  around.  Affectation  has  its  origin  from  these 
sources ;  and  this,  besides  being  a  symptom  of  a  weak 
mind,  is  entirely  destructive  of  good  manners.  Good 
sense  and  simplicity  of  manners  are  generally  companions, 
forming  a  natural  gentility,  which  is  far  preferable  to  any 
artificial  politeness,  inasmuch  as  the  one  is  a  part  of  the 
individual  herself,  and  the  other  only  a  garb  worn  when 
occasion  calls  for  it.  However,  those  who  possess  this 
natural  gentility  may,  by  mixing  in  good  society,  have  the 
additional  polish  given  to  it,  which  afterwards  distinguishes 
it  as  the  perfection  of  good  manners. 

MRS.  L. — With  the  view  of  forming  the  manners  of 
young  people,  would  you  bring  them  early  into  society  ? 

MRS.  B. — Certainly  not  until  they  have  passed  the  age 
which  ought  to  be  chiefly  devoted  to  study,  and  to  the  ap- 
plication essential  to  the  acquisition  of  any  accomplish- 
ment either  mental  or  practical.  Instruction  will  avail 
little  if  the  thoughts  are  withdrawn  from  it  by  the  attrac- 
tions of  dissipation,  which  even  older  people  often  find 
incompatible  with  strict  attention  to  their  duties,  or  to 
serious  occupation  ;  the  effect  upon  the  young  and  lively 
must  be  still  greater,  in  rendering  application  irksome  to 
them,  and  in  diminishing  their  zeal  and  interest  in  the 
acquisition  of  knowledge. 

The  manners  of  young  people  will  be  insensibly  formed 
during  the  progress  of  their  education,  and  at  this  period 
of  life,  they  will  derive  more  advantage  from  the  example 
afforded  them,  in  the  correct  and  amiable  deportment  of 
those  among  whom  they  live,  than  could  be  obtained  from 
an  occasional  mixture  in  more  general  society.  To  home 


GENERAL  CONDUCT  WHEN  VISITING.  335 

they  should  be  indebted  for  the  first  impression  of  good 
manners;— to  the  world  for  the  finishing  touches  only. 
The  consequences  of  too  early  an  initiation  into  the  sup- 
posed delights  of  routs  and  balls  are,  often,  an  unfinished 
education,  and  from  late  hours,  ruined  health;  sufficient 
evils  to  render  parents  cautious  of  yielding,  when  urged 
by  the  solicitations  of  their  daughters,  to  introduce  them 
early  into  those  scenes  of  promised  delight.  Even  when 
the  proper  season  arrives  for  the  indulgence  of  these  natural 
wishes,  moderation  in  their  enjoyment  should  be  strictly 
observed.  This,  a  regard  for  health  requires,  and  it  is, 
also,  a  precaution,  by  which  the  zest  for  such  pleasures 
may  be  kept  alive.  Satiety  is  the  mortal  foe  to  enjoy- 
ment. 

On  the  score  of  appearances,  too,  it  is  by  no  means 
desirable  for  young  people  to  frequent  too  commonly  the 
haunts  of  pleasure.  It  might  lead  to  an  unfavourable  in- 
ference alike  as. to  the  inclination  and  power  of  a  young 
lady  to  discharge  the  obligations  of  a  wife  or  a  mother, 
and  thus  obscure  her  prospects  of  engaging  the  notice  and 
approbation  of  the  sensible  and  reflecting  part  of  the  other 
sex.  This  remark  must  be  perfectly  familiar  to  the  pru- 
dent and  wary  mother,  as  well  as  the  truism,  that  what  we 
behold  every  day  we  regard  with  indifference,  or  rarely 
notice.  Scarce  and  choice  plants  the  florist  covets,  and 
not  the  flowers  that  are  common  to  his  soil  and  country, 
and  of  which  he  may  easily  obtain  possession. 

1  do  not  think  that  even  the  manners  of  a  young  person 
are  improved  by  too  great  a  familiarity  with  the  world. 
It  gives  a  hardness  to  them,  marking  the  features  of  the 
face  with  symptoms  of  effrontery,  and  the  whole  person 
with  an  undaunted  air,  resulting  from  self-complacency. 
All  this  may  be  considered  by  some  as  fashionable  ease  of 
manner ;  but,  certainly,  the  tout  ensemble  is  far  from  inter- 
esting or  graceful. 

Not  only  appearances,  but  the  comfort  of  a  young  lady 


336  DANGER  AND  DISAPPOINTMENT. 

in  public,  depends  upon  her  having  an  unexceptionable 
escort  or  chaperon,  to  whom  she  may  have  recourse  upon 
any  dilemma,  and  whose  experience  and  greater  knowledge 
of  the  world  may  be  useful  to  her  in  assisting  her  out  of 
her  difficulties.  Her  mother  is,  of  course,  the  best  escort 
she  can  have  ;  but  if  circumstances  prevent  her  from  ac- 
companying her  daughter,  a  near  relation  or  an  intimate 
friend  should  supply  her  place.  A  young  woman  ven- 
turing into  publijc  without  a  proper  chaperon  is  a  thing 
scarcely  known  ;  and,  indeed,  without  such  a  sanction,  she 
would  be  shunned  by  the  circumspect  part  of  her  own 
sex,  and,  perhaps,  too  much  noticed  by  the  amusement- 
seekers  of  the  other. 

And  now,  good  morning :  to-morrow  we  will  renew  our 
conversation. 


CONVERSATION  IV. 

ON  THE  DANGER  AND  DISAPPOINTMENT  ATTENDING  A  MERE 
PURSUIT  OF  PLEASURE. — THE  OPPOSITE  EXTREME  TO  BE 
ALSO  AVOIDED. — THE  CLAIMS  OF  SOCIETY  MAY  BE  IN 
GENERAL  ATTENDED  TO  WITHOUT  INFRINGEMENT  OF 
HIGHER  DUTIES. 

MRS.  B. — There  are  two  extremes  of  conduct  often 
tJbservable  in  women,  either  of  which  the  wise  and  dis- 
creet among  us  will  desire  to  avoid :  the  one,  because  it 
is  marked  by  impropriety,  and  attended  with  danger  to 
the  character,  and  with  chagrin  and  disappointment  in  the 
hopes  of  enjoyment :  the  other,  because,  although  less 
hazardous,  it  has  effects  of  an  unamiable  tendency  on  the 
temper  and  disposition.  Although  any  one  who  pursues 


OF  A  ME11E  rUaSCIT  01-'  PLEASURE.  337 

the  latter  course  may  fancy  that  she  fulfils  her  duty  within 
her  house,  yet  she  falls  short  in  the  performance  of  that 
from  which,  as  a  member  of  society,  she  cannot  be  ex- 
empted. 

The  first  extreme  of  conduct  to  which  I  allude,  is  the 
immoderate  love  and  pursuit  of  pleasure,  or  rather,  of  those 
amusements  by  which  the  senses,  chiefly,  are  gratified. 
And  let  me  here  remark,  that  I  am  not  going,  with  ascetic 
strictness,  to  condemn  amusement  altogether ;  for,  without 
the  aid  of  the  philosopher,  we  may  easily  perceive  that 
what  has  been  benevolently  designed  by  our  Creator  to 
afford  us  gratification  we  may  innocently  enjoy,  provided 
we  keep  within  the  limits  of  moderation.  Thus,  when 
we  are  hungry,  to  eat  is  pleasant ;  but  if  we  do  more  than 
satisfy  the  appetite,  we  may  Jay  the  foundation  of  disease 
and  pain.  Exercise  is  a  gratification  to  the  vigorous  and 
healthy,  but  fatigue  and  weakness  follow  its  excess.  Excess 
produces  either  satiety  or  pain.  And  as  this  is  a  law 
annexed  to  every  pleasure,  the  true  Epicurean  will  ever 
bear  for  his  motto,  "  Enjoy  with  moderation."  The  fact 
that  pain  and  sorrow  result  from  our  abuse  of  blessings, 
conveys  to  us  a  command  which  we  ought  implicitly  to 
obey. 

MRS.  L.— It  is  strange,  that  rational  beings,  who  hare 
all  the  same  object  to  attain  (I  mean  happfnessj,  should 
pursue  such  various  paths  to  it.  Some  must  inevitably  be 
wrong.  It  appears  to  me  that  all  are  in  an  error  who  seek 
present  enjoyment  instead  of  future  good. 

MRS.  B.— 1  should  rather  say,  that  our  present  enjoy- 
ment depends  upon  the  rational  pursuit  of  good  :  and  that 
we  are  called  upon  to  sacrifice  no  present  inclinations  or 
wishes  except  those  which  are  opposed  to  our  future  wel- 
fare. So  it  is  with  the  innocent  pleasures  of  life  :  we  are 
not  required  to  deny  ourselves  the  moderate  indulgence  in 
them,  because  that  indulgence  need  not  prevent  the  fulfil- 
ment of  our  duties,  injure  our  healths,  or  tempt  us  to  an 
29 


338  DANGER  AND  DISAPPOINTMENT 

extravagant  expenditure  of  income.  On  the  contrary,  ft 
will  often  give  a  rest  to  the  mind,  and  prepare  it  to  resume 
with  renewed  diligence  every  important  avocation.  Varied 
scenes  and  amusements,  too,  are  sometimes  beneficial  to 
the  invalid,  checking  his  inclination  to  dwell  on  trifling 
symptoms,  and  promoting  cheerfulness,  the  friend  and 
companion  of  health. 

Who  can  call  it  a  crime  to  enjoy,  even  to  rapture,  the 
music  which  our  groves  and  fields  provide  for  us  ?  Who 
can  discover  a  reason  why  we  should  not  relish  the  per- 
fume of  the  rose,  or  delight  in  the  varied  and  lovely  scenes 
of  nature  ?  These  pleasures  are  provided  for  us,  unsought 
for ;  and  when  for  a  season  they  are  withdrawn  from  us, 
or  their  attractions  are  diminished,  who  can  deny  the  effect  ? 
Does  not  their  restoration  renew  our  pleasures,  and  enhance 
their  charms  ? 

If  such  beneficent  provision  for  our  gratification  has 
been  made  in  the  natural  world,  may  we  not  infer,  that 
an  equal  share  has  been  designed  for  us  in  the  moral  world  ? 
And  in  opposition  to  the  monkish  austerity  of  past  ages, 
or  to  the  religious  zeal  of  the  present,  may  we  not  claim 
a  right  to  participate  in  every  social  amusement  that 
involves  no  breach  of  duty,  tends  to  corrupt  no  right  prin- 
ciple, or  to  injure,  in  any  way,  either  ourselves  or  others  ? 
When  our  social  pleasures  and  amusements  are  thus  regu- 
lated and  governed,  1  think  we  may  believe,  and  act  upon 
this  belief,  that  "  To  enjoy  is  to  obey." 

Let  us  now  inquire  what  are  the  general  effects  of  a  mere 
life  of  pleasure,  when  pursued  by  a  wife  or  a  mother, 
unrestrained  by  a  sufficient  regard  to  her  duties. 

The  keenest  votaries  of  dissipation  are  often  those  whose 
minds,  when  they  first  commenced  their  career,  were 
framed  for  true  enjoyment ;  but,  unluckily,  mistaking 
the  road  to  it,  they  have  pursued  that  which  led  to 
spurious  pleasures  only,  and  which  their  haggard  bodies 
and  worn-out  spirits  too  plainly  evince.  In  a  very  few 


OF  A  MERE  PURSUIT  OF  PLEASURE.  339 

ytars,  they  are  often  beheld  as  the  wrecks  of  what  they 
were,  both  in  mind  and  person.  The  finest  and  most 
highly  polished' steel  more  easily  corrodes  than  a  baser 
metal ;  and  if  the  rust  remain  unheeded,  it  eats  deeply  in 
and  spoils  the  whole.  Of  this  there  have  been  in  fashion- 
able life  many  notorious  exemplifications.  Women  of  the 
highest  attainments  and  of  the  finest  dispositions  have  be- 
come contemptible  and  miserable  ;  the  latter  end  of  their 
lives  pitiable,  and  their  death-beds  awful  warnings  to  un- 
reflecting survivors,  from  having  put  no  restraint  over  their 
inclinations  for  amusement,  until  it  has  become  inordinate 
and  uncontrollable. 

In  arriving  at  this  state  of  degradation,  they  have  aban- 
doned without  a  moment's  thought,  every  duty  to  which 
by  their  situation  in  society  they  were  destined.  To  the 
welfare  of  their  husbands  and  children  they  have  shown  a 
total  indifference,  and  have  selfishly  squandered  away 
wealth,  even  to  ruin.  Had  we  had  the  means  of  follow- 
ing any  of  these  instances  through  their  whole  course,  in 
private  as  well  as  in  public,  of  penetrating  into  their 
thoughts,  and  examining  the  varied  feelings  of  their  hearts, 
we  should,  I  am  persuaded,  have  been  struck  with  amaze- 
ment, at  discovering  how  small  a  portion  of  enjoyment  they 
had  realized.  While  pursuing  some  supposed  delight,  we 
should  have  found  them  in  a  feverish  state  of  excitation, 
brooking  with  ill  humour  any  opposition  to  their  views 
which  they  might  encounter,  and  cherishing  any  unamiable 
or  unlawful  feelings  to  which  an  unworthy  pursuit  would 
give  rise.  And  when  this  fever  within  them  had  subsided, 
we  should  have  been  sensible  of  the  havoc  it  had  caused 
by  the  discontented  countenance,  the  joyless  and  languid 
air,  the  dispirited  mind  and  fretful  behaviour.  Compare 
this  state  of  feeling  with  that  which  accompanies  and  re- 
wards the  accomplishment  of  any  virtuous  and  benevolent 
scheme,  or  which  attends  the  sacrifice  of  inclination  to 
duty :  what  enviable  sensations  beam  in  the  face,  and  what 


340  DAGGER  AND  DISAPPOINTMENT 

cheerfulness  in  the  manner!  The  comparison  must 
you  to  acknowledge,  that  the  path  of  dissipation  is  also 
that  of  folly,  and  one  which  will  not  conduct  to  happiness. 
We  will  suppose  a  woman  circumstanced  as  yourself, 
commencing,  but  more  thoughtlessly,  her  new  career,  and, 
probably,  regarding  her  marriage  as  an  epoch  from  which 
to  date  her  emancipation  from  the  restraints  which  parental 
authority  may,  perhaps,  have  seen  fit  to  impose,  or  which 
the  rules  of  society  prescribe  for  the  government  of  woman's 
single  state.  If  such  are  her  feelings,  she  will  reject  the 
idea  that  she  has  at  the  altar  imposed" on  herself  new 
obligations  ;  and,  without  regard  to  her  husband's  circum- 
stances or  prospects,  it  is  probable  she  will  follow  the 
bent  of  her  inclinations,  instead  of  the  dictates  of  duty  and 
principle.  If,  unfortunately,  she  is  yoked  to  as  unreflecting 
a  mortal  as  herself,  or  to  one  who  pursues  his  own  plans 
of  amusement  unconnected  with  hers,  there  is  then  but 
little  chance  of  her  turning  away  from  the  alluring  but 
deceitful  paths  of  dissipation,  before  every  other  course 
has  lost  its  power  to  attract  her.  To  vary  her  pleasures 
and  her  dress  will  be  the  business  of  her  life  ;  and  as  these 
are  not  inclinations  which  can  be  indulged  without  consi- 
derable expense,  it  is  probable  that  she  soon  finds  herself 
in  pecuniary  difficulties,  from  which  her  husband  may  not 
have  the  power,  or,  as  in  some  instances,  not  the  inclination, 
to  relieve  her.  Supposing  this  to  be  the  case,  the  first 
moment  of  her  difficulties  you  rnay  mark  as  the  commence- 
ment of  that  state  of  degradation  which  ends  in  a  total  cor- 
ruption of  the  heart.  Every  thought  that  might  rouse  re- 
flection, and  lead  to  strengthen  the  principle  of  right  im- 
planted within  her  breast,  is  banished,  and  she  is  reduced 
to  base  expedients  to  avert  the  inconveniences  which  folly 
has  occasioned  her.  Disingenuousness  towards  her  hus- 
band is  the  first  consequence,  and  this  practice  must  be 
painful  indeed  to  a  mind  hitherto  upright.  Meanness  and 
faithlessness  mark  her  conduct  to  those  with  whom  she  is 


OF  A  MERE  PURSUIT  OP  PLEASURE.  341 

involved  in  pecuniary  debts,  while  a  selfish  indulgence 
of  all  her  extravagant  propensities  grows  each  day  in 
strength,  and  urges  her  on  to  still  greater  improprieties, 
until  it  end  in  the  overthrow  of  every  virtuous  principle 
within  her. 

The  state  of  her  mind  at  this  juncture,  could  it  be  pic- 
tured, would  be  a  mournful  illustration  of  her  degradation, 
and  of  the  chagrin  and  disappointment  to  which  she  is 
a  prey.  The  generous  and  disinterested  affections  of 
her  heart  have  been  gradually  supplanted  by  malignant 
dispositions  and  selfishness.  She  is  perpetually  gnawed 
by  envy  at  the  supposed  happiness,  the  greater  personal 
attractions,  or  the  superior  estimation  in  society  of  others  ; 
while  remorse  reminds  her  ever,  that  she  is,  herself,  the 
author  of  every  trouble  of  which  she  complains  ;  and  that, 
once,  she  had  within  her  power  the  choice  of  good  or  evil, 
and  that  she,  then,  suffered  folly  to  hold  the  scales,  and  to 
determine  her  election. 

Although  incapable  of  feeling  now  for  others,  she  is 
keenly  alive  to  what  affects  herself.  She  repines  at  the 
neglect  and  indifference  she  experiences  from  her  husband, 
and  at  the  want  of  affection  towards  her  in  her  children, 
yet  acknowledging  she  has  sacrificed  nothing  for  them  ; 
that  to  her  they  are  indebted  for  no  care  in  infancy,  nor 
for  instruction  or  example  in  their  riper  years.  Now  they 
are  in  their  turn  deficient  in  duty,  and  though  their  con- 
duct may  fill  her  with  anguish,  she  can  scarcely  claim  a 
right  to  complain.  Perhaps  her  health  is  undermined  ; 
late  hours,  with  spirits  constantly  over-excited,  having  as- 
sisted to  exhaust  her  frame.  Her  existence  may  not  be 
long  protracted,  and  she  will  pass  from  this  stage  to 
another  unlamented ;  and  having  left  behind  her  no  memo- 
rial of  good,  the  remembrance  of  all  relating  personally 
to  her  will  fade  away,  long  before  her  remains  are  moul- 
dered and  mingled  with  the  dust.  Suppose  her  to  be  per- 
mitted to  enter  the  vale  of  years;  long  life  would  be  to 
29* 


342  DANGER  AND  DISAPPOINTMENT 

her  only  a  prolongation  of  misery.  Old  age  brings  cvflf 
to  the  good  as  well  as  to  the  bad  ;  but  the  former  finds  an 
antidote  in  the  reminiscence  of  a  well  spent  life,  and  in 
the  cheering  hopes  and  prospects  of  futurity.  But  the 
latter  can  draw  no  such  solace.  Moral  evils  she  has  her- 
self added  to  those  to  which,  as  flesh,  she  is  heir ;  and, 
therefore,  her  continuance  in  life  must  be  joyless  and  un- 
desirable. If  she  look  back,  she  beholds  almost  a  deso- 
late waste ;  few  virtuous  resolutions  made,  and  still  fewer 
virtuous  actions  performed  ;  if  she  look  forward,  her  view- 
is  gloomy,  and  portentous* 
Those  who  remember  the  history  of  the  celebrated 

Duchess  of ,  will  remark,  in  it,  an  illustration  of  the 

picture  I  have  attempted  to  draw.  Married  early  in  life, 
and  to  a  man  to  whom  ambition,  not  affection,  united  her, 
that  distinguished  comet  in  the  sphere  of  fashion  ran  a  course 
marked  by  notoriety,  and  by  the  luxuriance  of  pleasure, 
!>ut  not  of  happiness.  She  set  out,  in  her  career,  with  a 
resolution  to  be  the  first  object  of  attention  in  the  gay 
world,  and  distinction  was  her  being's  end,  object,  aim. 
Nor  would  this  have  been  reprehensible,  had  the  eminence 
to  which  she  aspired  been  attainable  only  by  virtuous  ac- 
tions, or  by  the  exercise  of  intellectual  endowments  ;  un- 
happily the  prize  she  coveted  was  open  to  the  frivolous, 
the  dissipated,  and  the  vain.  If  we  may  judge  of  the 
importance  of  a  race,  by  the  competitors  who  engage  in 
it,  what  shall  we  say  of  the  candidate  for  fashionable  ce- 
lebrity, which  is  the  most  readily  gained  by  the  most 
ridiculous  and  contemptible  of  mankind  ?  The  lady  to 
whom  I  allude  could  not  be  ranked  among  either  of  these 
classes,  if  her  mental  powers  be  considered  :  Providence 
had  blessed  her  wfth  strong  sense,  and  with  a  quick  and 
acute  perception ;  and  education  had  improved  these  ad- 
vantages into  all  that  could  delight  in  society,  and  give 
variety  to  retirement.  But  pursuing  every  species  of  ex- 
o-itement  (falsely  called  pleasure)  with  an  avidity  that  left 


OF  A  MERE  PURSUIT  OF  PLEASURE.  343 

no  time  for  continued  improvement,  after  she  became  her 
own  mfstress,  the  wit  of  this  ill-judging  woman  was  sullied 
by  effrontery  and  coarseness,  her  imagination  perverted  by 
eccentricity,  and  her  judgment  impaired  by  want  of  exer- 
tion, and  warped  by  passion.  As  in  her  calculations  of  the 
happiness  a  ducal  coronet  might  impart,  she  had  not  in- 
cluded the  comforts  of  domestic  life,  she  paid  so  little 
attention  to  the  disposition  and  happiness  of  her  husband, 
that  although  they  ought  to  have  been  united  by  those  ties 
which  a  numerous  offspring  usually  occasion,  they  were 
estranged  and  lived  separate  ;  she,  continuing  her  progress 
to  the  heights  of  fashionable  honours,  and  he,  sinking 
from  his  station,  his  duties  to  society  and  to  himself,  into 
all  the  degradation  of  low  profligacy,  and  of  debased  and 
debasing  company. 

We  cannot  suppose  that  a  being,  endowed  with  the  ca- 
pability of  reflection,  could  long  lead  such  a  course  as  that 

of  the  Duchess  of ,  without  experimentally  finding 

its  actual  insipidity,  nay,  wretchedness.  That  she  did 
even  acknowledge  her  touviction  of  this,  has  been  as- 
serted by  her  acquaintance  ;  and  long  after  she  had  ceased 
to  enjoy  the  species  of  disreputable  fame  which  her  follies 
and  excesses  had  procured  her  in  the  gay  world,  she  re- 
mained in  rt,  perhaps  from  not  knowing  what  alternative 
to  choose,  perhaps  from  habit,  or  more  probably  from  the 
desire  of  gratifying  a  favourite  project,  that  of  marrying 
her  daughters  in  a  station  as  elevated  as  her  own.  Nor 
was  it  till  this  darling  object  was  secured,  and  till  no  other 
stimulus  remained  to  her,  that  she  saw  the  worthlessness 
of  all  that  she  had  attained,  and  the  value  of  all  that  she 
had  rejected.  In  the  close  of  life,  she  acknowledged  with 
penitence  her  misapplication  of  talents,  her  worse  than 
profusion,  her  abuse  of  the  gifts  of  fortune,  her  neglect  of 
all  important  duties,  her  eagerness  in  following  vain,  and 
even  criminal  enjoyments  ;  and  to  a  clergyman  to  whom. 
CD  her  deathbed,  she  imparted  those  feelings,  which  were 


344  ITS  OPPOSITE  EXTREME  TO  BE  AVOIDED. 

soon  to  be  reviewed  before  a  far  more  awful  tribunal,  she 
confessed  her  errors  and  her  disappointments  ;  and  acknow 
ledged  that  one  conviction,  from  the  experience  of  a  long 
life,  alone  remained  impressed  upon  her  mind,— that  all 
the  enjoyments  that  the  most  complete  state  of  luxury 
and  of  dissipation  can  impart  are  totally  incapable,  of 
affording  one  hour's  solid  gratification  ;  and  that  upon  re- 
view they  are,  compared  with  neglected  duties,  as  the 
stings  of  a  serpent,  which  are  not  the  less  replete  with 
venom  although  the  danger  be  concealed  amidst  a  bed  of 
flowers. 

We  will  turn  from  this  lamentable  picture,  to  inquire 
whether  the  opposite  extreme  of  conduct  ought  not,  also, 
to  be  avoided,  by  which  1  mean  the  abandonment  of  a 
woman  to  household  concerns,  and  to  the  over-solicitous 
care  of  her  children,  involving  her  in  an  entire  neglect  of 
the  duties  connected  with  social  life  and  good  neigh- 
bourhood. 

MRS.  L. — Does  not  the  situation  of  many  ladies  require 
this  devotion  of  themselves  ?  Some  are  in  narrow  circum- 
stances, and  not  able  to  provide  sufficient  assistance  either 
for  their  household  work,  or  in  their  nurseries  ;  and  have 
apparently  no  alternative  but  to  neglect  thoir  children,  or 
to  give  up  their  own  time  and  thoughts  to  them.  Others, 
from  delicate  health,  are  unable  both  to  discharge  their 
duty  to  their  families,  and  to  attend  to  the  calls  of  society. 

MRS.  B. — Of  course  general  observations  are  not  always 
applicable  to  particular  cases,  and  often  what  is  incum- 
bent on  one  individual  would  be  wrong  or  needless  in 
another. 

I  have  in  my  recollection  an  instance  which  may,  per- 
haps, exemplify  the  error  in  conduct  of  which  I  am 
speaking. 

Mrs.  C ,  in  whose  neighbourhood  I  lived   in  my 

youth,  considered  herself  as  a  pattern  of  wives  and  mo- 
thers, making  it  her  boast  that  she  combined  the  good 


ITS  OPPOSITE  EXTKEME  TO  BE  AVOIDED.  345 

housewifery  of  former  times  to  the  maternal  care  and  at- 
tention for1  which  the  present  age  of  mothers  is  remarkable. 
Her  husband  was  a  man  of  property;  but,  if  rendering 
him  happy  in  his  home,  and  respectable  in  the  eyes  of  his 
neighbours  (as  far  as  depends  on  a  wife),  should  form 
some  part  of  a  good  wife's  care,  she,  certainly,  did  not 
sustain  the  character.  Considering  the  extent  of  her  hus- 
band's property,  her  economy  approached  to  meanness. 
Her  table  was  always  so  scantily  provided,  and  such  strict 
limitation  of  every  article  throughout  her  establishment 
was  enforced,  that  poverty  seemed  an  inmate,  while  com- 
fort was  banished  from  her  house.  For  the  glory  of  being 
accounted  a  thrifty  manager,  she  submitted,  and  obliged 
others  to  submit,  to  many  privations ;  and,  often,  she  was 
obliged  to  share  the  labours  of  her  household,  which  she 
preferred  to  the  expense  of  keeping  a  proper  compliment 
of  servants.  At  no  period  of  the  day,  which  was  shared 
between  household  and  nursery  cares,  could  her  husband 
promise  himself  her  "society,  and,  in  the  evenings,  he  gene- 
rally found  her  wearied  and  fretted  by  the  petty  concerns 
of  her  life.  For  visiting  or  receiving  company  she  con- 
stantly declared  she  had  no  time  ;  and,  indeed,  she  at 
length  acquired  a  disrelish  for  any  society  which  was  not 
comprised  within  her  narrow  scene  of  action. 

A  life  of  retirement  soon  renders  us  unfit  and  unwilling 
to  mingle  in  general  society.  The  exertion  both  of  niirid 
and  body  in  which  company  engages  us,  we  seldom  think 
compensated  by  the  degree  of  pleasure  we  receive  from 
it,  when,  from  seclusion,  we  have  lost  our  relish  tor  topics 
of  general  interest.  Our  thoughts  and  feelings  are  too 
much  wrapped  up  in  our  own  concerns,  and  we  become 
devoid  of  that  sympathy  in  the  tastes,  feelings,  and  con- 
cerns of  others,  which  gives  the  chief  interest  to  our  in- 
tercourse with  our  fellow-creatures.  Natural  obstacles,  a 
sea  flowing,  or  mountains  intervening  between  friends,  are 
not  more  effectual  barriers  to  the  interchange  of  ideas  and 


346  DUTIES  OF  SOCIAL  LIFE 

feelings,  than  the  want  of  sympathy  and  common  intert>2 
in  each  other's  welfare. 

The  unenvied  husband  of.  this  good  wife  sought  amuse- 
ment any  where  but  at  home.  He  spent  much  of  his 
time  either  in  field  sports,  or  in  the  more  dangerous  plea- 
sures of  the  turf  and  the  gaming-table.  His  wife's  con- 
fined view  of  her  duties  prevented  her  from  anticipating 
this  effect  of  her  management ;  nor,  indeed,  did  she  ever 
imagine  herself  as  in  any  way  the  author  of  her  husbandV 
failings.  Her  children,  also,  both  mentally  and  physically, 
were  sufferers.  Her  imagination,  not  allowed  to  range 
beyond  her  domestic  circle,  fed  itself  upon  the  supposed 
diseases  of  her  children,  which,  I  believe  I  may  justly 
assert,  were  more  often  engendered  in  their  constitutions, 
than  averted,  by  the  measures  and  precautions  which  her 
over-solicitude  prompted.  Their  tempers  were  injured 
by  injudicious  indulgence  at  one  time,  and  by  the  fretful- 
ness  which  her  cares  induced,  and  which  she  could  not 
always  restrain,  even  towards  the  objects  of  those  cares. 
Her  servants,  too,  were  not  among  the  happiest  of  her 
family ;  her  principle  in  regard  to  them  being,  that  they 
ought  to  belong  to  a  "  much-enduring  race,"  to  work  hard 
and  fare  hard. 

What  effect  this  lady's  character  might  have  had  upon 
her  offspring  cannot  now  be  known,  as  consumption  rapidly 
terminated  her  life.  It  was  the  opinion  of  her  physician 
that  this  disease  had  met  with  encouragement  from  tho 
restless  anxiety  of  her  mind,  and  the  frequent  over-exertion 
of  her  strength.  Her  death  occasioned  but  little  feeling  in 
her  neighbourhood :  few  tears  were  shed,  few  regrets  ex- 
pressed, for  one  who  had  made  no  attempts  to  attach  others 
to  her,  or  to  perform  any  of  the  kindly  offices  of  good  neigh- 
bourhood. Her  equals  lost  no  friend  when  she  expired  : 
the  poor  no  benefactress. 

There  are  many  ladies  who,  though  they  do  not  carry 
their  conduct  to  the  extreme  which  I  have  just  described. 


NOT  TO  BE  NEGLECTED.  347 

yet,  in  a  degree,  err  in  a  similar  manner,  and  suffer  their 
minds  to  be  too  much  engrossed  with  similar  cares.  They 
build  a  wall  around  them,  and  confine  within  it  their  ideas, 
prospects,  hopes,  and  expectations,  and  can  imagine  no 
happiness  nor  good  to  spring  beyond  it. 

I  hope  I  have  exposed  with  sufficient  force,  the  danger 
and  inconveniences  which  arise  from  either  of  the  extremes 
in  conduct,  which  I  have  attempted  to  describe.  Instances 
still  more  lamentable  might  have  been  adduced,  but  as  I 
trust  they  have  generally  been  peculiar  cases,  connected 
with  a  strange  perversity  of  disposition,  their  examples 
need  not  be  instanced  to  those  in  whom  no  such  depravity 
exists.  If  I  have  prepossessed  you  in  favour  of  a  middle 
course,  I  shall  be  contented.  Society  has  various  claims 
upon  us,  and  these  may  in  most  cases  be  satisfied  without 
any  omission  or  neglect  of  higher  demands  upon  our  time 
and  attention.  To  economise  time,  to  avoid  frittering 
away  any  great  portion  of  it  on  trifles,  or  with  listless  in- 
difference to  suffer  it  to  pass  away  unemployed ;  to  per- 
form strictly  the  duties  of  each  day,  so  that  no  occasional 
pressure  of  employment  may  hurry  you  into  a  hasty  and 
careless  method  of  proceeding ; — these  will  be  the  best 
means  of  insuring  you  time  for  the  demands  which  may  be 
made  upon  you  by  society  in  general. 

I  have  already  instanced  our  mutual  friend  Maria,  as  an 
example  worthy  of  imitation  in  the  disposition  of  her  time, 
both  in  the  performance  of  her  duties,  and  in  the  continued 
cultivation  of  her  talents.  Nor  is  her  character  incom- 
plete in  regard  to  the  minor  circumstances  which  attend 
her  situation  in  society.  From  the  profession  of  her  hus- 
band, it  is,  perhaps,  more  important  in  her  case  than  it 
would  be  in  that  of  another,  to  maintain  a  larger  circle  of 
acquaintance,  and  in  this  she  displays  the  same  judgment 
as  in  other  points  of  conduct.  She  does  neither  more  nor 
less  than  what  is  necessary:  she  is  not  for  ever  to  be  seen 
in  parties  or  in  public  ;  but  she  never  absents  herself  from 


348  SOCIAL  DUTIES  NOT  TO  BE  NEGLECTEP. 

them  until  she  is  forgotten.  The  parties  at  her  own  house, 
though  not  frequent,  answer  the  end  in  view.  With  a 
select  circle  of  friends,  she  maintains  a  more  constant  in- 
tercourse, and  to  be  included  in  this  circle  is  at  once  a 
pleasure  and  a  privilege.  No  member  of  it  has  ever  re 
quired  an  act  of  friendship  from  her,  which  she  has  not 
cheerfully  performed.  In  their  time  of  sickness  and  dis- 
tress she  has  been  ever  ready  to  comfort  or  to  aid  them. 
In  most  of  the  charitable  institutions  the  time  bestowed 
by  an  individual  is,  often,  as  essential  in  promoting  the  good 
for  which  they  are  established  as  pecuniary  donations : 
disinterested  personal  exertions  may  be  called  the  soul  oi 
public  charities,  by  superintending  the  formation  of  judi- 
cious regulations  for  their  government,  and  by  seeing  such 
regulations  enforced  and  maintained.  Under  peculiar 
circumstances  only,  or  from  ill  health,  should  any  woman 
grudge  some  personal  inconvenience,  and  a  sacrifice  of 
some  portion  of  her  time,  to  ensure  the  good  which  these 
establishments  are  designed  to  provide  for  the  various  un- 
fortunate members  of  our  community.  Age,  indeed,  and 
very  narrow  circumstances,  may  require  exemption  from 
these  personal  exertions ;  but  in  youth,  in  health,  and  in 
the  day  of  prosperity,  may  active  and  judicious  benevo- 
lence ever  be  among  the  most  distinguished  characteristics 
of  English  women !  Notwithstanding  the  censures  which 
the  political  economist  may  cast  upon  them,  they  will  have 
a  recompense  within  their  own  breasts,  far  exceeding  mere 
public  approbation. 


PART  IV. 

MORAL  AND  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 


CONVERSATION  I. 

PRINCIPLES  OP  CONDUCT. — THEIR  IMPORTANCE  AND  IN- 
FLUENCE IN  THE  DOMESTIC  CIRCLE. — SINCERITY. — MA- 
IS'CEUVRING,  PRIDE,  AND  VANITY. — PROPRIETY  IN  CON- 
DUCT.—THE  FEMALE  CHARACTER  IS  IRREPARABLY  IN- 
JURED, WHEN  SUSPICION  HAS  BEEN  ONCE  ATTACHED  TO 
IT. — RESIGNATION. — FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES. 
— WIDOWHOOD. — OLD  AGE. — MAKING  A  WILL 

MRS.  B. — The  propriety  of  pursuing  the  great  princi- 
ples of  religious  and  moral  duty  is  obvious  to  all  percep- 
tions, whether  we  regard,  with  limited  view  our  welfare 
in  this  world,  or  embrace  that  which  extends  itself  to 
eternity.  Virtuous  principles  are  laws  for  our  moral 
government,  and  when  fixed  on  the  basis  of  virtuous 
habits,  are  scarcely  to  be  broken.  They  are  the  reins  by 
which  our  passions  may  be  controlled  ;  supplied  with  such 
restraints,  we  prove  ourselves  superior  to  those  tempta- 
tions, by  which,  in  the  journey  of  life,  we  are  assailed  : 
without  them,  we  should  excel  in  no  virtue  ;  but  these 
being  once  established  in  our  hearts  and  minds,  we  feel 
almost  independent  of  extrinsic  advantages  ;  our  conduct 
is  uniformly  influenced  by  them,  and  we  walk  through  life 
30 


350  PRINCIPLES  OP  CONDUCT. 

with  dignity,  even  if  below  mediocrity  in  talents,  rank. 
and  fortune.  They  entitle  us  to  an  esteem  and  homage 
from  our  fellow-creatures,  far  superior  in  kind  to  that  which 
these  gifts  alone  could  procure  us. 

A  mind,  even  if  it  be  not  naturally  vigorous,  may  re 
ceive  from  the  aid  of  good  principles  the  strength  which 
nature  has  denied  to  it,  and  may  be  enabled  to  act  with 
judgment  and  decision  on  every  point  which  can  be 
balanced  in  the  scales  of  right  and  wrong.  It  is  true,  that 
in  mere  matters  of  opinion,  or  in  some  immaterial  parts  of 
conduct,  a  defective  judgment  will  still  display  itself;  but 
if  its  decision  be  right  in  essential  things,  we  must  ac- 
knowledge that  good  principles  of  conduct  perform  their 
part  almost  independent  of  mental  powers,  while  lie,  to 
whom  superior  talents  have  been  given,  can  neither  lay 
claim  to  an  equal  degree  of  wisdom,  nor  merit  equal  hap- 
piness, unless  he  have  submitted  his  judgment  and  conduct 
to  the  same  laws  and  government. 

MRS.  L. — By  good  principles,  I  conclude  you  mean  a 
settled  tendency  in  the  mind  to  act  in  a  manner  most  con- 
sistent to  the  true  dignity  of  our  natures,  and  which  is 
also  to  act  conformably  to  the  will  of  God.  These  prin- 
ciples, though  important  to  man,  appear  to  me  to  be  still 
more  essential  to  woman,  although  both,  perhaps,  have 
equal  temptations  to  err.  But  man  is  less  obedient  to 
momentary  impulses  than  woman ;  he  is  more  prudent, 
ponders  before  he  acts,  examines  into  the  expediency  of 
the  steps  he  is  about  to  take,  and  if  right  principles  do  not 
sway  him,  his  judgment  will  sometimes  induce  him  to 
abandon  injurious  designs,  and  to  adopt  a  discreet  and 
honourable  conduct,  as  best  conducive  to  his  interests. 
While  woman,  too  lively  and  ungovernable  in  her  feelings, 
hasty  in  her  conclusions,  shortsighted  in  her  views,  and 
sometimes  unreasonable  in  her  wishes,  would  be  lost  with- 
out the  guiding  and  restraining  influence  of  virtuous  prin-. 
ciples. 


THEIR  IMPORTANCE  AND  USEFULNESS.  351 

MRS.  B. — They  do  indeed  shelter  and  defend  her  from 
the  dangers  to  which  she  is,  from  her  very  nature  and 
weaknesses,  exposed.  And  besides  this  defence,  they  give 
her  the  best  kind  of  influence  she  can  possess  over  the 
minds  and  affections  of  those  around  her,  enabling  her, 
more  by  the  beauty  of  her  example  than  by  her  precepts, 
to  promote  their  moral  welfare.* 

MRS.  L. — I  heard  some  time  since  a  discussion  between 
two  sensible  women,  whether  habits  are  founded  upon 
principles,  or  principles  upon  habits  :  an  inquiry  not  unin- 
teresting to  those  who  are  called  upon  to  implant  the  basis 
of  right  conduct  upon  a  rising  generation. 

Mas.  B. — The  general  practice  is  in  favour  of  the  latter 
opinion  ;  and  upon  very  uncertain  grounds  would  a  parent 
endeavour  to  bring  up  her  children  virtuously,  if  she  did 
not  commence  her  task  with  the  formation  of  their  habits. 
Habit,  when  once  established,  cannot  be  broken  without 
an  effort ;  and  she  therefore  avails  herself  of  it  in  the  cul- 
tivation of  the  moral  character  of  her  children,  trusting  that 
the  love  of  right  will  be  built  upon  its  practice.  Thus, 
she  will  punish  falsehood  in  her  child,  not  for  its  present 
effects,  which  may  be  trivial,  but  to  check  an  evil  propen- 
sity ;  she  commends  his  honest  confession  of  a  fault,  to 
encourage  ingenuousness  ;  and  she  reproves  a  gust  of  pas- 
sion, not  because  the  little  uplifted  arm  conveys  destruction 
in  its  blow,  but  from  the  dread  that  habit  will  give  strength 
to  the  rage  which  now  raises  it,  and  will  render  its  deeds, 
at  some  future  day,  far  more  guilty.  She  teaches  her 
children  to  lisp  an  early  prayer,  not  from  the  idea  of  any 
present  benefit  which  their  hearts  can  derive  from  the 
practice,  but  because  she  regards  it  as  one  means  of  esta- 
blishing in  them  habitual  devotion,  and  of  rendering  them 
unconscious  of  a  time  in  their  existence,  in  which  their 
days  were  not  begun  and  ended  in  acts  of  homage  to  their 
Creator.  She  obeys  the  injunction  in  the  Book  of  Wisdom, 
to  train  them  up  in  the  way  they  should  go,  in  the  fervent 


L 


352  PHINCIPLES  OF  CONDUCT. 

and  well-grounded  hope,  that  when  they  are  old  they  wtU 
not  depart  from  it. 

In  our  various  conversations,  we  have  been  led  to  per- 
ceive the  influence  which  women  possess  over  the  welfare 
and  happiness  of  society.  Individually  the  extent  of  our 
power  is  limited,  but  collectively  we  hold  in  our  hands 
the  happiness  or  misery  of  living  multitudes,  and  even  of 
unborn  generations,  our  children  handing  down  to  theirs 
the  virtues  or  defects  which  we  have  cherished  or  engen- 
dered in  them.  The  sphere  of  duty  assigned  to  women, 
considered  singly,  is  limited  to  one  family  and  to  one  circle 
in  society ;  but  the  effects  of  the  fulfilment  or  neglect  of 
those  duties  are  extended  almost  beyond  belief.  Perhaps 
this  lengthened  view  may  make  but  little  impression  on  our 
minds,  prone  as  we  are  to  be  more  affected  by  present  than 
by  future  consequences,  but  still  it  must  be  a  source  of 
pleasing  reflection  to  the  zealous  in  well-doing,  that  the 
virtuous  influence  they  enjoy  in  their  day  and  generation, 
will  carry  down  to  their  posterity  a  portion  of  its  beneficial 
effects. 

To  improve  the  present  time,  however,  must  be  the  ob- 
ject of  our  present  care  and  attention,  and  we  must  first 
obtain  the  necessary  influence  by  the  constant  and  vigilant 
cultivation  of  virtue,  and  by  the  subduing  of  ever,  unamia- 
ble  and  unwarrantable  propensity,  before  we  can  reap  the 
reward  of  self-satisfaction,  or  indulge  the  benevolent  hope 
that  the  good  seed  which  we  have  sown  will  flourish 
abundantly. 

The  most  important  consideration  of  the  married  woman, 
is  the  discharge  of  her  duty  as  a  wife.  The  precise  nature 
of  that  duty  must  vary  according  to  the  circumstances  of 
each  individual,  but  in  all  the  chief  points  there  can  be 
no  difference.  Sincerity,  unbroken  confidence,  a  modest 
propriety  of  deportment,  discretion,  and  prudence  in  the 
management  of  domestic  concerns,  with  a  well-governed 
temper,  are  qualities  that  ought  invariably  to  adorn  the 


THEIR  IMPORTANCE  AND  INFLUENCE.      353 

character  of  a  wife  ;  let  her  add  to  these,  amiable  manners, 
an  affectionate  disposition,  and  her  character  will  not  only 
obtain  esteem,  but  influence. 

It  is  not  easy  to  number  in  how  many  ways  such  a  wife 
may  benefit  the  mind  and  habits  of  her  husband.  He 
may,  unhappily,  be  devoid  of  religious  principles ;  he 
may  be  addicted  to  some  vice  ;  may  be  intemperate  in 
his  habits  and  licentious  in  his  conversation  ;  he  may  have 
a  turn  for  extravagance  and  expense,  inconsistent  with  his 
fortune.  It  would  be  a  difficult  and  hazardous  attempt 
for  a  friend,  or  even  for  a  near  relation,  to  undertake  a 
reformation  in  him  of  any  of  these  defects,  but  the  judicious 
exertion  of  his  wife's  influence  may  produce  an  amendment, 
which  would  be  considered  as  a  miracle  if  effected  by  any 
other  hand.  Yet  it  must  be  remembered,  that  this  good 
work  cannot  be  performed  by  one  who  is  herself  defective 
in  principle  and  conduct.  He  who  doubts  the  sincerity  of 
his  wife,  or  who  sees  impropriety  in  her  manners,  and 
suffers  from  her  ill-regulated  mind,  will  believe  that  her 
religion  is  a  mask  which  she  wears  to  procure  for  her  a 
fair  appearance  to  the  world,  but  which  in  his  mind  only 
increases  her  mental  deformity.  The  characteristics  of 
true  religion  are,  purity  of  life,  uprightness  of  mind,  and 
benevolence  of  heart.  While  in  these  qualities  we  need 
ourselves  a  monitor,  we  can  attempt  no  radical  reformation 
in  others. 

Nor  is  the  example  we  present  to  our  children  and  ser- 
vants a  matter  of  no  moment,  as  many  imagine,  who  de- 
pend upon  the  youth  and  inexperience  of  the  one,  for 
security  from  a  troublesome  observation  of  their  conduct, 
and  upon  the  dependant  rank  of  the  other,  to  blind  them 
to  their  vices  and  defects.  These  expectations  will  as- 
suredly be  disappointed.  Children  are  keen-sighted,  and, 
with  retentive  memory,  treasure  up  their  observations ; 
from  which  will  result  disobedience  and  contempt  of  re- 
proof from  parents  whose  conduct  they  do  not  esteem. 
30* 


354  PRINCIPLES  OP  CONDUCT. 

If  obedience  be  obtained  from  children,  after  they  have 
ceased  to  respect  their  parents,  it  is  most  probably  the 
offspring  of  fear,  and  will  not  exist  beyond  the  period  or 
childhood.  When  the  parent  can  no  longer  inflict  pun- 
ishment, apprehension  will  pass  away,  and  leave  no  prin- 
ciple or  affection  to  supply  its  place.  Fear  is  a  base  pas- 
sion, when  unmixed  with  affection  towards  the  object 
exciting  it ;  and  though  the  virtuous  parent  finds  occasion 
to  employ  it  more  or  less  among  his  children,  he  never 
allows  it  to  be  their  only  feeling  towards  him,  but  secures 
its  union  in  their  minds,  with  such  a  portion  of  filial  affec- 
tion and  reverence,  as  to  deprive  it  of  every  ignoble  ten- 
dency, and  to  convert  it  into  an  essential  instrument  of 
their  moral  culture. 

If  failings  are  not  secure  from  the  observation  of  child- 
ren, they  are  still  less  hidden  from  the  notice  of  servants, 
who  are  generally  more  intent  in  watching  the  conduct  of 
their  superiors,  than  in  regulating  thpir  own.  They  can 
easily  distinguish  bet  ween 'virtue  and  vice  ;  and,  according 
as  they  habitually  behold  the  one  or  the  other,  will  the 
bias  be  given  to  their  own  characters.  Not  that  a  vicious 
servant  is  likely  to  be  reclaimed  by  merely  beholding 
virtue  in  his  superiors,  although  it  may  diminish  the  tend- 
ency to  evil  in  him.  *  Unfortunately,  however,  it  is  more 
easy  to  do  harm  by  a  bad  example  than  to  effect  good  by 
a  virtuous  one,  and  much  sooner  could  we  turn  any  one 
from  uprightness  and  purity  of  life,  than  restore  him  to 
his  previous  state  of  innocence,  which,  indeed,  might  be 
for  ever  impossible. 

Natural  affection  for  our  offspring,  prompting  us  to  do 
them  every  possible  good  in  this  world,  as  well  as  to  pro- 
mote their  happiness  in  a  future  life,  is  a  strong  inducement 
to  us  to  set  forth  in  our  lives,  a  copy  worthy  of  their  imi- 
tation ;  and,  in  regard  to  our  dependants,  our  duty  to  God, 
every  principle  of  morality,  and  every  benevolent  feeling 
of  our  hearts,  speak  as  imperious  a  command  to  our 


THEIR  IMPORTANCE  AND  INFLUENCE.     355 

reason,  to  guard  our  lives  and  conversation  from  every 
irregularity  and  tendency,  which  might,  by  the  force  of 
example,  tempt  them  to  deviate  from  their  obedience,  both 
to  the  laws  of  God  and  of  man. 

Besides  all  these  important  motives  to  virtue,  which  be- 
long in  common  to  us  as  wives,  parents,  and  mistresses, 
may  be  added  the  desire  to  maintain  an  irreproachable 
name  in  society ;  a  wish  neither  unnatural  nor  unworthy, 
but  which  those  witnesses  of  our  conduct  who  dwell 
within  our  walls  may  render  abortive,  if  we,  by  an  im- 
peachable  deportment,  place  ourselves  within  their  power. 
The  ignoble  in  mind  are  eager  to  reduce  their  superiors 
nearer  to  their  own  level,  and  from  their  failings  are  willing 
to  extract,  if  they  can,  an  apology  for  their  own.  When 
they  dare  not  openly  censure,  or  express  their  contempt  by 
insolence  of  manner,  they  give  themselves  latitude  in  the 
luxury  of  backbiting,  and  their  reports  often  gain  a  ready 
credit,  from  their  supposed  acquaintance  with  the  private 
scenes  in  the  lives  of  their  employers.  From  such  a  source 
every  communication  should  be  met  with  qualifications 
adequate  to  the  causes  which  mislead  their  judgment,  or 
which  induce  them  to  indulge  in  misrepresentations ;  but 
for  these  misrepresentations  there  is  only  one  sure  exemp- 
tion, the  uniform  practice  of  virtue;  This  will  render  us 
fearless  of  scrutiny,  and  unsuspicious  of  slander. 

MRS.  L. — What  do  you  consider  to  be  the  chief  failings 
of  women  ?  To  vice  in  an  aggravated  degree,  it  can 
scarcely  be  said  they  are  addicted,  although  there  may  be 
instances  of  it,  in  almost  every  rank  of  society ;  still,  that 
it  is  not  common  among  us  is,  I  think,  evident  from  the  ab- 
horrence generally  felt  and  expressed  towards  any  of  the 
unhappy  and  pitiable  victims  to  evil  propensities ;  and, 
also,  from  the  disrepute  which  attaches  itself,  not  only 
to  the  individuals  themselves,  but  to  every  one  connected 
with  them. 

MRS.  B.— The  failings  of  women,  though  they  may 


356  SINCERITY. 

seriously  affect  the  happiness  of  their  family  connections, 
as  we  have  before  agreed,  are,  like  their  virtues,  unob- 
trusive on  general  notice :  and,  when  observed,  are  treated 
sometimes  leniently,  from  the  truth,  which  our  self-know- 
ledge compels  us  to  admit,  that  "  to  err.  is  human  "  The 
characteristic  endowments  of  women,  are  not  of  a  com- 
manding and  imposing  nature,  such  as  man  may  boast  of, 
and  which  enable  him  to  contend  with  difficulties  and  dan- 
gers, to  which,  both  personally  and  mentally,  he  is  liable. 
The  perfection  of  the  female  character  is  attained  by  the 
cultivation  of  endowments  completely  opposed  to  these, 
but  equally  suited  to  the  nature  of  their  duties.  They 
consist  in  purity  of  mind,  simplicity  and  frankness  of  heart, 
benevolence,  prornpling  to  active  charity,  lively  and  warm 
affections,  inducing  a  habit  of  forbearance,  and  the  prac- 
tice of  self-denial,  which  the  comfort  or  good  of  their 
human  ties  may  demand.  These,  when  confirmed  and 
supported  by  a  devout  spirit  towards  God,  give  a  mild 
but  steady  lustre  to  female  existence,  equally  adorning  it 
in  the  character  of  daughter,  wife,  or  mother.  But  when 
these  gifts  of  nature  remain  uncultivated,  or  are  improperly 
directed  by  any  unfavourable  circumstances  in  early  life, 
we  must  expect  to  find  them  degenerated  into  weaknesses, 
or  to  have  given  place  to  their  opposite  defects  :  simpli- 
city and  frankness  changed  into  cunning ;  benevolence 
crushed  into  selfishness,  or  exercised  .without  discretion 
and  judgment ;  irritability  of  temper  instead  of  meekness 
and  forbearance,  and  a  stronger  inclination  to  gratify  self 
than  to  consult  the  wishes  and  the  feelings  of  others  ;  m 
morality  no  steadiness,  expediency  governing  rather  than 
sincerity  of  heart  and  integrity  of  mind  ;  and  in  religion, 
either  enthusiasm  or  coldness  and  indifference.  Let  us 
enter  more  minutely,  both  into  the  examination  of  some 
of  those  qualities  which  we  should  sedulously  cultivate, 
and  of  others  which  we  should  as  carefully  subdue. 
Sincerity,  as  the  only  solid  ground  upon  which  all  othei 


SINCERITY.  357 

virtues  can  rest,  stands  foremost  for  our  examination;  At 
present,  we  will  only  regard  it  as  it  concerns  ourselves 
and  others,  and  will  defer  for  a  subsequent  consideration, 
its  serious  importance  in  the  conduct  of  our  feelings  to- 
wards God. 

Sincerity  is  composed  of  simplicity  of  intention,  and  of 
truth  in  thought  and  word.  A  woman  truly  sincere  will 
say  neither  more  nor  less  than  she  means  and  thinks  ;  she 
is  undesigning,  and  therefore  has  no  cause  to  mislead  by 
her  words  ;  and  though  her  prudence  may  sometimes  re- 
strain her  speech,  it  never  urges  her  to  the  practice  of  dis- 
ingenuity.  Sincerity  is  essential  to  our  comfort  in  all  our 
earthly  connexions;  without  it  there  can  be  no  reliance  or 
confidence,  no  safety;  nor  can  there  be  any  certainty  that 
other  virtues  have  a  firm  footing  in  those  who  are  evidently 
devoid  of  sincerity.  Insincerity  is  the  poison  of  every 
good  quality  and  feeling,  and  can  serve  as  nourishment 
only  to  base  and  unworthy  desires.  There  are  many 
causes  which  conspire  to  render  duplicity 'not  an  uncom- 
mon failing  in  women.  A  sense  of  weakness,  timidity  of 
disposition,  and  a  defective  judgment,  often  lead  them  to 
employ  a  subterfuge  rather  than  open  dealing,  in  the  attain- 
ment of  any  petty  wishes  and  objects.  Some  of  the  usages 
of  society  have  also  a  disingenuous  tendency,  and  they 
who  aspire  to  the  reputation  of  politeness,  not  unfrequently 
practise,  to  its  utmost  extent,  this  licensed  disingenuity, 
although  forfeiting  the  higher  claim  to  sincerity.  Such 
characters  do  no  good  to  themselves,  and,  fortunately,  but 
little  harm  to  others ;  they  gain  no  credit  for  their  profes- 
sions of  friendship  or  good  will,  nor  secure  to  themselves 
any  friendship  more  sincere  than  that  which  they  profess ; 
for  who  can  value  or  attach  themselves  truly  to  those 
whom  they  believe  to  be  hollow  in  heart,  and  to  whom 
they  apply  the  epithet  of  "  people  of  the  world  ?" 

The  love  of  praise,  natural  as  it  is,  and  often  an  instru- 
ment of  good  in  us,  may,  if  wrongfully  applied,  lead  us 


358  MANOEUVRING. 

to  counterfeit  goodness,  rather  than  to  acquire  its  reality. 
The  reputation  thus  obtained  is  an  insecure  possession, 
which  may,  after  labouring  in  artifice  for  years,  be  de- 
stroyed by  the  exposure  of  a  single  moment. 

If  it  be  worth  while  to  appear  to  be  amiable  and  good, 
how  infinitely  preferable  is  it  to  be  really  so  ?  To  prac- 
tise dissimulation  is  like  passing  bad  coin ;  the  counterfeit 
may  be  undiscovered  for  a  season,  and  during  that  time, 
procure  for  us  certain  advantages,  but  the  possession  of 
these  will  be  imbittered  by  the  dread  of  discovery,  which 
sooner  or  later  must  happen,  and  entail  on  us  incon- 
veniences never,  perhaps,  to  be  overcome  ;  suspicion,  how- 
ever false,  will  attach  itself  to  our  future  conduct ;  truth 
will  obtain  for  us  no  credit,  integrity  no  confidence,  If,  on 
a  single  occasion  in  our  lives,  we  have  been  tempted  to 
depart  from  veracity,  we  shall  need  no  assurance  of  the 
misery  and  anxiety  arising  from  it.  To  a  -mind  unused 
to  the  practice  of  deceit,  the  consciousness  of  such  a  de- 
viation from  rectitude  is  punishment  enough  ;  but  beside* 
this,  it  is  ever  haunted  by  tormenting  fears  of  exposure, 
which  it  too  often  seeks  to  avoid,  by  adopting  expedients, 
which,  at  another  time,  it  would  have  spurned  as  base  and 
disgraceful.  With  regret  is  the  truth  perceived  and  ac- 
knowledged, that  it  requires  a  thousand  artifices  to  avert 
the  inconveniences  of  one. 

MRS.  L. — Man(jeuvring,  which  has  been  so  ably  de- 
scribed in  the  character  of  Mrs.  Beaumont,  by  Miss  Edg 
worth,  is  a  species  of  double  dealing  practised  by  many, 
who  would  be  norror-struck  if  they  imagined  their  conduct 
might  be  construed  into  artfulness  ;  and,  indeed,  when  one 
recollects  how  plainly  these  little  arts  are  seen  through, 
one  is  more  ready  to  accuse  them  of  a  simplicity  only  ex- 
celled by  the  ostrich,  which  fancies  itself  hidden  from  its 
pursuers,  if  it  thrust  its  head  in  the  midst  of  a  thicket. 

MRS.  B. — Cunning,  joined  to  a  sense  of  weakness,  I 
believe  to  be  the  cause  of  this  defect,  which  is  generally 


MANOEUVRING.  359 

at  work  to  obtain  petty  ends.  The  manoeuvre!  has  a  few 
mental  reservations,  with  which  she  silences  the  whisper- 
ings of  her  conscience.  She  satisfies  herself  that  she  is 
not  to  be  reproached  while  she  refrains  from  direct  false- 
hood, but  allows  herself  freely  to  colour,  as  may  suit  her 
purpose,  all  her  representations.  If  she  really  deludes,  is 
she  less  censurable  than  he  who  plainly  asserts  what  is 
false  ?  Both  have  the  same  end  in  view, — to  deceive. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  heard  of  a  lady,  whose  indulgence  of 
this  habit  had  become  so  notorious,  that  no  one  ever  heard 
her  express  a  sentiment  without  searching  into  her  sup- 
posed hidden  meaning,  none  doubting  that  the  one  which 
was  obvious  was  not  the  real  one,  and  that  some  design 
was  attached  to  it  that  might  concern  themselves.  This 
was  often  true  with  regard  to  those  whose  conduct  she 
wished  to  influence  and  direct  to  some  particular  end.  In 
one  event,  however,  she  was  curiously  misinterpreted. 
Not  liking  to  avow  her  disinclination  to  a  marriage  which 
her  daughter  wished  to  form,  she  thought  to  prevent  it  by 
the  introduction  of  an  under-plot ;  and  trusting  it  would 
bring  about  a  mutual  disagreement  between  the  parties, 
she  did  not  by  word  or  action  discountenance  the  attach- 
ment, but  suffered  the  young  people  to  commit  her  to  all 
their  friends  as  sanctioning  the  connexion.  The  plot  failed, 
but  not  until  it  was  too  late  for  her  1o  recede  with  any 
kind  of  credit.  Her  ungoverned  anger  when  she  found 
her  scheme  thwarted,  betrayed  to  her  thunder-struck 
daughter  the  real  state  of  the  case,  who,  however,  feeling 
that  her  mother's  estimation  among  her  friends  (as  well  as 
her  own  happiness)  depended  upon  her  apparent  con- 
sistency, determined  to  brook  the  storm,  and  to  pursue  her 
course  steadily,  in  ratifying  her  union,  choosing,  as  the  least 
evil  among  many,  to  leave  her  mother  to  smother  her  vexa- 
tion, and  to  console  herself  for  her  disappointment  as  well 
as  she  was  able. 

MRS.   B. — Similar   mistakes   in    such    a    system  of 


360  PRIDE  AND  VANITY. 

management  will  occur  to  the  ablest  manoeuvrer,  but  these 
are  not  the  least  inconveniences  that  may  arise.  To  say 
nothing  of  the  loss  of  the  esteem  and  confidence  of  all  who 
are  aware  of  her  foible,  an  injurious  effect  is  caused  to  her 
own  mind,  for  which  no  occasional  success  can  compensate. 
She  who  is  habitually  deluding  others,  will  end  in  de- 
ceiving herself.  The  crooked  policy  she  pursues,  and  the 
sophistry  which  she  employs  in  arguing  and  persuading 
others,  and  in  silencing  any  truths  which  her  own  con- 
science suggests,  will  by  degrees  deprive  herot  the  power 
of  thinking  justly,  and  as  her  judgment  becomes  weaker,  her 
management  will  be  more  and  more  preposterous  and  ap- 
'parent,  and  her  success  consequently  very  rare. 

In  fact,  sincerity  is  as  essential  to  the  health  of  our  minds 
as  wholesome  food  and  pure  air  are  to  our  bodies.  What- 
ever may  be  our  other  deficiencies  and  defects,  this  sterling- 
virtue  should  be  our  sheet  anchor.  This  alone  ought  to 
secure  to  us  the  friendship,  esteem,  and  confidence,  ol"  our 
social  and  relative  connections,  and  by  this  may  we  best 
rescue  from  sinking  into  corruption,  our  good  and  amiable 
qualities  and  endowments  ;  this  will  counterbalance  in  our 
minds  the  effect  which  wordly  cares,  pleasures,  and  hopes, 
have  in  diminishing  their  purity  and  lustre. 

Among  the  causes  of  self-deception,  pride  and  vanity 
must  be  numbered,  since  it  is  evident  that  they  blind  the 
understanding,  and  teach  it  to  v'alue  unduly  either  the  gifts 
of  nature  or  fortune. 

MRS.  L. — Do  not  some  persons  contend  for  the  utility  u! 
these  two  propensities,  the  one  keeping  us  from  degrading 
our  natures,  and  the  other  urging  us  to  the  attainment  of 
excellence  on  some  point  or  other.  If  this  be  true,  and  it 
they  really  be  instruments  of  improvement,  how  is  it  that 
the  moralist  calls  them  vices  of  the  mind  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  is  a  part  of  the  wise  constitution  of  our 
natures,  that  our  passions,  guided  by  reason,  should  be 
instrumental  of  good,  furnishing  us  with  a  variety  of  induce- 


TRIBE.  361 

ments  to  pursue  our  true  interests ;  yet,  without  the  control 
of  reason,  we  know  how  productive  the  passions  are  of 
mischief  and  misery  in  the  world.  All,  therefore,  that  the 
moralist  requires,  is  their  government,  not  their  utter  ex- 
tinction, which  would  deprive  us  of  an  essential  part  of  our 
intellectual  nature. 

Pride,  in  its  usual  acceptation,  is  an  opinion  of  our  supe- 
riority, far  beyond  what  we  can  justly  entertain.  In  dif- 
ferent individuals  we  see  it  variously  directed  :  some  pride 
themselves  on  intellectual,  others  upon  personal  gifts :  some 
derive  to  themselves  merit  from  their  ancestry,  and  others 
value,  more  than  they  deserve,  the  favours  of  fortune.  In 
all  these  cases,  admiration,  submission  to  the  will  of  judg- 
ment, and  sometimes  adulation,  are  required  from  surround- 
ing connections  and  dependents,  while  the  return  granted 
(degrading  the  objects  on  whom  it  is  bestowed,)  is  either 
condescending  affability,  or  contempt  and  scorn.  Pride  is 
easily  mortified  when  the  homage  it  demands  is  not  duly 
paid  ;  and  by  this  mortification  many  disorders  of  the  heart 
and  mind  are  engendered  or  cherished, — unjust  anger,  dis- 
like, revenge  and  tyranny,  ill-humour,  and  the  loss  of  that 
cheerful  spirit  which  is  common  to  those  only  who  are 
neither  discontented  with  their  fellow-creatures,  nor  with 
themselves  or  their  lot  in  life. 

By  the  indulgence  of  this  passion,  habits  of  expense  not 
consistent  with  prudence,  are  sometimes  adopted ;  poverty 
is  deemed  a  disgrace,  and  to  avoid  its  appearance  the 
reality  is  incurred ;  and,  what  is  worse,  pride  frequently 
produces  a  disdain  of  laudable  exertions  for  independence. 
They  who  have  been  thus  influenced  have  chosen  to  eat 
the  bread  of  charity,  and  have  preferred  their  children  to 
be  dependent  on  the  bounty  of  others,  rather  than  to  be 
known  to  the  world  as  capable  of  overcoming  the  frowns 
of  fortune,  by  an  honourable  employment  of  their  talents, 
so  that  meanness,  a  quality  apparently  contrary  to  the 
nature  of  pride,  is  the  result. 
31 


362  VANITY. 

Pride  produces  unamiable  feelings  towards  our  fellow- 
creatures;  kindles  and  inflames  petty  feuds  and  jealousies 
among  relatives  and  neighbours ;  excites  uncandid  and 
severe  reflections  upon  each  other's  conduct  and  measures  ; 
renders  the  heart  swollen  with  self-importance,  and  the 
whole  world  a  cipher,  in  comparison  to  itself.  Indeed, 
it  would  be  endless  to  enumerate  all  the  evils  and  conse- 
quences attendant  on  pride. 

MRS.  L. — Shall  we  inquire  into  the  nature  and  effects  of 
vanity? 

MRS.  B. — Vanity  is  considered  as  a  meaner  vice  of  the 
heart  than  pride ;  the  one  believing  in,  and  asserting  its 
claim,  to  the  superiority,  to  which  vanity  only  pretends  ; 
vanity  is  solicitous  of  admiration  and  praise,  but  not  scru- 
pulous to  deserve  them.  When,  however,  it  is  not  attended 
(as  is  often  the  case)  by  a  weakness  of  parts  and  an  un- 
sound judgment,  it  may  prove  an  incitement  to  real  im- 
provement, and  give  a  spirit  at  once  eager  to  attempt,  and 
equal  to  overcome  difficulties  and  obstacles,  which  to  the 
humble  and  diffident  would  appear  insuperable. 

In  young  women,  vanity  is  sometimes  turned  from  frivo- 
lous pursuits  and  delights,  and  converted  into  an  amiable 
desire  to  please,  and  to  obtain  the  approbation  of  worthy 
and  estimable  people  :  this  promotes  in  them  the  cultiva- 
tion of  good  qualities,  and  the  acquisition  of  desirable 
attainments.  Yet  regarding  vanity  as  it  is  most  commonly 
beheld,  we  should  affirm  it  to  be  hollow  and  deceitful, 
and  the  origin  of  female  folly  in  every  shade  and  degree. 

To  attract  and  please  the  eye  by  personal  attractions 
and  by  gay  and  fashionable  attire ;  to  obtain  notice  and 
admiration  by  the  supposed  possession  of  talents  and  ac- 
quirements, exceeding  what  is  usual ;  to  be  signalized  by 
the  splendour  and  eclat  of  routs  and  parties  ;  to  affect  a 
striking  or  novel  manner,  and  to  entertain  peculiar  notions, 
which  may  obtain  some  kind  of  distinction  where  real 
merit  is  wanting,  are  among  the  chief  objects  which 


VANITY.  363 

woman's  vanity  has  in  view.  Sacrificing  three  parts  of  an 
existence,  wasting  the  whole  mental  and  rational  powers, 
for  the  sole  gratification  of  fluttering  in  the  atmosphere  of 
admiration,  during  a  few  short  hours  of  life  ;  expending  in 
the  brilliancy  of  a  single  night,  a  sum  not  inferior  to  the 
year's  income  ;  envying  those  whom  superiority  renders 
rivals,  and  detracting  from  their  merit ;  indulging  the 
fretfulness  to  which  the  disappointment  of  false  preten- 
sions has  given  rise,  are  some  of  the  effects  of  woman's 
vanity. 

It  is  vanity,  also,  which  exposes  young  women  to  the 
impertinence  of  undisguised  flattery,  and  leaves  them  open 
to  the  folly  of  interpreting  it  into  the  language  of  admira- 
tion. It  is  vanity  which  induces  still  greater  breaches  of 
prudence  and  propriety,  kindling  the  train  of  flirting  and 
coquetry,  which,  if  not  ending  in  essentially  injuring  a 
woman's  character,  always  diminishes  its  respectability. 
It  attaches  a  suspicion  and  apprehension,  that  levity  of 
manner  will  end  in  levity  of  conduct,  and  is  the  symptom 
which  betrays  to  the  sensible  part  of  society,  a  woman's 
unfitness  to  maintain  the  propriety,  and  to  perform  the 
duties  of  a  wife  or  mother. 

MRS.  L. — I  do  not  think  an  opinion  of  this  kind,  formed 
from  the  gayety  and  inconsiderateness  of  a  young  woman's 
manner,  is  always  just.  I  have  known  some,  who  have 
drawn  upon  themselves,  not  only  the  animadversions  of 
crabbed  and  malignant  people,  but  even  the  censure  of 
the  candid  and  liberal  minded ;  yet  these,  notwithstanding, 
have  proved  themselves  possessed  of  many  valuable  and 
desirable  qualities,  when  in  after-life  they  have  been 
drawn  into  exercise  ;  on  the  other  hand,  I  have  known 
one  or  two  young  people,  who  have  been  marked  as  pat- 
terns of  propriety,  and  who  have  imposed  on  opinion  by 
a  grave  exterior,  while  their  hearts  and  minds  have  been 
so  ill -regulated,  if  not  corrupted,  as  to  cause  the  end  of 
their  admired  courses  to  be  far  from  correct,  and  which 


364  PROPRIETY  IN  CONDUCT. 

exposed  a  system  of  art  and  management  in  them  scarcely 
credible. 

MRS.  B. — It  would  be  very  uncandid  not  to  make  every 
allowance  for  juvenile  gayety  of  heart,  and,  indeed,  I  know 
not  who  would  desire  to  impose  any  constraint,  which 
would  diminish  the  proper  and  natural  enjoyment  of  all 
the  amusements  of  youth.  It  is  the  levity  of  manner  ex- 
cited by  vanity  which  should  be  checked,  and  not  the  ani- 
mation to  which  a  happy  disposition  may  give  rise.  The 
one  is  harmless  and  pleasing ;  the  other  designing  and 
contemptible ;  liable  to  the  ridicule  of  the  sarcastic,  and 
to  the  pity  and  reprehension  of  the  considerate  and  reflect- 
ing part  of  the  world. 

But  whether  unmarried  or  married,  propriety  of  de- 
portment is  essential  to  woman's  good  report.  This  is 
peculiarly  the  case  with  the  young  married  woman,  who 
should  always  bear  in  mind,  that  she  no  longer  singly  abides 
by  the  consequences  of  her  own  conduct,  but  involves 
another  in  the  degree  of  respectability  which  she  herself 
maintains.  A  husband  is  almost  equally  degraded,  and 
certainly  always  deeply  mortified  by  his  wife's  dereliction 
Irom  propriety ;  and  when  she  becomes  a  parent,  her  duty 
is  imperative  to  hand  down  to  her  children  an  unsullied 
name  and  reputation.  The  greatest  injury  and  injustice  a 
mother  can  inflict  upon  her  daughters,  is  the  stigma  which 
her  imprudent  levity  casts  upon  them,  and  which  is  scarcely 
ever  to  be  removed  by  their  own  exemplary  demeanour. 
A  mother's  delinquency  often  mars  her  daughter's  happiest 
prospects  in  life,  distancing  from  her  the  honourable  and 
virtuous  part  of  the  community,  and  lessening  the  pro- 
bability of  her  forming  any  desirable  intimacies,  or  a 
connection  in  marriage,  equal  to  the  expectations  she 
might  have  had,  if  shame  had  not  been  attached  to  her 
name. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  observed  that  young  women  so  cir- 
cumstanced, are  subject  to  severer  strictures  and  reflections 


FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES.  365 

than  others,  upon  their  general  manners ;  and  especially 
are  not  spared,  if  they  betray  what  are  supposed  to  be 
hereditary  symptoms  of  impropriety. 

MRS.  B. — And  I  think  with  great  injustice  and  cruelty. 
She  who  suffers  inconveniences  brought  upon  her  by  a 
parent's  misconduct,  is  ve-y  likely  to  be  more  circumspect ; 
and  to  avoid  falling  into  similar  errors,  unless  she  has  al- 
ways been  under  the  guidance  and  influence  of  her  mother, 
and  through  the  medium  of  filial  affection  has  been  taught 
to  view  her  errors  with  too  lenient  a  judgment.  Very 
often,  however,  the  case  is  different ;  and  feelings  have 
been  bitterly  excited  in  young  women,  towards  the  parent 
who  has  subjected  them  to  such  odium  and  degradation, 
Perhaps  this  is  scarcely  to  be  censured,  but  must  be 
added  to  the  list  of  grievous  evils  which  attend  such  a 
case. 

An  easy  manner  and  sprightly  conversation  can  never 
subject  a  woman  to  any  reproach,  provided  the  one  is  free 
from  affectation  and  from  any  design  to  attract  peculiar 
notice,  and  the  whole  thread  and  substance  of  the  other 
shows  innocence  of  mind,  and  the  simple  desire  to  amuse 
and  to  be  amused.  Not  even  the  poisoned  shafts  of  envy 
can  injure  a  woman's  fame  irremediably,  if  she  be  only 
true  to  herself ;  and  careful  that  she  does  not  corroborate 
slander  by  any  word  or  deed  of  imprudence.  Suspicion 
will  arise  and  attach  itself  for  ever  to  a  woman's  charac- 
ter, if  her  conduct  warrants  it ;  but  if  her  general  deport- 
ment prove  that  good  principles  and  a  strong  sense  of 
decorum  guide  and  regulate  her  conduct,  she  may  safely 
defy  slander,  even  in  its  most  envenomed  form. 

Fortitude  under  affliction  and  misfortune,  with  a  resigned 
spirit  when  these  are  irremediable,  are  the  virtues  which 
next  present  themselves  for  our  consideration. 

Fortitude,  although  it  is  deemed  a  manly  virtue,  is  by 
no  means  rare  in  women.  Many  are  the  instances  among 
31* 


360  FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES. 

us  of  admirable  endurance  of  pain,  and  of  patient  sub- 
mission to  the  will  of  Heaven.  Many  a  wife,  in  the  hour 
of  adversity,  has  been  the  almost  cheerful  support  and 
comfort  of  her  husband  ;  has  subdued  her  own  feelings,  or 
kept  them,  with  the  firm  hold  of  fortitude,  from  over- 
whelming him,  or  even  from  adding  to  his  sorrow  ;  has 
cheered  him  with  hope,  or  fortified  his  mind  to  endure 
with  patience. 

MRS.  L. — Fortitude  is  not,  I  suppose,  dependent  on 
personal  courage,  or  women  would  not  often  rank  it  among 
their  virtues. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  a  virtue  of  the  soul,  and  consists  in  a  firm 
and  resolute  spirit  to  undertake  any  task  which  duty  en- 
joins, and  to  persevere  to  the  completion  of  that  duty. 
Reason  and  reflection  are  its  chief  support,  and  therefore 
personal  courage,  though  useful  as  a  coadjutor,  is  not  ab- 
solutely essential  to  it.  Fortitude  does  not  uniformly 
belong  to  those  whom  strength  of  body  and  vigour  oi 
mind  render  fearless  in  spirit,  nor  is  it  incompatible  with 
feminine  weakness  of  form,  and  delicacy  of  mind  and 
constitution.  ^vi'.-f 

The  fortitude  of  women  is  chiefly  of  a  passive  kind  ; 
diminishing  their  apprehension  of  evil,  and  preparing  their 
minds  to  receive  and  support  it  with  calm  magnanimity, 
and  with  meek  submission  to  the  will  that  decrees  it.  A 
firm  and  patient  spirit  deprives  misfortune  and  pain  of 
half  their  poignancy,  and  to  cultivate  such  a  state  of  mind 
is  equally  recommended  both  by  heathen  and  Christian 
philosophy,  which  may  be  considered  as  a  test  of  its  value 
and  importance :  for  it  is  not  every  virtue  that  heathen 
wisdom  has  enjoined,  which  can  be  thus  strengthened  and 
enforced  by  Christianity. 

MRS.  L. — You  say  that  fortitude  is  supported  by  reason 
and  reflection ;  but  how  often  do  these  desert  us  in  our 
time  of  need!  To  reason  and  reflect  appear  to  be  im- 
possible when  sudden  calamity  attacks  us,  and  during  the 


FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES,  367 

first  moments  of  our  grief,  we  fancy  that  self-command  and 
composure  will  never  return  to  us. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  very  true  ;  sorrow  will  overpower  us  for 
a  time,  and  nothing  can  prevent  it.  Indeed  it  would  not 
be  natural,  nor  would  it  answer  the  end  for  which  it  is 
permitted  in  the  world,  if  it  were  received  with  indiffer- 
ence. They,  however,  who  have  not  murmured  though 
they  have  mourned  in  affliction,  generally  perceive  some 
silent  effect  to  be  working  in  their  hearts  during  the  season 
of  grief,  which  afterwards  enables  them  to  acknowledge 
the  wisdom  and  mercy  of  the  blow,  which  has  struck 
them.  They  have,  perhaps,  been  awakened  by  it,  from  a 
state  of  thoughtlessness,  and  from  the  neglect  of  what 
should  have  been  their  chief  concern,  the  approbation  of 
Heaven ;  they  may  have  been  roused  from  a  state  of  se- 
curity into  which  a  long  term  of  health  and  prosperity  had 
betrayed  them,  and  which  had  made  them  forgetful  either 
of  the  instability  of  all  temporal  good,  or  that  to  Him  who 
had  given  it,  *  they  had  a  deep  debt  of  gratitude  to  pay, 
and  to  prove  it  by  dispensing  to  others  some  of  the  bene- 
fits conferred  on  them.  It  is  by  affliction,  a  language  not 
to  be  misinterpreted,  that  the  Benefactor  whom  they  had 
neglected  recalls  them  to  their  duty,  softens  their  hearts 
towards  himself,  teaches  them  the  just  value  and  use  of 
earthly  blessings,  and  how  to  resign  them  when  He  wills  it. 

Such  should  be  the  effect  of  grief  upon  our  hearts ;  but 
after  its  first  violence  is  passed  over,  we  should  commence 
the  task  of  rousing  ourselves  into  some  mental  or  bodily  ex- 
ertion, by  which  our  minds  may  be  restored  to  their  usual 
state  of  energy. 

If  this  exertion  be  not  attempted,  grief  becomes  a  habit 
of  indulgence,  which  it  may  not  be  easy  to  break ;  and 
which  may  end  in  despondency,  weakening  both  mind  and 
foody. 

MRS.  L. — How  may  fortitude  be  acquired  ? 

MRS.  B. — Its  foundation  may  be  laid  in  the  character  at 


368  FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES. 

an  early  period  in  life,  by  the  judicious  efforts  of  a  parent., 
who  should  give  her  children  an  example  in  herself  oi 
perseverance  in  what  she  deems  right  to  be  done,  and  ot 
patient  endurance  of  pain  and  sufferings,  whenever  they 
occur  to  her.  She  should  encourage  them  to  bear  pain 
with  as  few  symptoms  of  uneasiness  as  possible ;  and 
every  effort  they  make  should  receive  the  reward  of  her 
approbation,  bestowed  in  a  degree  proportioned  to  the 
extent  of  the  firmness  and  patience  displayed.  Marry  ot 
the  vices  of  childhood  arise  from  timidity  and  the  appre- 
hension of  pain,  detects  which  cannot  be  overcome  by 
punishment ;  that  would  add  to,  rather  than  diminish  the 
evil.  It  is  by  a  gentle  and  constant  encouragement,  that  a 
child  may  be  induced  to  make  efforts  to  subdue  its  own 
fears,  and  to  endure  pain  patiently. 

If  this  maternal  care  has  not  been  bestowed,  and  in 
later  life  fortitude  is  to  be  acquired,  it  can  only  be  done 
by  ourselves  :  reason  must  tell  us  .how  unavailing  it  is  to 
give  way  to  apprehension  of  suffering,  or  to  violent  grief, 
and  religion  will  point  out  to  us  that  it  is  sinful  as  well  as 
useless.  What  God  has  appointed  for  us  to  undergo,  we 
cannot  avert;  but  by  patience  and  resignation  we  may 
obtain  His  favour,  and  may  also  prove  that  "  by  the  sorrow 
of  the  countenance  the  heart  may  be  made  better." 

Some  young  women  have  imagined  it  amiable  to  give 
way  to  the  violence  of  their  feelings,  whenever  occasion 
called  them  forth,  entirely  forgetting  how  much  greater 
their  merit  would  have  been,  had  they  struggled  to  restrain 
them  within  the  boundary  of  moderation.  Instead  of  this, 
they  have  selfishly  added  to  the  grief  of  those  involved  in 
the  same  trouble,  by  yielding  up  their  self-possession,  and 
to  such  a  point,  as  to  enfeeble  both  their  minds  and  bodies. 
By  this  indulgence  their  sensibility  became  diseased,  and 
they  consequently  were  great  sufferers,  unable  to  support 
themselves  or  to  solace  others. 

A  command  of  the  feelings  may  be  difficult  to  acquire 


FORTITUDE  UNDER  MISFORTUNES.  369 

in  those  who  are  quick  and  lively ;  but  as  it  certainly  may 
be  done,  and  as  it  gives  a  mental  strength  of  great  im- 
portance to  women,  it  should  be  sedulously  cultivated. 
How  painful  it  must  be  to  find  ourselves  incapable,  from 
excess  of  feeling,  to  attend  to  the  last  offices  and  duties1 
which  our  dying  friends  require  from  us,  and  to  be  com- 
pelled, rather  than  to  disturb  them  by  our  grief,  to  intrust 
to  hired  hands  the  performance  of  the  last  offices,  which 
filial,  conjugal,  or  maternal  duty  would  enjoin.  Woman 
is  no  longer  a  rational  being,  when  she  has  yielded  up  her 
reason  to  her  feelings. 

Presence  of  mind  is  a  branch  of  fortitude,  the  most  dif- 
ficult of  any  to  attain,  because  it  requires  coolness  and  in- 
trepidity of  conduct,  to  be  exerted  upon  the  emergency  of 
a  moment.  Evils  which  we  can  foresee,  we  may  with 
more  ease  fortify  our  minds  to  receive  calmly,  but  sudden 
demands  upon  our  strength  of  mind  we  are  often  unable 
to  answer.  Yet  many  a  life  has  been  sacrificed  to  a  de- 
ficiency in  presence  of  mind.  Parents  have  seen  their 
children  perish  by  fire,  suffocated,  or  lamed  for  life  by  ac- 
cidents which  they  might  have  prevented,  had  all  their 
senses  been  in  proper  order.  Accidents,  too,  to  ourselves 
might  sometimes  have  been  averted,  had  we  not  been  ter- 
rified into  measures,  just  the  reverse  of  what  we  should 
have  taken. 

MRS.  L. — I  think  it  follows,  of  course,  that  a  patient  and 
resigned  temper  are  united. 

MRS.  B. — Resignation  is  the  effect  of  patience.  It  is 
completely  opposed  to  a  fretful  and  repining  temper,  ad- 
mitting without  a  murmur  the  wisdom  and  justice  of  the 
hand  which  afflicts  ;  and  the  submission  of  the  will  to  that 
wisdom,  preserves  the  mind  in  a  quiet  and  placid  state, 
undisturbed  by  the  anxiety  and  fear  to  which  an  impatient 
temper  is  liable.  It  is  an  affecting  but  improving  spec- 
tacle, to  behold  pious  resignation  under  any  circumstances, 
whether  portrayed  during  the  ravage  of  disease  on  the 


370         CONDUCT  OF  A  YOUNG  WIDOW. 

youthful  form,  causing  its  premature  decay ;  or  when  dis- 
played in  maturer  life,  under  all  the  trials  of  adversity, 
aggravated  by  sickness. 

With  what  different  feelings  we  regard  impatience 
under  misfortune ;  our  commiseration  is  then  unmixed 
with  admiration,  and  while  we  pity,  we  would  fain 
admonish  the  sufferer  on  the  wisdom  and  duty  of  patience 
and  submission,  and  remind  him  that  by  repining  he  can- 
not diminish  the  cause  of  his  complaint,  but  may  displease 
heaven  irremediably.  With  such  a  temper  in  the  time  of 
adversity,  the  wife  must  be  a  torment  instead  of  a  com- 
forting friend  to  her  husband,  proving  herself  to  be  selfish 
and  unfeeling ;  and  leading  to  the  belief,  that  her  murmur- 
ing arises  more  from  the  diminution  of  some  of  the  lesser 
gratifications  of  life,  than  from  the  blighted  prospects 
and  disappointed  hopes  of  her  husband,  which  may 
check  the  prosperity  of  his  life,  and  the  future  welfare 
of  his  children. 

I  will  now  endeavour  to  give  you  a  few  hints  respecting 
the  conduct  of  a  young  woman,  who  may  be  unfortunately 
left  a  widow,  and  who  finds  that,  added  to  her  previous  ma- 
ternal cares,  her  husband  has  left  her  the  guardianship  of 
his  children,  and  an  executrix  to  his  will.  With  regard  to 
her  own  deportment,  I  shall  merely  observe,  that  when 
time  has  healed  the  wound  which  his  death  has  inflicted, 
and  when  the  season  has  elapsed  which  decorum  has  ap- 
pointed for  retirement  from  public  amusements,  and  from 
scenes  of  gayety  (supposed  ta  be  incompatible  with  the 
state  of  feeling  of  one  recently  bereft  of  the  most  intimate 
of  human  ties),  the  widow  will  probably  be  again  seen 
in  the  world,  and  will  again  mix  in  her  usual  societies. 
She  should,  now,  bear  in  mind,  that,  from  the  circumstance 
of  her  being  left  entirely  to  her  own  conduct,  many  .eyes 
will  be  upon  her ;  and,  from  various  motives,  many  will 
curiously  examine  into  the  circumspection  and  prudence 
of  her  conduct.  If  the  breath  of  slander  ought  not  to 


CONDUCT  OF  A  YOUNG  WIDOW.         371 

reach  her  as  a  wife,  it  is  even  more  essential  to  her,  that 
as  a  widow  it  should  be  completely  suppressed.  She  has 
no  longer  a  protector  to  shelter  her  when  reproached,  nor 
to  sanction  with  his  approbation  her  future  steps.  She 
has  to  screen  the  name  she  bears  from  the  very  shadow  of 
disrepute,  because,  besides,  belonging  to  her  children,  he 
who  owned  it  and  bestowed  it  upon  her  can  no  longer  de- 
fend and  rescue  it  from  calumny  and  disgrace. 

A  great  vicissitude  in  a  woman's  circumstances  and 
situation  not  unfrequently  occurs  upon  the  death  of  her 
husband ;  and  in  the  higher  rank  of  society  this  is  often 
peculiarly  severe.  She  who  has  been  the  mistress  of 
splendid  mansions,  has  had  numerous  establishments  at  her 
command,  and  the  power  to  gratify  every  wish  and  desire 
as  far  as  wealth  could  realize  them,  finds  herself,  all  at 
once,  obliged  to  inhabit  only  one  humble  dwelling,  and  to 
circumscribe  her  gratifications  into  limits,  which  to  you  or 
me  might  appear  sufficiently  ample,  but  which  to  her  seems 
scarcely  to  extend  beyond  the  pale  of  adversity.  A  widow 
thus  placed  has  much  need  for  the  fortitude  of  which  we 
have  been  speaking.  And  even  those  of  an  inferior  rank 
have  their  trials  and  difficulties  to  support  with  dignity  and 
composure. 

During  her  temporary  seclusion  from  general  society,  a 
widow  can  hardly  employ  her  time  more  wisely,  than  in 
forming  her  plans,  and  arranging  her  future  establishment 
and  mode'of  living.  In  doing  this  she  would  do  well  to 
lay  her  intentions  and  wishes  before  those  whom  her  hus- 
band has  appointed,  with  herself,  his  executors,  and  the 
guardians  to  his  children.  Believing  that  he  would  join 
with  her  in  these  important  offices  none  whom  he  did  not 
consider  qualified  for  them,  both  in  regard  to  probity  and 
ability,  she  cannot  adt  more  agreeably  to  his  wishes  than 
by  consulting  them,  and  confiding  in  their  judgment,  on  all 
those  points  respecting  which,  as  a  woman,  she  is  less  able 
to  decide  wisely. 


372  HUSBAND'S  RELATIONS. 

It  often  happens,  however,  that  a  widow  and  her  co-ex 
ecutors  and  guardians  are  at  variance  ;  she,  tenacious  of  her 
power,  jealous  of  their  interference,  and  suspicious  of  their 
negligence  in  promoting  her  interests  or  those  of  her  fa- 
mily ;  while  they,  perhaps,  are  irritated  and  troubled  by 
her  ignorance  in  matters  of  business,  and  made  angry  by 
her  want  of  friendly  confidence  in  their  intention,  and  in 
their  desire  to  discharge  the  duties  which  friendship  has 
imposed  on  them.  Thus  parties,  who  should  go  hand  in 
hand  in  forwarding  or  rejecting  the  measures  proposed 
with  the  view  of  promoting  the  welfare  of  a  fatherless 
family,  are,  too  generally,  opposed  to  each  other,  and  the 
wisest  plans  and  best  intentions  are  thwarted,  by  the  inter- 
ference of  petty  and  ill-governed  feelings.  When  a  woman 
is  satisfied  as  to  the  integrity  and  prudence  of  her  co-ex- 
ecutors, she  will  only  be  doing  them  justice,  if  she  confide 
all  matters  of  business  to  them  ;  seeking  only  to  understand 
the  measures  they  intend  to  adopt,  that  her  judgment  and 
acquiescence  may  accord  with  each  other. 

A  prudent  woman  cannot  be  blind  to  the  advantages 
which  may  accrue  to  her  children,  from  the  unanimity 
she  preserves  with  their  other  guardians  ;  and  how  much 
for  their  interest  it  is,  that  the  friendship  entertained  for 
their  father  should  revert  to  them,  and  be  exerted  in  sup- 
plying to  them,  as  much  as  is  possible,  the  paternal  care  01 
which  death  has  deprived  them. 

Besides  the  propriety  of  cultivating  the  good  will  and 
friendship  of  her  co-executors,  a  widow  should  adopt  every 
means  of  attaching  her  children  peculiarly  to  her  husband's 
family  and  connections.  The  petty  feelings  which  some- 
times interpose  themselves  between  herself  and  her  part- 
ners in  office,  mutually  disturbing  their  good  humour,  aro 
as  often  at  work  in  closing  the  hearts  of  her  husband's  rela- 
tions against  both  herself  and  children,  and  in  checking; 
their  desire  to  stretch  out  a  helping  hand  to  any  of  the 
family  who  may  in  the  course  of  time  require  it.  If  in 


CIRCLE  OP  ACQUAINTANCE.  373 

pecuniary  matters,  a  young  family  are  independent  of  their 
paternal  relations,  still  they  may  stand  otherwise  in  need 
of  their  assistance.  Who  can  say  that  the  introduction 
and  sanction  of  a  grandfather  or  an  uncle  may  not  ensure 
the  favourable  commencement  of  a  young  man  in  his  pro- 
fessional career,  or  place  and  support  him  in  a  rank  of 
society,  to  which  he  might  not  easily  attain  by  his  own 
merit  ?  A  widowed  mother,  too,  may  find  her  influence 
over  the  minds  of  her  sons  insufficient  to  direct  their  con- 
duct, as  they  advance  towards  manhood,  in  the  course 
which  her  wishes  and  views  for  them  direct ;  and  in  such 
a  case  she  may  have  her  authority  effectually  aided  and 
enforced  by  the  manly  advice  which  with  propriety  may 
proceed  from  the  lips  of  a  near  relation  of  a  deceased 
father.  It  must  not,  however,  be  forgotten,  that  just 
causes  may  exist  to  induce  a  Avoman  to  distance  herself 
from  her  husband's  relations,  and  may  render  her  unable 
*o  expect  from  them  services  such  as  these.  But,  more 
frequently,  the  causes  of  disunion  between  them  and  her- 
self are  jealousy  and  suspicion. 

MRS.  L. — A  widow,  very  seldom,  I  think,  keeps  up  so 
extensive  a  circle  of  friends  and  acquaintance  as  during 
her  husband's  life.  Is  it  well  that  she  should  contract  it 
so  much  as  is  usually  done  ? 

MRS.  B. — Her  circumstances  may  require  a  restriction 
of  this  kind,  which,  however,  should  be  made  with  much 
consideration,  and  should  not  be  more  limited  than  what 
prudence  or  necessity  may  demand.  Valuable  friendships 
formed  by  the  father  should  be  regarded  as  a  part  of  his 
children's  inheritance,  which  the  mother  must  not  suffer  to 
be  diminished  by  her  indifference  and  neglect.  And  in 
contracting  her  circle  in  society,  she  should  consider  the 
advantage  of  her  children  more  than  her  own  inclinations, 
and  yield  up  the  acquaintance  chiefly  of  those  from  whom 
but  little  good  can  be  expected.  It  is  not  rank  or  fashion 
that  should  guide  her  choice :  these  are  unsubstantial  ad- 

32 

' 


374  OLD  AGE. 

vantages,  which  may  determine  her  selection  of  "  summer 
friends,"  but,  in  choosing  solid  friends,  such  considerations 
should  have  no  weight  with  her,  in  comparison  with  the 
pre-eminent  distinctions  of  virtue  and  wisdom. 

Sometimes  a  widow  withdraws  from  society,  because 
she  cannot  receive  company  in  the  style  to  which  she  has 
been  accustomed ;  weakly  allowing  feelings  of  mortified 
pride  to  govern  her,  instead  of  consulting  what  may  be 
advantageous  for  her  family.  Many,  too,  become  indo- 
lently inclined,  in  regard  to  society ;  and,  rather  than  over- 
come their  aversion  to  the  fatigue  and  trouble  of  visiting 
or  receiving  company,  leave  their  children  to  form  intima- 
cies unknown  to  them,  and  perhaps  prejudicial  to  them- 
selves. 

Another  error  into  which  a  widowed  mother  is  liable  to 
fall,  is  that  of  over-indulgence  of  her  children.  To  guard 
against  this  maternal  weakness,  should  be  more  than  ever 
her  earnest  aim,  since  paternal  firmness  is  no  longer  at 
hand  to  counteract  its  injurious  effects.  Without  regard 
to  puerile  wishes  for  relaxation,  she  should  steadily  perse- 
vere in  the  plan  of  education  which  she  has  formed  for  her 
children,  preserving,  with  conscientious  care,  the  precious 
years  of  their  youth  from  waste  and  neglect. 

Thus,  the  widow  who  strives  to  fulfil  every  obligation 
to  her  children  has  no  sinecure  ;  but,  with  Heaven's  bless- 
ing on  her  endeavours,  she  will  have  her  day  of  compen- 
sation ;  her  success  will  be  honoured  in  the  world,  and 
affectionately  and  dutifully  acknowledged  by  her  children, 
who,  with  one  voice,  "will  rise  up  and  call  her  blessed." 
And  when  she  arrives  at  the  evening  of  her  life,  her 
serenity  of  mind  will  be  undisturbed  by  any  painful  retro- 
spections of  her  conduct,  while  pious  hope  will  predomi- 
nate in  her  soul  over  the  apprehension  and  dread  which 
human  weakness  will  ever  attach  to  the  awful  transition 
from  this  state  of  being  to  another. 

MRS.  L. — Old  age  to  the  young  is  a  formidable  antici- 


PLEASURES  OF  OLD  AGE.  375 

pation  ;  and  it  must  require  some  share  of  philosophy  to 
meet  without  dismay  the  approach  of  gray  hairs  and  every 
other  infirmity,— the  forebodings  of  life's  winter  and  its 
common  termination. 

MRS.  B. — It  is  an  encouragement  in  well-doing,  to  feel 
assured,  that  an  honourable  discharge  of  the  duties  incum- 
bent on  the  earlier  seasons  of  life  will  best  prepare  us  to 
encounter  old  age  and  its  attendant  infirmities.  Age, 
though  not  pleasing  in  contemplation,  has  its  privileges, 
honours,  and  enjoyments.  It  has,  also,  its  virtues  and  its 
vices. 

The  privileges  and  honours  of  the  aged  consist  in  immu- 
nity from  arduous  and  great  exertions ;  in  having  a  just 
claim  upon  the  services,  love,  duty,  and  reverence  of  those 
upon  whom  they  have  heretofore  conferred  the  benefit  of 
their  attention  and  cares,  and  whom  a  grateful  remembrance 
should  now  animate  to  discharge  in  full  the  weight  of 
obligation  whjch  they  owe  them. 

The  pleasures  of  an  old  age,  which  is  not  embittered 
by  any  peculiar  disease,  or  unusual  degree  of  infirmity, 
arise  chiefly  from  the  enjoyment  of  the  fruits  which  the 
virtuous  exertions  of  earlier  life  have  produced,  in  behold- 
ing the  prosperity  and  happiness  of  children,  and  in  the 
renewed  feelings  of  paternal  tenderness,  excited  by  grand- 
children, whose  vivacity  and  playfulness  forcibly  recall  to 
the  pleased  recollection  of  the  aged  the  infancy  and  child- 
hood of  their  own  immediate  offspring.  It  is  often  remarked 
that  the  affection  of  a  parent  is  not  only  renewed  towards 
our  grandchildren,  but  that  it  returns  even  with  greater 
force  than  it  originally  possessed ;  a  kind  provision  of 
nature,  which  assigns  to  every  period  of  life  those  dispo- 
sitions and  emotions  which  are  the  best  calculated  to  pro- 
mote enjoyment.  How  various  and  how  numerous  are  the 
instances  which  show  us  that  Providence,  far  from  intend- 
ing our  present  state  as  a  mere  scene  of  probation,  endows 
us  with  every  means  and  capacity  of  happiness,  did  not 


376  VIRTUES  OF  OLD  AGE. 

the  indulgence  of  passion  and  error  on  our  parts  oppose 
its  beneficent  designs !  To  infancy  is  allotted  that  vivid, 
but  transitory  sensibility  to  pain  and  to  pleasure,  which 
renders  the  trifles  that  make  the  sum  of  its  existence  a 
source  of  excitement,  without  which  neither  the  mental 
nor  the  bodily  powers  would  expand  and  strengthen.  In 
old  age,  we  are  mercifully  deprived  of  those  keen  emo- 
tions, which  our  frames,  far  from  requiring,  could  not  sup- 
port :  impressions,  though  permanent,  are  not  lively  ;  while 
a  placid  sense  of  the  comforts  immediately  around  us,  and 
an  exemption  from  those  anxieties  which  the  energetic 
and  the  busy  experience,  prove,  where  the  mind  has  not 
been  corroded  by  habitual  deviations  from  right,  the  fre- 
quent portion  of  declining  years. 

The  sources  of  enjoyment,  even  those  resulting  from  a 
mere  state  of  ease  and  repose,  are  common  to  most  old 
persons,  and  are  equivalent  to  the  active  pleasures  of  his 
past  life.  But  of  a  higher  nature  are  the  advantages  of  a 
well-stored  mind,  which  can  never  be  without  some  re- 
source for  its  occupation  and  enjoyment,  although  its  vigour 
may  have  been  diminished  by  the  effects  of  time.  1  re- 
member a  venerable,  cheerful,  contented  old  gentleman, 
who,  for  some  years  before  he  closed  a  life  of  eighty  years' 
length,  had  lost  his  sight,  and,  being  otherwise  infirm,  never 
left  his  room :  during  this  period,  his  chief  amusement 
was  to  repeat  aloud  Latin  verses,  which  had  been  some  of 
the  literary  acquisitions  of  his  youth. 

The  virtues  of  old  age  are,  like  its  pleasures,  passive. 
They  consist  in  good  humour  ;  kindness  of  heart,  inducing 
a  sympathy  with  others  in  those  enjoyments,  in  which  they 
can  in  reality  never  more  participate  ;  in  benevolence  and 
liberality,  when  the  means  for  the  exercise  of  these  vir- 
tues are  not  wanting ;  in  patience  and  resignation,  under 
all  its  trials  ;  and  in  keeping  the  mind  constantly  prepared 
to  yield  up  cheerfully  to  God  the  spirit  which  still  animates 
the  enfeebled  body. 


PARSIMONY  OP  OLD  AGE.  377 

A  temper  habitually  complaining,  is  a  defect  which  age 
increases.  It  is  true,  that  in  our  declining  years  we  must 
suffer,  and  complaint  is  the  voice  of  suffering ;  but  as  it 
does  not  alleviate,  it  ought  not  to  be  indulged*  I  can 
scarcely  imagine  any  affection  or  duteous  solicitude,  that 
will  not  be  disheartened  and  tempted  to  shrink  from  the 
performance  of  its  tender  offices,  if  the  last  years  of  aged 
relatives  are  spent  in  unvaried  complaints  and  repinings. 
A  discontented  and  querulous  temper  must,  also,  be  checked 
by  those  in  years,  who  wish  to  keep  alive  the  affection 
and  unwearied  alacrity  of  attention  among  their  friends. 
Elderly  people  naturally  regard  with  complacency  the 
usages  and  modes  of  life  to  which  they  were  formerly 
accustomed,  viewing  with  great  dissatisfaction  all  innova- 
tions of  the  present  time,  and  censuring,  without  sufficient 
consideration,  those  who  adopt  them.  They  forget  that 
time  has  effected  a  great  change  in  themselves,  as  well  as 
in  every  thing  else  ;  therefore,  as  change  is  a  thing  of 
course,  they  should,  if  they  cannot  accommodate  them- 
selves to  it,  regard  it  with  indifference,  as  a  circumstance 
which  may  not  long  affect  them.  Their  displeasure  and 
angry  expressions  are  ineffectual,  and,  therefore,  misplaced ; 
and  it  becomes  a  matter  both  of  prudence  and  of  duty  to 
cease  that  advice,  which  provokes  but  does  not  influence. 

Parsimony  is  another  defect  attributed  to  age.  At  a 
time  of  life  when  to  accumulate  wealth  seems  peculiarly 
unnecessary,  as  far  as  they  are  themselves  concerned,  the 
habit  of  hoarding  is  often  strengthened  to  an  excess,  and 
gives  the  aged  not  only  the  appearance  of  penury,  but 
even  the  endurance  of  some  of  its  hard  realities,  in  ad- 
dition to  all  the  bodily  suffering  they  have  to  undergo. 
"  We  brought  nothing  with  us  into  this  world,  and  we  can 
carry  nothing  out  with  us,"  is  a  truism  which  has  often 
struck  me,  in  its  simplicity,  as  setting  forth  the  folly  of 
amassing  wealth,  with  more  force  than  a  long  train  of  ar- 
guments. 


378  MAKING  A  WILL. 

It  is  not  probable  that  the  man  who  has  been  penurious 
in-his  youth  should  become  liberal  in  his  old  age,  when 
habit  involves  us  as  a  chain,  from  which  no  power  can 
induce  us  to  release  ourselves ;  but  it  is  surprising,  though 
common  and  vexatious,  to  observe  those  who  have  never 
been  remarkable  for  parsimony  before,  becoming  miserly 
in  the  extreme  as  they  approach  the  vale  of  years. 

It  has  been  said  that  women  are  less  addicted  to  this 
pitiful  vice  than  men,  most  of  whom  being  either  engaged, 
during  the  greater  part  of  their  lives,  in  acquiring  wealth 
or  in  the  care  of  property,  have  had  their  tendencies  to 
avarice  encouraged  by  the  anxiety  in  which  the  necessary 
charge  of  their  affairs  has  involved  them.  As  circum- 
stances generally  lead  women  rather  to  expend  wealth 
than  to  acquire  it,  their  tendency  is  to  prodigality  more 
than  to  avarice.  But  as  these  defects  seldom  suddenly 
enchain  the  affections  of  an  aged  person,  it  is  evident  their 
origin  must  have  been  earlier  in  the  day  of  life  ;  and  tho 
consequence  of  their  indulgence  in  the  previous  stages  of 
life  is  to  bring  on  an  old  age  unhonoured  and  despised. 

MRS.  L.— There  is  one  important  obligation  from  which 
women,  whether  young  or  old,  are  most  commonly  ex- 
empted,— I  mean,  making  a  will. 

MRS.  B. — Sometimes,  however,  it  does  occur  that 
women  have  property  at  their  own  disposal,  entirely  inde- 
pendent of  their  husbands.  When  they  have  the  power 
to  will  it,  they  should  not  defer  this  duty  until  alarmed  by 
illness ;  but  while  in  health,  their  judgment  vigorous,  and 
their  faculties  unimpaired  by  disease,  should  their  wills 
be  conscientiously  and  justly  made.  There  can  be  no 
doubt,  that  if  her  husband  be  living,  a  woman  should  leave 
the  use  of  her  property  to  him  during  his  life,  and  to  her 
children  subsequently ;  unless,  indeed,  any  serious  defects 
in  the  father  should  render  it  requisite  to  leave  his  children, 
if  possible,  independent  of  him. 

In  willing  property  among  children,  the  natural  desire 


BEQUEATHING  PROPERTY.  379 

of  a  parent  would  be  to  do  it  impartially ;  but  there  may 
be  circumstances  in  her  family,  which  may  render  it  ne- 
cessary to  vary  the  proportion  of  that  which  is  left  to  each 
individual.  If  one  child,  for  instance,  inherit  more  from 
the  father  than  the  other  children,  or  have  property  from 
other  sources,  it  will  be  only  justice  in  his  mother  to  lessen 
proportionably  his  share  in  her  property,  and  to  add  it  to 
those  of  the  other  less  favoured  children.  If,  too,  one  of 
the  children  should  labour  under  mental  or  bodily  infirmity, 
common  humanity,  independent  of  parental  affection, 
would  demand  that  the  share  of  so  helpless  a  mortal 
should,  if  possible,  be  ample  enough  to  supply  him  with 
all  essential  comforts,  and  to  secure  him  from  dependence. 
If  her  family  be  free  from  any  of  these  circumstances, 
justice  requires  an  equal  portion  of  her  property  to  be 
left  to  each  child,  with  a  similar  proportion  of  any  pro- 
perty of  which  she  may  have  a  reversionary  right. 

To  my  notions  of  parental  justice,  it  appears  seldom 
necessary,  and  often  cruel,  to  act  in  the  manner  which 
custom  frequently  sanctions,  with  regard  to  an  eldest  son, 
who  is  often  endowed  most  liberally  with  the  gifts  of  for- 
tune by  his  progenitor  ;  while  the  junior  part  of  the  family 
labour  under  the  difficulties  of  a  very  narrow  income,  or 
languish  in  dependence  on  the  great  man  of  the  family. 
The  better  sense  and  better  feeling  of  the  present  age  are 
gradually  abolishing  this  unfair  distinction,  unless  there  be 
a  large  family-residence  or  a  title  to  support.  Many  there 
are,  no  doubt,  who  have  been  induced  to  form  mer- 
cenary marriages,  and  have  been  driven  to  acts  of  ser- 
vility, by  the  unequal  and  unjust  distribution  of  paternal 
property. 

When  a  woman  has  no  children,  her  own  discretion  will, 
of  course,  guide  her  in  the  distribution  of  her  property; 
and  I  wish  it  more  frequently  occurred  than  it  does,  that 
the  necessity  or  merits  of  individuals  were  taken  more  into 
account,  by  those  who,  favoured  by  fortune,  have  it  in 


380  WHIMSICAL  BEQUESTS. 

their  power  to  raise  from  indigence  the  worthy  and  the 
suffering. 

But  I  am  sorry  to  observe,  that  our  sex  have  been  re- 
markable rather  for  the  abuse  than  for  the  proper  applica- 
tion of  property,  and  it  has,  with  too  much  appearance  of 
justice,  been  inferred,  that  power  is  ill-placed  in  the  hands 
of  a  woman.  We  must,  in  candour,  allow,  that,  if  we 
have  usually  more  disinterestedness  and  generosity  than 
men,  we  are  more  liable  to  be  governed  by  sudden  emo- 
tions, and  to  act  upon  impressions  of  anger  and  of  caprice. 
As  we  do  not  frequently  investigate  matters  with  coolness, 
or  weigh  opinions  with  deliberation,  we  are  likely  to  be 
the  dupes  of  flattery  and  of  deception.  Nay,  in  a  single 
state,  we  sometimes  indulge  attachments  of  a  most  extra- 
ordinary and  frivolous  nature  :  it  would  scarcely  be  credit- 
ed, were  it  not  proved  by  many  facts,  that  women  could 
place  their  affections  upon  cats,  dogs,  and  monkeys,  with 
such  unbounded  folly,. as  to  bequeath  large  sums  of  money 
for  their  support.  I  do  not  apprehend  that  the  other  sex, 
who  are  far  enough  from  being  infallible,  have  ever  com- 
mitted themselves  so  grossly,  or  that,  when  they  were 
conscious  how  many  intellectual  beings  might  be  benefited 
by  their  wealth,  they  would  bestow  it  on  objects  so  un- 
worthy. Folly,  however,  is  of  both  genders ;  and,  per- 
haps, shows  itself  more  frequently,  and  ostensibly  in  dis- 
posing of  what  requires  wisdom  and  equity  in  its  assign- 
ment, than  in  some  of  the  less  important  concerns  in  life. 
Every  one  knows  the  story,  I  fancy,  of  the  old  gentleman 
who  left  a  very  large  fortune  to  a  lady,  to  whom  he  had 
sat  opposite  for  some  years  at  the  opera.  Her  countenance 
had  not,  I  am  told,  one  prepossessing  expression ;  her  bene- 
factor knew  nothing  more  of  her  than  her  name  and  ap- 
pearance. The  bequest  did  not,  I  have  been  informed, 
devolve  upon  the  most  deserving  quarter  possible  ;  and 
the  old  gentleman,  to  satisfy  this  whim,  left  a  numerous 
tribe  of  poor  relations  destitute  and  disappointed.  Another 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  381 

old  man,  who  has  a  landed  property  of  12,000/.  a  year, 
lives  at  the  rate  of  2000/.,  and  disgraces  himself  by  disgust- 
ing acts  of  meanness  to  accumulate  a  hoard  of  wealth  ;— - 
and  for  whom  ?  A  strolling  player,  a  fortieth  cousin  whom 
he  has  never  seen,  who  is  scarcely  a  relation  in  more  than 
name,  and  who  will  probably  do  any  thing  but  follow  his 
example. 

Every  one,  before  she  attempts  to  make  her  will,  should 
examine  carefully  into  the  state  of  her  feelings,  that  she 
may  not  be  influenced  either  by  angry  feelings  or  even  by 
undue  partiality.  They  who  are  only  stewards  of  earthly 
blessings  here  below,  must  do  justly  while  living,  and,  as 
far  as  it  is  in  their  power,  should  ensure  justice  after  their 
death. 

I  must  now  say  farewell  to  you  for  a  season,  and  not, 
I  am  afraid,  before  you  are  heartily  weary  of  this  long 
discourse. 


CONVERSATION  II. 

RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. PRIVATE  DEVOTION. FAMILY-WOR- 
SHIP.  ATTENDING    CHURCH. VISITING    THE    SICK.— 

CHARITABLE  INSTITUTIONS. — DEATH-BEDS. 

MRS.  B. — Having  in  our  last  conversation  discussed  the 
importance  of  possessing  right  principles  of  conduct ;  and 
the  necessity  of  early  establishing  them  in  the  character, 
let  us  now  examine  how  they  may  be  best  maintained 
undisturbed  in  later  life,  by  our  wilful  inclinations  and 
desires.  Human  frailty  never  permits  virtue  alone  to  have 
such  entire  dominion  over  us  as  to  render  us  invulnerable 
to  temptation :  and  to  these  we  are  daily  liable  while  in 


382  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

pursuit  of  worldly  advantages  and  distinction.  Virtue  is 
not  always  sufficient  to  compel  the  sacrifice  of  these  ad- 
vantages, when  they  cannot  be  obtained  by  upright  con- 
duct. The  worldly  wise  may  act  well,  because  they  find 
it  most  expedient  in  the  furtherance  of  their  views ;  but 
to  the  mass  of  mankind  a  more  powerful  aid  to  virtue  is 
indispensable  :  religious  wisdom  and  religious  feeling  must 
be  its  sheet-anchor,  and  its  solace,  under  the  trials  and 
sacrifices  it  may  exact.  Upon  this  we  may  cast  our  tem- 
poral happiness,  with  more  chance  of  safety  ^  than  can  be 
even  hoped  for  by  enclosing  it  in  the  strongest  hold  of 
which  prudence  can  boast ;  and  also  by  this  only  can  we 
realize  that  hope  in  futurity  which  smooths  life's  dreariest 
passage,  and  renders  the  hour  of  its  close  more  blessed  than 
that  of  its  commencement. 

I  lament  my  inability  to  express  to  you,  as  forcibly  as 
the  subject  demands,  the  value  of  habitual  piety.  To 
regard  our  Creator  as  also  our  benefactor  and  friend,  to 
whom  we  refer  all  the  blessings  and  pleasures  we  enjoy; 
to  live  under  the  consciousness  of  His  omnipresence  ;  to 
rely  without  doubting,  that  so  long  as  we  continue  intent 
on  well-doing,  He  will  never  utterly  forsake  us ;  and  to 
have  our  hearts  always  prepared  to  worship,  and  our  lips 
to  praise  Him,  will  produce  so  pleasurable  and  composed 
a  state  of  mind,  that  to  neglect  its  attainment  can  only  be 
considered  as  an  act  of  self-denial  worthy  the  character  of 
human  folly. 

Some  minds  are  more  prone  to  religious  fervour  than  to 
that  tranquil  state  of  feeling  which  results  from  the  habit 
of  devotion,  but  to  this  it  is  not  comparable  :  fervour  may 
rouse  the  mind  to  greater  occasional  exertions,  and  these, 
by  producing  good  resolutions,  may  tend  to  lessen  an  at- 
tachment to  the  world ;  but  this  excitation  will  remit,  and 
during  the  intervals,  the  world  will  resume  its  influence 
over  the  heart.  The  religion,  however,  which  has  taken 
unremitting  hold  of  the  affections  will  maintain  over  them 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  383 

a  constant  and  almost  equal  government ;  and  even  should 
they  swerve  from  this  government,  and  transgress  in  duty, 
compunction  and  contrition  will  follow,  and  render  them 
less  liable  to  err  again. 

To  cultivate  habitual  piety  is  true  wisdom,  and,  although 
this  important  task  may  be  best  learned  early  in  life,  it  is 
not  at  any  season  unattainable.  In  its  commencement  we 
should  first  endeavour  to  acquire,  and  at  all  times  to  maiii' 
tain,  such  just  notions  of  the  nature  and  perfections  of  the 
Being  we  worship,  as  the  dim  sight  we  obtain  of  Him 
\vill  allow  us.  These  will  enable  us  to  perceive  that  our 
worship  is  rational,  and  calculated  to  advance  our  natures 
towards  the  Being  who  is  our  great  centre  of  perfection. 
We  shall  perceive,  that  to  obey  His  laws  is  not  only  to 
promote  our  own  individual  welfare,  but  also  to  enable  us 
to  communicate  good  to  others,  though  in  a  limited  degree, 
oven  as  He  imparts  good  to  all. 

Besides  satisfying  our  understanding  with  regard  to  the 
reasonableness  of  our  worship,  our  hearts  should  be  deeply 
impressed  with  a  sense  of  its  duty.  If  gratitude  be  due 
to  an  earthly  benefactor,  who  bestows  favours  sometimes 
from  ostentation,  from  secret  views  for  his  own  advantage 
or  credit,  arid  never,  perhaps,  with  perfect  disinterested- 
ness; if  ingratitude  to  such  a  benefactor  be  considered 
base  and  unworthy,  the  characteristic  of  degeneracy,  what 
epithet  can  be  given  to  ingratitude  towards  a  benefactor 
perfect  beyond  our  comprehension;  who,  knowing  our 
infirmities,  our  omissions,  and  transgressions  of  his  laws, 
yet  withholds  not  trom  us  the  hand  of  support,  mercifully 
extends  it  in  forgiveness,  and  sheds  upon  us  every  supply 
our  necessities  demand  ?  His  mercy  descends  upon  the 
just  and  upon  the  unjust. 

MRS.  L. — There  are  many  other  powerful  reasons,  I 
am  aware,  in  favour  of  the  duty  of  worshipping  our  Crea- 
tor, but  gratitude  is,  I  think,  that  which  warms  and  en- 
livens our  affection  towards  Him  more  than  any  other ; 


384  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

presenting  Him  to  us  in  the  endearing  but  reverential  light 
of  a  parent,  in  whom  we  behold  only  what  is  good,  and 
from  whom  we  experience  only  good. 

.  MRS.  B. — And  as  children  should  we  constantly  present 
ourselves  before  him  in  acts  of  devotion,  and  by  which 
means  only  can  these  filial  feelings  towards  Him  be  im- 
proved and  maintained.  Negligence  produces  habitual 
indifference  ;  a  common  but  fatal  state  of  mind  in  matters 
of  religion,  and  from  which  there  is  less  probability  of 
being  roused  to  a  sense  of  unworthiness,  than  there  is  of 
the  reformation  of  an  acknowledged  reprobate. 

A  spirit  of  devotion  must  be  cultivated  by  regular  and 
repeated  acts  of  worship,  and  these  should  take  place  at 
those  seasons  when  the  mind  is  least  in  danger  of  being 
unprepared  for  them,  from  any  vivid  impressions  made 
upon  it  by  the  circumstances  of  life.  Under  such  im- 
pressions religious  acts  would  be  liable  to  be  performed 
with  coldness,  instead  of  fervour,  and  with  a  distraction, 
instead  of  a  fixedness  of  thought  upon  the  one  great  ob- 
ject :  this  would  consist  in  the  service  of  the  lips  without 
the  co-operation  of  the  heart  and  mind,  and  thus  be  ren- 
dered useless  to  ourselves  and  unacceptable  to  Heaven. 

Stated  times  of  prayer  may  be  considered  as  a  mean  of 
inducing  an  habitual  return  of  the  thoughts,  to  the  subjects 
connected  with  religious  feelings ;  such  as  gratitude  and 
praise,  humility  and  submission.  Have  you  ever  read  the 
life  of  Sir  Henry  Wot  ton  ?  A  similar  reason  is  there  given 
for  always  praying  in  the  same  spot :  he  mentions  in  terms 
of  approbation  the  advice  given  by  a  monk  to  his  friend, 
"always  to  perform  his  customary  devotions  in  a  constant 
place,  because  in  that  place  we  usually  meet  those  very 
thoughts  which  possessed  us  at  our  last  being  there." 

Morning  and  evening  are  obviously  the  most  suitable 
seasons  for  religious  meditation  and  prayer.  Not  only  are 
they  epochs  in  our  lives  of  which  we  ought  to  take  ac- 
count, but  they  usually  find  us  in  a  better  frame  of  mind 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  385 

for  serious  reflections,  than  we  should  be  at  any  other  pe- 
riod of  the  day.  The  morning  meets  us  comparatively 
untroubled  by  worldly  perplexities,  but  needing  prepara- 
tion to  encounter  them;  and  the  evening  discovers  us 
alone  ;  the  world  closed  from  our  v-ew,  its  daily  business 
over,  and  all  its  frivolous  impressions  yielding  to  the 
sobering  powers  of  darkness  and  silence.  A  spirit  of 
piety  will  not,  however,  brook  the  restriction  of  its  services 
to  any  stated  times;  but,  as  circumstances  ari-e  to  give 
cause  to  gratitude,  or  to  awaken  grief  and  solicitude,  it 
will  either  breathe  forth  praise  or  homage,  or  will  bend 
its  spirit  in  cheerful  resignation  to  the  Divine  will. 

MRS.  L. — Though  you  properly  recommend  private 
devotion  to  be  frequent  and  at  stated  times,  1  hope  you 
do- not  regard  long-continued  prayers  as  necessary.  The 
warmth  of  heart  which  ought  to  accompany  us  throughout 
our  religious  services  requires  a  little  humouring ;  for,  if 
heavy  demands  be  made  upon  it  at  one  time,  it  will  desert 
us,  leaving  our  lips  moving,  while  our  minds  wander  into 
less  hallowed  regions,  and  in  closing  our  devotions  we  re- 
main dissatisfied  with  ourselves  from  the  consciousness  that 
our  lips  have  performed  an  act  in  which  the  thoughts  and 
feelings  scarcely  participated. 

MRS.  B. — There  is  in  general  more  danger  of  the  mind 
resting  satisfied  with  the  work  done,  without  requiring  any 
effect  from  it  on  the  dispositions  and  resolutions.  Your 
remarks  respecting  long  prayers  cannot  be  disallowed; 
and  our  great  Example  himself,  aware  of  our  inability  to 
pray  ardently  for  any  continued  length  of  time,  has  laid 
on  his  disciples  an  injunction  not  to  follow  the  example  of 
the  heathens,  who  think  they  shall  be  heard  for  their  much 
speaking ;  or  to  use  vain  repetitions,  which  extend,  but  do 
not  render  prayer  acceptable  and  efficacious.  Private  de- 
votion is  without  value,  unless  it  be  the  medium  of  a 
solemn  intercourse  of  the  soul  with  its  Maker,  with  whom 
33 


386  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES* 

(I  feel  assured)  a  few  minutes  spent  in  such  an  intercourse 
will  far  outweigh  hours  passed  in  repeating  unfelt  prayer. 

To  be  strict  in  the  performance  of  private  acts  of  de- 
votion is  a  duty  which  we  owe  to  ourselves :  to  observe 
family-worship  is  our  duty  to  others.  This,  also,  should 
be  performed  at  regular  and  stated  times,  with  seriousness 
and  warmth ;  the  service  should  be  short  but  impressive, 
adapted  equally  to  the  comprehension  of  the  young,  and 
of  the  dependants  whom  we  assemble  around  us  for  this 
solemn  purpose. 

Family-worship  is,  at  this  time,  in  great  disuse.  Ex- 
cuses are  easily  found  by  those  who  are  disinclined  to  the 
practice,  and  in  the  case  of  others,  causes  may  really 
exist  to  render  its  regular  observance  scarcely  feasible. 
Unless  it  be  done  regularly,  I  am  of  opinion  it  had  better 
be  omitted  altogether,  because  I  would  not  have  my  chil- 
dren or  servants  perceive,  that  a  business  of  such  import 
was  allowed  to  give  place  to  any  of  the  trivial  circum- 
stances of  life. 

But  before  the  practice  be  abandoned,  every  circum- 
stance should  be  well  weighed,  and  a  sincere  desire  enter- 
tained to  overcome  any  obstacles  which  may  oppose 
themselves. 

Each  family  may  be  considered  as  a  little  society,  united 
under  one  chief,  whose  regulations,  besides  regarding  the 
present  maintenance  of  good  order  within  the  domestic 
circle,  should  have  every  tendency  to  prepare  the  various 
individuals  of  which  it  is  composed  for  the  fulfilment  of 
the  laws  and  obligations  enacted  by  God  and  man,  and 
against  which  they  are  most  liable  to  rebel,  who  have  been 
least  accustomed  to  judicious  domestic  government.  To 
further  this  view,  they  who  preside  over  these  little  socie- 
ties, should  endeavour  to  present  in  themselves  models  of 
virtue  for  imitation ;  and  to  these  models  additional  beauty 
and  value  may  be  added,  by  unitorm  attention  to  devo- 
tional services.  Virtue  alone  will  always  receive  homage 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  387 

from  mankind,  because  it  sheds  beneficial  effects  upon  all 
•within  its  influence  ;  but,  if  firmly  united  to  religion,  if 
beheld  sublimely  holding  intercourse  with  Heaven,  and 
drawing  itself  nearer  to  perfection,  it  becomes  irresistible, 
enforcing  those  to  worship  and  obey,  who,  if  unaided  by 
an  example  so  exalted,  would,  perhaps,  have  walked 
through  life  in  error  and  disobedience. 

Family-worship,  strengthened  by  reverence  and  affection 
for  the  object  who  conducts  it,  cannot  fail  to  have  a  happy 
influence  over  all  who  regularly  participate  in  it.  It  fixes 
the  thoughts  and  unites  the  affections  of  all  upon  one  su- 
preme object  of  excellence ;  it  diminishes  the  distance 
between  man  and  man  ;  compels  the  highest  of  the  party 
present  to  acknowledge  a  common  level  with  all  his  fel 
low-worshippers,  and  raises  the  lowest  to  a  sense  of  the 
equality  he  shares  with  all  mankind  in  the  eyes  of  his 
Maker  ;  while  the  youth,  who,  during  childhood,  regarded 
his  parents  as  earthly  deities  to  whom  his  reverence  and 
obedience  were  due,  is  here  taught  his  responsibility  to  a 
supreme,  all-perfect  Father,  whose  eye  beholds  him  when 
other  eyes  are  closed,  and  to  whom  his  inmost  thoughts  are 
open.  All  thus  assembled,  utter  with  their  lips  the  same 
expressions  of  praise,  gratitude,  contrition,  humility,  and 
supplication.  All  have  enjoyed  blessings  in  common  ;  all 
have  need  for  pardon,  and  all  would  sink  into  the  dust,  if 
the  hand  of  mercy  and  support  were  for  an  instant  with- 
drawn from  them. 

As  I  have  before  said,  circumstances  may  prevent  the 
regular  discharge  of  family-worship  ;  when  this  is  the  case, 
it  is  even  more  incumbent  on  the  parent  and  mistress  to 
promote  in  other  ways  devotional  exercises,  both  in  her 
children  and  servants.  It  can  scarcely  be  impossible  for 
her  to  collect  her  young  ones  around  her  each  day,  to  hear 
them  repeat  their  little  prayers,  and  to  give  them  some 
suitable  portion  of  religious  instruction.  At  such  moments, 
too,  admonitions  against  falsehood,  disobedience,  and  ill- 


388  EELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

humour,  may  be  impressively  given,  and  the  infant  mind 
gradually  prepared  to  receive  the  awful  truth  of  the  om- 
nipresence of  an  invisible  God,  to  whom  he  will  be  here- 
after accountable. 

To  servants,  instruction  may  on  occasions  be  imparted  ; 
and  books  of  an  improving  nature  put  into  their  hands,  to 
fill  up  an  unoccupied  half  hour  :  these  should  be  calculated 
to  instil  into  them  religious  truths,  and  to  excite  in  them 
an  admiration  and  love  of  virtue.  The  mistress  of  every 
family  should,  also,  make  such  arrangements  among  her 
servants,  that  each  of  them  should  have  the  privilege  of 
attending  public  worship,  at  least  once  on  the  Sabbath  day. 
She  may  not  be  able  to  arrange  this,  without  involving 
some  sacrifice  of  her  own  time  ;  yet,  I  do  not  hesitate  to 
say,  it  is  a  sacrifice  she  ought  to  make,  with  a  view  and 
desire  to  promote  the  real  happiness  of  her  fellow-crea 
tures.  Even  should  it  oblige  her  to  a  less  frequent  attend- 
ance herself  on  divine  service,  she  should  consider  that 
although  it  may  be  of  as  much  importance  to  her,  as  to 
those  depending  on  her,  to  have  religious  feelings  often 
excited  within  her,  and  every  good  resolution  strengthened 
by  the  impression  of  solemn  truths  and  wise  reflections 
uttered  from  the  pulpit,  it  is  of  less  consequence  that  she 
should,  occasionally,  omit  the  duty  of  public  prayer,  who 
can  often  retire  to  her  closet,  and  there  uninterruptedly 
give  herself  up  to  private  devotion,  than  it  can  be  to  her 
servants,  who  would  be  liable  to  have  the  few  minutes  they 
might  wish  to  devote  to  Heaven  demanded  from  them  by 
those  to  whom  they  have  sold  their  time. 

Yet  servants  should  be  aware  when  a  mistress  makes 
such  a  sacrifice  for  their  good,  and  not  be  permitted  to 
imagine,  that  while  urging  them  to  the  constant  attend- 
ance on  public  worship,  she  supinely  omits  it  herself. 

MRS.  L. — I  have  heard  several  persons  declare,  that  in 
attending  public  service,  they  spend  their  time  less  satis- 
factorily to  themselves  than  they  should  have  done  in  pri- 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  389 

vate  devotion.  They  say  that  in  public  there  are  so  many 
objects  which  attract  attention,  and  turn  the  thoughts  from 
the  serious  purpose  in  view :  sometimes  carelessness  and 
indifference  are  evinced  in  the  congregation  to  the  whole 
ceremony,  and  the  observation  of  this  is  enough  to  infect 
with  similar  apathy.  They  do,  however,  acknowledge 
the  necessity  of  setting  an  example  of  attention  to  the 
public  services  of  religion,  even  when  they  are  conscious 
that  their  influence  in  society  is  very  trifling  ;  perhaps  cir- 
cumscribed by  the  walls  of  their  own  houses,  and  affecting 
none  but  their  own  children  and  dependants.  What 
other  arguments  may  be  advanced  to  favour  the  constant 
attendance  of  public  worship,  when  opposed  by  the  con- 
viction of  the  greater  efficacy  to  one's  self  of  private  de- 
votion and  meditaiion  ? 

MRS.  B. — Besides  the  duty  of  affording  a  right  example 
as  far  as  its  influence  extends,  it  is  of  great  consequence  to 
ourselves  to  obtain  the  complete  command  over  our 
thoughts,  and  this  would  enable  us  also  to  disarm  trivial 
impressions  of  their  power  to  divert  us  at  any  time  from  a 
serious  and  worthy  employment  of  our  minds.  Unless 
this  command  is  gained,  neither  in  public  nor  in  retire- 
ment shall  we  find  incentives  wanting  to  disturb  a  devout 
frame  of  mind,  and  to  render  it  incapable  of  praying  m 
spirit  and  in  truth.  It  may  be  difficult  to  obtain  this  com- 
mand over  our  thoughts  in  a  place  where  many  objects 
oppose  themselves  to  it ;  but,  as  it  is  not  impracticable,  we 
can  draw  from  it  no  sufficient  reason  for  absenting  our- 
selves from  public  worship. 

I  am  also  of  opinion,  that  although  the  antiquity  of  a 
custom  cannot  always  be  advanced  as  an  argument  in 
favour  of  its  continuance,  (because  we  know  that  many 
ancient  usages  are  "  more  honoured  in  the  breach  than 
the  observance,")  yet  the  practice  of  assembling  ourselves 
together  on  the  Christian  Sabbath  is  sufficiently  autho- 
rized, by  its  commencement  being  almost  coeval  with  the 
33* 


390  EELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

Christian  revelation,  although  it  may  not  be  expressly 
commanded  by  the  great  promulgator  of  that  revelation, 
A  practice  first  commenced  by  his  apostles,  whom  he  ap- 
pointed to  continue  the  great  work  he  had  begun,  in  re- 
forming mankind  by  the  establishment  of  a  pure  system  of 
morality,  on  a  new  religious  faith,  ought  to  be  held  in 
peculiar  reverence,  and  zealously  observed  by  later  Chris- 
tians ;  even  supposing  that  it  began  only  as  an  act  of 
commemoration  of  the  resurrection,  and  without  regard 
to  any  beneficial  tendency  it  might  have  in  promoting  the 
great  end  in  view  ;  which,  however,  could  not  have  been 
overlooked  in  the  establishment  of  our  religious  worship. 
One  of  the  early  Christian  fathers  says,  that  "  a  true 
Christian,  according  to  the  commands  of  Christ,  observes 
the  Lord's  day,  by  casting  out  all  evil  thoughts  and  enter- 
taining all  good  ones,  and  glorifying  the  resurrection  of 
the  Lord  on  that  day."  And,  almost  without  examining 
the  effect  of  a  religious  public  observance  of  the  Sabbath, 
we  feel  an  assurance  within  our  heario,  that  these  social 
services  are  reasonable  as  well  as  beneficial  to  us,  and, 
therefore,  acceptable  to  God.  Many  of  the  feelings  which 
are  excited  by  the  union  of  a  family  in  prayer,  are  still 
more  expanded  within  us  when  we  join  a  larger  circle  of 
fello  w-worsh  ippers. 

We  can  scarcely  enter  a  building  consecrated  to  holy 
purposes,  without  experiencing  an  impression  of  awe  on 
our  minds,  calculated  to  prepare  us  for  the  reception  of 
solemn  and  important  truths,  and  to  raise  within  us  those 
pious  emotions  of  veneration  and  gratitude,  which  tend  to 
purify  the  heart  from  the  corruptions  which,  in  its  earthly 
intercourse,  it  daily  imbibes.  Here  the  value  and  advan- 
tages of  temporal  distinctions  are  for  a  time  suspended ; 
here  all  who  meet  together  to  bend  before  the  throne  of 
grace  are  on  one  level ;  rank  and  wealth  receive  no  favour, 
poverty  and  degradation  experience  no  neglect.  None 
here  can  close  their  hearts  to  the  conviction,  that  God  ro~ 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  391 

gards  not  the  outward  man,  but  will  exalt  and  comfort  the 
meek  and  humble  minded,  will  prosper  or  support  the 
Tirtuous,  will  bless  the  benevolent  whether  attired  in  the 
richest  or  the  humblest  garb ;  whether  the  possessor  of  a 
palace,  or  only  the  tenant  of  a  cottage.  All  are  conscious, 
that  to  encourage  them  in  well  doing,  they  are  sharers  of 
the  same  promise  of  acceptance  in  futurity,  and  that  to 
deter  them  from  iniquity,  they  are  all  equally  liable  to  the 
same  threat  of  retribution. 

In  favour  of  attendance  on  public  worship,  we  must  not 
omit  to  mention,  what  occurs  frequently  to  every  one  of 
us ;  a  forcible  impression  made  occasionally  on  the  mind, 
by  a  happy  illustration  in  the  pulpit  harangue.  We  may, 
generally,  hear  observations  and  truths,  which  do  not 
greatly  affect  us,  because  our  minds  are  daily  accustomed 
to  regard  similar  truths  and  reflections ;  and  we  may  often 
depart  from  the  house  of  God,  without  imagining  ourselves 
greatly  benefited  by  the  discourses  to  which  we  have  been 
auditors  ;  but,  at  other  times,  we  leave  it  with  hearts 
exalted  by  human  eloquence  towards  Heaven,  and  with 
minds  enlightened  by  human  wisdom  in  religious  truths, 
to  which  we  had  previously  been  supine  or  unconscious. 

MRS.  L. — Instances  are  not,  I  believe,  wanting  in  proof 
of  the  very  decided  effects  which  may  be  wrought  by 
pulpit  eloquence  upon  those  whose  lives  and  opinions  may 
not  previously  have  evinced  the  influence  of  any  religious 
or  moral  principles,  and  who  may  have  entered  the  place 
of  worship  intending  "  to  scoff,"  but  "  remained  to  pray." 
An  occasional  instance  of  this  kind  will  alone  throw  weight 
in  the  scale  of  good  effected  by  public  worship,  and  espe- 
cially if  we  recollect  that  there  is  more  joy  in  Heaven  over 
one  sinner  that  repenteth,  than  over  ninety  and  nine  that 
need  no  repentance. 

MRS.  B. — Let  us,  also,  remember  the  lot  of  thousands 
of  people,  whose  daily  labours  and  pursuits  deny  them 
the  power  of  regular  attention  to  religious  subjects,  and 


392  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

who  would  be  even  more  inclined  than  they  now  are  to 
neglect  this  appropriation  of  one  day  in  seven  to  public 
worship,  if  the  example  of  their  superiors  likewise  bespoke 
indifference  or  contempt  of  this  sacred  day ;  and  if  left 
to  themselves,  undirected  and  uninstructed  in  religious 
wisdom,  by  those  who  now  seek  to  guide  them  in  the. 
way  of  truth,  they  would  be  in  imminent  danger  of  falling 
into  the  errors  of  superstition  or  fanaticism,  or  of  becoming 
totally  indifferent  to  their  only  true  and  imperishable 
good,  losing  all  moral  restraint  over  their  evil  propensities. 
They  who  raise  doubts  as  to  the  advantages  of  spending 
portions  of  the  Sabbath  in  acts  of  public  devotion,  should 
also  suggest  a  more  rational  and  profitable  mode  of  em- 
ploying the  time,  equally  adapted  for  the  benefit  of  every 
class  of  society;  equally  calculated  to  awaken  the  indif- 
ferent from  a  state  of  lethargy  on  the  point  of  being  fatal, 
and  to  rouse  the  sinner  into  repentance  and  newness  of 
life.  The  discovery  of  such  a  plan  would  undoubtedly 
confer  as  high  an  obligation  on  mankind,  as  human  wisdom 
and  ingenuity  have  ever  yet  achieved.  But,  until  this 
discovery  has  been  made,  may  all  Christians,  in  humble 
imitation  of  apostolic  times,  assemble  themselves  on  the 
first  day  of  each  week,  to  petition,  praise,  and  worship 
their  common  Father  and  Benefactor ! 

I  have,  I  believe,  in  a  former  conversation,  remarked  to 
you  the  duty  of  visiting  the  poor,  and  of  informing  yourself 
personally  of  their  wants  and  distresses.  The  advantages  of 
this  personal  investigation  are  equally  important  to  yourself 
and  the  objects  seeking  relief,  diminishing  the  probability 
of  your  being  deceived  by  their  representations,  and  of 
their  being  injured  or  neglected  by  the  partial  and  imper- 
fect reports  of  those  whom  you  may  employ  to  examine 
into  their  situation.  By  visiting  the  habitations  of  the 
poor,  you  give  them  an  incentive  to  cleanliness  in  their 
houses,  and  to  neatness  in  their  own  persons  and  in  those 
of  their  children.  A  little  commendation  bestowed  on 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  393 

them,  when  any  exertions  of  this  kind  are  apparent,  is 
almost  sufficient  encouragement  to  secure  their  perseverance 
in  it ;  as  I  believe  the  lower  class  are  always  solicitous  to 
obtain  the  approbation  of  their  superiors,  and  particularly 
when  they  are  distinguished  mo?e  by  superiority  in  virtue, 
than  by  the  casualty  of  birth. 

MRS.  L. — I  scarcely  know  in  what  manner  we  can  be 
more  serviceable  to  our  poorer  fellow-creatures,  than  by 
paying  attention  to  them  when  they  are  ill.  At  such  times, 
I  have  generally  found  that  they  are  extremely  ignorant 
and  prejudiced  ;  and  often  that  they  give  themselves  and 
their  friends  up,  in  the  spirit  of  Mahometanism,  to  the  full 
force  of  disease,  without  even  a  bare  attempt  to  subdue 
it  by  any  of  the  means  within  their  power.  At  the  village 

of  B ,  where  I  was  visiting  some  time  since,  I  met 

with  an  instance  of  this  in  a  woman,  whose  child  had  an 
attack  of  inflammation  of  the  Jungs.  For  two  or  three 
days  she  had  kept  the  child  on  her  knee,  bemoaning  over 
it  with  all  a  mother's  tenderness,  but  without  a  mother's 
exertions  and  expedients  to  relieve  its  sufferings.  The 
possibility  of  its  life  being  saved  never  seemed  to  have 
entered  her  head:  and  when  the  benevolent  Mrs.  M., 
who  accidently  heard  of  the  child's  situation,  came  to  ad- 
minister medicines,  and  to  apply  a  blister  and  leeches  to 
the  chest,  the  mother  expostulated  on  the  barbarity  of  tor- 
menting the  little  sufferer,  and  declared  her  conviction  that 
its  death  would  be  only  hastened  by  the  measures  about 
to  be  adopted.  Notwithstanding  the  ignorant  remon- 
strances of  the  parent,  Mrs.  M.  persevered  ;  saw  every 
thing  done  for  the  child  that  could  tend  to  remove  the 
disease,  and  had  the  gratification  of  seeing  the  success  of 
her  endeavours  in  the  restoration  of  the  infant's  health ; 
but,  I  am  afraid,  the  attempt  to  overcome  the  prejudices 
of  the  parent  was  not  so  easily  achieved. 

MRS.  B. — This  is  not  a  solitary  instance  of  the  mischief 
which  ignorance  and  prejudice  may  cause,  in  the  manage- 


3*J4  RELIGIOUS  DUTIES. 

ment  of  invalids  among  the  poor  ;  and  in  rendering  your 
knowledge  useful  to  them  at  such  seasons,  you  do  then< 
more  essential  service  than  by  bestowing  upon  them  money 
even  to  a  great  extent,  which  would  only  enable  them  to 
pursue  the  suggestions  of  their  ignorance.  For  instance, 
it  would  be  doing  them  no  service  to  enable  them  to 
indulge  their  partiality  for  empirics,  which  there  is  every 
reason  to  believe  has  been  fatal  to  thousands  ;  nor  are  they 
to  be  persuaded  that  the  nostrums  sent  to  them  from  such 
sources,  if  not  seriously  injurious,  have  no  other  virtue  ia 
them,  than  what  they  derive  from  the  faith  with  which 
they  are  taken,  Next  to  this  reliance  on  the  mysterious 
skill  of  the  quack  doctor,  is  their  false  notion  that  from 
the  quantity  of  food  and  drink  which  the  invalid  takes, 
benefit  may  be  derived.  They  are  horror-struck  with  the 
inhumanity  of  the  advice  given  to  keep  the  patient  on  the 
sparest  diet,  no  argument  convincing  them,  that  the  fever 
they  unwittingly  encourage  is  more  destructive  to  the 
patient's  strength,  than  would  be  whole  days  of  water- 
gruel  diet.  Wine,  too,  is,  in  their  estimation,  a  panacea, 
a  specific  for  every  opposite  disease ;  and  if  they  have 
the  power  to  obtain  it,  no  prohibition  of  the  medical 
attendant  will  prevent  its  being  given  ;  this  I  have  often 
known  to  be  the  case.  Another  fault  of  ignorance  is  the 
desponding  tone  with  which  this  class  of  people  always 
address  their  invalids  ;  never  keeping  danger  out  of  their 
view,  nor  in  any  case  allowing  hope  to  predominate  over 
fear,  thus  adding  depressed  spirits  to  bodily  disease.  Under 
such  mismanagement  of  both  body  and  mind,  a  recovery 
from  a  serious  illness  is  scarcely  less  than  a  miracle. 

On  all  these  points,  and  on  those  respecting  cleanliness 
about  the  invalid,  keeping  the  air  of  the  room  as  pure  as 
it  can  be,  not  too  heated  or  confined,  your  attention  may 
be  most  usefully  bestowed,  and,  with  God's  blessing,  may 
be  instrumental  in  restoring  to  health  and  usefulness  many 
an  honest  member  of  the  community, 


RELIGIOUS  DUTIES.  395 

f'  1  have,  I  believe,  also  formerly  recommended  you  to 
visit  and  superintend,  as  much  as  you  are  able,  the  chari- 
table institutions  to  which  you  are  a  subscriber.  Some  of 
these,  it  is  true,  are  managed  by  committees,  but  the  regu- 
lation of  others  may  depend  much  upon  the  superintend- 
ence of  subscribers  generally.  This  is  particularly  the 
case  with  charity  schools,  in  which  order  and  regularity 
are  essential,  and  are  better  maintained  by  the  vigilant 
eye  of  a  superior  than  by  reprehension  or  punishment.  It 
is,  too,  a  sort  of  duty  each  subscriber  owes  to  herself,  as 
well  as  to  those  who,  for  the  purpose  of  doing  good  exten- 
sively, yet  in  the  most  economical  manner,  are  associated 
with  her,  to  bestow  some  portion  of  time  and  attention  to 
the  concerns  and  management  of  such  institutions,  that 
there  may  be  as  little  power  as  possible,  in  those  more 
immediately  employed  in  them,  to  waste  or  misapply  the 
funds,  or  by  neglect  to  lessen  the  good  which  might  other- 
wise be  effected.  To  omit  this  attention  is  to  be  idly 
charitable,  and  only  one  degree  removed  from  being  alto- 
gether devoid  of  benevolent  feelings. 

MRS.  L. — Have  you  not  frequently  heard  complaints 
made  of  remissness  in  paying  up  subscriptions  ?  This  ap- 
pears to  me  to  be  very  reprehensible.  I  should  certainly 
prefer  to  withdraw  my  subscription  from  any  charity,  the 
moment  I  found  it  inconvenient  to  be  punctual  in  payment, 
rather  than  have  it  appear,  ostentatiously,  on  the  list, 
while  conscious  that  I,  with  many  others,  was  suffering 
the  establishment  to  languish  for  want  of  the  promised 
supplies. 

MRS.  B. — Whoever  is  remiss  in  such  payments,  from 
whatever  cause  it  may  arise,  is,  in  my  opinion,  chargeable 
with  a  breach  of  faith.  Though  bound  by  no  legal  tie, 
yet,  as  long  as  your  name  appears  as  a  subscriber  to  any 
institution,  you  are  pledging  yourself  to  support  it  in  con- 
cert with  others,  and  the  sum  you  have  granted  for  that 
end  you  cannot  with  credit  hold  back  a  day  after  it 


396  VISITING  THE  SICK. 

becomes  due.  One  individual  may  fancy  his  subscription 
too  trifling  to  cause  inconvenience  if  withheld ;  but,  it 
more  of  the  subscribers  reasoned  in  the  same  manner,  the 
interests  of  the  institution  would  be  seriously  injured  : 
expenses  being  probably  entered  into  proportioned  to  the 
sum  subscribed.  Whether  this  remissness  spring  from 
negligence  or  from  extravagance,  it  is  equally  reprehensi- 
ble ;  and  even  if  it  proceed  from  poverty,  still  it  is  not  to 
be  justified,  because  it  is  folly  in  the  poor  to  attempt  to 
vie  with  the  rich,  either  in  modes  of  living,  or  in  habits  of 
liberality ;  as,  in  either  case,  such  an  attempt  must  lead 
them  to  acts  of  injustice  and  meanness,  which  discretion 
in  the  ordering  of  their  concerns  would  have  prevented. 

But  I  am  more  desirous,  at  this  time,  to  point  out 
to  you  the  benefit  which  may  arise  to  yourself  from 
visiting  your  sick  neighbours,  and  from  interesting  your- 
self in  the  management  of  the  charitable  institutions 
of  which  you  are  a  member,  than  to  enlarge  upon  the 
good  which  may  be  effected  to  others  by  your  exertions  ; 
because  we  have  before  conversed  together  on  similar 
topics. 

MRS.  L. — I  am  most  anxious  to  hear  your  opinions  on 
this  subject.  It  is  a  duty  from  which  ladies  too  often 
shrink,  under  the  excuse  of  the  danger  of  the  influence  of 
contagion  to  which  it  exposes  them. 

MRS.  B. — That  is  an  alarm  more  imaginary  than  real. 
To  visit  the  bed  of  sickness  and  poverty  united  affords  an 
impressive  lesson  even  to  an  unreflecting  mind.  Sufferings, 
unalleviated  by  the  comforts  which  competency  bestow;?, 
cannot  fail  to  awaken  the  tenderest  feelings  of  compassion 
within  us ;  and,  at  the  same  time,  grateful  sentiments  will 
naturally  arise,  when  we  compare  the  superior  mercies 
which  we  enjoy,  with  the  deprivations  of  health  and  the 
necessitous  state  we  behold  in  others.  If  we  have,  at  any 
time,  suffered  ourselves  to  repine,  or  to  indulge  an  impa- 
tience of  temper  when  undergoing  temporary  affliction, 


VISITING   THE   SICK.  397 

no  volumes  that  we  can  peruse  will  so  forcibly  arouse  us 
to  the  sense  of  our  error,  as  the  spectacle  which  indigence 
presents  to  us,  when  it  is  conjoined  with  bodily  infirmity. 
In  remembering  our  happier  lot,  we  cannot  refrain  from 
asking  ourselves, "  Are  we  more  worthy  than  these  sufferers, 
since  our  condition  is  so  much  superior  ?"  The  question 
is  rarely  answered  with  selt-satisfaction.  Conscience  tells 
us,  that  discontent  has  often  pervaded  our  hearts  ;  and  that, 
when  thwarted  in  some  petty  scheme  or  desire,  we  have 
indulged  in  useless  repining.  I  have  never  yet  visited  the 
indigent  sick,  nor  witnessed  any  of  the  trials  of  poverty, 
without  experiencing  the  upbraidings  of  my  heart,  for  the 
unwilling  submission  with  which  I  have  met  the  few  trials 
that  have,  hitherto,  marked  my  life  ;  nor  without  forming 
resolutions  for  the  better  ordering  of  my  temper  and  dis- 
position in  future  ;  and  I  am  persuaded  that  you,  too,  would 
never  regret  visiting  these  scenes  of  affliction,  or  any  of 
those  receptacles  which  benevolence  has  provided  for  the 
relief  of  the  diseased,  or  for  the  support  of  the  infirm, 
even  though  they  tacitly  admonish  and  reprehend  you  for 
impatience  under  your  own  sufferings. 

While  these  scenes  reprove  the  children  of  prosperity, 
they  are  a  balm  to  those  who  are  grieving  under  the  trials 
to  which  "all  flesh  is  heir."  The  benevolent  satisfaction 
which  springs  from  the  desire  to  comfort  and  alleviate  the 
afflictions  of  others  removes  a  portion  of  our  own,  and  aids 
our  exertions  to  resume  the  usual  equanimity  of  our  spirits. 

If,  in  the  midst  of  joy,  surrounded  by  all  the  delights  of 
prosperity,  such  melancholy  scenes  present  themselves  to 
your  view,  do  not  turn  from  them  with  disgust,  but  allow 
them,  for  a  time,  to  temper  the  gayety  of  your  heart,  and 
to  cast  a  serious  colouring  over  your  thoughts  .  they  will 
check  the  feverishness  of  prosperity,  as  cooling  showers 
temper  summer  heats.  They  will  remind  you  of  the  pre- 
cariousness  of  health,  and  of  the  shortness  of  life ;  that 
neither  the  one  nor  the  other  should  be  trifled  away,  nor 
34 


398  DEATH-BEDS. 

wasted  on  sublunary  pleasures ;  and  they  will  admonish 
you  to  prepare  for,  and,  meekly,  to  endure  interruptions  to 
the  one,  and  teach  you  to  adorn,  gracefully,  with  sober 
virtues,  the  decline  of  the  latter. 

The  scene  which  makes  the  most  vivid  impression  on  our 
hearts,  although  even  that  is  but  temporary,  is  that  which 
the  last  moments  of  human  existence  present  to  us.  A 
mournful  and  awful  scene  it  is!  The  frame  which  so 
lately  was  strong  and  vigorous,  animated  by  a  spirit,  per- 
haps, too  proud  of  its  powers,  is  now  motionless  arid  pros- 
trate :  the  countenance,  which  beamed  with  intelligence 
and  human  joy,  is  now  either  struggling  with  nature's  last 
agonies,  or  fixed  in  death.  Such  a  spectacle,  this  change 
from  life  to  death,  will  not  suffer  the  mind  of  the  beholder 
to  remain  passive,  even  though  apparently  absorbed  in 
grief;  but,  while  the  eyes  witness  this  termination  of  an 
earthly  course,  the  mind  speaks  within  us  the  solemn  truth, 
that  sooner  or  later  death  will,  also,  seal  our  eyes,  will 
arrest  us  in  the  midst  of  our  worldly  pleasures,  will  destroy 
our  schemes  of  ambition  and  aggrandizement,  and  will 
render  us,  in  our  turn,  unconscious  warnings  to  others,  of 
the  extremity  to  which  they  must  one  day  arrive. 

The  dying  man,  if  his  consciousness  remained,  would, 
perhaps,  tell  you,  that  from  the  hour  of  his  birth  until  the 
very  term  of  his  existence,  he  had  never  truly  estimated 
the  things  of  this  life  :  that  his  days  had  been  swallowed 
up  in  an  eager  pursuit,  an  unwearied  search  of  supposed 
blessings,  and  that,  until  this  moment,  he  was  not  aware 
that  he  had  been  grasping  at  bubbles,  which  now  appeared 
bursting  to  his  view  and  vanishing  into  airy  nothing, 
like  dreams  which  pass  away  from  the  imagination  as  soon 
as  the  slumbers  of  the  night  are  shaken  off",  and  the  mind 
recalled  to  the  active  employments  of  the  world :  that, 
now,  with  his  sole  view  turned  towards  eternity,  amaze- 
ment overpowers  him  at  the  recollection  of  the  short- 
sightedness with  which  he  had  journeyed  through  life ; 


DEATH-BEDS.  399 

— at  the  false  views  which  had  deluded  him,  and  the 
unavailing  cares  and  anxieties  with  which  he  had  been 
tormented.  His  possessions  now  appear  useless  to  him, 
his  rank  is  of  no  value — his  hopes  of  happiness  in  this 
world  are  unrealized,  and  his  prospects  in  a  future  dubious 
and  obscure. 

At  such  an  awful  moment,  no  remembrance  can  solace 
him,  which  does  not  remind  him  of  the  few  bright  spots 
in  his  life,  in  which  virtuous  resolves  triumphed  over 
temptation,  and  benevolence  over  self-interest ;  or,  in  which 
reverence  and  love  to  God  surpassed  his  attachment  to  the 
world  and  its  finite  concerns. 

MRS.  L. — Such  scenes  are  generally  supposed  to  be  too 
powerful  for  the  female  character  to  witness ;  and  young 
ladies,  in  particular,  are  hurried  from  them.  How  far  is 
this  proper,  since  a  period  must  arrive  when  they  must 
necessarily  be  called  to  share  in  them,  either  as  wives  or 
as  mothers  ? 

MRS.  B. — It  is  very  improper.  The  awful  scene  of 
death,  whether  it  occur  among  our  nearest  relatives,  or  is 
more  remotely  connected  with  us,  cannot  fail  to  awaken 
us,  for  a  time,  from  earthly  dreams,  and  to  fix  our  desires 
upon  Heaven.  Its  most  powerful  and  salutary  effects  are, 
however,  felt  in  the  former  case,  when  the  chastening 
hand  of  heavenly  wisdom  sees  it  right  to  withdraw  the 
parent  from  his  children,  at  the  period  when,  to  human 
wisdom,  his  life  is  most  important  to  them :  or,  as  in  other 
instances,  when  the  parent  mourns  over  the  lovely  branch, 
which  disease  has  severed  from  him,  and,  perhaps,  left 
him  without  another  object  of  interest  to  attach  him  to 
life.  To  inquire  why  such  events  are  ordained  is  vain ; 
but  to  allow  them  their  intended  influence  over  the  heart 
and  mind,  is  the  part  of  wisdom.  This  influence  softens 
the  heart  towards  all  suffering  humanity,  and  leads  us  to 
resign  the  will  and  humble  the  spirit  towards  God. 


400  CONCLUSION. 

IT  is  now  time,  my  dear  friend,  that  we  should  sepa- 
rate. The  conversations  we  have  held  together  have 
afforded  me  satisfaction ;  and  although  your  experience 
may,  hereafter,  serve  you  much  better  than  the  opinions  I 
have  here  advanced,  or  than  the  information  which,  on  the 
various  concerns  of  married  life,  1  have  endeavoured  to 
afford  you  can  supply — although  your  practice  may  differ 
much  from  that  which  I  have  advised,  yet  I  shall  still  have 
reason  to  feel  gratified,  if  I  have  not  led  you  into  error  on 
any  important  point :  and  if  I  have,  only  in  the  slightest 
degree,  been  a  means  of  directing  you  into  the  paths  of 
propriety,  discretion,  wisdom,  and  piety,  my  expectations 
will  be  surpassed ;  and  the  very  summit  of  my  ambition 
attained.  Farewell. 


INDEX. 


Accomplishments,  folly  of  neglecting,  319. 

Accouchement,  see  Lying-in-room,  276. 

Acquaintance,  selection  of,  32.  Gossiping,  35.  Love  of  scan- 
dal not  to  be  encouraged  among  our,  ib.  Male,  36.  Flatter- 
ers to  be  shunned  as,  38. 

Afternoon,  occupations  for,  318. 

Age,  old,  virtues  and  peculiarities  of,  374 — 378. 

Alicia,  story  of,  34. 

Amusements,  331. 

Art,  collections  of  works  of,  96. 

Arrow-Root,  267. 

Acidity,  in  infants,  294. 

Attention  to  personal  appearance  recommended,  92 

B 

Bacon,  194. 

Balls,  see  evening  parties,  81. 
Balm,  mint,  269. 
Bargain-making,  160. 
Barley-water,  266. 
Bed-room  furniture,  180. 
Beef-tea,  270. 

Benevolence,  necessity  in  cultivating,  97.     Impropriety  of  in- 
discriminate, 99. 
Bequests,  whimsical,  380. 
Biscuits,  for  young  children,  300. 
Blister,  272. 

Bowels,  inflammation  of,  234. 
Bricks,  box  of,  as  an  amusement  for  children,  155. 

c 

Cards,  and  conversaziones,  see  Evening  Parties,  86 — 88. 
Carp  and  tench,  198. 
Carving,  directions,  for,  69 — 78. 
Charity  and  benevolence,  97. 

Charity,  a  religious  duty,  395.     Subscriptions  to  a,  tft. 
Chicken  tea,  270. 

Child-birth,  see  Lying-in-room,  276. 
34* 


402  INDEX. 

Children,  general  remarks  on  the  maladies  incident  to,  224. 
The  health  of,  how  promoted,  ib.  Duration  of  sleep,  neces- 
sary for,  226.  Cleanliness  in,  ib.  Chillness  in  the  extremi- 
ties of,  227.  Washing  the  heads  of  young,  227, 228.  Regu- 
larity in  meals  of,  228.  Proper  food  for,  229.  Promotion 
of  cheerfulness  and  good  humour  in,  231.  General  rules  for 
the  avoidance  of  diseases  in,  232.  Medical  advice  for,  234. 
Measles,  ib.  inflammation  of  the  bowels,  ib.  Pleurisy,  ib. 
Putrid  sore  throat,  ^35.  Hooping-cough,  ib.  Danger  of 
employing  ignorant  practitioners  for,  ib.  Conduct  during 
the  illness  of,  235, 236.  Difficulties  in  nursing,  240.  Spoon 
for  sick,  241.  Attention  to  the  state  of  the  bowels  of,  243. 
Room  inhabited  by  young,  292.  295.  Instruction  of,  314. 

China,  old,  collection  of,  96.  188.     Cement  for,  191. 

Clothes,  and  family  linen,  see  Linen,  157. 

Cod,  helping  to,  78.     Choice  of,  194. 

Confinement,  see  Lying-in-room,  276.  Number  of  persons  ID 
room  at  time  of,  283. 

Convalescence,  treatment  at  time  of,  239.  246. 

Conversation,  general  observations  on,  325,  326. 

Convulsions,  297. 

Cook,  qualifications  of,  128—134.  Wages  of,  see  Servants,  and 
Wages,  117. 

Cookery  books,  217. 

Correspondence,  28.  Extensive,  discouraged,  29.  Conceal- 
ment of,  from  either  party,  30.  Under  what  circumstances 
or  how  far  admissible,  30 — 32. 

Cradles,  291. 

Currants,  204. 

D 

Day,  plan  for  the  business  of  the,  317. 

Daughters,  their  admission  into  sick  room  encouraged,  236. 

Death-bed,  398. 

Decoction  of  Iceland  Liverwort,  268. 

Deportment,  propriety  of,  364. 

Devotion,  see  Religious  Duties,  381. 

Dinner  parties,  61.  Choice  of  persons  to  compose,  and  num- 
ber invited  to,ib.  Arrangementof  the  table  at,62,63.  Cloth, 
64.  Dessert  after,  ib.  Wines  at,  ib.  Servants  and  lights 
at,  65,  66.  Confusion  at,  to  be  avoided,  67. 

Dinner,  announcement  of,  and  regulations  as  to  company  at, 
67.  Carving  at,  69—78.  Drinking  health,  and  taking  wine 
at,  79.  Retirement  of  ladies  from,  ib. 

Dining-room,  see  Furniture,  172. 

Diseases,  contagious,  infectious,  non-contagious,  248.  Con- 
tagious, mumps,  purulent  ophthalmia,  erysipelas,  ring-worm 


INDEX.  403 

of  the  scalp,  itch,  248 — 250.  Infectious  hooping-cough, 
dysentery,  scarlet  fever,  measles,  small-pox,  chicken  pox, 
consumption,  250  254.  Non-contagious,  254.  Inflamma- 
tory and  those  arising  from  debility,  254 — 258. 

Diseases,  red  gum,  293.     Thrush,  296.     Convulsions,  297. 

Dissipation,  general  effects  of  a  life  of,  338. 

Drawing-room,  arrangement  of,  at  morning  vsits,  58. 

Drawing-room,  see  Furniture,  174. 

Dress,  91.     Keeping  in  order  in  wardrobe,  165. 

Dysentery,  251. 

Ducks,  carving,  72. 

Duties,  social,  not  to  be  neglected,  344.  Domestic,  division  of 
the  work.  1.  Duties  of  social  life.  2.  Management  of  house. 
3.  Disposal  of  time.  4.  Moral  and  religious  duties. 

E 

Early-rising,  advantages  of,  309.  For  study,  313.  For  house- 
hold concerns,  id. 

Economy,  89. 

Education,  influence  of,  125. 

Eels,  198. 

Erysipelas,  249. 

Evening  parties,  general  observations,  81.  At  home,  card  for, 
ib.  Balls,  card  for,  82.  Flowers,  lights,  and  music  at,  ib. 
Duty  of  lady  of  the  house  at,  servants  at,  retiring  room,  tea, 
coffee,  refreshments,  supper,  83 — 85.  Routs,  86.  Conver- 
saziones,?$.  Invitations  and  arrangements  at,87.  Cards,  ib. 

Evening,  occupations  for  the,  319.  Drawing  and  music,  ib. 
At  home,  323.  Prayer,  384. 

Example*  influence  of,  124. 

Exercise,  necessity  of  active,  321. 

F 

Fashion,  influence  of,  and  when  to  conform  to,  104 — 106. 

Feeding-bottle,  298. 

Fish,  choice  of,  see  Provisions,  194.     Carving,  70. 

Fomentations,  275. 

Fortitude,  what  it  may  be  defined  to  be,  366.  By  what  sup- 
ported, ib. 

Footman,  see  Servants,  duties  of,  146 — 149.  Wages  of,  117. 
Cleanliness  in  a,  148. 

Foivls.  choice,  199.     Carving,  71. 

Friction,  275. 

Friends,  conduct  towards,  17.  Early,  continued  intercourse 
with,  ib.  Intercourse  with,  how  far  regulated  by  husband's 
wishes,  18.  Intercourse  with,  how  far  affected  by  unequal 
marriages,  19. 


404  INDEX. 

Friendships,  formed  subsequent  to  marriage,  21.  Formations 
of,  and  choice  of  friends,  23 — 21.  Between  married  women 
and  men,  27.  How  regulated. 

Fruit-room,  215. 

Furniture,  good  and  bad  taste  in  selection  of,  168.  Kitchen, 
169.  Cleaning  of,  172.  Steam  kitchen,  170.  Description 
of,  ib.  Expense  of,  171.  Implements  necessary  for,  ib. 
Dining-room,  172.  Pictures  and  sideboard  in,  173,  174. 
Drawing-room,  174.  Observations  of  the  style  of  furniture 
in,  ib.  Drawing  room,  walls  of,  175.  Contrasts  of  colour, 
in,  176.  Carpets  and  chairs  in,  176,  177.  Cleaning  rose- 
wood tables  in,  179.  Marble  slabs,  ib.  Curtains  in,  ib. 
Stoves,  ib.  Oil  cloth  cleaning,  180.  Feathers,  quality  of,  ib. 
Blankets  and  counterpanes,  181.  Beds,  Bed-hangings,  and 
Carpets,  181,  182.  Dressing  room,  183.  Nurseries,  ib. 
Plate  and  cleaning  plate,  184,  185.  Glass  and  China,  187. 
Cleaning  glass,  189. 

Furs,  preservation  of,  165,  166. 

G 

Glass,  187.     Cleaning,  189.     At  dinner,  66. 
Grocery,  &c.,  purchase  of,  203. 
Gruel,  267. 

H 

Bare,  carving,  73. 

Health,  general  observations  on  the  preservation  of,  and  grati 

tude  to  God  for,  219.     Folly  of  talking  of  the  state  of  our, 

223. 
Some,  not  at,  considerations  on  the  propriety  of  this  mode  of 

denial,  55.     Evening  at,  sec  Evening,  323. 
Hooping-cough,  235.  251. 
Housekeeper,  Duties  of,  126.     Wages  of,  117. 
Housemaid,  see  Servants,  Duties  of,  135—140.     Wages  of,  117. 
Husband,  attention  to,  during  illness,  236 — 240. 
Hysterical  spasms,  220 — 223. 

I 

Income,  regulation  in  expenditure  of,  14. 

Indigestion  in  infants,  294. 

Infants,  see  Children  and  Lying-in-room.  Treatment  of  at 
birth,  284—288.  Suckling  of,  by  the  mother,  287.  Wean- 
ing of,  297.  Washing  young,  152.  289.  Direction  of  the 
attention  of,  153.  Where  they  should  sleep,  290—293. 
Cries  of,  293.  Red  Gum  in,  ib.  Hiccough  in,  294.  Bowels 
of  294,  295.  Feeding,  296. 

Introductory  Remarks,  9. 


INDEX.  405 

Invitations,  81. 
Itch,  250. 
Issues,  273. 

J 

Jelly,  270,  271. 

K 

Kitchen,  see  Furniture,  169. 
Knives  and  Forks,  cleaning,  147. 

L 

Lamb,l93.  • 

Laundry  Maid,  duties  of,  140.     Wages  of,  1 17. 

Linen,  family,  and  clothes,  157.  Directions  for  choice  of,  159. 
Bargain  making,  160.  discouraged,  161.  Washing,  161, 
162.  Home  washing,  162.  disadvantages  of,  163.  Preser- 
tion  of,  163,  164.  Removal  of  spots  and  stains  from,  164. 
Mending  of,  165. 

Lobsters,  choice  of,  199. 

Lying-in-room,  276.  Preparations  necessary  for,  277 — 279. 
Clothes  for  the  infant,  and  their  prices,  278.  General  re- 
quisites for  the,  280.  Monthly  nurse  for,  280 — 283.  Ven- 
tilation and  cleanliness  in,  281.  Leaving  the,  285,286. 

M 

Mackarel,  choice  of,  195. 

Mahogany,  polishing,  179. 

Maid,  lady's  wages  of,  117. 

Manners,  ease  of,  when  pleasing,  334.     Of  young  persons  not 

improved  by  too  great  familiarity  with  the  world,  335. 
Manoeuvring,  baneful  effects  of,  358. 
Marketing,  201. 

Married  women,  general  duties  and  obligations  of,  12. 
Meat,  see  Provisions,  191. 
Measles,  234.  251. 
Medical  attendant,  choice  of,  261. 
Misfortunes,  reflections  occasioned  by,  366,  367.     Necessity  of 

restraint  of  feelings  under,  368. 
Morning,  advantages  of,  for  employment,  309.     First  duty  on 

rising  in  the,  311.     Prayer,  384,  385. 
Mothers,  duty  of,  as  nurses,  287. 
Mullet,  choice  of,  195. 
Mumps,  248. 

Mutton,  carving,  74—77.     Choice  of,  193. 
Music  at  balls,  83. 
Muslins,  washing,  140. 


406  INDEX. 

N 

Needlework,  330. 

Negligence  to  personal  appearance,  folly  of,  exemplified,  92. 

Nervous  affections,  258. 

Nurse,  characteristics  of  a  good,  238.  264,  265.  Monthly,  280 
—283.  Wet,  292. 

Nursery  and  nurse  maid,  duties  and  personal  appearance  of  a 
nurse  maid,  143.  Necessity  of  engaging  a  steady  nurse 
maid,  149.  Nurse  maid  not  to  leave  infant,  150.  Correc- 
tion of  children  by,  151.  Habits  of,  152.  Attention  to  in- 
fant by,  ib.  Selection  of,  154.  Acquaintance  by,  156. 
Amusements  of  children  in  nursery,  what  encouraged,  what 
forbidden,  155,  156.  Children  when  to  be  removed  from 
nursery,  157.  Furniture  of  nursery,  183. 

o 

Oil  Cloth,  180. 
Ox  beef,  192. 
Oysters,  199. 


Parties,  Dinner,  see  Dinner  Parties,  61.    Evening,  see  Evening 

Parties,  81. 

Partridges,  carving,  72. 
Pheasants  and  Pigeons,  carving,  73. 
Pig-,  carving,  77. 

Plate,  184.     Cleaning,  185.     Intrusting  to  servants,  186. 
Pleasure,  disappointment  attending  the  mere  pursuit  of,  337. 

In  what  we  may  take  real,  ib.     Review  of  the  conduct  and 

feelings  of  the  votaries  of,  338 — 344. 
Pleurisy,  234. 

Poor,  visiting  the  houses  of  the,  and  clothing  the,  100. 
Poultry,  199. 
Poultices,  276. 
Pork,  193. 

Pox,  small,  251.     Chicken,  252. 
Prayer,  see  Religious  Duties,  383. 
Presents,  when  to  be  made,  value  of,  and  now  regulated,  102 

—104. 

Preserves,  209. 
Pride  and  vanity,  causes  of  self-deceptions,  360.     Definition* 

of,  361,  362. 

Principles  of  conduct,  advantages  of  good,  349. 
Private  devotion,  necessity  and  propriety  of,  312. 
Procrastination,  disadvantages  of,  316. 
Propriety,  definition  of,  333. 


407 

Provisions,  choice  of,  191.  Ox  beef,  192.  Veal,  193.  Lamb, 
ib.  Mutton,  ib.  Pork,  ib.  Bacon,  194.  Venison,  ib.  Fish, 
ib.  Turbot,  cod,  salmon,  skate,  soles,  herring,  whiting, 
mackarel,  hake,  mullet,  eels,  194—198.  Sea-cr ay-fish,  199, 
Domestic  fowls,  ib.  Pigeons,  hares,  partridges,  200.  Mar- 
keting, 201.  Purchase  of,  203.  Stores,  204. 

Purulent  ophthalmia,  248. 

Putrid  sore  thoat,  235. 

Q 

Quadrille  parties,  card  for,  81. 

R 

Raisins,  204,  205. 

Reading  aloud,  330. 

Red  gum,  in  infants,  293. 

Relations,  conduct  towards,  39.  Who  have  formerly  kept  hue- 
band's  house,  40.  Influence  of  wife's,  in  regulation  of  her 
family  affairs,  41.  Interference  by,  in  matrimonial  disputes, 
ib.  Imprudence  in  imparting  them  to,  42.  Advice,  how 
and  when  to  be  requested  and  taken  from,  ib.  Conduct 
towards  husband's,  45. 

Religious  duties,  381.  Value  of  habitual  piety,  382.  Deep 
gratitude  to  God  earnestly  inculcated,  383.  Necessity  of 
regular  acts  cf  worship,  384.  Prayer,  ib.  Private  devotion 
indispensable,  386.  Family  worship,  387.  Effect  of  it  on 
the  mind,  ib.  Public  worship,  and  attendance  of  servants 
at,  388.  Attention  to  the  poor  a  religious  duty,  395. 

Resignation,  of  what  the  effect,  and  to  \vhat  opposed,  369. 

Ring-worm  of  the  scalp  and  scald-head,  249,  250. 

Roots,  how  kept,  217. 

3 

Salmon,  helping  to,  78.     Choice  of,  195. 

Servants,  107.  Number  of,  too  many  td  be  avoided,  109. 
Food  for,  and  regularity  of  meals  for,  110.  Meals  of  dif- 
ferent, when  taken,  111.  Illness  of,  and  treatment  during, 
112.  Indulgence  towards,  visiting  by,  and  when  113,  114. 
Receiving  visits,  114.  Dress  of  female,  115.  Wages  of, 
117.  Presents  to,  discouraged,  1 18.  Hiring,  register-offices, 
ib.  Love  of  change,  and  bad  effects  of  it  among,  122.  Cha- 
racter of,  necessity  of  giving  a  strictly  true  one,  123.  In- 
fluence of  example  on,  124.  Education,  125.  Housekeeper, 
duties  of,  126.  Cook,  qualifications  and  duties  of,  128 — 134. 
Housemaid,  135 — 139.  Laundry  maid,  140.  Nurse-maid, 
142—145.  Footman,  146— 149.  Illness  of,  243.  Expenses 
of  illness  of,  245. 

Shopping,  and  seeing  sights,  322. 


408  INDEX. 

Sick-room,  visiting  the,  and  useful  lesson  afforded  by,  396. 

Sincerity  strongly  inculcated,  356, 357. 

Sleep,  duration  of,  225,  226. 

Soap,  quantity  to  be  used  for  a  week's  wash,  141. 204. 

Society,  entrance  into,  for  young  persons,  334.     Influence  of 

women  in,  352. 

Stains,  removal  of,  from  silks  and  woollens,  164. 
Strangers,  not  to  be  acquainted  with  family  occurrences,  45. 
Suspicion,  character  injured  by,  364,  365. 

T 

Taste,  expensive,  96.     To  what  claim  they  must  yield,  97 
Temper,  influence  of  a  good,  46.     In  a  wife  over  her  husband, 

47.     Over  her  children,  49.     Over  her  servants,  51.     Effects 

of  a  good  in  society,  ib. 
Time,  advantages  of  economizing,  308.    Disposal  of,  for  the 

day,  309. 
Tradesmen's  books,  202. 

V 

Vaccination,  remarks  on,  302"— 306. 

Vice,  exclusion  from  society  the  unavoidable  consequences  of,  32. 

Visiting  and  visits,  forms  of,  53.  Morning,  ib.  Time  for,  and 
duration  of,  ib.  When  made  to,  and  by  a  newly  married 
woman,  ib.  Economy  of  time  with  regard  to,  54.  Not  at 
home  to,  55.  Restrictions  to,  when,  and  to  whom  necersary, 
57.  Arrangements  of  the  drawing-rooms  at,  58.  General 
regulations  relative  to,  60.  Dinner,  see  Dinner  parties,  61. 
Evening,  see  Evening  parties,  81.  The  houses  of  the  poor, 
100.  General  conduct  while  visiting,  332. 

w 

Washing  at  home,  162.     Children,  153. 

Wardrobe,  division  of,  ornamental  and  Useful,  158. 

Weaning  infants,  299.     Food  after,  301. 

Widow  and  widowhood, conduct  during  the  earlier  time  of, 370, 
Her  conduct  towards  her  husband's  executors  and  the  guar- 
dians of  her  children,  371.  Towards  her  late  husband's 
family  and  friends,  372.  Towards  her  other  friends,  373. 

Will,  making  a,  and  portions  to  children  under,  378. 

Wine-cellar,  210. 

Wines,  directions  as  to  bottling,  213.     Home-made,  214. 

Wine,  white  wine  whey,  269. 

Woollens,  preservation  of,  166. 

Women,  importance  and  influence  of,  in  society,  352.  Failings 
of,  355,  356. 

Wounds,  dressing,  273.     Bandage  for,  274. 


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